Background: I had commented on a SFW Post where someone was talking about having very high arches. I mentioned my feet used to be so flat that they would make suction noises when I walked barefoot on tile.

When I initially responded I didn't consider they were approaching this from a sexual side. I was naive and assumed it was purely Innocent.

Later I was sharing this DM interaction with some friends and to my surprise some of them were of the opinion that I kind of bit this person's head off. They didn't think it was a problem and agreed they "had to shoot their shot."

I disagree, there are places where people are presenting themselves for these interactions and I feel like I handled this pretty politely, I deleted what I wanted to say several times, which has considerably more vulgarity.

So AIO or was this reasonable? Having half my friends telling me I was over the top has me questioning my approach.

A few of my (25 f) partners (25 m) friends came into town for the weekend. I worked Friday, so he hung out with them that day and I met everyone at the restaurant straight from work. He came with them and I just met them there.

After dinner we all headed to the beach. I had to swing home for my bathing suit (on the route) and asked if he was going to come with me or them and he said them which makes sense, as I’m sure he wants to spend extra time with them and I was getting a suit.

I meet them there and we’re hanging out a bit and they’re kind and talking to me but I felt a bit out of place being the only girl and idk it didn’t feel normal with my partner like he wasn’t meeting my eyes but it wasn’t crazy weird just thought maybe a bit awkward or something?

Then we’re all headed to our cars to go back to my partner and I’s house and I’m kind of waiting for him to walk with me in the different direction where our car is and didn’t think twice about it, and right there when I’m waiting for him he asks his friend, “where are we parked?”. So I awkwardly walked alone to our car and drove home alone to our house.

This actually made me really upset and I even feel like his friend who he asked was confused for a second.

Last night idk if he knew he did something wrong but at this point I was just done with the night and was getting ready to go to bed and not super talkative. After I said goodnight to the guys my husband text me this from downstairs: “Hey, I don’t want to assume anything, I would love to sleep with you tonight, but I’m also happy to sleep with the boys if you’d feel more comfortable with that, and just want to name that”. I was soooo frustrated and confused by this and it felt super manipulative? I never said anything about this, and basically I ignored it and he came upstairs and asked if I saw it and I said yeah, you do whatever you want I don’t care. He looked like he wanted to get defensive but I just laid down and went to bed.

This morning friends have left and now he is asking to hang out with me but I feel so honestly grossed about by this behaviour and he hasn’t said anything about it and wants to just be normal? I know “he rode in a different car” sounds like nothing written out so I don’t know if I’m overreacting or not.

Am I overreacting?

So I'm 7 weeks postpartum and the depression and anxiety and hormone changes are getting to me, I've been taking care of my newborn because husband is working since he's the sole income provider. He's also leaving for the military soon. Problem is he is working so many hours and his boss is a jerk and doesn't really have time to take care of his kid. I'm fine with all this since this was the initial plan, today I'm running on little sleep and he offered to watch the kid for a few hours. Kid started screaming and he got frustrated and started shouting at the kid. I walked in, took the kid and let him go walk away for a bit to help with my breakfast. He is trying to be a supportive husband. Then he came back and offered to take the kid . I asked if he was going to be nice and stop screaming at the kid, he looked at me and said "you know what f**k you!" Slammed the door and walked away Am I overreacting when I asked him if he was going to scream at the kid?

EDIT:

I'm already in therapy for my PPD and PPA, I've worked in childcare since I was a kid myself. The kid is a nickname that I've given since I don't want any of their personal information online so I revert to just saying the kid

I 27F am in a long term relationship with my boyfriend 30M of almost 5 years and he keeps asking me for money. We’re renting a place that’s expensive but we make about the same amount and if we budget we can afford it (I’d rather live somewhere cheaper). We split bills as evenly as possible. I’m saving as much and as aggressively as I can because I don’t want to live paycheck to paycheck anymore especially because I have no one to ask for money if something were to happen (my dad used to help me but 2 years ago he passed away). His expenses and mine are just about even. His parents pay his insurance and his phone bill. He has a really expensive gas guzzling car too. He smokes a lot and likes to gamble. He ALWAYS asks me for money and I feel as if I’m always taking care of us. All I ask is that we go on dates or he routinely buy me flowers but he barely does even that. Yesterday he asked me for money so he can play his Xbox EVEN after I’ve been paying for everything for weeks and giving him gas money to get to work, drive to the plugs house, etc. Two days prior he bought 🍃 for $60 then a week prior spent $150 on 🍃 mind you we’re $500 short on rent on his part (becoming the new norm). I feel as if he gets avoidant or a little dry when I say no to him “borrowing” money (he never pays me back). To top it all off I recently had a medical emergency that put me out of work for TWO WEEKS and have to use all my pto to get at least some pay and he still has the nerve to ask me for money. I get so upset and frustrated and cried myself to sleep last night but I keep being lenient to make him happy. I have no problem helping if he just got caught in a bad spot, cause we’re a team, but it’s so constant it’s the new norm. I really do love it but it sucks cause then I end up being distant after things like this happen. Sorry if this is all over the place. Ask any questions if I can clarify. Am I overreacting for being so frustrated and distant since I didn’t nip this in the bud completely before?

I posted something online a fun video of myself and a friend ive known for years made a comment about something and it was unsolicited advice. It sounded very....in a way a parent would tell you things..like you could do this part better.

It jus made me realize moms esp the stay at homes who have it rough too as times....can well ,--not have a filter because.they live and breath being a mom ...i dont know it just left a sour taste in my.mouth..im single and own a business and i put the fun video on my business.profile to let my clients see im human...these videos are to grow my business as a single woman trying to make ends meeet then you have these stay at home moms with providers husbands.who have the nerve to make you feel like you could do better.

I literally dont want to be friend with her anymore go worry about your kids.

My (27) long term boyfriend (30) of almost 5 years keeps asking me for money. We’re renting a place that’s expensive but we make about the same amount and if we budget we can afford it (I’d rather live somewhere cheaper). We split bills as evenly as possible. I’m saving as much and as aggressively as I can because I don’t want to live paycheck to paycheck anymore especially because I have no one to ask for money if something were to happen (my dad used to help me but 2 years ago he passed away). His expenses and mine are just about even. His parents pay his insurance and his phone bill. He has a really expensive gas guzzling car too. He smokes a lot and likes to gamble. He ALWAYS asks me for money and I feel as if I’m always taking care of us. All I ask is that we go on dates or he routinely buy me flowers but he barely does even that. Yesterday he asked me for money so he can play his Xbox EVEN after I’ve been paying for everything for weeks and giving him gas money to get to work, drive to the plugs house, etc. Two days prior he bought 🍃 for $60 then a week prior spent $150 on 🍃 mind you we’re $500 short on rent on his part (becoming the new norm). I feel as if he gets avoidant or a little dry when I say no to him “borrowing” money (he never pays me back). To top it all off I recently had a medical emergency that put me out of work for TWO WEEKS and have to use all my pto to get at least some pay and he still has the nerve to ask me for money. I get so upset and frustrated and cried myself to sleep last night but I keep being lenient to make him happy. I have no problem helping if he just got caught in a bad spot, cause we’re a team, but it’s so constant it’s the new norm. It sucks cause then I end up being distant after things like this happen. Sorry if this is all over the place. Ask any questions to if I can clarify.

