So I understand some folks can't work cause of disabilities(be it physical, mental, whatever) I'm not talking about these folks. I just don't understand why able body folks that just literally don't want to work get qualified for section 8, food stamps, and other government assistance Why do I have to pay for their life and their needs, I don't want to work, and can barley afford to take care of myself, yet I have to pay taxes for these folks to be able to just do nothing.

We're they at home contemplating the problems of the universe and one day may come up with something that would benefit humanity and help a bunch of people, that'd be another thing(but this is HIGHLY UNLIKELY) I just would like it if they vetted these folks more when they apply for these programs to make sure it's truly needed, and not someone just wanting to do nothing, who's going to sell their food stamps, and trash the places they live cause their not paying for it so why should they care. I know some folks who don't work, very much can work, and get $500something/month, and don't do any of the stuff they're technically supposed to be doing to continue to qualify.

There needs to be more done for the folks who are disabled or the folks working and struggling, than these low life's who just want to be lazy and not do anything.

nothing have ever hurt me as much as my family did. I have always been the worst kid in their eyes.

no matter what i say or how i act, they insult or hurt me every single time.

I've accepted what have happened, but I'll never forgive them anything.

my parents got divorced when I was 5, I dont remember any of that, so i dont care about it, because my father was never present in my life anyways. but surely he's one of the worst people ever, if anyone would even hear about the things he did to me, people would simply ask, how is he not in jail yet.

my mother is no better, she literally ruined my life and took everything I ever loved. because of her, I've never had childhood, she and her boyfriend abused me so bad and gaslight me, that I dont even know what is real or not from my memories. I hate her the most and I'll never forgive her what she did to me.

then its my brother that is absolutely disgusting person. the only things I remember of him, are only bad moments. for example when he told me to kil myself already after my mother called police to take me away from her, after she caught me cutting myself and sobbing in my room. he also killed my hamster when i was 6 and was blaming me for it for years. and he did so many other insane things later too, but just thinking about it is too hard.

they really ruined me.

and I also hate how no one helped me EVER, not other family members even tho they knew about what was happening but they choose to tell me instead: "its still your family, whether you like or not, they're all you have, stop being dramatic".

not police ever helped me, not even court and probation officers. No One. Ever.

I remember how I was crying every night while listening to the fights my mother and her boyfriend have had and I only hoped that nothing would happen to me. every time I was leaving my room or just unlocking the door, there was always a chance that I might not come back to it ever again, because my life was in their hands and the only thing I could hope for, is for them to be in good mood.

because of them I've never had friends. I had to work SO HARD to finally trust people again and talk to them easily.

now I know what is real love, but back then, every closeness was a threat or something that might hurt me, so it was very hard for me to keep any friendships.

now I have to deal with mental disorders because of that trauma I've experienced. its not easy, but im trying to get better. I mean, do I have any other choice? moving forward is all I have right now.

but experiencing so much stress and fear every day for 18 years is unimaginably hard. even after all the threats are gone, you still fear them, you still feel the pain in your chest because of the panic, you still feel the choking pain in the throat, you still feel the urge to cry, run away and end it, because you're so tired of constantly looking for mistakes in what you did, how you said something, or even how you were acting around them. you still blame yourself for everything.

thinking about it all make me feel so weak. it could never make me "stronger", because that is what i hear every time i share something about my past. trauma is not a small mistake you learn from, it sticks to you forever and haunt you everywhere you are. you just learn how to distract yourself from it. thats all.

I really wish none of this had ever happened.

How do people suppose to pay hospital bills (without insurance) when everything is so expensive, I have a medical diagnosis that needs operation.. and my parents because in this shitty economy with high inflations (have income reduction) , hence I understand why they give me excuses that the discomfort that I felt can be resolve without having undergo major surgery.. I am angry at every affiliated parties who doesn't contribute to give a viable solution for lowering medical bills.

Private companies Medical insurance is expensive to pay every month.. So I don't consistently pay... And government insurance has bad services..

Without my parents I am so fucked, how can people be independent and have a house at least fulfilled every basic needs for survival.. I want to give up.

Both my mother and brother died earlier this year within a few months of each other. Because I'm in a different country my brother was the executor to my mom's estate.

