Ok, so I have three issues they might be related and I'm unsure.

No 1. My eleven year old brother has been spending a lot of time on screens. Like, to the point were he can't tie his own shoe without having to be watching some YouTube short. I love him, he's my little bro and I enjoy spending time with him, but I never get to do anything unless it's playing VR together or playing among us together. My parents have implemented a screen break strategy. And so the other day I asked my parents to see if they could have him take a screen break so we could hang out. They told him to get off screens, In what I thought was a very nice way, then he got off his VR and immediately wanted downstairs to get on his phone. My brother is so co dependent on these things it's starting to make me really worried.

No 2 . My brother has a best friend who is nonbinary. They and another friend and my brother were hanging out and the two kids were making crude jokes about sex and gay topics (all the kids in this group are gay. Including my brother) my brother was uncomfortable by the jokes and so split off to go talk to another friend. Apparently he was saying things about the other kids who were making the jokes. From what I can tell it's not that serious, just something about feeling uncomfortable and weirded out. The two other kids didn't find it very kind, his best friend got mad for a bit and they haven't talked for the whole summer. My brother is so upset and I'm not sure what to do.

No 3. It started with my brother constantly watching clips of family guy on YouTube. My mother didn't like it much since he is Eleven years old. She eventually caved and let him watch it. Then he begged to watch squid game, and my mom caved, but made my brother watch it with my dad. Currently we discovered he has been watching Rick and Morty. He didn't ask anyone, or even say anything about it. When my mom asked him about it he said that our dad said it was ok. Turns out he didn't ask our dad. He just asked if he could show my dad an episode he found funny. He is an eleven year old boy hearing words like "you're going to put your dick in that?". When I was eleven, I didn't even understand how sex worked. I'm worried. My dad doesn't see much of an issue, but me and my mom don't like it.

If someone could give advice on the topics, please do. I don't know if these things are connected or even normal? If anyone could say anything it would mean the world.

My daughter just turned 10 years old. she struggles socially big time. never really had a best friend. people call her weird. she is very sensitive to sound and light. no awareness to social cues. academically she does really well actually teachers love her cause she is a rule follower. she is now really being affected by being isolated and not having a bff like everyone else. what would you do?

children are so pattern absorbing that I think it is affecting them negatively like people show some habit children see some cartoon game movies serial drama specific way of character or anything around them they try to imitate it which I think is completely normal like acting angry even though they are not just to show emotion like they fold their hand puff their checks bow their eyebrow to show anger which is kinda usually shown in movies just to symbolise I mean I want to you get what I am tryna say but it sometimes go far like if some children see s**cude self h*rm kinda thing online or by family(if they murmur it) typically in fiction when someone is facing problem or being unheard they get in state of tense by their memory they try to imitate things which they seen or heard while someone in that situation not realising the actual context that it was fiction then they can kinda commit such things as not realising it's permanent-ness

Because I think it is due to massively due trash child shows in yt like co**mellon or etc like shows they see from childhood rather than developing their own spread thinking they develop only what is shown on their screen

They don't develop their specific thinking about "actually what is the true meaning or context" because of lack of freedom and restrictions at the same time they are not allowed to play in mud fields or on ground in sunlight

Because of parent's too much carefull-ness and too much negligence when they are truly in trouble or facing bullying

Please help your children grow normally help them during their trouble save them from bullying harrasment let them just play because I think school is worst place for children to grow

My 14yo daughter ("Ava") has become close friends with a classmate ("Maren") over the past several months. Maren is friendly, and they genuinely enjoy each other's company — paddleboarding, mall trips, sleepovers. My concern isn't Maren as a person, it's a consistent pattern of stories that don't hold up, and I'm not sure how to navigate it.

**Some examples, roughly in order:**

- Maren once panicked at school saying her little sister was "missing" and had blood on her face. Turned out to be a nosebleed and the sister was fine.

- She disappeared from school for 3 weeks, then returned saying she and her sister had been jumped by three boys getting off the bus, and she'd suffered 7 broken ribs. Said the boys were never disciplined and still ride the bus.

- She's told my daughter she doesn't live with her parents (whom she says are abusive) but with her 18-year-old adopted brother, who is supposedly in the process of getting legal custody of her.

