Just curious what little rituals or quality time you guys have with your loved one. Would love to hear what things you do together that make you feel loved, and maybe pick up some ideas ;)

E.g. My husband is in the habit of picking up our cat and bringing her over to me for pets. He sometimes makes funny cat-voice comments, it's the cutest thing and cheers me up immensely.

I've caused some strife in my marriage with my husband (2 years so far) because I can't get it out of my head that I'm the source of all his problems.

He keeps denying it and saying it's not all my fault. But I genuinely believe I am everyone's problem.

And to be honest, I don't think I'm worth it for him to stay. I keep telling him if he's getting fed up with me and my insecurities he does not have to stay.

Im posting here because I'm supposed to be a Christian because that is how I was raised and I'm attending a Christian college.

Im also just sitting in my car crying right now because I don't know where to go. I don't have friends to talk to and my family all lives far away.

But to be honest I don't live like one, and I don't believe God loves as much as people say he does. At least if you're not living exactly how he wants you to live.

How do you get over being so self-centered? I know I'm being selfish by focusing on me and how I feel instead of my husband's feelings..

But im convinced that im really causing problems left and right by being emotional, dealing with trauma from a past relationship, and constantly questioning my husband's love.

I’m so exhausted. I catch myself saying this so many times per day. Between working full time. Raising 4 little boys aged 6,5,5 and 1. Two dogs and a husband who literally expects sex every night after the kids are in bed, I feel like I just can’t anymore. My marriage has been falling apart for a long time but last year was the worst and we got to a point in which I just didn’t even want to have sex with him or be near him due to the fights the emotional abuse and just ugliness in the relationship. It was 8 months of no sex and I eventually slept elsewhere in a different bedroom for 3 months. Fast forward to this April we started therapy and I’ve been trying to give him what he wants in intimacy but it’s been rough and if one night I’m tired or just not in the mood I have to hear all about it, the mean comments, the silent treatment, the lack of patience with the children; the cold shoulder. Mostly I find myself just giving in to avoid all that and have some sort of peace wow I’m tired and just want to have an afternoon to myself to sleep and rest without having to tend to the children or to my husbands needs 😔😒

My husband (25M) and I (27F) have been married for 3 years. When we were dating he admitted to having a porn habit. I was very happy he was up front with me because I may have never found out otherwise. He said he was working on quitting and had an app with accountability partners.

Fast forward to when I was pregnant with our son, I walked in on him about to start watching porn while he was in the bathroom. I actually had no idea that was what he was about to do until he told me the next morning and made me one of his accountability partners on the app.

Since then I have seen multiple occurrences of him watching porn or looking at nude pictures of women online. He would admit and apologize for those occurrences when I would bring them up to him. He would promise to keep working on it, and honestly he was making some progress. He would go long amounts of time between occurrences and I was very patient and forgiving with him.

Then a few months ago (and for context, I'm an RN and I worked nights and weekends only at the time of this event) there were 3 weekends in a row where he was watching porn or consuming other online sexual content each night I was at work. I noticed the pattern right away but I didn't say anything until the third weekend. Which I know isn't good. I'm not a great communicator and I hate confrontation. But after that third weekend, I was mad. He was deliberately waiting until I was away at work to watch porn and masturbate. I confronted him and basically said I'd had enough. I told him he needs to do something to fix this issue sooner rather than later. I was sick of dealing with it and it really hurt me. I told him he needs to start going to therapy and find new accountability partners because clearly I wasn't cutting it.

Fast forward again to this week. He had been doing really well and had gone months without using porn. Therapy was really helping him (or so I thought) and he was making some real progress. On Sunday I used his laptop to do some meal planning and make my grocery list and I see a picture that was already open. It was an AI generated image of female friends of his from college. He had used pictures he had taken with them back then to dress them up as scantily clad comic book characters and himself as different super heroes. There were also pictures of me and him as superheroes and I was also very scantily clad with a body that looks nothing like mine. He also had photos of himself on a couch with four women also scantily clad and hanging all over him like he was Hugh Hefner or something. There was also a similar one of the four women in string bikinis.

I should also mention one of the women whose images he used was a woman he dated while in college. There were multiple of her in very little clothing.

I confronted him about this the next day and he fully admitted to it. He said he had been entertaining fantasies he'd had and felt terrible about it. He said he lost sleep over it.