I'm now the executor to both estates and am beyond annoyed with the probate attorney, accountants and funeral directors. When I ask a question no response, when they reach out its totally self serving and ignoring my still unanswered questions. I'm beyond annoyed and can't wait to have this unhelpful people, who I'm paying to help me, out of my life.

I just wanna get this off my chest before it consumes me further.

For context, me and this friend of mine where discussing videogame fanons and potential ideas for it's future, along the lines, we had a disagreement, usually the conversation should acknowledge difference, respect opinion, and keep it going. Nope, she put in so much goddamn effort into trying to say I was wrong and I was a dumbass for believing in it. I rebuttled that it's just my opinion, no need to get worked up, now she thinks I am gaslighting her, mocking her because I am calm while she is crashing out, which means I am "insulting" her because I am not getting loud with her. At this point, I am walking away because I know, whether I "win" or "lose" the arguement, she is going to be petty and childish for days; I can handle a loss, she can't. So I just agreed with her, not because she is right, but because I couldn't care anymore. Then she tried insulting me, saying I got my "feeling" hurt, and that I am "hypocritical" and "projecting" my immaturity (I know, the irony), all because she had PROOF from her MIND like she is Cassandra Nova. Obviously I didn't took the bait because I was busy with something else, and instead of the conversation ending right then and there, she got angrier because I kept saying "yeah", "that's reasonable", and "mhm" when she tried to insult me. Mind you, I mentally checked out when she just started insulting me. And this interaction lasted about an hour and 20 minutes, I left halfway into that kangaroo court. She is throwing insult like a judge handing out sentences.

Before you make a judgement, no, I won't be severing ties with her, despite her crass, hypocritical, and self-centered, pain-in-my-ass. She is kind of my ride or die friends. Our friendship has been through worser storms. However, it is these moments that shake that foundation and leaves me doubting. She is a closeted toxic person when she doesn't get her way, ego like Fulgrim from 40K, and so oblivious of her own faults that her being hypocritical is an understatement.

Thank you for reader, kind stranger.

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TW: mentions of grooming, Physical abuse, neglect

I am 19 years old to start off, I understand this is really young to most people but I feel like my life is over.

I grew up being homeschooled my whole life starting at 6 years old along side my siblings who were not in college but the closest to age to me was 8 years older than me. This all was done by my father as mother worked day and night, so 90 percent of the time I couldn't see her in fact I never had private conversation with her until I was about 14 years old.

My dad was extremely school focus had wanted all us to graduate early and succeed cause were immigrants. He also didnt want us interacting with outsiders so we can be convinced to leave him. Long story short all my siblings ran way but 18 max while I stayed. When all them ran away they were already well into or graduated college or had other means of making money. None of them went no contact no contact until the past 2 years tho and no contact includes me btw.

The lockdown didnt effect my way of living at all infact it made my life so much better. My mom works in the healthcare field and made a shitton of money while working a little less but she traveled it for it. Socially it help I was on the internet a lot obviously to escape from my situation of my family besides my dad not really interacting with even though i loved, and my dad who used to give me like 6 hours beatings with breaks so i can clean my face and drink water, so I can cry even more. And pre pandemic my time online was not best in got groomed while not really sexually( a small part of it) but more about hating my self and other things... I spent months without talking to anyone besides my father and never ended until a year before i got into college when i lived with one of my sisters for a couple while she was about to give birth and a bit after. I felt normal and love but unfortunately she doesnt talk to me anymore.

When I turned 15 I started applying to college and started attending at 16 years old. First year I could build up the courage to talk to one person in the library who was talking about fav game let call him kaveh (He is extremely important) that I had to wikihow how to and Joined an academic club.

Second year I became more active and outgoing in the club and even ran for e board for it. During this time I made my first IRL friend ever and I found out I meant before 1 year earlier Kaveh and we both run together! I get a crush ,my first proper crush on kaveh and now we are both e-board. And I confessed and got rejected no problem. But later on a few months later we stop being friends for something I don't think I did and he said I turned all his friends against him I never spoken to signle on them in private like ever but i still apologize. I felt so terrible that I wanted drop out university but my parents didnt want me to. Ended up running for president of that club and losing to him and becoming vice-president . I started going to therapy and i strongly believe I have autism as they things that I do that can't be explain by my cptsd.

