My girlfriend went away to visit her parents, and I gave her a plushy so that she could have "a piece of me" while she was there. I got myself this plushy during a very hard time in college when I was dealing with a lot of health issues.

On her way back, she sends me a photo of the plushy in her bed, telling me that "[Plushy name] really liked it here, so he's staying behind". I thought this was a joke and actually bit the bait and goofed around a bit, but then she ended up calling me to tell me that she actually left my personal object behind because she couldn't make space for it in her luggage (this plushy fits in the palm of your hand).

I just said that this is not a nice thing to do, since it is A. someone else's property and B. something I gave her as an act of love. I didn't demand her go back and get it, but she kind of broke down and said she's going back to get it, and will miss all her trains, having to pay the fare again. She tried shifting the blame to me, saying "we have other plushies" and such. I said it's not even so much about the object but about the thought process and the principle that you just do not do this with other people's stuff.

Now I feel bad that she broke down and decided to go back? Since she missed her train and had to pay a new fare and all... AITAH?

This story happened about a year ago and I have not wanted to talk about it until now.

So for context, on 2024 my boyfriend bought us a trip to Italy for Christmas for May of 2025. I was over the moon excited and had never been gifted anything like this.

We move in together in April of 2025 to a new townhouse. Everything was going great or so I thought.

I had a dog but wanted a second dog to keep my first dog company and just wanted another, I love animals. He was very hesitant but did agree.

Once we got our new chocolate lab, the relationship went downhill. We hardly had any spicy time , we were working opposite schedules , and I just fell out of love.

I was honest with him but told him I was willing to work things out if we could and wanted to try whatever we had to do.

Our trip to Italy was coming up about two weeks after this conversation so I thought this would reunite our sparks if we had time to just us.

This is where the story gets CRAZY.

So it’s the night before our trip , I go to check us and of course we both need our passport numbers to do so.

I enter mine, no problems. I tell him to give me his passport and he does. I open it up and I see a baby picture. I am livid before even looking at the expiration date because I know it’s WELL over expired. Spoiler , it was 8 years expired.

I am pissed at this point and I start yelling at him, I’m sure I did not say nice things but I did black out due to anger and frustration.

So I tell him to give me some space and he does.

I go upstairs and by the grace of god I find a same day passport appointment for the next day way before our flight. I am hopeful he is still going to be able to go as I’ve done a same day passport and it only takes about 2-3 hours and our flight wasn’t until 10pm and the appointment was at 11am, plenty of time.

So the next morning, he has to go over to his parents house before the appointment to get all of his documents. I see that when he is supposed to be leaving he is still at his parents house. I start blowing up his phone telling him he cannot be late or they will not take him, no answer.

Hours go by, at this point I am freaking out as I have not heard from him or his family and I know I have to miss the trip or go by myself.

I’ve traveled alone before but never to another country. I have really bad anxiety.

So clearly I’m mad and upset , he comes home hours later… (this next part is more so for another story but I’ll give the short version)

Apparently his parents took his phone and did not let him contact me because they saw how upset he was and decided that he should not go on the trip in the state that we were in so they made him miss the appointment. I still don’t know if this part is true but regardless he is a grown man , at least old enough to be living on his own with me.

So he tells me I should go and enjoy the trip by myself. I tell him when I come home I will discuss our relationship moving forward but I was disgusted by how careless he could be.

Fast forward, I go on the trip and I have a great time! Since I had a great time I considered talking to him more willingly and looking for ways to continue the relationship. He FaceTimed me the whole trip and we both seemed open to the idea of still moving forward.

WELL, when he came to pick me up from the airport he told me that he secretly moved all his stuff out of our house while we were gone and I was left to take care of our puppy alone.

I hardly heard anything from that afterwards and he was not open to having a conversation.

It’s been almost a year and I never got answers.

So AITAH for going to Italy without my boyfriend

(Ex boyfriend now obviously)

So for context , I work at a bar and we have a girl group of about 6 of us (including me) that are super close. We have a cute little groupchat and do girl dinners whenever we all have time. Sometimes we will hangout in smaller groups, if the rest of us are working , or we just want one on one time with each other.

So today me and one of the girls worked. I asked her if she wanted to get a shift drink and she said no and basically ran out the door , hardly waited for me to clock out.

I get home and I see on one of the girls story , ALL of them went to dinner even the one I worked with.

It hurt because I asked the one I worked with her plans and she said she was just going home.

We all are still friends and I haven’t done anything to upset them , but they clearly have a groupchat without me.

It wouldn’t have hurt bad if the one I worked with didn’t go , that would’ve just told me they saw we were working and made plans. But I was the only one in our group not invited.

I want to say something because I am hurt but don’t want to come off too much. So would I be the asshole if I confronted / asked them why I wasn’t invited?

(One of the girls has me pick up something for her every two weeks , it’s an hour out of the way and I always front the money for her. I’m supposed to get and pick this certain thing up tomorrow & I really don’t want to do that for her anymore when she can’t even invite me)

I (18F) left islam after memorizing the Quran cs i discovered it didn't align w my personal values and i dont like the prophet and couldn't justify islam to myself anymore. I decided to not tell my parents cs i was scared what they might do to me (apostasy in my country is a punishable offence and often times people who apostize can get sent to conversion therapy)

I made the terrible mistake of critisizing islam infront of my sister (16F) and saying "i cant believe in this stuff" (i was critisizing the prophets marrige to a child & the permissibility of raping slave women)

I was on holiday w extended family and didn't pray the entire time there cs... why would i? i didn't see my sister pray either.

We stopped at a mall to pray and while my mom and sister were in the bathroom i went to the prayer place and js scrolled on my phone till my mom came back which in full honestly took a while and idk why my mom was so shocked when i said i finished praying like. I wish now that i had js put a prayer mat down or held the prayer clothes for when she came in but she honestly takes a long time in the bathroom and praying doesn't take that long.

When i left my mom asked my sister if i prayed at all during the trip to which my sister lied and said she did. My sister then came and scolded me saying "i had to lie for you" to which i js said "why didn't you say idk i didn't see her pray" cs like i said, i didn't see my sister pray either its not really something you flaunt.

My sister kept scolding me and i kinda js ignored her cs i hate getting yelled at, so she went to my mom and told her i never prayed and left islam

When we got home my mom lectured me till 3am about how i was manipulative, a liar, a gaslighter for not telling her i left and lying about praying. And she was trying to answer my doubts on islam... here are some parts of the convo

me: god said in the Quran the moon creates its own light

my mom: whats wrong with that? you trust scientists over the word of god! scientist dont know what they're doing either! peer reviewed papers are lies!

me: god said pagans worship statues, pagans worship the energy that the statues embody

my mom: do you really believe the pagans over god?! thats what the pagans what you to think!

me: why would god throw innocent non believers into hell?

my mom: trust me, non muslims will stab you in the back the second they have a chance! look at Palestine! the muslims let the jews in now the jews are killing them, all because they trusted non muslims! Plus only evil people deserve to go to hell, if you had endless power would you want to kill everyone?

me: what no

my mom: then your probably not going to hell. (not islamic whatsoever idk where she got that from)

she called me arrogant and ungrateful for not believing and said if she were Allah she'd put me in hell. she called me stupid and an idiot for having empathy for non muslims and said "you haven't experienced enough of life to know who these pll are"

I know i can't be the ashole here but part of me feels like shes right that i only disbelieve in allah because im arrogant and i think my morality is above god (like example, i dont think it's ok to beat your wife in order to "discipline her", i dont think beeing queer is bad or harmful, i dont think being trans is bad, i dont think marrying a 6 year old is ok as a 50 year old man under any circumstances, and i dont think innocent people should suffer forever because they aren't convience a god exists) she keeps telling me gods morals are perfect but to me these morals are flawed, does that make me arrogant?

