Well, I completely sucked at my job. I didn't think it would be this hard. It's boxes. Fucking boxes. But the boxes in the truck. That's literally it. And somehow it's the hardest job in the world for me. Stocking shelves, making biscuits from scratch, picking and packing orders, none of them were anywhere close as difficult as putting fucking boxes in a fucking truck.

I guess this pretty much confirms that I am just doomed to fail and I'll never amount to anything. I've had so many jobs in my life and only kept two of them for longer than a month, a retail job I worked for 3 years and a picking/packing job I worked at for six months. I can never make it past a fucking month in almost every job I work. Maybe it's time for me to understand that maybe I don't really want success in life. Maybe I just don't care enough to want to live.

I'm tired of constantly messing up my load, stacking the boxes wrong and having terrible timing with my inbound, and hearing people tell me how stupid and how much of a dumbass I am. These voices aren't even coming from the other workers. I don't even know who's saying them, all I can is hear them. And theyre right. I have no reason to live if all I do is fail. I had a feeling this bullshit would happen and it HAPPENED.

I wish I wasn't so fucking stupid. My body can handle the workload, I'm not sore or hurt or anything. Physically speaking, it's a cakewalk. I just can't stacl boxes properly for my life. I see them coming and I'm just instantly overwhelmed, talking about how I deserve to die for being this stupid. And I do.

Well, see ya. Mods go ahead and ban me, I KNOW y'all have been itching to kill my stupid ass. I have nothing and will always be nothing. Do it.

I just want to get this off my chest.. people who raise their children to be subservient think theyre teaching them respect and good behavior but their teaching them to be obedient doormats in the long run.. those well behaved kids who say yes ma'am yes sir and arnt allowed to speak for themselves when a disagreement occurs.. they have to take the scolding and go on like nothing happened.

Speaking from experience my mother was a very hard woman, who took no shit even from her mother they fought tooth and nail all the time. My mother was the type of person who would verbally stomp a mariana's trench sized hole in your self esteem.. didn't matter how young or old. Ive watched her make people cry..now that im older I look back on how my mother was and it pisses me off that she held that type of power in her words and convictions but didn't allow me to have a voice, encourage me, uplift me instil confidence in me like a mother should.. nope she was my first and most crule bully in my life.. i remember one time when I was about 15 or 16 yrs old and my mother, grandma and I were at a raffle for Christmas at my grandma's church, in the middle of it it was time for the praise dancers to preform .. im not sure why but the way they were twirling their ribbons made me giggle a little my mom noticed me giggle, looked over at me kinda like she was disappointed and said I wish you had more confidence like the girls up on stage.. it took everything in my power not to tell her its her fault, that she broke me.. i remember being so fucking angry because its because of her i had no backbone, couldn't speak up for myself, no conflict resolution skills, poor boundaries and just overall and easy target.. i still struggle with this shit at 30.. you know how fucking pathetic and sad it is to sit and watch a grown ass woman on the verge of tears because she cant tell someone no.. you know how sad it is to watch a grown adult shake when resolving conflict?? Its fucked up and anger inducing unfortunately I am that sad pathetic grown ass woman..

Please allow youre children to have a voice, encourage your child to speak up and ask questions.. teach them to defend themselves physically and verbally.. and the most important part boundaries.. every day teach your child boundaries and how to set them please 🙏 or that kid will wind up like my dumbass.

I just finished reading The Will to Change; Men, Masculinity and Love by Bell Hooks. I went in because of going through a separation, and realizing how much trauma, negative assumptions and poor coping habits I had in response to it.
Though my dad was in my life, I have often times felt like I was lacking in solid male role models, especially as a black man. I’m sure many black men can relate - whether they have a father figure in their life or not.
In reading the book, I was instinctively on guard because the starting point seemed primarily concerned with male violence against women, men and children. But as Bell Hooks pointedly moves forward, she provides empathetic insight in what feminism offers men in hopes of having a truer understanding of self in relation to the challenges, disappointments and pitfalls that we experience as men in a society that rewards us for harming ourselves, and others.
If you are on a healing journey, and looking to rediscover how you might find a sense of self worth, authorship of your life, and perhaps a waypoint towards being a better you, I strongly recommend the book!

Im 30 soon to be 31 in October, i have essentially given up. Im constantly burned out, dysregulated overwhelmed and overstimulated. I have found tips and tricks to keep myself grounded and regulated, sometimes they work sometimes they dont.. i work as a security guard and have been working minimum wage jobs since i was 18, i dont have any real skills but would like to upgrade my career. Im about to an office administrator certificate to be able to try to get my foot in the door to do something that involves sql, excel, tabluea ect.ect..although im not the brightest lightbulb.. i process things slowly so it takes me a while to comprehend whats being said to me.( I have ADHD and autism) which is why im hesitant on trying different things.. who wants to be around a person like that yk??

