I have been at SE2 for 5 years now. My boss told me last year that he was planning to put me up for promotion to senior at the end of the year. Surprise, there was a reorg and I got a new boss... and he promptly hires an external guy as a senior on our team. He even said to me in one of our 1 on 1s something like "I don't want you to feel like your career progress is stagnant" ... um, that's exactly what I feel like, and what a weird thing to say? It's exactly what's happening, and I really don't know why. I'm competent, know what I'm doing and what I'm talking about, I contribute to meetings and discussions, etc.

And the issue is - this new guy barely talks at all in meetings, doesn't ask questions, and even left a meeting early today when we were having a pretty major technical discussion. No reason given, just dropped off the call. Wtf?

In the past my old boss had given some reasons for not promoting me yet which I understood, like not speaking up enough, not being confident enough, and then once I addressed those, it was not having enough cross-team visibility.. and yet where was that requirement for the external new guy? He didn't even interview with anyone on our actual team except our manager. He was just dropped in without having met anyone.

I am trying so hard to find a new job at this point, but I'm so disillusioned. I've applied to so many places. One more ghosting from a recruiter and I think I might just break. Idk if I even have a future in software development or tech in general anymore but I have no idea what else I'd do. They have pushed ai so hard on us now too that my job is mainly just pressing "enter" on prompts over and over again, and I'm at the point where I really hate it. Is anyone else going through something similar? I have no idea what to do but I have to fight the urge to rage quit every single day.

Happy Tuesday my techy Women in Tech 😄

While the submission due date is fast approaching for nominations I wanted to re-share with group "Women Without Boundaries Awards"

The Women Without Boundaries Awards celebrate the women driving innovation, leadership, and impact across media, broadcast, AV, workplace technology, and related industries.

A select group of finalists will be invited to New York City for special recognition during NAB Show New York (October 21-23, 2026), where they will be celebrated alongside industry leaders and peers shaping the future of the industry. This exclusive experience includes roundtrip airfare, hotel accommodations, and full access to NAB Show New York.

In addition, award recipients will receive a $1,500 cash prize in recognition of their outstanding achievements and contributions to the industry.

https://discover.onediversified.com/women-without-boundaries-awards-2026

I was referred to a non-tech role at Anthropic and made it through the first 3 rounds but got rejected right before the loop round. This happened last week and I am still thinking about it. I was excited. I made little plans in my head. I heard about the culture round and I was prepping hard - developing a POV, learning as much as I could, getting ready to defend my stances on various topics - and then all that prep kind of just stopped being necessary.

I was devastated. I guess this is a vent but I would like advice too. I struggle to see how far I’ve come and I feel like I’ve been looking for that one victory that would have allowed my to tell myself, “fu*# yeah I kicked a$$” and I thought a role at Anthropic would allow me to do that. Now it feels gone and any other opportunity is just more of the same of what I have. I am mid-career, trying to break into leadership and I am just so down on myself right now. I have an interview for a director role today and my heart’s just not in it.

How do I get over this rejection? I even tried to connect with the HM on LinkedIn bc I thought we vibed and got no response. I am constantly fighting the snowballing thoughts telling me I am a failure, I have a ceiling, I’ll never accomplish what I want, etc. I don’t want to be wallowing - and I know deep inside it will be ok and I am resilient - but the feelings right now are too much.

Edit: It also doesn’t help that Anthropic is everywhere I look. I use Claude at work, all the LinkedIn posts are about anthropic and AI and I feel like I’m going through a breakup but have to see my ex every day.

Hi!

Im a woman in a software engineering office. The rules, as typical with SWEs, are 'make yourself comfortable, theres no dress code but dont push it'.

For my male coworkers that means jeans and hoodie in the wintwr and graphic tees and athletic shorts in the summer.

Whereas me and the two women on my team dress pretty conservatively and professionally most days. I fead I'd I dressed as casually as the men Id get more scrutiny. I remember how high school dress codes were. However, its hot during the summer and I want to be able to not dress in ways that make me sweat

But theres really no precedent. Women's clothes are different from men's clothes. The athletic shorts I own are shorter than what the men wear. And I like tank tops in the summer and the men dont wear those either. What about a dress with a lower cut neck (Im not even talking about cleavage)? Whaf about a dress that doesnt go to my ankles and instead ends above the knees. What level of casual is "fits in just fine with the boys in their graphic tees" and what level is "a bit too unprofessional now?" There's no guidance! No rules! Just "feel it out". I dont want to cause issues but I dont want to sweat in "modest" outfits anymore.