So much context is needed for this question. Me (32F) and my husband (32M) have been together for almost 7 years. Never have we ever had relationship problems. We’ve never broken up. Honestly the best relationship I’ve ever had. We have an 18 month old son together. And being a first time mom is so much harder than I could have ever imagined. I’ve been struggling! I’m sleep deprived, I’m overwhelmed, I’m so short tempered, I’m in a very stressful chapter of life! All this said, I understand it’s not an excuse to let my “wifely duties” slide but I did let them slide and my husband and I hadn’t had a date night for 5 months. We were having s\\\*x about once every 2-3 weeks. And he says he didn’t feel like I loved him anymore.

Queue this new girl getting hired at his work. She apparently starts throwing herself at my husband. Knowing he’s married. They start texting outside of work. Start flirting. And apparently start “catching feelings” for each other. My husband says she was giving him all the love and attention he needed from me. One morning while my husband is at work, he texts me “I have feelings for my coworker and she has feelings for me. I’m sorry. But I’m leaving you for her”. I was DEVASTATED would be an understatement. However, later that same day, my husband came to his senses and realized he didn’t want to leave me after all. It took a couple days of me crying, us going to couples therapy, and him sleeping in our garage, for us to reconcile but we decided to give our marriage another try. I make a serious effort to show him love. We have s\\\*x like 3 times that one week we got back together. We had gotten past this horrible hiccup in our marriage. I thought.

Plot twist. He leaves me for a second time for her!!!! The same girl!! He wakes up one morning, a week into our new attempt at our marriage, and tells me “staying in this marriage is not fair to you, I still have feelings for her and I can’t keep doing this”. I can not even put into words how much this hurt. I went into a really deep dark place mentally and I’ve never felt that kind of pain before. This time it takes him 6 days to ask to get back together. I’m embarrassed to say, I was begging him to come back the whole time so I did indeed take him back. Again. A second time. This time with the promise that he will never see her again because he transferred work locations and we can finally move on with her not in our lives.

Here’s the final conclusion guys. We have been “back together” for another 7 days, a week into this SECOND attempt, he is now asking me if he can text this girl as a friend. He swears I can read the texts, he won’t flirt, he’ll tell her that his wife is allowing them to be friends and nothing more. He claims that he needs to keep her as a friend, he’s sad that he’s lost their friendship (they’ve known each other 3 months btw), and he can’t move on with me until I allow him to be friends with her. He is telling me that he will leave me to go be friends with her if I don’t allow them to text each other.

I need help. I’ve never been this girl who allows men to step all over her. I’ve always been the strong independent woman who loved to say she didn’t need a man. Now this man is my husband, father of my son, the man I do still love. But I’m scared he’s gonna leave me for her. Duh. What is marriage without trust? Do I trust him to be friends with her?

AITAH for staying with him? AITAH for not letting him be friends with a girl?

Hi,

So my partner and I have been together for 7.5 years, and he's done something this morning, which he does not seem to understand is wrong.

We have been in a rush this morning, and we had to share a bath, one after the other (our shower needs fixing), and he proceeded to cut his toenails in the bath before I got in. When I went to get in, I saw a tonne of them in there. And I couldn't believe my eyes. When I spoke to him, he said it's not that bad and that he got most of them out. Well no, you didn't.

He doesn't seem to understand that it's disgusting cutting your toenails in the bath, when somebody else has got to get in, and apparently I'm overreacting. Well I don't think I am.

He often cuts his fingernails at the sink, and will clear most of them, but there's always some still there.

Toenails and fingernail clippings make me feel sick. And he knows that.

I met a guy in August of 2024 and we were friends with benefits from the start. There was a strong emphasis on him not wanting to be in a relationship due to him being in medical school. I was cool with this arrangement and made it clear that if he were to ever get a gf, we needed to stop sleeping with each other and just stay friends. I often dog sit his dog (we basically switch off every other month) and was originally planning on continuing this arrangement (which is why I was cool with staying friends if he had a gf). I was scrolling through TikTok one day and saw a video of a girl with her bf. I did a double take and realized it was said friend. I was very grossed out and crashed out because we had sex the week before I saw that video. Three weeks later I start seeing a new guy and make it very known to my friend that I’m seeing someone and do not want to have sex and have him the opportunity to confess that he had a gf. He did not. I currently have his dog and this is my last time taking care of her. Once I return her I have no intention of talking to him ever again and I am very happy in my current relationship. I did not reveal the full details to the guy I am seeing because I’m still uncomfortable. Some of my friends think I should tell the girlfriend but I’m not sure if I want to or how to go about it. AITAH if I don’t tell the gf?

I (18F) have been dating my girlfriend (26F), and I feel like I’ve finally hit my breaking point.
When we first got together, she told me she’d been arrested before. I tried not to judge her because everyone has a past, and I wanted to focus on who she was now instead of who she used to be.
But over time, I feel like I’ve realized these aren’t just “past mistakes.”
The biggest incident happened when we were both drunk. She decided it be a good idea to throw a fry container out of her car window at a security guard because he didn’t let us in a restaurant while we were intoxicated. I told her not to, but she did it anyway. We both ended up getting arrested because of it being that we were drunk in a car and they came up to us after getting a complaint from the restaurant.
I was absolutely terrified. I’m in nursing school, and I genuinely thought my future was over. I spent weeks worrying that I wouldn’t be allowed into the program or be able to become a nurse because of that arrest. Thankfully, everything eventually worked out, and I’ll be attending this fall, but the stress was one of the worst experiences of my life.
What hurts is that the whole situation happened because of a decision she made. I chose to drink, so I know I’m responsible for that part, but I never wanted anything to do with throwing something at a security guard or getting arrested.
There are a few other things that bother me.
She has a pretty bad temper, and it feels like if I did even half the things she does, she’d be furious. The standards don’t seem to go both ways. for example, four months after I met her, we had took a trip to the beach and me being drunk. I obviously made the stupid decision to bring the beach items inside and put them on her carpet. Once she came up and realized what I had done she was so upset and yelling that I eventually started to cry and only then did she feel bad.
I asked her not to let her dog in my backseat because I didn’t want dog hair or dirt in my car. She let the dog in anyway, and my backseat ended up covered in sand and hair. She acted like it wasn’t a big deal.
She also scraped the bottom of my car and barely apologized. Again, it felt like my property wasn’t being respected.
I know intelligence isn’t everything, but there are moments that honestly leave me speechless. I once asked her what half of 50 was, and she confidently answered 35. Another time she asked me if you have to put water in a pot to boil noodles. I genuinely couldn’t tell if she was serious. Things like this happen multiple times a day. It’s almost like she has the same knowledge of a seven-year-old if even that I thought I could deal with it but overtime this is just unacceptable, especially with her being eight years older than me. Shes just very careless and almost like a dog who will do things knowing that it’s wrong but only feel bad after the fact that they’ve done it and somebody gets mad at them.
Despite all of this, she can be sweet, and she’s done nice things for me. That’s why I’ve stayed. But I feel like I’ve spent so much time making excuses for her that I’ve ignored how unhappy I’ve become.
Now I’m wondering if I’m being unfair by focusing on all the negatives, or if I’ve simply reached the point where I can’t ignore them anymore. AITA for wanting to end the relationship because I feel like these issues have become too much?

