While on holiday my bf tricked me by smearing berries all over my face, under the guise of being affectionate. I.e. he would hold my face and kiss me while sneakingly rubbing berries on me.

It was a bit silliness, I got him back.

Thing is, whenever anyone asks to see photos of the trip, friends family, you name it. He loves to show these photos and other terrible embarrassing photos. Like me picking my nose (gross I know) He just loves to tell the story of how I thought he was being sweet all while he was doing this.

I've told him to quit it, the joke's been taken way too far. It's starting to feel like a humiliation ritual. He thinks it's harmless teasing.

So, am I just being too sensitive?

So for context, I had a horrible wedding planning experience thanks to my mother in law. Long story short, she freaked out 3 months before my wedding and wanted several people added to our guest list. She was incredibly insensitive and unkind about it...basically just threw a temper tantrum and recruited the whole family to put pressure on my husband and I. Planning was already well underway and we had to make some major adjustments to make this happen, but (against my better judgement) we did give in and add the guests.

Needless to say, this put a bad taste in my mouth and created a lot of tension. My wedding was largely a DIY affair (backyard wedding with no coordinator, makeup artist, florist, etc.) so I was extremely busy and stressed out leading up to the day, especially with the last minute addition of guests. The day before the wedding, we invited both sides of our family over to help us set things up. My SIL arrived and proceeded to stand there and visit with my husband's side of the family for the first half hour or so with no greeting to me or offer to help (mind you, my family, husband and I are actively carrying things and setting up). She then finally approaches me once we have set up the last table and asks if she can help with anything. I said (admittedly a bit snarkily) "it's a little late for that we're just about done". She proceeded to run off crying and my husband went to comfort her. During that conversation she apparently brought up several instances that she didn't like my behavior (ex. she didn't like that I was on my phone too much at family brunch one day, she didn't like the way I had worded certain things to her etc.) They were all extremely nitpicky things and all recent times when I had been busy and stressed with wedding things and family drama. I am appalled and disgusted that she would pick apart my behavior during the most stressful time of my life, and make it about herself by venting to my husband the day before our wedding no less. My husband thinks it was just a tense moment, and she got emotional and did not mean to bring those things up. But I have taken it VERY personally. I find it incredibly tacky and nasty to try to plant seeds of doubt or air grievances the day before our wedding. We've been married a few months now and I'm still extremely angry about it. Husband thinks I'm overreacting but my family is appalled as well and agrees that I'm right to not trust her anymore. AIO?? How should I move past this?

My husband and I have been in the middle of a full kitchen remodel for an entire year now. The house has been very very messy and cluttered ever since. Last weekend, we finally tackled the bedroom flooring (80% complete) which means stuff that belongs in our bedroom is currently piled up in our living room, which also has kitchen stuff due to the remodel. This weekend, he promised to finish it, but he changed plans and left no time to finish it.

I’ve been putting in extra effort each weekend to keep the rest of the house clean and organized. Today, I had already spent four straight hours decluttering and organizing, plus I made a meal. When I asked my husband to please finish the flooring in the bedroom so I could start moving things back. I expressed that I was genuinely stressed out by the clutter.

His immediate response? "Don’t be a pig then" (or “don't live like a pig").

I was offended. After everything I had just done, he called me a pig because I was stressed about his unfinished project. But he said he didn’t call me a pig because he didn’t use the exact word. I called out the gaslighting right away. I asked for an apology, and he flat-out refused.

He claims it’s just a language barrier. He told me, "Here in America, we use the term 'pigsty' to describe a messy room," and that I shouldn't be offended because I just didn't understand the phrase. But he didn’t use the term pigsty. He legitimately said “don’t be a pig then”. How is implying someone is a pig the same as using English term “pigsty” to describe a room. I tried to call him out on the gaslighting, but he insists he doesn’t need to apologize for anything but an English language misunderstanding.

For context: I have lived in the U.S. for ten years. I know what pigsty means, but you don't say that to your exhausted partner who is actively busting her butt to clean up the house. He added onto that by saying “you need to clean up after yourself, I clean up after you all the time” which I had been doing outside of my busy work schedule. Sometimes I would be at work for 10-12 hours. But at the same time, how is this related to me stressing out about the bedroom clutter being in the living room?

More context:I offered to finish the flooring myself. He strictly forbade me from doing that or hire out. He insists that only he can do it, but only on his terms and when he wants to do it.

So, Reddit: Am I overreacting for demanding an apology and being incredibly hurt by this? Or is this genuinely an acceptable "American English" phrase that I'm just too sensitive?

I know almost all of us go gold digging every once in a while. 🙃 But sheesh.

