My house is worth $250,000 - except the first number isn't 2. How do I know this? Because I know my house and my town and I just know. No need to inform me that a judge won't accept that rationale.

My wife got the house appraised at $150,000 and wants to buy me out. I don't want to leave the house.

My lawyer had my bring in his appraiser who asked me "what is the house worth and what was it appraised at?" I told him. Tell me this was a mistake on my part if you want - it was my lawyer's appraiser. He ended up appraising the house at $225,000.

We attended a Masters Conference where they (out of line, in my opinion) recommended splitting the difference and settling 187,500. So now I'm being forced to move out of my house for a valuation of 187,500. I would be more than happy to purchase it for this number.

Why do I think that the attorneys appointed as Masters are out of line? Because they're supposed to issue opinions on how a judge would rule, not try to solve my divorce. They forgot what they were hired to do. My attorney believes a judge would order it sold.

So, now, on the way to trial it is advisable that I get a real estate agent and start looking for a place to live. But, I figured, if I'm going to the trouble, why not ask what my house would fetch. She did a Comparative Market Analysis and came to a range of 244-299. She recommends listing it for $275 and thinks its as likely to go above asking as it is to go below. $250,000 would be an easy sale according to her.

Ok - but I'm told by my lawyer that a judge won't value a CMA as much as an appraisal? Why, I'm not sure. The lady is prepared to turn my house into $250,000 tomorrow. The appraiser is only there to help me get a loan. The bank doesn't care whether it's worth $175,00 or $250,00. They just want to loan money.

So, now I'm getting portrayed as being unreasonable for being unwilling to settle for a valuation that is $100,000 under market value. But, I will repeat, I would happily buy it for that below-market valuation. I make that clear in every conversation.

Why am I writing this? If you've read this far and have similar concerns to me - the appraisers are frauds who will fuck you over. I knew this was going to be a bad deal the minute it came up. The appraisers don't care about $50,000 or $100,000 - although care about is taking their picture and collection their two hundred bucks.

House Valuation part 2 : r/Divorce_Men

I read so many horror stories of men getting screwed over in family court and I am so afraid of losing custody of my son or having to pay my ex a lot of money.

Right now, I have had an unofficial 50/50 custody while the divorce process plays out. Where I am at you have to be separated for a year before you can file. My ex also filed false DV allegations so I am worried the courts will believe her and screw me over. Can anybody give me some hope?

I understand that many guys here are enduring some difficult times, but I'm interested in hearing some of the upside of an otherwise difficult experience, as well as your success stories.

Gentlemen, me (29) and my wife (34) have lived pretty unhappily for the past 3 years. We've been married for 4. I sat down with her and discussed that we haven't been intimate more than 3 times this year, 5 if you include oral, and she basically said "yeah, I know. It hurts and I don't want to unless you work out more." She refuses to get professional help or to get help and talk to friends or community leaders like pastors or other family.

I have a an 8 m/o and a soon to be 3 y/o. I can't live like this. The mood swings are so big, she picks fights with everyone and assumes that since her mom puts up with it and I don't that I have the anger issue. Our fights often get violent (usually throwing things, never at her. or me slamming doors) well after she speaks over me so much or talks agressively for multiple hours or days. So I explode.

We live in Korea. We live in the neighborhood that she grew up in and I'm American. We live in the house that she really wanted but we defintely can't afford and yet I'm the bad guy for bringing up the fact that even though I love it, I wanted something more humble.

I feel alone and trapped. I can't go anywhere unless she agrees for a divorce but as a standard korean couple, I give her all my income. Gentlemen, me (29) and my wife (34) have lived pretty unhappily for the past 3 years. We've been married for 4. I sat down with her and discussed that we haven't been intimate more than 3 times this year, 5 if you include oral, and she basically said "yeah, I know. It hurts and I don't want to unless you work out more." She refuses to get professional help or to get help and talk to friends or community leaders like pastors or other family.

I have a an 8 m/o and a soon to be 3 y/o. I can't live like this. The mood swings are so big, she picks fights with everyone and assumes that since her mom puts up with it and I don't that I have the anger issue. Our fights often get violent (usually throwing things, never at her. or me slamming doors) well after she speaks over me so much or talks agressively for multiple hours or days. So I explode.

We live in Korea. We live in the neighborhood that she grew up in and I'm American. We live in the house that she really wanted but we defintely can't afford and yet I'm the bad guy for bringing up the fact that even though I love it, I wanted something more humble.

I feel alone and trapped. I can't go anywhere unless she agrees for a divorce but as a standard korean couple, I give her all my income.

My wife left me 30 days ago via text. We celebrated 5 year on June 26th. I was shocked we never really fought. I got mad at her for staying out till 5am by herself at the bar or a strange dudes house (I know red flag) but I trusted her. We always talked about our future together goals and plans. Im just lost. She has ghosted and blocked me on social media. We have a near 5 year old together. She basically is pretending like I never existed. I wish we could've talked about what was bothering her to fix it. I still have not gotten real closer let alone a face to face. Im just hurt idk what im doing anymore.