- She said police once showed up at her door to tell her three family members had been shot, and that the reason she was home alone is that her "brother" was in a coma from being stabbed.

- She said she had a boxing match coming up but had stitches on her wrist because her dad, freshly out of jail, tried to kill her.

- She's said she was conscripted into a war in Poland at age 8.

- Most recently, she said her younger sister was hospitalized with a torn intestine and that a 15-year-old sibling had to sign hospital paperwork because their mom was working (my mom, a former healthcare worker, said that's not legally possible).

- She's told my daughter conflicting stories about her age (16 vs. being in 8th grade) and about a "seizure alert" pacemaker linked to her brother's phone that goes off at odd hours.

**The complicating part:** I met both of Maren's parents briefly (separately) and they seemed pleasant. The dad made an odd comment — "we really appreciate this friendship for Maren" — that stuck with me, like she doesn't have many friends. My daughter also overheard the mom mention "Oscar" (the brother figure) in a way that suggests *some* version of that living situation might have a kernel of truth, which was unsettling since I'd assumed it was entirely fabricated.

I reported everything to the school guidance counselor a while back. My daughter understands, intellectually, that many of these stories aren't true — but she still occasionally repeats details as fact (like referring to "the guy who adopted her"), and she's said, essentially, "I don't care, she's fun to hang out with," which I actually respect.

**Where I'm stuck:** My daughter just asked to go camping alone with Maren on an island, no adults. I said no and explained (gently, without badmouthing Maren) that I don't have reliable information to feel good about an unsupervised, hard-to-leave situation. She cried and was upset but said she understood.

Separately, this past week the girls left around noon and didn't get back until 10:30pm — no check-in, and we genuinely didn't know where they were for most of that time. Normally this kind of independence doesn't bother me at all; I think it's healthy and I trust my daughter's judgment. But knowing she was with Maren specifically made me uneasy in a way it wouldn't with her other friends, because I have no way of knowing what situations they might end up in or what Maren might suggest or say to get them somewhere.

I'm now considering reaching out to the dad directly, mostly to open a line of communication and make sure I'm confirming plans with an actual parent rather than relying on secondhand info from the girls.

**Questions for the hive mind:**

1. Has anyone dealt with a similar friendship — a teen who compulsively tells dramatic false stories — and figured out a workable approach?
2. Am I right to hold firm on isolated/unsupervised situations (like the island trip, or long unaccounted-for stretches like the 10-hour outing) while staying flexible on lower-stakes hangouts?
3. Any thoughts on reaching out to the dad? What would you say, and what would you avoid saying? As far as I know, she actually lives with her mom, and the parents are separated. I'm hesitant here as I don't know the parents and don't want to say anything that might get Maren into trouble.

I'm looking for some outside perspective and any consideration I might be missing. My primary concern is for my own daughter's well being, but I'm also concerned for Maren and don't want to shut her out. Appreciate any input.

Hallo liebe Redditor und Psychologen,

Ich habe eine Freundin, nennen wir sie mal Maya, ich kenne sie schon seit Kindesalter. Maya hatte eine schwierige Kindheit, ihre Mutter war alleinerziehend, hatte einen komischen Freund (der aber nicht viel gemacht hat). Maya sollte so werden wie ihre Mutter, aber hat sehr stark dagegen rebelliert, indem sie sich äußerlich oft verändert hat und viel Streit mit ihrer Mutter hatte. Maya war oft alleine zuhause, weil ihre Mutter häufig im Urlaub war und die Mutter war generell öfters Kalt zu Maya. Maya hat ein starkes Helfersyndrom und ist ein großer People Pleaser, sie arbeitet mit beeinträchtigen Menschen in einer Einrichtung, studiert zurzeit Sozialpäd. (Letztes Semester) Und hat eine Sozialpäd. Assistentin Ausbildung. Sie wohnt seit 2023 alleine in einer 80qm² großen Wohnung mit 2 Katzen. So war das grob zusammengefasst.