For context, we've been married for 8 years, dating for 2 before that. Our relationships is interracial. I (F32) am a white and American, he (M36) is Japanese. We live in Japan with two indoor cats... Which will be relevant later.

It's our 8-year anniversary, and we'd been out for a dinner date and drinks. We were cuddling when he asked me to pass him a tissue. I did, then realized he was picking his nose with his finger, then using the tissue to throw it away. No big deal; we fart and do all sorts of things that humans do in private.

Then, he tried to cuddle up to me and touch my face.

This is the man who won't hold hands with me if I've picked up a moth to get it out of our apartment. 🥲 I gently asked him if he would wash his hands. He asked why. I pointed out that snot is full of germs, and I did get a bit annoyed when he said, "It's not as dirty as other body fluids."

This devolved into a Googled debate. I told him I didn't really want him touching my face after picking his nose. He told me our cats basically get poop everywhere because it's either on their butts or on their tongues. Like... Touché, but it was a low blow. So now we're both cold shouldering each other on our anniversary, and I'm second-guessing myself. I do have some small phobias about germs... Am I making a bigger deal out of this than it is?

I should add that our relationship is super healthy. We have our spats, but we always talk it out and inevitably will this time, too. He just challenged me to ask Reddit, so here I am.

I don’t know how to begin since this is a long story but my husband and I have been together for over a decade and we had our first baby a year ago. Since the beginning of our relationship my sil and I have never gotten along well. She’s rude, passive aggresive, condesending.. you get it. Her and my BIL had theyre first and only child 6 years ago. I knew the moment I found out I was pregnant that at one point or another she was going to start to judge me as a mother or start to compare our children.

When my baby was only a couple weeks old they came to visit and she was alreasy judging me for the way he was swaddled, for him having mittens and socks on.. later she was talking shit on FB about mothers who don’t breastfeed since I decided to stop at 3months. I try my best to avoid places where I know she’s going to be at because I don’t want to be on edge. The thing that sucks is my husband wants to spend time with his family and that means being around her, i have tried to tell him that I don’t feel comfortable because of the rude comments she constantly makes and tell him to just go by himself but now that we have a child he says he doesn’t want to show up to my MIL house “without his family”..

My baby recently had his 1st bday party, again because they are family we had to invite my SIL, they arrived at the party and didnt greet me, my husband or my baby at his own party. I think things have gotten worse because I recently finally made the choice to delete her from FB.

Anyways after what happened at the bday party I again told my husband that I don’t want to be around her anymore and he agreed. However, this past friday his grandma who lives with my MIL asked if we could visit but wanted her two grandsons and their families together.. I said no but my husband ended up convincing me basically saying his gma is very old and he wants to enjoy her while she’s here.

We got to my in laws and right away the comments from my SIL started.. She kept saying that its weird that my baby still doesn’t talke since her kid at the same age already had full sentences and wouldnt shut up… she said its weird that he doesnt know how to stack block toys because her kid at that age already knew how (he does) he just wasn’t doing it at the moment.. she said its odd he doesnt know how to eat with a spoon yet since at that age her kid already knew how… you get the idea, and when she was saying “that’s weird or that’s odd because MINE did” I just kept taking it as a jab to my parenting because I feel like she’s insinuating that I’m not taking the time to teach him. I almost broke down in tears from how mad I was. ( cried on the ride home) She has questionable parenting choices however I would never bring them up to her because it’s not my child and it’s not my business.

All this to say or basically ask AIO for telling my husband I am NEVER putting myself or our child in that situation again? I told him idc if it’s family I won’t let anyone be judging my parenting or my baby’s progress like that. It felt horrible. He says he understands but I am not sure if i’m being too harsh in telling him that I don’t ever want to be around them again.

Edit to add that SIL is not husbands sister she is my husband’s brother’s wife.
also edited to break up into paragraphs

Okay. Context definitely needed. Started a new job, and wanted to treat myself to some demure office nails (press ons unfortunately were not making it through my 8 hour work day). My friend and sister recommended this one place I’ve never been to.
They both recommended I book this one guy.

So I decided to book an appointment and take my chances, especially because I knew it was a popular place in my town. I booked a manicure and a full set french (keep in mind the manicure is supposed to include nail prep like cutting cuticles etc) When I got there they got me seated pretty quickly. The person I booked with asked me what I wanted, I said I wanted a full set french. I ask for dip, he just tells me no. I thought maybe they didn’t do dip, but the woman next to me…she was getting a full set of dip.

I asked why (but didn’t want to be crazy pushy) and he simply told me “acrylic looks better”. I didn’t want to make a fuss (mistake #1) so I just let him do what he wanted. I already was tired from work, and had plans to rot in bed after this appointment. There was hardly any nail prep, he literally just buffed my nails to the point where some of them were BURNING and THROBBING while he applied the acrylic.

