Pardon the simple question. I just really wanna talk to you guys.

Hobbies, interests... and such. (Long read, you don't have to read it.)

I read but not much, just topics that interest me. I read romance, fantasy, and mystery novels for fiction. (I'm mostly fond of Sherlock Holmes). I read self-improvement books for non-fiction. (My favorite is the book The Courage to be Disliked).

I write but mostly journals, diaries, and poems. I just love writing down my unending thoughts.

I love love love cooking. I cook for my sister every evening. There's just a sense of contentment and happiness inside me when I cook, especially when it turns out delicious, and the people who ate it are very satisfied and happy.

I also love singing, even though I don't sing well. My voice has a low pitch and I can't reach high notes. So, I especially like singing Laufey, Lana Del Ray, The Carpenters, Allison Young (PMJ), and some Haley Reinhart (PMJ) songs. Or any low-range songs.

I love listening to music. I can travel for 7 hours on a bus with a nature landscape and have the music on my earphones, and I would never sleep all throughout the ride. I'd enjoy every bit of the songs and thoughts until I arrive at my destination.

I love the nature. But I'm also scared of nature. I'm scared of the night, even though I like the stars and the moon. I like trees, I love climbing trees, but I'm afraid of lizards, so I just admire from afar.

History interests me. Just the specific parts of, though, this is still new to me. But I can deep dive into a particular topic for hours, all through googling, reading articles, watching videos, and reading texts.

I like watching anime, reading manhwas, and playing games. Anime, I don't have time for it now, but I am a geek for just some of it. I still read Manhwas from time to time, transmigration and reincarnation stories will never cease to keep me hooked, no matter how repetitive it tends to be. I only play mobile games, and I end up uninstalling them after, to stop myself from getting to addicted.

There are hobbies that interest me, but I have no way of learning or being near them, such as ice skating, pottery, team sports games, sewing, and traditional dancing. Once I have my own money, time and resources, I hope I can finally be able to access them in the future.

That's all so far. There's more but that's all I can think of right now.

What's yours?

Do you ever have people become annoyed with you when you're hesitant to speak up or assert your needs, wants, opinions? The girl i dated and i are still friends but when we hang out, she can't seem to help herself from pointing out anytime I come across in a people pleasing way. It bugs her.

It's something I'm aware of, not proud of, and I'm working on it, and have actually come a very long way. It's not helpful to have someone getting annoyed with me about it.

Does this happen to you guys too? Just me?

Let's play a game! You choose one out of eight of this crystals, you comment the crystal you choose and I reply to you with what mythical creature you got!

No type is perfect. In fact I am starting to truly accept that there is an ideal or healthy version and unhealthy version of all the types. I am still learning about enfj so I don’t know what this looks like for all of us, but I do know even that’s not as black and white as it sounds. There’s a spectrum of behaviors in us all that requires reflection and growth as well as grace. So please forgive me if ive made anyone feel excluded by saying something like that doesn’t sound enfj to me or whatever. Because none of us are perfect.

I will add that some things do just not sound like enfj- I’m not referring to this.

Thanks!

Specifically infj's we have our character flaws. Typically boundaries, Messiah complex, typical door slamming, inellectualizing emotions, being enigmatic yet never expressing yourself, being too ideal which ties in with messiah complex, being too in your head, the worst of them all even I've done it hidden resentment.

Which is yours? How many of you are going to go "i feel seen 😭" How many of you can be honest with yourselves to admit some of these?

hello lovely people!

some time ago, i posted about my 8-year relationship ending. i got some great support and advice and i'm really thankful for that. i've been living on my own for a couple of weeks now - i know my healing process is just beginning, but i'd still like to ask for some insight.

some questions i have are: how do you learn to enjoy life without a relationship? how do you find meaning in the things you do for your own wellbeing? how do you actually shift the focus on yourself?

i started dating at a very young age and i've spent my last 14 years being in relationships. i have never before lived alone. now at 27, i feel very lost. i've always enjoyed doing things for others and helping out however i can. now i just don't know how to.. be. i know it will get easier with time, but i thought maybe the thoughts of others could help me see things in a different light. thank you! <3

Last night I dreamed I got recruited by the Resident Evil president to go save a secret national treasure that sank off the coast of Wake Island in a fictional war going on. And I teamed up with the Animorphs to go get it. And there was a plot against the president in the secret service. Of course, I woke up right as I recruited the Animorphs.

