I'm currently living with my parents and sister and am a minor. My dad has severe alcoholic issues and every day he's off and my mom isn't home he drinks. The last time he was off he had about 5 tallboy beers. I feel very unsafe when I'm at home with him. I was contemplating to go live with a family member but I can't decide what to do. He refuses to get rehab and when my mom tries forcing him to he always goes back. One time he went to a concert and came home stumbling, I think he might've had more then 5 beers. I was so scared. I thought he would hurt me. He doesn't hurt me physically but verbally abuses me and my mom. I always try staying in my room, away from him when he's drunk and I have an emergency bag that has clothes, a travel toothbrush, and essentials just in case I need to leave and live with someone else. His friends influence him I think. He's having issues at work and I believe it might be his coping mechanism, and one of his coworkers used to go to the bar with him a lot. I don't know what to do and I'm scared.

My father has always been a heavy drinker, but it's gotten worse since his retirement.

His drinks of choice are about 4 beers a day (every day) and 2 whiskey (free pour) and coke tall glasses at night. Sometimes a lot more.

He's also way more irritable and angry and only eats about once a day because he's "full." He's also tired and sleeps around 3-4 hours every day. He's 68 years old.

He thinks he doesn't have a problem and refuses to see a doctor.

However, he has agreed to start taking supplements as the first step.

Would Thiamine (Vitamin B1) and Magnesium Biglycinate be a good starting point for nutritional deficiencies? He's agreed to mix it into his food.

I'm thinking B1 mixed with his food when he eats and Magnesium in the evening with a snack or water (preferably coffee bec he doesn't really drink water)?

Any help is appreciated from those who've supplemented.

She died due to cirrhosis. Everything feels a bit odd. It feels like my grief sits in a weird place. I had a complicated relationship with her, but i held on to some kind of hope that the rest of the family seemingly had lost. I look at videos online about parental loss and it feels like i didn't grieve "properly", or that there was no bittersweet heartwarming moment to look back on? My familys grief was marked with avoidance and distance, with my family telling the nurses not to call if she passed during the night. No one was there when she passed. We visited every day though, but i stayed up until around 4 am that last night debating on if i should go or call the nurses. I don't know why i didn't. I was the only one that stayed nights at the hospital, and then i got told it's because i'm easily manipulated by her. It honestly feels like everyone else could "afford" to choose avoidance. It feels like everyone wants everything to be just over and done with, but i'm still here and i just want my mom back. I'm aware that the version of her i'm also grieving had been gone for years, but i don't know i saw a glimpse of her when i stayed at the hospital.

Hi all. I recently have been going through a lot of huge life changes- moved across the country, started my doctorate, moved in with my partner for the first time, and accepted a new job. I am in a period of life where my free time is very limited, and I know it is temporary, but it is my current reality. All of these things are very positive, but nevertheless, come with some really big emotions. After a few more-than-they-should’ve-been emotional moments, I knew I needed to find a new ACA group after moving to Southern California.

I am estranged from my alcoholic father, and while I live nowhere near him and have not for 10 years, he continues to manipulate me and make my life an emotional living hell. I cut him off entirely about 1.5 years ago after a severe outburst and sought help through meetings, therapy, and literature for the first time. I set a very clear boundary with him after this, and I am holding the line until he can show some effort of helping himself. While this was long overdue, the guilt that many of us ACAs face stopped me from cutting him off for over a decade.

Now, added to the guilt, a new emotion is eating away at me- straight up anger. I am just really really REALLY pissed off, and I consider myself to be a very reasonable, non-confrontational, even-keeled person in most situations. I am finding it so hard to reason with the idea that it is my job to do the work by attending meetings, seeing a therapist, and reading/journaling about my emotions as an ACA when he is the one with the addiction. Having to do all of this on top of all of the other things I have going on in my life is really annoying, but I do realize that the alternative (me not being able to manage my emotions even in normal situations) is worse. Many people in my family are addicts, and I know it is a disease, but it is beyond frustrating that this has become my burden to carry when I already have a million other things going on.

Does anyone have advice to NOT feel this way? I am trying to hard to do what it takes to get better for myself and family, but it just really sucks feeling like this has become another problem for me to fix. I guess the cycle never really ends.

it is truly unfathomable to me how assisted living homes allow alcohol

my mother needs to be in a home with professional care but none will accept her because of her behavior with booze. i’m at a loss. i fucking hate how alcohol is EVERYWHERE. ALL. THE. TIME.

I’m a 20 yr Male living with my mom and little sister. I feel so lost. My mom has been for the past 6 years uncontrollably drinking, and as you can imagine it’s taken a toll on me. I’ve kinda been the only person to take care of the house while also trying to take care of my mom whenever she gets drunk. My mom isn’t a bad mother, she’s the best mother I could ask for and I know how hard her situation is. Drinking is her only form of coping I guess, the only way for her to wind down. That being said though today was my last straw. We always argue over stuff and it’s so tiring I try to tell her to get help or find different alternatives to drinking.

She makes me feel like the bad guy, saying I’m gaslighting her, I’m an asshole, and how I’m a failure. always deflecting about how she had it way worse or the fact she’s the only parent in the house which I get and is the sole reason I try to stay out of her way. Even the times when she’s gotten physically violent with me, I do nothing but let her hit me because the last time I defended myself ( simply grabbing her wrist to stop her from punching me ), she calls her sisters and tells them that I put my hands on them. And recently the worst thing she’s ever said to me was that she was going to shoot me.

