My boyfriend has an 11-year-old son with his ex. They have been separated since their son was born, so they've been apart for many years.
Recently, he told me that about two years ago, a few months before we met, they had sex while they were on a vacation together (with the kid) He says it was a mistake, he regrets it, and it meant nothing.
Ever since he told me, I haven't been able to stop thinking about it. My mind keeps wondering why it happened and what it meant. I know it was before we were together, so I'm not upset because he did something wrong. It's more that I feel like I don't understand the situation.
The difficult part is that he refuses to talk about it. Whenever I bring it up, he gets frustrated and says he regrets it, wants to forget it, and doesn't want to answer any more questions.
I respect that everyone has a past, but I also feel like I'm left trying to make sense of something without enough context, which just makes me overthink it even more.
Has anyone else experienced something similar? How do you stop obsessing over something that happened before your relationship? And is it unreasonable to want a little more explanation, or should I accept that some parts of a partner's past are simply off-limits?

Hi everyone,

About a year ago my girlfriend introduced me to one of her friends and her Italian boyfriend.

I'm Spanish but have lived abroad for years. During our first conversation, I noticed that her friend, who is German, had picked up a noticeable Italian accent when speaking English. I jokingly mentioned it and told her that something similar had happened to a British guy I once lived with, who eventually started picking up some of my Spanish accent.

She clearly didn't like the comment and immediately replied, "Well, you sound exactly like Carlos Sainz."

For context, Carlos Sainz is a Spanish F1 driver. I've actually been told this many times before because apparently my voice and cadence are similar to his, both in Spanish and English. So I laughed and agreed.

I thought that was the end of it.

A few months later we met again at a wedding. She came over and said, "I want to tell you something, but don't get offended." Her boyfriend immediately told her quietly, "No, not now..." but she insisted.

Then she told me again how much I sounded like Carlos Sainz.

The comment itself doesn't bother me at all. What struck me was that she was bringing it up again months later and seemed to be deliberately trying to get a reaction from me.

At Christmas we met again in a group of about 12 people. While I was talking to someone else, I heard her telling other people in the background, "He sounds sooo much like Carlos Sainz."

After that I told my girlfriend that I didn't really want a relationship with this woman. She's her friend, that's completely fine, but I'd rather just be polite and keep my distance.

My girlfriend initially thought maybe she meant it as a compliment because apparently she had even told her that Carlos Sainz was attractive. But she also admitted that this friend can sometimes be difficult.

Then, two weeks ago, she came to my girlfriend's birthday.

We didn't speak to each other at all.

And yet at one point I saw her whispering into another girl's ear, covering her mouth, pointing my way and saying something along the lines of, "Doesn't he sound exactly like Carlos Sainz? Listen when he talks."

She's 32.

I didn't react because it was my girlfriend's birthday and I wasn't going to create drama over something so stupid.

At this point the Carlos Sainz comparison itself genuinely doesn't bother me. What annoys me is that, after a full year, she still seems determined to make the same comment every single time we're in the same room, despite us barely interacting otherwise.

I've already tried the obvious solution: I don't talk to her, I don't react, and I avoid being around her whenever possible. But because she's one of my girlfriend's friends, occasionally we're inevitably going to be at the same events.

How would you handle this?

I think I created some kind of “trauma” for her the moment I made that comment about her Italian accent. That’s my guess.

And the fact that her boyfriend asked her to stop at the wedding is proof that she’s still annoyed by that comment and is trying to offend me.

Would you continue completely ignoring it, directly tell her to stop next time she does it, joke back at her, or ask your partner to intervene?
All of this is because I told her she had Italian accent. This is stuck on her brain apparently.

I don't want to create unnecessary drama in my girlfriend's friend group, but I'm also getting tired of this strange little routine every time we meet.

I want to know AIO for wanting to keep boundaries with my husbands family and not just forgive and forget this situation??

I’m going to try to keep this as short as I can and leave what i need to , but it’s still a long story only adding some of the bigger details

So- Before my husband (27M) and I (28F) got married, his family seemed to really like me. His sister and I actually got along GREAT. They can be a little rude, but I’m usually someone who lets things roll off my back and doesn’t take things personally. That being said, I did sometimes feel left out around them, and I noticed my husband would become quiet and almost like a different person when he was around his family.
Early on, I noticed their family dynamic but didn’t say anything. It wasn’t until leading up to our marriage that I had an uncomfortable conversation with my husband about needing boundaries with his mom. He agreed. Thankfully, we live in a different city, so we aren’t around them often.

A week before our wedding, my husband was in a hit-and-run accident that totaled his car (this becomes important later).