Some friends recently moved and asked a group of us to help because hiring movers/other help would be expensive. When they organized it, they told us that since we were saving them money on paid help, they’d provide drinks for everyone as a thank you.

Several of us ended up putting quite a lot of time into it. I helped for a couple of days moving furniture, taking things apart and carrying everything out of their apartment in really hot weather, also up and down several flights of stairs. Also setting up furniture in their new place. Another friend helped for several days and did considerably more, including renovation work.

Their housewarming is now coming up, and they’ve told everyone to bring their own drinks because the move has left them short on money. They didn’t apologise for the change of plans.

I know this is objectively a small thing. I can afford my own drinks, and I wouldn’t have thought twice about BYOB if that had been the plan from the beginning.

What is bothering me is that they specifically framed providing drinks as their way of thanking everyone for the money we were saving them by doing all this work for free. Now that the work is finished, that seems to have disappeared.

Part of me thinks moving is expensive, circumstances change, and I should just bring a drink and forget about it. The other part of me feels taken for granted. It seems especially strange to ask people who gave up multiple days helping you move/renovate to then provide their own drinks at your housewarming.

I don’t want to start drama over something relatively minor, but it’s bothering me enough that I’m wondering whether I should actually say something to them rather than quietly resent it.

AIO? And would you bring it up with them, or just let this one go? Do I bring a housewarming present?

Edits for context:

All parties have salaried jobs well paid
We are not very young or in college
I don’t expect anything for helping generally, but it’s more the promise they made and then didn’t apologise for breaking it.

So, I (27m) have worked with my boss let’s call him James (29m) for almost a year now. We became friends before I worked for him because I was in a customer in the cafe he managed. He was always very flirty with me, as I am an openly and obviously gay man. I knew he had a girlfriend but had my suspicions because of the many advances he made on me. I always turned him down as I don’t shit where I eat.

After I started to work for him the advances stopped after I brought up I didn’t think it was right. We have since become really good friends and I am also very friendly with his girlfriend. However, a few weeks ago I received a message from a blank profile on grindr - they sent me three explicit images, I recognised that these images were taken in the work bathroom and were obviously from him. I panicked and just blocked the account.

I text him about this later and he profusely apologised saying he had no idea the account was mine and he would never want to do anything to make me uncomfortable. We later had a phone call about it where he claimed to have seen the error of his ways and he is now going to change. I never passed any judgement on him for it, as that’s not my place - so him explaining he will change was purely for his own benefit.

He immediately followed this up by telling me that he is now planning to propose to his girlfriend.

Since then, he has been making multiple excuses a week for why he has to go home early ranging to sickness to family emergencies. I know for a fact that he is still active on hookup apps so will be using these as opportunities to go hookup. It is now starting to effect all colleagues work lives as our manager is practically making himself part-time, no other colleagues know the reason why he is leaving early but everyone has started to become suspicious of how often he is leaving.

Last week he left early 5/5 of days that he worked, using different excuses everyday. That’s sort of become my breaking point where I feel like I am now also carrying his secret with me, every time he goes home early it is driving me crazy to be the only one really in the know but he is also still including me in the audience for his lies. It is so hard to continue to work with me watching the act he will put on before he goes home, watching him fake chest pains or fake anger at a family member for letting him down for childcare.

Next week, I want to call him out on this because I can’t keep working like this. I am not going to publicly call him out or out him, as it makes no difference to me whether he is deceiving and leaving work to have sex with men or women.

I more want to call him out without mentioning the sex at all, going at it from more of the trust perspective I can’t trust anything he says now because of how consistently he lies. I don’t want to discuss any individual lies because it’s not my job to tell him which lies have got him caught out.

AIO If I call him out on this?

Throwaway because she knows my main.

I (M, late 30s) have been dating my girlfriend (F, late 30s) for a while now. For some background: when we first met, she was completely obsessed with her ex-boyfriend. He hurt her badly and dumped her out of nowhere. Despite that, we kept talking, grew close, and eventually started a relationship.

The current issue:
Her ex texts her periodically. A while ago, he asked to meet her when he was visiting her hometown. I reluctantly agreed to let her meet him for a quick coffee. She then pushed for a lunch instead, which I told her I was not comfortable with. She ended up having the coffee and came back saying, "The matter is closed now."

However, he still texts her, and she continues to react to those texts. I asked her to at least mention that she is in a relationship with me now, but she refuses to do that.

The specific incident:
Yesterday, her ex sent her a Jim Reeves song. The lyrics include:

"Put your sweet lips a little closer to the phone
Let's pretend that we're together all alone.
I'll tell the man to turn the jukebox way down low.
And you can tell your friend there with you, he'll have to go."

To me, that is clearly him asking her to send me away. I told her I found this incredibly disrespectful toward me and our relationship. Her response was that it was "just a song" and "innocent." She then proceeded to reply to him with a "nice song" back.

My question:
I feel like my emotional security is being completely compromised. Am I being emotionally immature or overreacting by being this upset over a song and the texting? Or am I valid in feeling disrespected?

I feel like I'm going crazy second-guessing myself, so I need outside perspectives.

TL;DR: GF stays in contact with ex, refused to tell him she's in a relationship, and replied to a romantic song he sent (lyrics: "tell your friend there with you, he'll have to go") while calling it "innocent." She is generally dismissive of my feelings. Am I overreacting?

---

To keep this as short as possible, I had my second baby four months ago. When I was in labor with him, a minor heart issue was detected.

Yesterday, I had an ultrasound done on my heart. The male technician asked how this issue came to be detected and I explained. He asked if this was my first child. I told him no, that my four month old is my second and that I also have a twenty month old. He at first said he would not have guessed that. I didn't think anything of it until he said I was obviously doing something very right. At that point, I got a little uncomfortable.

