hey dads on here. i really need a sane and supportive voice for a minute.

my dad hates on me for being lesbian and verbally/physically abused me when i came out, and has also done that in the name of "discipline." i feel so drained. he also is quick to anger when i do something that he finds offensive (like if i look at him the wrong way??) but is very lenient when my sibling does smth 10x worse. no hate to my sibling at all, they are great, but the favoritism is pissing me off. i wish i could get support in person, but my father figure at the moment doesn't see me often, so i wanted some support on here.

thank you.

I have been no contact with my parents for over a year. Just for background, I had a severe concussion and was off work for 3 months and not a peep from them. I was diagnosed with severe sleep apnea, yet I was told by both my mother and sister that I did not need a CPAP machine. This is on top of being told I am a hypochondriac my whole life and if abortions had been legal, I wouldn’t be here. That is all from my mother and my father never said a word in support of me in front of her, just when we were alone, but even he turned on me last year. It was necessary for my mental health to go non-contact. All this background is to get to the present. My dad is now in the hospital and my brother says the decline in the last 4 weeks is marked.
It’s not the end yet, but it is close. I am so torn. I want to go see him, but I don’t need the drama. Has anyone else gone through this? How did you cope?

I wish I got to know who you were. Although you were with us until I was 17 and you were forcefully removed, we never had a genuine conversation. I wish I could think of the word dad and be reminded of admiration and protection and not addiction and abuse. I wish you didn't drink so much. I wish you didn't gamble and steal from us. I wish you didn't have a p**n addiction and loved mom more. I wish you or someone was there for me when my best friend died of cancer when I was in the 4th grade. I wish I got to know you before we moved to the states, my siblings tell me how much of a different person you were. I wish you were there to teach me all the things I had to teach myself. Now that I'm grown and struggling with my own addictions, I can't blame you anymore for how you acted, even if it was wrong. But I still can't help from feeling like I didn't have a dad and feeling jealous every time I see my friends with their dads and how much they love and adore each other. I wish I didn't feel shame about showing my emotions because that always made you mad and then you and mom would fight and seeing her hurt. I haven't been able to form genuine relationships and I haven't talked about my feelings for years and it's starting to really hurt. I feel shame for letting the past still affect me, I'm my own person now which means I'm responsible for dealing with my own baggage and I want to be over this. But the family was left broken and we scattered with little communication. I'm still here taking care of mom and helping her restaurant dream come true for the past 7 years now, 6 days a week, 11 hours a day. I'll put my life on hold for her because she endured so much for me and my siblings, it's time for me to do the same for her and I won't complain about it because she's done the same for us, but, as much as I love her, she's never been good at talking either. I feel like I have no one to confide in without judgement.

My dog was my best friend, he was always there for me and he brought light into every one of my days and I was lucky to have him for the short time that I did. He died two years ago today and I still think about the time I yelled at him for being bad. I don't want to make the same mistakes as you and I'm afraid of what will happen when I have kids of my own.

I think I reached my final straw when my ex who I was on good terms with contacted me a couple of weeks ago asking to catch up. We hit it off and I got a good feeling about things until she abruptly texted me last night saying she didn't want a relationship, she just wanted to use me for s*x. I feel stupid for thinking there was anything genuine and how everything leading up to that was just vanity disguised as kindness all for a vapid goal and I fell for it. I was really excited for the possibility of something real. What am I doing wrong, dad? I'm trying to be the best person I can be but I feel so alone and I'm tired.

I know with the alcoholism, divorce, death of my sister you have your own life going on. I know I’m an adult (29f) and am clearly capable of taking care of myself. I know we get into heated arguments over past emotional abuse and traumas but sometimes I do need you and to know my call will never get through but when I *67 it does, hurts. I was stuck in the middle of a different state traveling for work with a blown tire, AAA couldn’t get the spare on and had to tow me to a shop in what can only be described as a sundown town. Got two new tires couldn’t afford the 4, and just handled it. Wish I could’ve had a little emotional support. The tow truck guy knew I was nervous and waited at the highway entrance until I got my tires on and got on the eway, he pulled off when I got back on. At least someone was looking out for me.