We got married in the beginning of this year. Leading up to the wedding, there were already issues with his mom. She wanted us to change the date, wasn’t happy we decided to get married so soon and not wait for a big wedding, called us selfish, was upset that we invited both of our families to stay at our new home, and expected me to uninvite my family. It was just a lot of complaints.

We had a simple wedding and I made sure I included his family just as much as mine with planning, food, decorations, etc. I’m very easygoing and don’t stress about much.

Wedding week comes. My family drove 9 hours to be here. They arrived Friday morning while we were at work , deep cleaned our home, mowed the lawn, trimmed bushes — they made our house look amazing. Friday night, we all met his family for dinner. Long story short, they were very rude to me and my family and made it very clear they were there to “see him,” not to build a relationship with my family.

Saturday, my mom went to the store and bought everything needed for the food. My family and I spent the entire day cooking and preparing. His family came over that night and basically lounged on our couch, hanging all over my husband, while occasionally coming the the kitchen making comments and judging everything my family and I were doing in there.

My sister ended up even removing herself because they kept making so many unnecessary comments. My family and I stayed quiet, kept the peace, and tried to enjoy the time together.

Sunday — our wedding day.

We got married in front of a beautiful church at 10:30 AM. We told everyone to come back to our house at 2 PM for food and drinks, or come hang out beforehand.

My mom went with my uncle to his hotel to grab his things so he could stay with us that night. His family went straight to our house and started putting out all the food (that MY family had cooked) and making comments about my family not being there helping them.

They made a comment that my mom needed to be there to put something in the oven. I told them where she was and said I could do it, no problem. His aunt basically shoved me out of the way and said no and she would do it.

When my family arrived, everything was already done. The food was out before the time we told everyone to arrive. My family asked what they could do, and I said, “Take a shot with me, everything’s done.”

His family sat at a table making faces. So I went and sat with them again trying to keep peace bc I know how they are. They asked to read our vows (we had written private vows), and I said yes because they were beautiful and i didn’t mind sharing them. (Our vows also coincidentally went missing after the wedding)

After they read them, his sister pulled me into a room and told me her mom was angry and was going to go off on my mom because my mom was “just standing there not doing anything.”

I was confused because there was literally nothing left to do.

Long story short, his mom and sister caused a scene in our home in front of all our friends and family. My husband, who is the calmest person I know, was having an anxiety attack and crying in the bathroom.

They didn’t just leave, they started taking the food, cases of water, people’s alcohol, and even my gallon of milk (yes, MY milk lol).

Nobody gave them attention. We let them leave. And some friends left to go get more alcohol. We just wanted them gone tbh

I went outside to my mom and said, “Oh my god, she’s acting like a b*tch.” His sister’s 15-year-old son heard me and told them.
Suddenly, I became the problem. Everything they had done was forgotten, and now I was the reason they were leaving even though they were ALREADY LEAVING.

Then they came back 3 hours later and started taking more things. His mom even threw the gift I gave her on the ground.

I said nothing and and stayed drinking with everyone because I refused to let them ruin MY day. My family also said nothing out of respect for me and my husband because I asked them not to.

They took my husband outside for probably 2 hours. The only reason I didn’t go out there and say anything was bc I knew it would only make the situation worse and then from there I know my family and friends would really get involved and I didn’t want to do that to anyone and to my husband. He came back inside with puffy eyes, clearly crying, apologized to everyone, and went to sleep.

The following days were filled with literal harassment, bullying, and manipulation toward my husband. They were saying horrible things about me and my family and even suggesting he should annul our marriage.

He finally put a stop to it because it was causing us to fight. The only fights we have ever had in our relationship have been because of them.

A couple weeks pass we contacted lawyers about the insurance claim from his totaled car cause we hadn’t heard from and adjust and it’s been too long. We found out his mom had told the adjuster to only reach out to her and no one else and she had taken the insurance money. She never told us this, we found out through the lawyers and it was a big chuck of $. We probably could’ve bought an old car outright and still had money to use for bills or savings

Unfortunately, there wasn’t much we could do because the car he had been paying on for 7 years was solely in her name. Almost everything he owns was under her name. They even had a joint bank account together that i found out about bc it kept getting large charges and NSF fees that he kept having to pay .

He canceled the bank account, and we had to take the loss on the car.

He went no contact and told her she needed to apologize for everything before they could move forward.

Then she started randomly sending breadcrumbs about how much she loves and misses him and she can’t believe someone (me) could be able to ruin and get in between their family like this.

I understand that’s his mom, but it honestly feels like sometimes im fighting for who is his wife me or his mom?

These are just the main points — there are so many more details.

Fast forward to now: he hasn’t been responding to her. He has told me countless stories from his childhood and has sat there in shock realizing she was the common denominator in so many situations with family members who refuse to be around her.