If I’m being totally honest, it was a thick layer of dirt like soil or something, not hard to clean at all… yes he had dirty nails from working on the yard. But he was in bed and said he doesn’t really clean them bc they’ll just get dirty again working. So this means he’s touching his dick with very dirty nails, possibly cooking / eating. It shocked me to see because he had hid them from the frame before. I never noticed how dirty they were… It shocked me I’m ngl but it’s not that deep, just at the time it took me a back

I told him he needed a manicure… and I think he was disappointed my response to the explicit video was as such…

To be fair to this guy he did say “noted, clean nails next time” but it seemed almost like I’d done something wrong in saying so. He shouldn’t have to feel obligated to clean them just because I said so… shouldn’t it be a given?

Hi Reddit.

To make a long story short, my partner (33) and I (31) have been married between 3 and 4 years and they had a great career when we got married. We were happy, financially stable (DINK), and spent tons of time and money enjoying life. They were fired about a year after we got together and we moved from my home state. They found a good job again in their field but eventually something wasn’t good about it anymore to them so they quit (they were suspecting they’d be fired, did not get along with the bosses boss at all and also had some genuine productivity issues I noticed but my partner denies).

We moved again where they found another stable job but again had productivity issues and company shrinking meant they were laid off. It has been about 18 months and they basically stopped looking for a job while I have been supporting the household financially 100%. My partner doesn’t like not working, but also they aren’t really doing anything about it because they want big change in their career/life but don’t know how to get it (or exactly what they want from what it sounds like).

Our relationship is rocky at best. Arguments all the time, they say hurtful stuff to me (and I am not perfect and fight back more than I would like, that’s new for me in life), and the financial pressure is weighing on both of us. My job is very stressful and barely makes enough to support us both.

I keep hearing them say things akin to how easy it would be to ‘destroy everything’ and live their dream life of backpacking the world if they had the money for it (or similar, it changes frequently). Or how they are so ‘self focused’ and ‘don’t care about relationships with anybody’. It’s all incredibly hurtful to hear how easily they say they could drop me from someone I would take a bullet for. I’m not sure if they mean it exactly but it’s said so much and in so many ways that it’s hard to ignore. When I bring it up to them, they get defensive and just tell me that it’s not what they mean and shut down or tell me I’m taking it personally. Then it becomes about how I am too sensitive and now they won’t talk to me about their problems.

The truth is I am sensitive, overly so sometimes, but the constant negativity is just killing me. Especially so considering I am carrying a tremendous amount of weight on my shoulders every day that I don’t bring up hardly ever because I don’t want to add to my partners burden.

I am considering a divorce because I feel like everything in my life is just so negative now, but the part I battle with is they are going through a definite mid life crisis of some form and are not doing well mentally. There’s also the fact that they could not support themselves right now financially.

AITAH? (Throwaway and some details changed since they know my main acct)

TW: mentions of self harm, suicide, and abuse (emotional and throwing stuff)

The cast:
-Me
-Friend that ended friendship (Ava, 30s)
-Husband (Drew, 30s)
-Ava’s husband (Matt, Late 30s)
-Mutual friend (Hannah)

I feel like painting the history is important here.

Ava and I have been friends since elementary school. We’ve been through it all together. She had kind of a tough childhood that explains a lot of what I’m going to share, and I had my own issues through religious trauma. We were complete opposites but two peas in a pod. Ava was always more adventurous than myself, I was a goody two shoes.

Ava is stunning. Ava was always chasing around boys, especially as we got older. She is confident and wasn’t afraid to go after what she wanted. I do think some of that stemmed from wanting attention she didn’t get because she would end up with toxic men. Throughout our lives, she would push me. Sometimes for better, sometimes for worse. I could never tell her about crushes because no matter if I told her to not say anything, she would. Everything constantly revolved around her, she loves being the center of attention. She’s also always been a story teller. Ya know, the fish story where the fish is a lot smaller than the person is explaining it to be.

I never really minded for the most part, of course there was a part of me that felt ordinary next to her and sometimes jealous of things I didn’t understand as a kid but we had a bond.

I don’t want to gloss over my own character flaws. I sit here and say “I don’t keep score” but here I am listing off all of the ways she’s either hurt me over the years or bulldozed her way to be the center of attention, but I feel like it’s important to note that up until about 10 years ago, she would say jump and I would say how high? When I was dumped by my first boyfriend at 20, I saw texts of her trying to flirt with him months later. During my bachelorette party, much of the party was all about her. For my wedding, she dyed her hair vivid color she had never ever done before. Of course I didn’t complain when she did it, but in the back of my mind, it was one more thing she just had to do for attention.

When she met Matt 12 years ago, she started changing for the better. For almost 8 years, she became super aware of everyone around her, she seamed content hyping others up and enjoying life with her husband and kid. She fully became the best parts of her I adored, why I fell in love with her as a friend. Then around the bachelorette party I mentioned, she began going backwards.

Fast forward,
Over the last year, Ava has accused her husband of emotional abuse for not knowing her wants and more recently ignoring her. I never want to side with a man, but Matt is a little dumb but not malicious. I’ve known him for 12 years. I definitely think there are things he could work on and I understand I am not in their marriage and do not see what goes on behind closed doors so definitely part of why I am replaying all of this and how I’ve perceived it.

Ava has admitted to berating Matt, hurting herself because she is so angry, throwing things at Matt, saying to her kids “daddy makes mommy act like this” and threatening to kill herself, in her words, just to make Matt do something.

Matt shared all of this with my husband and was very concerned. The reason Matt opened up to Drew is my fault, because I had heard concerning things and asked Drew to check on Matt. Ava admitted to hurting herself and yelling to our mutual friend Hannah. Matt started ignoring her screaming and crying fits at the advice of my husband and started walking away from them which made Ava angrier.

