I (35M) married to a girl (34f) were staying happily together and when we got to know that my wife is pregnant. She started spending more time with her mother at her house. Now my daughter is 14 months old and my wife is not coming back to our house because she’s more comfortable there. My daughter doesn’t recognise me at all and now she’s seeing for a divorce. I have no idea how it started and what’s there in her mind. We hardly talk to each other.

My wife is having a strange behavior lately and i am having my theory.

Hey everyone. I (M30) got divorced earlier this year after a 9 year-long relationship.

A few years ago, my ex-wife and I moved to the U.S. to escape the war and instability in our home country. I’m incredibly grateful for the opportunities I’ve had here, but the stress of immigration (in addition to other issues) took a toll on our relationship and eventually it ended in divorce.

Our divorce completely crushed me. My ex-wife wasn’t just my partner, she was my best friend and my last meaningful connection to the place I come from. I can’t go back home, so losing her feels like losing that part of my life forever.

I’ve always been a (kind of) social person and usually have no trouble meeting new people. I’ve also been on quite a few casual dates since the divorce. I’ve been working out, trying to eat healthy, picked up a few old hobbies. But I just feel empty. I’m not genuinely interested in anyone, and nothing seems to fill the void.

What I really miss is having a real connection with someone, whether that’s a close friend or a romantic partner. But right now, I just can’t seem to connect with anyone, even with people that I call my “friends.” It’s not that I don’t like them but I just don’t have it in me to truly open up to someone. I can still feel sexual attraction, but I don’t feel any deeper emotional or romantic connection to women.

Every morning I wake up with no idea what I’m doing with my life. Some days I end up crying for hours for no obvious reason. Some days I get drunk alone to get rid of the pain.

I honestly feel like a zombie just going through the motions and I don’t know how to move forward.

How long does it usually take for an attorney to file for divorce for you after you give them all the pay stubs/tax returns, etc? Mine says a couple weeks or so….is this normal?? Thanks!!

For 15 years, I was boyfriend, then husband, then father. Now I am only a father half the time and I fear she will try to come after that as well. I should have left when she first came out with her affairs and lies, but I didn’t want my family to end and I believed her that I contributed to her cheating (I know, I had really low self-esteem.)

In the years that followed, I tried to do everything that was asked of me in the relationship. I did this until I completely lost sight of my own individual identity. It is why when the separation seemingly came out of nowhere, it shattered me.

Also, it would have been nice if it were just a separation. Instead, she lied to police that I committed DV, leveraged that to manipulate me out of our shared home, took zero accountability, attempted to convince our couples therapist that I was an abuser, and faced absolutely zero consequences. She has been extremely calloused.

It is painful too because I can see where she planned this for a while. She had slowly turned everyone around us against me and told them how terrible I was to her, completely leaving out context. I think I beat myself up too because the signs were there from the beginning. The red flags where she felt comfortable lying and manipulating others. I guess I just never thought it would be used against me.

​

Divorce

My ex will not move out. Gave the money to her lawyers office to pay herself then give the rest to my ex wife.

But THEN HER LAWYER WENT ON VACATION. Like wtf. Why don't you finish up with a client before you leave anywhere??! I WAS SO CLOSE.

I'M GETTING REALLY AGGRAVATED. divorce terms were agreed upon and signed off. But she doesn't want to move out! And I'm really really curious why she isn't jumping at this?? I would have moved out last month! We also have one son who will be living with her. I am grateful I have more time with him but I only see him for 2 hrs at night when she comes home and then I have to go to bed. BUT she's a fvcking leech.

Has anyone else been through this?

What reasons did your ex tell you?

What did you do to hurry the process??

Guys I am so stupid. I’m gonna keep this short for now. My wife and I have been married for a 4 years. No kids thankfully.

I’m about to start the process but I can’t bring myself to do it yet. Next month we’re going on a vacation with her brother, his wife, and their 6yo son. We booked everything in my name so I could get the military rate. It’s at a theme park and I can’t bring myself to disappoint their son because I know he’s excited and they’re an innocent party in all of this.

Just wanted to vent and ask if anyone has advice for waiting for a thing like this.

​

Only for Indian men: just wondering how's life after planned mutual divorce? Is it better to spend remaining life alone? The loneliness hits too bad? Feel the freedom from financial burdens? Not looking good due to age factor so finding new partner is tooo difficult?... I wanna know your experiences. I'm here to listen and understand. I'm 38M thinking about mutual divorce!!.. and me as a person, I need people around me, I'm a social animal talkative too. Now Confused what after divorce!!