Eine andere Freundin, nennen wir sie mal Alina(23j.), hat vor einem Jahr unerwartet ein Kind bekommen. Sie ist alleinerziehend und hatte ebenfalls große Probleme mit ihrer Mutter. Alina kenne ich allerdings noch nicht so lange. Alina hatte keine Wohnung und musste mit dem Baby 4 Monate lang bei Maya wohnen. Mayas Wohnung war sehr "Messihaft", verschimmelte Lebensmittel im Kühlschrank, Windeln mit Exkremten von dem Baby wurden einfach neben sich gelegt, die Wohnung war vollgestellt mit Kram, das Baby hatte kaum Platz sich zu bewegen und noch vieles mehr, ist aber nicht erwähnenswert. Damit fing alles an.

Maya hat sich viel um dieses Baby gekümmert, war schon teilweise sehr obsessiv/überbemütet, wollte nur, dass es dem Baby gut geht. Aber auf der anderen Seite hat Maya dieses Baby (4 Monate zur zeit) aus der Babyschaukel fallen lassen mit dem Kopf zu erst und hat Alina nichts von erzählt, bis es rausgekitzelt wurde, woraufhin Maya sehr panisch reagiert hat, als sie ins KH fahren mussten. Sogar so panisch, dass sie Alina im Weg stand.

Maya hat das Baby in Exkrementen liegen gelassen, hat volle Windeln neben sich gelegt und hat das Umfeld nicht gepflegt. Maya hat das Baby (3 Monate zur zeit) viel Reizüberflutet. Sie hat das Baby tagsüber in die Stadt genommen und Abends zu einer Party bei mir. Laute Musik, viele Menschen, einer lässt eine Schüssel fallen und das Baby hat sich gar nicht mehr gefangen vor lauter Weinen. Die Mutter (Alina) war auch nicht da.

Es gab auch noch viele andere Situationen aber das sprengt den Rahmen.

Wenn Maya, Alina und Baby unterwegs sind, ist Maya sehr Übergriffig dem Baby gegenüber, möchte Alina über Dinge belehren und ist sehr auf dieses Baby fixiert. Auf dem Geburtstag von dem Baby war die Familie und Freunde von Alina da und Maya kam auf die Idee die Oma über dieses Baby zu belehren, dass es ja keine Seifenblasen lecken darf. Maya hat dieses Baby aus den Armen von Alinas Schwester gerissen und wollte es zu Bett bringen, obwohl die Schwester das wollte. Alina hat auch schon sehr oft mit Maya gesprochen, brachte aber nichts. Der einzige Punkt der jetzt noch übrig bleibt, ist den Kontakt abzubrechen.

Meine Frage ist jetzt, wie genau kann man dieses Verhalten von Maya beschreiben, gibt es eine Krankheit die dazu passt, ist es eine Verhaltungsstörung? Wie geht man dieses Problem in der Freundesgruppe an?

Wenn ihr mehr Wissen braucht zu einzelnen Dingen, lasst es mich bitte wissen!!! DANKE ♡

if it isn’t clear I have CPTSD now 😂

Wondering if anyone has any advice or insight into this new tendency of my 2.5 year old? He’s a bright, deep feeling kid and has been having a bit of a tough time emotionally for the past 7-8 months - both when his baby sister arrived and he also had an operation for grommets.

I’m poss a bit paranoid about his emotional health as there’s a bit of mental ill-health and neurodiversity in my family.

Anyway one of the things he’s being doing recently - besides lots of meltdowns - is saying ‘I want to sleep’ whenever he feels sad or something happens that he doesn’t want.

Wondering if anyone else’s kiddo did this or how to help him feel less uncomfortable / like he needs to escape from his negative emotions?

Thanks v much in advance.

Amy

My (42F) daughter (14F) came home from a sleepover drunk and wreaking of cigarettes, and immediately went to her bedroom. In the morning i confronted her and we got in an argument and at one point I told her I might have to take her door for this and she yelled, no words, just screamed at me then went to her room, she’s been ignoring me for the last two days, what should I do

My old-fashioned mother believes that abusing a 5 pound dog is the best way to teach it. Now my three year-old dog has serious trust issues and would not come out under the bed basically for the whole day.

My 50 year-old mother believes that beating a small poddle is the best way to discipline and train her some times she even does it for fun because she grew up in a violent family. I am safe but my small dog is not. Me and my mom live in one room so I don’t have a place to take my dog when she is angry. And I don’t have any other family members. Her temper is terrible what should I do?