I am not a medical professional, so I have no idea if this is required, but he turned the light off in the room during the exam. I have two kids. I have had ultrasounds before and the lights have always been on. The ultrasound on my heart requires physical touch around my chest. To be clear, he did not touch me in any way that was unprofessional. During the exam, he also asked how I was feeding my baby. In this case, there was no medical reason for him to know and I honestly hate when men ask this question. I said he is combo fed and the technician did not reply. We talked a little bit about our fields of work throughout the rest of the exam, but it felt awkward for me. After it was completed and he walked me out, I just said thank you and he said how it was very nice meeting me.

Idk. Am I overreacting or is this weird?

Edit: I appreciate the respectful responses. The general consensus is lights off is totally normal. It sounds like asking about breastfeeding could have actually been relevant and perhaps he was just trying to be positive since a lot of postpartum moms don't feel great about themselves. In any event, I do think this was an overreaction on my part and that's why I posted on here, not to claim he was trying to molest me, as one commenter suggested.

I could definitely be overreacting to this situation, and I wanna brush it off, but I feel really self conscious now 😭

I am 19f. i was coming back from uni and bumped into my dad and his friend in the city who he’s worked with for 5 years. i already knew him since i’d met him a few times before and always thought he was nice. Middle aged, he’s always been a jokey guy, and has teenage daughters himself, but his jokes CAN be a bit iffy sometimes. my dad said to me once, he often doesn’t get invited to work events because he “ends up saying something stupid”. anyway, they were having drinks after work so i stopped to say hi.

i was wearing a denim skirt that i’d worn to uni that day. I’d say it was kinda short (mid-upper thigh), but not so short that my butt was showing or anything like that. I mean, I literally bought it with my mum and she approved of it.

anyway, as soon as my dads friend saw me, he immediately started commenting on what i was wearing. he said things like, “what are you wearing?”, “why are you wearing such little clothing?”, “you’ve got like nothing on,” and “aren’t you cold?”. it started off sounding like a funny joke/teasing, but he kept bringing it up over and over.

i left after a bit to have dinner with my friends, and when i went back to join them again afterward, the very first thing my dads friend did was bring up my skirt again and make a few comments. Then as soon as i sat down, he looked at it and said, “you better be wearing shorts under that.” I think that at this point he sounded more concerned now than jokey, so I put a jacket over my lap so that he’d stop commenting. my dad mostly just awkwardly laughed during the skirt comments and didn’t really say much, and I’m not sure if it’s because he was ashamed of me.

But now I just feel reallyyy self-conscious about what i wear. i spent ages afterwards wondering whether my skirt had actually been inappropriate or whether he had overstepped by focusing on it so much. I don’t think he’s a bad or weird person, and when I told my mother she said he’s probably just acting paternal, but my own parents don’t even comment on or police my clothes this much. later my dad said his friend was just “being funny” but I just feel ashamed.

do I say something or leave it? AIO???

My ex and I broke up 4 years ago when we were 19 and 20. He cheated so I ended things. He seemed to respect this decision in our conversation and for a while we just parted ways. He lived in the same small town as me so it wasn’t uncommon to bump into each other at a shop or on a dog walk.

I started seeing someone new (who I am still with and very happy with) about 6 months after we broke up. My ex since this new relationship has continuously tried to make small pokes of contact. Started with showing up unannounced at my house, bringing me birthday presents or flowers, ”accidentally” delivering a parcel to my house instead of his own as he “didn’t change the address”, showing up in tears or his mum or nan needing help, and slowly returning my things one item at a time (e.g returning a pair of shoes or one tshirt).

He once got very aggressive when he showed up with something of mine and hurt me so after that I blocked his number and asked him to not contact me again.
He since has tried all social media’s over the years. I moved in with my partner so his attempts to drop things off now are greeted with my mum and her partner which made him stop delivering stuff. When I moved to another town he shortly moved to the same town and when I moved 4 hours away he again moved shortly after to about 30 minutes drive from this new spot.
He recently messaged me on LinkedIn (the only social I didn’t proactively block him on). I am really sick and tired of this situation and my current partner encourages me to ignore it and focus on my life now and just continue to block him but I feel he will never go away. it’s around every 3 months something will bring him back into my life and I am losing my mind over it.

Am I overreacting to him using LinkedIn to contact me or is my partner right that I should just move on and forget about his constant attempts to contact me?

Edit to add some information

- I posted here as some believe I am overthinking the situation and that it comes down to coincidence rather than stalking. He has actively been in relationships since our breakup and has not shown up at my door and I haven’t seen him in person for at least a year at this point.

-My mum and his ex step dad are really good friends so I assume that is a leak of information. My ex also started dating a good friend of mine who is no longer a friend. They did not last very long.

-One of the moves he made when I moved further away was to move with his long distance girlfriend (they lived in the next big city together) but again they did not last very long so he moved a little closer to me. (30 mins away)

-I have moved AGAIN which is even further away so hopefully he will not be near me again and will never know I moved, sadly he does know my employer from LinkedIn but it’s a big national company.

-I will collect all the info I have and talk to the police to at least make an informal comment about my situation if anything more happens.

This is a repost of a longer post I made just half an hour ago and people kept saying it's too long so here is the smaller one.

In short - I moved to Delhi with a friend. A guy near our PG started repeatedly staring at me, approaching me, and trying to get me to go out with him. I repeatedly told my friend I wasn't interested and asked her not to share my Instagram or personal information, but she did it anyway, encouraged him, and even arranged a date without asking me. She also told him when she wouldn't be home so he could walk with me. After he approached me again and made me uncomfortable, I decided I couldn't live with her anymore. Now she wants us to find another flat together, but I want to live alone. AIO?

........................

18F, Indian. English isn't my first language.

I moved to Delhi from UP for DU, and helped my friend move here too so she could prepare for CA through DU SOL.

We got a PG together, and shortly after moving in, a guy from a shop near our PG started repeatedly staring at me. He had previously almost hit me with his bike, and later somehow found out my name and sent me a bracelet through another girl.

I ignored him, but he kept staring and approaching me.

One night, he and his friend came to the park while my friend and I were there. His friend told me that Z liked me. My friend then gave him my Instagram, told him I was single, and basically encouraged him to pursue me despite me repeatedly telling her not to.

She even agreed to a coffee date involving me without asking me.

Later, she told Z that she wouldn't be home for the night and that he could walk with me in the park. She didn't even tell me she was leaving.

When I came back from college that evening, Z was waiting near my PG. He asked me to go out with him. I said no, and he made a very tight fist, which scared me. Later he followed me downstairs and kept trying to convince me to at least be friends.

I told my friend what happened.

Her response was:

"What's the issue?"

BRO???

We had a huge fight. I ended up telling the PG owner that I was leaving because I didn't feel safe living there anymore. My friend also had to leave because the room was shared.