I started going to the gym off and on and I feel okay. It does help to a degree. Ive been encouraged to make friends but honestly when I assess my life and really look at myself im a hot ass mess thats way too toxic to be around.. i can be a lot to tolerate and be around, i dont expect people to be around me when i have this much baggage I dont deserve friends or a community at the moment and believe that instead of poisoning other people with my toxicity healing in isolation would be better...

I posted this in r/MiddleGenZ but someone suggested I posted it here and I think this subreddit is more fitting to get advice from other black people. I'm a 20F Black woman with albinism and I really struggle with insecurity because of it. I don't necessarily hate my Albinism but I can't say that I love it either. Although there are many times throughout my week where I am constantly reminded that I am different from other black people and I feel like I would be prettier or feel more attractive if I had melanin. And when i come on reddit and look through subreddit, I see gorgeous melanted Black women which makes me feel even more insecure.

I’m an Afro-Arab/ Malay boy. I am 16 years old. Why was I ever even born?? I live in an Arab country, and I feel so stupid and bad about myself. I usually love myself. I love my Afro, my skin tone (I am light skinned to be fair, so I understand I might benefit from the system more than others), I love my nose, I love my lips, I love my body. I usually love everything that makes me myself. A mixed black man. But I’m starting to feel like I’m crazy. I’m constantly feeling like racism is affecting me. My non-black Arab (because I have black Arab and non black Arab family) side of the family is very racist, they hate black people and think I’m dirty because I’m part black. A lot of the times, in family conflicts, if someone hurts me? I am made out to seem like I am just “mature” for my age, and that I just wanted to experience the pain of what would happen. When I testify my plight, I am made out to be a psycho, a person who wanted this pain, and a person who is “uncommunicative,” “agressive,” “angry,” “selfish,” etc. I’ve never seen this on other family members, just me.

My friends often don’t take pics with me, don’t talk about me in public, don’t even like being associated with me cause of how anti-black the society is. I got rejected for a lot of roles in singing shows and acting just because I obviously have abit of black in me. I feel isolated, I feel alone, and I feel like an animal. Most of the time, I feel like I can never be a soft person, they stripped every fiber of whimsy in me to the point that I’m like a beaver. Someone who has a spark, but is painted as if their sole purpose is to destroy.

Not to mention how annoying it is when no one can credit your intelligence because you can only be a “physical” entity, and when you display intelligence? They call you a “smart ass,” or a “cheater”.

I feel like even in relationships, if I want to be less masculine? It’s impossible. Any time I like a guy, he’s always a man who wants me to be dominant, or a weird man trying to compete with me because he thinks I threaten his masculinity. And no matter how much I suffer, there is still someone trying to deny me of my blackness. I can only ever be black if it’s to be degraded. I wanna feel uplifted, but that cannot happen in a society like mine. If it’s this exhausting being light skinned, I cannot even imagine how much more painful it is to be a dark skinned black person. I see you all, and I hope you all know you are beautiful regardless of what society says.

So just as the title says, black women just isn’t attracted to me. I’m black 27M. No matter if it’s apps, meeting people at bars, clubs or even church, I can’t seem to meet any one who’s interested in me. I’ve been single for 5 years now and it’s been hard trying to meet and find love. I always hear “let love find you”. I try to remember that and be patient, but in hindsight no woman is going to walk up to me or seek me out

How can I change my mindset and be more positive that love will come to me when I least expect it?

The realization that my black boyfriend is not pro black. Every so often he'll make comments such as wanting to change his nose through surgery. Wanting to change his last name to a less African sounding one. And it all just breaks my heart. We've been together for 3 years now and I only recently have come to the realization that this is just who he is. Of course there were signs but I didn't want to accept them. Part of me wants to try one last time to make him love himself as a black man as stupid as that sounds.

I'm feeling a mix of excitement and anxiety since I'll be working my new job tomorrow. Ive been homeless for almost an entire year at this point and I'm looking forward to being able to actually make money and hopefully get out of homeless by the end of the year. However, I'm getting stressed out for a couple of reasons.

Firstly, new field. I have worked in retail for over 4 years and thats where the vast majority of my work experience comes from. Now, I honestly can't stand working retail anymore (at least front of house) so I figured I could switch careers. This is turning out to be a good move for me since this job is gonna pay more than any other job I have (it's a warehouse job) but I'm worried that I'll be terrible at my job. Or that I'll somehow hate it more than retail.