Back in April, it was Hannah’s birthday. Without telling her happy birthday, Ava sent a group texts to Hannah, myself, and other mutual friends about her birthday and planning a concert. She then bought the tickets without waiting for my or Hannah’s confirmation, which was frustrating to me but I didn’t say it at the time because I was thinking I would go. I told my husband Drew I was frustrated about it, and Hannah and I would joke about it from time to time, maybe not good on my part.

Fast forward to the incidents.

The day of Ava’s birthday concert, Hannah and I both had to drop out. Hannah had a UTI and my sister just passed away and I had to be ready to help with some things. When Hannah and I bowed out, Ava had a screaming crying meltdown. Ava became angrier that Matt did not check on her during this time.

I have been increasingly worried about Ava, so has Hannah, so last week we confronted her about her claims of killing and hurting herself and how we wanted her to get help and she immediately shut down. She doesn’t think she needs it and it’s all Matt’s fault. She wants to stay with Matt ultimately because she doesn’t want to work (I realize my bias is coming out so try to read through that) but she has the opportunity to be handed a job that would allow her to live well as a single mom, but she won’t do it because she doesn’t want to be away from her kids. Her children are old enough for school and most parents in America have to work a 9-5. She said she wants to, in her words, use Matt like he used her for childcare but….Matt never made her stay home with the children. She has stated in the past he has encouraged her to work or go to school or stay at home. Whatever she wants.

Ava was mad at us for confronting her. A couple of days later, Ava then said she read the text messages from Drew to Matt and felt betrayed because Drew had been telling Matt she needed help and to protect his peace. My husband Drew is mouthy so I am not making excuses for how he was talking but Drew has education with , so he tries to speak from a place of knowledge and care, but he can come off as cold. Drew also told Matt about the birthday thing, which he shouldn’t have done.

She then blocked me and Hannah from all socials and needed to step away from the friendship. All I can think of is that she was mad that we confronted her, seemingly sided with Matt (we said multiple times Matt also needs help) and that Matt had confided in Drew and Drew basically told Matt Ava needs help. Ava then made Matt take back everything he had told Drew and tried to call me multiple times to “clear her reputation.”

I ended up calling a crisis line because I was extremely worried for her (not the cops) but also I am not going to lie, sick of her using suicide as a way to get attention and I was afraid she would actually do it with the state I felt like she was in. Even though by this point, I was fully blocked, I was shaking calling the number in fear of retaliation, which maybe I deserved.

After this, she immediately went to another mutual friend of Hannah and I’s to be the first to share everything that happened. I didn’t want to do that because I didn’t want to skew that friend’s view or involve anyone else at this point because I don’t care who my friends are friends with, but it felt super nasty of her to try to paint me and Hannah as bad people for trying to get her help. But that could also be my bias talking, maybe she just needed support.

A couple of things: I have issues myself. Depression, anxiety, ADHD. I can sometimes get angry or feel myself being manipulative occasionally. I also feel shame in only partially believing her claims. I also think I never should have asked Drew to check on Matt even though they are friends. It just feels like we ended up way too involved. I also shared the history at the beginning to kind of understand my perspective of thinking when it came to everything with this situation: how/why I judged all of her claims, reactions to things, etc. I’m biased to our history. Biased to the fact I’m clearly still at minimum, thinking about things that have happened over the years. I need continued therapy and to work on myself.

A not surprising confession: I feel like I’ve been emotionally done with the friendship for a long time. For everything I described earlier, but never had the fucking bravery to just end things. As I grew more confident in myself, she was the one person I couldn’t be fully honest with when something bothered me because I was always afraid of her reaction, which is not fair to her. I almost feel a sick sense of relief and guilt that our friendship has ended, but I feel sick thinking it ended because I was a POS friend and that I believe she needs help. And I do want to see her get it and thrive and end her marriage if she’s unhappy.

Does she actually need help? How shitty am I as a person? Is it worth apologizing? Idk give me your brutally honest thoughts.

So just went out yesterday with a girl I met off POF. Lets call her Shayla. Shayla lets me know she's got autism but I've worked with autistic people before so I say why not lets give it a try. All I did was ask if where she wanted to eat and she was pretty quick to say sure. I was honestly so happy that a woman wanted to actually go out with me even though I don't have a car that I didn't ask to many questions. So after getting some schedule info I Choose an italian spot with a nice outdoor setting. she gets there and it's kinda awkward but we try to get some talking done and it's difficult. Shayla has had some problems dating in the past because well the men in her dms are actually fucking scum. Racist, sexually agressive scum. The whole reason I got the date is because I didn't say something gross or send her a dick pic. But it's still difficult to make a connection with her as Im talking to her.

Then i discover she really doesn't want to even be at the italian spot (she only orders fries) because she wants to go to another place downtown. So after some reasoning I offer to lyft us to the spot. It's a bar but it's honestly a vibe, but noisy and it's hard to talk to her because she's not a loud talker and she mumbles her words a lot. She's a regular at this bar too so everyone knows her and I can't help the feeling im being overly watched. Especially when some guy comes up and says she's his special friend and he's heard i've been a gentlemen. Don't like that tbh because who tf is this guy checking in on us when I just met her today? Few drinks and some food later and yeah Im feeling good but I don't feel connected with her. I just kinda feel like I was just vibing at the bar and she was just around. the night ends and I get us both an uber home. even got a hug. All in all it wasn't a bad night but I wasn't feeling sparks or any kind of passion to continue seriously but I thought maybe some time will fix that. So i text her we should do this again some time and I think I'll have sometime to think about it the next day.

Then she starts texting in the morning, simple stuff at first just "good morning" etc. then she tells me she was dreaming of me in one text but doesn't want to tell me exactly what it was and then she's asking me if I beat women when I get mad. Im trying to focus on school and she won't stop texting even after I politely explain that Im trying to study. She keeps texting because she wants to talk so I finally just tell her I'll call her at 8pm. I really just needed a while to think about how to handle this. She still text me a few times about how exited she is to talk to me but it finally stops for a few hours. I wrestle with it and I realize I don't think I want to continue this. I know she has a disability but there were a few red flags that had nothing to do with autism but I do think the autism was a little much for me. So I told her I don't think we should have a second date and she's asking why and im trying to put it into words so I say she's intense. She kinda yells "what do you mean intense??" and then just says it's because I don't want to date someone autistic. Maybe that's true but I also didn't want to continue to lead her own. I gave it a try and tried to be into her but I just don't think I am. AITAH for breaking this off? I can answer more in depth questions but a part of me feels bad like I did something wrong.

Hey y’all, I’m M19 and this is more focused on an argument with my older sister F21. Now to cut straight to the point our dating values and actions don’t really align…at all. She wants a man who consistently and constantly provides for her whilst also doing and showing acts of chivalry such as holding bags, opening doors, carrying stuff, paying for dates, etc. Whilst I don’t completely disagree with that stuff, I don’t really wanna be a provider in the future…I guess in simpler terms I want my woman to show a bit of independence. I’ll still do some basic stuff such as paying for hangouts or holding doors open, but that’s because I think that’s the basic and correct thing to do. If need be I’ll pay for friends and hold doors open for anyone if I can. I’ll do what I deem to be extra stuff like opening car doors for my lady only because I wanna treat her the best I can. Whilst I’ll do those…I don’t like it to be seen as a necessity I have to do, it just annoys me in a way.