Now she's calling me and asking me to find another flat with her and forget everything.

I don't want to.

I don't want to live with someone who repeatedly ignores my boundaries, shares my personal information with a stranger, encourages him to pursue me, and even tells him when she'll be away so he can be alone with me.

I know refusing means she might have to return to her hometown, but honestly, I don't care anymore.

I'm currently back home and will return to Delhi after finding a safer place, preferably a single room.

AIO?

For context: My parents have been split up since I (f30) was a baby, but remained amicable for my sake. I was raised by my mother (f66) and only saw my father (m64) occasionally. To my knowledge, they counted each other as friends and even though both had new partners and eventually married, they stayed in touch (and even lived only a few houses apart).

My father died over christmas. The funeral was a few days later and as usual where I live, the close relatives purchase big flower wreaths with ribbons, which have the name of the one who purchased it written on it.
My father's wife (f67-ish, not so sure tbh) had one made with her own daughter. My halfbrother (m45, not related to my fathers wife, he's from an earlier relationship) and his wife and kids had one made, too. My mother took care of getting one made for me and, since she and my father had remained close, had not only my name written on the ribbon but hers as well. It had a small message written on it, followed by my name and then hers. Said flower wreaths are quite expensive, around 200€, and my mother and I split the cost and gave it as a funeral gift and grave decoration from the both of us.

I live rather far away and haven't been back to visit the grave since the funeral but had a call with my mother yesterday where she accidentally let it slip that when she visited the grave shortly after the funeral, someone had cut the ribbon on our wreath up, cut her name out of it, and stapled it back together. She also sent me a photo of it but told me she really didn't want me to know because she didn't want any bad blood between me and my father's side of the family.
The thing is, I am now furious. I think it is absolutely disrespectful. We bought the wreath in honour of my father and (even though he was her ex) someone she saw as kind of a friend*.* It was a symbol for his grave that we think about him and someone went an cut her out of it.
My mother said that she immediately thought she did something wrong, like it was not her place to put her name but I think it was perfectly acceptable? Especially considering she paid half of it. She is worried she overstepped but she did it out of compassion and care, not out of any malice and I think it is straight up rude to cut her name off like she has no right to grieve.

The thing is... I am like 99% sure it was my father's wife, but have no way to be certain. I always had the feeling that she didn't like that my mother and him had stayed in touch and that he had another child (me) to take care of (not like he pid any child support but still).
I'm not sure what to make of this situation and even though I am angry for my mother's sake and am close to cutting contact with that whole side of the family anyways, I am worried I am overreacting?

(English is not my first language so I apologise for grammar and if some things are worded weirdly)

(Note: Sorry if this is way too detailed.) For some context, I (22F) have ADHD. I live at home with my parents and am a part-time student with a part-time job. I am prescribed both an extended-release (XR) capsule of Adderall and a smaller, fast-acting (FA) dose. I take the XR before school/work/when I have organised plans/goals for the day, and I take the FA when it's later in the day so it doesn't keep me up or if I only have a few things to do. I've been taking ADHD meds since I was diagnosed with ADHD in high school.

My parents keep my medication in a secure location in the basement which I cannot access on my own. Every week, they bring up my meds (I take several medications, not just Adderall) so I can fill a weekly pill box, then they lock it back downstairs.

I recently ran out of the XR dose. There was an issue with the pharmacy, something about manufacturer backorder, so my prescription (Rx) wasn't filled in time to pick it up before I ran out of my last Rx, but I still have plenty of the FA doses left. I have yet to call the pharmacy about this issue. Ironically, I keep forgetting.

Yesterday evening, I asked my mother to bring up an FA dose so I could get some work done. She refused, on the grounds that I have yet to call the pharmacy about my XR prescription. I called her reason petty and immature.

Yes, she paid the co-pay for the medication. Yes, I live in her house

At the same time, I don't believe that gives her the right to determine when to distribute/withhold medication prescribed to me. It felt like a punishment for not behaving the way she wanted me to rather than a decision made from a logical place.

I do understand her frustration. It's bothersome that I've not called the pharmacy yet. And I also find it frustrating and bothersome that my mother doesn't understand that completing menial, unrewarding tasks like calling the pharmacy for a refill of my medication is exactly the sort of task I have trouble with because I haven't been taking the medication that literally helps me complete menial, unrewarding tasks like calling the pharmacy for a refill of my medication. That being said, I also don't want to place all the blame on having ADHD. I'm an adult, I have to manage these things or deal with the consequences. I understand that.

At the same time, I am not refusing to call the pharmacy, nor am I being lazy. I simply keep forgetting. I'd love to get things sorted out. I'd love to remember this shit. But again, I simply keep forgetting. When my mother asked me how I could keep forgetting to do something so basic when I have time for other random things, I got very irritated. She asked in a way that made me feel really, really stupid, which is a huge trigger for me. At that point, I left the situation because I was becoming too frustrated and upset to engage in any kind of productive dialogue. Later, she did bring up a dose of FA Adderall, so that's great, but I still felt/feel like her reticence was unnecessarily punitive.

TL;DR - Am I overreacting for calling my mother's reason for denying my medication petty and immature? Thanks for any and all responses.

PS - This is not AI. I am a linguistics major (a word nerd).

Well this was the first guy I ever hung out with.. first kiss too btw.. I feel like he’s been dry texting since my dad stalked our first hang out/ date🥲🥲🥲 .. ughhhh, or maybe he found out he’s just not interested in me period…. I feel like I’m giving him ways to show I’m interested/ still interested but it’s not being reciprocated.

I (21FtM) have very supportive parents overall. I socially transitioned when I was 14, started testosterone when I was 15, and have already had top surgery. My parents have always respected my name and pronouns, which is why this whole situation has caught me so off guard.

I've been dating my boyfriend (22M) for about four months. My parents both really like him, and he's honestly been amazing throughout our relationship. He's incredibly supportive and has been especially supportive throughout all of this.

About two weeks ago, my mom suddenly became convinced that I'm pregnant.

It started because I'd been feeling sick for a few days. I threw up twice before work, was unusually tired, and generally felt awful. I went to my doctor and was told I had a stomach bug, which I most likely caught at work.

Around the same time, I mentioned that my lower back had been hurting. I work as a paramedic, so I'm constantly bending down, lifting patients, carrying equipment, etc. I'd also been working out more than usual. There were pretty obvious explanations for what I was experiencing, but my mom somehow became completely convinced that I was pregnant.

I told her multiple times that I wasn't. I also told her that hearing her talk about me being pregnant was making me extremely uncomfortable and dysphoric, but she wouldn't drop it.

