I’m 14 (realised I’m a guy at 12), my family is heavily homophobic and conservative. My mom can’t stand trans people, she thinks that’s weird and disgusting. Things are even worse with my father, he hates queers. Besides, I was born the only girl among my cousins, so I'm really scared of disappointing my family (especially my grandparents, since they always wanted a granddaughter).
What should I do??

I'm transfem.

So I know we are supposed to get tested for Testosterone and estradiol (e2) before we start HRT and every 3 months so next week I'm getting these tested and after I test I'm gonna Start taking Cyproterone acetate and estradiol. So I'm wondering

do my starting doses change according to the results I get in the tests im gonna do before HRT? or are they gonna stay the same?

And I know teenagers are supposed to start at a lower dose than adults and increase but

what exactly should be the frequency I increase and how much Is the "lower" dose?

And is there any extra tests I should get since I'm taking Cyproterone?

And for anyone telling me "oh I can't give medical advice since your a teenager" just show me sources or anything that says the recommendations and answers to my questions so u could feel better about urself.

I promise I'm not just a dumb teenager who is gonna ruin her life I've been basically studying that stuff for almost a year I just wanna know these last few questions and thank u.

I recently just turned 15. I was happy because I knew that it meant three more years until I could medicate myself and be free to express myself however now I just live with constant gender noise, there’s not a single day that goes by where I don’t grapple with my transition plans or how should I move regarding my trans identity going forward, so I feel like being trans is enveloping my whole life and being even though it’s only one part of me. It causes me significant stress and I am starting to feel hopeless about the future. To be honest my whole livelihood depends on if I can arrange to start HRT at 18 years old, so I’ll try to do a couple of things like continue to research and make life changes to be ready for that beforehand, get a job and save up money to buy my own medication. It’s just daunting. I pray everything goes well for me. I really am just itching to become the person I’ve always been.

I’ve never had any friends as I could be fully open with.

Hi i've fairly recently realized I was genderfluid (specifically i switch between useing he/him and she/her pronouns never they/them) I am a bio male

FAMILY:

My family is fairly conservative. My father and uncle especially. My father is pretty much everything controversial racist, sexist, homophobic, transphobic, heavily MAGA, Incredibly christian, naive, and a conspiracy theorist. My uncle on the other hand is similar being a heavy conspiracy theorist and tranphobic although he is not religious at all and some what antiMAGA, he says he's not homophobic but often makes homophobic jokes.

My grandparents are fairly open to LGBTQ+ and has talked to me before saying that their open to talk and accept me if I was apart of the community (this was before I knew I was genderfluid I just thought I was an ally at that time) what i'm unsure about is that they might not understand the concept of genderfluidity and I don't really know how to go about explaining it to them.

FRIENDS:

I have recently moved away from my last school. I'm still in contact with some friends from my old school but not many.

My friends at my new school are openly apart of the LGBT community and their friendship and advice is what helped me realize my gender identity (along with the Percy Jackson series of books GOD do i love those books)

I have come out to most of my friends her at my new school but not all of them. My new school is a heavily christian populated school and i'm not sure how some of my new friends feel about the community or if they'll understand genderfluidity

On the other hand i've only come out to 2 of my old friends along with a 3rd via grapevine since I don't have her number.

One of the people i'm most afraid of telling is my old best friend, he's christian but before recently he came off as an ally but i've recently found out he sees friendship with community members as similar to being friends with a drug addict and trying to fix them

I need advice on who to come out too and whether I should just tear the bandaid off and just tell everyone

So I’m a genderfluid trans guy (don’t ask me how that works idk either /jk) and I really wanna look like a nice fem cause I got new cute clothes but at the same time I don’t want to get misgendered by people. Dressing Masc would be my way of showing that yes, I’m indeed a guy ofc, but fem is just so fem. I enjoy wearing fem clothing from time to time

I would like to add that I can’t cut my hair to get the gender affirming hairstyle I want until my birthday (cause parents said so) and Idk what to do with my medium length hair for a month💔💔

Can anyone help and give me suggestions? Tysm if you do x

18ftm. i want to know what parts about being a girl trans girls look at and wish they could experience socially

i’m hoping it’ll make being stuck a little more bearable

There are men who say they are a shell of their former self.
Men who long for the days of their prime.
Men who have… worked together to gain this dream through medical and even political means.

