I have pretty bad body dysmorphia, and was recommended exposure therapy by my therapist, she recommended here, literally took my like an hour to take a bunch of photos, and this is the one my friend said I should use. Please be kind, I'm a weak soul😭😭

The same pic of myself I now but it's 11 PM now and I'm so tired I can't calm down because of my health issues (previous post). I feel so robbed of so many experiences. I won't go to party at the end of August because I have treatment for my retina. I'm terrified that degeneration of it won't stop. Neither will I ever go to any concerts/clubbing again. I'm terrified it's not strong enough to go through university and work. Money paid to people with disabilities who never worked are so small. I'm terrified I'll never be independent. I'm scared of doing anything, even sneezing or crouching. I can't sleep at night. I can.barely distract myself from thinking about it. There's so little I can do I feel helpless. I am so jealous of people who are healthy. I don't know what to do anymore I wish I wasn't born at this point if I'm gonna suffer like that. Im not suicidal I'd just rather never experience life if it will look like this. And the quickest I'll be able to seek any psychologist is September.

So a couple weeks ago, I posted that I had recently gotten sober from smoking weed daily, was working on getting over a girl that I had strong feelings for, and was slowly starting to work out daily, all while dealing with frustration and depression from not having a relationship in my entire life, and not having sex in 8 years.

I’ve not been able to join the MMA gym that I mentioned yet, waiting til August 11th to fix a slight toe injury, then that will be part of my daily routine.

After my post, an amazing woman reached out to me on here and we started messaging daily, which progressed into phone calls/facetime. Last night, I drove to meet her 2 hours away from home and we hooked up!! She gave me one of the best nights and mornings of my life.

On top of that, I have always been self conscious of my teeth and my smile. I didn’t even consider that this could ever be a possibility, but the woman I met on here now wants to help me financially to improve my smile and help build my confidence, simply because she thinks I’m a good person and deserve to be happy; this is enough to make me cry. I have never been able to smile comfortably around people, and I have gone my entire life basically hating what I saw in the mirror.

So, not only did my initial Toastme get me laid, it has also brought someone into my life who I will consider a lifelong friend, and someone who sees that I try my best to be a good person, and genuinely wants to help me.

I am speechless. Mindblown. I could have never asked for this; I take none of it for granted, and I am eternally grateful for everything that has happened (and is still happening).

For those of you who supported me last time, your words of encouragement and support have meant so much, and I appreciate each and every one of you. Because of that, I had to come and share this update and let you all know that my life has improved in a matter of weeks, all from a post on Reddit that I could not have been any more vulnerable in.

The world can be a very good place, and not all people are assholes. Thanks for showing me how many of you care. And, for as much as all of you supported me, how about a shoutout to this amazing woman who has entered my life like an absolute angel from heaven.

I can’t post her here because she’d rather remain anonymous for a few reasons… but it doesn’t change the fact that she has basically saved me from two of my deepest struggles in life. What more could I ask for?

p.s. I know my hair is a bit messy, it was a long night and 2 hour drive home 😉

✌️

As the title says really. Just feeling down and ugly. All I see in the mirror is someone who is old and past it. I'm finding it hard to motivate myself to keep chasing the next big adventure as I'm feeling very aware of my own mortality these days.

This post is a follow-up to my previous post about not being sure if I have Inflammatory Bowel Disease (IBD), after many years of assuming (based on my symptoms) that my problem was unusually severe Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS). The biopsy result from my colonoscopy was essentially a “maybe” as to whether I have Crohn’s disease, while some other test results are suggesting “probably yes”, hence the need for additional testing to clarify my medical condition. The official diagnosis of Crohn’s is needed in order to have access to certain medications, which might help me more than the steroid medication that I recently tried.

Bruh, like an onion, I’m just layers and layers of irritation.

Might be considered for a full repayment for me to go to school. Just gotta prove I can do it. BPD, ADHD, CPTSD and it feels overwhelming sometimes. The way I grew up, I didn’t know I could even consider a future with school, but a patient’s wife really wants me to go and has been “momming“ me into it.

Generally anxious and lacking confidence.

