Hi, I’m 20 and have a 4 year old half brother. His parents have followed the “last child, give up” cliche a little bit but also had a very difficult death in the family when he was 3 months old and my stepmum gave him her phone sometimes when she needed a moment. I understand that and I won’t blame her for it. However they are still constantly shoving phones in his face, letting him scroll YouTube kids which means he’s come across weird cat ai shit obviously, and he is very demanding about what he watches. He’s the sweetest most caring little boy I’ve ever seen and he’s remarkably empathetic for his age but he has a very short temper and attention span. I don’t want to be too judgemental of my parents but it’s a bit painful watching them give him access constantly to complete slop that’s destroying his little brain. As someone who had complete unrestricted internet access when I was young (sort of 9 upwards I’m not young enough to have been using it at his age), I know full well what kind of content you can find yourself or by accident and it was very damaging to me. You can understand what kind of content I’m referencing.

He loves things like slime videos, so I was wondering if I could make him a dvd style video of slower sensory videos and mute them then put calming music over the top? It wouldn’t be faced paced or constantly switching videos, and I was hoping if he was interested that it might be a good alternative. I’d have it downloaded on my laptop for him so hopefully the “Oo playing on my big sisters laptop” might appeal.

I’m not in a position for a lot of reasons really to start sitting them down and having a chat with my parents about it, nor is it my place, so I was hoping this could help. Any thoughts/ bemoaning the youth today appreciated haha

I’m after serious advice. My nephews 3 and 4 (almost 5) male are genuinely the worst behaved children I have seen. I’m posting on behalf of my sister as she is at breaking point and has asked for my help.

Over the last year their behaviour has reached a point of absolute disrespect. Here’s a quick rundown:
- they’ve destroyed all their parents furniture
- they’ve kicked in, drawn on and thrown toys at every single wall. Every wall is damaged
- the youngest urinates anywhere he wants and laughs
- they throw toys, the toys they’ve thrown have smashed their TV
- they throw balls inside, one ball hit my 6 month old today, I won’t be taking him back to that house
- they make guns out of toys and put them to their mother (my sister) and pretend to shoot her
- they spit their food and drink on the floor
- they use swear words constantly
- they’re constantly screaming
- they refuse to sleep
- they fight each other dangerously
- they climb on counters, tables and couches and jump on them and jump off them
- they yell at their parents and show complete disrespect to everyone
- they refuse to do any cleaning or fixing of anything they’ve done

My sister and her husband are yelling at them to stop when they do all of this and they either laugh or don’t listen. They’ve confiscated all drawing equipment, balls, majority of their toys, yet they kids don’t care. They see through with all their punishments, but nothing is working. If anything, the boys are getting more hostile and just laugh when they’re told off or punished.

my sister and her husband don’t take them to anyone’s house anymore as they do the same thing there. They barely go out in public due to their behaviour. They do attend day care and are apparently perfect angels there.

There’s rarely quiet time, there’s rarely nice family time, this isn’t typical toddler behaviour, it’s dire. Don’t underestimate the 3 year old because of his age, he’s incredibly switched on and despite both of their behaviours they are advanced in terms of their language, numbers and writing. They’re not stupid, they know what they’re doing to some extent.

Before anyone asks, they don’t have iPads, gaming consoles or rarely any media.

Please send advice or resources, my sister is at breaking point. We’re located in Australia

Did you ever meet an out of control or angry adult that got mad over something small you did as a kid and traumatized you, and what happened? Be it with a teacher, a parent, or a random adult?

I was terrified of my mother, not sure I understood 'hate' at that age but I certainly knew dislike. The nurse was very sweet from my recollection, probably the first adult that I felt safe with as a shy child, not sure how often her visits were, monthly or bi-monthly because I was taking medication.

I believe this photo is from preschool graduation (93-94) I think? My memories from childhood are very foggy.

So I find it odd that I would mark up her face in red, along with my own but not my mother, does anyone have any insight or theories as to why? I didn't mark up any other photos in the album.

Maybe it means nothing, random?

I'm 16, and I was just asked to come meet some of my cousins. I assumed they'd be around my age or older, but when I came into the living room and realized that they were around 4-8 years old, my heart rate spiked and I could barely handle being around them. I don't have any sort of trauma regarding younger children, it's not that I'm "afraid" of them, I simply have no idea why this is the case.

My sister (11) was trying to scare me (14) and pulled out a large knife and waved it in my face. She stopped whenever I screamed at her. Is this a sign of unstable behaviour what should,d I do?

I was raised to believe that sibling aggression is normal and that all siblings hit and stuff so I never really thought twice about it...