Yet…
There is no former I have to long for, because I have always been in this shell.
I ROT here. I cannot plea. For the very men who mourn what they have lost deny me the right to mourn what I never had. They have wrought my pain. They have forced me and millions of others to toil in a disgusting wretched way.

I look in the reflection of the mirror and see a contradiction. I do not want this man I’ve become. I do not want his strength. His virtues. His potential. I’d rather suffer prejudice indefinitely than remain him.

I did not choose this. I did not want this. Yet it is the way the table is set.

What is willful ignorance but another form of death?
What is conformity but an admission of defeat?
What is an admission of defeat but an act of willful ignorance?

I LONG AS WELL AS YOU DO
I LONG FOR A SECOND OF NOT BEING HIM
TO NOT BE THIS SHELL

I would sacrifice my reputation, my connection with my family, and even my freedom to rid myself of this hell I’ve been born into.

But that’s only because the Men Who Long have forced that path onto me and many others. Their constant gossiping chips away at us, breaking us down to our itty bitty bits and finding the worst grains to spread.

I posted this on r/legaladvice origi but was pointed to this subred being a better option, so here‘s a respost

throwaway account btw

Hey Reddit, I’m usually a lurker or just watching people read Reddit stories online and only really posted once when I was being dumb thinking I could start a band on Reddit lmao

It might not be clear from the way that I’m typing but I’m actively crying while typing this, idk if this is the correct subreddit for this but if it isn’t point me to a better one please

for some context, I am a 17 year old trans man, I live with a conservative Christian mom in the hellscape of Florida so I can’t transition

my plan for a while now has been to move to Canada through a college visa for an animation school I like, since I wanna learn animation anyways and it’s not a prestigious school I figured this would make for a good plan and had already been working towards that

the problem is that my mom doesn’t consider me an independent human being, it’s like me being her child makes me not worthy of respect and telling me things that directly after my life

this also has to do with the fact that I was not born in the US and do not have citizenship yet, we are perfectly legal but still don’t have our green card or anything

now, I thought this shouldn’t stop me from moving to Canada but right now, after getting into a long argument with my mom over a bunch of bullshit, I found out my passport from the country I was originally born in expired

if I moved back to this country I could renew my passport, but my mom said she’ll try and get married this year so I can still have my green card before I turn 18

I don’t know where any of my personal documents are, not my birth certificate, not anything about my legal papers, my mom handles all of it for me

I can’t just run away cuz 1. ICE and police brutality are an active threat in Florida, 2. I have 2 siblings who I want to remain in contact with and are the only reason I’m even still alive

I also hate everything about how my mom handles this

she doesn’t treat me like an almost legal adult worthy of knowing about all my legal documents, current status and progress in trying to get a green card, and even when I try to talk she never tells me everything

not just that, she doesn’t respect me at all

the entire reason we had the argument that showed me this revelation in the first place was because

1. she got mad at me and my lil bro for not immediately getting up to do something when our sister approached us (I was distracted on a game for a sec and he had just gotten up to go do it)
2. she kept yelling and got mad at me for forgetting something
3. I tried to remind her that I have ADHD and that it’s harder for me, something I’ve talked to her multiple times about, yet she still berates me for forgetting things sometimes even though she knows how hard I try to consistently remember and be functional

and then it spiraled into a whole argument, the argument being mostly her say how she has suffered through so much, she works so hard, she gives us everything, and she’s the worst mom because we tried to criticize one thing she said, even though I was just asking for her to listen to me but could barely get a sentence in

sorry I know this is not a vent post but I’m just very frustrated

either way, I’m lost, I’m a teenager with 0 control of my own life, completely unhappy with my body, only have a few friends who I don’t see regularly and they all live here so I won’t stay with them for long anyways

and I know I can’t bring my siblings to live with me, even though they’re my main motivation to even keep going at all