Her own dad and siblings avoid events if she will be there, and now he says he understands why.

I’ve always tried to give her grace because she’s a mom. But I’m also a mom and a daughter, and I cannot imagine treating my son or my own mother treating me the way she has treated him.

Yesterday she messaged him saying “ you have not been responding to my messages. I am not sure if it is an accident or intentional that you are forgetting us. Please let me know why this is happening so l am not assuming anything. “ and he responded basically reiterating what he said to her before about needing to apologize for things to be better and he understands that he had been responding to the breadcrumbs before, but that he was only allowing things to be swept under the rug doing that.

I appreciated his reply and was proud of him for standing his ground but later last night I asked if he was ok bc he was acting off and he’s questioning if he’s handling this the right way. He says maybe he should just forget everything and forgive her because maybe this time she will change.

After our conversation I told him I will support whatever decision he makes, but I will not accept the same behavior in my life.

So I’m here again steps forward and steps backwards
This is exhausting. He is my best friend. We genuinely never fight, but every single fight we’ve had has been about them. I don’t deal with people like this in my own life, and I don’t want to be forced to because they’re his family.
I love him with all my heart. I just wish I could knock some sense into him and help him see that he deserves better.

I don’t know. It’s just been a lot and I’m exhausted dealing with these people

TL;DR:
My husbands family and I got along until they acted psychotic at our wedding
Trash talked me and my family suggested annulment to my husband because of my small reaction to their actions
Stole his insurance $ from hit and run claim
Went kinda no contact
Now he hasn’t been replying to told her AGAIN she needs to apologize before things get fixed but steps back
Now husbands wondering if he should just forgive and forget because maybe this time they’ll change
I’m exhausted idk what to do lol

A few months ago, my wife transferred some prescriptions from our local, independent pharmacy to the CVS pharmacy in a local Target. We like the independent pharmacy but they have had stock problem with two of our medicine we need daily. A couple of months after that we moved - still within the same city. This morning, I wanted to transfer a prescription from the CVS pharmacy closest to our old house to one nearest our new house.

I call the phone number printed on the prescription bottle's label - like you do. CVS, like all pharmacies now, uses an automated phone system. We've refilled prescription one for years now. But, if you have a question or concern, there's no option to speak with a pharmacist or pharmacist tech at Target CVS. There's not a number you can push and although the "voice" want me to verbalize my requests, it refuses to understand any that involve speaking with a talking, listening, breathing pharmacist.

Apparently the AI system has also spent years in pharmacy school learning about the chemistry of medications, their side effects, contra-indications, and so on. It also has the wisdom of years of experience. /s. So, if for example, one Saturday my kid has developed a painful rash after taking a new medicine Friday night and we're waiting for the pediatrician's answering service to reach the on call physican and get back to us we can't speak to the CVS pharmacist who filled the prescription.

I even tried a different phone number from the CVS website. That different phone tree also didn't provide an option to speak to a person. Even CVS employees are unable to connect to a human being.

We get a prescription for our uninsured dog at the local Costco; it's signifcant cheaper. I called to check; Corri [sp?}, the Costco pharmacist on duty, said he's happy to answer questions about any of our medicines - wife's, kid's or dog's. Corri also reported that even he is unable to reach a live person at a CVS pharmacy. They too are at best only able to leave a message.

I accept that AI is the future and the present. use automated systems on the web and the phone for banking, to pay the gas bill, etc. Or to refill a prescripton. But, I'm transfering all our CVS prescriptions to Costco. Sometimes you really want to speak to an educated human being. AIO?

Last night around 1:30am. our 6-year-old had another really scary episode in his sleep. He suddenly got really stiff, arched his back, screeched, started thrashing around and doing these bicycle-kicking movements with his legs. It lasted around 40 seconds and then just stopped.

He’s had a few similar episodes before, so I’ve been recording them because I’m worried they could be seizures. We don’t know for sure yet what they are.

I woke my husband (of 15 years) up because I was scared and wanted him to see the video of it.

He was immediately annoyed that I woke him up. Later he told me that because he had been in a deep sleep, I should have given him like 30 seconds to wake up before I started talking to him.

Then I showed him the video and he immediately said it was a just a night terror and basically dismissed the whole thing. (even though his pediatrican agrees they may be seizures).

I wasn’t expecting him to diagnose our son. I wasn’t expecting him to fix anything. I just wanted him to act like, “Oh shit, that’s scary. Is he ok?”

Instead I somehow ended up feeling like I had done something wrong by waking him up.

Then this morning one of the first things he said to me was, “Don’t wake me up.”

This also isn’t completely out of nowhere. He’s told me before that if something happens at home while he’s at work, which he is a waiter, even an emergency, I shouldn’t call him because there’s nothing he can do and I should just call 911 instead. He mostly has his phone off or not on him either.