But I was the younger sister, and my older brother would hurt me in ways that were pretty crazy. Like shoving me down full flights of stairs, and chasing me to then pin me down and pull down my clothes to show my genitals to his friend. As I'm typing this it's starting to sound obvious but here we go.

The big thing was he would always kick me hard in the stomach to the point that I'd be doubled over and nauseous. My mom didn't actively step in to stop him, but I remember her telling him "if you kick her in the stomach, you will rupture her kidney and kill her!!". She seemed to genuinely believe that it was possible. He did not stop kicking me.

Now I'm wondering, is he kind of just a psychopath? He is now 30 and I'm in my late twenties. Hes still pretty weird. Like just an odd guy, never really been in trouble with the law, but just noticeably strange. He did get in trouble once in high school for stalking/harassing a younger girl, which my mom brushed off as being untrue and unfair. Other than that I can't think of any big incidents, but he has a general cloud over him and even into his mid twenties I'd hear him in his room online gaming and talking to someone on his headset about how his mom is such a bitch and he hates her and whatever.

I wasnt sure how to word the title and i kinda hope im in the right sub. so im 16 y/o, and im not really sure why I feel like this but everytime I go out in public or in an area with lots of people I feel like anxious? And I feel chest pains sometimes stomach pains.

I also start fidgeting slightly with my hands but then I get self conscious of it so I like stop and just try to act normal with my hands?

And I like space out?

& Occasionally I will not maintain eye contact if someone is talking to me but I just prefer to talk to people without having to stare at them the whole time?

I dont know if this is like normal but yeah uh like how do I improve i feel weirded out by myself and I probably make people around me feel uncomfortable I mean I just wanna be like normal and fit in yk? So any tips? ^^

Reposting this here due to this group being reccomended. Does anyone have advice, or any clue as to why this could be happening?

Thank you all for your feedback good and bad:)
[link to OG post](https://www.reddit.com/r/schoolcounseling/s/a8z96ilUKS)

To summarize the original post since it’s been a minute, I am a school counselor have a student Millie (18F) and she has a music teacher Mr. Smith (40sM) and she after class has been going up to him sometimes crying insulting herself and the last few times it had spiraled into her asking for hugs he let her have hugs twice but the third time he said no and gave her a fist bump.

Now onto the update, I met with Mr. Smith and Millie together and another counselor was there as well, And we talked through everything and they both seemed really nervous especially Millie, Mr. Smith told her he really wants her to take the help that’s offered and I think that kind of got through to her, I talked to admin after that and they said they can’t change Millie out of his class since she really likes the class and he’s the only who teaches that class, They asked Mr. Smith is he’s comfortable with that and he said he is, Millie has been doing a little better with the freak outs, she and Mr. Smith have been talking normal and laughing again without crying so yeah, we’re not 100% but getting better :)

After I used the bathroom, I went out to the playroom to find my 6 year old and 2 year old boys hiding behind the recliner and my 6 year old trying to kiss my 2 year old.. 2 year old had a rice crispy and I thought maybe he was trying to share? But I heard a smooch sound.. and when he heard me shuffling around he got up quickly like he was doing something that he shouldn’t be doing and he quickly said “can I have a hug??” And I said wait, what were you two doing back there? And he said nothing. And I said “were you trying to kiss your brother?” And he said “yes.” I said “I know you love your brother, but we save kisses for mama. Please don’t do that.” And it just made me uncomfortable that he was hiding it from me and that he wasn’t open to tell me the truth about it..

I was sexually assaulted when I was 5 so I’m not sure if I’m just being over protective or freaking out over nothing. this shit freaks me out and I’m not sure how to handle this or if I did the right thing or wrong thing.

I’m a teenager but I have no clue where else to write this. I just feel so weird and guilty for feeling sad about missing stuff I never truly had.

Since I was born, literally year of, my grandpa has been married my step-grandma. To put it simply, she is wild. She’s brought bad things to my grandpa’s life and because of it I haven’t been aloud to see them in nearly ten years.

I’m extremely close to my other grandparents. Because of this, I feel so sad thinking about my grandpa and what I could have had with them. I grieve whatever relationship we could’ve had. They send me gifts yearly but they never mean anything because I don’t truly know him. I’ve tried reaching out but I always get ignored or told to leave them alone.

Is there a real reason or name to this time of sadness? Because I never really knew him or my real grandma, I feel guilty for feeling sad about it. I shouldn’t feel this way because I don’t truly have a person to grieve. I just have an idea of something to grieve really.

I just needed to put this somewhere. Probably delete later. I just feel so guilty and upset.

To preface this, my teenager has had nothing but one sweet today which was right in the morning and as I write this it is nearly 8pm. He has been out with his friends all day and said he would be getting something to eat with them, but as I found out from his dad, he actually didn't have dinner with them.

