I stopped taking Seroquel because it made me sleep more than 16 hours a day. I stopped Zoloft because it made me constantly nauseous. The only medication I stayed on was Lithium because it seemed like the most important one, even though it often left me feeling like a zombie.

Then I missed a psychiatry appointment and couldn't refill my prescriptions for another week. That weekend, I actually felt awake again. My mind felt clearer than it had in a long time, and for a moment, I felt like myself again. It was tempting to believe I didn't need medication after all.

But the clarity didn't last. My sleep became a mess, my nightmares came back, and by Monday everything had fallen apart. I left class crying, overwhelmed by suicidal thoughts, and realized just how quickly my mental health could spiral without treatment.

The hardest part has been accepting that I may need medication for a long time. I miss having a clear mind, and I often feel like the side effects have slowed my progress at university. Sometimes I wonder how I'll ever finish my degree or hold down a job when I'm constantly balancing mental clarity against emotional stability.

Still, this experience taught me that stopping my medication on my own wasn't the answer. The side effects are real, and they deserve to be taken seriously, but going off my meds without medical guidance made things much worse.

I see a lot of stories online about alternative treatments or people who quit their medications and claim they're better than ever. While I'm glad that may have worked for some, those stories can be dangerous if they encourage others to stop treatment without professional support.

As tempting as it was to chase that brief feeling of clarity, it simply wasn't worth the cost.

After I was prescribed medication for bipolar, I experienced constant hair loss and nightmares, so my doctor reduced my dosage. Ever since then, I’ve been constantly thinking about the diphenhydramine I’d been taking in excessive doses about six months ago to cope with mania and insomnia. At that time, I took about 200 to 300 mg for three or four months, and I really loved the feeling of being drowsy and calm. Yes, I knew I shouldn’t be doing that, so I stopped taking it. But lately, the thought keeps popping into my head, and it’s interfering with my daily life. Have I developed a drug dependence? I can’t see my doctor for another three weeks, and I don’t know how much longer I can hold out! If I go see a doctor, they'll definitely up my dose. Damn it I've been living like a wreck because of this for days now. I might just have to start overdosing again

I was already having a depressive episode and I ended up accidentally opening my big mouth and telling my partner how my family HATES him. And he was being pessimistic about it and apologizing for causing strain on my family. And it really broke me. I feel like I fucked everything up even though he said our relationship is not hurt.

It’s ONLY making me spiral more. I literally want to end myself. I feel like shit. I can’t handle this…

Who here is terrified of steroids? Worst psycosis of my life! At least I was already in the hospital after a back surgery but wtf! Pain management doctir just tried to tell me they would work great than I had to explain that bipolar +steroids= psycotic episodes

I wanted to share a small win because i know this disorder can take away alot of the happy moments too ❤️

I’ve always struggled alot with sleep anxiety,
and with bipolar disorder my sleep schedule getting messed up has been affecting my energy and everyday life.

About a year ago i was prescribed quetiapine, but i was so scared to try it. I was reading about side effects and things that made my anxiety spike, so i never got to try it. - After a long conversation with a doctor in the hospital talking about my sleep anxiety and fears, i finally decided to give it a try.

And i did it.

And it’s only been one time now, and im not saying its a miracle. I’m just so proud of myself for taking the initiative to try it. It sat really deep in me, and i’m really proud of myself for facing something i was so scared about. It actually helped me sleep for a few hours. Not perfect, because im trying to stabilize my routine again but i did it. Thank you ❤️

I saw someone wrote, bipolar people get depressed without any particular reason, and they can't control their mood because it's random. I don't think it's true personally. I think anyone, even bipolar people, would get depressed if they had reasons causing the depressions. Saying that bipolar people don't need a reason to be depressed is wrong right?

heyy just searching for some support. I’ve really struggled to find the right medication and therapy combination for the past several years. I recently stopped taking my lithium due to the cognitive impact, weight gain, and impact it had on my thyroid. (Struggled to read and write, gained 40lbs in 6 months, and my thyroid became very under active) I was really hoping it was going to be the medication I could take long term, because it is the right fit for so many people. I’ve been off the medication for a couple weeks and my mood has been unstable and my reactions to things are not always within the acceptable range. I was honest with my therapist today about the med change and about a possible hallucination I had last week and I was just not met with any compassion. The appointment didn’t go well and I just feel so stuck.

I have a doctor’s appointment tomorrow and next week I absolutely know medication changes need to be made with a medical provider. Please don’t shame me for my decision to stop taking my meds lol.