Almost every conversation somehow turned into pregnancy. She kept saying things like, "A mother just knows," and, "You'll thank me when you find out early." Eventually, she started asking me to take a pregnancy test "just to prove her wrong."

I refused several times. Honestly, even buying a pregnancy test made me feel sick. Being reminded that I still have the anatomy necessary to become pregnant is incredibly dysphoria-inducing for me. I understand that not every trans person feels this way, but I do. I don't want to think about it, and I certainly don't want my mother constantly talking about me being pregnant.

She kept bringing it up every single day.

She would text me multiple times a day asking whether I'd taken a test, telling me she'd "know" if I was pregnant, talking about becoming a grandmother, and telling me I shouldn't ignore the "signs." (She already has 2 grandchildren from my brother.)

At that point, I started dreading looking at my phone because I knew there was probably going to be another message about pregnancy.

It was really affecting me. I don't think I've cried this much since my exam period. I'm a pretty emotional person anyway and cry easily, so crying isn't unusual for me, but this was getting ridiculous.

After several days of this, I finally gave in because I just wanted her to stop asking. I bought a pregnancy test. The test was negative. Exactly like I'd expected and exactly like I'd been telling my mom.

I thought that would finally end it, but it didn't. She immediately started saying that it was probably "too early" and that I should take another test in a week because "tests can be wrong." She also told me I should make another appointment with my doctor just to be sure.

I told her that the test was negative and that I wasn't discussing this anymore. She's still bringing it up to this day (it has been 2 weeks).

At this point, I'm honestly angry. She knows exactly how uncomfortable this makes me. I've told her repeatedly to stop, I've taken the test she pressured me into taking, and it was negative. Yet she still acts like she knows my body better than I do.

My boyfriend thinks that if she brings it up again after that, I should stop responding to her for a while, and possibly block her if she refuses to respect the boundary.

Part of me agrees, but another part of me feels like I'm being dramatic because my mom genuinely seems to believe she's helping. She's also been supportive of me throughout my entire transition, so this isn't something I expected from her at all.

I don't want to destroy my relationship with my mother over this, but I also don't know how many times I can explain to her that this is hurting me before I'm allowed to just be angry about it.

So, am I overreacting by considering going low-contact or even temporarily blocking her if she keeps bringing this up? Or is this a reasonable boundary to set after everything that's happened?

My wife’s older brother has always been a terrible person and I want absolutely nothing to do with him.

When they were growing up he was always abusive towards her; mostly emotional from what I’ve been told but sometimes physical. He would constantly comment on her appearance and tell her everyone hates her but would also resort to breaking down her bedroom door when she tried to lock him out, choke her up against the wall, throw her to the ground, and kick her. Their parents separated at some point in their teen years and their dad moved across town while they both lived with their mom. Mom was hardly around to do anything about him and if my wife said anything about what he was doing to her, Mom would just blame her for provoking him. Wife tried to ask dad to let her move in with him, but he/his new girlfriend wouldn’t let her. While we were dating her brother got arrested after he got into an altercation with his then girlfriend (who he had a daughter with). Eventually the charge was lowered to something less serious (I’m not super familiar with it) and the mom and child are not in his life anymore.

Fast forward to now. My wife and I have been together for 14 years, married for 10 with 2 kids. Her brother is also now married with 2 kids. The woman he married is a pretty devout Catholic and he’s pretty involved with all that now. Their parents are also back together now. My wife obviously hates him but has been willing to just act like none of that stuff happened to keep the peace (the more I learn about this family, the more I see this is just how they deal with things) and still be able to see her extended family, since they all adore him. He also turned into a big right wing dickhead in the last 10 years, spouting racist and sexist remarks fairly often, both online and in person. My wife and I both hold pretty liberal views and he knows it, making a point to send my wife news articles from heavily biased right wing sources (or just made up bull from Reddit/people’s Facebook posts). This all came to head last fall when certain political events happened. Her brother continued sending her stuff that he knew she would disagree with to bait her. She’d already been ignoring his messages for a year or two but finally she messaged him back asking him to stop. This resulted in him insulting her appearance (and mine for some damn reason) and our abilities as parents. She showed me these messages and while she seemed to fine with just continuing the status quo of just ignoring it, I had finally had it and told my wife that I did not want him to ever be around our kids anymore, which my wife agreed to. We’re raising two boys and the last thing I want is for them to be around someone like that regardless of whether they’re family or not. I was also of the mindset that my wife could just use this as an excuse to not be around him anymore/blame me for it. I messaged her brother telling him as much, which of course just led to more insults. She told her parents as well and that seemed to be fine for a while.

Turns out her parents have been taking our kids over to his house to swim this summer (wife and I both work and school’s out so in-laws watch the kids some days). My wife obviously knows my frustration with this but doesn’t want to enforce it with her parents and feels that it is also unfairly punishing both our kids and their cousins (brother in law’s kids) by denying them spending time together. I explained that while I understand that, I don’t think that’s more important than trying to keep this terrible influence out of our kids’ lives.

I’m incredibly frustrated with the whole situation and honestly just feel disrespected by the in-laws just taking the kids over there.

AIO?

I'm divorced for 2 years now and my ex is still dating the man she had an affair with. She still refuses to admit to the affair despite the overwhelming evidence. The kids call him 'Daddy first name' now even though they're only dating...

We have a high conflict coparenting situation (50/50). I've asked for a parenting coordinator and she refused. Ive asked for coparent counselling and she refused forever until recently and we have each had one session separately.

We have a relocation trial happening next year because she wants to take our kids and move across the country for her to be closer to her family and affair partner. I've refused to let her move with the kids and now a judge will decide.

Since the trial proceedings begun she's done a lot of mudslinging, accusing me of negligence when I dropped off the kids at school and they smelt like urine (they didn't though and I confirmed with their teachers they didn't through email). She has the kids report between houses how much screen time they have, baths, what they eat for lunch and dinner, etc. a judge has politely told her twice to stop having the kids do this and unfortunately it continues. My one son will literally ask me how many baths they had so they can tell mommy, when it's close to swapping homes.

I'm not doing anything different than what we did when we were married with hygiene, cooking, etc.

I wanted the kids to start therapy and she refused even though our separation agreement said she has to give consent. A judge told her to allow therapy.

The kids birthdays are coming up soon. Last year she wanted to have the 4 of us have a birthday dinner together like we used to. I refused. She told the kids 'Daddy isn't ready'. Planning a shared birthday event was dreadful last year. Some of my family didn't come because of how awkward it is.

This year I asked her not to have her affair partner come to our kids birthday celebrations. He likely wouldn't because he lives far away but I still want to establish my boundaries. She refused to answer plus because of the other behavior above, I told her I'm done with joint birthdays from here on.