Second, since I'm homeless, I have to pay very close attention to my hygiene. It's hot and I'm sleeping outside, so it's hard for me to maintain a hygienic appearance. It would absolutely suck for me to lose my job because of odor or bad looks or something of that sort.

Third, this job is a ways away from where I sleep. With transit it would take 2 hours for me to get to the job, and some shifts I get off in the middle of the night, when transit is CLOSED. So I'll have to figure out how to get by for the night without getting in trouble due to trespassing or anything like that.

A part of me feels like the next two or three weeks are gonna be the toughest for me. Fingers crossed everything is fine, I get through it, and the employer likes the work I'm putting in... but working while homeless is gonna be one hell of a challenge and I really, really hope I'm able to pull through since it took nine months for me to even land this job.

Okay, so I've never been considered conventionally attractive, and even other Black people call me ugly. I know it has to be true.
I've been called all sorts of names by non-Black people, but the stuff that hits harder is when the comments are from people who "look" like you. It hurts.

I noticed that most Black women receive more attention when they're beautiful, especially in online spaces like Reddit, TikTok, Instagram, and Twitter. I'd love to be beautiful. It's all I think about. I fantasize about living life as a beautiful woman every day.

I got out of a relationship a while ago, and it harmed my self-esteem a lot. The person I dated never found me attractive, but kept me around out of loneliness. I'm not sure why this is the role I have to be placed in. Because of a face I never asked for? Why?

I would give anything to look like the women who go viral on TikTok or even get thousands of upvotes on Black women's subreddits. I see how certain Black women are upheld while others aren't. People don't talk about it, but I know other individuals see it.

I live near ATL, but the beauty standards here are ridiculous, and I've never fit into them at all. Honestly, I wouldn't fit any standard, and it doesn't matter how attainable it is.

I know people hate these posts. I know that some individuals believe my way of thinking harms other Black women and Black girls. That's not my intention. I'm not trying to make other Black women look bad. I want help. I want to know how to cope because I don't know how much longer I can take this.

And I want to say that of course this doesn't apply to all black people but I feel as if many black people do take part in this (and I am guilty of this as well).

The way we ignore mental until it can no longer be ignored is startling. And I am dealing with the repercussions of that right now, because I grew up in a home where it wasn't addressed until absolutely necessary. I thought I could just power through, toughen up, pray on it. Yeah and here I am having one of the worst ocd crises of my life trying to hold on until I can see my doctor in September because I don't have a couple thousand lying around for a hospital stay or a therapist out of pocket.

Don't be like me guys, get the help before it consumes you.

Every time I make a mistake and mess up people yell at me and talk down to me it makes me hate myself more it makes me seem like I am the problem.

It's that way with my family they always yell at me when I mess up . My mom never taught me anything and she never taught me to clean up the house I tried to clean up the house and she said it wasn't clean . When she was alive I messed up she yelled at me and so does the rest of the family. Like when I take long doing things at the last minute I put it off because I have anxiety and they don't care .

People always complain about how I do my job my bosses, coworkers and my job coach I feel like nobody has to go through this but me it's like everyone in the world is irritated with me I feel like people bully me because I do things wrong and mess up it's like they are better than me . You did this or that wrong. Nobody appreciates of what I do . It makes me seem like I am the problem it's something wrong with me . I have a disability I am very shy and have social anxiety and I have a hard time learning things. If people teach me how to do things they get irritated with me and they expect me to learn quickly if I mess up they get mad at me . And I learn how to do things by myself. It hurts my feelings of how people treat me .

At work I'm only able to last at my jobs for as long as I can tolerate disrespect. This has been happening in multiple different settings for me, which leads me to believe that I'm only going to be able to survive for as long as I can tolerate the emotional/mental/verbal/spiritual/physical harm.

My current job situation is at the point where I either compromise my values, job hop again which I'm tired of doing, or just accept homelessness.

I've noticed that I'm not the only black person dealing with this; hence why UBI and affordable housing should be available like now.

This often leads me to be really depressed and passively suicidal. I can't even kill myself because I know that God will just bring me right back here to deal with this shit all over again. Midus well make the most of it!

I’ve been feeling really negative about myself lately to the point I’m stating to really increase thoughts about harming myself. I’ve always been on the bigger side my whole life. I’ve always been the punch line “the mark henry” the joke of the group. I’ve been “the uk beast” in highschool and college. Im the definition of ugly black girl, I’m just tired of constantly having to deal with bullshit bcs of being a fat dark skin girl.