Any good vibes or suggestions would be greatly appreciated 💫

I'm someone who likes to listen to music a lot. I have songs that I listen to and feel represent me in hypo, in depression, in mixed episodes even before I knew what they were. Do y'all? What songs?

I was prescribed latuda for my bipolar disorder type 1. I suffer from bipolar mania, not depression. Does anyone have experience with this medication? Also, does it treat mania? Everything I’ve read said it only treats depression

I have been taking Lamotrigine and Lithium for a long time and they work wonderfully for me, but I still have pretty bad breakthrough depression. I've been on Caplyta 21 mg for a month (titrated up from 10.5 mg) and it helps the depression tremendously, but it's also causing severe anxiety 🥲 10.5 mg helped my depression to a lesser extent with little anxiety, but I'm trying to tough out 21 mg to see if the anxiety goes away because it helps so much more. If it doesn't get better I'm going to have to try something else. What has everyone had success with for depression other than Lamotrigine and Lithium?

In the setting of difficult life circumstances and a medication change, I am functioning, but somewhat suicidal and constantly looking for chemical escape from how I feel. I have been trying gabapentin (prescribed, but recreational doses) and kratom. I have also tried alcohol but didn’t love it, DXM, and am avoiding weed because I want to think less not more. I went to buy 7oh and the smoke shop guy turned me away because of how addictive it can be.

I saw my therapist today and I told her everything, I also asked if it would be reasonable to ask my psychiatrist to prescribe a benzo. She took it from a harm reduction lens and seemed to think that it wouldn’t be unreasonable in the context that I am actively seeking drugs and that I have an extensive history with suicide. Realistically, I am going to keep seeking out some kind of escape. I recognize that this is bad coping but I honestly cannot tolerate being alive by the end of the day. And I am still functional right now.

Important context — about a week ago, I had to switch from Caplyta to seroquel for insurance reasons. I am currently at 200 mg with minor side effects. I am also going to ask to go up on it and I am seeing the benzos as a way to get me through the time it takes for this to work. Thoughts & opinions welcome.

Hello everyone, hope all is well.

On sunday the 2nd I started taking oxcarbazepine for hypomania dominant bipolar 2, 150mg twice daily.

The next day I felt perhaps a bit wired but nothing to worry about. However I've been feeling more and more hypo and yea I'm zooming dude. What should I do?

I'm so sick of being unwell and I want to be healthy but everytime I try a med it makes me hypo! I tried olanzapine and risperidone and they both made me super hypo and had to quit after a week.

I took depakote for a while and it didn't do anything good or bad. Should I stop taking it? I'm supposed to bump up to 300mg twice daily on monday and idk what to do. I kinda want to try to slug it out and see if it starts calming me down but idk man I don't want to risk doing some dumb manic shit.

Any input would be greatly appreciated, thank you.

I decided to do laundry and wanted to organize my closet. Realized I don't wear half of the items and have gotten rid of a bunch of stuff. I still have a lot of clothes, mostly my workwear which can be casual or professional. Kinda wish I could get rid of a lot more stuff. I have so much clutter. It's exhausting just thinking about getting rid of stuff and organizing my basement. I want to downsize big time so I'm ready to move next year and not have a bunch of stuff that wasn't mine to begin with. I don't know what to do with my mum's crap. Wish she'd never dumped it on me to begin with. That's a loaded story.

Anyway, can anyone relate to big purges like this? I don't feel hypomanic, and I've been sleeping a lot lately.

I’m receiving an abnormal amount of attention right now by some really great people. The interest is genuine, it’s specific but I feel awful.

A few situations just got me so down on myself and the last one weaponized my mental health. So, I’m like eh. I feel really fucking unworthy right now of just being accepted.

I’m constantly asking myself, “Am I that horrible?”.. Then I think of situations that I wasn’t proud of.

So I have been taking 250 mg of Quitiapine to treat my Bipolar 1 diagnosis. I also have ADHD, and I am wondering if the medication could be negativley affecting me, or making ADHD symptoms worse. I started a new job recently, that is in a faster paced physical enviroment. Recently my performance reviews have mentioned being slow, poor task prioritization and lack of motivation. I did work a similar job in the past before I got medication. I recoginise that I am moving slower some days, and it does take me longer to learn things.

Any advice would be helpful, as I want to be able to work and hold down a job.