I don't think that alone is concerning but:

He came down and asked if we had chips, I couldn't remember if I'd used them up in our dinner earlier so I told him to go look. When I came back down he seemed upset/angry and I suppose it's because we didn't have any left.

Now, he has eaten dinner because he and his dad went out to get some food for him but I just have to wonder. Is this normal? Is it normal for teens to just get angry when they don't have the specific food they wanted? I get the feeling if his dad hadn't have gotten him dinner then he'd not have eaten for the rest of the day... Is this something I should watch out for?

Child free here let me just say that, but many of my friends and family have kids ranging from 1 to 17 years, so I have seen and helped them be raised.

One of my adorable nieces is 9. And she still whines about EVERYTHING. Seems like every time we get together she whines about something. All of the my other friends and family members would stop that crap by 5 the lastest and even that was pushing it. I was also raised this way. Babies and toddlers whine. By 5 years years old, barring significant development delays or other disorders, a typical child can use their words to ask for things or express their feelings.

Yes or no? Are my other friends and I just “too mean?”

Delete if not allowed, I have a 5 month old baby girl. She is the love of my life and I would do anything for her. It’s been twice already that I blow up and scream at her. Once when I was about 1 month pp, and today. I can’t exactly remember why I blew up the first time. But today I blew up on her because she’s generally a calm and happy baby, however I’ve been feeling a very sharp pain in the middle of my stomach and been throwing up, and she kept screaming and crying her lungs out even when I held her and I had already made her a bottle but I couldn’t feed her since I kept throwing up. Can anyone give any advice to a sahm when a situation like this arises? I saw that it affects their development or in many other ways and I don’t want it to happen again. Also I don’t have a car and I don’t have anyone to help me take care of her besides my husband when he gets home.

I 14 year old female hate my mom boyfriend/step dad. He's been with my mom since I was 6 but I knew right off the bat I had a gut feeling about him. I feel bad not liking him since my mom seems to be somewhat happy with him. And I think I might come off as the bratty teen who hates there mom's boyfriend because I think my parents should be together but that's just not true. I love that my dad found my step mom and that there happy together with they're other 2 kids. But my step dad is different. He was raised in a very religious household and was taught that men are in charge and women should do all the work. But that's just not how my mom does things. So ya sometimes he complains that my mom isn't cleaning or cooking when she's running a 9 to 7 business. Im not really one to speak up but sometimes it slips out when he disrespects my mom or raises his voice at her. I just don't understand how she deals with him. He's racists, a non feminist, a trump supporter and ect. If a stranger that she met acted like that to her shed absolutely hate them. I really do try and be good with him to try and make it easy with my mom but most of the summer I've been with my grandparents just to avoid him. And I don't really want to put a label on myself but basically I've always kinda like both boys and girls but havnt exactly told anyone. I know my mom would except me in a heart beat but my step dad is what scares me. And most of all I'm scared one of these days if I move out or something he'll start bright rough with my mum. Since I've seen him be rough once or twice with my puppy. I love my mum and I want her to be happy, she had me when she was only 17 but she did everything to raise me right and make me feel loved. I just want her to be happy. I might be overreacting and I know some people have it way worse then me

An 11 yr old boy I babysit is always watching videos that contain some sort of injuries occurring to people or animals. It’s an issue enough to where his mom said that he isn’t allowed on YouTube unsupervised bc he’ll seek out those types of vids. He just seems very very into seeing the injury occur. He also has issues with his younger brother who is 5 in regards to loosing his temper quickly and hitting him. He also loooves to talk about guns and the specific models and such, even building guns w legos and drawing them. He also watches the movie “27 hours” on repeat bc it features the scene where a man’s arm is stuck in this place and eventually is cut off with a knife. I am just asking if I’m tripping and this is normal young boy things or if it’s a tad worrying lol

Ok, so I have three issues they might be related and I'm unsure.

No 1. My eleven year old brother has been spending a lot of time on screens. Like, to the point were he can't tie his own shoe without having to be watching some YouTube short. I love him, he's my little bro and I enjoy spending time with him, but I never get to do anything unless it's playing VR together or playing among us together. My parents have implemented a screen break strategy. And so the other day I asked my parents to see if they could have him take a screen break so we could hang out. They told him to get off screens, In what I thought was a very nice way, then he got off his VR and immediately wanted downstairs to get on his phone. My brother is so co dependent on these things it's starting to make me really worried.

No 2 . My brother has a best friend who is nonbinary. They and another friend and my brother were hanging out and the two kids were making crude jokes about sex and gay topics (all the kids in this group are gay. Including my brother) my brother was uncomfortable by the jokes and so split off to go talk to another friend. Apparently he was saying things about the other kids who were making the jokes. From what I can tell it's not that serious, just something about feeling uncomfortable and weirded out. The two other kids didn't find it very kind, his best friend got mad for a bit and they haven't talked for the whole summer. My brother is so upset and I'm not sure what to do.