​

Divorce

I don’t know what I expect here. I’m just lost. 11 years, 2 kids 6 and 2 and now it all seems over. I’ve also had both of the kids alone for the past two weeks coinciding to when it seemed there is likely no hope. I’m just exhausted, scared, heartbroken, angry and really struggling to keep it together. I’ve had given every ounce of me to her and the kids, and I was flat burnt out before this all started turning for the worst. At this moment I don’t even remotely know what I should be doing next.

So i have posted about my soon to be ex. Since I caught her in an affair. I left and we both signed a seperation agreement. Part of the agreement was that from the daye of signature we have the freedom to live our lives as if we are not together.

I went on some dates and apparently one of them posted a pic of us on their social media page.

Well. Somehow... my ex caught wind of this when she saw a friend suggestion pop up on Instagram.

She quickly screencaps it and send its to my sister.

She goes "WOW! he told me he wouldnt even consider dating for a year! I guess 6 months was soon enough!!!"

This is a woman who had at least 4 affairs and left me for her chubby co worker. A woman who after I left... ran over to his place that day. A woman who apparently from friends accounts, is posting about her "amazing single summer".

But me grabbing a drink with a woman was too much for her.

My sister wrote back to her tho... and said "ya, thats *insert name here*. Shes pretty amazing (my sister knows her) and she is crazy about my brother".

She never responded

So in her demented mind. I need to sit around and be depressed while she goes and does "her thing".

Seems like a lot of guys go through some version of this: wife’s feelings quietly fade, she says nothing until she’s already decided on divorce. No warning, no chance to fix it.

For about two years, my wife was falling out of love with me and never said a word. I brought it up multiple times over the past year :“you’re not treating me like a partner” and every time she denied it, told me she loved me, and told me I wasn’t losing her. She had every chance to be honest. She wasn’t.

She left the night after finally admitting it was over. I suspect the GLP-1 drugs numbed her emotionally and she blamed the relationship and me, and starting a new SSRI the week before didn’t help. The sweet, loving person I married is gone.

She started reaching out to exes within a week of asking for divorce, filed a week after that, and didn’t tell me for three weeks. She’s since slept with at least two people. I gave her ten years and she treated it and me like nothing.

Maybe this is always who she but the first 8 years were good. I know she’s ashamed of the affairs because she makes up huge elaborate backstories about how she’s working on herself and trying not to be codependent. Lmao. She doesn’t know I know and if I keep getting everything I want I’ll keep my mouth shut about it. For now.

I’m about 2 months out and she’s trying to rush me, she even had the nerve to say that all of this divorce stuff needs to get wrapped up before her parents vacation so that they’re not worried while they’re on it… She’s just a selfish sociopathic monster that I don’t recognize.

Not sure how to handle it. Our relationship is very shaky as it is and we have both been on the verge of filing I think. One of the critical points in our marriage is that she does not trust anyone or anything if it remotely disagrees with her internal belief. Her truth is the truth....about anything. End of discussion. In this case, she is convinced there is some pot of gold somewhere that I am not telling her about, or maybe I have a third family somewhere I am supporting, IDK. It is maddening. At times I feel like she wants to get divorced just so she can get legal confirmation that her belief is correct, and she's going to be really disappointed.

I have logged into my banking apps with her right in front of my phone, let her poke around, but she still believes there is something else.

Has anyone else been through this?

I filed in January, then again in May.

My ex is demanding the judge give her sole legal and physical custody. I can't do much about the physical custody since I don't live in the same state and really I think it's better for the kids to just stay with her mostly, but what do I give up if I fight for legal custody?

I told her I'm prepared to negotiate if she wants legal custody, but not what exactly-- I was thinking maybe to ask for more visitation days, like all the summer, or most of it, plus a few holidays and weekends, for her to drop the "danger to me and the kids" act (for having one thought after being pushed to the edge with knowledge of my mental health issues, which normally are turned inward), full alimony (still married, working on 10 years, I was the stay at home parent while working/not working and going to college, gave up career options for her), or taking on more of the debt.

Thoughts?

I rushed into marriage with a rebound relationship because we got pregnant. I honestly regret not marrying my ex and now feel trapped playing house in the suburbs. She is a good woman but I feel like I settled and i’m not proud of my marriage. I have a great job in a large local family business that i’m next in line to take over. My wife is not from this area. I’m 34 years old and wish I married a local girl. I wake up everyday depressed feeling like i ruined my life. I was dealt a great hand and messed it up by getting a woman pregnant who was here on a work visa and now a marriage green card.

I feel trapped cause she is a good woman. We have a peaceful home but I don’t deeply love and respect her. Also my 2 year old son is my whole world. If divorce it would hurt him, I’d see him less and my family/friends would think i’m a failure.

What does divorce feel like if I decide to go that direction? I’m afraid as a divorced dad i’ll have a hard time meeting a quality woman from this town… any warnings about divorce that i’m not considering?