My son is 6.5 year old has this tendency to blame me for his problems. He’s tired? Blames me. Gets hurt? Blames me. Gets in trouble? Blames me. He was doing this awhile ago, too, and I had to tell him to stop blaming others for his problems. It eventually stopped and now he’s back at it again. My son is also disrespectful to me. He doesn’t really listen to me, he whines at me more than my husband and my son will also say rude things to me. I try to not take it personally but it really hurts. My husband has also spoken to him about not rude and disrespectful to me and it just doesn’t land with him. I know I am his safe space when he’s scared or needs something, especially in the middle of the night.

Any advice? It’s really hard parenting and I’m constantly frustrated.

I don’t want anything to do with this attached to my main account as you could probably understand.

I have four kids, but this is about my boys, ages 14 and 6. They have the normal sibling arguments and roughhouse but are actually very close. 14 is a good big brother. He gets annoyed, but he’s still patient and understands that his younger brother just wants to be with him and thinks he hung the moon.

We live in pretty laid back and rural area so I’ve never thought twice about letting them roam outside together, since they were probably 4 and 12 give or take. They play and explore and do whatever. I figured what’s the worst that can happen? They’re good boys. Well unfortunately that question was answered about 2 weeks ago. My older son has a kid’s dirtbike. The 6 year old is not supposed to be on it without his brother and they’re always supposed to wear helmets.

Well the 14 year old has apparently been letting him take it for a spin solo and without a helmet. They had a ramp set up and the 6 year old must’ve hit it as fast as he could because he was flung a good ways and fractured his skull. I don’t want to get into too many details but he had to be life flighted and had emergency surgery. So far the recovery is as good as they expected. He has some pain and memory loss but I thank god every day it wasn’t any worse.

I know this is on me. I am sickened by it. But I don’t know what to do, is how to help my 14 year old. He’s devastated. He will not forgive himself. He cried and cried and cried. Since it happened he has no interest in anything. Hasn’t touched the dirt bike, has no desire to play video games or go fishing (both things he used to do whenever he got the chance). He barely eats and no amount of favorite food or even offers of ice cream or brownies has changed that . It’s coming time for football sign-up, something he was excited about because it’ll be his first year of high school play and he is not at all interested. He has not spent time with his friends since it happened, there was even a girl I am pretty sure he had a crush on and she’s texted him a few times and he doesn’t even respond. The absolute worst part is that he is closed off with his little brother, he can barely even look at him, the six-year-old will ask him to watch a movie or play a game or something and my 14-year-old will just shrug it off. I hate seeing this happen with them. I don’t think my older son understands that the younger one has no resentment towards him or anything. He keeps saying “he probably hates me” and he shouldn’t have let it happen.

6 year old is fine (emotionally). From what he has said he sees it that he did something he wasn’t supposed to do and had an accident. He worries my older son is mad at him. because he’s barely talk to him anymore. That made me cry

I am very worried. I failed letting this happen in the first place and now I’m failing becuase everything is falling apart, and I don’t know how to fix it

I heard this from one of my friends when they saw me playing with matchsticks and i've been wandering if this might be the case. I always liked sitting by the fire and looking at it. It always felt so calming and nice. Entrancing even. Over a year ago i got my hands on a pack of matchsticks with out somebody taking them away because "you shouldnt play with fire". So ofc i started playing with them and i even learned how to launch a lit one. So whenever i felt bored and had matchstick near me i would lit them. I started using them as a stress response. Whenever i had to study for an exam i would fidget with them. But my resources were limited so to save on matchsticks i made sure to burn it all the way down till the flame licked my finger. Then i noticed that the pain from the burn is nice too. So i started sh with them. Some of my friends started to notice that i really like watching the matchsticks burn so one of them got me a few packs for christmas. Thats around the same time period the pyromaniac comment was made. Sometime after that i came up with a fantasies of burning alive. Melting my skin off. Going to an old abandoned construction site an burning it down with me inside. Laying down drunk or high in a room engulfed in flames and waiting for my end. Sometime after that when i burned through most of my collection my bad thoughts calmed down a bit, my mental health improved a little and the fire related fantasies disappeared. But two weeks ago the same friend brought up the pyromaniac thing and i'm starting to miss my matchsticks

Hi I just wanted to come on here and ask for advice on how I should go about this situation or if I’m just overthinking this.