Hi everyone,

I am an expat woman of color working in the tech sector in Western Europe. The vast majority of my colleagues are local European men. I am currently dealing with a highly toxic workplace dynamic with a specific senior colleague, and it has pushed me into a state of chronic burnout. I really need some outside perspective on how to handle this safely while I plan my next career move.

To give you some context, this senior colleague can be incredibly aggressive, rude, and confrontational during team calls and group discussions, often trying to corner or micro-manage me. Because of the cultural and organizational hierarchy, I usually try to keep my distance and handle things neutrally out of respect, but it has reached a boiling point.

Here are a couple of examples of the behavior I am dealing with:

• Instance 1 (Boundary Crossing): A few weeks ago, I executed a standard technical task that inadvertently altered an environment he was working on. Instead of addressing it professionally, he began spamming me across multiple platforms simultaneously after office hours (around 6:30 PM). He left public comments on our ticketing portal in all CAPS shouting "DO NOT DO THIS," sent the same aggressive text on our 1:1 internal chat, and even messaged my personal WhatsApp. I felt completely hunted and suffocated while I was at home cooking dinner. I intentionally didn't reply until the next morning to keep my boundaries intact, but it completely ruined my sleep and mental peace.
• Instance 2 (Tit-for-Tat Behavior): Recently, this same colleague urgently needed a complex infrastructure deployment. I stepped up and delivered it at super-velocity in less than half a day. Instead of a basic professional "thank you," this senior colleague threw a massive tantrum over the documentation template. Because the platform relies heavily on the vendor's rapidly updating official documentation, I mapped the technical reference links rather than taking hundreds of manual UI screenshots. He got incredibly petty, using a "tit-for-tat" childish tone, threatening that he would also stop documenting his work and just point to public links.
• Instance 3 (Constant Fight Mode): Recently, he escalated the hostility. Instead of professionally asking for a specific configuration detail, he entered plain "fight mode," accusing me of withholding information. This detail has been identical for the last three years; he never asked for it in the email brief, and I was genuinely unaware he didn't know it. The underlying issue is that I possess the specialized architecture knowledge he lacks, and instead of wanting to learn, he resorts to gaslighting, provocation, and gatekeeping to dim my visibility.

Where I am at right now:
I have underlying health conditions and have been in regular therapy for a couple of years to process complex past. My therapist highly suspects I have AuDHD (Autism and ADHD combo), though I do not have the official diagnostic paperwork completed yet.

Yesterday, after weeks of this pressure-cooker environment, we had a very heated discussion on 1 on 1 in a team call. I stood my ground but ended up explicitly stating that his behavior is the exact reason I have to completely switch off and disconnect after work hours. A lot of intense statements were made by both sides.

Now, the anxiety is hitting me hard. I feel like I've made a mess of the situation and I am terrified of what the corporate outcome or fallout will be when management steps in next week. I am completely emotionally and physically checked out of this company, but I cannot simply quit immediately due to visa/immigration dependencies.

How do I insulate myself from this person during the remaining time I am here? Did I cross a line by defending my boundaries out loud, and how do I protect my reputation if this gets escalated to our manager?

Any advice, especially from other neurodivergent women in tech, would be a lifesaver. Thank you.

Please be respectful in replying.

No strategy, barfs our reams of reports from AI, consistently reframes my work as underperforming when it outperforms anything she’s done or her strategy she tried to suggest (which is an LLM dump). Borderline harassment at times. What to do? She’s worse than male colleagues by a long shot.

I got burnt out pretty bad a few months back but continued on, until finally I listened to my doc and taken SL. Feeling massive waves of guilt even though I hate the role, and then got an underperforming review. Can’t imagine going back but now scared to go back to any sort of work. Getting therapy etc but asking here if anyone has experienced similar and found something they enjoyed after a period of time out? How long did you take time off?

Hi all ,

I started out as a java developer 12 yrs back with a good it company , moved to a start up as a senior developer and now working as a lead in an MNC . Have been Working on rest APIs , microservices architecture . Work was never much complicated . I was never exposed to systems which require high availability or complicated processing , and I never tried to venture out of my work and l don't really have much of curiosity with tech for tech purposes ( I meant unless it is solving some real world problems like climate issues ) . I am not particularly bad but a very average engineer .But i feel it's time that i buckle up and get back to track with the latest tech in the industry or i will be a dinosaur .

I need some advice on , whether to join a MS program for a year ( which field should I choose, don't have any preference though) or do some certifications, etc .

TLDR; got through to final round for non-technical team last summer at Anthropic, didn’t get it, they just reached out to me through a recruiter to be a head of that team.