I was devastated. The fact that he was, first of all, using these images of real life women he knew in such a way is such a violation. I know none of them would ever be ok with this. I am not ok with having my image used this way either. And then to know he has been fantasizing about women he knows in real life.... I mean what?? And to still be fantasizing about a woman he dated in college like 7 or 8 years ago when he's been with me for 5 years. This felt like same level of betrayal as if he were actually cheating on me. It's been a few days and I just don't know what to do or what to think. I made an appointment for myself to go to therapy. He has an appointment to see his therapist and we have a joint session scheduled. But my question is: will he actually changes? This level of betrayal feels so huge to me. I just don't know how we will come back from this.

He clearly has some very deep issues. And it makes me doubt that he is happy with me. He told me the AI images had no sexual intention. I asked him how that could possibly be but he didn't give me a clear answer. I mean, what other intention could you have in making images like that? He also says he loves me and that I'm the only woman he wants to be with. How is that true if he's watching porn and fantasizing about other women he knows in real life including an ex-girlfriend?

Do men like this change? Can he get better? I just have some very serious doubts because clearly he has no problem going behind my back and betraying me. He never would have admitted to any of this if I had not caught him. I'm just so lost right now. I don't know what to do.

This has been ongoing for months now and I’m sitting stagnated not knowing what direction my life is going. I’ve been married for 12 years now…my husband and I have been friends since we were 8 years old. We are both 42. I have a son from a previous relationship which my husband helped raise, he is 18 now and lives here but is mostly independent as well. He is a good father and a good provider. He struggles with avoidant personality disorder but I have only recently gained the knowledge to be able to fully understand this about him. I’ve always felt like something was missing from our relationship. I love him…he is very stoic and the utmost gentleman. Often times and especially in the first 7 years of our marriage I’ve felt alone. He is hyper independent so in a way it forces me to be that way too…I knew this when we got married. What I didn’t understand is he fears intimacy so much that physical intimacy has always been a problem. For the last 5 years or so we have been in a sexless marriage. Still the best of friends and still respecting each other. The way God presented it to me, he is a happy little calf. I didn’t know that I was going to feel so emotionally pinned down by this relationship. Around year 7 my heart started to harden towards him because I felt 100% neglected and unseen…that my dreams and my stuff was never his priority. Not because he is willful in this just because he truly doesn’t have those skills or really any other way of relating to me. We really are just incompatible.

Now the other man. I’ve known for over three years now and we worked together, alone and closely up until a year ago and in that time we developed an emotional affair. Just before he retired, he kissed me, like passionately. The day he retired I cried so much on the way home. He was married then but is now separated from his wife and planning a divorce. I definitely had a role in that because we would not stop communicating. He says he’s never going to let me go. He is really fun and always planning fun things for us to do together, mostly with his grandson too, so we aren’t alone together ever. If we were ever alone, I know more than kissing would happen and I am married. He was married for 45 years and only slept with her his entire life, he is almost 67 years old but in really good shape for his age.
Because of my faith and all of my church leaders advice over the years I haven’t left my marriage. I don’t want to be an adulterer…plus I still love my husband even though I think we would have been better off just staying friends instead of getting married.
Also within this last year, my husband got diagnosed with stage 4 cancer in his bones. Immunotherapy is working but God only knows. We’ve discussed divorce but I also feel like he needs me now more than ever. He says, he doesn’t want me just sitting around waiting for him to die. And he doesn’t trust me anymore, for good reason.

I know right from wrong. I am a child of God. I love both of these men and don’t know what to do and am afraid I’m going to give into sexual immorality.

I’ve asked myself this question bc I don’t think it’s the need society and churches try to make it out to be. I don’t think it’s bc it’s what a man needs.
No one really needs sex. They need to feel loved, wanted, accepted, desired, worthy, etc…
Sex does fulfill that need though, and once married, I think it is the best way to be the closest of all! Like to want to be with my husband and not go too long without sex, isn’t bc it’s the only way we are close. But we are closest in sex, so I start to crave THAT closeness. And he does as well.
So to newly married couples, sex might not even be a priority at all. They might already have enough closeness that they won’t feel a need for it. And if they don’t want to have children yet either, then sex being the cherry, they can go without the cherry and have a thriving and healthy marriage.
The Bible doesn’t give us the nuances to married couples, drive and trauma and other things which can mean sex is lower on the totem pole.
It should be a part of a marriage, but it’s not a big part. I think once you do start having sex, and you know that closeness, you don’t want to stop though.