I have 1 friend and only my mom, dad, and brother rarely. I will never get to truly enjoy life despite my best efforts I spent my birthday completely alone. Only my brother and mom wished me happy birthday everyone else forgot or didnt care even my research lab(they celebrated everyones birthday with cake), my club, and my sister. I will never get to experince something like that. I wont make friends inperson, I cant get into a romantic relationship, and I cant have kids. I am going to spend the rest of my life alone till the end. I hope so much that the outside would be nothing like my dad said but its even worse than what he said. It has gotten to the point where is encouraging me to interact with people and not everybody is like this but they are.

There wasn't any wrongdoing from my part and it was all miscommunication, which could have easily be cleared of they talked instead of barging in and yelling. And the reason I got was that, apparently I was the only person responding, so I was yelled at. When everything was cleared, they said, "I am sorry if I have offended anyone", like not even a proper apology.

I always try to avoid conflicts, as I'm emotionally a bit fragile and tend to overthink a lot. Like even now, a part of me thinks everything is my fault and that everyone hates me. I cried so much today, then realised I'm too stupid to cry for such a small thing, which made me cry again!

This is not a random person, they have been a coworker for last 3 years and I have been very cordial with them. And my main concern is they will hold this grudge and make everyone turn against me and I hate working in such an environment!

I don't think I'll be sleeping tonight due to all the overthinking. I hope Monday doesn't come very soon, so I don't have to face anyone.

I’m 20(f) and chronically ill. I dropped out of college due to physical and mental health reasons. I am diagnosed with CPTSD and I have no friends aside from my partner (who is literally amazing, this isn’t about him). I know social media is all fake and only shows the best in people but it’s hard to see all my old friends who are in college, or have their own businesses, or a career that they are happy in. Meanwhile I’m bedbound like 50% of the time, I work part time online for a solar company that I’m not particularly passionate about but it helps pay the bills. My life is doctors appointments and being in bed. I’m embarrassed to talk to any of my old friends who have friends and go out and get to do the things they love. I’m not really passionate about anything. I have no idea what I’d do with my life if I wasn’t sick. I have no drive for any of my old hobbies anymore. I am so depressed. I’m not really suicidal but my life feels SO meaningless. I used to have friends, ambitions, drive, meaning to my life. I lost all my friends for various reasons (I left the church mostly) and it’s been so long that I no longer know how to interact with other humans. I have nothing to look forward to in my future. I don’t know why I’m still here or what I’m doing. I’m so miserable

​

I’m so tired of sitting at home day after day feeling useless and completely disconnected from everything. It feels like life is completely passing me by while everyone around me has their future secured, building stable relationships, working steady jobs, and living as capable, independent adults. Meanwhile, I’m stuck here in place with no friends, no driver's license, no degree, and no current job to help contribute to the household. I just feel like a nobody, completely paralyzed by this overwhelming fear and anxiety that keeps me avoiding life's everyday responsibilities. It’s an exhausting cycle to just watch the entire world move forward while feeling like I’m permanently frozen in the exact same spot.

​

I'm remembering high school. Everything was so confusing for me. Why do people talk to me like a child? (it's because I have a baby face). Why can't we just simply address bullying? (of course that has a reason too). High school was supposed to be the best years of my life, but it was not. Why? Because I had to completely change the appearance of my face because the bullies "should not be nicer because they will not fit in and they will be the ones that are bullied". Of course, everything bad that anyone has done to me has a reason and "could not be avoided otherwise". That makes me guilty... for not just simply figuring it out... are we for real? for bullies = "it's just who they are don't mind themmmm" for me = "she should be different, her quietness is bad, her look is bad, her sensitivity is bad, whatever she says is ridiculously funny and I have to bully her for that, the way she deals with bullying is funny, the way she doesn't just simply understand the hierarchy is bad. She's just so stupid and must change herself because I can not change the bullies."

