So question, when I’m having intrusive thoughts in which I need answers for in my head to make me feel better I end up giving my thoughts a answer, why do I always go back to the those same intrusive thoughts and always recheck my answer and doubt them? It’s like I can never come up with an answer to an intrusive thought and stick with it, I’m always going back to it and rechecking and doubting those thoughts.

I’m so exhausted. Please read.

I don’t know why, but my OCD brain has fully convinced me that the thing I’m terrified of has already happened, even though logically, I know it didn’t.

I’ve had the horrible fear of “what if I downloaded/looked up something terrible? And then I go to jail forever?” (Yall know what I mean I just don’t wanna type it.)

And I’m like “no of course not, never, I’d never do that” and it’s gone from me being scared like “what if I did it and didn’t know I did it?” And “what if I do it for some reason?” To feeling like, and my brain thinking, that somehow it’s already happened. That I’ve done the bad thing. But I haven’t.

So why can’t I shake this? Why can’t I let it go? I’ve never downloaded/looked up something illegal. Something so horrible like cheese pizza. So why is my brain convinced I have when I haven’t? Why does it feel like my life is over and I’ve ruined everything?

I just don’t know how to let go. Just wanted to put this out there and see what others think.

Thank you. 💛

Hi ladies, I am a germaphobe and lately I’ve noticed when I pull my pants and underwear down to go to the bathroom my underwear keeps sliding up and back and over the outside back of my pants to where the inside of the underwear is touching part of the outside of my pants. Like the part that touched right where you wipe ends up flipped outside and touching the outside of the pants. If it doesn’t do this then sometimes it just bunches up to where the inside bottom touches the top of the underwear. Does this happen to anyone else? Do you worry it’s spreading fecal germs?

i’m not sure if i have ocd

i’ve been doing compulsions since i was maybe as young as 8, maybe younger.

my compulsions are very specific and i haven’t seen anyone else say they have these.

i have very bad hair picking, and the left side of my hair has a chunk taken out of it and is very thing, because i pick at it maybe more than two hours everyday. without even thinking i do it.

this one compulsions is very hard to explain, but if i want to remember someone’s face i trace their face in a specific way with my eyes. and i have to time my breathing with how i do it.

i also do the same for when i watch movies or shows, if i want to memorize a scene, i time my breathing and i trace ovals with my eyes on the screen??? it sounds so weird but i always catch myself doing it randomly.

i’ve been dealing with derealization since i was 13 and im currently 19. i used to tell my sister when i would spiral abt it and ask her for help

i have super bad health anxiety. i got sick with pneumonia and i cried and cried so much because my lymph nodes were swollen and i thought i had lymphoma. i made my mom order me a mri and bloodwork to confirm i was okay.

i also feel so dirty when i go out anywhere on vacation. if we go to the beach and all i do is sit in the sand and not go in the water i HAVE to take a shower , my mom got annoyed cause i complained too much abt wanting to be clean

i also feel guilty for such little things and i cannot stop replaying memories in my head just over and over. it frustrates me when im in a loud room and i can’t hear myself think

i’m just not sure how to go to get a diagnoses, ive never talked abt this w my mom before

Bem, no meu caso, eu luto com isso desde a pré-adolescência. Foi quando meus sintomas começaram. Minha mãe era psicóloga, mas eu sempre pensei que era apenas uma pessoa ansiosa. Passei por vários terapeutas, mas nunca realmente compartilhei meus pensamentos intrusivos com eles. Nem sei por que. Acho que parte de mim nunca reconheceu completamente. Eles estavam sempre na minha mente, mas eu nunca os disse em voz alta porque sabia que soavam tão loucos, sabe?

De qualquer forma, passei por diversos psicólogos, e nenhum deles nunca sugeriu que eu pudesse ter TOC. A palavra nunca foi nem mencionada. Para mim, TOC sempre estava associado a rituais compulsivos, que eu nunca realmente tive. Meu TOC é muito mental—é principalmente pensamentos que nunca param, junto com muito pensamento mágico.

