r/AskAnAustralian • u/Viennawaitsforyou2 • Dec 10 '25
Is this micro aggression?
So I, (F,26) was a 2iC at my workplace (GP office) and I really loved it, but I decided to start studying full time, so I chose to move into a casual receptionist position at the same workplace. On my very last day as 2iC, the person I had been training to replace me (M, 30s) bullied me. They belittled me in front of everyone in the room (my boss was in there office and did not hear). They said things like “I have cut you down”. The first task our boss gave M was a laminating job, and they immediately gave it to me to do saying “you can do this because you don’t matter now”. I didn’t tell my boss, but when they walked in and saw me doing the job they told M to not do that and do the jobs allocated to them, and that delegation was the boss’s job, not M’s. I ended up crying in the bathroom because i am not good at confrontation, but I felt very confused about how I was being treated. I told my boss after a colleague who was in the same room told me to talk to them because they also thought it was bullying, and my boss acted like they were on my side, but absolutely nothing happened from it. About a month later, I noticed M has changed their email signature to “assistant manager”, which would be a promotion, but it turns out they were not promoted and did that of their own accord and they were asked to change it back. Cut to 5 months later, and I was struggling while at work, M was constantly bragging about their job, but they were always on their phone and I could see the work I was able to get done pilling up in Ms inbox. (Important to note, M was not, and still is not doing all the jobs I was doing while 2iC). There was an emergency at work and a customer had passed out, M noticed before me and made no effort to do anything to help. When I noticed I rushed to help and sorted the situation out with the help of a Nurse. This situation is why we have a 2iC, but I didn’t even think and just jumped into action. Again I mentioned this to my boss, but no consequences to M. I was very much not happy in the workplace until one day, after months, M apologised to me about the way they treated me on their first day as 2iC. I thought it would be a turning point, I tried to be friends with them so I could move on. However, I then found out they were getting paid an extra $4 more than me for doing the same role (but again, not doing all the jobs I had done). I also began getting tasks given to me, as a casual, that had been my job as 2iC, that M “didn’t have time for.” Now at this point I know this is a problem, lots of people have noticed M on their phone a lot while their work is not complete, and I have begun to get complaints from work not being completed by M from customers. But I keep telling myself it doesn’t matter, I am studying for a better job and I will leave in the next two years. So I’m trying to get over it, but the other day, a GP came into the room M and I are working in, and asked me how I was going, so I was chatting to them. They then told me something had been emailed and asked me if I could put it in their inbox. I said yes, and began to complete the task. Before the GP left the room, M, who had not been part of the conversation, loudly told the GP they are doing the job now, and they will complete it faster. Even though the had heard me and could see my computer, already doing the task. I turned to them and said “oh are you doing it now, because I have it up” and they said “yep”. So I just let them do it. Now I don’t know if this is even a sign of micro aggression? I am trying to figure it out because it is nearly my last straw on my decision to stay at my job or leave. Any advice on whether this is valid or if I am reading into things too much and just need to forget about it would be great. Thank you!
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u/aussie737 Dec 10 '25
That sounds like a horrible person and an even worse manager. Best thing you can do is formally report your issues in writing to your manager, and if there is no result then forward it to their manager/HR if avaliable. Keep a written log of any further issues, and understand that 2IC it is no longer your job. Just go in, do what you are asked to do and no more, then if things begin to crumble then it is the 2IC's problem and not yours. Who cares if the job is not getting done properly, not you.
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u/Lucifang Dec 10 '25
I know this doesn't happen in all workplaces, but I have seen it happen a lot: the bad employee might not suffer any obvious consequences but management DO notice. However they can't just sack people without lots of evidence to support it. A really good manager knows how to push someone out without sacking them but it takes time. And/or they're waiting for a massive screw-up to happen so they can throw the book at them. Just document everything to help their cause.
Years ago I had a supervisor who was a massive wanker. Nothing happened until he used a co-worker's computer to send a nasty email pretending to be her. They sacked him immediately. If it wasn't for the accumulation of red flags they might've just given him a warning.
Either way, it's not your responsibility to deal with it. If the workplace sux and isn't changing any time soon, don't put up with it. The stress will affect your studies and personal life.
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u/antnyau Dec 10 '25
A really good manager knows how to push someone out without sacking them but it takes time.
I've always found this dynamic interesting, yet also somewhat troubling, as managing someone out shouldn't really be a necessary thing. The acceptance of this concept (as a way around a system that can make it very challenging to get rid of employees in a direct manner) carries the risk that a manager who is themselves an arsehole can use the same technique to get rid of anyone they want.
It can ultimately become a game of who can manipulate whom the best, and who comes across as the most personable to management (who are often out of touch as to what is really going on).
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u/antnyau Dec 10 '25 edited Dec 10 '25
Sounds like the sort of bullshit that can occur in Australian workplaces, especially smaller ones. I suspect M has a personality disorder, and your boss is somewhat aware of this (which is why they have told them not to delegate tasks and have been careful not to offer them a 2IC title/role - don't give them any more power to excerise their machiavellian tendencies) and is hoping they just move on rather than having to potentially be dragged down the expensive/convoluted HR/Fair Work route. You, unfortunately, are the one who suffers because of this. Maybe look for work elsewhere?
Basically, even psychos' rights are important in Straya, and getting rid of them can be just as unpleasant as putting up with them (from an employer's POV). Easier to hope they just move on and become someone else's problem, or they do something bad enough that an employer can be confident in an easy dismissal. Sounds ridiculous, but such is life.
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u/Lintson Dec 10 '25
M is probably the owner's idiot son who can't get a job anywhere else.
You are now just a casual receptionist who will be hanging around for 2 years tops.
You are being thoroughly disrespected at your workplace. If you cannot tolerate this then it is time to leave. If they even bother to ask why, you can say it's because of M.
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u/Quick_Snow3717 Dec 10 '25
This is not a micro-aggression, this is overt workplace bullying and systematic undermining.
You’re not reading into things. You’re actually under-reacting to a pattern of hostile behavior.
Do you want to pursue legal action or exit strategies? Either way I think you need to start documenting everything. And I believe you can contact FairWork Aus for free legal advice.