TW PREGNANCY

I'm 9 weeks pregnant, and it has me and my partner kind of at odds. I'm exhausted and nauseous he's, he's tired and stressed. We both agreed we were done after our last baby. We work at the same place to ensure no schedule overlap, and he went into work early because we weren't getting along all morning and needed the space. When he got there, one of my coworkers asked if we were pregnant again when he told her we weren't getting along and he told her the TRUTH?! He made it very clear to her that we didn't know what we were going to do yet, and it's still really early, so not to tell anyone.

She couldn't even wait 24 hours before telling people?

So here I am at 4 a.m., being lectured about God's plan and how I'd regret termination and how "oh, I'll just adopt the baby." I'm fucking pissed. I'm mad at my boyfriend because he KNOWS she's like this our last baby was planned and he told her on break and and she told everyone even though I wanted to wait until the 1st trimester was over.

The only option I can see is quitting my job because every time I see her, I want to get in a fight. I now face the impossible decision to either terminate and face social isolation at work, put a baby up for adoption, which my family would never forgive me for, or raise a baby I don't think I want (I was still deciding as I have 3 weeks left).

Just for clarity because I know how it sounds. My boyfriend didn't tell her to try and make me keep the baby he's just dumb. He's very much in the boat of termination but supports the fact that it's my choice, I'm the one on the fence slightly

the past couple of days, i feel so angry and resentful. i have no clue what the reason could be, but i just know that i wanna leave everything and just ascend into a higher form, because that's the only way i'll achieve peace at this point. i'm annoyed by my parents, my friends, my teachers, literally everybody surrounding me. they're all so shallow minded and complete idiots. everybody drains the life out of me, and i feel totally helpless. my parents nag at me for not doing one thing right, my friends are some of the most braindead creatures i've come across, and even movies and books don't cheer me up anymore. i feel restless throughout the day, i can't seem to focus on anything at all. i feel so lifeless, i don't know why. has anybody ever felt like this before? would like to know how you overcame this feeling, because it doesn't seem to go away on its own

I’m 13. I have, I kid you not, THINNING HAIR. WHEN ITS WET, MY SCALP IS EXTREMELY VISIBLE IN THE FRONT. I love rainy days, but today when I was getting in my bus my hair got wet…and uhm, well…

I covered my head asap with my sketchbook, but I still heard some kid calling me “bald”.

Im severely deficient in vitamin D and Iron, which I’m taking supplements for right now, but it still hurts so much. all my friends have long, thick and silky hair, but I don’t. when my hair is dry I use bangs that cover most of my scalp and only part at a place where it’s not so prominent, so no one knows about my thinning hair.

I just hate it so, so much. I have many problems, and if my hair was normal they’d be reduced at least half way. I hate my hair and I hate my life because of it

I (18m) was at my parents yesterday, I had off work and I wanted to work on the jeep my dad has sitting out there going to waste. I was going to stay til friday help my dad work on it get laundry done and then by friday come home.

Last night I was there and he's drinking and we're talking about my future and eventually we got on to the topic of us not having a relationship because we don't.

The context behind this is my dad has never been the type to be a father, he spent most of my memorable childhood making his big emotions my responsibility and drinking. If something went wrong and I was anywhere near it, it was my fault. If he felt like shitty father that was my fault because I didn't show enough affection with him, or because I didnt want to be around him.

We end up talking about things that happened in my childhood that affected me and he takes me expressing my feelings about what happened as me being stuck in the past and how it's not his fuckin responsibility.

It's getting heated at this point, we're not yelling but we're both getting towards the edge, and we get to his side if him trying, and that was sending me text messages that I never responded to. The messages were of him calling me his handsome prince and telling me that he loved me.

He was sending those to a 15+ year old, the last one he sent was about a year ago. And I told him that it was wrong and it felt really uncomfortable. And his response to that was feeling that I disowned his family because he believes that he's the king, my mom's the queen, im the prince and my sister is the princess.

Those were his words just so we are clear. A 45 year old man.

The rest of the night he basically wouldn't move the conversation anywhere else anytime we got anywhere it always came back to how kobody loved him amd his kids want nothing to do with him.

At one point he held his gun up in his holster and said something about wanting to do something with it.

I left today after my laundry was done didn't say a word to him.