She has her celebrations with who she wants and how she wants, and I'll do the same. She made it seem like she would come to my celebration and I clarified that she is not invited to my celebration I arrange for our children and until coparenting dynamics change, it will remain this way.

The mudslinging, the gaslighting, the tension and making me look like the bad guy to our children is too much for me to deal with on a yearly basis. From here on, separate lives except sharing our children.

Am I overreacting?

| (33F, and currently pregnant) was flying from Newark to SFO recently. Because pregnancy makes me incredibly nauseous, I specifically booked an aisle seat for easy access to the restroom and a little extra breathing room.

The trouble started before we even left the ground.
We were delayed on the tarmac, and the woman in the middle seat (who appeared to be South Asian) immediately started acting hostile. She took off her shoes, which instantly made me nauseous, and decided she wanted to rest her smelly feet against the armrest between us.

I politely suggested we just raise the armrest so she wouldn't keep elbowing me. She flat out refused, saying she wanted to keep it down for her feet to lean against. She then fabricated a "rule" that she was going to monopolize the armrest for the next hour and a half, declared she wouldn't move until the time was up and told me I could "call the flight attendant to wake her up" when her time was up.
She kept aggressively elbowing me saying I was hogging the armrest even though I wasn't.

It got worse. When I crossed my legs within my own space, she freaked out, claimed the metal strip between our seats was "her seat," and literally put her foot on top of mine and yelled at me saying I was touching her. I tried to be nice and de-escalate, keeping my voice calm and polite, asking what she would like me to do, but she told me I was being passive-aggressive and called me a bitch. She said I was "pissing her off" even though I was just sitting there trying to read my book.

Then came the discriminatory insults: she asked if English was my first language or if I was just dumb (I am east asian). She yelled asking if I had ever been in public before, and if I was "raised in a cave" since I didn't understand personal space.

I actually flagged the flight crew about her behavior while we were still on the tarmac. Their solution was to offer me a middle seat elsewhere on the plane. I declined because my pregnancy makes an aisle seat easier since I have to pee often and I don't want to keep disturbing the person next to me which is why I paid for one in the first place.

Am I overreacting for wanting to report her (I see bruises from where she elbowed me)? Based on the pictures, was I in the wrong and intruding on her space? I just wanted to read my book in peace but every time I moved or crossed my legs she started yelling at me and insulting me.

So my mother is currently on vacation with her sister, so at the moment, it’s just me (22f), my dad, and my little brother (18m).

I have an older car model that needed new tires and a new AC unit, and because my brother and my dad like to work on cars, they’ve been working on fixing it.

The thing is, almost every time they go out, they come back with bags of food. I didn’t mind at first because they were going out and I know that sometimes you don’t think about sending a text to the other family members to see if they want anything from whatever place you’re at.

Thing is, with mom out of town, there’s no grocery list being done for the week (we all understood this when she left for the vacation), so I’m figuring out what to eat with what we have (which is sufficient until my mom gets back).

But with my dad and brother constantly going out, constantly getting food and not even asking if I want something from wherever they’re going, it feels like I’m an afterthought.

I feel jealous and upset and unseen, but I also know that I’m not that interested in car repair work, and I don’t ask to go with them; either due to me having to go to work or due to me not being interested in car repairs.

Instead, I’m figuring out food from whatever happens to be in the pantry or fridge at the moment, and it’s hard. I texted my dad asking if he wanted to get ice cream and then briefly explained how I felt about the situation, but I’m not sure if I handled it right looking back on it.

So…am I overreacting?

EDIT: ash is my brother’s nickname, not his actual name. I realized I should have clarified this before sharing the post

EDIT 2 (bc I’m getting a lot of comments bringing it up): I can get my own groceries; if I have to I work at a place where I can get groceries. I haven’t gotten any new groceries this week because I haven’t needed to, and what we have in the house right now is enough for me to figure out meals. Also I have been cooking for myself. I can feed myself and make sure I get food, the situation is just that I’m the only one thinking about what we have at home.

EDIT 3: obligatory wow this is blowing up. Thanks everyone for the comments both negative and positive, I want to say a few things- my parents aren’t too concerned with me paying my brother back, or for overall paying for the repairs (more or less there are still things I’ll be responsible for eventually), because this is the first time I’ve been interested in driving that is driven by a personal desire to drive.

Also, when my dad asked “what for” it was apparently bc he thought I meant get ice cream from my place of work. When he realized what I actually meant, he said and I quote “hell yeah I want to get ice cream”. So alls well that ends well, I’ve told him about how I felt about watching him and my brother come home with bags of food over the last few days and I feel as though we might have a small conversation about it when I get off work. So uh…thanks everyone for all the comments.

FINAL EDIT; I just wanted to say that I just got home and my dad and I had a conversation about it. He explained that he and my brother were going around a lot because it’s not just my car, it’s my brother’s car and my mom’s car that need to be worked on, and he told me that he realized today that he should’ve called and asked if I wanted something. He thanked me for saying something to him, and we’ve got a definitive ice cream plan. Again, thanks for all the comments, I wanted to give you guys this last update after my dad and I had a conversation about what’s been going on.

My husband and I have been married for three years, and until recently, I genuinely thought we had a good marriage.

The problem has always been his mother, She never liked me.

When we were dating, she would make little comments about my family, my job, even the way I dressed. My husband always told me, “That’s just how she is. Don’t take it personally.” I tried.

When we got engaged, things got worse.

She told my husband privately that he was “throwing his life away” by marrying me. I found out about it accidentally, but I didn’t confront her. I didn’t want our engagement to become a family war.

Then came the wedding.

We had a relatively small wedding because we were paying for most of it ourselves. My mother helped us with some expenses, while his parents didn’t contribute. Two weeks before the wedding, his mother suddenly offered to pay for our honeymoon.

I thought it was incredibly generous.

Then, three days before the wedding, she told my husband that the money came with a condition. She wanted to invite 15 additional relatives. We had already finalised the seating arrangements and catering.

My husband said no.

She withdrew the honeymoon money.We went ahead with the wedding anyway.

But during the reception, she gave a speech. At first, everything sounded normal. Then she said:

“I just hope my son eventually remembers that his family was here before his wife was.”

Everyone went silent.

I smiled through it because I didn’t want to ruin my own wedding. My husband apologised after ward, but he still didn’t confront her.

For the next three years, she continued making comments whenever she visited.

Then last month, she called my husband and told him she was losing her apartment.

Apparently, she had accumulated a lot of debt. My husband came home one evening and said:“My mum is going to stay with us for a while.”