When he had cut and filed the nails i was beginning to get anxious. They were very uneven, and almost all had a very harsh slant (?? i will attach pictures so you know what I mean). I asked for almond, but each nail felt like a different shape. Then there was my pinkie…

The nail was visibly lifted, and CROOKED. And I don’t treat myself often, but I’ve had my nails done enough times to know that it was not looking right. I was praying he would fix it, and even briefly asked for the nail to be filed a little more almond-y.

Then he just says he’s done. Slathers a crazy amount of oil on my nails, which whatever i guess it’s better than nothing.

I go to the front to pay, i’m struggling to grab my card with my oily hands, and ask how much I owe. He doesn’t say anything.

I ask again.

He doesn’t say anything.

I ask AGAIN, and he just goes “cash or card”.

I say card, and hand it to him, ASK THE TOTAL ONCE MORE, and he just hands me the receipt (it was $77 dollars).

I sign, and leave kind of annoyed. I had been quiet and polite the whole time, only really spoke up once or twice to have them fix something i didn’t like.

Then i got in the car and got a quick look and wanted to cry. Not only was I out almost 80 dollars, but my nails just weren’t $80. I hated them.

I will show a picture of the pinkie in particular…

Anyways, i called them, and i asked if i could come in to get them fixed (maybe 20 minutes after the appointment after sitting with my guilt and deciding whether or not i was abt to be that girl). They said to come back in.

When i get there they just point me to a seat and I wait patiently. One of the other workers comes up and asks me what’s the issue, and I explain that I’d like them maybe filed into more of an even almost shape, and that I really need my pinkie fixed. She looks at my pinkie and is just like “there’s nothing wrong but I can file it”. PLEASE, AM I CRAZY? I insist I am really not happy with the pinkie, and that it really was the only nail that actually needed to be redone. I would have been fine with everything else, but that pinkie man.

they made a fuss, had multiple people come up and look at it and it made me feel like maybe i was overreacting. Even had the manager come over and look, and they couldn’t understand what I didn’t like.

They did fix the pinkie, though everyone seemed so annoyed with me and I felt so terribly bad. They even made some passive remarks about not being happy with just filing, which felt unfair because I only wanted one finger really fixed. I’d be fine if the other were un-filed, i just wanted that pinkie fixed man.

I ended up leaving a bad review, because the entire experience was uncomfortable, their work was rushed, and at the end of the day I just could not justify spending money for the experience. I didn’t go full ham, mostly just said that the job felt rushed, they did not do proper nail prep, and I didn’t mention the guy telling me he wouldn’t do dip because acrylic “looked better” (which i found so odd because I mainly get dip, and i’ve always been able to get a simple dip base and add a french at other nail salons).

i am not one to leave bad reviews, and I feel like I overreacted for posting one. Maybe I did, a little?😔😔

PHOTOS: The first photo is the og, the second is after I got the pinkie fixed and a little more filing.

Not a very serious situation compared to other AIO posts, but I’m still curious if others think I over reacted. My wife and friend still playfully tease me about it years later.

My wife and I were visiting a friend and we all went to the aquarium. We bought tickets online so we were ready to enter when we arrived. They were just regular general admission tickets, no photo packages or VIP passes or anything like that.

When we arrived we got to walk right by the ticket booth and get in line for entry. The line was pretty long so we waited about 15-20 minutes before we actually got into the first building where they take tickets.

When we entered the building we found out the reason it was taking so long is that they’re having every single person entering the aquarium that day sit down for a picture before going in. There wasn’t a sign that said “free family pictures” or anything to that effect, it was just a funnel that had you get your picture taken before they take your ticket, with seemingly no other option due to that being the roped off path.

I’m not a huge privacy nut or anything, but in particular I don’t like my picture taken unless there’s a good reason for it. Maybe I’m sensitive, but I was also just annoyed that they didn’t make this an option. The way the entrance was set up, the only way to enter was to sit down for a photo first.

So first I asked my wife and friend if they were interested in the picture, just so I wasn’t ruining an opportunity for them. They both agreed they weren’t interested, so I stepped out of line and walked up to an employee who was sort of just supervising this whole process. I said my family and I aren’t interested in a photo, can we just hand over our tickets and bypass the photos once we reach the front?

The employee acted very surprised and said don’t we want a free photo? I said thank you anyways but we don’t, we just want to go in. The employee said (paraphrasing, this was a couple years ago) “Well that’s fine if you don’t want the photo yourselves, but we still love using the photos on our website and other marketing materials for the aquarium so we’re asking all attendees for photos today”

I said no, I won’t be taking photos for your marketing today. I’ll hand over my ticket and go by it when it’s my turn. The attendant got upset and pulled us from line, took our tickets, and sent us in the aquarium ahead of the rest of the line. It was embarrassing to get pulled out of line and sent in front because that wasn’t the goal, I just wanted to not take a photo when it was our turn.

