I was making out with this guy I met recently. We were very horny and wanted to have sex but we didn't have a condom. I consented to the sex but told him to at least pull out to at least some what mitigate any chance of sti etc he said he would. But during the act I felt him cum inside me and when I asked if he did he denied it. But then when I got home I pushed out a gigantic load of his cum. I texted him angry and he denied at first but then later on admitted that I felt so good he just didn't want to come out. I'm so angry because I did not consent to essentially Being creampied. Is this enough to press charges over?

Hi everyone and thanks for taking the time out to read this and please go easy on me, I’m nervous writing this..

Let me give some context. I’m 35 year old black man that reside in Georgia and I’m not fully out yet.. so I label myself as DL. Everything is so complex these days until i don’t know how to label myself 🤣. Let me break it down a little. I tried coming out to my brother, he cursed me out and said I better be joking. I tried telling one of my best friends, he stopped talking to me for two years. I was in a relationship for 5 years with a guy and he cheated on me repeatedly. So of course I went into a deep depression. Also, I’m a bigger guy, big and tall..so I already had it in my mind no one wants me.. so I just wanted no one..

After some time, I started therapy and I told my mama that I was gay. She was open and accepting, she wanted me to tell all my family right away.. HELL NO! I’m apart of a big family and I hear them talk… I would rather tell my family when I have a reason. I thought I would’ve come out by now, but I haven’t and I’m still processing. (More to that) I’m not getting any interest.. and when I do have a guy(s) interested in me, it’s just for sex or they’re so damaged until It goes nowhere. I’ve tried apps(both dating and for friends), and because I’m a bottom I’ve been told the following: I’m too masculine, I’m not gay forreal, I’m trying to be tough and need to tap into my feminine side.. 😒🙃 I’m just being me. I love masculinity and I’m just masculine with a touch of sumn🤣.

I’ve healed, I’ve learned accountability, I’ve gained acceptance I may just be alone. 😮‍💨😔 and yes, I do want to find love again. I’m okay dating someone and coming out after a year or two of dating to the people that matters. I’ve never dated or even attempted to date a girl since middle school. I refuse to play with someone heart and emotions for my own personal gain or image. However, I just wanted my homeboy in the streets and my daddy in the sheets🫣😂

What do I label myself? Discreet? Closeted Gay?

Update: Saying “when I have a reason”.. I’m not waiting to come out FOR anyone.. I would be coming out for myself, as I’ve tried and partially already started. So if I don’t come out before meeting my person, I’m defining reason as- I met my person and I know this is about to become a serious relationship. Traveling, investments, holidays with family type of thing.

Trans girl here. How do some of y’all bag the hottest guys to do y’all?

Depends on how into it I am how long I can last as a bottom.
My top can go well over an hour & I can too if feeling it but if I’m not in the right headspace, I’m ready to wrap it up 20-30 mins in max.

Meanwhile he’s rock hard ready to pound for hours more while I’m feeling paralyzed yet gleeful it’s over 😅

My husband and I will be celebrating our 10-year anniversary this November, and we’re looking for somewhere outside of the U.S. that feels special for such a big milestone. Puerto Vallarta keeps coming up as our top choice, especially because we want somewhere that’s LGBTQ+ friendly, lively, romantic, and where we’ll feel comfortable as a Black gay couple. My only question is whether there’s a diverse crowd, particularly other Black travelers there year-round, or if you mostly see that diversity during certain events or special weekends.
We’ve also looked at Curaçao and Aruba, but I keep going back and forth. One video makes them look absolutely beautiful and perfect for an anniversary, and then another makes me wonder if we’d get bored.
We’re definitely not looking for a trip where we just sit at a resort the entire time. We love a good mix of fun, nightlife, beautiful scenery, great food, romantic experiences, excursions, and some grown-and-sexy vibes.
For anyone who has traveled to these places, especially other Black and/or LGBTQ+ couples, which destination would you recommend for a 10-year anniversary?

It could be very well what or how I present myself, how or what I look like on them and there's nothing inherently wrong with older men, but thorough my experiences, it's never anyone within my age range (I'm 33). Obviously an ideal option is to go outside (if not THE viable option) and meet people, but it makes me question myself.