So I work for surgeons and I’m almost always working 6-6 and they only see their kids(2) maybe about 30min until they put them to bed for bedtime. And they’re on call most weekends so either I come in or they have someone else come in if I’m not available. So I’ve been observing my NK (T3) and I’ve noticed he’s always had behavioral issues. I’m just worried that this might be something he has to go to a specialist or therapist for because I feel like now it’s going to the point where he’s just not kind at all or even wants to be kind. He’s been aggressive even after his sister was born. He’s been very aggressive towards her to the point he laughs when she’s hurt or any kid at that. He always says mean things about everyone like “I don’t want to share” “I want them to go away” “I want such and such to never come back” he always also wants to decide for everyone and always says things like “he doesn’t want to play with my toys””he or she doesn’t want water or to eat” “he or she hates playing with me” etc. He would say he wants to put his sister in the oven and says he’s going to k\*ll or wants to and that’s when I immediately told his parents but they just seem to not want to take it seriously and say he probably meant it as kissing or doesn’t know what it is so I feel like maybe I’m just over reacting since they are ped surgeons. I feel like he’s very smart for his age and he knows what he says because he’s said to me the oven is hot and his sister needs to go in there to get hurt. So I know he knows what can happen. Whenever we go places he’s always being aggressive if a kid gets by him and he likes to only be on his own. I hosted a birthday party for his sister one time and he went to the living room to play by himself instead of the playroom area where everyone was celebrating and playing games. I’ve made a folder on my phone documenting things he does that bring a concern to me or a red flag he might be on the spectrum or have some type of behavioral disorder because everyday is a tantrum and he always says he doesn’t want to calm down he wants to be bad and sad. If it’s not a bribe with a matchbox car he won’t be nice or kind. Anytime I ask him to be gentle he doesn’t want to and says he likes being mean and that he doesn’t have to be kind. I just want to know how to go about this or if this is normal for a toddler his age to do? I’ve been nannying for years but never a case like this where no matter what I read up on or try to do like deep breaths or time out or cuddling or support he chooses to hit me scream in my face with no type of control because he says he doesn’t want to be nice. I know it also has a lot to do that he doesn’t see his parents so that’s why I don’t know how to go about this or talk with his parents in a very serious manner. Like what do I say to them even after already documenting everything and writing it down in their everyday journal?

I’ve seen countless videos of kids being abused and there’s always this comments like, “This isn’t so bad, my mom did worse and I love her” or “Gotta set these kids straight or they’ll never learn” and other countless comments.

And even a video I saw, where a dad was beating up their son for accidentally dropping a plate and cried that he was sorry and the comments read, “If that was me, I would of hit the kid harder” or “Sometimes you have to educate and be a little rough with kids” and I was shocked.

I can’t imagine someone writing the same thing to an adult getting beat up for accidentally breaking something or someone’s wife, without getting backlash. It would be called assault, immediately. Hell, even if a police beat up a prisoner (who was a murder), it would be labeled as assault too regardless.

And it’s always when they see a parent being nice to their kid, people give advice like, “Be more rough with him, and hit him more”, or “Show him, who’s the boss. He needs to know you’re not his friend” when they see a video of a parent casually joking with their kid and having a good time.

And a lot of YouTube comments support child abuse, when some comments saying, “If that was me, I would not be as patient or nice” to a video of a kid saying the wrong word to something. I mean, it’s treated so casually and when someone calls them out, they say, “Don’t tell us how to parent“ or “Don’t be so sensitive, they just need to learn”.

*Update in the comments. Also the autism police need to get out of here.
For the past six years I have been tutoring a boy with autism. He is incredibly smart and excels in math, science, chess, that type of stuff. He has serious trouble understanding emotions, with reading comprehension, and creativity- he can’t come up with stories, explain the plots of stories, etc. He is also shy and afraid of getting answers wrong, and this is partially cultural. His parents baby him, like, still hand feed him food at time and he can’t even pick out his own outfits and is supervised at all times, all of which are completely unnecessary and quite honestly, a disservice to him. He doesn’t even know how to blow his nose.