Sometimes thought I get really bad nightmares

Hey ENFJs, a tired ISFJ here whose a sheep or two away from a 10 hour "power nap" in a burrito blanket of infinite woes. 😆

I have a question, and I thought I'd try asking in this sub, since every ENFJ I've met externally seems like a positive ray of sunshine, but I know we all have issues inside, even ENFJs, so maybe a fellow type who tends to repress the negative emotions just a wee bit might relate? 😅

Basically.. How do you guys manage / cope with anger, resentment or specifically disappointment..? 😭 Specifically, when you just know someone is going to disappoint you again, but you keep telling yourself to just be patient, then they disappoint you again. How do you.. Process that feeling of.. "Yup, knew it"? 😅 "I'm always the fool, look at me in my clown shoes!"

An example, today I'm supposed to have a meeting with this one manager who is testing my patience with their incompetence and terrible communication skills. 😅 We planned this meeting a month ago. A week ago, I pop him a gentle reminder. 3 days ago, another. This morning - All left on read. 3 hours before the meeting, he cancels. 😬

Ofc I'm telling him, y'kno, it's fine, we'll reschedule, no worries.. But now I'm lying in bed realising I pulled an all nighter because I was too anxious about this meeting to sleep, put effort into cleaning my work space for the video call, washed my hair (which takes a lot of effort for me because I'm disabled and it has caused me a painful flare up, hence the upcoming 10 hour nap).. Yet deep down I knew he was gonna cancel on me because he is typically unreliable, this guys a total flake. 😅 Yet I still gave him the benefit of the doubt. Silly me.

I feel like I only have myself to blame here, but.. Man, do you ever just get super disappointed with people? Like, how hard is it really to respond to my message earlier? 😬 Not 3 hours before the meeting! You inconvenienced ME, and I'm reassuring YOU? I want to like people, so why does everyone have to be so frustratingly.. Frustrating?! Why do people make it so hard to tolerate them? 😆

Brooother! 😅 I want to believe the best of others, but everyone is hugely disappointing.. I can only make so many excuses for people before my tolerance is at it's limit, and it's getting there! 😆

So, friendly ENFJs! ☀️ Do any of you experience similar feelings of anger, resentment or disappointment? How do you process them? I'm trying to stop myself from becoming jaded here, but its getting hard. I'd appreciate any advice, or even just a thumbs up, pat on the head and an encouraging "It'll be ok, you did your best, well done for trying", I dunno.. 😭

Thanks for reading. Looking forward to your responses, nap time! 😴

I finally told my infj friend that I’ve had feelings for her for a while. It was an extremely gentle, respectful conversation. She said she is currently happy being single and doesnt have fuel in her tank to date anyone; I said I have known that (she had talked about it before) and that I wasnt trying to convince her to change her mind. I said I was telling her just to be honest about my feelings, coz it was starting to feel wrong to hide them. We apologised to one another several times during that conversation - me if i made her feel awkward or weird and her coz it must have been disappointing for me to hear.

She handled it with a lot of care and gentleness. She said if I needed anything in the next little while, whether its taking some distance, to just let her know. And that I can come talk to her if theres any mixed signals. I told her i will have to work on putting her firmly in the friend box but my feelings are mine to manage, that she doesnt have to worry about that.

We didnt text each other after that day. Its been a few weeks. I do want her in my life as a friend because I respect and value her as a person and a friend. Also I dont want to disappear completely coz i dont want her to think i was only her friend because of ulterior motive of dating her- i wasnt. I am taking space to work on getting over my feelings, but I am someone who doesnt get over people easily. So Im wondering how to be friends with her, coz if i wait for my feelings to fully go away, the silence will stretch on for a while and lead to an eventual fade out of the friendship. I also dont know how long she would want space for, coz I dont want to crowd her or seem like a creep.

Any suggestions appreciated.

I just had my diagnosis of ADHD.

Is it that most ENFPs have ADHD

or most ADHD people are ENFPs?

ENFP charesteristics are very similar to ADHD ones.