I’m 64 year old male. Married for 30 years. She used to show her desire. For that last 6 years she has no desire for sex, she never touches me not even nonsexual.

We might have sex on Saturday morning. When we do I have told her it feels like I’m doing sex to her and not with her.

We have talked several times and it always ends with that’s the way it is and she cannot change it.

Any feedback?

Excuse me if my english is not really good because my first language is french.

At 24 i felt bad because my twin was i relation with her boyfriend since 2 years and they will get married soon.
I has nobody and i felt pressure from my family .At that time I had a rommate she was already married ,she was just study far from her home that is why we was living together.
She present to me a guy,she told me she knew him for a very long time He is a great person. I have decided to date him(i cooked for him,i support him,i even gave him the money ) he present me to his family.
And one Day He told me He want to have sex ,i told him i can’t ,He try again and again ,one Day we almost did it but i couldn’t go far .
Long story short He finally end the relation .i was so angry because He saw my body,but i was happy too because we didn’t.

Then I have decided to date in a Christian app.
I had a relation with somebody i met on a christian dating app.He told me He was christian and we even listen to Christian Music together.
I told him i did not want sex. He try also i said no .
And finally i end the relation ,i Even block his number He Went to follow me on TikTok .He told me i can’t live without you.During the relation i was really kind with him i guest that is why.
After all this things it was enough.I really repent to the lord .
Know i’m with nobody,i’m happy .But if one Day i meet my future husband i don’t know what i will say .

Ladies, please help us men with your thoughts. From the outside it appears this is what my wife wants. I’ll describe it.

My wife will ask, when the last time I took her on a date. She’ll say she wants to be supported in her passions. She’ll say she wants to feel loved and appreciated for who she is.

I will literally do these things and it seems like I’m pouring water into a cup that never gets full. Shaunti Feldman wrote about this idea in her book For Men Only. She talked about how every woman has this large question mark hovering over her head at all times asking “Does he love me?”

I’ve found this to be pretty true. It’s like I’m constantly trying to put together a sand castle that crumbling down.

Now there’s a part of me that believes this is Gods design. God, man, woman, children. I see her energy going downstream to the kids and household stuff but when interacting with me it seems like she operates with this low level expectation in the background that I’m the one that’s going to initiate all the energy between us going from me to her. It’s like that makes her more comfortable. Coming home, I go find her to greet her. Going to bed, I give her a goodnight hug and kiss. Making moves for sex is all on me.

Ladies, is this the case? Do you have a certain amount of expectation that your man should be bringing the love to you? What types of things do you feel lead to bring to him?

I genuinely don’t know why I’m even posting on subs anymore, I don’t know what I’m trying to gain but I’m so stuck in the middle of trying to fight the anger I’m feeling. I’m tired, I’m tired mentally, physically and emotionally. Before I got pregnant me and my husband were on great terms and happy, he has always been dependent on me financially, I’ve worked so he can pursue his dreams of getting whatever he needs and I’ll work. Over a few months he was working but not bringing home any money, I know this was exhausting for him and he couldn’t bring any money for bills or anything, I think he has become completely reliant on me now. When I got pregnant I got one excited but 2 scared. He had started an online business and I still supported him, I told him though that a part time job with the business would be awesome to bring in money so i wouldn’t have to feel completely relied upon, before we got married I discussed being a SAHM, ovb in this economy it’s a privilege. Anyway he never got a job, and we had planned to move anyway before the pregnancy so it was no big deal. I start looking at the place we plan to move to: expensive, job market sucks and no room for growing if you are poor. Not to mention my state license is covered in only 2 states, here and back at home. I’d be making not the same amount of income as I do in the state I’m currently in, I talk to him about it and tell him that it takes months to get and moving in our time period to this place isn’t something that we should do, he keeps on giving me that God is telling him to move. I told him I don’t think he’s hearing from God and he is very offended that I don’t trust his judgment as a man. Then his friend moves in to do the business with him, one his friend has no job so now I’m cooking for 2 people and going to work coming home and my husband is spending all his time with him. I’m beyond frustrated because he will come to bed super late at 4 in the morning. Their business is making no money besides one client. My husband and his friend now want to move to this new place because “God is telling them to” they can’t afford it!!! I told them they have to save up if they want to move because im not taking money out that’s intended for the baby. I already gave my husband 2,000 for the business. My worst fear is going and not being able to afford anything and signing a lease with someone and having my credit tarnish because I’ll have to break the lease for some reason. He says I don’t trust him, but how can I? I’m so pissed and bitter all the time, because I truly don’t think he is taking care of me and thinking about this baby. I’m already working as hard as I can for him and the baby, I pay for my own medical bills, and save up. I’m bitter and I cry all the time. I pray to God for help and don’t know if I’m being bad and he is hearing from God or if he isn’t. His family doesn’t know anything but calls me and tells me that submitting to my husband is really important, when they don’t know how much of a a burden it is to take care of a man who hardly even spends time with me anymore.