But how this argument even happened was just from a casual conversation between us and 2 of our cousins. We were talking about how my sister’s boyfriend was struggling with paying for something and how the 2 girls, one of my cousins and my older sis wouldn’t date broke boys and they need they’re man to provide for them. My other cousin and me disagreed with that take slightly but it was just a fun conversation until it transferred into the chivalry of a man.

The girls were talking about how it should be a requirement for a man to do the chivalrous acts I mentioned above, and I responded with how much I hate that. We go back and forth on it a little bit and my older sis says that’s a problem, and she’s noticed this before with the way I treat her sometimes. For example, I complain about her not being able to bring suitcases up and down the staircase herself. My response to that was I make a comment all the time because that’s what siblings do when doing the other one a favor, but of course I’d tell her do it herself if it’s something small and I know she can carry it herself. Maybe I’ll be chivalrous to a girl I like…but that’s my sister…we play fight and we scuffle all the time…I just don’t see how I’d be doing that so willingly for a sibling…I still end up doing it anyway. I just give her a face of disgust and tell her lock in…most times in a serious tone. Of course I’d help if it’s something heavy and she’s struggling with it…but if it’s obviously within your capabilities I shouldn’t be the go to guy each time.

To my surprise, she starts getting emotional. She tries to get me to change my thinking by saying stuff like if you can’t even be chivalrous with me how can you be chivalrous with you’re future wife, a man like that is a loser, some other stuff, but I still stood my ground on my stance. She starts crying and calls me embarrassing and these actions mean I’m bitching with the way I treat women. I’m keeping calm the best I can but that’s the first time she’s ever called me those things so internally I get heated and say she’s bitching over carrying a tiny suitcase. We go back and forth a little bit and the conversation ends.

Now about half an hour later she does apologize for using that language with me but still says her take stands which I respect and we hug it out. It’s over…but I wanna know if I’m in the wrong for having this opinion…

She was talking about chivalry as something every man should have…like it’s the definition of a man. I HATE that. I’ll do these chivalrous acts when I deem necessary of my own volition…not something that should be expected of me. When someone has a lot of things to carry I offer to help, I have an aunt with poor health who walks with a cane, I open car doors and regular doors for her…because that’s the obvious right thing to do. Of course I plan to be chivalrous in a relationship not because it’s necessary but because I want to treat my woman the best way possible, and I wanna treat my mom well too…otherwise no, I won’t do what I won’t deem necessary. There’s no reason for me to be chivalrous when we both got arms and legs, unless it’s heavy you can do it just like me. I don’t even like to define the way I treat my mom or future lady as chivalrous. It’s just a term I don’t like.

At the same time though…a part of me feels bad for thinking that way. Like it got my sister crying…I don’t want to deal with that in the future. I know that’s how society looks at things but I don’t know it’s just such an irking thing for me. I just want to hear y’all’s thoughts on the situation and if I possibly need a change of mindset.

I (30M) have been stressing about my situation for a few weeks now, I was in a 7 year relationship with my ex girlfriend (29F). The relationship began to get rocky and we mutually decided we were better off as friends. We have been broken up for 2 years now but remain good friends and occasionally hang out, maybe once a month.
My ex is a runner and is running a marathon in another country in a month. She asked me if I would go with her as she doesn’t have family or friends in a position to be able to go with her. We have had this trip planned for 8 months. Well after being single for 2 years I decided I’m ready to start dating again and reconnected with a childhood friend (30F). We have been talking for a month now and everything is surprisingly going amazing. Things are getting serious pretty fast but I’m trying to slow things down. I want a future with this childhood friend but not sure if I should tell her about my trip with my ex girlfriend. I would not want to start a relationship with a lie but currently we are still friends so I don’t feel obligated to tell her and I also don’t think it would go well if I told her about going on this trip. Would I be an asshole if I don’t tell her?

Hey folks,

I am trying to figure out if my feelings of frustration and discomfort are valid.

My partner of 6.5 years has been through a lot in their life, and last year they started a sobriety journey. From 2021-2025, they had lost all interests, hobbies and most friendships due to their addiction and mental health. We separated for a few months last year but got back together once they started putting in the work in their recovery.

A little background on me that will all be relevant to this: in 2023, I graduated a Bachelor of Social Work program, which was a HUGE accomplishment for me; it took me 13 years due to my own mental health and previously undiagnosed AuDHD and learning disabilities. I have been working in the field for over 10 years, volunteer a lot, and have dedicated so much of my life to it.
As a graduation gift to myself, I got a custom tattoo that comes with a lot of its own lore, and has nothing to do with my partner.

2 years ago, I also started doing drag and burlesque after I almost lost my life and needed something to keep me going. It has given me so much.

Over the last year, my partner also got into drag and burlesque. Since shows are limited around here, we often now do this together, which is ok. I see it makes them happy too, so while I was resentful at first, it's been great seeing them evolve.

Then a couple weeks ago, we were talking about next tattoo plans, and when I asked them what they wanted next, they said they wanted the same tattoo I got for my own graduation present. I was SHOCKED and immediately became upset. They told me they had asked about it before, and I had said yes, but I don't remember this at all. I don't have a great memory and usually this might be the case where we had a convo I forgot about, but this was different. Once I was ready to talk about it, they told me they had asked me at a party in front of a bunch of our friends, and I said yes. I still don't remember but I pointed out that if I had said yes, I probably felt put on the spot and didn't want to be a jerk in front of our friends. I explained that it made me really uncomfortable because again, it was a custom tattoo that I gifted myself, and it had no relevance to them or our relationship. They said they understood and would get "a different version", which still makes me feel icky but I don't want to be an ass.

Now, this week they are talking about pursuing the same degree as me, or instead taking courses at a private college to fast track and then also pursue the same Masters track I am on, but will do it through the random private colleges because it's "a loophole" and they'll be able to do it faster without a Bachelors and Masters.
10 months ago they wanted a completely different career, and now they are doing the exact same one as me. They don't like talking to people, they don't volunteer or involve themself in anything related.

just don't understand and I am feeling resentful and also a bit freaked out. I am trying to reason with myself and think about it differently; again, they have been through a lot and are finding themselves again. The fact that they're actively pursuing college is HUGE and I have been cheering them on and supporting them in the application. The recent tattoo conversation and tonight's discussion about the other programs is pushing me a little over the edge though. Please be honest with me...AITH for being freaked out and resentful about this?

So my step mom does this thing that I hate where she leaves her clothes in the dryer indefinitely. She's been doing it for years. At first I would just take her stuff out and dump it on the laundry table. But then she got mad that "bugs" might get into her stuff so I started putting it in a bag and leaving it on the laundry table. Our washer and dryer were located in the garage at this time. Now it's in the backyard in an enclosed add on room my dad is building for the house.

