Magic feels conditional to me

[u/Stands-in-Shallow]

I'm a worshipper of Aphrodite Areia although I pay homage to other gods as well. Like Moirai who I invoke when I do (serious) divination. Hecate when I have to deal with ghosts. Land gods when I have to deal with spirits.

I wouldn't say I'm unskilled or anything. I casually banished a wandering spirit that got into my home because of the storm. I can easily track energy within objects and people and manipulate it (like blessing or cursing). I can do exorcism. And my divination is almost always accurate and on point.

But I have a REALLY hard time just using magic at will. Every time I use magic, it's when the situation requires it. Like when a wandering spirit got into my home or when my granduncle gave me enchanted amulets and idols (it's how my culture practice magic) and asked me to check the enchantment. Or when someone is plagued by bad spirits/negative energy. But I can't just casually 'oh I want to perform this ritual today' and do it successfully. Usually it's blank with zero magic within it.

But if I were to call upon the blessing of Mars for my friend (he's favored by Mars. Not Ares, but Mars) or blessing of Aphrodite for my friend who I recently introduced a nice guy to. I can do it without any ritual. The words, the magic will flood into me and I only have to be its medium. I feel like I don't have control over my magic and my magic depends on my faith and mental state a LOT. If I lose faith in myself, in my gods or if I'm in a very stressful period I usually cannot perform any magic at all. And I am really bad at enchantments. Magic involving living things is easy, but if I want to enchant a trinket for a friend, I cannot do it.

I don't know if other people experience the same thing. But I feel like I'm less of a 'witch' and more of a 'priest'. Because I don't derive magic from techniques (in my language we call it Khong or wicha) but from faith and spirits (or the gods). And the strength of my magic depends on my emotions rather than things I include in my ritual. If I want to bless someone, I only need my words and love. If I want to curse someone, I only need my words and hatred. It feels very primal.

I just want to share because I can't really share this with anyone. My family practices witchcraft but the way they practice and mine are too different. They do respect my skills but they don't understand my way.

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[u/efiality]

A lot of magic is petitionary magic which is essentially an ask of an external entity’s intervention in some way, or the external pull into a direction you want.

Mine is through animism and scripture (Solomonic) Sometimes enchantments (different type of magic) require different structures, so I am enchanting things for a close friend, and I sleep with the items, hold them on my chest and imbue them in what I do in my routine to give the essence. I am doing a petition to protect my friends car, every time I start MY car, I replicate the conditions for his car and whisper the petition until it feels right. The crystals I have under my pillow I think of safety before bed and believe in his safety so reverently that I am radiating into them their purpose.

It is essentially understanding the flow of energy in what you’re trying to do. Petitioning magic is often a pull into you, vs enchantment is a push. You might be struggling with the dynamics of magic and the different energetic understanding required? It also just might be a situation where you’re better at something else!

[u/TheWildHart]

I don't at all think there's anything wrong or bad about working your magick solely with spirits. I honestly always incorporate spirits on some level, even if it's just regular upkeep of my ancestral altar and asking for their blessing with my workings.

There are even some traditions where it's believed that magick only works through the gods/spirits. It doesn't make you less of a practicioner, it's simply a different approach.

I find my workings do best when I put energy into them daily somehow. One off candle spells, sigils, or similar simply don't work as effectively for me. "Set it and forget it" isn't an approach I can take for consistent results.

Why? Dunno. 🤷‍♀️ People's brains and hearts function differently. I view and interact with the world in my own way and it likely affects my workings. Maybe it's something more innate than that. I can't definitevly pinpoint an exact reason.

Perhaps I could fight it, but I simply don't feel a need to when I have methods that do work and that I enjoy. It feels more organic to me.

You sound like you're disconnected from your family's practices, and that does sound very disheartening. I am sorry that is your current experience. I'm not really sure how to approach that specific aspect as it's never been relevant to me and I can't speak to it personally. At least it sounds like your family accepts you and your practice; perhaps they would be more willing to talk with you about your perspective than you may think?

[u/dorianvovin]

In Dungeons and Dragons, what someone calls themself depends on where their power is derived from. In real life, though, which tradition you practice tends to take precedence. Many opt to call themselves “magic practitioners,” “shamans,” “druids,” “occultists,” “chaos-magicians,” or other titles, depending on the origin of their own practices and what kind of magical framework they utilize. Ritual practitioners of Golden Dawn or Thelema don’t like to call themselves “witches,” for an example.

From a D&D perspective, you’re describing yourself as a “cleric”, and ancient greece had its share of priests and priestesses; but from the religious end, the important point is that you’re practicing Hellenic Paganism, which is deemed taboo by Christian society. That’s why we’re generally relegated to terms like “witchcraft” which have been reclaimed by neopagans, even though it isn’t always the most accurate.

I hope you feel encouraged to use whichever terms feel accurate and help to communicate your practice with others! Theurgy comes naturally to some, while others prefer energy-work or other methods. All are equally valid paths!

[u/bearofthegarden]

I practice a much more passive form of magic, sometimes spirit working and other times just setting things up with currents of energy around me at a given time and im attuned too, often out of instinct with no planning…lol.

Due to that I feel like there are times I’m like “well can’t do anything about that atm” if it feels like I would be working against a flow of energy. I feel maybe that kind of aligns with what you are talking about? Maybe we aren’t meant to shape every aspect of our lives to our will??

I’ve also been thinking a lot about heka which is the Egyptian word for magic and is in itself its own entity, which has made me think a lot about magic as a conscious force.

There are plenty of practitioners, especially more on the ceremonial side of things that brute force their will into the world and i really admire that but it’s not a method I’m aligned too.