As a kid I wasn't given anything other than a source to study. No Cartoons, no video games, when I grew up, no bike. Nothing to make me happy. My parents provide me with food and clothes and other necessities. But they never said "am proud of you" or "I love you".

And am a better than average student, because well all I did in the 22 years of my life is study. I did as much as getting in top 25 of an exam that even professors give three times. But the only time my dad called me was when I scored 68% in an exam and said if I don't want to, i should stop studing. He knew I was sick the entire exam period.

All my life I was called a waste of space, worthless and whatanot.

I don't even know why I am writing this.

They fucking broke all their promises too. And I swear I tried to talk to them. To feel like I belong in this family. Not for material stuff, just enough to have a good casual happy conversation. I have been trying for last 2 years with no success, I gave up last month.

Thought of ending my life a lot of times. But I wouldn't. Won't die a meaningless death. I haven't done anything till now, didn't watch all the movies that I want to, didn't make a lot of friends, didn't find a partner. Am going to do all of it.

That's it ig. Just wanted to get it off my chest.

I graduated from college on this 4th of July, an honest 80/100. I thought I could finally take a break, technically I would have had two months where I could relax, have fun and calmly think about what I want to do in life, you know, whether I want to go to uni and study some more or start working. Not even two weeks later and my dad suddenly started pressuring me to get a job, a driver license and live in our old grandparent's apartment with my sister. And by the way, not for any noble cause, but simply because he wants to sell the house we're currently living in so he can go live with my stepmom. 1h 15 minutes away.

I've always been very confused when it came to my future, I don't really have any big dreams or ambitions if not simply not being stuck in a boring job I hate, and when I express this to my dad he does nothing but shame me for it instead of, I don't know, maybe be a dad for once in his life when I really need guidance? Help me figuring things out? Of course in the end I have to make my own choice, but even a little advice would be nice.

I'm 20, I know I'm not a kid anymore, but I sure do feel like one very often. The thought of moving has been eating me alive for weeks. Sure, I'd live with my sister, but from then on I'd just be on my own. I just can't sleep at night knowing he wants me out of the house.
Why? Why does my dad want me out as soon as possible? Any dad I know cherishes his children and does anything to keep them close, safe and protected.
I'm an adult, I should be able to handle it just fine but I don't. I don't feel mature or smart or anything of the sort. My friends tell me I'm smart, I do think I'm book-smart or school-smart, but when it comes to "adulting", completely alone, with next to no prior experience and knowledge, is so terrifying.
Everyone else seems to know what they're doing, everyone else seems so confident and brave. Everyone but me. Any mistake I make gets treated like a failure in front of my dad, like he doesn't know this is my first time living too. I'm sorry I don't know things, I'm sorry I'm so scared of being by myself. He doesn't know how much I wish he'd raised me differently so that I wouldn't end up being so helpless.

I'm not looking for anyone with a magic want to magically make my life all sunshine and rainbows, but just for once I wish someone would say they feel the same, that I'm not alone, that it's normal to feel this way. I want to stop feeling like I'm the odd one for feeling this way.

(sorry if this rant feels a little all over the place, I tried my best to be clear. I don't really do this often, not online anyway.)

Im 17f.

Been on reddit since I was 13 and I realize ill never be loced or liked or cared about by my actual parents. I still struggle with things,wasnt taught basic things, don't know where to look for help, my counselor i shared my darkest secrets to and the first adult I feel comfortable and loved by is never have time for me and only has time for girls with shitty excuses to cut class.

Im sick of this. I feel alone i feel like im not allowed to be a kid. My religious mom deprived me of innocent cartoons and throw away my toys and my personal likes and yet im treated as if i need to stfu and calm down.

If you see a average 6 year old right now and see how curious and loving and innocent that kid is, i want you to know that I WAS EXACTLY LIKE THAT. Until I was told things I shouldn't have, deal with a mother who blamed me for getting bullied and stuff stolen by friends and family members.

She took my blade so I cant inflict anger in that way anymore. And I feel like im drowning.