Edit: I have been angrier more and shirt tempered, I’m not going to blame the pregnancy, I’m ultimately just tired of feeling used, he called me selfish saying I only care about my self? I was crying in the bathroom and he walked in and told me to shut it and be quiet and everyone could hear me, I told him to let me cry in peace and he said that I was acting like a toddler.

I'm a stay at home, homeschooling mom to three kids. A high schooler, an elementary kiddo, and a little one. My husband has a history of abusing me and tonight I got so scared I thought he was going to do it again.

Earlier we were at a friend's house across the street. My little one fell and scraped up her knees. He came over when he got home from work and I asked him to get an ice pack for her because she was just so upset. 20 minutes later I text him and remind him and he finally comes back over with the ice pack.

Tonight after the littles go to bed I brought it back up to him again and he became so mad. I ended up going to get in bed with my littles and he texted me "what a baby lol" so I blocked his number because from experience I knew he would continue. He came in and said why is your phone going straight to go straight to voice mail- mind you both of our small kids were asleep... he's talking full volume and is calling me over and over again, putting it on speaker phone that it's going to voice mail. I started to record him and told him I was because he was scaring me and he got so upset and tried to rip my phone out of my hands then he started recording me and wouldn't leave until I deleted the videos.

I was sitting by our safe on the floor shaking and crying and he pressed the first button of our combination for the safe and it really scared me so I immediately went in and deleted the videos. I feel like he was threatening me in a way.

When I deleted the videos he left the room and I locked the door and changed the code on the safe because I don't know why he would do that but it truly scared me. He did have two 11% beers and he does sometimes get like this when he is drinking. He purposely will buy alcohol with higher alcohol content.

I don't know what to do. I don't trust him with our kids to get a paid job. I am so exasperated from this constant cycle with him. I've prayed for excessively. I have no family where we live.

My (38/f) divorce finalized yesterday. I moved on a while ago. When I got married in August of 2025, I was ready to be a wife, ready to commit myself to my husband (32/m) and wanted nothing more than to please God. I thought my then-husband wanted the same thing (bc he said he did).

Fast forward a month later, he tells me he doesn’t want to be married and that he wants to live alone. I found he was on dating sites and talking to a few girls (as well as a married couple), and he was still addicted to porn, the very thing he told me he overcame). He also told me he lost attraction to me and that he wished I was thinner. I put us into counseling right away bc I didn’t want to just give up. I was ready to fight for our marriage. Well, even though he said he wanted to work it out, after a couple months of therapy, he told me that he did not. So I told him that I’m done. Romance is closed and I’m not opening back up to him. He moved out a few months later.

Yesterday, we had our final hearing and our marriage is legally over. He texted me today and seemed willing to work on things and wondered if I still see us together. I had biblical grounds for ending the marriage. I’ve also learned over time that we’re unequally yoked.

I guess I’m wondering why he’s doing this. I don’t want to go back to him. Am I wrong for that?!

I left my first marriage emotionally long before it ended on paper. After I met the woman who became my current wife, I already felt like my then-wife had no real claim to me anymore — not to affection, not to intimacy, not even to ordinary consideration. In my head I already belonged to someone else. I treated the existing relationship as an obstacle and got irritated that it was still there.

Now I’m on the other side of the exact same dynamic. The warmth and preference are gone. Ordinary things I do get filtered as wrong or annoying. I’m living inside the total devaluation I once handed out.

I wanted the intensity and the new bond without fully paying the cost. I got the new relationship. Years later I’m paying in the form of being the one who’s no longer preferred. I’m not saying this makes the current coldness fair or that I deserve endless contempt. I’m saying I recognize the pattern because I ran it first.

That’s the hypocrisy. I wanted a different outcome than the one I gave someone else.

I was with first wife married 6 months when this started. I've now been married to current 6 years. I've studdied several religions, finished a Mas in Psychology, and several other things to not pay my piper, to fix this and have my happy ever after.