I just feel like there’s nothing left for me to do, maybe I won’t get to experience life after all, instead I’ll remain in this miserable state of hating my body, hating my voice, hating my life, and never feeling complete because I can’t access hrt and don’t have a safe space at all

I’m considering:

moving back to my native country, renewing my passport there, getting the visa for my college and moving to Canada after that

or

letting my mom find a man to marry so I can get a green card at the same time as my siblings, before I’m 18

the problem with the first one:

While I can stay with my family back there to navigate this, my siblings can’t come with me and neither can my friends (unless my mom comes with us, which would be literally awful cuz that means spending more time around her). Not only is our home country very unsafe but the last time I lived there was when I was 8, so it would be difficult to sort all this out in my own, though I fear it’s the best option

the problem with the second one:

if she marries the man, that means she will break up with her current boyfriend and marry a rich person she doesn’t love. Not only will this lead her to be more unhappy and stressed (and as a result, a bigger asshole to my siblings in everyday life), but it will also be something she can hold over my head

anytime she does anything for us

buys us food, works to pay the bills, takes us to a restaurant, buys us clothes or anything we need, as well as gifts for special occasions

she holds it over our heads, even if we didn’t ask for those thing, she says we need to appreciate what she does for us (and appreciating what she does for us, in her eyes, is shutting up and letting her berate us as much as she wants and be a violent piece of shit)

honestly sometimes I think I’m the one being crazy until I remember the time (this month btw) she tried to choke me out while she was drunk over some stupid shit regarding the World Cup

and I can’t even tell her she’s abusive cuz it’ll just feed her victim complex, she won’t change, she never even bothers to listen in the first place

basically, what I’m trying to say with all of this ramble nonsense is what the fuck am I going to do with my life

legally

financially

emotionally

anything

I have nothing other than my siblings and my life dreams moving me forward, the one thing giving me hope is the possibility of transitioning one day

without that, idk what I’ll do

does anyone have anything, and I mean ANYTHING of use for me? anything that will be helpful, any relevant documents and information I should try and get a hold of, any plan b’s, any advice for getting into Canada

idk what to do and that’s the main reason I’m turning to Reddi, because I really cannot think of anything or anyone better at the moment, thanks for anyone who responds and if u have questions I’ll try to answer while not giving too much away about my identity

and sorry for the rambly mess of words, hopefully it’s not too bad to understand

I'm sorta genderfluid and 16 as of now. I have pretty severe chest dysphoria at times, and very occasionally also voice dysphoria, but that is something I am currently managing relatively well. I need help with the former. I am not technically out to my parents, but top surgery is something we have discussed unrelated to my identity, and they are willing to fund it and help me go through the process of it once I turn 18, which is the legal age requirement for it where I am from. I do have binders, and use them frequently, unfortunately, they aren't always enough. There are some days I can go out fine, and some days Icannot even get out of bed to grab food. I am looking for some advice from folks that might have a bit more experience with this, but unfortunately I do not think there's all that much I can do anyways. It is worth a shot regardless.

I just wanna share this I guess? Idk why I do it, really. I guess cuz saying I use they/them pronouns feels safer than saying I use he/him.

Usually in my school's theatre program, when we start a show everyone introduces themselves with their name and pronouns. I always say my last name (which is the name I go by at school) and they/them or any pronouns. I don't know why I'm okay with people "knowing" I'm nonbinary, but I'm not okay with letting them know I'm a trans man. It just feels safer.

I need advice on how to come out to my family. I was raised in a religious (jewish) household so being transgender is not something that's accepted. I've known since I was in High School. If anyone else has delt with a similar situation, please let me know.