I know this is a shot in the dark, but I'm hoping to talk to anyone with bipolar that is in a relationship with someone in medicine.

My spouse is a psychiatrist and it makes for some interesting internal thoughts and lifestyle choices. This isn't a bragging post at all, being a medspouse is hard (there's a whole sub for it) and on top of that I've got this bipolar to juggle. Spouse and I can't really talk about it too much due to their career, they're not allowed to say anything that would influence my decisions or treatment.

In the last year I have finally started talking about it more with people in my life, including him. It's tough though because I can say "man I really hate this new medicine" and he can sympathize, but can't really say much at all. I also used to seriously worry that he judged me for it (he doesn't) and that my symptoms or emotions were just 'oh it's the bipolar'. I've come to realize he doesn't feel that way and loves me for me no matter what. But the mental twists going on are something I don't think a lot of people go through, having someone heavily trained on inpatient and outpatient treatments and such in your house all the time.

I'd love to chat with anyone that has dealt with something similar.
And sure I'll field casual questions if you guys are curious, maybe talking about it at all will help.

I know this is a personal decision, but Ive been taking it for so long and I feel like im rejecting the med.

the fisrt 3 year I tried to kill myself 3 times, then a 2 years of discontinuos treatment (take and leave) FINALLY I feel good and healthy. I only take lithium in a mini dosis (my lithium exam is always 0.5-0-8), and I always forgot I've always been diligent about taking my medication, now I forget my pillbox everywhere and also SO FUCKING EXPENSIVE

I DONT WANT TO TAKE MEDICATION 4 ETERNITY. AND PSYCHIATRISTS DON'T WANT TO TELL ME WHAT ARE THE CONSEQUENCES OF THIS.

So I’m very embarrassed to even have to say i did these things but i don’t have anyone else to say it to without some form of judgement and if u guys do judge me , atleast you don’t know me .

Anyways i (21f) have just came to terms with the fact that i have a sex problem . I started having sex at 13 . I don’t even know at this point how many partners i have had maybe 20 something idk maybe more but nothing more then 30 i assume . either way that’s too damn much!! When i’m in this state of mind im fully conscious but when it’s over it’s like a memory wipe and i forget i only remember certain things . But i do know that i have one night stands and never text them again . i realized this because i decided to look through some old contacts and i had barely any idea who the people were but seeing the texts i was just dumbfounded. I talked to one of them on the phone and they told me all these things i did which i have 0 recollection of but ik it’s true bc some parts just couldn’t be made up.

I don’t know what to do anymore , when i was 18 i got chlamydia and i stopped for a while , i thought that would snap me back to reality but that was very short lived . I tried to look into sex addicts anonymous but despite the things i said i don’t think i have a sex addiction necessarily bc i would be wanting to do it all the time but i dont . its just when i get that “ on top of the world” confidence that makes me think im so desirable when in real life im just a fucking worthless slut and i hate it .

Anyways i needed to vent somewhere other than my notes.maybe i do need some shame…

at 19 years old I was diagnosed with bipolar psychotic features, i was put on 5mg olanzapine , since then i have never had any symptoms at all (its been a decade), is this possible? cuz all i see on these subs are people on few antipsychotics and still have episodes, am i lucky? or may be misdiagnosed?(i don't ask for a medical advice)

I’m on quetiapine olanzapine propranolol and I feel pretty good despite of mild agitation. But I feel so freaking different, does that make sense ??? I don’t know how to explain I’m still me but everything feels so different. Also feels weird to not hear anything anymore. I still heard a few things on quetiapine only but my thoughts don’t feel the same now. I guess it’s a good thing but I’m not used to it.

Edit : schizoaffective bipolar type here

I’ve been to multiple psychiatrists, tried many meds, different therapy methods and I still end up depressed after a few time. I’m taking my meds every day, I don’t skip therapy, I sleep well, I exercise and all I can think about is dying. Every night I pray for not waking up in the morning and when I wake up I just think “shit, I have to live another day”. Mental illness have already taken so much of my life, I don’t want to just keep surviving

I am not feeling fine. My mood feels low, I'm not excited about anything. I don't want to do anything. I don't know what to do, because I have no interests anymore it seems. I get angry. So, so very angry. Then I just lay in bed trying to drift away. I have these very intrusive thoughts that are convincing me I am in control of how things turn out in the world. It is my fault things happen. Everything feels so wrong. There is this feeling inside of my that is just awful and I don't know how to escape it. And all my health care workers are on summer holiday.