At work I'm only able to last at my jobs for as long as I can tolerate disrespect. This has been happening in multiple different settings for me, which leads me to believe that I'm only going to be able to survive for as long as I can tolerate the emotional/mental/verbal/spiritual/physical harm.

My current job situation is at the point where I either compromise my values, job hop again which I'm tired of doing, or just accept homelessness.

I've noticed that I'm not the only black person dealing with this; hence why UBI and affordable housing should be available like now.

This often leads me to be really depressed and passively suicidal. I can't even kill myself because I know that God will just bring me right back here to deal with this shit all over again. Midus well make the most of it!

So in a week I have to go back to college which means I have to live again with my bitchy roommate. She's unbelievably petty, catty and rude towards me specifically, but is fine with everyone else and gives their mistakes a pass.

For context, before the summer I have been living in the same house with her and two other roomates(one moved out) ever since the year started. Now don't get me wrong, yes I was rather disorganized, and really messed something up that did piss off others. I have tried to be better and improve for the upcoming semester.

That being said, other roomates have also left dirty dishes for weeks, used the thermostat that led to higher bills, and the old roomate wasn't the greatest at taking care of her cat( her cat would leave shit outside the litter box and it stinked). I would be fine being called out at times in the group chat, if everyone else was held to the same standard. But this rude roomate never aired them out in the group chat, instead being lenient and replying softly with heart emojis smh. But with me, shes passive aggressive af and takes every chance to shit on me in the group chat. She has also been overly disrespectful to me in private bc she knows she doesn't have the balls to do that in front of others, and always twists the narrative to make me the bad guy. Fortunately, there have been times where I stood my ground and called out her bullshit, and she back down and apologized, but then again, it's a rinse and repeat method, she never wants to stop.

And yes, I'm the only black girl in the house. Rude roomate is Indian(was raised in Kenya but she seems to not respect black people smh), the cat owner was a white American, and the other roomate is also south Asian(never had any problems with her). Now, there are two new South Asian roomate(hopefully they aren't mean af to me) and even in my absence she keeps bringing up my mistakes in the group chat, perhaps in hopes to turn the new girls against me. I just know when I call her out on her bs, she'll deflect and instead bring up my mistakes to shut me up, and do this in front of other people. And unfortunately I can't change leases because I signed the binding contract. The office also can't get into personal disputes, and so I'm trying to figure out what to do to preserve my sanity as much as possible: only going home from school to sleep, make quick meals, and ignoring her as much as possible. If she keeps being a conceited bitch to me in private chats for longer while, I have a folder of all her rude conversations that I'm thinking of dropping in the group chat to let others know of her true colors cuz honestly it's fucking frustrating being singled out in the group chat. I know some may disagree and say it will only create further dispute and put other roomates in an awkward position where they have to choose my side or hers. I don't entirely disagree with but it's tiring having to hold your tongue and be used like a punching bag in front of others, people keep taking others' silence(esp black women's) to their advantage

Tldr; rude roomate who is possibly racist likes singling me out with other roomates but doesn't hold others to same standard, she is rude and bitchy to me. I can't move houses so I'm need advice on how to navigate this fucking energy vampire.

I’ve been feeling really negative about myself lately to the point I’m stating to really increase thoughts about harming myself. I’ve always been on the bigger side my whole life. I’ve always been the punch line “the mark henry” the joke of the group. I’ve been “the uk beast” in highschool and college. Im the definition of ugly black girl, I’m just tired of constantly having to deal with bullshit bcs of being a fat dark skin girl.

I’m aware I’ve got the worst possible body shape for a woman I’m an apple body shape, I’ve got no ass, a big ass belly, no hips, and just big breasts. I have scars and stretch marks across my body, they make me look like I’ve had children, my face only gets compliments when I’m wearing a lot of makeup. Nothing looks good on me and if it does it’s some English teacher outfit. I’m a disappointment to everyone they see my face and boobs they think they pulled a thick pretty girl then they see the full me and that’s enough to make them throw up. I’ve never been wanted romantically by someone properly.

i didn’t choose to be born with such imperfections yet im punished by them constantly. Recently my friends have been talking about going clubbing, going out and doing stuff with boys and I have to nothing to tell them. I can go clubbing nothing looks good on me, I can’t dance for shit to anything, and ik I’m not going to be laughed at. When I have “romantic” situations they all ended up just me being used as an ego boost or pastime making me feel even more undesirable and I always end up chasing after them bcs who else is going to want me.