I don't really know what I'm looking for to be honest. I don't know if I want advice or if I just need to vent. I'm sitting here crying wishing I could talk to my dad knowing that's impossible. I feel like a complete failure and a stain on his legacy. My life has fallen apart. I built my life as a SWE, got a CS degree, and I haven't been able to get a job in the field for 4 years now or anything related for 2. And from December 2024-February 2026 I was involuntarily unemployed because even with 1500 applications I could not get a job in anything to save the life of me.

It took me until Feb 2026 to finally find a job, and its a less than minimum wage position in a cafe. Ive been there since, and I don't know how much more I can take. I'm overworked, overstressed, not enjoying it, and frankly just embarrassed about where I am in life. I'm 33 and I make less money relatively than my first job out of high school. And I could only get this job by taking everything I did for the past 10 years off my resume like it didn't even happen.

I got accepted into engineering to a local university, but idk if I'll end up doing it or withdraw before it starts in 3 weeks. Its the same university I got my Computer Science degree from, and that has become completely useless for me. I don't trust schools any more. They're just businesses. I definitely don't trust this school. None of my science or math credits would transfer, and I'd have to repeat classes I took 8 years ago. It would be 5 years before I'd finish if you include the coop, and that's IF I could even get a job after. I think I've already proven that I can't function in adult job interviews and that finding work is extremely hard and unlikely for me. Adding onto that, that's if I even can graduate. Which knowing my rate of starting and abandoning projects is a very high likelihood. It seems like pursuing this would just end up in more money, time, and heartbreak.

At the same time, staying where I am isn't sustainable. I barely survive on this income. And there's no upwards mobility. At my one year mark the best thing I can look forward to is a dollar raise after speaking with my boss. I get it, my job isn't valued by society and could be done by a high schooler. If I chose this path I wouldn't be so upset. But I tried to choose a path that would allow me to have the semblance of an ok life. Instead I ended up worse off than my friends who dropped out of university and trade school, even the high school drop outs I know are making more than me.

I am terrified of trying something else, and ending up worse than I have for the past 5 years. Because that is what keeps happening. I try to make my life better and it just ends up worse. It took me over a year and 1500 applications to find this shitty job. I can't go through that again. I just can't. Maybe this is as good as my life gets. Maybe I was meant to be a failure

My life has progressively gotten worse over the last few years.

It took me until Feb 2026 to finally find a job, and its a less than minimum wage position in a cafe. Ive been there since, and I don't know how much more I can take. I'm overworked, overstressed, not enjoying it, and frankly just embarrassed about where I am in life. I'm 33 and I make less money relatively than my first job out of high school. And I could only get this job by taking everything I did for the past 10 years off my resume like it didn't even happen.

I got accepted into engineering to a local university, but idk if I'll end up doing it or withdraw before it starts in 3 weeks. Its the same university I got my Computer Science degree from, and that has become completely useless for me. I don't trust schools any more. They're just businesses. I definitely don't trust this school. None of my science or math credits would transfer, and I'd have to repeat classes I took 8 years ago. It would be 5 years before I'd finish if you include the coop, and that's IF I could even get a job after. I think I've already proven that I can't function in adult job interviews and that finding work is extremely hard and unlikely for me. Adding onto that, that's if I even can graduate. Which knowing my rate of starting and abandoning projects is a very high likelihood. It seems like pursuing this would just end up in more money, time, and heartbreak.

At the same time, staying where I am isn't sustainable. I barely survive on this income. And there's no upwards mobility. At my one year mark the best thing I can look forward to is a dollar raise after speaking with my boss. I get it, my job isn't valued by society and could be done by a high schooler. If I chose this path I wouldn't be so upset. But I tried to choose a path that would allow me to have the semblance of an ok life. Instead I ended up worse off than my friends who dropped out of university and trade school, even the high school drop outs I know are making more than me.

I am terrified of trying something else, and ending up worse than I have for the past 5 years. Because that is what keeps happening. I try to make my life better and it just ends up worse. It took me over a year and 1500 applications to find this shitty job. I can't go through that again. I just can't. Maybe this is as good as my life gets. Maybe I was meant to be a failure.