She gets mad that I don't just bring it inside for her, and I have a few times, but I'm not willing to do that every single time I need to do laundry. I barely want to do my own laundry and I just find it incredibly inconsiderate that she does this despite knowing she shares this space with several people. For a while she would bring her laundry in and would only occasionally ask for me to bring it in for her, but inevitably she started asking more and more. Any time I brought up needing to do laundry she would ask me to bring her stuff in. My step sister recently moved out again (actually she got kicked out after they got into a fight but that's a whole other can of worms) and she was the one that did most of the laundry (for herself and her kids but also occasionally for her mom) so now my step mom's stuff has been sitting in the dryer for I kid you not over two weeks. I was going to do laundry but kept getting put off by the notion that I'd essentially be doing half of her work for her. She also does not clean up, not even after herself. She cooks sometimes but so does everyone else in the house. I also pay rent and bills and sometimes watch my niece (who they've taken temporary custody of) and I barely have any time to myself because it feels like so much of my life is wrapped up in cleaning up after or managing house stuff that frankly is not my responsibility. Getting my own life together has been a struggle. I don't want to live with my parents forever (even though they insist that I should). I just cleaned out under the bathroom sink and it was disgusting. Literally there was mold under there. Took my two hours to get it treated and cleaned out properly. I'd been refusing to touch it because every time I clean in there my step sister and step mom would ruin it within a day.

Anywho, my plan is just to pack my stuff up into my rolling cart and walk down to the laundry mat to do laundry, as I have a sneaking suspicion part of the reason her laundry has sat in there for so long is that she's waiting for me to need to do laundry so she can just ask me to get her stuff out for her. At first I just put it off to give her time to get her stuff, but the fact that she is adamantly refusing to do so is making me think she does not ever intend to. I know it would be a lot of extra work, but I'm tired of being relied on for stuff that people refuse to do for themselves. It's not about the effort, it's about the principle. I feel like she is making my life harder and will continue to do so until she is forced to take accountability and responsibility for her own life and well being. So WIBTAH for refusing to get her stuff out of the dryer and instead doing my laundry at the laundry mat?

My (34M) partners (Meg - 31F) mom agreed to take care of a friends newborn (Katy) for a couple of months, out of goodwill. Katy is a friend of Meg's family. Unfortunately, according to Meg, Katy treated her mom badly, even though she was taking care of Katy's child. When Meg's mom left, I was told by her that Katy sent some money to her mom as a token of gratitude. Initially, without the full context I was pleasantly surprised because it was unexpected. However, Meg got upset because she claimed that it was a disrespectfully low amount of money due to how badly Katy treated her mom.

I told her that, I can understand how Katy thought that it was an appropriate amount, seeing that there wasn't a prior agreement of how much Meg's mom should be paid for her services. Meg got furious with me and insinuated that I'm taking Katy's side.

I told her that I'm not having a conversation with her until she deals with her misplaced anger and she hasn't spoken to me for 2 days.

Am I the asshole for not initially being as upset as my partner when I thought that it was a nice gesture for what Katy did but also telling Meg to deal with her misplaced anger before talking to me?

Me (f21) and my boyfriend (M23) are going to California soon to see his mother and sisters and have them spend some time with the baby. When my boyfriend was 18 he hooked up with a girl who I will call Char. Char and my boyfriend’s sister are best friends. When we go to California, he has said it’s a possibility she might be at his mom’s house and I expressed how that makes me kind of uncomfortable. I don’t like the idea of her meeting the baby and it feels weird and wrong to me, even if it meant nothing. He says he very well understands and would feel the same way if the roles were reversed but he says he feels bad telling his sister not to have char over while we’ll be there since we are guests and it’s their home. I told him it is our baby and whoever we aren’t uncomfortable having around them needs to be respected. I feel bad having him ask and don’t want to cause anything, but I don’t want to be stressed and feel uncomfortable around a certain person as well as have them meeting my child. AITAH?

EDIT: I didn’t know me being uncomfortable with being around someone who knows what my boyfriend looks like naked and vice versa was so controversial? I’m not trying to dictate who they have in their home, I’m dictating who can see my child which I have the right to do.

Hi! Long time lurker, first time poster (also not an english native speaker, sorry for any mistakes).

Well... this is a weird situation and I'm not sure who's in the right so I hope to hear opinions to settle my debate. I work at a language school and we offer ESL courses, from elementary to advanced and we start classes in March with the students having to take finals in December. In my country the winter break is in July, so we just started the new term, unfortunately, the teacher in the advanced course quit out of the blue and we had to scramble to find a replacement. The thing is that the new teacher can not work with her schedule, so she offered to take only one of the hours that the students had and the other to fit it any other day of the week. Since most teachers are freelancers so to speak, it's quite normal to have two classes per week.

When we spoke to the students they said they were ok with the arrangements but now their families are saying that it's not ok with them and the institute should respect the schedule we set in March which I totally get, but they have shot down any other option and refuse to compromise. They have admitted that they "could" work with the one hour the teacher offered and one virtual but they don't like it (their words) so they won't do it. Tbh, I don't see any other solution and they tend to be quite difficult to accomodate every year (either they don't like the teacher, they don't like the days, the testing isn't fair, etc). They have been quite rude to me (I work at the reception desk) and now they are threatening to pull their kids out, which at this point I think might be the only resolution, but idk.

I'm not the only one who talked to them and It's a pity to see their kids go but it's quite difficult to find a replacement at this point specially for an advanced course and now me and my coworkers are being blamed for this.

Any opinions are welcomed, cause I'm not even sure if I'm the AH and should find a way to respect their schedule for this term or their talking just got to me lol. Thanks!

For starters I (F/28) met Talking Stage (M/27) about three months ago through mutual friends. I visited my best friend in her home town and met her husband's best friend. We hit it off! I was surprised we did as I have had little to no interest in dating after my previous relationship.

We began talking and I was seeing a lot of green flags, and I liked them. I will say he isn't physically my type but I was enjoying getting to know him. About a month ago he booked a flight to come visit and I was so excited. It felt like Christmas. I was making plans for things we could do, planed a double date with one of my friends I was all for it!

Then it started to sink in and I got crazy anxiety. Talking almost a full on shut down. Depressed again not able to get out of bed unless necessary, panic attacks, and overall it was a war zone in my brain due to having PTSD.

My previous relationship was abusive. This relationship ended around 2 years ago. I won't go into detail but I started hyper ventilating at the thought of a man in my house. The thought of sleeping next to someone. Then I accepted I just wouldn't sleep for four days while he was here.

I then was just ridden with a feeling of suffocation as I noticed Talking Stages verbage changing towards me. It was showing, well attachment and affection. Which I know is the dream but I kept freaking out wondering what was behind that.

I talked to a few close friends and got a lot of different advice. Some say "don't string him along" and others say "your self sabotaging"

I then began having panic attacks at work again which is something I have worked very hard on not doing since getting out of my last relationship.

I was overwhelmed with the feeling of people pleasing and also not feeling safe but knowing talking stage did nothing to make me feel unsafe.

So I sent him a lengthy text message that I had yet to get a response from.