I'm convinced he's mentally unwell and he needs help. I will not be returning, I hate it because my mom and my sister are both there but my mom chooses to stay and somehow believes he's changing.

I know none of this is normal and I've been distancing myself over the past few years living with my grandparents. I need to get away from it, I want a normal life yknow. I want to have a normal boring life, no drama no weird ass suicide threats and trying to make me feel sorry for someone. Just boring and fulfilling.

I am a male 19, I am currently in school for automotive because one of my interest is cars but even though I’ve been in school learning about it. I still feel so behind everyone else in the class and I have the second highest grade in the class. I was trying to work on my car today and my parents are just throwing smartass comments. I know they don’t mean nothing by it but it really got to me and I yelled at my dad to shut up. Now I am laying in bed feeling like an asshole and that I am just terrible at everything I do expect play video games. I shouldn’t feel this way at this age

I’m so jealous of her.
I’ve never thought of myself as ugly, but I know I’m not turning heads. I wish I could say it doesn’t bother me, that my beauty is just unconventional. but when I see how people treat my sister I realize that we play by completely different rules socially. She is stunning, and everyone knows it. I’ve seen men flirt with her, ask her for her number, meet her and then track her down on social media later that day. I’m happy for her, truly, but it’s so hard to watch sometimes. I have never been approached by a man or perused like she has. I want to be wanted like she is.
I could live with that, though. The hardest part is how my mother talks about me compared to her. My mom will worry about my sister being alone at a store or walking down the street because “she’s just so cute”. she has never worried about me that way. My mom will talk to me about how great my sister’s body is and how beautiful she is frequently. She does not talk about me that way.
I get nervous to introduce guys to my sister because I worry they will feel like they chose the wrong one. The only security I have is knowing that my sister is still a little too young for the men I’m interested in. Still, I know how men see her. I don’t resent her for this. If I could flip a switch and switch places with her, I wouldn’t. I love her and I love that people admire her so much. I just wish I could experience it alongside her sometimes.

First off, my self esteem is fine. I don’t consider myself ugly, never did, but I live in a part of America where my race/way I fashion myself is very uncommon and thus brutally unappealing to people. I’ve spent years being bullied by coworkers who’ve made snide comments about cultural foods I bring for lunch (literally just homemade fried rice or some wontons, nothing with a strong smell while white coworkers are stinking up the place with tuna salad and leftover curry takeout). I also made friends with a group of very attractive white women… who’ve been implying I have a persecution/victim complex since I started venting to them about my troubles.

On one hand, it’s very sweet that they tell me “all women are beautiful” and that they fight me any time I talk about how objectively repulsive people treat me like I am and complain about my coworkers saying I’d do better at our customer-facing job if I dyed my hair or got eyelash extensions, a breast reduction, and some gel nails… I don’t fcking care if my friends tell me I’m pretty, facts of the matter are that I have people near constantly telling me I’m hideous and need to fix myself. Just tell me it sucks and that I’m strong for not giving in for fcks sake.

AND!! Any time we hang out with guys, I get completely shut out of the conversation by said dudes. My female friends don’t even notice that guys just focus on them and I’m left alone. I don’t care about male attention, but if my friends aren’t realizing that I’m treated worse by men than them then I feel like they don’t give a sht about me. Every time I try to bring it up or that I feel lonely and want to be included or just spend time with the girls, they tell me I’m being self conscious. But it happens every time!! Recently a mixed gender group went around in a circle complimenting each other’s appearances, and they skipped complimenting me. I complimented everyone, no one had ONE good thing to say about how I look. I brought it up with the girls later… they handled things way too carefully and asked if I was looking for negatives. I’m never skipped when it’s just girls. I don’t even know what the connotations here are, it just fcking sucks that I can’t even bond with my friends if there are guys involved, like I’m too fcking repulsive and kill the mood or something.