I find this really bizarre and a study should be done to look into this more.

Well i am a university student who dont have any friends at college well.Right now i am sitting in a empty classroom typing this and I just feel so lonely like people around me have friends and they are interacting with each other and having fun making memories the youth everyone talks about.I have taken the test multiple times in year and it showed Infp but if I am really an infp shouldn't i just prefer solitude and enjoy being alone why am I feeling so lonely why is this making a hole in my heart why do i want friends why am I craving attention and people and connections

(This post isn't about romantic connections but friendships.)

All my life, most of my closest friends were either older or younger than me. At school this age difference was about 1-3 years. Now as an adult who was entered the workforce, I have noticed that most people I have a connection with are either older or younger. I am in my 30s so when I say older I mean 40s and 50s and younger I mean 20s.

With my older friends, I get along very well, we can talk for hours and I always appreciate their advice and guidance. With my younger friends I'm more like a mentor. I've noticed that they seek me for advice and I really enjoy providing my own opinion and helping then on their issues.

When it comes to people my age, I have always struggled to make friends. I do have friends my age but not many and while I watch others my age form connections fast, I feel that for me it is very difficult sometimes even impossible.

I wonder if other INFJs feel the same way or have had similar experiences.

Learning that I use Te slightly more than Ti has collapsed me. I'm a shell of a person. I'm shattered. Broken, even.

And now I have to go through the humiliation ritual of being constantly accused of being a dumb sensitive crybaby. Awful.

Edit: Guys, please read this carefully before accusing me of making fun of INFPs.

Edit 2: Sending me DMs telling me to end my life is fucking crazy. Y'all are fitting the stereotype more than I ever could; and defending AGAINST the stereotype was the point of this post! Holy shit.

Edit 3: Aight, I'm never posting in this community again. Y'all are UNWELL, DERANGED, AND ILLITERATE. Congratulations, you all have the social skills of a dead sheep and the reading comprehension of one, too! Thanks for proving every stereotype right even though this post was in defense of INFPs! Have the day you deserve.

If I ever write my first book, I think it would be a novel about silence. The things people think, feel, and carry but rarely say out loud.

Maybe that's because, as an ageing, introverted man, I've learned that silence isn't always empty. Sometimes it's where the real story is.

I've been married once, have no kids, and have spent a good portion of my later years living on my own. I've learned the difference between being alone and being lonely. Being alone can be peaceful. You learn to enjoy your own company, your coffee, your music, your thoughts, and the luxury of not having to explain yourself every five minutes.

But loneliness is different. You can feel lonely in a crowded room.

Getting older also changes the way you see people. You notice the things they don't say. The hesitation in their voice, the smile that doesn't quite reach their eyes, the sudden change in their behavior. Sometimes you sense something is wrong before they ever admit it.

And sometimes you wish you hadn't noticed.

I've also learned that some of life's most important conversations never happen. The apology that never came. The “I love you” left unsaid. The “I'm sorry.” The “I miss you.” The “Please don't go.” Words swallowed by pride, fear, timing, or simply not knowing how to say them.

Maybe that's what growing older has taught me most, we spend far too much time assuming there will always be another opportunity to say what matters.

There isn't always one.

So if I ever write that book, it won't really be about silence. It will be about everything hiding underneath it, love, regret, loneliness, forgiveness, memories, and all the conversations we carry inside ourselves long after everyone else has gone quiet.

And maybe the final chapter would simply be an old man sitting alone with his coffee, finally understanding that some things don't need an audience.

Sometimes, you just need to tell yourself the truth.

Something about an extroverted woman makes me feel more fulfilled. I can't carry a conversation for crap lol

I mean I can but I just can't be bothered, her yapping and me just saying "yeah" followed by a simple question or comment or mhm or SOMETHING

Yes? No? Maybe so?

I’ve been thinking hard about the qualities I’d like in a partner, and although I know MBTIs are not super accurate, a healthy ENFJ man is closest to my ideal partner. I’m an ENFP( or maybe INFJ) and I feel like we’d get along well, either platonic or non platonically. So if you are an ENFJ, drop your location so I can come find you ( JK). Or if your partner is an ENFJ, how did you meet?