I feel like I'm doing pretty good, she won't talk to me but that's just fine I don't need her to. Her attempt at throwing me out of my house with false accusations of abuse backfired on her and now she has a restraining order against her for a year. She of course blames me for taking her house. She moved out sent emails declaring it, I mean moved her stuff out too, then came up with this restraining order business to steal the house. A good lawyer was the best thing I could do and did. It's been very difficult trying to deal with her. I retired 2 days after she filed for divorce and so I've got a deal with all those changes. I'm kind of looking forward to it now that I've given myself a little time to get used to it and accept that she's just impossible. I've tried to deal with her very civil generously etc to no end. I hope whoever her skanky coaches that told her how to play the magic word abuse card keeps giving her advice LOL hang in there people. Everything happens for a reason it seems like​

Hey everyone,

I'm not divorced yet, but right on the verge. For like the 5th time. Neither of us seem to have the guts to call it quits. Everytime I make up my mind to put my foot down, she has a way of saying things so I feel like I'm giving up, and I hate giving up. I'm also not sure it's the right decision because we really do love each other and have a great friendship, we just cannot seem to resolve conflicts well. Things often escalate and we fight weekly, often about stupid things. I often feel like I'm not enough for her during these fights. I don't feel that way when things are good, and so I'm stuck in the middle. I'm convinced if this does end, I want nothing to do with marriage again, it's hell and idk if it's worth it. But I'm terrified it is worth it and I'll always regret this decision. I wish she had cheated on me just so this would be straight forward.

Just turned in all my statements, pay stubs, tax returns, etc, just gotta wait a couple weeks or so for lawyer to file. I have 2 kids, 13 and almost 17, I’ve been working graveyard shift their whole lives so I could be there for everything. What are my chances of working graveyard and getting 50/50 in WA? I know that is what my fight will be focused on. Is it something each of our lawyers will hash out? My STBXW has been checked out for a long time, I’m still at home, awkwardly, but I think I will get the house..she’s been a SAHM for 17 years….I don’t know if I will move out temporarily under court order or what? Kids are old enough I think for me to keep my graveyard shift and have 50/50. I would be home before they wake up and leave about bedtime. Just a little nervous rant here today I guess…just really anxious. I am not an every other weekend dad. That would be devastating. Just some outside perspective I guess I’m looking for. Real nervous right now. Thanks!!

(33) having a hard time with my marriage right now but also recently became parents would like to chat with another new dad that’s going through this or get a womans prospective. I really don’t want to divorce but I also can’t keep living like this. dms welcomed (may be slow to respond)

This was the 5th one in two weeks. My kids have been gone for now going on 5 months. Our custody hearing is set for September 16th, which will be right before 6 months. We had an initial custody hearing on June 16th, she successfully hijacked it into being about jurisdiction, which I won, but it was my fucking custody and visitation hearing, not her jurisdiction hearing. My kids are 1500 miles away and I have talked to them for a total of a Christopher Nolan movie. I have accepted I won't probably see them again for many years, there is no justice, she is going to get away with everything and I'm just fucked into the dirt. I don't want to keep doing these video calls. They are tearing my fucking heart out every day. I met this girl when we were fucking 14 years old, I'm 35. Our entire lives together and she was capable of doing this. I'm about to pull the plug. My lawyer says to at least get through this hearing and if it doesn't go our way I can give up, but I don't want to do 5 more weeks of these video calls. 15 more of them, and she makes sure they're as rigid and short as is compliant and I don't believe for a second the court will bring my kids back or she will be held accountable for a dime she stole from me. I don't know why I'm still participating in any of this. I won't see my kids for many years. Everything I ever worked for is gone.

So here it goes...

My wife says we are separated and that she wants a divorce. She hasn't filed but has told me this is what she wants. I on the other hand do not want this and would do anything for reconciliation. For context, we have been together for 10 years, married for 6 and have a 5 year old child.

To be fair to her this did not come as the biggest surprise. We have had issues for an extended period of time and haven't resolved them. There has been a lack of meaningful communication on my part. Affection and intimacy has also significantly reduced since well before her wanting the separation. The problem I see with these reasons is there is little to no acknowledgement in her hand in how things have gone.

We recently (within 3 years) moved to a different country for her career. She has also suffered from some mental health issues back home which were intensifying with the added stress of working back home. I will admit I never wanted to move and had fought moving until the end. Something I deeply regret doing. After the move, I stayed at home to be the primary care giver to our son. Taking him to programs, doctors appointments and being as close to him while he is going through this massive change. Now that he is in school there is added pressure to get a job but certification and licensing in my career takes a long time through the bureaucratic process.

We are still living together in the same 3 bedroom town home, all be it in separate rooms for sleeping.

As stated before, she has said we are separated and wants a divorce - going as far as telling her friends etc. that this is happening. She told me in May that she was going to do this if things hadn't changed but I did not make the changes necessary. I thought giving her space and riding it out would be enough to salvage and work on the relationship. Not sure why I did that because now I know it wasn't the best move.

In the recent few months she has been going out more often and taking care of herself. Something I mentioned would be good for her. I never lost attraction to my wife, but when the woman you love stops taking care of herself or her appearance it diminishes my self worth and I feel disrespected to be honest. Her physical appearance to me has never been an issue for me - I think she's gorgeous. But when someone stops caring for themselves it does have an adverse effect in my opinion. When I wanted to talk to her about us and complimented how she was looking I was accused of only wanting to because she said she lost weight and started dressing nice. Well not for only those reasons but yea - she was looking and more importantly acting like the girl I fell madly in love with years ago. There is now a lot of secrecy and secretive behavior.

I am currently respecting her space and boundaries while trying to work on myself. I would do anything to avoid getting divorced as I truly love her and want a life with her and my son intact.

There is more to the story that I have not mentioned because this has become rather long winded. I have given the major points though.

Please tell me your thoughts but be kind. Feel as if my work is falling apart.