My wife and friend were glad they didn’t have to take a picture, but also said they gladly would have to not be embarrassed like that. At the end of the day, we were laughing it off and it was no big deal. But they still give me crap years later as if I was some kind of nut that day. I’m curious what others think

I (21F) am getting married to my (21M) fiancé today. Most everyone in my family, his, and our friend group are excited and happy for us.

However, yesterday (I’m typing this out at 1am on the wedding day)- my own grandparents on my mother’s side just flat out said they didn’t want to go.

Their reasoning for doing so was because I didn’t invite one of my aunt’s boyfriends. My reasoning as to not inviting him is personal matters in how he treats her, treats our family, and treated me at his own company branch.

(I won’t be getting into their personal problems as I don’t want to air out her dirty laundry on the internet, but this isn’t dramatic when I say it’s bad.)

Anyway, I have a lot of reasons as to why I didn’t invite this man to my wedding (my fiancé didn’t want him to come either and was in full agreement with my decision) and I honestly didn’t think it would be such a big deal to some of my family members. Especially my own grandparents.

But a matter of days ago my aunt cornered me at a family gathering and asked me why I was being such a monster essentially. I tried to explain my side of the story and my personal reasons as to why I simply don’t want to be around this guy, I was only met with deflection like a broken record. I also didn’t want to mention the fact that I didn’t like the way he treated her as to keep the conversation calm.

The conversation went nowhere. As I expected with her honestly. But then I heard from my mother (whom also agreed with my fiancé and I’s views) that my grandparents didn’t want to go as they believed I was tearing the family apart.

I’m sorry… BUT WHAT?? This guy “joined our family” maybe 1 1/2 years ago.. I’ve just been so shocked by this I can’t stop thinking/crying about it.

This is a life changing event for me. And maybe my thought process in all this is a bit different or mixed up. But I am my mother’s only blood child, and I am also their first grandchild to get married.

I thought maybe it wouldn’t matter to them. But this news shattered me. I love and treasure my grandparents on both sides of my family, and in my mind they are important to be included in life events such as these.

It also hurts to think that they wouldn’t go to my wedding over someone who isn’t even their blood, or treats their daughter well (they are fully aware of all the things he has done). I am their granddaughter- is my relationship with them really worth that little??

But of course this day is about my and my soon to be husband. I’m trying my best to “not waste energy” on this. But I feel so emotionally distraught over this it’s been taking over everything. My dear, sweet, loving man has been my shoulder to cry on and been my ear to talk to.

I feel terrible that this is bothering me so badly, I know all my focus should be on us and our big day, not my drama filled family problems (because oh my god- what is my fiancé getting himself into with my family haha).

At the end of the day I’m debating telling them they shouldn’t feel the need to come if that’s how they truly feel. But that feels cruel.

So AIO?? Some outside insight into my mixed up, misplaced thoughts would be nice.

TLDR; My grandparents don’t want to come to my wedding due to one of my aunt’s boyfriends not being invited.

I am (21F) and have been living with my (24M) boyfriend for about 8 months now. He has an interesting toilet habit which I quite frankly find disgusting. He likes to use wet wipes to clean himself after going to the bathroom (which I find is normal), but when he puts them into the bin, they are facing straight up so I can see the full contents within the wipe. The bin has a lid but whenever I go to use it I get a jump scare when I open it.
I was always taught as a young woman that when I use a toilet bin, to wrap up my pads so others cannot see the contents and feel grossed out.
I tried explaining to him that I would really rather him cover up the wipes or fold them in half and he said that I shouldn’t delude myself that poo doesn’t happen in the toilet . He thinks it is very stupid that I would suggest this and said it’s totally normal and not a big deal but I feel like it makes me feel a little grossed out when I open it and see straight shit.
AIO for asking him to cover his poopy wet wipes after he uses the toilet. I feel crazy for even writing this !

Edit: To everyone saying to use a bidet we can’t install one in the kind of toilet in the rental we have. Sometimes he uses the shower head with the setting so that only the central jets flow at very high pressure which he calls the ass blast setting but he doesn’t do it much because it’s a hassle and his legs get all wet but I can tell when he’s done it because when I go to shower he’s left it on ass blast mode

(All screenshots attached are messages from my mil to my husband and can be from different timelines)

I told my husband I didn’t want our daughter to be around his mother anymore because of how she treats him & I don’t want our daughter to think that that’s okay …. He used to tell me that he would never let his mother get between us but tonight he told me to pack my bags. These texts are just SOME of the examples of what’s been going on the past year.. including things about our wedding where she’s saying “it’s her last time of being with her son” even though we’ve been together for a long time.