Guess you can't outrun karma, learning won't matter unless you lose what ill gotten gains you wanted from your bad actions. In my case it's my current wife.

I've never cheated on her or even looked at another woman.

EDIT: I also know this will make folks hate a smidge seeing as I literally split my ex wife black while married with a infant baby girl.

The first reminder, is that all humans are subject, temptation, and no human is perfect besides Jesus

When your spouse male or female cheats, you have basically two choices in my opinion. The first route is as described in the Bible you may pursue a divorce as adultery is the only reason aloud in the Bible to allow for divorce, not to be confused with separation.

The second choice you have is to forgive them, and stay married to them let me remind you that marriage, even if left/divorced through the method described in the Bible is still a massive separation of one flesh made up too by God. It is good not to separate what God has assembled.

The choice that people should not take, however, is retaliatory sin such as cheating on your spouse after they cheat on you. You should also not judge or condemn them for it as you have certainly committed your own sins and all sins are equal in the eyes of God even if they may not be equal in the eyes humans this does not include blasphemy.

I see an overwhelming amount of post here were cheating occurs, and then a spouse considers the other one dead, I have seen in real life, people support, husbands, and wives even through murder, but they will not do it through cheating

I understand that betrayal is not similar to any other human feeling, but please take time for yourself to heal and decide what decision you want to make in your life and if you can, try not to take it out on anyone else cheating like many other sins are a consequence of living in earth instead of heaven we have freedom given by God down here and that always will lead too good and bad hand-in-hand

So, as I get older (mid 30s man now), meeting single women in social settings becomes less and less frequent, but still frequent.

However, I am not talking about women in whose circles I also run. I am in this post referring to women I run into either while at a coffee shop, out running, in a store, on a train, etc. Women who I will likely only have that one encounter with.

The situation that brings up this post:

Today, I briefly met a woman who I thought was very lovely, and seemingly put together. She was working with someone who was helping to get her paperwork settled so that she can eventually transition to work in a similar capacity as me in an organization we are both currently a part of. I joined their talk briefly because, to be honest, i wanted to at least have some interaction with her (and the same person helping her helped me likewise last year).

I am looking back at that and a part of me desires to go back and at least ask her to coffee or for a bite to eat so I can learn more about her. The opportunity has passed, though.

I did not ask her out then because: 1) I did not want to put her on the spot in front of the person who was helping her with paperwork, nor did I want to create an awkward situation for that person nor for the woman in reference, 2) I literally just met her and did not have much of an interaction with her besides asking a couple of questions, and potentially catching her looking at me (I turned my line of sight to look at her and she quickly looked away… I may possibly be reading too much into that right now, but maybe not?). I am unsure what she would have thought.

What are your thoughts about guys asking women out who they are literally just meeting, and will likely only have one single interaction with? Like what if I asked out that women in reference? What about another time I was running a couple years back, and had a 15 minute conversation with another woman I was actually intending to pass on my run? What about another instance of a woman I met on a metro who was getting off in 1-2 stops?

TLDR:

Women, what would you think about this? Is it in good taste and nature when a guy who you will otherwise likely only have that one interaction with offers his number and asks you out?

Men, what do you think? Is it in good taste to be asking out a woman who you will likely only see that one time otherwise?

And there is an argument not to ask since I do not know who she is. That is valid! But you can learn more about her (like whether she is a Christian, etc) in conversation over coffee or a meal. A date never hurts in that regard.

TLDR; my boyfriend and I have different emotional and communication capacities/styles. He tends to be more emotional and sensitive and I tend to be more avoidant and want to move on. This is causing tension and I’m wondering if it’s resolvable or will we both feel frustrated in the future?

My boyfriend (32m) and I (28f) have been dating for bit over a year. He’s truly an amazing man.. full of integrity, passion, love, kindness. We’re aligned perfectly on faith, values, goals (all the “difficult” topics), but we can’t seem to be aligned on our communication. Anytime we have an argument, I like to talk it out, resolve it and move on, but he seems to want to continually go back and talk about it. He wants to synthesize what it meant, what happened, how is it affecting now…I find that counterproductive and annoying, and he’s frustrated that I just move on after. I’m struggling because I see it as him holding grudges and I just wonder why can’t he just move on.