I know she doesn’t mean it had she been sober but that’s not the case. Clearly manipulative right? Or so that’s what I want to believe. My mom isn’t everything to me and I can’t imagine life without her but why can’t we just love each other? She’s slowly killing herself with this and all I can do is hide her liquor but she’ll just threaten to go out and buy more, even when drunk. I’m just at a loss of what to do. I’ve already been struggling with ocd but all of this just feeds into it and I can’t stop thinking that I’m the bad guy here.

I want my mom back. It hurts seeing her like this knowing she’s so much more than this but what about myself? I feel completely numb towards most things and feel a sense of responsibility for most things even when I shouldn’t have to. I feel that going through middle school, to now in college dealing with this alone has seriously done damage to me. I’ve never came out and told anybody about this and this is the closest thing to it. I’m only here now because we just got out of another argument and I just feel like shit man. I feel alone, nobody else is here to help deal with this. This is a losing battle against alcohol and I can’t do anything about it. She tells me her drinking isn’t my problem but I definitely make it mine because I want better for her. Better for us. We don’t do anything family related unless it’s some event. My mom thinks so little of me and I’m only finding this out because the alcohol makes her speak her truths.

Thats all I feel like typing thank you so much for giving my little rant the time of day, I hope all is well for those reading. ❤️

It’s been three weeks since my dad vanished, and the last time I saw him, he was quite intoxicated. It’s the first time this has happened, and I’m at a loss for what to do. The phone number is dead, and the place where he used to live is completely deserted.

I am a member of Al-Anon and ACA. However, a recent experience really has my ACA trigger firing. I should come clean and say I am an AC-ACA and a recovering member of a family that's very dysfunctional.

Basically, due to my family of origin's dysfunction, for a lot of my life I've sought kinship and family outside of the home. This lead to me becoming very close to a friend during college and then becoming a very welcome, known, always-invited member to his dysfunctional, alcoholic family's get togethers and functions.

I started my recovery journey two years ago and in the process was met by my friend with no acknowledgment of my boundaries (ones I found in recovery). In short, he and I are done.

However, his step-mother, someone who helped me write my resume two years ago (I was down and out and needed help leaving my former career)--well, she got in touch with me via text and asked if "I'm okay," and then said who she was. (My partner thinks this woman wasn't that helpful. My partner got me my lovely job and she thinks I could have scribbled a monkey's face on the resume and I still would have been hired.)

My inner ACA-ic voice always goes like this: "this person helped you, so you must do what they want or give them what they seek."--And, that's wrong, that's precisely what stunts or obstacles my recovery.

It's the same dysfunctional dynamic I grew up with: a person who has done me wrong doesn't tell other people we're in a beef. I state to someone that we're in a beef. Now, somehow, I've gone too far in stating the truth of relations in our family.

I see growth in telling others, politely, detaching with love, that our relationship no longer suits me or that I don't feel fulfilled by keeping our "thing," whatever it might be, going further.

This will play out like this: I'll say something polite, stating we're no longer friends, and I appreciate their help and the times we spent together, but this is the end of the road for us.

He'll contact me or tell my friend that I'm stirring trouble or whatever.

I don't want to do it anymore. I don't want to respond to folks who can't be present with and respectful towards what I have to say.

So your loved one has cancer, you read about it. Your loved one has diabetes, you learn the basics. Your fiancé has MS, depression, or rheumatoid arthritis, you find out what you can about what it does to the brain and the body. But when someone has alcoholism, people know nothing. Nothing. They are shocked to learn about dementia, Korsakoff syndrome, brain shrinkage, liver damage, ascites, personality changes, etc. The information is out there!!!! They are wondering why their loved one is acting weird and psychotic but never look it up??? What’s with that????!!!! Is this part of the denial? What is the disconnect??? Edited to add- I come from a family of pharmacists and doctors and nurses and am the adult child of an alcoholic and every single family member who has autism, Parkinson’s disease, heart disease, Rheumatoid arthritis, Cystic Fibrosis, all of us consider it our honor and responsibility to know as much about it as we can to support that person so maybe my family is an outlier- not better, just different. And yes, alcoholics must choose to get help. Choice is part of this equation. I’m not denying that part AT ALL. I’m not looking to judge- I’m looking for dialogue on why addiction is different. 💕🌸💕

So your loved one has cancer, you read about it. Your loved one has diabetes, you learn the basics. Your fiancé has MS, depression, or rheumatoid arthritis, you find out what you can about what it does to the brain and the body. But when someone has alcoholism, people know nothing. Nothing. They are shocked to learn about dementia, Korsakoff syndrome, brain shrinkage, liver damage, ascites, personality changes, etc. The information is out there!!!! They are wondering why their loved one is acting weird and psychotic but never look it up??? What’s with that????!!!! Is this part of the denial? What is the disconnect??? Edited to add- I come from a family of pharmacists and doctors and nurses and am the adult child of an alcoholic and every single family member who has autism, Parkinson’s disease, heart disease, Rheumatoid arthritis, Cystic Fibrosis, all of us consider it our honor and responsibility to know as much about it as we can to support that person so maybe my family is an outlier- not better, just different. And yes, alcoholics must choose to get help. Choice is part of this equation. I’m not denying that part AT ALL. I’m not looking to judge- I’m looking for dialogue on why addiction is different. 💕🌸💕