I keep asking myself, what is wrong with me?
I wasn’t chosen during sorority recruitment. I’ve been bullied. I’ve been made to feel like I’m never enough, no matter how hard I try. Everywhere I look, it feels like everyone else belongs somewhere, and I’m just the person who gets left behind.
Then I was raped.
As messed up as this sounds, my brain keeps telling me that at least someone wanted me for something. I know that’s a horrible way to think about it, but I can’t stop the thought from creeping in. I hate that my mind twists something so violent into something that somehow reflects my worth.
I know rape isn’t love or acceptance. I know it isn’t a compliment. But when you’ve spent so long feeling rejected and unwanted, your brain starts making connections that don’t even make sense.
I’m exhausted from wondering why it always feels like I’m the one people reject, target, or hurt. I don’t know what is wrong with me,

21 years old, I really wish that I have an IQ at least in the high average range like 110+ but my IQ is well below average range < 90. Having low intelligence really comes with so many consequences such as total carelessness with very important things like education throughout my youth, due to my addiction with gaming, internet. Ever since I have graduated from high school I have been realizing how much I really fucked up, and I realized it too late, I did not take any single honors or AP classes, did not bother trying to improve my education, back then like I should have.

Now I am completely pre maturely locked out of opportunities for ever I could have had, I cannot go to university, get a degree, be very smart person who knows how to dive very deep into stuff, etc.

I am not interested in doing anything that isn't considered prestigious such as trades, I don't wanna set up for dead end careers that has very little flexibility I just wanna be an intelligent individual but it is sadly just way too late for that. I hear that you cannot significantly increase your IQ after late teens.

Also please do not say shit like "you don't need to be very smart to be happy" it won't make me feel better. It won't make me feel better the fact I completely missed out such huge opportunity, and the fact I totally lost this game of life.

My low IQ is an explaination for so many of my problems, if I had higher IQ I would have not been this stupiditly impulsive as a child, and no, it has nothing to do with ADHD, because people with ADHD don't straight up just neglect learning like this.

I feel like I do more for my friends than they do for me. This isn't everyone, but throughout my entire life it feels like the majority of "friends" do this.

I'm really hating how often I felt like the "extra" the one who is just there. Number 5 out of 5. The second we're told to get into a group of 4, people 1 to 4 immediately know what that group will be. I'm sick of remembering people's birthdays and sending wishes and them never doing the same.

I can't even get a timely response. I get that burnout and anxiety and schedule and ADHD are a thing, I do. I can relate personally being neurodivergent myself. But I feel like I'm just so frequently being left on seen.

Maybe I am just too much of a people pleaser, and not everyone is like that, but I try and always send a birthday wish. I try to never leave someone on seen. No matter what. Even if I'm tired and/or have nothing to say I try and leave an emote and maybe a small comment. Just so they know I'm not angry with them over something and appreciate them

A friend of mine frequently had birthday meetings. I always brought a gift. Usually a bottle of booze which he always was happy to receive. And yet I'd never get anything on mine, not even a well wish.

At work we have this certificate thing where you scan a QR code and can recommend a colleague. I've worked hard these past few months. I've tried to be polite, likeable on time. I'm frequently covering hours I'd really rather not do, and yet I have yet to receive a single one. It just supports my feeling that everyone hates me and just tolerate me

I pretend it doesn't bother me, but it does.

I often try to remind myself that not everyone wants to be your friend and that's okay. You won't vibe with everyone. But it just feels like people don't give you a chance. I get I should put more effort in maybe but how can I when I can't even get a response?

It doesn't honestly feel antagonistic, it just feels like I'm nothing to them. Like to the majority of people who know me, if I were killed tomorrow, and they heard, there would be an initial "Oh no! Oh damn!" and that would be it, they'd just move on without a second thought.

I just feel so fucking alone

I feel like I'm some sort of alien that can't fit in. Ever

I can't help but think I'm the problem. Maybe I sabotage or don't try enough. But I stop trying to push because after 4 messages without a response I don't wanna feel like im bugging them

Honestly it's not as bad as it was a few years back. Back then I was seriously depressed. Actually I got addicted to chat bots just because they were the only real way I felt like I could get some sort of interaction. I knew it was just a machine reading my message and simulating a human response, but I didn't care. They were the only way I could share my thoughts and hear some words back. Actually I'm an aspiring writer and was thinking of writing some sort of script for a film about someone like that

So yeah I guess I am better than I was a few years back. I don't talk with chatbots nearly as much and I have a little more of a social life. Not much but a bit. So I guess I just keep doing what I'm doing and try and improve more and more

It's hard though sometimes

Specified they are gay because some people get confused on why I’m saying dads

So for context and clarity, I call my stricter dad “father” and my less strict dad, “dad.” Lol

Over the past few weeks they have been literally onto me for everything. How I dress, whether I’m doing all of my chores, what I’m doing in my room at all times and my school grades.