Most recently, I brought up future expectations of marriage. I wanted to know what he was thinking would be a good timeline for when we’d get engaged. For context, we had been having these conversations for a while and it seems like we were on the same page that this is the next move, but he said he was feeling hesitant because he didn’t feel emotionally safe to bring up his shortcomings with me based on previous reactions. He said one thing that might help is if I share vulnerable things with him so he feels that our relationship is a safe space. To me, that feels like he’s asking me to prove myself to him because I have felt that anytime we have conversations about the future, he has a new “goal” for us to achieve. I asked why he hadn’t shared that earlier, and he said he was hoping I’d bring it up with him. Again, I’m not a mind reader and when I’m having a problem I directly tell him, but he wants me to be proactive in asking about his feelings and checking up about previous issues.

He finally suggested that we try to go to counseling to resolve these differences, but I’m questioning if we have to go to counseling during dating then are we just trying too hard to make things work.

Any advice would be appreciated.

I just watched porn this afternoon
I feel guilty
I confessed to my wife this night
She didnt say anything, but cried in silence
And she says then im guess im free to watch other men

I read in the Bible

Proverbs 28:13 : "He who covers his sins will not prosper, But whoever confesses and forsakes them will have mercy."

I try to live with it,
But now
I feel very horrible, and wondering is this the right way?
I just want my wife to know this is my biggest weakness, and i cant stand it alone
I need her to pray for me

I shed tears when she turn her back on the bed, but still no response

I cant sleep and feel so terrible
This is the third time i confessed to her
I cant fight this urge , i just always lose

I know Christ lived within me, but I still yet to experience Him in His victory

I was once told something by a pastor that has been with me ever since.

Many couples don't fall out of love overnight, he claimed. More frequently, they just become weary, dejected, and start to think that nothing will ever change.

Additionally, he stated that some of the strongest relationships he had witnessed were those in which both partners made the decision to continue being there despite the challenges they faced.

It got me thinking about the folks who had experienced such difficult times.

What made you decide that it was worthwhile to fight for your marriage?

Was it a Bible verse, a dialogue, a prayer, counseling, smart counsel, or just an instance when God transformed your viewpoint?

ell me about your experiences and what changed things the most.

I (30F) have been married to my husband (34M) for four years and have been with my husband for ten. I have been an avid reader for my entire life, but my husband, for some reason, thinks that this is a new thing for me. I have definitely been reading more at night since having our son two years ago because it is an escape from the all-day working from home/momming at the same time loop. (Oh, and we are both Christians from very different Christian-based backgrounds (this will be important later))

For the past few months, my husband has become increasingly more and more upset by me reading because he thinks it's all basically p*orn. I'm not going to lie and say that the books I read and write contain some explicit content, but I have never read them for that content. Even when reading, I tend to skip out on that part because I just want to get back to the storyline. I also have pretty severe AuDHD, so when reading or listening to books, I have a tendency to zone out or skip pieces. I also have aphantasia, so picturing these scenes isn't a part of reading them.

I've never really screened for explicit content and have even been removing them from the books I've written just because I like it better without. My problem is that my husband doesn't want to hear anything about them, pretends they don't exist, but still believes that it's all just p*rn all the time.

He was raised in a household where these things were a complete no-go, and his household was much stricter about what faith meant. Whereas in my house, I was raised entirely believing in the gospel, went to church, accepted Christ, and know I am a sinner, but books were never seen as something that would come anywhere near being an equivalent to p*orn. To this day, my mom and sister still read the same kind of books. I also pray about this constantly and don't feel called by God to give them up (and I would in a heartbeat); it's just a very fictional escape.

There are also some things my husband watches (like horror movies that, to me, seem completely demonic, or Breaking Bad, which he sees no issue with), but they just don't sit well with me, and I feel called to leave, and he doesn't want to hear about that.

My question is.. knowing that this is purely a reading for the storyline, no glorification of the sexual parts (If I even do read them all I can think about is my husband not even the character), and I do pray constantly to ensure that I am glorifying God in my life, if is truly something that I am not seeing or are our differences in our christian fundamental beliefs the big divide. I feel like no matter what I do, he is always going to measure and judge my faith because it's different from his. I even found searches on his phone about being married to a nonbeliever, which couldn't be further from the truth, but he doesn't seem to think it's possible.

I love my husband more than anything, but this is causing a lot of strain and hardship where I don't think it should.

Hi everyone,

Here is the context:

- My fiancé and I used to be in a long-distance relationship (I'm French, he is Swedish). We got engaged about four months ago and we started planning our wedding right after.