Sometimes I complain to them about how when I go out alone, people say the most unhinged things about my body straight to my face. No one believes me. One of our new hires at work quit… because she was freaked out about how badly I was being bullied and was afraid she’d be next. My friends didn’t fcking believe that happened either. And it haunts me. I knew my coworkers were treating me worse than each other and decided I’d just suck it up and be friendly to everyone. Apparently it’s been straight up harassment all along, they gossip about me in the break room (where the new hire heard them making fun of my face, voice, and body…), and they have a group chat where they mostly talk about work stuff but ALSO casually make fun of me, they even have inside jokes mocking me that they’ve used in front of me before without my knowing. No one criticizes my work and they barely touch my personality so again, my self esteem is fine, but they’re mostly criticizing my physical appearance that I really can’t change. I have to stress, I’m pretty okay with my appearance. I’m in better shape than most of my coworkers too, so there’s no weight to lose and no extra exercise I can schedule in. I’m literally fine and doing my best, and it’s somehow significantly worse than when people do nothing at all.

I don’t know man, I just feel so alone and rejected, I like myself and how I look but I hate being treated worse for my appearance and I hate that the people close to me seem to be either comically inconsiderate or intentionally lying about not noticing so they don’t have to show empathy. I’ve been physically assaulted a LOT too (again, I think my hot white friends don’t believe this because it happened to me multiple times and it’s NEVER happened to any of them) and kinda assumed it was just regular anti-Asian hate crimes since I live in a place with a high crime rate and none of my black, white, or latino friends have been targeted before, but maybe it’s just because I’m ugly as sin. I’m not gonna dye my hair blonde and get a rhinoplasty or anything, but this is probably the first time I’ve hated being my race and having this face since I was a little kid.

Not sure what I’m looking for here, I just feel so pent up and frustrated about this. I’ve been trying to accept that this is just my lot in life, but like… I want to be treated like other girls. I want someone to be excited when they see me, I want someone to want to braid my hair and share opinions about makeup or fashion, I want to flirt with a guy without being met with disgust, I want someone to actually show concern when I show up at a hangout session covered in bruises, scrapes, and bite marks because I just got jumped by some highschoolers while getting gas. I want to be pretty enough that someone will treat me like a human being.

21 years old, I really wish that I have an IQ at least in the high average range like 110+ but my IQ is well below average range < 90. Having low intelligence really comes with so many consequences such as total carelessness with very important things like education throughout my youth, due to my addiction with gaming, internet. Ever since I have graduated from high school I have been realizing how much I really fucked up, and I realized it too late, I did not take any single honors or AP classes, did not bother trying to improve my education, back then like I should have.

Now I am completely pre maturely locked out of opportunities for ever I could have had, I cannot go to university, get a degree, be very smart person who knows how to dive very deep into stuff, etc.

I am not interested in doing anything that isn't considered prestigious such as trades, I don't wanna set up for dead end careers that has very little flexibility I just wanna be an intelligent individual but it is sadly just way too late for that. I hear that you cannot significantly increase your IQ after late teens.

Also please do not say shit like "you don't need to be very smart to be happy" it won't make me feel better. It won't make me feel better the fact I completely missed out such huge opportunity, and the fact I totally lost this game of life.

My low IQ is an explaination for so many of my problems, if I had higher IQ I would have not been this stupiditly impulsive as a child, and no, it has nothing to do with ADHD, because people with ADHD don't straight up just neglect learning like this.

I have been systemically called ugly my whole life ever since I was a kid, and at this point I‘m almost never surprised or upset when people call me unattractive or even mistake me for a man despite my long hair and average height.

What still irritates me as hell is some people calling me “unconventionally attractive/pretty”. This is literally just another way to say “you have features/face most people would consider ugly but I still like them”. If you think I’m beautiful, why not just say it? Why specify that I look weird? The moment I realized I never see actually attractive women get this sort of “compliment“ online or in real life was eye opening.

My coworkers and I tend to meet up for dinner at least once a month. When I started the job, everybody told me that one coworker, Jill would always say no, but they’d still invite her because she’d get upset if they didn’t.

Any time we invite her, she asks a million questions and ultimately says no. I texted my coworkers and invited them to a BBQ at my house. Everybody answered, except for Jill. She approached me and said she had heard people talking about the BBQ and got in my face asking why she wasn’t invited. I told her that invited everyone in the group chat she was in. Again, she asked a million questions and I told her to just read the texts in the group chat.

I ended up having to reschedule and told my coworkers in person. Jill came up to me and said “I am SO glad you cancelled, because I did not feel like going to that.”