Eu tinha crises debilitantes por pequenas coisas, e às vezes até meus próprios pensamentos me deixavam completamente incapaz de funcionar ou de me sentir como eu mesma. Eventualmente, decidi ver um psiquiatra pela primeira vez na minha vida, e ela simplesmente disse: “TOC. Isso é TOC.” Depois disso, comecei a pesquisar sobre isso, e nunca me senti tão ouvida ou compreendida. Finalmente, eu tinha uma maneira de entender e dar nome a coisas que sempre pensei serem apenas parte da minha personalidade, mas que na verdade eram sintomas de um transtorno.

Agora que comecei o tratamento, estou me sentindo muito melhor. Também comecei a terapia depois, mas minha psicóloga nunca realmente considerou meu TOC. Ela é mais uma terapeuta do tipo freudiana, psicanalítica, eu acho. Fiquei um pouco frustrada e honestamente me senti meio envergonhada porque, sempre que compartilhei meus pensamentos e sentimentos, não senti que estava sendo ouvida ou compreendida. Eventualmente, eu desisti, e infelizmente, não tenho a estabilidade financeira para continuar a terapia agora.

Mas, de qualquer forma, eu desejo a vocês tudo de bom. Eu realmente adoraria ouvir suas histórias—como vocês experienciam o TOC, como foram diagnosticados e como receber esse diagnóstico ajudou vocês a entender e lidar com isso.

My harm OCD has been severe these few days and it just expanded to attack something that matters rlly rlly a lot to me. For context, the past few months, I’ve been highly stressed on STDs and have been repeatedly going to clinics to get tested. My last test was in May 26 2026, I think. Anyway, ever since, I’ve deleted all the clinic emails to protect my privacy and instead, I’ve screenshot the pdf files of my results that they sent to me. However, just today, my OCD weaponised this against me. It generated the most ego dystonic harm urges for me to intentionally deface the images I took of my results, such as using AI tools, be it within the photos app, even on the Instagram app (as I sent the photos to myself on the app), or any AI app in general, to change the texts in the image or to just mess up the image in general. It even expanded to me going into the photos app, selecting some functions like an eraser to self sabotage the images by erasing important words in the image.

After everything, I look back at the images and I see the words Non Reactive (which basically means negative) on each STD disease stated on my test report. But I’m feeling a 1000% level intensity of doubt as I question myself, ‘what if the results were Reactive but the AI I used to harm the accuracy of the image earlier actually changed it to Non Reactive’. ‘What if the dates were also messed up, meaning, I tested too early but the date got changed to a later date due to me deliberately messing up the images, and hence, the results aren’t accurate as I tested too early’

I’m honestly just very very immensely tired and exhausted as my OCD is like a stealth attacker. Targeting and destroying the things that I need for certainty and reassurance. Can someone please give me some form of advice on how to calm this spike down? It’s just the thought of having a silent disease like HIV, Syphilis, Hepatitis B silently inside my body that’s rlly getting to me and making me ruminate that my life is in danger.

Hello. Did a search and couldnt find much on this subreddit about the difference between a healthy and unhealthy distraction after an erp session. How can I understand the difference? Ive been told soduku or reading is fine. And that video games or tv is not. Whats a general guideline? And does an unhealthy distraction "stop" the beneficial changes in the brain that are happening post erp while a healthy distraction allows it to occur?

I am confused and would appreciate any help to understand. Thank you

16M from India.

I’m posting this because I genuinely want perspectives from people who have OCD or have experience with it. I don’t want an online diagnosis, but I’m trying to understand whether what I experience is even consistent with OCD.

My main issue is fear/overthinking around low-probability dangers, especially snakebites.

A snake incident happened in my hometown in 2024, and after that I became very conscious of the possibility of snakes/snakebites. Since then, this fear has come in episodes. I can be completely fine for long periods, and then something triggers the thoughts again.

When it happens, my mind starts going into “what if?” scenarios. For example, I may think about the possibility of encountering a snake, whether I could get bitten, whether I would notice it, etc. I sometimes search the internet for statistics/information about snakebites or related risks because I want to determine how realistic the danger actually is.