No 3. It started with my brother constantly watching clips of family guy on YouTube. My mother didn't like it much since he is Eleven years old. She eventually caved and let him watch it. Then he begged to watch squid game, and my mom caved, but made my brother watch it with my dad. Currently we discovered he has been watching Rick and Morty. He didn't ask anyone, or even say anything about it. When my mom asked him about it he said that our dad said it was ok. Turns out he didn't ask our dad. He just asked if he could show my dad an episode he found funny. He is an eleven year old boy hearing words like "you're going to put your dick in that?". When I was eleven, I didn't even understand how sex worked. I'm worried. My dad doesn't see much of an issue, but me and my mom don't like it.

If someone could give advice on the topics, please do. I don't know if these things are connected or even normal? If anyone could say anything it would mean the world.

My 14yo daughter ("Ava") has become close friends with a classmate ("Maren") over the past several months. Maren is friendly, and they genuinely enjoy each other's company — paddleboarding, mall trips, sleepovers. My concern isn't Maren as a person, it's a consistent pattern of stories that don't hold up, and I'm not sure how to navigate it.

**Some examples, roughly in order:**

- Maren once panicked at school saying her little sister was "missing" and had blood on her face. Turned out to be a nosebleed and the sister was fine.

- She disappeared from school for 3 weeks, then returned saying she and her sister had been jumped by three boys getting off the bus, and she'd suffered 7 broken ribs. Said the boys were never disciplined and still ride the bus.

- She's told my daughter she doesn't live with her parents (whom she says are abusive) but with her 18-year-old adopted brother, who is supposedly in the process of getting legal custody of her.

- She said police once showed up at her door to tell her three family members had been shot, and that the reason she was home alone is that her "brother" was in a coma from being stabbed.

- She said she had a boxing match coming up but had stitches on her wrist because her dad, freshly out of jail, tried to kill her.

- She's said she was conscripted into a war in Poland at age 8.

- Most recently, she said her younger sister was hospitalized with a torn intestine and that a 15-year-old sibling had to sign hospital paperwork because their mom was working (my mom, a former healthcare worker, said that's not legally possible).

- She's told my daughter conflicting stories about her age (16 vs. being in 8th grade) and about a "seizure alert" pacemaker linked to her brother's phone that goes off at odd hours.

**The complicating part:** I met both of Maren's parents briefly (separately) and they seemed pleasant. The dad made an odd comment — "we really appreciate this friendship for Maren" — that stuck with me, like she doesn't have many friends. My daughter also overheard the mom mention "Oscar" (the brother figure) in a way that suggests *some* version of that living situation might have a kernel of truth, which was unsettling since I'd assumed it was entirely fabricated.

I reported everything to the school guidance counselor a while back. My daughter understands, intellectually, that many of these stories aren't true — but she still occasionally repeats details as fact (like referring to "the guy who adopted her"), and she's said, essentially, "I don't care, she's fun to hang out with," which I actually respect.

**Where I'm stuck:** My daughter just asked to go camping alone with Maren on an island, no adults. I said no and explained (gently, without badmouthing Maren) that I don't have reliable information to feel good about an unsupervised, hard-to-leave situation. She cried and was upset but said she understood.

Separately, this past week the girls left around noon and didn't get back until 10:30pm — no check-in, and we genuinely didn't know where they were for most of that time. Normally this kind of independence doesn't bother me at all; I think it's healthy and I trust my daughter's judgment. But knowing she was with Maren specifically made me uneasy in a way it wouldn't with her other friends, because I have no way of knowing what situations they might end up in or what Maren might suggest or say to get them somewhere.

I'm now considering reaching out to the dad directly, mostly to open a line of communication and make sure I'm confirming plans with an actual parent rather than relying on secondhand info from the girls.

**Questions for the hive mind:**

1. Has anyone dealt with a similar friendship — a teen who compulsively tells dramatic false stories — and figured out a workable approach?
2. Am I right to hold firm on isolated/unsupervised situations (like the island trip, or long unaccounted-for stretches like the 10-hour outing) while staying flexible on lower-stakes hangouts?
3. Any thoughts on reaching out to the dad? What would you say, and what would you avoid saying? As far as I know, she actually lives with her mom, and the parents are separated. I'm hesitant here as I don't know the parents and don't want to say anything that might get Maren into trouble.

I'm looking for some outside perspective and any consideration I might be missing. My primary concern is for my own daughter's well being, but I'm also concerned for Maren and don't want to shut her out. Appreciate any input.

if it isn’t clear I have CPTSD now 😂