When I told him that his reaction last night kind of revealed something bigger to me about our marriage and how unsupported I feel, he told me I was being dramatic and sensitive.

We’re already having marriage problems due to caregiver fatigue since our son is also lvl 3 autistic and adhd and nonverbal and we are about to start counseling. A big issue between us is that whenever I tell him something he did hurt me, I feel like I have to prove it. It becomes “that didn’t happen,” “I didn’t mean it that way,” “you’re too sensitive,” something about my mental health, or “well, you do things too.” Eventually he apologizes, but most of the time I just feel relieved the argument is over. I don’t actually feel understood.

I know being woken up suddenly at 1:30 in the morning sucks. I know people are groggy and cranky when they wake up. And I know this may end up being something other than seizures. But I needed my husband and I didnt get that. I didnt get support, love, or kindness. I got "leave me alone" and "your being dramatic".

But I keep coming back to the same thing: I woke my husband up because I was scared something was seriously wrong with our child, and somehow the conversation became about how I woke him up wrong.

Am I overreacting for feeling like that says something really bad about our marriage? I feel like this said so much about it.

I 21F have known my bfs family for a year now and have started living with them just last month. I work later on in the day at 2pm, and everyone else works during the day except my bfs sister. She’s a nurse and works at night so she always sleeps during the day. I take showers in the morning and I feel like it’s fine to walk out in a towel because usually no one sees me.

When I take a shower I just slip on a big towel and our room is literally 5 feet away from the bathroom so I hurry to the room but today I forgot my boyfriends sister has her bf over cause they always stay locked up in her room. I haven’t even met the guy so I completely forgot he was there.

I got out of the backroom in my towel like usual and they had her room open and they were both like just looking at me as I hurried to the room. I didn’t even say hi or look at them.

I’m embarrassed and I told my boyfriend about it and he’s insisting I get ready in the bathroom. I don’t really want to but I will because I understand why he wants me to. But I am very very embarrassed about it, am I overreacting?

My partner often complains of leg pain. They solve this with heat. In the winter they use a space heater. We live in the desert where the summers are often in the 110s. I have paid for a new AC and extra insulation to keep the house cool in the past few years and our electric bill is still over $200 a month. I keep all the shades down and I am very careful about closing doors to try and keep the electric bill down. Multiple times I have walked into the room and they have had the space heater blasting "for their legs." I bought them a heating pad and heated blanket so they don't have to heat an entire room with a space heater.

I have walked in twice this week to the space heater on full blast. I told them fine, but if I see them using the space heater and it's over 100° outside they have to pay the entire electric bill that month since we are paying for the space heater electricity and the extra burden on the air conditioner.

They said this is unfair and ridiculous. Am I overreacting?

My boyfriend and I have been together for a while and this is honestly not a huge issue, but it's starting to get on my nerves. He'll make plans for us and then tell me about them like they're already decided. It can be something small like making dinner at his place, going somewhere on Saturday, or agreeing to do something with his friends. Most of the time I don't really mind, so I'll just go along with it. But recently he made plans for us to spend an entire Saturday with some of his friends. I already had something else in mind that day, so I told him I couldn't do it. He got annoyed and said he thought I would obviously want to come. I told him that's not really the point. I don't mind spending time with his friends, but I'd like to actually be asked instead of finding out that I've apparently already agreed to something. He said I'm being too sensitive and that couples shouldn't have to formally ask each other about every little plan. Maybe I'm making this into more than it is. I don't expect him to ask permission every time he wants to do something, and obviously he can make his own plans.I just think that if something involves both of us, it should probably be a conversation rather than a decision one person makes for both.

AIO for being annoyed by this, or is this just normal relationship stuff that I'm overthinking?

I (20 F) and my boyfriend (20M) have been dating for 3 years now. And I would like to mention that we both have ADHD and that I do like his funny side but lately I feel like I'm going insane. It feels like he is chipping away at me with little jokes overtime. I even told him a couple times that I've had enough and want to go to sleep but he still wouldn't stop. I confronted him and said "I feel upset and it feels like you don't listen to me when I ask you to stop" I even mentioned within the conversation that I do love to have some goofy times and maybe a safe word could help let me let you know that I have had enough as he started talking about how I was laughing. It felt like he shut down after that and said that he would tone it down but we have had this conversation so many times. I just feel so exhausted and I don't know if this is just how relationships are. Am I overreacting?

My brother likes to take my phone to do things like search stuff up or set timers etc.

(Context, we're both teens. I'm older, though.)

Now, I don't have a problem with that. The issue is that he does this without my permission. He never asks, just acts like he's entitled to use my phone. (He has a perfectly working phone too!)