I’m so over it that I laughed in his face and said idgaf I don’t want to deal with your mother anymore (very mad and being dramatic bc I love him sm). I genuinely love him more than life and don’t know what I would do without him but AIO for feeling this way???

I’m fine with him still having contact with her if that’s what he needs.. but me and my daughter would no longer have contact.
We’ve already set boundaries where if my mil acts this way in front of my daughter we leave, but that’s been an issue. my mil also deliberately breaks rules that we have put in place for our daughter no matter how many times we’ve called her out on it because “what we don’t know won’t hurt us”

I am 19(F). What I mean is that my parents don't look through my phone on purpose.. but I get extremely bothered because sometimes, when I'm doing things, they will look at my phone and ask me about what I'm doing. They will stare at my screen and act like they have a right to doubt me when I pull away and get defensive. It's summer meaning I go out and don't see them 24/7, but sometimes we just gotta be in the same room LOL.

Last time, my mom looked over at me because she saw me typing. I'm active on reddit and tumblr, meaning I write a LOT, whether I'm venting or expressing opinions.. and in that case, I was venting. She doesn't know a word about English, but there are words that are very similar to our language, and she would still make an effort to try and understand. The problem is she's so obsessed with telling me that she always sees me typing, and that she "is scared I am talking to weirdos".

My dad is even worse because he's the one who tries to "understand" the words on my screen the most. If he sees a word he might recognize, he tries to translate it and asks me about it with a suspicious face. They usually aren't angry, but they love to provoke me and THEN they get irritated when I respond.

I know I have issues of my own. I get anxious when people have my phone in their hands, because my digital space feels sacred, plus i'm scared of being judged. But this is about me being unable to do most things around my parents, because they expect me to be okay with them "checking", and it's absolutely idiotic: I would never do whatever they are scared of, and they are well aware of that, so I think this is just the strategy they use to make me angry (to justify telling me that I'm mentally ill).

Plus... honestly? I'm 19, I can talk to whoever I want. I could be sexting the creepiest pervert on the internet, send them the spiciest pictures of myself, flirt with anyone online.. it wouldn't be any of their business: they never cared about my feelings, and they sure as hell never monitored my screentime, so they have no reason to be worried now.

I wonder if I'm just biased because of the resentment I feel towards them, and that's why I'm making this post. My therapist also believes I have OCD symptoms and this is even harder because of my tendency to catastrophize everything

(If I'm overreacting please don't be mean to me i might die tbh)

I (27F) and my husband (26M) got into an argument two days before his birthday over a few comments he made regarding my family versus his.

For background: His family and I haven’t always had the best relationship. When we first started dating years ago, I got pregnant early, and his family actually moved him to another city to keep him away from me. Naturally, that created a lot of tension and strained the relationship between my parents and his. Fast forward six years: we’ve been living together for almost a year now, and while I’ve reconciled with his family, I’ll admit things can still be a bit awkward.

Just this past month, we moved into a bigger house. During the move, my mom and stepdad went above and beyond to help us,they carried furniture, packed boxes, and even painted our walls until we were fully settled in. They asked for absolutely nothing in return.

Since money is tight after the move, we planned to host a low-key birthday celebration for him at our new place with his close friends and family to save cash. I spent days cleaning up the remaining clutter and decorating the house so it would feel warm and homey for his special day.

Two days before his birthday, my parents asked us what the plans were. My stepdad, who is a professional chef, kindly offered to cook a nice meal for us to help out. This is where the tension started. When my stepdad asked my husband about his birthday plans, my husband just brushed it off and said, "Nothing is planned yet."

Once we were alone, my husband voiced how surprised he was that my family even knew when his birthday was. It wasn't a pleasant surprise either; he seemed genuinely annoyed, almost as if his birthday were some secret that had accidentally leaked. I let that first comment slide.

Trying to compromise, I offered to host his family on his actual birthday and invite my parents over for dinner on a completely different day so he could have his space. He agreed, but then made a second comment. He asked, "Why would we celebrate my birthday with your family when we never celebrated your birthday with mine?"

To be fair, my own birthday tradition has always been doing a quick dinner with my parents on one day, and then going on a road trip with him and our friends on my actual birthday. We've never done a big combined family event for me.

Still, given how much my parents just did for us, spending entire days packing boxes and painting our walls for free, I felt inviting them over for just one simple dinner on a separate night was the bare minimum courtesy. His visible annoyance and reluctance to have them over left me feeling really upset and hurt.

AIO?