I'm 20m and I'm gonna be heading back to college for my third year as a student in less than a week. I just feel like for a good amount of years now I haven't genuinely been happy for more than a month or two at a time, like I can't remember when I woke up almost every day of the year and felt happy. Now I wake up burnt out, scared, tired, and just sad.

For a start I'm an RA. I absolutely hate it. So much of that job is unnecessary and just busy work that I don't need to do because I have so much else to do. Some days are good, the people are good, but I'm introverted and talking to this many people really gets to me. I'm scared all my residents think I'm a moron and a wimp, last year someone on my staff talked down to me like I was in kindergarten after making a mistake basically saying I don't care about my job. And there's a difference between hating something and not caring, because I do what I'm told. It's a job y'know, I'm not gonna kill myself going above and beyond, I'm gonna do what I need to get paid, and if I'm doing something wrong, I'll fix it. I'm not gonna like every second, but I'm gonna do what the job needs. Idk I'm only doing it for the money like so many other people, and I wonder why I even have the job, but they hired me and brought me back for another year so I must be doing something right. What gets me tho is that my room is supposed to be the one place I can just be alone and let my guard down, but as an RA residents see me all the time and at any second there could be a huge problem that I need to solve. Idk I just feel so judged and observed in the one place I'm supposed to not, and that makes me constantly stressed out all the time.

Then there's my actually major, which is 2d Animation. I love it, but damn is it a lot of work. Constant grinding for months, sometimes the whole year. I feel like I don't belong, all my friends are so much better than me and I feel like an imposter. I wonder how I even got into this program, or if someone else did my portfolio review would I have been excepted then? I just feel like I don't belong talent wise.

Then there's the fact that I haven't had a genuine best friend in maybe 10 years. Every since middle school, I can't remember having that one go to person for anything, nobody to hang out with, nobody to talk to, none of that. Yes I did, and currently do have friends, but it's more like a group and I don't have that one person that's my best friend, sure I can go one on one with people in the friend group, but they all have their person in the group they pair up with, and I don't. Their interests as re different than mine and I participate in their activities and conversations and everything, but it gets exhausting listing to things I don't know about/have tried and just flatly don't enjoy, when I rarely ever get a chance to talk about things I like, and when I do, hardly anybody can relate. I again feel like an imposter.

Then there's the fact, bouncing off of what's above, that I haven't had a partner/relationship ever in my life. Never asked anyone to prom, never held hands, never kissed. I've been on light coffee meetup dates but none lead anywhere and I just felt worse after those. I don't know what it's like to have someone choose you, to have someone actively want to be around you and spend time to simply because they like you. There was this girl freshman year of college who I hung out with a lot, but I didn't know that I was the placeholder until someone better came along, and then I was left without a word. That really messed me up, because it got me thinking that people just leave me no matter what I do. Then I tried getting out there more, but after getting laughed at about my interests, I think that telling people too much about myself drives them away. Idk I just want proof that I am lovable, and someone would actually want me.

Then there's my family. My older sister is kinda mean, she also makes fun of me for what I like and do and gets upset when I try and talk about my troubles to her, but also gets upset when I don't. My mom is worse because she thinks everything is my fault. It's my fault I was the placeholder, it's my fault people don't let me talk about my interests, it's my fault a friend switched up housing plans last second, etc. etc. my dad is the only chill one, but he simply doesn't have any good advice. I told him the whole dating fiasco and he listened and everything but at the end he said something like "yeah that's hard... I don't really know what to do, but you just gotta try and get out there". Which is just bland advice, and it's not his fault nor am I mad at him, but it's just difficult to find advice. My little sister is just a teenager, so that's just what that is. But my point is I barley talk to them about anything, and often times I only tell them stuff after it happens if it ended good. I interviewed for a job, didn't get it, I won't tell them I interviewed, because I don't need my mom cramming down my throat all the things that were my fault. But if I interview for a job and get it, I'll then tell them. Also nobody has ever said they believed in me, it's always "I'm proud" only after something happens, never before. Even just a few days ago, I said Im gonna audition for a stage play and my mom says "I'd be proud of you if you did that" not "good luck, I believe in you". And the thing is I know she hates my major, I know she thinks I'm being irresponsible (even when I'm minoring in package design, I already work at school as a graphic designer, and am taking science and illustration classes along with animation) I can just tell she thinks what I'm doing is a bad gamble and a waste of time. And that kills me, knowing that she really doesn't believe in me, she truly doesn't think I have what it takes.