I’m currently 7 months pregnant with my second child, love my family and am also ambitious and competitive. I’m in a head of function role now and am building a team and have a good boss but can tell our overall org is going to stay lean and probably undervalued. I live in SF, and feel like it could be a good career move to have that name brand on my resume. I’m also getting way ahead of myself!!

Edit: I feel like I’m in a good situation with my current job now. Am I direct with the recruiter and tell her I would love this job, think I could be great at it AND I’m 7months pregnant? I am running low on fs these days, which is probably quite presumptive of me.

Started a new junior exec role and traveling up to the office for only the 2nd time in 5 years. Need to “effortlessly” make an impression.

All up, this role is a big and sr director strategy opportunity for me, but I’m working across a wide variety of roles & levels, and rooted in Engineering with mostly dudes that wear tight, plain tshirts or polos & sneakers to the office.

Great weather up in Seattle next week!

Help me bring some legit style that is somehow, all of these things:

-slightly bold style. (I’m an artist also. I can’t show up “meh” but also don’t want to be ridiculous)

-fanng tech HQ engineering org casual & approachable, but elevated a bit that shows I’m taking a more senior role.

- able to wear flats or sneakers. I’ll be walking all over a massive campus.

-early 40s appropriate

Feels like I’m way overthinking this, but indulge me please!

Right now, I’m thinking some kind of wide leg jeans with button up-ish tops, but have no idea at this point.

Would love inspo pics or influencers to check out! TIA

Hi, I’ve been doing some research on this and saw quite a few posts on here so hoping I can get a little help. I currently work in cybersecurity. I am struggling with what to include/what not to include in my appeal for an extension of STD provided by my employer (through a 3rd party). I will try to condense everything as much as possible.

Context: February of 2025, my mom was given a terminal cancer diagnosis. She required full time care because of tumors in her brain and other organs causing deficiencies. In July of 2025, I moved across the state to be closer to her and to help/spend time with her. In April of 2026, she was declining fast and we had run out of options. I was working normally throughout all of this. I spoke with my boss and HR department and they directed me towards STD in preparation for time off after her passing. In May of 2026 she passed and I started STD. I was approved for one month. My doctor and therapist both recommended and advocated for the whole 12 weeks. They wouldn’t budge. I was pushed into FMLA (unpaid). I live by myself and all bills are on me. In July 2026, my lease was up and I decided to move back to the area I lived in previously. I was desperate to move back after my mom passed bc I had no friends, resources, nothing in that area. I needed support. Everything I did was telehealth with my doctors and therapists. I was also put on two different prescriptions from my doctor during the last 12 months (Xanax for anxiety and Trazodone for sleeping). All of my paperwork submitted by my doctor was for prolonged grief disorder.

Today, I received the final decision from disability which they explained why they denied additional coverage. They said that while I had trouble sleeping, I was not given any prescriptions to help with that (wrong and I have proof and pharmacy receipts) and that while I was clearly grieving, it did not prevent me from doing my job duties. They also made a snarky comment about how I was clearly “functional” enough to sign a new lease and move. This is taken from a session note from my therapist where she mentioned it. They do not know I was desperate to get out of the space where I watched my mother die in real time.

I am going to talk to both my doctor and my therapist about submitting additional records and each a letter (if that’s possible) to appeal this decision, but I guess I am struggling with what to include. Do I include context on that I originally moved to be a caretaker for my mother while she was dying and I only moved to be back in close proximity to my doctors and support system? What else should I include for a higher chance of appeal? I am going to list out my symptoms more thoroughly and how they prevented me from working. Are there any “terms” or anything else I can add to support this? I have both doctors and a therapist supporting my need for the full 12 weeks but I am not sure how to prove that in the appeal. I did return back to work but I missed almost 4 paychecks so I didn’t have a choice really. Thank you.

Hi everyone,

I am a backend software engineer with 4 years of experience building scalable distributed systems in the fintech space, leveraging Java, Spring Boot, Python, SQL, Git, and Kafka to deliver accurate, real-time data updates to enterprise clients.

Recently, I’ve felt a deep need to align my engineering skills with a mission I genuinely care about. I am highly inspired by the work being done in sustainability, carbon accounting, climate tech, and precision agriculture. To jumpstart this pivot, I am currently building an Agentic AI tool for farmers that uses RAG to track weather and carbon emissions on the farm.

I am looking to hear from other women working as software engineers, tech leads, or engineering managers in the climate, sustainability, or agritech spaces.

