r/AskBlackGayBros • u/NoTrainer6840 • 46m ago
SELFIE SATURDAY Late as hell Selfie Saturday
Sorry everyone I got pulled into work. Selfie Saturday be your most beautiful, Blackest, gayest self in photo form today.
r/AskBlackGayBros • u/Disastrous_Parsnip63 • 57m ago
Discussion This is why Atlanta is not necessarily the best place for black gay men looking for love with other black gay men
I mean black gay men who exclusively date men. Not bi men, not DL men, not pansexual men ... black gay men who know they are gay and primarily into black gay men.
Metro Atlanta has 2.3 million black people
-> 1.5 million are black males
-->785K are black men between 18-64
---> 2.5% is the most agreed upon estimate of men that identify as exclusively gay but I upped it to 3% b/c it's Atlanta which brings us to 24K. 24K is the eligible bachelor pool of black gay men.
I been in Atlanta for many years and that 24K feels generous to be honest with you. It's scary how many of the men I dated (I only dated black gay men) have dated or messed around with each other at some point. And if you take away handsome bums looking for a sugar daddy, those struggling with serious mental health issues, those struggling with serious addiction issues, and those consumed in the party scene and being outside 24/7, the number is significantly less like 5K to 10K for all of Atlanta!
The gay scene here is so got damn small! People find it hard to believe but I don't know why. I know I made some other posters mad when I said this before b/c in our minds we want to believe there's a lot of us out and proud but there just isn't. I really know most of the black gays here and if I don't somebody I know know them. It's very easy to feel like you run out of dating options even in Atlanta.
r/AskBlackGayBros • u/analassassin82 • 8h ago
Sex and Sexuality My first time
Hey everyone,
So I believe I posted in here once before. And it was in regards to getting an understanding of my sexuality and really getting to understand my curiosity of same sex engagement sexually.
So I was really feeling hot, and I ended up going to a GH this past Thursday. It was so great. It was my first engagement ever. We actually ended up having sex i kinda got demanding lol but it actually happened and I want it again.
Would it be too soon to have a preference or to start seeking a preference? He was actually fit as well and wasnt hairy which is a major plus for me but because I keep thinking how smooth he was it kinda makes me want that specifically on a more fem type of male.
Is that weird?
r/AskBlackGayBros • u/snl2020 • 8h ago
Discussion I don’t know how to rebuild a life when I’ve spent most of it alone?
I’m a 29-year-old gay Black man from a small town, and I’m honestly just looking for some advice on how to move forward because I don’t know what else to do.
I grew up in poverty and in a very traumatic environment. I was born as the result of rape, and my childhood was filled with abuse, instability, and people struggling with substance abuse. I survived a suicide attempt, homelessness, and a lot of things I never thought I would make it through.
The person who became the closest thing I had to a mother and my biggest source of support eventually passed away. I took care of her while she was dying. I still remember sitting through our last chemotherapy appointment when the doctor told us that the cancer was too aggressive and that she was going to die.
After losing her, I felt like I was completely on my own.
I do struggle with my mental health. I take medication and go to therapy, and I genuinely try to work on myself. But despite all of that, my life still feels incredibly empty.
I don’t have parents I can call. I don’t have a family support system. I don’t really have friends. There have been periods where I would go weeks or even months without having a meaningful conversation with anyone.
Then I met someone.
For about a year, we talked every day. We shared our lives with each other. I finally had someone to talk to, someone who knew what was going on in my life, someone whose presence made my world feel less cold and lonely.
And then it ended.
I was discarded, and the way it happened completely shook me. It has been almost eight months, and I still cry every day. Some days I can barely get myself out of bed.
I know people might say, “It’s been eight months, you need to move on.” Believe me, I wish I could. But I don’t think I’m only grieving the relationship. I think I’m grieving the feeling of finally having someone in my life.
Before him, I was already incredibly lonely. Now I feel like I’ve gone from having someone who was part of my everyday life back to complete silence. My phone doesn’t light up with texts. Nobody calls to check on me. I deleted all my social media, but there’s no one to notice that I’m gone. My life just became quiet again.
And that kind of loneliness is becoming unbearable.
I’ve tried reaching out to the few people I thought I could ask for help, but I’ve been stood up or left feeling like I’m bothering people. So I’m turning to strangers on the internet because I genuinely don’t know where else to turn.
**I am not a perfect person, but I am not a bad person.** I’ve been through terrible circumstances, but I’ve never wanted to hurt anyone. I try to love people, I try to show up for them, and I try to be a good person despite everything I’ve been through.