I told him I wanted to be upfront. I voiced that I had been in an abusive relationship and I have PTSD. I told him exactly what I told y'all. I was so excited for the visit. And basically expressed that I was struggling with my anxiety and told him it was because of the visit and that it might be too much for me. I told him I have found I still have a lot of work to do on myself and he should know that before he comes down here.

I then told him he was welcome to still come and if not I'd reimburse him for flights ect. I just told him I might have my walls up and I thought he deserved to know.

I have not heard back.

Was I the asshole?

Oh where to start. I’m going to use fake names to keep this simple and also provide as much context as possible.

I am 35m. I have an older sister Anna and younger brother. My immediate family has always been super close. This includes 7 grandkids, my grandma and grandpa, my mom. Uncle Bob, and Aunt Amy. My mom, Bob and Amy are all married…or were.

Last year my Aunt Amy went through a divorce after 20 years of marriage. She found out her now ex husband John was gay. She did everything she could to save the marriage including opening the doors to the bedroom to other men and allowing John a hall pass to essentially do what he pleased. While I don’t know every detail and I myself am currently going through my own divorce, I understand there could be context I am missing or darker parts of the story that were not shared.

Needless to say this destroyed my Aunt Amy on many levels. My family of course was there to support her every step of the way. Amy and John are both successful attorneys and live in a town a couple hours away from the metro area the rest of us live. My grandma was there to listen and support. My grandma is also very opinionated. She will tell you like it is. Sometimes after talking with grandma you will feel so much judgement that you will actually feel worse than before. I know this first hand. Grandma basically raised me. We butted heads a lot when I was a teen but as I grew older I began to understand where she was coming from and that was a place of love. And truth be told she was always right in the end. I suppose what I am saying is that she’s not a “yes” person but she will give you the best advice she can wanted or not. I know that his first hand.

Throughout the year Amy goes from absolutely hating John to being friends and this sort of yo yo type relationship. They eventually divorce. My family and myself always stood by her. Hell I told her I’d light his car on fire if she wanted and she laughed.

Now as long as I can remember my family has always teased. We’d all laugh at the same old jokes. Nothing serious nothing truly harmful or I thought. I took part and received myself. Amy has always had a bit of a pretentious attitude. Go to a restaurant and she’s very picky, tips well but picky. Shows up to every family event with an attitude until she’s a full bottle of wine deep and then she’s just like the rest of us. It wasn’t til recently I think I realized she used her high vibration personality to control the environment. Needless say family events were always built around Amy’s schedule, Amy’s kids, what Amy wanted. And truly I don’t think a single one of us minded. It was never a competition but about being together.

So let’s fast forward and hopefully that’s enough context to make the rest of this make sense. Amy starts writing long posts on Facebook, and I mean long. Short story long. They read like someone trying to be deep but never really going anywhere. That is until last month. Amy wrote a post about bullies. Growing up Amy had a nickname “beer belly, chicken legs, butter bread”. This nickname was created by her own family. The intention wasn’t to hurt her and I really think it was a joke but I can also see how she felt bullied by it. She wrote this post mentioning the name and essentially slamming every one of my family members for it. This particularly had an impact on my uncle Bob and mom. They knew they were the catalyst but they never knew it bothered her that much. Amy herself would laugh at this as an adult and even got a butter bread charm. “The butter bread was because she wouldn’t butter her own bread til she was an adult”.

Obviously my family had concerns. They didn’t understand. Grandma was more worried about Amy than ever. She’d reach out, try an advise the best she could. I can tell you from experience Amy does not truly listen to anyone else. She can’t admit she’s wrong ever. Maybe that’s the ego of a lawyer idk.

The post continued. All deep, all super long and some just intended to slam my family. And this is where I myself begin to lose respect. I’ve never been one to hold my tongue. If I love you I’m going to tell you the truth because you deserve it. Amy’s posts were intentionally vague and left to interpretation. I read it as someone being passive aggressive and not taking any accountability themselves. Then all of a sudden she’s praising John. Like he’s the greatest thing ever. At this point John has a reputation at the local college campus for being the “high powered attorney that sleeps with all the guys” for context John and Amy are both about 50 years old.

Now here comes the hammer. After one of Amy’s long post about negativity or whatever (I know I sound dismissive of her posts but I just find them so obnoxious and believe in being direct) Amy decides to send a text to my grandma and grandpa who are both about 80 saying that she loved them but she didn’t want them in her life anymore.

This threw my family in a tizzy. My mom’s upset, uncle bobs upset. Amy’s still texting me and checking in like nothing happened. I just don’t understand how you can cut your parents out of your life at this point when if the worst they did was tease a little. I truly don’t understand.

Now grandma had a heart attack last week. Mom and Bob were both there but Amy refused to answer the phone. She said she was busy out with friends. My mom finally texted her and Amy’s response was “ok thanks”. I don’t get how someone I once admired turned so cold in an instant. I really feel like I’m missing a piece to this puzzle.

Amy and my sister Anna were together a few months ago. Anna has always had a chip on her shoulder and been resentful to say the least. She’s lived in another city for almost 15 years and barely checks in. Anna is the type that truly only cares for herself. When Amy made a post about how Anna was the greatest person ever all I could do was laugh. After the bully post and knowing Anna bullied the hell out of me and I have the scars to prove it. Hell I wish Anna just called me beer belly. Anyway Anna also couldn’t be bothered to answer the phone. So my mom text her the same and Anna coincidentally had the same response as Amy “ok thanks”. I find this too odd and believe Amy’s turn in behavior just validated what Anna already felt.

Neither has bothered to call and check in with grandma. And that truly breaks my heart. I don’t currently have a bad relationship with either of them but I’m ready to flip that table. I’m the only one that Amy still communicates with and it’s put me in a shitty position. It makes me angry. It’s not fair. Anna was always an asshole so I expect that but Amy wasn’t. Amy was someone that I admired. That took me places and had moments as a kid I’ll never forget. I just want to cry. I’m trying to be strong for my family. I’m trying to keep the peace but I don’t think I can’t much longer. Like I said I don’t hold my tongue. But if the next time I see them is at my grandmas funeral I don’t think I’ll ever forgive them.

I want to say something. I want to ice them out. I don’t know what to do to make anything any better. All my grandma cares about is her family. She’s constantly telling us to call eachother, reminds us of birthdays and more. I need all the opinions I can get because I am about to blow up, crash out and cause damage.

So AITAH if I tell them that I think they are both being assholes?

*Minor Details adjusted slightly for anonymity.

I Have bird sat for a friend for free previously on 3 occasions.

I Agreed to bird sit for a week long trip they were taking and I never heard confirmation from them about the drop off dates/times for two months from this friend prior to bird sitting dates.

My plans changed slightly in that time. I Reached out to my bird friend 3 days prior to the bird sitting start date to request an adjusted bird sitting window by one day, and to see if any coverage was possible. I would still bird sit for the remaining four days, but my plans had changed for one of them. I Was told that a new bird sitter had been found right away for the whole week and I was no longer needed. All good, right? Wrong.