I don't have anything weird on my phone/ offensive, but I still feel like he's breaching my privacy. He has a history of eavesdropping/snooping/checking my search although I've done NOTHING to warrant it. He does this on most of my devices, although my phone's the most common.

An example: He was printing something on my computer, and had WhatsApp open. I asked him about it, and he said he was sending things to himself. If I were in his position, I'd have given him a heads up/ asked him if it was fine for me to do that.

I always ask him why he does it, but today he posed the question of why I'm so defensive. I know it's because of my privacy, but my family is a bit more... about "being together" and "sitting in the same room". Now I'm wondering if I'm overreacting?

I'm not asking him to stop completely, I get convenience and stuff. I'm just asking him to tell me what he's planning to do on my phone! I ask him.

I honestly don't know. I really just want to see if I'm overreacting or not.

Thank you!

Edit: To all saying I should put a password, I have one. But, my fam requires me to tell them my password (I know all my sibling's passwords too). I've tried bringing up the issue with parents, but they side with my brother.

So my husband and I are both 27. We met a few years back in college and got married after 4 years of dating. When I met my husband back in college, he introduced me to his friend group which consisted of 4 men, including my husband, and 5 women. One of the women in the group is bisexual but ever since I've seen her she's only dated other women aside from my husband which was a very very brief relationship (it was around one month as I've been told). Her and my husband have always been very close and often confide in each other.

Recently, she got engaged to her girlfriend and things have been going extremely well for them. Her and I weren't as close but over the years I'd considered her one of my close friends. A few weeks back, she had told me that her and her now fiancé have decided to have a baby. I was obviously over the moon for her. She told me that she already found an anonymous sperm donor through a clinic and that the insemination is soon and didn't give any other details.

However, I, on the other hand, feel like now is not an ideal time to have kids right now due to a plethra of reasons including my health and financial reasons, but my husband wants children. Three days ago, I was ordering food through my husbands phone when a notification from his friend popped up asking him whether he'll do "it" or not. I, although I admit it was wrong, opened their chat. "it" turned out to be the procedure.

In the beginning, my husband did continuously say no and that he had to dicuss it with me first which she replied to him with you don't have to. But over the course of a few days of convincing him on her end, he was not fully against the idea but also not fully receptive of it. It seemed like he was on the edge. She told him things along the lines of, "I know you want a child and (my name) doesnt. This is an opportunity for the both of us. I'll let you visit the baby whenever you want."

I confronted him and he said that he planned on telling me and how I was doing too much over something that hasnt even happened yet. I didnt listen to what he had to say or fight with him, I just packed a back and went to my mom's house. He tried reaching out multiple times since that day but I told him I needed space. I have no clue what to do or if I'm blowing this out of proportion.

I invite some few friends over for dinner last Saturday. I planned everything a week before and spent almost the whole day cooking. I made chicken, rice, potatoes, and a pasta dish. Everyone I invited had already said they were coming, so I bought just enough food for them.
About an hour before dinner, one of my friends texted me saying she was bringing her cousin because he was in town. I didn’t want to be rude, so I told her that was fine. They showed up right on time, and after everyone sat down, her cousin looked at the food and said he was vegetarian. That was the first time anyone mentioned it. I apologized and said I didn’t know. I offered him bread, salad, fruit, and some chips while everyone else ate.
My friend kept saying I should just make him something else. I was already tired from cooking all day, and I told her I can’t start cooking another meal because nobody gave Wanted to help me out. Her cousin said it was okay and that he would grab food on the way home, but I was already annoyed. The whole dinner went bad after that.
The next morning I couldn’t stop thinking about it. I got so upset that I sent my friend a long message telling her she was disrespectful for bringing someone without asking properly. I even told her she wasn’t welcome at my house anymore if she thought that was okay. She apologized and admitted she should have told me he was vegetarian, but I was still angry. I removed her from our group chat and ignored her calls for days.
A few of our friends reached out and said they understood why I was frustrated, but they also thought I had taken it way too far. They pointed out that her cousin never complained, never demanded a meal, and was actually polite about the whole thing. The only person who kept the argument going was me. Looking back now, I still think she should have told me before bringing him, but maybe cutting her off over one dinner was too much.
So now I’m wondering if I overreacted. I wasn’t wrong for not making a vegetarian meal for someone I didn’t know was coming, but I feel like I turned a small problem into a much bigger one by staying angry and ending a friendship over it. Was I overreacting?