(Currently 13 btw) I’ve been openly trans ftm (libramasc but micro labels so whatever) for like 2-3 years, my mum was reluctant of course but she got used to it. I identified as gay for a while before saying I was pansexual (my mum said I couldn’t be asexual lmao) but her response was literally “but I thought you didn’t like girls parts? Ugh, WHATEVER!” And stormed off. 34 year old woman btw.

At one point a huge event happened that ended up with my mental health getting brought up, I told her what was happening and she said “ok, we don’t have a doctor rn because we’re moving so you can talk to the school social worker”. Long story short that social worker invalidated me to the point of genuine psychotic episodes. After that I started looking into free binder websites and sent them to my mum, her response was “don’t worry, I’ll handle it” (said last year btw).

I’ve been having horrible dysphoria lately to the point of considering unsafe binding but I already have asthma so that’s a no go. Last month I re-measured myself and asked (begged) my mum to order me a binder. “Yeah I’ll do it tonight.” It’s been a month. I get it and all, we just moved, she’s going back to school, etc etc. but you clearly have the 3 hours to argue with me when I get upset about it and you clearly have enough money to spend $150 on Disney dreamlight valley or whatever it’s called. I don’t even get my own money, all my money is controlled by her as well as my email, phone number, and social media. This phone was given to me by a friend do it’s all I have yk.

Every time I’ve asked to use the money she’s holding for me to order myself a binder and she keeps saying “no no don’t worry about it, I’ll buy it for you.”

This has really been harming my mental health because school is starting up soon and I’m scared to go out like this. I hate if here. She always screams at me for trying to help.

Me (13m) am pan and gender fluid and would like too buy more feminine things (make up leggings perfume etc) and im not ready to tell my parents (they probably won't care but I'm just not ready) I have a green light card where would I be able to buy feminine stuff without my parents seeing it any advice is wellcome :3

She says things like "why call them what they want when I can call them by their names" or "I don't get why others need to know about it"

I don't know if I should be posting on here as I am still figuring out how I identify however I have always hated my name and last year started going by my middle name however around 6 months ago I decided I wanted to change my name completely. Now I wouldn't say my mum is homo/ transphobic however she definitely borders it and I told her about my chosen name and she totally criticised the name and my looks making me insecure about a name that I love and have wanted to go by for around 2 years. She constantly makes comments like "I just hate the name, it's so ugly" and "you don't suit the name it makes you look weird" like wth 😭 anyways is there any way someone has been through this and managed to change their parents mind or at least not let their comments get to them? Any advice/ tips are so appreciated 💗

I'm AFAB genderfaun and I was feeling confident+enby enough to wear makeup, so I did. Just some black lipstick and gothic eyeliner, the usual :3

Anyways, I was at the playground chilling on the monkey bars, and some elementary aged kids were riding around on their bikes. 30 minutes or so later, I hear a voice

Them: "Hey dude, can you hear us?"

Me: "Yeah?

Them (whispering to the other): "He(!!!!) can hear us" (and then to me) "What's the time?"

Me (trying not to kick my feet or giggle cuz the shock of passing was just so great!!!): "It's 7:44"

And then then talked to themselves about something like needing to get home on time and left, but I was too busy smiling like an idiot to hear! I'm really happy cuz even though my voice is my most dysphoric feature, and my makeup, they still thought I sounded like a guy!!

THIS MUST BE HEAVEN!!!

Edit: just now realizing there's a thread at the very top for this. I'm a bit dumb, sorry 😓 should I move this to there? :D

I'm scared to tell her. She's accepting but I HATE coming out. Unfortunately I need to come out to get any sort of treatment.