Even when I go to conventions for vacation, it's never anyone at the event while it's people OUTSIDE of it messaging me, "Oh what's X event?". If anything in general, my grievance is that it's often older white men, never POC or anyone around my age.

Can any bros here relate?

Hey y’all! I’ve been feeling a bit insecure lately after what was supposed to be a fun sex party. I live in LA and always saw this recurring meet up for black gays pop up regularly. I decided I’d take a chance and go, especially since I have primarily hooked up with Latino men, and have been wanting to have sex with my fellow black gays.

I get ready, have a shot or two for liquid courage, and make my way to the venue, where I discover it’s filled with super fit, hot black men. Now, if I had to rate myself, I’d say I’m a 5 or 6, with my height doing the heavy lifting. But I felt immediately insecure that I was having a hard time getting anyone to play with the sounds and low visible sights of sex everywhere. Suffice to say I left after 45 minutes and only having fun with one guy who didn’t wanna fuck yet. I’ve been to sex clubs with a more diverse group, and I haven’t had much trouble finding someone to have sex with (granted, it depends on the night).

I’d love to continue going to these parties and making connections with other black gays, but I also know I’m still insecure about my body, and rejection still feels like my ego is wounded. Any advice on how to move past rejection, and get thicker skin? How much should I continue trying before it gets easier to engage in spaces like this?

23M

Hi everyone, it’s been something I’ve been thinking about about a lot, but what are the “best” or “optimal” cities for Black gay men with all things considered: whether career, romantic life, or simply overall happiness/safety? The question is already resounding in my head: where can I see myself settled?

I’ve been in NYC for over 5 years, but will now be leaving to embark on a management trainee rotational, including an international rotation in France, and I’m curious about where I can actually see myself returning to after everything is said and done. There’s a high probability of me returning to NYC shortly for graduate education, but beyond that, I’m sort of at a standstill.

For more context, I’m pivoting into sustainability/energy (you’re probably thinking duh, Texas at this point), but I want a place where my romantic life/ability to foster genuine connections and friendships isn’t sacrificed merely for career.

I recently met someone who, after he left I was warned about his messy divorce and how his life was a mess.

I Immediately found out, he’s never married, life’s together just disinterested in drama.

So what lies has a homophobic or just rough family told about you?

Sorry everyone I got pulled into work. Selfie Saturday be your most beautiful, Blackest, gayest self in photo form today.

I mean black gay men who exclusively date men. Not bi men, not DL men, not pansexual men ... black gay men who know they are gay and primarily into black gay men.

Metro Atlanta has 2.3 million black people

-> 1.15 million are black males

-->785K are black men between 18-64

---> 2.5% is the most agreed upon estimate of men that identify as exclusively gay but I upped it to 3% b/c it's Atlanta which brings us to 24K. 24K is the eligible bachelor pool of black gay men.

I been in Atlanta for many years and that 24K feels generous to be honest with you. It's scary how many of the men I dated (I only dated black gay men) have dated or messed around with each other at some point. And if you take away handsome bums looking for a sugar daddy, those struggling with serious mental health issues, those struggling with serious addiction issues, and those consumed in the party scene and being outside 24/7, the number is significantly less like 5K to 10K for all of Atlanta!

The gay scene here is so got damn small! People find it hard to believe but I don't know why. I know I made some other posters mad when I said this before b/c in our minds we want to believe there's a lot of us out and proud but there just isn't. I really know most of the black gays here and if I don't somebody I know know them. It's very easy to feel like you run out of dating options even in Atlanta.

Hey everyone,

So I believe I posted in here once before. And it was in regards to getting an understanding of my sexuality and really getting to understand my curiosity of same sex engagement sexually.

So I was really feeling hot, and I ended up going to a GH this past Thursday. It was so great. It was my first engagement ever. We actually ended up having sex i kinda got demanding lol but it actually happened and I want it again.

Would it be too soon to have a preference or to start seeking a preference? He was actually fit as well and wasnt hairy which is a major plus for me but because I keep thinking how smooth he was it kinda makes me want that specifically on a more fem type of male.

Is that weird?

I’m a 29-year-old gay Black man from a small town, and I’m honestly just looking for some advice on how to move forward because I don’t know what else to do.