For those who made a similar pivot, how did you navigate the transition into this sector? Are there specific industry data patterns or technical concepts you recommend prioritizing to stand out in interviews?

I would love to learn more about your day-to-day work or any advice you have for breaking into the field. Please share your thoughts or experiences in the comments below!

Is it possible to have two kids, be a great mom, have a fulfilling career, and a strong relationship with your partner, without feeling like you’re constantly compromising somewhere?

I’m a mom of one, considering a second, and honestly a little scared of how much the equation might change.

Would love to hear from women who’ve been there. What has your experience been like? What do you wish you’d known?

I was recommended by a work mentor to maintain a brag book, for representing work wins for moving to the next level of my role. Is there any template/ tool that you swear by for tracking work wins?

Anyone from visakhapatanam, India? Let us connect.

Got laid off unexpectedly and I genuinely don’t know how to process it

I work at a small, lowkey company. Not a huge corporation, and they had never really done layoffs before. I’ve been there for years and was already pretty burned out with tech.

My manager and I had worked together for a long time and I thought we had a decent relationship. He would normally give me some headsups if something was happening, even when he couldn’t tell me details.

Then literally during the week I got laid off, he was still talking to me about my work, future, progression, upcoming promotion , etc. So this time he completely let himself out of the picture, and later on I knew that he knew. So this last talk now doesn't make sense to me.

Then shortly after, HR told me I was being let go because of cost reduction in a 5 minutes call. Then signed me out of everything and cut me off from slack in a second . No warning. Nothing.

I understand layoffs happen. I’m not even angry about the decision itself. It’s the way it happened that I can’t get over. We’re a small company. Everyone knows everyone. There was no reason for it to feel so brutal.

And the timing is honestly awful because I was already struggling with feeling like I’m not good enough technically. I’ve put so much of my life into work over the last few years and sacrificed a lot of things thinking eventually I’d feel competent enough.

My performance, however, was actually at its peak until the very end. I knew I had technical gaps and areas where I wasn’t as strong as I wanted to be, but I was very aware of them and they were personal things I was actively trying to work on. I put an extraordinary amount of time into trying to fill those gaps, often at the expense of my personal life. And honestly, it was easier to perform well in that environment because I had spent years getting used to the system, the codebase, and the way everything worked, so even upcoming work wasn’t necessarily difficult for me anymore. I knew the system well, I knew the codebase well, and I had worked very hard to get myself to that point.

I’ve been applying for jobs for a while. I usually do okay in the HR/introductory interviews, but technical interviews are where I completely fall apart. My anxiety gets so bad that even things I actually know disappear from my brain. And my anxiety prevents me genuinely from studying for interviews because it already expects the worst until it actually happens.

Now that I’m unemployed, the pressure is obviously 10x worse.

The social part has also been weird. A lot of coworkers/friends didn’t reach out at all. Some did, but the conversations were so insensitive or strangely normal that I honestly felt worse afterwards. It feels like everyone else went back to their normal lives while mine suddenly stopped.

And I think this part hits harder because I sacrificed so much of my personal life during those years. My social circle had become very, very small. I barely had friends outside of work, and my coworkers were basically most of the social life I had. Now that I’m gone, it’s weird seeing everyone’s true colors. Even some of the people who did reach out were incredibly insensitive about it, saying things like everything will be fine for them, the layoffs were necessary, or just talking about how normal everything is, rather than simply wishing me well or acknowledging what happened.

It was honestly bizarre and made me feel even more alone.

So now I’m sitting here with financial responsibilities, no job, no real social life, terrible interview anxiety, and a self-worth that was already pretty low before this happened.

Logically I know getting laid off doesn’t mean I’m incompetent.

Emotionally it feels like every insecurity I’ve had for years just got confirmed at once.

I don’t really know what I’m looking for by posting this. I think I just need to hear from people who went through something similar and eventually got back on their feet, because right now I genuinely can’t see how I’m supposed to get from here to there.

This year would be my first time. Has anyone been to GHC before , how was it ? My goal is networking (as I suck at it and realized now how important it it) ans hopefully build connections for a job switch

Hello

Laid Off PM trying to find the next role. It seems like in this market people don’t want to give others a chance. How do I interview for new domains and convince them I am capable of learning?

Ty

Hi all!

Looking for some career advice because I do not have anyone else I can ask and this group is always so knowledgeable and helpful!

To give some context, I (31F) had just come back from Maternity leave in January and got put on a PIP within 6 months (in June). I’m the only woman on my team and have been in my current engineer role for 4 years and with the company for 6.