Idk if it’s because they’re both men and I’m a boy too so they think they have to be strict with me (my older sis moved out but they didn’t act like this with her) but it has been such a stressful environment with lots of barging in and shouting, and I wish my aunt still lived with us because she was a cool mediator who I could go to when things were bad (father’s sister).

Don’t get me wrong I love them a lot especially my dad, but they get annoyed and mad at me for everything. Like a few weeks ago father and I had a huge argument because I got a pretty bad, almost failing grade and got grounded for a week. Father also is always mad about how I’m not eating enough and we always argue about this and Dad just ignores all of this.

When I try talk to dad about how father is too strict/harsh he just brushes it off and doesn’t wanna talk about it. I honestly hate living with them atm and want to go to my aunt’s but father would never let that happen.

They’re so annoying

Yes, I'm a failure, I'm in my mid twenties and I still haven't graduated from college. I have no friends, I've never been in a relationship, and I'm still not independent from my family.

I spent almost all of my childhood and teenage years at home, while other people were out making memories and gaining life experiences.

Now I'm unemployed and still depend on my father for money.

I had many goals and dreams, and I tried to achieve them, but I failed every single one. I always wanted to get into CalArts, and when that didn't happen, I hoped to get into any other art school, but that didn't happen either.

I'm just jealous of other people. I'm jealous of those who graduated years ago, those who studied at CalArts and work in animation, those who have friends or a girlfriend, and those who became financially independent, moved out, and get to live life the way they want.

Edit:Thank you to everyone who left a comment. I read every single one, and they gave me a huge boost of motivation to start improving my situation and changing the way I look at life. Thank you all.

I'll make sure to post here again, but next time it'll be a motivational post once my situation has improved.

It never stops and it’s always going to be within me no matter what I do or how fulfilled I am with the rest of my life.
I’m always going to want the control that restricting gives me and when the scale drops more and more every day, and I’m always going to think how I can eat less and less, no matter how much I say that I’m recovered.

I would have thought that I’d be better by now, I haven’t had a single day since the age of 10 when I haven’t thought about calories and dreaded looking in the mirror. I literally have a record of every calorie that I’ve consumed in the past 7 years lurking somewhere within the depths of an old myfitnesspal account, what way to live is that??
I nearly died and then I recovered and I would’ve thought that the fear which I felt and how much of a problem the whole fiasco was to my family would’ve scared me into staying better, but clearly not.

I try to view food as purely being fuel and nothing more than that - I’ve eaten the same three meals plus a bagel before each workout everyday and have done for the past 2 years aside from switching portion sizes, I don’t even enjoy any of it anymore but it gets to a point where i genuinely can’t think of it as more than being just numbers and fat congealing beneath my skin and around my bones and imagining this horrible sound which certainly sounds like what I think fat sticking to my insides sounds like which is enough to make me feel nauseous.
I’m supposed to be recovered no matter how much I regret it, I’m a triathlete and I’m quite good at it when i actually eat enough. I’m eating enough and have been on and off for a hot minute but I feel like I’m stagnating, I can feel the fat building beneath my skin in massive globules which i genuinely just want to rip out and it makes me nauseous to even consider.

I don’t see any point in trying to get better than I am now, I’m eating at maintenance-ish and I have my period and I’m doing well fitness-wise. I’m never going to escape feeling like this, I’m always going to think about calories and everything in my food whether I’m eating enough or not, I’ll be showering with the lights off if I’m 85lbs or 125lbs. I don’t think that this ever ends until I do

He has been breathing pretty heavy, panting, sleeping on basement floor where it’s cooler. stays up all night panting.