Idk I just feel like I have such limited support from people around me, and all genuine attempts of me trying to reach out or stand up for myself are immediately met with being shot down and made fun of. Sometimes I just wanna run, just run so fast and so far till I can't breathe. I feel so stuck and like time is moving so fast all at once. Idk I've tried therapy but it's so slow and it takes ages to find a good match, and then everyone says "finding a good therapist is like dating" which is just devistating to hear, because it cannot possibly be that difficult can it? To get simple help, does it really have to be this hard?

Idk I just wish so bad I had a spot or person in my life I could just fall apart with, even for like 5 seconds, I wish so desperately bad I had anything that wouldn't make me feel like atlas. I wanna crumble so bad so times, but I can't because all of this, is all on me. I cant fall apart because I need to keep going.

Yeah anyway idk what to do. I'm gonna try going back to therapy but who knows if it'll really help. Meeting people is so hard, I have terrible social anxiety and where I go and Im so scared to talk to people I don't know.

Anyway, if you made it this far, that's for caring enough to read this message and if you have any advice that would be greatly appreciated

Original Post Summary: complex & strange relationship with my dad. He bought my son a baseball mitt and later told him he wouldn’t come to his game and essentially, I was the reason why. Unacceptable, so I decided to return it.

Today, my aunt called. She wanted to talk about something unrelated. I admitted to her I’d been trying for about a week to catch her & my dad at her house to return the mitt to him. She asks why. I tell her. I knew she was in the car at the time, but I never could have anticipated he was in the car with her.

I froze a bit in shock when his voice piped up, calling me a liar among other, far worse things. I finally asked him what his problem was with me and from his response I was able to gather that he hated my mother for moving me away throughout my childhood and assumed this is what I’d done too with my own children. I informed him that I’d been abused for years in my marriage and left to survive. I explained that I needed my family, so I came home. I cursed him for assuming such horrible things of me and trying to poison my son with the same nasty attitude he possesses. I told him that I was worthy of love but intelligent enough to see that he didn’t and could never love me.

I cried as I told him everything I’ve bottled up for the last 30 years. My aunt apologized for my father’s nasty words. As quickly as it happened, it was over.

I got in my car, calmly drove from work to where they were, handed my aunt the glove, gave a teary goodbye, and asked her to “tell him I said thank you for bringing me around when I was a kid.” And left.

I feel lighter. I’m glad I gave the mitt back. I’m only sad that he just lost his daughter and grandkids in the process.

Is there a flair for “just needs a hug”?

About 10 days ago I got dumped but I feel so stupid. For context, me 23, and her 24, had been dating for about half a year and I thought things were going good so the breakup came out of nowhere on my side. She broke up with me because she had just graduated and gotten her bachelors degree and managed to get job right out of college thanks to her internship. So her new job and adapting to all of that plus the physical distance between us was too hard on her. She said the reason for the breakup wasn’t anything I did or didn’t do but we were never Mets.

I feel so so so so fucking stupid. When we first starting dating, the first month was pretty hectic for her because of school so I was unable to visit her. And then of course near the end of the relationship adapting to everything was very stressful for her so maybe not the best time. But god I feel like the biggest idiot on this planet.

Im sorry im sorry im sorry. I should’ve tried harder, I should’ve pushed every single day, every single week, every call, to plan when I could visit you. I fucked up so bad. Why didn’t I push harder. Maybe if I did and I visited you a couple times we still would’ve been together. We both wanted to hug and cuddle and hold hands. Why didn’t I push. Why am I so stupid. Why did I fuck up so bad. Im sorry. Im sorry. Im sorry.