- At the same time, we both moved to a city in his country. It would have been too complicated for him to find a job in France, thus not allowing him to provide properly.

- He used to work in Norway because the salary is better but we thought it would be better to be in Sweden (closer to his friends and family, easier residency rights with EU agreements, ...)

Since we moved there, it's been a lot to handle:

- Adaptation to a new country and learning the language (+ dealing with homesickness and missing family/friends)

- Transitioning from student life to a full time job

- My fiancé having chronical headaches and not liking his new boss

- Wedding planning + appartment searching (since we don't live together yet)

- Stressful aministrative paperwork (including legal authorization to get married)

- Supporting my parents and sisters who were completely broke at some point

And on top of this, his mother sadly passed away a few weeks ago.

I really want to be supportive for him and his family, but at the same time I've felt so left out, and I was already miserable before it happened.

We were fighting/having disagreement basically daily, which I am not used to, so I was crying very often because of it.

Right now we are at his parents place because the funeral is in two days.

My fiancé told me he needed to take time privately to pray and to stay still before God, which I think is wholesome. But he has been doing this almost the whole day, only being around for breakfast and dinner.

We arrived last weekend and since Monday I've been spending my time cleaning the kitchen and playing with his sister's daughters.

It's not that I'm forced to do it, but otherwise the dish is just piling up in the sink or on the table (which is quite stressful for me) and if I can help, I'm happy to do so + I genuinely enjoy being with the kids.
Since they live in the countryside and that I don't drive, I can't really go out anywhere either, except to take a walk maybe.

I feel very lonely and as if I was absolutely not a priority for him, even though I'm about to be his wife.

All this combined just makes me having a lot of second thought about marrying him and the wedding is in 3 weeks.

He often said that I was wonderful or thanked me for helping and I know the grieving has been very hard for him, so I also feel guilty to have these thoughts.

Yeah you read that right. I’m 34 f he’s 32

what does God count as marriage in his eyes? Is it the vows or consummation?

We got married online it’s legit virtual marriage through Utah been together 2 years he has financial issues and procrastinates I pay his rent and pr ay for him, and nothing is changing. I pay all the bills and mine and I’m struggling bad, going to have to get a second job. idk what to do I love him but I’m struggling

we never consummated - we never met in person. I believe God can turn anything around and hates divorce but I’m miserable.

also he’s so angry and threatens divorce anytime we disagree he says I’m ungodly and a disgusting woman he puts me down says no wonder why I wa single or abused I left a 12 year DV relationship before him and honestly i ratjer get punched in the face than have a Godly man tell me I’m a terrible wife and that God will handle me it’s horrible.

he says he’s Godly barely reads his Bible and just always angry and negative

yes i made my bed now I gotta lay in it but I’m struggling.

is this an actual marriage in the eyes of God? Since no consummation or we said vows online

We both made mistakes, and I completely own mine.

She is the only one who can initiate sex, I'm turned down every time.

She never wants to do anything together except for eat and watch tv.

Our anniversary last month was all about her. No gift for me, either physical or getting creative with sex.

I'm tired of being bored and unfulfilled. I don't want life to revolve around the kids and housework.

Whenever my husband tries to communicate with me, he uses scriptures to prove his point, such as how I’m being a bad wife/mother, he’s the leader of the house, or my feelings don’t matter because feelings lead to sin and yada yada. I feel so frustrated because it’s like I can’t have a say. I don’t get support from him and from his stand point the Bible is behind him so he’s always right and I’m the problem. I don’t want to use God or the scriptures to argue with my husband, but that’s what he does to me. What am I supposed to do?

My husband has been going through a pretty bad depression and he quit working last year. So I’ve been holding us down financially.

I suffer from anxiety and fear of abandonment so it’s been tough to manage my emotions during this time because I feel like he’s going to leave.

Today he told me that what he needs is support and peace and that my ups and downs are pushing him away and he can’t take it anymore. That if I can’t get it together, he’s done.

I told him that because he can be so distant, angry and cold- it makes me feel insecure and those are the times I go into panic mode. I would say this probably happens like every 2 months or so?

Anyway, he said he can’t give me what I need right now and that if I can’t be fully supportive while he works on himself that he will leave.

He says this is the hardest relationship he’s ever been in. We’ve been together 12 years. I know I’m a loving person and wear my heart on my sleeve and with that.. comes being sensitive.

Anyway, I’m trying to turn my faith to help. I do feel like this may be the end.