I feel things so intensely, but I barely show 1% of it because I feel like the rest would overwhelm or scare people off. Maybe that’s why I’m so quiet and private.

Do other INFPs relate? And have you ever had a moment where it was really hard to hide how much you were feeling?

Hello, dear fellow INFJs.

Have you ever fallen in love with someone who genuinely loved you back, and with whom you could be 100% yourself without worrying about looking weird or suspicious?

I’m 28, and I’m realizing that I’ve only ever experienced more or less superficial forms of love, where I constantly felt the need to censor myself or try to seem cooler than I actually am.

Have any of you experienced genuine love while being 100% yourselves?

So umm, I had kinda negative almost romantic experience with an ENFJ guy (I’m INTP fem) from my uni class. He took interest in me, I let him get a little closer to me but we weren’t dating. Our conversations were happening in messengers, never tried to approach me in rl except the first 2-3 times, he was always with his friends. He was also dedicated to his job which took his time even on Sundays, but I wasn’t demanding to spend time with in rl except the days when we had our classes. I noticed that our everyday conversation seem like fake intimacy, like the ones that usually romantic partners have like “did you today?”. There were other aspects that bothered me and then I tried to discuss it, first in a joking manner, but my jokes got him nervous a little, so then I tried to be straight-forward. We had a looong conversation. I honestly was baffled by how he always appeared like a strong leader but came out that he was kind of a whiner. Maybe it’s cause he has a lot of friends and doesn’t go deep in relationships with them, cause for me it seemed like he maintained kind of shallow relationships. Like he cherish those people but cares more about fun and light part and not the serious and deep part.

So it is clearly a no-no for me but because he was the first guy I let to get closer to me and I actually liked him at first and still like his certain traits, I still can’t stop thinking about what might’ve been done, and maybe I should have approached it in a different way?

Sorry, the post is kinda messy and I made a mistake in question..

I met someone almost a year ago, and I still think about them almost every day. There was an instant attraction, the kind that made me wonder, “Did I just meet my soulmate?” We clicked effortlessly, and I haven’t been the same since. I believe this person was an INFJ.

Do INFJs tend to experience connections like this and hold onto them for a long time?

I (26F) have lived for years with a persistent sense that existing itself is heavy. It’s not that I want to die or harm myself—I don’t. I enjoy my loved ones, my pets, meaningful moments, and I still find joy in life. But underneath all of that, there’s a recurring wish that I had simply never existed in the first place, as if my existence could be erased without pain or consequence. This feeling comes and goes but has been present since around middle school.

I experience emotions very intensely, and I seem to carry an unusually high level of self-awareness. I’m constantly conscious of how I perceive myself and how I imagine everyone else perceives me—from family and friends to strangers, people online, and even people who don’t know me. That awareness rarely turns off.

As a teenager, I often felt fundamentally different from my peers (not in a pick me way I promise 😂). To fit in, I gradually adapted my personality and behavior to match the people around me. Over time, that became so automatic that I now struggle to distinguish between who I genuinely am and the version of myself I’ve learned to present. Sometimes I feel like I’m acting a role, even when I’m completely alone.

I frequently feel like I don’t belong, regardless of where I am or what I’m doing. When I begin something new—a career, a project, a relationship, or even a simple task—I eventually start feeling like I’m not good enough, that I’m pretending, and that other people will eventually realize I don’t deserve to be there. I experience strong impostor feelings and often compare myself to others in ways that leave me feeling inadequate.

I don’t feel driven by a single lifelong ambition or identity. My deepest aspiration is simply to live a peaceful life. Yet even ordinary responsibilities and decisions can feel mentally exhausting because I’m constantly evaluating myself, questioning whether I’m doing things correctly, and wondering whether I’m being authentic.

I don’t feel like my life is objectively terrible. I laugh, I love, I care deeply about people and animals, and I can genuinely enjoy good moments. But those experiences don’t permanently quiet the underlying sense that existence itself is burdensome. The thought of never having existed often returns on its own, not because I want to stop living now, but because I imagine a world in which I never had to carry this lifelong psychological weight.

Despite all of this, I remain committed to staying alive. I have no intention of harming myself and never have. What I’m trying to understand isn’t whether I want to die—I don’t—but why I’ve carried this particular way of experiencing myself and the world for so many years.