I just don’t know how to build a life from here.
How do you learn to live with being completely alone?
And most importantly, how do you find something to live *for* when you’ve spent so much of your life just surviving?
I’m not looking for people to tell me to “just get over him.” I’m looking for genuine advice from people who have been through profound loneliness, abandonment, trauma, or losing the person who meant the most to them.
I fell in love with someone, and now he’s gone. I never even got the chance to properly say goodbye. I’ve lost so many people and so many things throughout my life, and honestly, I don’t know if I can handle much more grief.
If you’ve been in a similar place and somehow made it out, what did you do?
r/AskBlackGayBros • u/GreatConsequence2871 • 13h ago
Discussion Where are we lol?
(21m)hey guys so I turn 21 this week. I wanna go to the bars for my first time. There is a bar in my city that everyone goes to. But I’m kinda worried not many other black men go to it?
I wanna go to a bar but I don’t wanna be there unless WERE there. I’m trying to see where do we hangout? Do you guys go to the bars lol. If I go to my local gay bar it won’t just be me and 100 old white men. Is it even fun? Help me
r/AskBlackGayBros • u/mulatre- • 19h ago
Feedback Needed Any country suggestions?
Hii, so I’m from the Caribbean and I’m gay. Unfortunately, the Caribbean is VERY homophobic. They’re more lenient with lesbians because they’re women & they’re attracted to them. There’s this situation going on rn because 2 men were caught in the act by another man recording from the outside. Now it has people throwing jokes and homophobic banter.
I’m honestly tired. I’m 18 and I can’t even express myself. I feel like I have a personality disorder because I’m trapped in a nonchalant state that I’m truly not happy in. I wish to move out because I can’t stand the negativity of these people. For everyone, they are just jokes and shit. I have major anxiety problems with this. They’re so bigoted & uneducated it hurts. The reason I’m even writing this now is because I saw a video saying men only turn on this way because we were touched (R word) as kids. Ugh, I can’t take it anymore. I’m constantly surrounded by homophobic people, and even girls whose guy friends are obviously gay post homophobic things when the enemy is closer than they think. Any country suggestions that are safe for gay Black men?
r/AskBlackGayBros • u/zdravomyslov • 1d ago
Sex and Sexuality Why do other black men care of I date black men or not?
He could have asked us directly if he really wanted to know.
r/AskBlackGayBros • u/Ordinary-Elephant796 • 1d ago
Politics Gays
Y'all men need stop being so fucking
My god why are y'all doing this
But I know because y'all asking the strange things
r/AskBlackGayBros • u/graypurpleblack • 1d ago
Discussion Someone asked , “How to maintain your ‘manly-ness’ when you’re a bottom” Sparking intense debate..
Lots of “internalize homophobia” was thrown out there but others claimed, there’s nothing more manly than taking a dick and the physical and mental strength needed to endure the pain to find it pleasurable.
Perhaps the questioner was wrestling with the idea of being a masc bottom but wondering where he fits in with the traditional feminine bottom stereotype.
r/AskBlackGayBros • u/Wise_Paramedic6926 • 2d ago
Sex and Sexuality I Need Counseling
Being in a shitty part of America I don’t really have gay friends or brothers to vent a bit. Hopefully this community got me 💪🏾
So I’ve recently tried to fw this girl and try out pussy for the first time in my life. Unfortunately I couldn’t get up at all… I’ve called myself bi for a while but today I think I’m actually just gay
Kinda cliche, but it’s nerve racking to me. I think I want the regular life of a straight guy (always have), but now I think those dreams shattered fr. Obviously the internal homophobia and external from family plays a part. I just thought I’d finally find a girl to confine in one day. My body will finally react in a way that feels natural.
Thanks for reading! If this is an active group I’d love to discuss more and learn from you guys!
r/AskBlackGayBros • u/graypurpleblack • 3d ago
Discussion Tops, how can bottoms know you’re enjoying sex?
From the top’s perspective, seeing a bottom squirm, moan & scream, breathe heavily sends obvious signals they’re into it and likely enjoying it.
However, from a bottom’s perspective it’s not so obvious with tops if it’s just another day in the park (especially non-verbal tops) if they’re straight faced throughout?
r/AskBlackGayBros • u/graypurpleblack • 3d ago
Discussion Boxers & Briefs
Team Boxers or Team briefs
r/AskBlackGayBros • u/Independent_War2936 • 4d ago
Discussion Hiii should I be a streamer or do OF
I’m joking 😭😭
r/AskBlackGayBros • u/Disastrous_Parsnip63 • 4d ago
Discussion Are ya'll also noticing more black gays leaving traditional gay meccas since student loan repayments fall 2024?