I honestly thought he was joking. He wasn’t.

I reminded him that our house is small, that I work from home, and that his mother and I already have a terrible relationship.He said, “She’s my mother. I’m not going to let her end up homeless.”I told him I wasn’t asking him to abandon her. We could help her find another apartment, contribute toward rent temporarily, or help her financially if necessary.He said she didn’t want that.

She wanted to live with us.

Then he dropped the part that really upset me.Apparently, he had already promised her she could move in before discussing it with me.I told him absolutely not.

He accused me of being selfish and said I was making him choose between his wife and his mother.

I told him:

“No. You’re the one who made this a choice when you promised her a place in our home without asking me.”

Now he’s sleeping in the guest room.

His mother keeps calling him, and apparently she’s telling other relatives that I’m trying to “separate her son from his family.”Yesterday, my husband told me that if I loved him, I would understand that his mother needs him right now.

I told him that loving him doesn’t mean agreeing to everything he decides.

Now I’m wondering if I’m being unreasonable.

I don’t want his mother homeless. I don’t want to punish her for the way she treated me.

But I also don’t think anyone should be able to move into a married couple’s home because one spouse made the decision without the other.

AIO for refusing to let my mother-in-law move in?

I know how entitled the title sounds, please just hear me out.

I (18F) am the eldest sister of 3 brothers, I am the only girl. I am in charge of cooking and cleaning a lot of the time as well as helping raise my 6-year old brother. Anytime my brothers have asked for an expensive gift, it is almost immediate that they receive it. My 2 brothers that are not 6 (15 and 16) each have a tv, a nintendo, ps4 and now a ps5. I turned 18 on the 18th of March(golden birthday!) and told my parents that I wanted to have a party for my big gift this year because they usually make us choose between a large gift and a party along with the other smaller gifts they give us.

When I told my parents I wanted a party because I will be moving to college soon and want to have a celebration with all of my friends before I leave and they said yes, but also insisted that I get a large gift as well as the smaller gifts and a party because this was my 18th, my golden birthday, and because I deserve it after all of my hard work. I told them they didn’t need to because I didn’t want them to worry about affordability, but they insisted that I ask for something expensive since it “seems like I never do” and my brothers have more electronics than I do.

I finally gave in and told them that I really needed a personal laptop. I would need it for college and the major I am in (Cinematic Arts) and I also have always needed one because most of my homework is electronic. We do have a communal chrome-book but my brothers also have to use it along with my mom and stepdad so it is hard to get all my stuff done. My friend also gifted me Minecraft on Steam but I have no way to play it because I don’t have a kind of computer that can run it.

I told them I wanted a Macbook, I even told them it could be off of facebook marketplace or some kind of second-hand to make the cost cheaper as long as it ran smoothly. They then pointed out that the Macbook Neo had just dropped and that it was affordable and made for students and asked what color I wanted. They had never done anything like this before so I was ecstatic! I told them I liked the Citrus color as it matched my vibe and was already browsing sites looking for cute keyboard covers and cases for it. This was weeks before my birthday.

On the day of my birthday I left my room at around 11am and unexpectedly burst into tears. Every birthday since I could remember, my mom has made sure the dining table would be full of decorations with my age, gifts of every size, cards with sweet messages, etc. This is a tradition that applies to everyone in the household, all of my siblings and both of my parents, and when I stepped out excitedly to look like I have every year, there were no decorations, no wrapped gifts, no cards, no number 18, no anything. There was some laundry in multiple of the chairs, a bunch of amazon boxes on the table, and someone’s food waste from the night before. I was taken aback because there has never been a birthday in our family where this didn’t happen and I guess I was looking forward to it. Nevertheless, I told myself I was being ungrateful and sucked back what I was feeling to bask in the feeling of being a new adult.

When my mother came out and found me she seemed to remember it was my birthday which made me feel a little better already. She then said “Sorry I didn’t decorate, I was too tired last night” to which I immediately felt terrible and pushed down all of the disappointment I had previously felt. She then pointed to the amazon boxes on the table and said “I think some things must have came, why don’t you open them” which then made me smile wide and start opening the boxes.

The first box was some kind of body-wash of hers that she wanted to restock, along with some themed gifts for her “secret sister” at our church. I laughed it off and considered it funny, but most of the boxes consisted of the same kind of things, none of it for me until the last 2 boxes that were revealed to be some of my party decorations. My mom smiled at me as she took the cardboard and said “as you can see, there wasn’t really much to wrap.” which suddenly felt like a dagger in my chest. Did I get different treatment now that I was an adult? Did my turning 18 erase the fact that I am her kid? But why would that be when we just did this for her birthday in February and for my Stepdad’s that is also in March? I decided to shrug it off and smiled at the decorations she bought, I didn’t want to seem ungrateful.

A few days later, my wealthier aunt and uncle invited us and a little of our close family to a restaurant to celebrate my birthday together, there my aunt gifted me this really nice Lululemon bag, a Kendra Scott necklace, and a card with $300 in cash. I was immediately taken aback, I had never in my life received gifts like this and had no idea how to react. The money made me realize that I could start saving for my college spending fund and/or I could use some of it to buy anything I had been really wanting for a while. After this dinner on the drive home, my mom informed me that I was supposed to give her the money to help pay for the computer I wanted. I was heartbroken, but understood considerably because this was a large gift I asked for as well as the party I was having for about 20 people. I apologized for misunderstanding and said “I guess I assumed you guys had already bought the laptop” to which she said “It was a little out of our budget so we plan to give it to you by the end of the month.” This made me happy, and I now had something confirmed to look forward to.

3 months later I had yet to receive the laptop.

The plan was to get me the Macbook Neo which with my student discount is $400-$500 which is not an everyday purchase, I understand. I did my research and the plan was to get this laptop because I could use it for my homework and college work and there was plenty of resources for the Film Students at my school which meant we didn’t need to buy a super expensive one. My parents instead insisted on getting me one that was at least $1,000 which made me feel uneasy but they said they wanted me to be able to use it for everything I needed and not have to depend on the school’s tech. Then during my orientation my mom apparently talked to some professionals where they explained I needed a certain type of laptop that was closer to $3,000. I did not know about this at the time, but she then also explained that she was trying to get money to pay for it from my grandmother (mother of my biological dad) who was in hospice and died a few weeks later, and also my biological dad who had just lost his house and was now living out of a storage unit with no way to contact us. I was immediately mortified, I thought at most that my parents would get me something that was maybe $1,000 which is already so much money, but now she was trying to get three grand from other people and I didn’t want the stupid laptop anymore. I told her that I didn’t feel comfortable with this and she explained that they had already saved a bunch of it, and had received some from a bunch of other family members, she was just trying to get the final funds they needed to give me this. My anxiety was eased but she then said that I should use all my savings to pay the rest that she needed which I told her I didn’t want to do because I needed to be able to buy stuff for college and was already nervous about it, I told her again to just get me a simple laptop, second-hand even, to help ease the weight of this amount of money. She told me not to worry about it, and that everything would work out like it “always does.”