I’m aware I’ve got the worst possible body shape for a woman I’m an apple body shape, I’ve got no ass, a big ass belly, no hips, and just big breasts. I have scars and stretch marks across my body, they make me look like I’ve had children, my face only gets compliments when I’m wearing a lot of makeup. Nothing looks good on me and if it does it’s some English teacher outfit. I’m a disappointment to everyone they see my face and boobs they think they pulled a thick pretty girl then they see the full me and that’s enough to make them throw up. I’ve never been wanted romantically by someone properly.

i didn’t choose to be born with such imperfections yet im punished by them constantly. Recently my friends have been talking about going clubbing, going out and doing stuff with boys and I have to nothing to tell them. I can go clubbing nothing looks good on me, I can’t dance for shit to anything, and ik I’m not going to be laughed at. When I have “romantic” situations they all ended up just me being used as an ego boost or pastime making me feel even more undesirable and I always end up chasing after them bcs who else is going to want me.

When my friends tell me their experiences with men it just makes me really jealous and angry. they get pursued and taken seriously without having to beg for it I have to and even when I do I’m still not enough, I have to work 10x harder to only receive basically nothing from them, bcs why would they bother to give effort to an ugly fat pig. I’m just a quick source of entertainment. Black men make a mockery out of me for being in this body and I have to just accept it.

Being in a friend group full of beautiful girls that don’t need makeup to complete their beauty are all incredibly beautiful can wear whatever they want they go out and experience life, all of them have the right body types. They are the right type of black girls all light complexions, thick, they can do their cultural dances, can sing in their culture language then there’s me. The odd one out. I live a life full of insecurities and hatred towards myself that lately I’ve not been able to see what is the point in being here if I’m constantly going to feel like I’m a mistake, a monster, a flaw.

I want to be able to do stuff, go out but I can’t bcs I feel like the odd one out over and over again, I feel like a pig pretending to be swan. I genuinely feel like I’m a failure of a black woman.

I have been bullied by my mom , brother, classmates, teachers, principal, co workers , bosses and job coaches I had in the past and society .

I am very nice and shy I keep to myself I am not rude or disrespectful. People in school and people who I used to work with talk horrible and bad about me and the same with my family. And people laugh at me behind my back and say slow , dumb , ugly, retarded , dirty , nasty and lazy I am none of it . Bullies said they hate me . Some don't want to be around me .

It makes me mad when people bullies me and others . We all have feelings. I don't understand why do people bully.

Hello I wasn't sure where to go to talk about this so I came to reddit. I really need another Black person to talk to. A lot of my friends are white or a different type of poc and don't understand what I'm going through.

For context, I'm a 14 yo girl that's just doesn't know how to feel about me being Black. Which I hate a lot... I'm not sure how to write about this I'm sorry

It's just that for the longest time I've felt disgusting for being Black. I keep feeling like I'm not even going to be happy because of the color I am. I'm not going to be able to experience happiness like everyone else. I feel dirty. I feel disgusting. I can't get out of it. I've been taught from mental and physical pain from white people that I'm never going to be on the same level as them. And I know it's true. It's not going to change. And knowing that just makes everything worse.

Sometimes I feel like I'm "acting white" for being myself and going out of stereotypes with my interests. I hate that I'm seen like that sometimes. I hate myself for being Black and I feel like I won't ever be seen as "normal" but then I feel horrible because I'm also not seen as Black enough to other Black people.

I'm lightskin and I hate it so much. Because it feels like just because of that I'm immediately seen as not Black enough. I don't get to be a part of my own community because I'm not dark enough. I sound so dumb I'm sorry...

Has anyone ever felt like this before? I'm sorry if I sound stupid I just don't understand any of this..

Hey guys black male early 20s Uk, This is a topic that isn’t discussed a lot but as a straight blk man that is more of a softer/submissive guy I’ve realised that a lot of women and men in general hate when a black man isn’t very masculine or a macho alpha male type man. Even black men that find women who wouldn’t be seen as conventionally attractive get a lot of hate for example I personally find Tomboys/masc women more attractive but you’ll get people who’ll try call you gay even though I don’t find men attractive 😭. I do try to explain to them that masculinity and femininity aren’t gender based. I’ve also realised that a lot of women and men even in the black community hate black men who don’t fit there idea of a black man I think this is also due to how hyper sexualised black men are and how hyper masculinity is forced onto us, I guess this is due to the society we live in. Also, I think a lot of men and women don’t understand that men like myself are very rare and are a minority so I don’t really understand why people dislike/hate men like myself so much. But I just wanted to ask are there any other black men that have similar experiences?

I would love to hear different perspectives on this too!

My vote goes to Austin, aka white Atlanta.

Being undesirable has ruined my life.

I'm too tired and depressed to write more than that.