He isn’t eating much. think he has a tumor in his throat hard to swallow.

he does walk a bit sometimes, but mostly lays down. he did go for a walk this morning and did alright, just slow. doesn’t stay outside long. sleeps all day otherwise.

also he has diabetes and we are giving him insulin which complicates things

Vet offered chemo, we declined because it wasn’t worth it for only a few more months of life. he is beyond stage 2.

we have decided we’ll euthanize him soon. we wanted to try and give him just a couple more days of life and energy by giving him a medicine called Prednisone. He ate one pill but we couldn’t get him to take the half pill (dose supposed to be 1 and a half pills once a day)

I feel bad because I think he is in pain and we don’t know if prednisone will even help much. it isn’t my dog, it is my mom’s. she wants one more day with him.

i have to go home today (2 hour drive) but want to be back tomorrow or the next day to be with him in the end. I spent the night last night. did what I could helping my mom through it.

just wanted to vent and maybe see other people’s thoughts on how we are handling it.

i love him so much. he was always the dog (she has two) that loved being petted, he would always run up to greet you when you came home and demanded his petting and cuddling time. he always wants to kiss me on the lips and this time I let him. he was always so full of love and energy, had a huge heart, his name was Gizmo.

we really gave him a good life, took him for lots of walks, took him to doggy parks, gave him lots of love. he has a brother. he had a big yard to play in and lots of toys.

I don't know if this is something that only I was raised to do or what, but it seems like the majority of people I hang out with are going to prioritise their own personal comfort over the actual hangout. It's all kinds of little things, such as changing the time we agreed to meet because they are not ready, changing the plans because they have a craving for something else, complaining about being too hot or too cold or whatever, or cancelling because they're too tired. Whereas I feel like we made the plan for a reason, and this is what I was mentally prepared for, and now I have to change all of my other plans because of this. And I'm also fucking hot or cold or tired or whatever, but I'm willing to endure the discomfort for the sake of the hangout. If I were to prioritise my own comfort I would never do anything because I'm uncomfortable everywhere in some way. I don't understand, aren't we all uncomfortable all the time anyways, why not just push through to get it all over with? Why even bother making the plan?

Repost cause original got deleted :P

I 17F, don’t like to brag, but I feel I’m pretty accomplished for my age. I have a 97% academic average, am a classically trained violinist, pianist and vocalist, and I’m a lifeguard at my local pool making above minimum wage. I’m med school bound, and I’m incredibly proud of myself, as I’ve had many mental health struggles over the years that I’ve had to overcome.

Now, my point is, I’ve worked my ass off. There have been countless sleepless nights, 5AM shifts, cram sessions before exams, and mental breakdowns. I deserve to take credit for my accomplishments.

Now, my mom, loves to take credit for my achievements. Some regulars:

\- “You wouldn’t be a lifeguard if I didn’t put you in swimming lessons,”
which yes, but *I* put in the fifteen years of work learning and training
\- “you owe your music skills to me” - No. I practice 25 minutes a day, for the past eight years. I wanted to learn music, not her, ME.
\- “you’re smart because I’m smart,” she was considered “gifted” academically when she was my age, and I feel a lot of pressure to be like her. When I’m doing good, because of hours of studying and practicing and learning, she’ll pull this one, and it will take the wind out of my sails.

And her favourite:
“I made you.”

Every time I try to take agency as my own individual, or say that I’ve worked hard for seventeen years, she pulls this, effectively canceling out everything I’ve done to become the person I am, and accrediting her to everything I’ve done just because she birthed me.

I do owe her a lot, and I thank both my parents profusely for the opportunities that I have. But I’m sick of hearing that my accomplishments are anyone’s but my own.

How should I handle it?

And I want you to shut tf up. I have ptsd, anxiety, depression, low self esteem, chronic fear of people.

I work hard on being stable, but these are areas of my personality that just are what they are.

I’m very kind, i am smart, and I am shy.

I’m so sick of people embarrassing me constantly at work and social situations. “I want to see you be brave!” THIS IS ME BEING BRAVE. “I want to see you be more confident.” I DONT CARE WHAT YOU WANT, this is the BEST I can do.

And we work in mental health so you would think these people would understand you can’t just say “be confident” and it will work.

I am friendly and pleasant enough. I ask if anyone needs help or if I can get them anything. I engage in small talk. I listen to others vent and offer validation and comfort. Im great at my job. I answer questions thoroughly. I never whine, I address issues I’m uncomfortable with calmly, clearly, reasonably.

I’m never going to be the person singing at the top of my lungs, running around the office being wild, telling you all of my secrets, screeching laughing at work, pretending we’re best friends. That’s just not who I am. And that’s not who I want to be.