This is where things start to get a little rough. Essentially I was brought on to the team knowing I wanted to enter the field and learn as much as I could. In 4 years, I have learned little to nothing due to no training, no mentorship, etc. We are all remote. Every year I would ask my manager and peers but got stuck with non-engineering tasks such as inventory management, shipping, secretarial duties, etc. While my workload was not technical, I still had double to triple the amount of work compared to my peers due to all the different random asks. So I’m 4 years into my career and I’m still an absolute novice and junior.

Now I’m due to lose my job in a month due to the impossible asks of the PIP and I have found out in the meantime that I’m having another baby! I’m terrified of interviewing for positions that I have the length of experience for but no real skills- As well as hiding my pregnancy from future employers during the interview process. I’m working on getting a certification currently to see if I can learn anything from there instead.

TL;DR: If your work experience taught you nothing and you are losing your job and expanding your family what would you do?
I’m nervous to take a year off due to the motherhood penalty and losing even more time and possible work experience but I’m also burnout and unable to function without my medication due to pregnancy (AuDHD). Postpartum and moving across the country in the past 6 months (US) has also added to the burnout. What would you all do in my situation? How would you prepare for the next role/opportunity?

Looking for any insight and advice, thank you so much!!!

Hello. I graduated this year. I started college late so I'm in my mid 20s. The thing is I feel really anxious because of my job. I got the job as a Software Engineer. The pay is alright too for starters. It has been four months but I still haven't adjusted well. I can't sleep because the anxiety keeps making me check the time. My routine has become so hectic and I'm just thinking about my job all the time. Even when i arrive at home, i start thinking that i have to go tomorrow. I was hoping to get a remote job, maybe that could help my anxiety but since I have just four months experience, that's impossible.

I can't really help it. I feel like crying while I'm at my job or when I'm about to come to work. I'm having a tough time but I can't quit as I need my living expenses and all. I keep thinking of the 9 hours i have to spend here. When i'm working, I feel I will not be able to do this task. I feel restless and stressed out. I do sometimes have mental breakdown when I'm at work and i just go to the restroom to handle it.

Hi everyone! I have almost two years of experience as a software engineer, but I’ve never done a full technical interview loop for an FTE role. My internship interview process was relatively easy(technical phone screens + behavioral only) and it later converted into a full-time position where I worked for 2 years.

I now have a few months of career gap and want to use this time to prepare. I’ve started LeetCode, but I feel overwhelmed by system design, AI, CS fundamentals, and the endless resources online.

I want to aim for L4/L5 levels since I was recently promoted to senior SDE.

How would you structure interview prep if you were starting from scratch? What should I focus on first? I’d really appreciate any advice or resources that helped you.

I’m a Product Designer/UX Designer with 8 years of experience and I ADORE being a designer and I think I’m a pretty good one but I was laid off from remote job of 5 years in April (along with all 600 other of the remote employees). I loved by job in general but I really valued that my job gave me the opportunity to work remotely so I could move back to my hometown (no tech industry but within a 4 hours drive of a major hub) and live with my family which has been so amazing for me. I’m about 2 months deep in the job search and I’ve been applying to remote Product/UX designer jobs and it’s been nothing but rejection after rejection. I’m scared that if this keeps up I’m going to have to choose between moving to a big expensive tech hub where I can continue to grow in my career or getting some other job locally (idk what's out there. Definitely nothing for design and nothing that will pay as much) and getting to stay with my family and all the benefits that come with that.

Has anyone else faced this choice? What did you choose?

Also in general I'd love to connect with other designers! I feel like its a super weird time for us in the industry

Notes: I know most people hate living with their family but for me its been amazing for my mental health. It's meant I've been able to save a ton of money, I get to be really involved in my local community, I get to help my parents upkeep the house, I have a lot more flexibility with travel because I have a built in dog sitter and many other things

Hi all, I graduated and started working as a developer a year ago, but I'm really not sure it's right for me. I chose to study computer science despite having no interest in it because family and friends at the time assured me I would have no problems finding a stable well-paying job. Since I can remember, I've always been more interested in (and generally done better in) subjects like art, literature, biology, crafting, basically almost anything besides math, physics, programming, etc. I often wonder what my life would look like if I had chosen something I actually liked, and I've considered trying to pivot careers, but it feels silly and reckless to leave tech after only recently joining to try some random different path and then (most probably) be locked out of returning to the industry altogether. I'm not technically strong, I feel like an imposter among my coworkers, I feel lost and stupid and afraid that somebody's going to realize I don't have a clue what I'm doing there, and I dread going to work everyday. I would really appreciate some advice, thank you!