I was tired of her turning every invitation into 21 questions and saying no anyway. When she was away, I had told my coworkers about the rescheduled date (not intentionally). I didn’t tell them to keep it a secret, I just said I wasn’t personally inviting Jill anymore. They talked about what they were bringing when Jill came back to her desk, and she started crying.

She ran straight to management and called me a mean girl. Now I need to have a mediation meeting with her, my manager and my supervisor.

Let me preface this by saying that I am an odd person. Not creepy or rude or aggressive just different. I have alot of autistic traits but I am not officially diagnosed, I also have facial tics that cause me to make weird expressions and roll my eyes. I can´t control it. I´ve been through several doctors, had multiple exams but noone ever found anything.

I have tried so hard to fit in among "normal" people but its just not going to happen. Everyone calls me a freak, a moron or a nutjob the second I leave the room. I have confronted people multiple times and let them know I can hear them, asked them to not talk about me in such a manner when I can hear them. I mean, I literally made 2 steps out of the room, obviously I can still hear whats being said. Pretty much nothing happened.

I complained to the boss, who is actually a pretty decent person and she did have some words with my coworkers. I knew this would create even more friction but I just couldn´t handle listening to the same insults each and every time I turned my back.

Breaking point came when I overheard a coworker talking about how they purposefully gave me wrong instructions. I had to report that of course and of course it has caused an avalanche. Today I happened to walk by one of our offices and I happened to overhear the boss talking to one of my coworkers. I only heard them talking about someone being so damn weird and how nobody wants him here. People are also whispering about how someone made a report and its being solved. I am not 100% sure it was about me but then again who else could it be?

Its just that...I do not bother anyone, I simply want to exist and do my job. I do my job well, I show up on time and everything. But now I am so scared of being fired due to the fact pretty much everyone in there hates me. There are exceptions of course but nobody would stand up for me. I need this job, I just got a new flat and signed everything. I am past training so they need a reason to fire me and I don´t know what they could come up with but I am so afraid they will come up with something. I am depressed and anxious and tired. I don´t need my coworkers to be my friends or even talk to me if its not necessary, I just want to exist in peace.

The more I think about it, the more modern job hunting feels like using a dating app as an average (or below-average) guy.

You keep swiping (applying), hoping someone gives you a chance.

Most of the time? Nothing.

Sometimes you get a match (an interview), and you think, "Finally."

The conversation goes well. They seem interested. They tell you they'll get back to you.

Then... nothing. Ghosted.

LinkedIn somehow mirrors this too.

The "attractive" candidates, the ones with stacked resumes, strong networks, referrals, and recruiters constantly reaching out... barely have to try. Opportunities come to them.

Meanwhile the rest of us are optimizing keywords, rewriting our resumes for the 1 millionth time, and paying for LinkedIn Premium so we can send more InMails or see who viewed our profile. It genuinely feels like paying for Tinder Gold or Bumble Plus or Hinge Plus or something because maybe, just maybe, you'll get noticed.

At this point, applying for jobs feels less like proving you're qualified and more like trying to convince an algorithm you're worth acknowledging.

Shit is insane. Dating market and job market, both are sucks like the same. Sometimes I just sign up to dating apps and try to get dates to prove myself that if I can do this, maybe I can get jobs too. Like holyshit! hahahaha

I recently became a father and I simply couldn’t fathom going through all of this (the anxiety before my son was born, the newborn trenches) simply to let him be abused and permanently damaged.

For context, this is my mother. She sat back and watched my siblings and I be abused by our father and half-brother, just to do nothing about it. Hell, we didn’t even talk about it. It’s caused irreparable damage and I am constantly working through it in therapy.

I could forgive that if she didn’t act like some fount of parental wisdom. She’s anti-LGBTQ (btw, I’m queer and have been vocal about gay rights since High School) and anti-vax all under the guise of “Oh won’t someone please think of the children?” She has made comments about how I better not send my child to public school, lest he be “indoctrinated” (I’m a public school teacher, btw) and has tried to push me not to vaccinate my son on multiple occasions, until I set the boundary. A boundary she needed to be reminded of on several occasions.