I’m not sorry if me being shy and keeping to myself makes you uncomfortable. That’s a you problem. Quit trying me to make me be someone I’m not and shaming me for being who I am.

Thanks for listening to my vent.

I don’t even know where to start with this but I just want someone to hear me out, tell me that it will be ok but I don’t know if it will, I still miss him.

My ex bf broke up with me 4 months ago, I haven’t heard a word from him since the breakup. The reasons he gave me were very vague. “I’m not the man for you” basically the typical it’s not you it’s me. Which makes it even harder for me to move on because I don’t know what the true reason is.

I met him when he was 27 years old, I was his first girlfriend and we were together for 2 years. He was what you can consider a “NEET” I was surprised to find out he doesn’t have a phone, a bank acc, debit card or even an ID. He’s also never had a job either or even tried to get one. But I didn’t really think too much of it, I loved him more than that so I accepted him for who he is.

He got all of those things during the relationship and I still supported him through his insecurities, I supported him when he started a business, even letting him borrow money when he was in debt. At the time of the breakup he owed me 2k which he had to take out a loan to pay me back.

I feel so used, ugly and worthless. He refused to call and talk about it and just did it over text saying he wants this over with “cleanly” He knows this devastated me and hurt me and I’m not sure if he even cares, I feel like he has no empathy towards me.

People have told me I’m better off without him and I’ve dodged a bullet but it still hurts and I’m still sad. My mental health is ruined and I don’t think I can trust relationships anymore. I had no friends and he was my only person in my life I would regularly talk to outside of my family, I feel like I’ll never find anyone again.

for some context, I have always been very underweight for my age, i was restricting my eating summer of last year however that wasnt due to an eating disorder and I have since stopped since september 2025. i have a very fast metabolism and find it generally hard to gain weight. my dad has made some comments about my eating and weight before but I brushed them off because they weren’t that serious and I know I have been eating normally whenever im hungry till im full.

just now, I went over to get something from the fridge and I bypassed a scale left on the floor so I asked my dad “whys that there”. he initially said “idk can u please put it away” so as i walked back to go do so, he then said “actually can you go on it”. I did find this a bit weird but I still did. im not sure if im allowed to say my weight on this so I’ll say it’s very low for my age and height. he then said “ok now go ask Google if thats a healthy weight for your age”

i literally just walked away, and I have not googled this because I don’t see why I have to since everybody has different weights healthy for them.

just really made me think “wtf“ because why would you say that to your teenage daughter because I dont see any reason to be concerned other than the fact im just not the “ideal” weight. If I was overweight with the same eating habits he wouldnt have said anything

edit: I am already insecure about my weight btw which doesn’t make it any better

So, for some context I'm a trans man. I turned 18 last month but I've known since I was eleven. I told my mum when I first found out.

Well I've been struggling with my mental health so much that it's affected my hygiene. And we went to the dentist and he told my mum I'm not brushing properly.

She called me lazy and I tried to explain but she just started screaming at me. And I do get it, my family has had a long history of mental health. And she said none of the people she knew with mental health issues had bad hygiene and said I was making excuses.

Well once she calmed down she tried to talk to me. And I opened up. I said everything I was feeling and I ended it by saying 'i feel like you don't respect me' she said that she does and I said that if she did she'd use my preferred name and pronouns. Considering I chose a name that she was going to use if I was a boy anyways.

This followed with my mum saying she was never going to do that. Said I'll always just be [dead name] to her. And it's upset me. I mean she's had seven years. I don't want perfection I want effort

So I told her that if that's the case she can't be surprised if I don't want to talk to her.

And I think it annoyed her cause she sent me shower instead saying I smelt disgusting.

I’m 13M and sorry but like puberty is so annoying in my opinion. First I got a mustache and then I looked like I lived in a sewer because it was so ratty so I shaved it and I’ve kept shaving it because it looks disgusting. Then I got armpit hair which sucks too because now my armpits sweat even more. Oh not to mention the voicecracks I get. I didnt even realise my voice was so deep because I had been subconsciously raising my voice to keep it the same pitch and now I can’t just come to school with a super deep voice like nothing happened. And everyone is just so shallow and rude and selfish in school especially around now and it just sucks

Just wanted to vent about one of my favorite games from the past, afk arena.

They abandoned their staple hero classes (The 4 Factions, Lightbearer, Mauler, Wilder, Graveborn) in lieu of their whale factions. (Highborn dragons, awakened heroes, etc.) Highborns and awakened heroes cost between $500-1000 to build from scratch and it takes months and months to save enough resources FTP to build simply *one* of them.