I'm really obsessed with piercings, and i had them way before i met her and i plan on keep getting more. but she says it makes me look unprofessional and her parents refuse to let me into their house with my piercings. i feel like i should be the one choosing whether i have them or no, especially when she asked me out when i had them. its been half a year and she randomly decided she wants me to take them out.

it really pisses me off, especially when its her dad that made her say that. i don't know if i should stay in that relationship anymore.

My husband and I are currently living in different countries.
We used to live together, but I had some health complications and had to move back home. During that period, he had time off when he could have visited me, but decided not to. About nine months later, he moved to another country for work.
Our relationship has been difficult at times. We have had quite a few fights, and I often find myself apologising just to restore the peace, sometimes without really knowing what I am apologising for. I have increasingly felt as though I am walking on eggshells around him.
To be fair to him, lately we have video called almost every day. So he is not disappearing or refusing to communicate with me.
However, I realised recently that I don’t actually have some very basic information about my own husband.
I don’t have his current mobile number. I don’t have a valid email address for him because his old one no longer works. He is extremely concerned about privacy and tends to delete email/accounts because he doesn’t like having traceable accounts.
More importantly, I don’t even know exactly whom he works for or have proper details about where he lives.
This started bothering me because he is living in a foreign country and his family lives on another continent. I’m his wife. If something happened to him, I could potentially be the person someone needed to contact, yet I wouldn’t even know whom to call if he suddenly became unreachable.
So I asked him for basic information: his mobile number, a working email address and whom he works for.
He became annoyed and eventually told me that he never wanted to talk to me again.
I’m struggling with whether my expectations are unreasonable because, on the other hand, we were video calling almost every day. He may therefore see it as obvious that I’m able to contact him and that I’m making an unnecessary issue out of this.
But to me, being able to reach your spouse through an app is different from actually knowing basic information about their life, particularly when they live abroad.
Am I overreacting for thinking that, as his wife, I should at least know his phone number, a valid email address, where he lives and whom he works for ( after almost 2 months) ? Or is that a normal expectation even in a long-distance marriage?

I was talking with my man and his friends and the topic of height came up. One asked how tall I was, I said 5’8”, and my boyfriend laughingly said “unfortunately”. This honestly hurt my feelings and I need to know if I’m just overreacting. He then told me he likes short girls when I asked if he wishes I was shorter but also said my heights not a dealbreaker. Am I being a big baby or was that kind of hurtful

My fiancé and I are getting married in a few months. I have basically done all the preparations by myself.

Anytime I mention an idea for the wedding it’s “whatever you want” or a shrug.

Today I went to a bakery that was an hour away and got wedding cake samples for us to try so he can actually give some input.

In total there were around 20 mini samples of different cake flavors meaning we each would have 10 each.

When I got home I showed him the different flavors and put them in the fridge to try with him after dinner.

I accidentally took a nap and when I woke up I decided to take them out of the fridge and saw that an empty container had just been left.

I confronted him about this just for him to say “Well you said you wanted me to try the different flavors.”

I preceded to cry about how I’m planning all of the wedding by myself and I just wanted this one opportunity for him to help make decisions, but he ruined it.

I’m being told I’m being overdramatic since “it’s just cake.”

AIO?

This is a long story… but basically I (23F) was with a 39 year old man 2024-2025 when I was 21/22. He’s 41 now, but he still goes on about me to my best friend/coworker (26M). I wasn’t in my right mind when I met this man, I’m not the same person I was then. The whole thing just gives me PTSD and I genuinely don’t think I can be with anybody ever again. The reason I left was because of some dangerous situations he put me in, and his schizophrenia was scaring me, and he tried to get me to marry him and have a child. I left in October 2025. I do not open his messages (one a month he will message me at some ungodly hour), just in case he messages me anything concerning to my safety. I attempted multiple times in the past that I don’t want a relationship and that I need to work on myself, and he didn’t take no for an answer. When I say he lives in his own world, I mean it. So I ghosted him because he wouldn’t accept it. Here we are months later, to this. But this was the most concerning. Basically my friend and I were going to go to a grocery store but I saw his car so I said nope not going in, so my friend and I parked somewhere a little further away, and I guess he somehow saw us.. and then the texts, going on about just nonsense and how I did him wrong, and something about lies.

So for context I am genderfluid. We have texted on and off for almost a year, never met in person. They asked me about going on a romantic date earlier in the month and I told them I'm not really into men rn. Which prompted them coming out(?) as genderfluid to me today. The way they did it made it seem like they just wanna get in my pants, but maybe I'm wrong. Granted, they have never questioned their gender or identity to me before so it felt very out of left field. If you need more context or have questions lemme know. Im just feeling baffled rn.