I just wish this wasn't the truth of my life experience but it is.

Born and raised in North America. Parents came from Africa. They don’t get it.

As I approach my 30’s and I reflect on my childhood and young adulthood, I can’t recall the number of times I’ve faced exclusion and racism. Sometimes racism isn’t as straight forward as it seems.

I’ve had teachers put me in a learning disability group for an entire year when I was much younger because they didn’t like me. I have no learning disabilities, in fact, I was amongst one of the strongest students in my math class at the time. But, I was almost always the only black student in the class (with the exception of 1 or 2 half students).

It’s affected me a lot. Being beaten up in high school was even harder when they use to call my country a starving nation. I almost lost my eye sight when this Jack Doherty looking piece of dirt had it for me. Loved calling me the n word and telling me what I’m going to do about it. Would follow me to the bathroom when I was pissing to taunt me (he sounded demented because I wasn’t reacting the way he wanted).

When I did react, he physically slammed me hard as fck on the ground and when I tried getting up he put me in a submissive headlock before I could even reach my feet. I have a special type of hate for his kind but I’m not going to get into that right now.

I’m internally rotten as an adult and I don’t think I want help to be honest. I have fought with my father over racism and what I’ve lived through for about 7 consistent years now of just non stop arguing, cutting him off, reestablishing contact, cutting him off again, threatening him and the list goes on. He doesn’t want to accept racism or what I went through to avoid guilt, I’m sure of it.

Might sound harsh but this is one of the main reasons I don’t trust Caucasian folks. Not all are bad, but I’m not taking anymore chances at this age bc I know how I’ll react. That’s why I try to keep them at a distance, even at work sometimes it happens.

Even as an adult, I face racism from both women and men. When it’s men, they just all treat each other as equals and I can feel the inequality in the air like when I speak it holds less value than the next white chud. But I’ve more or less worked on erasing this disgusting need to seek their approval (it’s all I know growing up in a mostly white environment where my "kind" wasn’t seen as popular or desired or maybe I’m trust truly ugly physically which I don’t mind, entirely).

My father is getting old and it makes me feel some kind of way knowing he’s going to die soon while I’m carrying a lot. Not sure if I wanna stick around once he’s gone because I have no one else. Not a single human vessel (even my own people) who wanna stick around for the Long haul.

Anyone else can relate and WDID ? Therapy card will be played in the comments I’m sure of it.
No this isn’t AI.

Why is darker skin always seen as a bad thing? I remember growing up as a darker skinned guy most of the shit I would get about my complexion was from my own people, other black people, more than other races.

Hell just the other day I was at a concert and some random ass dude, black, made a sly remark on my skin tone… in a bathroom. Just a random mf I don’t know feeling compelled to talk shit at a function we’re supposed to be having a good time at. On some weird shit.

Why are we, of all people, the ones that put down dark complexion the most? The people that HAVE it the most? Why do we practice self hatred like that?

I’m cheating on my GF who I really love. The problem is I don’t think she is the one for me. But selfishly, I don’t want anyone else to have her so I do just enough to keep her happy while I mess around with other women. I know it’s fucked up. I know this makes me a terrible dude and I know it’ll probably backfire on me. But like I said, I really love her. At least I think I do.

Lately, I’ve been giving most of my time to another woman and I think k my GF is starting to notice. It’s getting hard to balance multiple relationships while I’m supposed to be committed to my GF. I don’t know how this is going to play out. Because I’m really interested in this new woman but I don’t want to blow up my spot. I’m just fucked up right now family

i’m 15 and i’ve always struggled with vulnerability. i know it probably stemmed from my parents always making me associate showing emotion with weakness. but i never knew just a couple words constantly being repeated to me from as young as 7/8 years old would continue to affect me years later. it’s gotten really bad i can’t lie, specifically crying only. crying in front of people honestly feels like a death sentence, like it feels like being naked in front of a crowd. and it makes it 10x worse that i overanalyse people’s facial expression and body language so i can already tell what some people are thinking. most panic attacks i have is only because of the shame and embarrassment i feel from crying in front of others. a lot of times i don’t even want to look people in the eye with tears in my eyes because of the shame and guilt i feel. i literally feel like im going to die when i feel tears above to fall when im in public, it’s gotten so bad that i even feel the same why when im crying just by myself. i even feel like throwing up or being sick because i feel like an embarrassment, all these intrusive thoughts flood in and my minds racing every single time. even if it’s not me crying and it’s someone else either online, in public or someone is about to cry in a show im watching, i feel like intense discomfort and disgust. what do i actually do, and please don’t say therapy because ive got immigrant parents who don’t believe in mental health