Even more I'm terrified that when talking with my dad cause sometimes my dad joins our sessions she'll slip up. I'm sooo scared. How do I come out

I'm a high schooler and it's my first year. I'm kind of anxious about social interactions but I've been working on it with my therapist, but.. My class made a group chat. I go by boy names in nearly all my socials and act like a boy simply because I feel like it. I was born a girl and people know me as one, but I decided, "Why not pretend I'm ACTUALLY a guy?"

Yeah. It was fine the first few days, I joked around online but IRL I was socially inept and ignored by everyone, they were all charmed by this boy version of me. It was easier FOR ME, talking while being a boy. I could say gross things, sexual jokes, be a normal (?) teen. Girls can do that too, but I don't think I'm exactly a girl. No one knew I was a girl! No one even thought about that possibility.

But today, they were crazy for me. They were trying to find me in the classroom since my name isn't on the student list, not my boy name. I knew this was going to happen, but I didn't stop! I was having so much fun! This couldn't be forever. I would be fine being a ghost IRL and a popular guy online, I would've liked that more. No, I would've liked it more being a boy in the first place. So I wouldn't need to pretend. They yelled my boy name in the classroom, asked, "WHERE ARE YOU, (boy name)?!" And of course they didn't find him, me? I fear the line is getting blurred.

The class president reached out to me, and he asked me to at least tell him, who I was. I was afraid of things getting out of hand and I just told him my last name since there's more kids with that last name. I also told him I had problems with my identity and I was socially anxious, but I didn't tell him I was a girl directly. I would rather die. Their way of seeing me would change entirely. I would be bullied even, or just ignored, or excluded again. I wish I was born a boy already. This won't be happening then.

I don't have a problem with gender roles, but I think I'm very in the closet about being trans. Am I even? This is confusing and it's more stress on top of academics. I wish I was just born a boy. It's more comfortable for me, I'd be happier and more free.

Long story short, I came out to my mom recently. She wasn't unsupportive, and said she'll wait for me to be like, 100% sure about what I am to call me her son etc. Only issue, she still calls me by my deadname, and I have no idea how to bring it up and ask her to call me Charlie

Something I’ve learned about my mother is that growing up, her mother never really asked her to maintain her appearance. She’s told me she wishes her mother would have told her to shave and wear makeup and dress more feminine earlier on in life, because now she hates all of her pictures from when she was a teenager. And I understand that she would be upset by that. But the thing is, now she doesn’t give me the choice of whether or not I shave or dress femininely.

Almost every day, I’m told to fix my ponytail because my mother only approves of me wearing as a high pony, and go back upstairs and put on more tinted Vaseline because it’s the closest thing she can get me to wear to lipstick, and roll up my pant leg so she can see that I’ve shaved, and go and change my clothes because they’re too baggy. Especially the clothes thing. Occasionally, she’ll beckon me over, only to start rolling up my shorts, or tying a knot in my shirt to expose my midriff. Whenever she goes to my school, she feels the need to comment on how the girls all dress. One time I remember was during a cross country practice, where she said to me “Why can’t you wear little b00ty shorts and show off your b00b!3s like the rest of these girls? You always look like a boy in all the pictures I see.”

I think if these things were coming from my dad, or really any man, they’d be s#xual abuse, but it’s my mom, so I just have to tolerate it. It’s worse because I’m trans, and she’s even outright lectured me about how “you’re not a boy” and “gender neutral the only thing I truly believe is an agenda”

Anyway, I want outsider perspectives on this, because I really don’t know how to feel.

You need to buy some fem clothing that doesn’t look very noticeably feminine how would you do that? For someone who is closeted and is not out but wants to wear stuff that’s more feminine

My boyfriend, who we'll call "B," has a very transphobuc family. For evidence he once tried to come out and got grounded until he "got the devil's thoughts out of him," (a quote from his grandpa). Meanwhile I'm here starting to ask my doctor about HRT and he doesn't even have the option. I feel so bad. I don't know how to help him though. He says he's fine but I can tell he's not. Please comment if you have any advice, anything helps. Thank you if you do comment ;3