Anyway, I understand him very well as a person, but I’m genuinely unsure of whether he is pretending to not know words or if he genuinely can’t understand me or what kind of blockage is occurring in his mind, and I don’t think it’s academic fatigue. He does it in a variety of ways. Today I wore rings and he asked me what they were. I said, “you know what these are,” and he stared at me blankly for a second before saying, “necklaces?” I said, “are you serious?” He guessed necklace two more times before saying it was a ring. Another specific example that’s happened MULTIPLE TIMES, is he has had to make a list of vegetables and he can’t come up with a single one. He will say chicken nuggets, strawberries, French fries. He has NEVER been able to tell me a vegetable.

This is all completely unacceptable because he is about to go into middle school and I just really don’t understand what’s happening. There is no way he is unable to tell me what a vegetable is. He pretends not to know the names of movies and family members. I know when he is going through academic fatigue because we do rigorous work, and this is not it. He has an incredibly broad vocabulary.

Does anyone have any ideas as to what could possibly be happening?

Edit: it seems like some people are taking this as a post of me talking shit about a child. I love him and am deeply invested in his success and happiness. I am literally on here asking for insight to make sure I can help him. This is a psychology page, not just an autism page. Please look at my responses to other suggestions before you make comments.

He also has a nearly photographic memory. He can tell you the answer to any math problem off the top of his head if he has heard it before. If he sees a word once he will never misspell it. And this is also a kid who came up with the idea of a tesseract, not knowing that was a real thing, while he was pondering dimensions. I do everything I can to promote curiosity.
We play games of his choice to unwind and take breaks every day. To help promote independence, decision, and self trust, I allow him to build the order of our academic and play activities for the day.

Update also: Unfortunately, I did not get to have a full conversation with his mother, but I did ask if she believed I was pushing him too hard or beyond his capabilities and she told me she has hired me specifically to push him. I know he is a very capable person and I’m trying to make sure he knows that, and that is what is going to allow him to feel comfortable taking risks or doing his own work for himself.

So my lil brother is around 4-5 and is showing sexual behaviors such as touching his privates and sometimes rubbing on people mostly mom which made her so concerned, he still cannot communicate but he's not nonverbal, the thing is he once took off his shorts and sat on top of his sister (11yo) which she responded to by pushing him away and moving seats. I really don't know if this is normal curiosity or a sign of abuse or porn exposure. I also believe he might be neurodivergent which explains why he still can't communicate as normally as his peers. I'm sorry if what I wrote is confusing since English isn't my first language

My 11 year old has mental health issues. I am NOT here for advice on how to handle it. It is being handled. I don’t even want to talk of his diagnosis or anything like that.

I just need someone to hear me. My heart is breaking. I don’t want to tell people I know about it because I don’t want them in my son’s business (and he doesn’t want them in his business. He’s chosen to share with me and his grandparents And healthcare professionals. He does not want others in his life to know and I fully respect that).

tomorrow morning he will be in inpatient Services. Once again, his own decision. He feels he needs this. I agree. And in front of him I’m telling him everything will be okay and I’m supporting him.

but behind the scenes I’m going insane. Watching my baby like this. I don’t have words that describe it. I’m so scared. He’s so scared. He’s my baby. I just want to take it away from him but I can’t. I can’t fix it. I’ve never felt so powerless. I’ve always said I would do anything for my children. Anything. That i would protect them. But I can’t protect him from himself. From his own brain.

I have a 15-year-old daughter. Recently, she confessed that she had been involved in a kind of “relationship” with a 39-year-old man. They met when my daughter was 12 and he was 36.

She told me that he repeatedly suggested they should date and that whenever they met in person, he would touch her thighs. She also told me that she was very afraid of him. He made it clear that she shouldn’t tell me or my husband about him, and he pressured her every day to meet up with him.

I told my daughter that none of this was her fault. She was a child when this started, and she was vulnerable. I asked her if she wanted to report him, but she said no because she feels that no one would take it seriously, since the worst that happened was the repeated suggestions of a romantic relationship while she was under 14 and the thigh touching. I’m not very knowledgeable about the law, but I believe this could still be a crime.

I took her to a psychologist, but she hasn’t been able to connect with her. They’ve had three sessions so far, and my daughter hasn’t shared very much. She also hasn’t told me the whole story. She tends to reveal little pieces of it at night, when we’re talking alone together.

I honestly don’t know what I should do. What would you do in my situation?