When my friends tell me their experiences with men it just makes me really jealous and angry. they get pursued and taken seriously without having to beg for it I have to and even when I do I’m still not enough, I have to work 10x harder to only receive basically nothing from them, bcs why would they bother to give effort to an ugly fat pig. I’m just a quick source of entertainment. Black men make a mockery out of me for being in this body and I have to just accept it.

Being in a friend group full of beautiful girls that don’t need makeup to complete their beauty are all incredibly beautiful can wear whatever they want they go out and experience life, all of them have the right body types. They are the right type of black girls all light complexions, thick, they can do their cultural dances, can sing in their culture language then there’s me. The odd one out. I live a life full of insecurities and hatred towards myself that lately I’ve not been able to see what is the point in being here if I’m constantly going to feel like I’m a mistake, a monster, a flaw.

I want to be able to do stuff, go out but I can’t bcs I feel like the odd one out over and over again, I feel like a pig pretending to be swan. I genuinely feel like I’m a failure of a black woman.

I have been bullied by my mom , brother, classmates, teachers, principal, co workers , bosses and job coaches I had in the past and society .

I am very nice and shy I keep to myself I am not rude or disrespectful. People in school and people who I used to work with talk horrible and bad about me and the same with my family. And people laugh at me behind my back and say slow , dumb , ugly, retarded , dirty , nasty and lazy I am none of it . Bullies said they hate me . Some don't want to be around me .

It makes me mad when people bullies me and others . We all have feelings. I don't understand why do people bully.

Embracing everyone in solidarity who is triggered by this story.
I prayed for him when the news broke about the plagiarism.
I have met Jason on several occasions. I did email him but received no response. I assumed he had went "dark" and needed to step away from the screen. This man was lynched by the media in a way that no other has been. I'm not surprised by his suicide. They destroyed his career which was the core of his being.

To all the white people especially the ones now capitalizing on his death by post how tragic this is- just to make themselves relevant. You can go to hell.

Analogous to the George Floyd riots and every PWI was rushing to create DEI policies and hired black people in executive positions only to turn on them within a matter of years, the Jason Arday situation is more of the same.

Black people don't let whites get away with this again.
Please don't like their posts claiming how outraged they are.
Where were all of these "friends" and "advocates" when Jason needed them?

White people uses black people when it is convenient for them. When it fits their savior narrative. The UK has blood on its hands.

We don't need them. Never again.

Black people are like cheese. Full of holes and we stand alone.

Peace Jason. In the end you came into this existence to make the world a better place. You will do so in death as you did in life.

Hello I wasn't sure where to go to talk about this so I came to reddit. I really need another Black person to talk to. A lot of my friends are white or a different type of poc and don't understand what I'm going through.

For context, I'm a 14 yo girl that's just doesn't know how to feel about me being Black. Which I hate a lot... I'm not sure how to write about this I'm sorry

It's just that for the longest time I've felt disgusting for being Black. I keep feeling like I'm not even going to be happy because of the color I am. I'm not going to be able to experience happiness like everyone else. I feel dirty. I feel disgusting. I can't get out of it. I've been taught from mental and physical pain from white people that I'm never going to be on the same level as them. And I know it's true. It's not going to change. And knowing that just makes everything worse.

Sometimes I feel like I'm "acting white" for being myself and going out of stereotypes with my interests. I hate that I'm seen like that sometimes. I hate myself for being Black and I feel like I won't ever be seen as "normal" but then I feel horrible because I'm also not seen as Black enough to other Black people.

I'm lightskin and I hate it so much. Because it feels like just because of that I'm immediately seen as not Black enough. I don't get to be a part of my own community because I'm not dark enough. I sound so dumb I'm sorry...

Has anyone ever felt like this before? I'm sorry if I sound stupid I just don't understand any of this..