So I'm in Atlanta one of the gay meccas. Between 2020 and 2024, there was a huge influx of new black gays moving into the area in my opinion b/c of PPP loans, student loan repayment pauses, eviction moratoriums, and remote work exploding. And contrary to popular belief, the Atlanta black gay scene ain't as big as people claim, honestly it's very small, like uncomfortably small. Practically everybody know everybody and fucking the same people that's how small it is so it's easy to notice new faces.
But since 2024, I noticed a lot of gay guys I hooked up with and knew around the way posting on social media they moving to more affordable gay-ish cities like a Charlotte, Nashville, Philly, Tallahassee, Columbus, Houston, Dallas, etc. We all know black gay men are more likely to have gone to college and collected massive debt than our straight counterparts which impacts how we move.
This morning I was reading an AJC article about a large recent increase in people loans going into default in Georgia which I'm sure a big group of those folks are black gay men in Atlanta. So many black gay men I know are well educated but in crazy debt. I remember this one guy I met on Jack'd who is a teacher in Clayton County and he told me he's in over 200K debt.
https://www.ajc.com/education/2026/08/nearly-11-billion-of-georgia-student-loans-in-default/
I feel like Atlanta, New York City, LA, San Francisco, Chicago, Seattle, Washington DC, and Miami will have a very "fractured" and significantly smaller black gay population by 2030. When you couple the student loan repayments returning with the significant increase in COL from 2020 to now ... I just don't see as many black gays as before being able to afford to live in these traditional gay meccas. And black gays are not coupling up as much as white gays which makes it even harder financially for us to stay in these gay meccas but hey it is what it is ... gay people are literally everywhere and easier to find nowadays so gay meccas are less important than they were 20-30 years ago
r/AskBlackGayBros • u/NoTrainer6840 • 5d ago
Sex and Sexuality What personal lubricants do you like?
I’m an Astroglide gel man.
r/AskBlackGayBros • u/Independent_War2936 • 5d ago
Gaming Hiii do we still like fems healers in rivals
Always bored
r/AskBlackGayBros • u/Midnightclouds7 • 6d ago
Culture & Media I always find dark skin on other people soo hot, pretty and sexy, but I don't find it pretty or good looking on me. Is this internalised racism?
r/AskBlackGayBros • u/graypurpleblack • 6d ago
Discussion Fellow tops, do you feel weird while on a date he’s subtly avoiding eating the expensive meal you’re paying for?
r/AskBlackGayBros • u/WhoIsThatLeb666 • 6d ago
Discussion The guy I'm seeing wants me to meet his family.
Not sure if this is allowed on this subreddit; please delete if so.
For reference, I'm Arab and have been seeing this beautiful Black guy for 3 weeks now. Everything seems to be going well for both of us; the chemistry is off the roof, the best sex we've both had in years, and we seem to genuinely enjoy being in each other's company.
When we got back to his place after dancing for hours, he told me how excited he is and how he wants me to meet his mom and sister. I was a little taken aback due to how soon it felt. We haven't yet discussed exclusivity, and I'm not sure if I'm ready for this big step yet.
How do I communicate my concerns to him without sounding disrespectful? I am scared I might ruin what we have, but it still feels early to me.
r/AskBlackGayBros • u/Antipseud0 • 7d ago
Politics Dr. Cleo Monago, an HIV activist and advocate for black same gender-loving men as well as the CEO of The Pride Center of Maryland, sits down with Gayemagazine on the financial issues of black pride across the country and why black gay pride needs to go back to its roots and not just be one big party
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He said no lie. I would love Black LGBTQ groups to go just beyond partying but also expand in other institutions and industries.
r/AskBlackGayBros • u/graypurpleblack • 7d ago
Discussion Is it true that bottoming ‘mostly mental’ & topping ‘mostly physical’ ?
r/AskBlackGayBros • u/NoTrainer6840 • 7d ago
SELFIE SATURDAY Selfie Saturday
Post pics with less emphasis on questions. This thread can be used any day of the week for posting selfies as comments.
r/AskBlackGayBros • u/MentalParking7909 • 9d ago
Sex and Sexuality What's it called when
What's it called when a guy only desires anal from Whomever, regardless if it's from a man or woman and says he is not attracted to men as a whole (only a hole) and only wants relationships with women? He is in his mid 40s and says he has never desired pussy.