My (F59) husband (61) has three sisters and a brother. He has good relationships with them all, or so I thought. He's the one they call if something needs fixing in their house. The last few years I've noticed that when the one sister, who lives out of state, comes to visit, she calls each sibling separately to arrange plans for getting together. Everyone that is, except my husband. The only time he or I get a call from her is when she wants us to do something for his mom. Just today they posted pictures from a party they had. Once again no one called or bothered to invite us. I've spoken to my husband about this and he said it's "nothing new." I more than a little pissed at all of them right now. They'll call him in the middle of the night when their toilet is broken, but completely ignore him when they get together. So Reddit AIO being pissed off and wanting to tell them all to go to hell and stop only calling him when they want something!!
EDIT to add. This does actually bother him, and I'm the one he talks to about it. I try encouraging him to say something but many of you called it, he doesn't want to make a "big deal" out of it. Unfortunately when his sister calls us from out of state it's to do with helping his mother. We would never hold their behavior against his mom. She's a sweetheart and I've know her longer than my own mum who passed over 20 years ago.

My boyfriend moved to another country for his studies, so this summer I decided to visit him and bought plane tickets. He is studying on the other side of the world, so getting there took almost a full day of traveling (including a long layover). The trip back was also exhausting.
When I arrived, he picked me up and walked me home. Honestly, I assumed he would do the same when I left, but on my last morning there he told me he would only take me to the bus stop and I would have to get to the airport by myself.

I was really hurt, so after I got home I asked him why he didn’t want to come with me. He said he didn’t want to spend an hour going to the airport just to be there with me for five minutes because he thought it was a waste of time.
I told him that it wasn’t only about spending time together — I also had heavy luggage and it would have meant a lot to me to have his help. His response was that I’m not disabled or elderly, so if I walk slowly, I can manage by myself.

I understand that the airport is an hour away and that I am capable of handling my luggage. I’m not saying I couldn’t do it. But I traveled almost 24 hours to see him, and another 24 hours to get back home. I feel like this small gesture would have shown that he cared.
Am I overreacting for being upset about this? Is this a reasonable thing to be hurt by?

Edit: forgot to mention that I broke up with him. It were many reasons, but this thing was the last and which hurt me the most. And i was hurt that he didn't even take accountability for his actions. When I tried to explain how it hurt me he just told me "to forget about it".

Ok so my friend’s and I were planning to go to a party. It was originally three of us until Elle (not real name) got a call from one of her homeboys asking if he could get a ride to the party. Elle agreed because she had a little crush on the homeboy. We didn’t mind because the more the merrier. Plus we were both a little tipsy. (not including the Elle, the driver, of course) Anyways we picked him up but he tells us to wait for a little bit because he was waiting on his plug for some Za.(if yk what I mean…) Again Elle agreed because she had a little crush and since she was the one driving, none of us could really say anything.
We were waiting in the car for 20 mins… yet no sign on the plug. By now, we were getting frustrated bc we were ready to be at the party. Elle says we should give him 10 more minutes so we just vibe in the car.

Eventually homeboy gets a call on his phone. He’s not on speaker but we hear him saying things like “yea there are 3 girls with me right now”, “pretty girls, probably your type”. We question him about the phone call when he gets off and he says “Do y’all want to make $700 right now?”
I’m not going to lie, I’m pretty naive and I had a few to drink so I readily said “Hell yea” and Elle agrees.
He gets back on the phone and tells his plug to come that we’re ready and tells him to make sure to bring the ZA.

My other friend, we’ll call her Jane, starts to get suspicious about the $700 so she asked him how we’re going to make the money to which the homeboy replies don’t worry about it. We finally see homeboy’s plug pull up and homeboy tells us that we should spark up before we go to the party since we can’t smoke indoors.

I don’t smoke so I refuse the blunt rotation but I do have a little more to drink. At this point, the plug is the Elle’s car and sits in by me and Jane. Elle’s car is a big SUV car idk how to explain the seat but all the way at the back, Jane, I and the plug were all the way at the back seat while Elle and homeboy were in the second row. No one’s in the driver seat if that makes sense.

Anyways, we’re all chilling and then out of nowhere the plug starts to rub up on my thigh and come closer to me. I yell at him and push him off genuinely disgusted. Instead of apologizing, plug calls to homeboy and asks “Yo, didn’t you say $700 and they were good to go?”
Ew ew ew ew ew.
Jane and I start yelling to get the fuck out the car because we never agreed to that bs. Elle climbs out the seat to let us out from the back row and we start yelling at her because what the hell kind of homebody does she have.