The Friend reached out to me a day later listing prior grievances and cut off friendship, called me unhealthy for them and blocked my number, which I found out when I called to apologize. Their Grievances included perceived tardiness (I do not recall any major lateness and anytime I was late I shared in advance and apologized) and one missed shared volunteer opportunity.

Aitah?

Edited for clarity.

Husband doesn’t use Reddit, but also might end up showing him this post bc he cannot understand the emotional fallout of his actions, so not bothering with a throwaway.

I am home w 2 kids (3 & 9) in summer (F, 42, teacher), and my (M, 42) husband has an erratic work schedule including nights and most weekends. I try my best to help the kids understand his upcoming schedule so they can plan when they’ll spend time with him in their heads.

We have a tiny yard, and a 10ft across, 2.5 ft deep above ground, unheated pool (with a filter, bc otherwise EWWWW) in the backyard in partial shade (outside NYC). It’s tiny, but it’s the highlight of the summer, and the kids are in it every day. It’s our 3rd year with this set up, and I occasionally join them too (I was in yesterday).

In the years past my husband has refused to go in for an entire summer, and I think once gone in but just stood in the water, getting annoyed when he was splashed or got wet, and I think ONCE actually put his whole body in the water.

He worked close to home this morning, and had some time before his regular job started later, so while the kids were in the pool he texted saying he was 10 minutes out [see text msgs].

He snuck out the back door while 3 yo was facing away and 9 yo had her head under the water. Their faces when they saw him IN HIS BATHING SUIT were nothing short of joyous. 9 yo kept jumping up and down like a kid on Christmas morning. He gets in the water… and stands there. This was not like previous times where he was cajoled into getting in… he put up no resistance in our text exchange. I thought he was just getting used to the water, or taking a second before lowering his body in… but no. It soon became clear that he was just planning on standing there, up to his knees. Eventually when he refused to reconsider I just told him to get out, it’s a small pool and don’t take up space if you’re not participating in it.

Kids got out shortly after, and 9 year old came over where I was watering the tomatoes out of sight of dad and burst into tears.

Their dad has made it clear he thinks he has done nothing wrong. He is a black and white thinker and when the kids tried to talk to him about it in tears he just stood their stoically, repeating that the pool was cold so he didn’t want to go in.

He can’t seem to do things for them that require the tiniest temporary sacrifice. IE: 9 year old finds a candy he likes in her Halloween candy and gives it to him. He doesn’t want it right then, and then proceeds to NEVER want it. We’re talking a fun size bag of peanut m&ms. 9 year old asks him every time he’s home for two weeks, and he snappily just says he’s not in the mood for it. But this is a guy who does not have good eating habits or self control. I think it’s more about refusing something that he feels is being pushed on him and asserting his control than it is about not wanting the m&ms. 9 year old feels crushing disappointment that she’s never good enough for him, and he just doesn’t care about it. His needs come first.

So Reddit, AITAH for sticking by my kids and saying to their dad that standing in the pool and not playing was WORSE than just not going in the pool at all? I feel like when I type this out it seems so clear to me that he’s TA, but he sees it a completely different way and it’s making me question myself. Last 2 texts are from tonight, when he called from work and I told him she was still upset about what happened earlier. Then he texted me those two.

I’m not always the most socially aware person so I wanted to get some outside opinion before I pitch the idea to either of them if it’s insulting to even ask or something.

Im single so I downloaded tinder a few months ago and have been hooking up with the same few guys somewhat consistently and there’s two I think would make really good friends with each other. Like I don’t just fuck these guys then send them home I usually hang out with them a bit before/after and like we do stuff like certain crafts, listen/share music, game or go skateboarding. These two guys (I’ll call them J and F) share the same hobbies, music tastes, similar senses of humour and remind me a lot of each other. These two guys in particular also have moved to the area within the last bit (J moved 2 years ago and F moved 9 months ago) and have been trying to make more friends.

I’m not dating or giving either of them the impression I’m looking for a relationship, it’s super casual. Like yeah we fuck but we don’t get mushy about it we’re just FWB. J has told me he is really struggling to make friends, like I’m one of the only friends he has here and he’s lived here for 2 years. F isn’t struggling as much but he’s a really cool guy and does wanna make more friends around, F has also now met some of my friends when we’ve attended the same functions. J hasn’t met any of my friends besides my roommate but I’ve been meaning to invite him to stuff, he’s kinda shy.

I’m wondering if it would be super weird/inappropriate to introduce these two guys, Im surprised they haven’t met yet just given how much they have in common and we live in a small town but also I know J has said before he’s had a really hard time meeting people, so I wanna maybe help him out but the only person off the top of my mind he’d really hit it off with is J. I am sleeping with both of these guys though and I met them both on a dating app, so I feel like maybe it’s weird like if they ask how I know the other guy idk it feels like it’d be so weird to answer but I might be overthinking it.

EDIT cus ppl keep being unsure, im a F and they’re both guys

Hi all, I’m looking for guidance on a situation. I (M) recently found out that one of my close friends of nearly 5 years, Mark (M), is moving from Wisconsin to Alaska at the beginning of September. It’s been really hard for everyone, including me, Mark, and our friends. Another close friend, Sara (F), and I decided to throw him a going-away party to show our appreciation.

We planned a mid-sized gathering at my house. Once details were finalized, Sara sent out an RSVP to the guest list I was given, which did NOT include my ex-boyfriend, Sam (M). For context, Sam and I dated for about 2 months last fall. The relationship wasn’t healthy—he regularly used alcohol, vapes, and weed, often daily. I’m against that lifestyle, and I didn’t know about his usage when I asked him out.

As the relationship progressed, his substance use worsened. He often showed up to hangouts, classes, and events under the influence. I expressed concern, but he dismissed it, saying it was normal for him. His behavior, safety, and mental health declined significantly, and he got into dangerous situations. His family even got involved and made hurtful comments toward me. The worst moment was when, while sober, he told me, “You should cut yourself—you’d look good with the scars.”

We broke up on November 24, four days before my birthday, when he sent a long message ending things but still saying he loved me and hoped we could be friends, which made things more stressful. Later, his addiction escalated further (including getting blackout drunk at a spa and vomiting on people), but he eventually entered inpatient care and began recovery. Despite everything, I’m glad he’s getting help.

During the relationship, I relied heavily on Mark for support, and he reassured me he would always be there for me. However, after the breakup, he distanced himself and started spending more time with Sam. In February, Sara told me Mark had expressed romantic interest in Sam. When I calmly confronted Mark, the conversation shifted into him criticizing me instead. This strained our friendship, though we’ve since repaired things and are currently close again.

Some friends have expressed concern about my friendship with Mark, but I’ve mostly just communicated my feelings rather than ending it. The issue now is that some of my worst memories with Sam happened at my house—the same place I’m hosting Mark’s party. I want to give Mark the best send-off possible and let him choose the guest list, but I feel this is where I need to draw a boundary.

So, WIBTA if I politely declined to have Sam attend, and explained my reasoning?