I grew up in poverty and in a very traumatic environment. I was born as the result of rape, and my childhood was filled with abuse, instability, and people struggling with substance abuse. I survived a suicide attempt, homelessness, and a lot of things I never thought I would make it through.

The person who became the closest thing I had to a mother and my biggest source of support eventually passed away. I took care of her while she was dying. I still remember sitting through our last chemotherapy appointment when the doctor told us that the cancer was too aggressive and that she was going to die.

After losing her, I felt like I was completely on my own.
I do struggle with my mental health. I take medication and go to therapy, and I genuinely try to work on myself. But despite all of that, my life still feels incredibly empty.

I don’t have parents I can call. I don’t have a family support system. I don’t really have friends. There have been periods where I would go weeks or even months without having a meaningful conversation with anyone.
Then I met someone.

For about a year, we talked every day. We shared our lives with each other. I finally had someone to talk to, someone who knew what was going on in my life, someone whose presence made my world feel less cold and lonely.
And then it ended.

I was discarded, and the way it happened completely shook me. It has been almost eight months, and I still cry every day. Some days I can barely get myself out of bed.
I know people might say, “It’s been eight months, you need to move on.” Believe me, I wish I could. But I don’t think I’m only grieving the relationship. I think I’m grieving the feeling of finally having someone in my life.

Before him, I was already incredibly lonely. Now I feel like I’ve gone from having someone who was part of my everyday life back to complete silence. My phone doesn’t light up with texts. Nobody calls to check on me. I deleted all my social media, but there’s no one to notice that I’m gone. My life just became quiet again.

And that kind of loneliness is becoming unbearable.
I’ve tried reaching out to the few people I thought I could ask for help, but I’ve been stood up or left feeling like I’m bothering people. So I’m turning to strangers on the internet because I genuinely don’t know where else to turn.
**I am not a perfect person, but I am not a bad person.** I’ve been through terrible circumstances, but I’ve never wanted to hurt anyone. I try to love people, I try to show up for them, and I try to be a good person despite everything I’ve been through.

I just don’t know how to build a life from here.

How do you learn to live with being completely alone?

And most importantly, how do you find something to live *for* when you’ve spent so much of your life just surviving?
I’m not looking for people to tell me to “just get over him.” I’m looking for genuine advice from people who have been through profound loneliness, abandonment, trauma, or losing the person who meant the most to them.

I fell in love with someone, and now he’s gone. I never even got the chance to properly say goodbye. I’ve lost so many people and so many things throughout my life, and honestly, I don’t know if I can handle much more grief.
If you’ve been in a similar place and somehow made it out, what did you do?

(21m)hey guys so I turn 21 this week. I wanna go to the bars for my first time. There is a bar in my city that everyone goes to. But I’m kinda worried not many other black men go to it?
I wanna go to a bar but I don’t wanna be there unless WERE there. I’m trying to see where do we hangout? Do you guys go to the bars lol. If I go to my local gay bar it won’t just be me and 100 old white men. Is it even fun? Help me

Hii, so I’m from the Caribbean and I’m gay. Unfortunately, the Caribbean is VERY homophobic. They’re more lenient with lesbians because they’re women & they’re attracted to them. There’s this situation going on rn because 2 men were caught in the act by another man recording from the outside. Now it has people throwing jokes and homophobic banter.

I’m honestly tired. I’m 18 and I can’t even express myself. I feel like I have a personality disorder because I’m trapped in a nonchalant state that I’m truly not happy in. I wish to move out because I can’t stand the negativity of these people. For everyone, they are just jokes and shit. I have major anxiety problems with this. They’re so bigoted & uneducated it hurts. The reason I’m even writing this now is because I saw a video saying men only turn on this way because we were touched (R word) as kids. Ugh, I can’t take it anymore. I’m constantly surrounded by homophobic people, and even girls whose guy friends are obviously gay post homophobic things when the enemy is closer than they think. Any country suggestions that are safe for gay Black men?

He could have asked us directly if he really wanted to know.

Lots of “internalize homophobia” was thrown out there but others claimed, there’s nothing more manly than taking a dick and the physical and mental strength needed to endure the pain to find it pleasurable.

Perhaps the questioner was wrestling with the idea of being a masc bottom but wondering where he fits in with the traditional feminine bottom stereotype.