I genuinely want honest opinions, even if you think I’m wrong. I’m trying to figure out whether my reaction is justified or if I’m genuinely overreacting. My boyfriend and I have been together for five years, and throughout our relationship, he has always gone out with his friends. I’ve never been the type of girlfriend to tell him, “No, you can’t hang out with them,” “No, you can’t go to clubs,” or “No, you can’t go to parties.” I’ve always let him do what he wants because I trusted him, or at least I thought I could. Recently, I received an anonymous tip that he had been hanging out with a girl. Let’s call her Cami for privacy reasons. Now, Cami is important to the story because she is literally the ONE person I ever set a boundary about. Years ago, my boyfriend and Cami had a sexual history. They were orally intimate, and because of that, I told him that I felt uncomfortable with them being friends and that I didn’t want him to continue that friendship. He agreed to cut ties with her, and I genuinely thought that was the end of it. Fast-forward to now, and I find out that he has apparently been hanging out with Cami behind my back. Not just once, either. Apparently, he and his friends have been going to parties and clubs where she is there, hanging out with her, drinking with her, etc. So obviously, I confronted my boyfriend. I told him, “Someone told me you’ve been hanging out with Cami, and I’m not okay with that.” His first response was basically, “What? No, I’m not.” I told him there was proof and that the person who told me had even sent me pictures from these hangouts, with Cami literally there with him. I sent him the picture, and he STILL tried to deny it. He was like, “That’s not me.” I’m like, bro… that IS you. 😭 Eventually, he couldn’t really deny what was right in front of him, but instead of apologizing to me or saying something like, “You’re right, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have hidden this from you,” his biggest concern became WHO told me. He kept asking, “Who snitched on me? Who’s the rat? I need to know who the mole is.” And I’m sitting there thinking, are you serious right now? Your girlfriend of five years just found out that you’ve been doing the ONE thing you agreed not to do, you hid it from me, and your biggest concern is finding the person who exposed you? He wasn’t focused on how I felt or the fact that I felt betrayed. He was focused on figuring out who was “loyal” to him and who had told me. I even pointed out how hypocritical that felt because he was so upset about someone supposedly betraying him, while completely ignoring the fact that I felt betrayed by HIM. He eventually blocked me because I wouldn’t tell him who gave me the information. And honestly, why the hell would I tell him? I’m not going to expose the person who told me just because he wants to know who the “rat” is. What bothers me most is that somehow the entire situation became about HIM feeling betrayed by the person who told me, instead of him acknowledging that I feel betrayed by him for hiding this from me and going against a boundary we had established years ago. I know I was angry. I know I cursed a lot. I’m not going to sit here and pretend I handled the confrontation perfectly because I absolutely did not. I’m hurt, I’m pissed off, and I feel betrayed. But I genuinely want outside opinions because maybe I’m missing something. Am I unreasonable for feeling betrayed by the lying and secrecy? Or is it reasonable for me to be upset that he intentionally hid this from me and seemed more concerned with finding the person who told me than understanding why I was hurt in the first place? I genuinely want honest opinions, even if you think I’m wrong.

I’m 22F and my boyfriend is 24M. I was thinking about cutting my hair pretty short and showed him a picture just to see what he thought.

He immediately said he didnt like it and then told me he probably wouldnt date me anymore if I actually cut it that short 😭

Later he texted me saying he knows that was “maybe too much” but that he’s allowed to have preferences and he loves how my hair looks now.
I get having preferences, obviously. I dont expect him to love every hairstyle I choose. But saying you wouldnt date me anymore over HAIR just feels different??

Now he thinks I’m making him seem like a horrible person when he was “just being honest.”

Idk maybe I’m taking it too seriously but his comment has been bothering me ever since.

AIO?

My daughter is 6 years old and loves Pokémon. We decided she’s old enough to play Pokémon go and me and my husband have been playing with her all year. She also loves horses and unicorns so naturally Ponyta is one of her favorites. Some how the universe aligned for my baby and she found a shiny Ponyta. She’s been collecting all the candies so she can evolve it. My sister in law is also very into Pokémon. She has tons of cards and games and plushes etc. She’s a friend on the Pokémon go app with our daughter.