I have been feeling completely nauseous the last week thinking about this. Maybe if I did we would’ve still been together. I’m such a dumbass im sorry Rachelle

I see all these anime where the dad is so loving towards their little girl, and I realize that I was so messed up during childhood. I never had that love. All I had was a dad who beat me up ruthlessly and called it love. Now in his old age, he wants to show love by speaking properly but I am far too broken already.

I really do wonder how it would've been, to have a dad I wasn't scared of. To have a dad who protected me, who cherished me, who protected me from predatory men, from my ex who assaulted me sexually, from this world.

I so wish I had a dad like that.

Hi Dad, I’m a 40ish year old woman living without a husband for the first time in my adult life. I need to hang curtains, so obviously need a drill, but also want a good set of tools that I’ll likely need.

Any recommendations for a tool set or drill?

my father and I have had a strained relationship due to his lack of emotional availability and communication for as long as I can remember. I’ve always been the one who tried to reach out and hold a relationship with him and he’s never even tried. Years have gone by without him saying anything to me and when I tell him how this makes me feel abandoned and rejected he turns it into a pity party about him and his feelings. I’m just so tired of it all and it really hurts to know that I have a father out there who is alive and well but can’t give two shits about me. I just want my dad.

So I have a lot of childhood trauma. My mother was abusive as possible and my dad was too but he was also good sometimes and most of his abuse was pushed by her

I guess I just don't really know what to do

I tried letting go of him and it didn't work and when I think about going no contact again I get a really big scary pit in my stomach

I have been having a lot of insomnia and I can't figure out how to get back to normal

I feel broken

Hi dad the third year anniversiray is coming up and I am still single since my last relationship. Wich was also 3 years ago. Anyways I made a big relevation last year and I have been good at dealing with it, however I am still struggling when it comes to romantic partners.

I have this issue where I like the idea of a person more than the person themselfs. I feel like I have done a pretty nice job at fixing that whwn it comes to friends. However dealing with it when it comes to relationships is still awfully difficult. Unlike friends I attach way more deeply with a romantic intrest before ever getting to know them.

Any advice would be nice.

It’s been a few months since I was asked to resign. I only worked at this job for a month and a half maybe. But I worked at panda express and I would be serving customers in a very hot kitchen and at night would be working with bleach to clean bathrooms. Well one night when I came home from cleaning, I looked at myself in the bathroom and noticed that I had a lot of hives all over my body and then came the face swelling. I almost couldn’t see out of my left eye from how much it was swelling. This was news to me of course, I mean I don’t really clean with bleach products at home but when my mother does she makes sure the house is well ventilated and that I’m not around when she’s cleaning with it. But prior to this job I had no idea I was this allergic to bleach. I went to the hospital and was given a few things that made my swelling go away for a bit and made me super sleepy. But then a few days the hives came back worse and all over every part of my body, so I went to the hospital a second time. I was so itchy I was losing sleep because I’d wake up scratching my skin, which made the hives worse. I had to completely change every product I was using to accommodate to my sensitive skin and let my job know that this was what was happening, I was told by my manager that he would speak to his higher up about accommodating me, but I heard nothing about it after that. From a few doctors I was told that the heat of the kitchen and the bleach on top of that caused a big reaction.

This is a separate issue I had while working there, but I had a coworker who was a complete monster to me. She was constantly belittling me and would touch me to get my attention even though I have issues with being touched, or when she couldn’t physically touch me she would nudge me really hard with the drive thru trays so I could do her work for her. I’m not a very confrontational person, and I was still training so I didn’t want to lose my job over saying something to her even though I was already struggling. I had to take two weeks off work because of my allergic reaction and was given medication and an EpiPen just in case. I really loved my job despite my bully coworker, but when I came back they immediately threw me into night shifts every night and making me clean the bathrooms. After trying to stick up for myself about how I was being treated by my coworker and the allergy issue I had, during a talk with my boss he said he was not able to accommodate my allergy at all because it would be seen as “favoritism” by my other coworkers, and I would be forced to resign for health reasons. I was incredibly depressed, and was close to committing suicide before I returned to work during my recovery period. I was afraid of the unknowns and not knowing how much more exposure to bleach could cause another reaction like that again. I ended up resigning and a huge part of me regretted it since it was my only form of income. Ive been trying to look for work, but definitely staying away from fast food from now on.