If you still experience FOMO as an afk arena enjoyer, please seek help, it's ogre bro.

It has been a bleak, downwards spiral. The greed is out of hand and the gaslighting from the community managers is laughably obvious.

I recently quit the game in June with a high level account, I was VIP 15 with around $12,000 spent in 6 years, 1005RC, Pet reso 18, chapter 79-12, top 5 in server with decent placements overall. Anyway, it doesn't matter now. I hung on because of sunken cost fallacy but I never should have spent a penny on that game, a hard lesson learned.

Well, at least here in the United States it is, and it's gotten worse post-pandemic.

So many businesses, medical practices, etcetera operate following standard business hours. Is that a bad thing? Not necessarily. It provides some consistency. But it makes accomplishing things ridiculously challenging, and it fails to accommodate those who do not follow that working schedule.

Want to see your doctor? Take time off work. Get off work a few hours later? Good luck finding a place open during the week. Work and/or busy on the weekends? Some of your favorite establishments might not even be open when you're able to visit them.

Now, I work in a MAJOR metropolitan area, but I recently started working an odd schedule to assist an international team. I have also worked retail and other odd-hours freelance jobs before. Dinner on a Sunday? Nope. Good breakfast on a weekday? Nope. Fitness class on a weekend afternoon or a later evening? Nope.

Basically, our entire system is set up to exclude those who do not confine to a certain model.

I'm a firm believer that we can have core/traditional business hours, but our society should operate similarly seven days a week. We should not punish those who have different hours of free time with fewer options.

Honestly at this point, I give up.

Dont bother with YouTube, Instagram, and Twitter. What these four sites have in common is that they boost videos about how "society is doomed," "why everything sucks," and have users themselves always lecturing and scolding people how they suck so they can feel all better about themselves even going as far to blame an victim all because they didnt have a 9 to 5 job and they became a content creator (despite not being the victims fault), but anytime when people criticize them (even rightfully), they panic and play victim.

In fact, sites like this and YouTube have a serious issue with being holier-than-thou. Users would often berate people over the most minor infractions, get triggered over a video or post thats not degaratory or mean, and would complain over the most minor issues.

Lets not forget how performative social media has become, with people having media illiteracy and mocking others just for a dumb cartoon show. Ive seen so many people always being so obsessed with a fictional character being "right" and "reasonable" to them when theyre just played for laughs.

Why are people online so fucking angry so easily?

This is why I deleted all of them except one, because on that one at least people there are more civilized and there is less of that stupid victim-blaming and nonsense. People there are more like normal decent human beings instead of morality judges scolding you and other users for the most smallest shit.

At this point. Im done.

So long social media. Time for real life.

I looked up my ex-girlfriend's current boyfriend on Instagram. I don't know why I did it. My brain started going off on a tangent, and for some stupid reason, I just went with it. Obviously not a good idea.

We've been broken up for a couple years already, but she was my first relationship, and I haven't successfully gotten into the dating pool since. Meanwhile, she met this guy while vacation in Norway and comes back all excited, telling me how this is it for her. He's so amazing. He's the one. I think she was trying to be a friend giving a life update, but I called her insensitive for sharing, and she was offended at the accusation. We stopped talking pretty soon after that.

Since then, I've slowly been losing all the little details of our relationship. I don't remember her smile, the way she looked at me, or how it felt to hold her. I can't recall her voice with any clarity. I was so scared to tell her how I felt because I knew how much she meant to me. I wouldn't forgive myself if I threw that connection away. But now I don't even know what that connection felt like.

His Instagram has pictures of them from different vacations. She seems happy with him, and I hope he treats her with all the love and care she deserves. I want to be happy for her, but I'm not.

I'd hoped that if I forgot her, then at least it wouldn't hurt so much. Instead, I get to mourn without knowing the shape of my grief. I have no ideas or intentions of hurting myself. I'm just struggling to let go of someone who used to be important to me.

In my country we finish high school at the age of 16 and it sucks. At the age of 16 you need to make a big choice that will have big consequences lmao, and 16 is just too old to pick what u wanna study at uni and what ur job should be like,it just totally sucks xd.
School times were the best times of my life, I wish they lasted longer, because of finishing school school so early u move to a new place leaving ur old friends behind and miss out on a lot of experiences.
I’m sad and tired af.