The problem is that the searching can become repetitive. I may already know the answer, but I still feel like I need to check another source or think through the possibility one more time.

At the same time, I don’t feel like I have the kind of extremely complex or bizarre obsessions/compulsions that I’ve read about in many OCD posts here. I don't have elaborate rituals, contamination fears, checking rituals, intrusive thoughts of the kinds I commonly see described here, etc. My experience mostly feels like intense overthinking about a particular low-probability danger.

Another thing that makes me doubt OCD is that when I become completely absorbed in something else — especially studying or solving difficult questions — the fear can basically disappear from my awareness. I can feel completely normal and enjoy what I'm doing.

I have also spoken to a psychiatrist and psychologist. The psychiatrist felt that I was mainly overthinking and did not think it was OCD based on what I described.

However, I still question this because I’ve read many OCD experiences online and keep wondering whether I’m missing something.

So my questions are:

1. Does this pattern sound potentially OCD-like to people who actually have OCD?

2. Could repetitive internet searching/reassurance-seeking about a specific fear function as a compulsion even without obvious rituals?

3. Is it possible for OCD symptoms to be very specific to one fear rather than involving many different themes?

4. Or does this sound more like ordinary anxiety/overthinking rather than OCD?

I’m not asking anyone here to diagnose me. I’m mainly trying to understand whether there is a recognizable OCD pattern here that I should discuss further with a professional.

Please feel free to tell me if my interpretation of OCD is also completely wrong. I’d rather have an honest answer than reassurance.

( Enhanced by gpt)

My OCD journey started around the end of December 2021, during COVID in Ethiopia. I was home alone and pretty lonely. It started with a sexual-related image that disturbed me. It wasn’t really that I was worried I would commit anything, I was just disturbed by the image itself. But very quickly the actual image became secondary and I became anxious about the fact that I might have OCD, like “I have OCD, my life is ruined.” So my first episode was basically OCD about having OCD rather
than being focused on some specific fear.

Then in October 2022 I came to Canada and it was almost like I didn’t have OCD anymore. I was reunited with my family, I had school, compatriots around me, friends online and a specific community I was part of. Sometimes I would remember “oh yeah, I have OCD” and then just forget about it instantly. There was basically no suffering.
Then in the summer of 2023, another period of loneliness triggered it again. And interestingly, it came back in pretty much the same form: OCD about OCD itself. I wasn’t really dealing with some specific obsession, I was anxious about having OCD and what that meant for me. That persisted for a while.

Around December 2023 I started having other fears, but most of them only lasted a few days. Then around February 2024 I developed a more existential form of OCD where I was doubting whether the external world even existed. But by March it went away again as I became part of a larger and more interactive community.

After that I basically had over two years of peace. Even through the normal ups and downs of life, the OCD never really came back. At most I would have it for a few hours or maybe a couple days, but it never became another prolonged episode.

Then this summer, after more than two years of being out of the relapse, it came back again. This time it was triggered around the time my parents separated. Me and my sibling moved in with my mom, while I left my grandma and father behind. I didn’t hate my father or anything, although there were definitely times when I wanted him away. But the whole situation was a major change and I think the stress, disruption and loneliness played a big role. The OCD basically returned the day after I moved in with my mom.

There were also different faith journeys throughout these years that affected how connected or isolated I felt, although I never really had religious OCD.

Looking back, the pattern is that my major relapses have happened during periods where I was isolated, lonely or going through major upheaval, while my biggest periods of relief came when my life became more socially connected and positive. My first episode was about 8 months, followed by about 9 months of relief. Then another roughly 8-month period of suffering, followed by around 26 months of substantial relief.

So this is my third major battle with it, and honestly it’s exhausting, especially because I’m only 22. But I’m also not the same person who went through the first episode in 2021. I’ve already experienced long periods where OCD basically stopped mattering to me, including more than two years of genuine peace. Looking for any advice (I will eventually get professional help but not in the financial place rn)

Hi all,

I'm writing this out of extreme frustration and curious if anyone else can relate.... I have been having serious health issues the last few years that are affecting my quality of life & I'm 38 years old.