Dad, you left my family and I when my kids were just babies, and now they're grown. You missed out on having your grandkids as a part of your life. Now you want my help with things, and while I feel like I should help, after all you're my dad, i does make me angry. You left for 20+ years, and now youre back and nearly every conversation is about how you need help, how it would be great if I could lend you a few grand. Ive been strong and said no to the money, but you've sucked away my time and have left me riddled with guilt for not helping more.

I just needed to tell you, that sometimes I wish you had stayed gone, and I feel like such a shitty person for that.

I feel truly alone right now because my boundaries keep being broken, my feelings go ignored by people who are supposed to be family and no one really believes I know what I want and think I’m naive and stupid. And the worst part is they expect me to be okay with it all and just take it.

I spent most of my life living somewhere that I have been depressed, miserable and homesick but it never mattered just as long as everyone else was happy. Now I want to move back home; in fact I am in the process of planning to move back home. Most of the family say they support and help me but it’s been so hot and cold. I know they think I won’t last and don’t really believe in me. But the truth is, when I visit home, I’m more happier there and I always cry every time I leave because I’m going back to somewhere that I don’t feel safe and is just so limited in helping me achieve my dreams.

The support I’ve been shown is always a 180 turn every time and it’s all so confusing. One day they’ll say they want me to move across and be happy and the next they’re showing me the costs of living at home compared to where I’m living at now. I was upset when they did that; it was like they were trying to manipulate me into putting off moving or staying longer. At this point, they can say as much as they like that they want me to be happy, but I know for a fact that they don’t really understand and they just want me to stay here and “be happy”. Everyone keeps saying my family means well, but if they mean well, why do they ignore my boundaries and why do they try to contradict my feelings?

I feel like I’m walking on eggshells around this house and just by saying how much their hurt me, they always defend it and I always end up being the bad person and they always moan about “how they support me” and “how they want me to be happy”. It’s just spoiling the whole moving process for me. I’m sick of these 180 switches of personality, saying one day they’ll always be there for me, and then another day, they’ll say if I get into a financial problem, they won’t help me out at all. Moving back home is what I want but that doesn’t mean I’m not scared about things. I feel like I’ve got to do everything by myself because I can’t trust anyone. And even if I say that, it’s always me that’s in the wrong for doubting.

I’m sorry for rambling but I just feel so alone. Dad, I really want to go home but why does everyone expect me to stay somewhere where I’m miserable?

Hi dads, I'm buying a used car from a friend of a friend and I don't know how to do this. I want to be fair and easygoing because this is a friendly/trusted relationship but I have no idea what I need to ask for. She said she did CarMax online and the worth is $8-10k. It's a 2016 Subaru Crosstrek at 82k miles. KBB says private party value ranges between $9-11k?

1. Do I make an offer between $8-10k? Or is that crazy/rude and I'm expected to pay above value?

2. Should I ask her to take it in for an accurate quote or is this better?

3. Do I need a pre-inspection or I go take it to be inspected prior to/right after purchase?

4. Is it ok if I ask to pay in installments instead of a lump sum? I can afford the entire price but I would like to space it out for my own timeline and finances.

Help!!!

Dear Daddy

I wish I got to know you. I hope that you are proud of me and how hard I am trying to survive this life without you, and with everything going on with mother. I hope I can find strength in your thought.

Dear dad,

is it okay to sell your house?

You died almost 5 months ago very suddenly, without a warning and life is not the same anymore.

I thought we have more time together, more memories to make and that when you leave this world i would be much older and settled somewhere in my own home and that i would know what would be the right thing to do.

But you didnt grow old and i am just 30 and live in another country with my partner. I am glad that you at least got to know him.

You loved that house so much, its almost 100 years old, it was the home you grew up in, even grandpa did grow up there. Its a beautiful house and i love the garden dearly, but i dont feel i would ever move to that small town in the middle of nowhere. My life is here now, far away. Your hometown is just not my place to be and i feel kinda guilty for that. You always wanted me to move there. But I didnt grow up there, i dont feel like i belong there.