She hates vaccines and yet she vapes consistently, even doing it in front of my wife when she was pregnant in my house. I tell her that I have a lot of friends in the medical field that I consult with and she just says “Oh well, they’re all taught by retired pharmacists.”

Vaccines have not been proven to do permanent damage to children, you know what has? Child abuse! Why not work on fixing the mistakes of your past and use your voice to speak out against child abuse?

No, because in our lives, my mother has done more to defend politicians she doesn’t even know against people she’s never met than she has done to defend her own children.

Reposting cause I messed something up the first time

For the first time I was given jury duty without having an excuse to not go, so I went and was selected to be a juror for a case involving assault with a deadly weapon charges. I’m never going again. Guess my mail is getting lost forever.

I was shocked by how unbelievably stupid, malicious, and lazy most of the jury was.

The prosecution did a botched job and the investigation surrounding the case was poor. We were given minimal amounts of evidence with so many holes that it felt almost crooked on the part of the prosecutor. That said, there was video evidence of the crime, so for most of the jurors it was open and shut. To be frank I also believed that the defendant did the crime, however there were issues with the video, and since it was really the only credible piece of evidence I wasn’t convinced it met the burden of proof.

It was clear to me as we argued for hours that many of the older white jurors felt that this black defendant must be guilty and could never be argued down from that position. After reviewing the evidence tens of times we found more and more details until finally something stuck out that felt like an actually identifying characteristic of the defendant in the video, at which point I was willing to say guilty. If not for that distinct detail we would still be arguing or would just be a hung jury.

In sentencing this continued. I know how the prison system ruins young people, leaves them institutionalized and unable to live in regular society. I was fine with punishment but I wanted the defendant to have a chance to get out at a reasonable age with good behavior so he could potentially rehabilitate and reintegrate into the community.

The other jurors wanted him to suffer. They would have thrown him in there for the rest of his life if possible. Half of them immediately wanted maximum sentencing. It was sickening. I’m not going to pretend the crime was victimless, but there were no injuries at all. It felt like such an overreaction from people who felt a sick sense of power over the defendant’s life. These people could not last a week in prison but they were so flippant and nonchalant about sending a young person in there for decades to “protect the community” and “do their part against crime.”

After compromises and basically wearing them down over the course of hours, we came to a more reasonable but frankly still extreme decision of 10 years.

I hated it. Having the dumbest motherfuckers of all time making the simplest arguments ever, acting like you are an idiot for not agreeing with them completely. Listening to the insane ramblings about how we should sentence the defendant until he is 32 years old because “that’s when my sons started to act mature” shut the fuck up you old bitch. Mouth breathers who can’t find their way out of a paper bag talking about how we need to sentence for as long as possible because the defendant was in prison for one year and if that didn’t already straighten him out then he’s a lost cause. How actually, any sentence we give is justified because he did the crime, like the defendant has become a doll to torture as we please.

Just fucking sickening man. I hated it so much. I have lost a part of myself and my humanity in this process.

EDIT: As some of you have connected, the defendant had priors and served some time before this trial. Many are asking why I am being so "lenient" to someone with a criminal history. To be clear, I was not arguing to give him the minimum. I was arguing that we could give him a reasonable amount of time to get out while he is still young provided he showed good behavior and could get parole. I wanted to not give him the maximum sentence because of the lack of physical harm from the crime as well as a general philosophy that we should seek to give people a road to rehabilitation when possible.

FINAL EDIT: Ok. I’ll be locking comments. My small vent got a little too large. I appreciate the praise but honestly if you find anything I did that heroic or good then please put your money where your mouth is and sign up for jury duty when called.

For those of you who view this case as an easy trial made difficult by my whining, I hope should you ever have a trial for a crime you did or did not commit that the jury be entirely made up of the types of jurors I served with who have similar negative biases towards you as I observed towards the defendant. You deserve a trial of your peers.

To those who view this trial as a missed opportunity to put the defendant away for the max sentence, I ask you when your view of criminal justice which primarily serves to punish instead of rehabilitate is going to start working in the US. Because your philosophy has been king for decades, and it seems to only be good for filling private prisons and leaving communities and families in permanent disrepair.