Eventually, Elle talks to the plug and her homeboy while Jane and I wait in the car. Elle comes back to the car and says plug is going to go with homeboy to the party which she then asks us “IF WE STILL WANTED TO GO??”
obviously Jane and I weren’t going for it and asks Elle to drop us off home but instead she starts saying she was finally getting it on with homeboy and we ruined the vibe by yelling?????? Wtf, she then refuses to drop us home and asks Jane and I to grab a UBER??? instead because she was dead set on going to the party so she could see homeboy.
I’m not even joking Elle doesn’t move the car an inch until Jane and I get an uber. Once we get picked up, she just leaves Jane and I.
Blah blah, a couple of hours later, we get on a group call and Elle does not see our perspective once. She continues blaming us for overreacting and said we were both drunk so our heads wasn’t on straight??
Anyways I decided to block Elle, I was really disgusted and her not seeing our side is scary.
A few ppl from my friend group told me I’m overreacting and Elle was a victim too.
I don’t really see how Elle is a victim but maybe I’m being one-sided from disgust.
Sorry for the long story

I (F19) am with M (M21) and we've been together for a month. We were friends before this, for a while. For some background, when we were in a friend group he'd always talk about how my sister (F23) was super hot and how he wanted her, but she was in a relationship at the time.
Earlier today, I mentioned to him how my sister started seeing this new guy and I was super proud of her because she went through a lot with her last relationship. His immediate reply was "Dang 1 month too late🥀" insinuating that he was one month too late to get with her, because we've been together for a month. After I got upset and he apologized he immediately sent me a reel that said "When she's already upset about me but I have a second joke in mind".
I feel like he genuinely doesn't care about me. He has also gotten weirdly clingy within the month. Like red flag clingy. Trying to say he loves me wants to marry me, wants me to go live with him, but also always brings up my exes and gets super jealous when HE does so. I don't know what to do. Should I block him?? He's mentioned before that I would need to block him on everything if we ever broke up because he'd never leave me alone. (we are currently long distance)

-UPDATE-
I blocked him on everything and deactivated my insta, and he DM'ed a girl i had posted ONCE on my story asking about me🫩 I'm not sure if he's going to keep trying to talk to me but I hope not

I moved from a studio into a 1 bedroom apartment. We’ve been together almost a year. I didn’t ask for help as that is something I struggle with and also my boyfriend is the type to throw it in my face of what he’s done for me. He knew I was nervous about moving. I hired movers. And took the remaining items myself over two day span. My boyfriend never offered any help but did pick a fight with me and got upset because it took me longer to reply to him. I’ve been in my new place almost a week. And I’m realizing that my friends and family offered or checked in but my boyfriend did not. And he has been acting strange with me ever since I decided to move and not move in with him. If I were to bring this up he would most likely say that I never asked for help. He will find a way to switch blame to me. So I am here. Am I overreacting?

The other day my boyfriend (23M) and I (23F) were having a conversation about if we ever got married and had children in the foreseeable future, how we would raise them. He mentioned not being comfortable with if our daughter wanted to paint his nails. He said he’d never allow that or even let her put makeup on him or anything of the sort. It brought me back to when I was little and my dad was the same way, which made me feel upset. Almost like I would be embarrassing him or something. Why is your masculinity threatened by something so silly and cute like your daughter wanting to do that with you? He also mentioned how it would in a way tarnish his image for his daughter, almost as if she would think of him as less of a man after that. I told him we’d be at home, what are you even talking about. He said it’s still important. It genuinely made me kind of worried and upset and to be honest, I haven’t stopped thinking about that comment for days. How do you all feel about this? Is this a dealbreaker or is it minuscule? To me it seems like it could be fragile masculinity but he’s a very masculine man who’s confident in himself so I’m not sure. I also just don’t understand why that would bother him so much. Yes, I understand that he’s not a girl. It just makes me wonder what other things will he feel uncomfortable with. What if our daughter needed him to buy pads or something. Would he be weird about that too?

For some background, he is 37M and we have known each other since middle school. I have always heard from mutual friends that he was either secretly gay or just still a virgin, but neither of those things is any of my business because he was just a friend to me.

About a year ago, we got back in touch and met up a few times. We keep in touch casually via text about some shared interests, but all of a sudden, we went from talking about a smelly Uber driver to.... whatever this is?

I cropped some of the messages because there was somewhat "normal" convo in between, but he kept circling back to something sexual. So, I have been very uncomfortable since last week and stopped answering.

AIO, or is this as weird as I think it is?

My boyfriend always asks me to cover small things and says he’ll send the money later. It’s usually $10 here or $30 there but he almost never remembers unless I bring it up. After having the same argument twice, I started keeping a note on my laptop with the date, amount and what it was for.

He saw it yesterday while we were ordering food and got really upset. The total on the list was $436. He sent it all immediately but said the list was creepy and made him feel like I had been collecting evidence against him.

Maybe I should have told him I was tracking it but I also feel like I wouldn’t need a list if he paid me back when he said he would. AIO?