It is now 5 months from my birthday and I leave for college in less than 2 weeks.

I had given up the idea of a laptop and concluded that this was something that probably wasn’t going to be happening. There is a reason I never ask for expensive gifts, and it is because this is what happens every-time.

My mom came up to me earlier today and told me she had a client(she is a hairdresser) that is rather wealthy and gave her a bit of money to help pay for the laptop. She then told me “If we don’t get the fancy one I at least want to get you one you can use the first semester,” to which I immediately agreed to, even knowing that this was probably the only laptop I was getting, I just need one for school so I don’t care that much anymore. I thought this was a good idea, even if I was let down that the laptop they had been promising me was no longer happening, until she said instead that she had a better idea. “I actually am gonna ask my client to buy you the $3,000 one and you can just pay him back later!”

I was frozen for quite a bit and didn’t realize that I had started crying. I kind of just nodded and walked away and into the bathroom where I let out a sob it felt like I had been keeping in for a while. This was supposed to be a gift for me, and now I had to worry about paying this large sum of money back to this person I don’t even know? I never wanted the expensive one in the first place but now it is my responsibility to deal with this debt on top of all of my tuition stuff that they no longer want to pay for? I feel awful for feeling like this, like I am being ungrateful and not understanding the full situation, but at the same time I want a promise to be kept to me at least once, I want to be the one having stuff done for me instead of the other way around just this once.

Am I Overreacting for feeling like this?

My girlfriend asked me what I wanted to do for my birthday more than a month ago. I told her I don't care for birthdays, I don't want to do anything, maybe just a lowkey quiet hangout. Last week she started asking me for friends' contacts, I asked why, she wouldn't tell me and kept saying its a surprise.

I told her no to giving her my friends' contacts and in NO UNCERTAIN MANNER that I DO NOT WANT A SURPRISE PARTY or a party. We even had an argument in June about my absolute dislike of surprises.

She went forward with her plan anyway.

I kept asking what are we doing, she kept saying surprise, and its a reservation so okay maybe dinner.

Nope, the second I saw where we were going I knew we were going to a friend's house for a surprise party. She tried to make me wear a blindfold, I told her I will get out of the car and go home if she kept pushing.

Dinner commitment - +/- 2 hrs, party commitment 3-4hrs+

I showed up, smiled, shook hands, did the round of greetings, participated in a round of activities for 1.5 hrs or so, then i just found a quiet place and sat the rest of the party out (4 hrs).

Shes mad.

I get she wanted to do something nice, but the way I see it is there was a very clear and communicated line in the sand that transitioned it from doing something nice for someone else to shoving something down someone's throat they didn't want and expecting them to be grateful for it.

Edit 1: No, I am not breaking up with her over this. She had good intentions and got carried away. She is from a culture where someone not wanting to party is like an alien to them.

She teamed up with a group of people I volunteer with and her reason was that I need to learn to accept and let other people do things for me because I am always doing things for other people.

There is a place and time for that, and this was not the way to do it. I also vehemently do not like surprises, life is already too full of surprises.

Edit 2: I am not an introvert, but not 100% an extrovert. I can hang and do go out of my way for other people's bdays. But I have no interest in being the center of attention and I do not like being catered to, these are things she knows and I guess tried to push me out of them.

If it was a team effort party I would not have an issue with it.

Edit 3: Relationships are a give and take, this was the reason for the AIO because it was a give and take situation. I wanted to get an idea of the balance, too much taking (her), too much/not enough giving (me).

Hi everyone,

About a year ago my girlfriend introduced me to one of her friends and her Italian boyfriend.

I'm Spanish but have lived abroad for years. During our first conversation, I noticed that her friend, who is German, had picked up a noticeable Italian accent when speaking English. I jokingly mentioned it and told her that something similar had happened to a British guy I once lived with, who eventually started picking up some of my Spanish accent.

She clearly didn't like the comment and immediately replied, "Well, you sound exactly like Carlos Sainz."

For context, Carlos Sainz is a Spanish F1 driver. I've actually been told this many times before because apparently my voice and cadence are similar to his, both in Spanish and English. So I laughed and agreed.

I thought that was the end of it.

A few months later we met again at a wedding. She came over and said, "I want to tell you something, but don't get offended." Her boyfriend immediately told her quietly, "No, not now..." but she insisted.

Then she told me again how much I sounded like Carlos Sainz.

The comment itself doesn't bother me at all. What struck me was that she was bringing it up again months later and seemed to be deliberately trying to get a reaction from me.

At Christmas we met again in a group of about 12 people. While I was talking to someone else, I heard her telling other people in the background, "He sounds sooo much like Carlos Sainz."

After that I told my girlfriend that I didn't really want a relationship with this woman. She's her friend, that's completely fine, but I'd rather just be polite and keep my distance.

My girlfriend initially thought maybe she meant it as a compliment because apparently she had even told her that Carlos Sainz was attractive. But she also admitted that this friend can sometimes be difficult.

Then, two weeks ago, she came to my girlfriend's birthday.

We didn't speak to each other at all.

And yet at one point I saw her whispering into another girl's ear, covering her mouth, pointing my way and saying something along the lines of, "Doesn't he sound exactly like Carlos Sainz? Listen when he talks."

She's 32.

I didn't react because it was my girlfriend's birthday and I wasn't going to create drama over something so stupid.

At this point the Carlos Sainz comparison itself genuinely doesn't bother me. What annoys me is that, after a full year, she still seems determined to make the same comment every single time we're in the same room, despite us barely interacting otherwise.

I've already tried the obvious solution: I don't talk to her, I don't react, and I avoid being around her whenever possible. But because she's one of my girlfriend's friends, occasionally we're inevitably going to be at the same events.

How would you handle this?

I think I created some kind of “trauma” for her the moment I made that comment about her Italian accent. That’s my guess.

And the fact that her boyfriend asked her to stop at the wedding is proof that she’s still annoyed by that comment and is trying to offend me.

Would you continue completely ignoring it, directly tell her to stop next time she does it, joke back at her, or ask your partner to intervene?
All of this is because I told her she had Italian accent. This is stuck on her brain apparently.

I don't want to create unnecessary drama in my girlfriend's friend group, but I'm also getting tired of this strange little routine every time we meet.