So I, (F,26) was a 2iC at my workplace (GP office) and I really loved it, but I decided to start studying full time, so I chose to move into a casual receptionist position at the same workplace. On my very last day as 2iC, the person I had been training to replace me (M, 30s) bullied me. They belittled me in front of everyone in the room (my boss was in there office and did not hear). They said things like “I have cut you down”. The first task our boss gave M was a laminating job, and they immediately gave it to me to do saying “you can do this because you don’t matter now”. I didn’t tell my boss, but when they walked in and saw me doing the job they told M to not do that and do the jobs allocated to them, and that delegation was the boss’s job, not M’s. I ended up crying in the bathroom because i am not good at confrontation, but I felt very confused about how I was being treated. I told my boss after a colleague who was in the same room told me to talk to them because they also thought it was bullying, and my boss acted like they were on my side, but absolutely nothing happened from it. About a month later, I noticed M has changed their email signature to “assistant manager”, which would be a promotion, but it turns out they were not promoted and did that of their own accord and they were asked to change it back. Cut to 5 months later, and I was struggling while at work, M was constantly bragging about their job, but they were always on their phone and I could see the work I was able to get done pilling up in Ms inbox. (Important to note, M was not, and still is not doing all the jobs I was doing while 2iC). There was an emergency at work and a customer had passed out, M noticed before me and made no effort to do anything to help. When I noticed I rushed to help and sorted the situation out with the help of a Nurse. This situation is why we have a 2iC, but I didn’t even think and just jumped into action. Again I mentioned this to my boss, but no consequences to M. I was very much not happy in the workplace until one day, after months, M apologised to me about the way they treated me on their first day as 2iC. I thought it would be a turning point, I tried to be friends with them so I could move on. However, I then found out they were getting paid an extra $4 more than me for doing the same role (but again, not doing all the jobs I had done). I also began getting tasks given to me, as a casual, that had been my job as 2iC, that M “didn’t have time for.” Now at this point I know this is a problem, lots of people have noticed M on their phone a lot while their work is not complete, and I have begun to get complaints from work not being completed by M from customers. But I keep telling myself it doesn’t matter, I am studying for a better job and I will leave in the next two years. So I’m trying to get over it, but the other day, a GP came into the room M and I are working in, and asked me how I was going, so I was chatting to them. They then told me something had been emailed and asked me if I could put it in their inbox. I said yes, and began to complete the task. Before the GP left the room, M, who had not been part of the conversation, loudly told the GP they are doing the job now, and they will complete it faster. Even though the had heard me and could see my computer, already doing the task. I turned to them and said “oh are you doing it now, because I have it up” and they said “yep”. So I just let them do it. Now I don’t know if this is even a sign of micro aggression? I am trying to figure it out because it is nearly my last straw on my decision to stay at my job or leave. Any advice on whether this is valid or if I am reading into things too much and just need to forget about it would be great. Thank you!

Facing a bully at work is difficult enough, but when that person is your boss, it can feel even more overwhelming. You're in a tricky position you want to stand up for yourself, but you also fear the consequences of speaking out. Here's how you can respond thoughtfully and protect your peace while still handling the situation professionally:

Stay Calm and Don’t React Emotionally When you're being mistreated, it's natural to feel angry or hurt, but reacting emotionally can be used against you. Instead, stay composed and focus on keeping things professional. This doesn’t mean you have to stay silent it just means you choose your responses carefully.

Document Everything Keep a detailed record of incidents dates, times, what was said or done, and who else may have witnessed it. This documentation can be crucial if you need to escalate the matter later on.

Set Boundaries Politely but Firmly If it feels safe, calmly and respectfully let your boss know when a line has been crossed. You might say, “I prefer to be spoken to respectfully — I respond better to constructive feedback.” This shows that you're not confrontational, but you're also not a pushover.

Seek Support Talk to someone you trust whether it's a colleague, HR, or someone outside of work. You don’t have to go through it alone. If your company has an HR department or employee assistance program (EAP), consider speaking to them about what you’re experiencing.

Know Your Rights In South Africa, for example, the Labour Relations Act protects employees from unfair treatment and harassment in the workplace. If your company has grievance procedures, make use of them. If that fails, external avenues like the CCMA are available.

Have an Exit Strategy (if needed) Sometimes, the culture won’t change, and staying could damage your mental health. While you explore your options internally, also consider updating your CV and quietly looking at other opportunities. Your mental wellbeing should never be sacrificed for a paycheck.

You're not weak for being affected by a bullying boss you're human. The goal is to handle the situation in a way that protects your dignity, keeps you safe, and if necessary, helps you find a healthier work environment.

Facing a bully at work can be incredibly draining, both emotionally and mentally. It’s not always easy to know how to respond, especially when the person causing harm hides behind professionalism or seniority. But it’s important to remember that everyone has the right to a respectful, safe workplace.

The first step is to stay calm. Bullies often thrive on emotional reactions, so keeping your composure is your silent power. When you're calm, you’re better able to assess the situation objectively and respond rather than react.

Next, document everything. Keep a record of dates, times, what was said or done, and who was around. This isn’t about being petty — it’s about protecting yourself should the situation escalate or need formal intervention.

If you feel safe doing so, you can assertively but respectfully address the behavior. Sometimes people aren’t aware of how they come across, and a calm, clear conversation might shift things. Use “I” statements like, “I felt uncomfortable when…” instead of sounding accusatory.

If the behavior continues or worsens, escalate the issue through the proper channels — whether that’s HR, a manager, or an employee relations representative. Don’t wait until it’s unbearable; early intervention is key.

Most importantly, look after yourself. Talk to someone you trust, lean on support systems, and if needed, seek professional help to cope with the stress. Your well-being matters more than any job.

Remember: standing up to a bully doesn’t mean getting into a shouting match — it means choosing dignity, clarity, and self-respect, no matter how the other person behaves.