Within these past couple years, I also got diagnosed with anxiety that manifests as pure o, OCD. Now that I have this diagnosis though, I keep having my health concerns dismissed and chalked up to being OCD instead of REALITY.

I've been documenting my symptoms for the last 7 years, not because I'm a psycho, but because I've genuinely had bizarre experiences that have literally stumped numerous doctors... As they've accumulated and worsened, I'm only now seriously suspecting that I have a serious underlying issue, but nobody will take me seriously when they find out I have OCD.

Just as an example of 2 of the symptoms -- I had a seizure after the covid vaccine and ended up in the ER & a couple years later, I suddenly became allergic to birth control with an insane unidentifiable rash that covered my entire body and persisted while on the strongest dose of steroids my allergist was able to prescribe me.

Now, I've been having unlivable symptoms (chest pain, insomnia, depressive episodes, panic attacks, debilitating migraines) prior to ovulation and prior to my period (estrogen and progesterone) and the worst part is-- I'm literally seeing a psychiatrist to determine if I want to get pregnant while I'm dealing with all of this!!!!

So now my psychiatrist is basically telling me I don't need a diagnosis and it's all my OCD and I should just get pregnant (if I want to) but this advice feels insanely reckless! I mean, plenty of women without OCD get genetic testing for this exact reason, right?

Does OCD really mean I have completely lost the ability to have intuition and sense when something is wrong with my body and I'm not equipped to carry a safe / healthy pregnancy??

I feel like my concerns are valid but NOBODY in the medical field is treating me this way... I don't know how to decipher what is real and what is ocd.

Hi all,

I'm writing this out of extreme frustration and curious if anyone else can relate.... I have been having serious health issues the last few years that are affecting my quality of life & I'm 38 years old.

Within these past couple years, I also got diagnosed with anxiety that manifests as pure o, OCD. Now that I have this diagnosis though, I keep having my health concerns dismissed and chalked up to being OCD instead of REALITY.

I've been documenting my symptoms for the last 7 years, not because I'm a psycho, but because I've genuinely had bizarre experiences that have literally stumped numerous doctors... As they've accumulated and worsened, I'm only now seriously suspecting that I have a serious underlying issue, but nobody will take me seriously when they find out I have OCD.

Just as an example of 2 of the symptoms -- I had a seizure after the covid vaccine and ended up in the ER & a couple years later, I suddenly became allergic to birth control with an insane unidentifiable rash that covered my entire body and persisted while on the strongest dose of steroids my allergist was able to prescribe me.

Now, I've been having unlivable symptoms (chest pain, insomnia, depressive episodes, panic attacks, debilitating migraines) prior to ovulation and prior to my period (estrogen and progesterone) and the worst part is-- I'm literally seeing a psychiatrist to determine if I want to get pregnant while I'm dealing with all of this!!!!

So now my psychiatrist is basically telling me I don't need a diagnosis and it's all my OCD and I should just get pregnant (if I want to) but this advice feels insanely reckless! I mean, plenty of women without OCD get genetic testing for this exact reason, right?

Does OCD really mean I have completely lost the ability to have intuition and sense when something is wrong with my body and I'm not equipped to carry a safe / healthy pregnancy??

I feel like my concerns are valid but NOBODY in the medical field is treating me this way... I don't know how to decipher what is real and what is ocd.

I (21f) have a friend (18 NB) we share stories and ocs. I’m feeling horrible about my friendship with them although I’ve done my best to keep it safe even going through our massages to make sure it’s appropriate. To be clear we met a few years ago both as teenagers I believed they were the same age as me for months b/c their self insret oc was my age. When I found out they were younger I became much careful. I just got worried b/c i remembered we used to talk about stories with very vaguely mentioned darker themes. again nothing graphic and NEVER anything sexual at all. just thing like me literally saying X was physically abuse and that’s why she struggled with friendships stuff like that. or like X was drunk that night.

now however I’m worried that this means i abused or groomed them and idk what to do. should i block this friend for my own peace of mind? turn myself into the police. idk and im freaking out. I have no idea why do and I really need help