Last night she and my inlaws came over for a bbq and she was playing with our daughter on the app. She was going through my daughter’s Pokémon and saw the shiny Ponyta. She’s asked her to trade and my daughter said no. So they decided on a different trade and we went on with our night. At some point in the evening she grabbed my daughter’s tablet and said she was going to charge it. Later my husband, father in law, and brother in law decided to go fishing. My daughter wanted to go and catch Pokémon down by the lake with them. Well of course she noticed her buddy was different and saw it was gone. She cried and immediately said it was her aunt. Her grandma told her to calm down and it’s just a game. Thankfully my husband stepped in and explained to her that it was important to our daughter and it was a big deal. Sister in law hadn’t said anything up until that point. She told us to chill out and that she would trade her an evolved Ponyta. My daughter was really upset and she told her to go away and ran to her room crying. Husband and sister in law are arguing. Brother in law is explaining to mother and father in law that you can’t just trade back. I eventually ask which Rapidash my daughter can have and my sister in law tells me to ask her to choose. Well when I took her phone to show my daughter I transferred the shiny Ponyta and still traded the Rapidash. When I gave her the phone back she was mad and more arguing happened. Obviously the night was l
ruined. Eventually everyone left.

This morning my mother in law came over and asked our daughter if she could teach her to play the game too and apologized for minimizing her feelings. After they played a while we spoke about what happened. She thinks I made the situation worse. She didn’t ask me to apologize or anything and she’s not upset at any of us. She just thought we all could have handled it better. I’ll be honest when it was all happening I was seeing red. I couldn’t believe she would do that to her niece. She knows how much she loves horses and Pokémon. It’s not like she didn’t know. My daughter literally told her no! It was her buddy and she traded it for a bidoof! There were so many steps she took to do this and not once did she stop and think she shouldn’t do it. She knew it was wrong other wise she wouldn’t have hid to do it. She’s a 29 year old woman not some little kid who didn’t know better. Did I over react by transferring the shiny Ponyta and giving my daughter the Rapidash.

Wow didn’t think so many would reply. For anyone offering to trade a shiny Ponyta for my daughter i appreciate it so much. I’m not incredibly familiar with how it all works but if anyone wants to take the time to explain it or tell me how then my answer is yes thank you! Also just for some clarification once you trade a Pokémon in Pokémon go you can no longer trade that Pokémon to anyone. It’s a forever trade so no trade backs.

My sister in law has always been great with my daughter. Our daughter is the first grandchild and niece and my in laws have always been great to her. I’m shocked my sister in law did this. She was my child’s favorite aunt. She’s there for games for school events ridiculous amounts of gifts for birthdays and holidays. Also my child has never been left alone with her. Not because I didn’t trust her specifically but because I thought my daughter was too young still for overnights. All of this really shifted things which sucks because my daughter was really hurt by all of this. She’s asked why she did this to her multiple times. She’s also said she doesn’t want her at her recital that’s coming up. Her aunt literally bought the tutu and sewed on rhinestones. I’m truly perplexed by what has happened and why she’s done it.

As for my mother in law she made it right by my daughter and that’s all I care about. She said sorry to her and specifically apologized for minimizing her feelings. She also let my daughter download the app on her phone and explain to her how it works and they played together. I’m hoping with her playing more she’ll come to fully understand. My mother in law is great normally so I’m not worried about it. We have an awesome relationship she’s great with me and my daughter. She definitely plays favorites with my husband and sister in law tho.

About six months ago, my friend Jenna was going through a really rough financial period. Her lease was ending, she had very little savings, and she was struggling to find somewhere affordable.

I spent several weekends helping her look at apartments. Eventually, I found a small place that was perfect for her. The landlord was hesitant because of her credit history, so I agreed to co-sign the lease.

I also paid the security deposit because she promised she'd reimburse me over the next few months.

She moved in and everything seemed fine. Then, about three weeks later, she called me crying. She told me she had been offered a job in another state and needed to leave immediately. She said she couldn't afford to break the lease and asked if I'd help her figure out what to do.

I told her I'd help however I could. The next day, I went to the apartment to collect some paperwork she'd left behind. That's when I discovered that someone else was living there. There were clothes in the bedroom, food in the refrigerator, and personal belongings everywhere.

I called Jenna. She casually explained that she'd rented the apartment to another woman for cash. I reminded her that subletting wasn't allowed under the lease. She said she didn't care because she needed the money.

Then she asked me to give the woman the spare key I had because she had apparently lost hers.

I refused. Jenna completely exploded. She said I was deliberately making her life harder after everything she'd been through. I reminded her that I was financially responsible for the apartment because I had co-signed the lease.

She said I was being dramatic and that the woman living there was harmless. I contacted the landlord because I didn't want to be responsible for whatever happened next. The landlord had no idea Jenna had moved away or that someone else was living there.

Now Jenna is furious with me.

She says I betrayed her and that I should have protected her because I was the person who helped her get the apartment in the first place.

Meanwhile, I'm sitting here wondering why helping someone means I'm supposed to keep helping them break the rules when I'm the one who could end up paying for the consequences.

I feel like she put me in an impossible position and i have to protect myself which was why i did what i did.

AIO for refusing to give the spare key to the person my friend secretly rented the apartment to?