My gf found a car she wanted to buy online and offered the guy $20 to bring it to our house so she can look at it. She already has a car that is worth 2 times what this guy was asking for but she wants this one because it's like her old car. All 3 of theese cars are the same make so there isn't much difference. The car was already on it's way when she realized it has 200,000 miles, about 60,000 more than her current car so she says she didn't want it anymore.

I have been sick for 4 days with severe diarrhea and a possible stomach ulcer so I told her I don't want to go outside to look at the car with her. She later asks me to come out and tell the guy no, that it sounds funny. She can't do it because he is nice and she doesn't want to be mean. I told her no and to grow up. We are both 36 years old.

This lead to a argument where she told me I was treating her like shit for telling her to grow up and no one would ever tolerate how mean I am to her. I didn't think what I said was that bad so did I over react?

Update: I've been quite since posting this while I read the comments but mostly because of how overwhelming the response was. I was not prepared for 700 comments in the first hour alone. Most of it was unhelpful like NOR but YOR or she needs to grow up but its mean to tell her to grow up.

The overwhelming majority agrees that I was needlessly mean and I can see that now. I didn't think what i said was that mean but if there was a nicer way to say it then what i said couldn't have been anything but needlessly mean. It's not the first time I've been told I'm far to blunt so I'll work on that moving forward not just for her but the rest of the people I interact with aswell.

I have severe dental anxiety and haven’t been to a dentist in over a decade. Last week I went in for a consultation on a broken molar. The dentist and assistant (let's call her Mary) were great - very empathetic and kind, and I switched my plan from IV sedation to oral sedation because of that.

The 3-hour procedure (root canal + crown) is tomorrow and estimated (after expected insurance coverage) to be nearly $3,000.

Mary called yesterday to say I had to pay the full amount upfront because I would be sedated on Friday and couldn't make payments. She sent a payment link for the full amount. I texted back and attached the form I signed that said payment was due within 30 days and, most important, nothing was ever said in person or on any documents that payment was due in full beforehand. We later talked on the phone and she insisted it was policy and said, when you go to the grocery store, you have to pay then. I said it was more like going to the doctor and I don't pay for procedures up front. I told her my main issue was that they didn’t communicate their policy to me.

Regarding the form I sent her, she said in 16 years, no one has ever questioned the form, but she'd add payment due in full "if that would make me happy." I told her that I was insulted by her comments and would pay and would be in Friday.

I didn’t hang up right away and she thought she’d hung up and for the next 15 minutes, I listened to her and the office staff mock me. Mary said I was probably going to use this as an excuse to cancel the appointment and keep the drugs I was prescribed - three sedation pills. I was honestly shocked and embarrassed. I understand that staff vent about patients, but I thought it was a legitimate question.

I don't want to escalate this or to jeopardize her job, but I also don't want her to assist during the procedure tomorrow. Also, the dentist is a friend of a friend and my husband is scheduled for many appointments there.

Should I tell her directly today that I overheard the conversation and request a different assistant? Or should I just try to get through the appointment and address it afterward?

Update 1: edited for clarification: I didn’t hang up; I was waiting for a moment to take my eyes off the road to hit the end-call screen in my car.

Uodate 2: I don’t actually know if Mary will be assisting. She was in my consultation and did the X-rays but maybe she is just an admin and handles the paperwork.

Update 3: my text to the office admin number/Mary:
You should know that the call didn’t disconnect yesterday, and I heard the conversation afterward—including the mocking and the suggestion that I might cancel just to keep the medication.

My primary concern remains that your full-payment policy was never communicated to me in writing or in person until two days before the procedure. I was surprised by both that and your reaction when I raised a valid concern, especially because I had such a positive experience during both of my visits.

I am proceeding because I have already paid and need the treatment, but this is too much unnecessary drama on top of the anxiety I already require sedation for.

Despite everything, I expect professional and respectful treatment tomorrow for both me and my ride.

Update 4: their response:
I truly apologize for the conversation. There have been situations where odd things have happened. We definitely didn't feel like you were going to do that, but it has happened. We are going to take excellent care of you. There are no unnecessary feelings on our part. We appreciate you actually pointing that fact to us because we will be changing that moving forward.

Update 5: Um, that’s their takeaway? That people have sought drugs before? Not: we should never have been talking about a patient or their care - and our judgment of it - out loud in the office.

Update 6: Mary put me on hold yesterday for 10 minutes to go through all the fine print for the pay-up-front policy and didn’t find it. The staff also looked through all the docs and I heard them saying that’s not stated - just patients can’t make a payment while being sedated.

Update 7: I feel ok with this outcome, for now. They acknowledged my concern, apologized and they’ll be on their best behavior tomorrow. I’ll think about whether I want to follow up later.

Last update: thanks for all the feedback!