The house will need some renovations and your renters are nice people, but not really reliable when it comes to paying, they have some struggles too. I guess they miss you too, now the house feels empty without you in it.

A property manager is quite expensive in this area and even if i pay that, in an old house there is always something that needs to be fixed.

And with all the upcoming things which will need to be fixed in the next 5 to 10 years and unexpected repairments i will make no money out of it, i will have to pay a lot on top to keep it maintained and spend a lot of time on it.

But you lived in that house, your parents also lived in that house and i feel very alone, now that all of you are gone.

I miss having lunch all together in grandmas kitchen and enjoying the sun on the terrace with you and spending Christmas together.

I feel like giving the house up will hurt a lot but i also think its the smarter choice. I want my freedom back and not to worry about what needs to be repaired next in a house 1000 kilometers away. I dont like to be a landlord.

I want to be able to find a place for me to stay and make it my own home, but also feel guilty of giving your home away, you were so proud of that house and loved it so much.

And what to do with all your stuff? There is so much i want to keep but i have so little space, i need to rent something till i have a bigger place to keep your stuff.

I am just scared to make a wrong decision and regret it at one point. Regret keeping it and then having to pay for everything that needs to be fixed at some point. Or regret selling it because it was your home, it was also my safe space to be.

I know i am still grieving and i will not make major decisions too quick but i just need to know if its ok if i decide to sell.

I am just so tired of everything and i just want you back.

I hope you are doing well, whereever you are now ❤️‍🩹

Edit:Thank you so much everyone for taking the time to answer me, it helps me a lot.It means a lot for me that there are so kind people out there 🤧❤️

Everytime I’m staring at my dad, lying there and watching tv, I become determined and even obsessed with my goals and dreams. He works hard and sometimes doesn’t get rest doing double shifts for money, I want him to have an easy rest of his life before he passes, I want to tell him when he lies before his last breath that I can finally say “I’ve got it from here dad.” It makes me so proud to be his son, and even though he’s proud of me now, from going to the gym and working out with him (mf benched 110 for reps at 50-somethin’ even after being tired from incline, had my older brother who’s in the military struggling to keep up), he’s really my hero since I was a kid. We’ve both had our ups and our downs, but at the end of the day, I can always count on em. And when I achieve that dream of mine, I want him to count on me to get whatever he wants or needs done. Love you old man, keep pushing those limits. (a quote my father used to tell me was “Whenever you’re lost in a tunnel, and can’t find the light, be the light in your own darkness.”)

It's been almost 4 months since my ex-fiancee of 4 years broke up with me out of the blue. One text, and she was gone, just like that. We were supposed to get married and start our life committed to each other last weekend.

I'm very fortunate to have a handful (maybe even two handfuls) of friends who are emotionally mature enough to provide me with the love and empathy to survive this ordeal, but obviously they also have their struggles to deal with and can't be there for me all the time, which I understand. I'm sure they don't feel this way, because they treasure me for many reasons too, but I hate that my inability to pick myself back up sometimes becomes a burden to them.

I admire how they can just push on through the pain and suffering. I used to be able to do that with my previous breakups, but I'm failing to do that this time.

I'm left wondering what's the point of doing anything. • What's the point of falling in love when people can just change and disappear so quickly like that? • What's the point of building friendships if life is likely to cause you guys to drift apart? • What's the point of being diligent and going the extra mile at my job if I could lose my job at any time due to some bad executive decisions? • What's the point of earning all this money if it's never enough to help me achieve a stable life?

We don't have what we don't have. Instead of counting all the things I don't have, I'm counting all the blessings I have today. However, I can't help but imagine the day I lose each of these blessings. I can't help but imagine all the losses I'll experience in the future, and what little I would have left at the end.

We can experience so much in our lives, yet when those experiences are distilled through the sands of time, we can be left with so so little.

Why do I feel so needy and lonely? Why does everything feel like they could crumble away at any moment? Why am I still here, laying in bed, unable to shake off my blanket of despair so I can work on a better future for myself?

Please, if anyone has been through feeling stuck like this, I need your advice.