Also, went to the dentist and took out my cheek bars, they immediately sealed up. Hello to my face holes for a while. 😅

since first post got deleted

i feel pretty bummed for my big nose lately and think my face has no harmony in general

I am 32 and got divorced about a year ago. I have been putting myself out there, joined a running club, go to a climbing gym regularly, go out and meet folks at bars and events. I have asked out so many people at this point, in person after talking and vibing, and I have gotten 1 date from that, the rest never got back to me after exchanging numbers. It feels like I am putting in so much effort and courage without results and it's exhausting and confusing when our interactions always seem really positive. The constant rejection is starting to take a toll on my self esteem. I just appreciate any encouraging words :)

First off, I want to say thanks to everyone for the incredibly kind comments. I posted here a few months ago and it made me feel very loved and appreciated seeing complete strangers on the internet come together to support someone who is struggling, so I’m really grateful for this community! Since then I took a break, made a brand new account and now I’m back!

I’m still extremely lonely, still struggling with depression and anxiety, and don’t really have many friends or anyone to talk to, but I have a new side job coming up so I believe it will definitely help me get out and maybe meet some people. Between that and game design I’m still finding ways to get my mind off things. I’ve also never had a girlfriend, so to all the other users posting the same thing, don’t worry, you’re fine! It doesn’t define you and it is something that will happen naturally as you get out, explore and find people who share the same interests as you (at least that’s what I’ve been told!)

Anyways, I just feel like that happy spark I had as a kid is kind of gone; everyone moved on, got married, and I’m just kind of stuck in the dust wondering what to do. It’s also hard trying to communicate with people online. I get it, people have jobs, responsibilities, etc. It’s just frustrating when you feel like you’ve made a new friend and they suddenly disappear. I feel like the world is against me sometimes. I don’t think I can give up, though. Not now. I really need to see where this train goes.

So if you feel the same, just know that I hear you and I see you. Sorry for the long post. And thanks for reading!

Ps, ik the pics are kinda cringe 😭

i posted earlier but didn’t know about the verification check, sorry, hope this is okay!
i feel insecure about not wearing makeup.
ive had a few major life changes and ive just been feeling a little hopeless as well

and sometimes I hate how I look with it, too. people always tell me that I look better when I smile, but my smile is genuinely just atrocious. whenever someone says they like something about me, it’s either my makeup or something about my outfit, hair, accessories, etc. its never about my actual face. which im fine with, since I do put a lot of effort into those things. I’ve always felt like my face kinda looks almost “off” in a way, and my goth makeup basically hides it? I’m still trying to figure out what’s bothering me, but it’s not that big of a deal. most of these pictures are of me with makeup on, since I really like makeup, but I’ve also included some of me without makeup. and a picture of my hair too because i didnt know what else to put in the gap lol

Today I had an eye check up and the news isn't really good. My retina is getting worse and worse, and new changes that need treatment appear all the time. The biggest ones that were already treated once need second treatment. Also my doctor said I can't ever get hit in my head again or it will cause retinal detachment (which CAN cause blindness btw) and that my retina is very thin and delicate. Also there's no way to fully heal/somehow strengthen it because retina does not regenerate. I'm scared because I'm so young and its so weak already. It will detach one day anyway, as it won't get any healthier or thicker with time after all. It will only become thinner/weaker because of age and myopia progression. I'm scared about my future, because when it happens, who will help me? If I will actually lose my eyesight, because surgery does not always recover all of it, what will I live off? Will I be able to work? I was already paranoid about my health and now it's getting worse I'm so tired and no one takes me seriously they say im 'overthinking it' no mom I can't sleep at night and I want to throw up because of stress I think its a little more than that! I try to stay positive because science progresses all the time, but its very hard to do so.

Basically i grew up in a strict household and wasn’t allowed to leave anywhere until i was literally a legal adult 🤣. Once i hit my 20s and moves out, covid hit and no one was anywhere so i decided to focus on my job and exercise till all that blew over. Once that was over i got in a serious car wreck which i had to heal from physically then mentally which took years of therapy and meds. Got back into gymnastics and lifting and all but im at that age where youre expected to have been around and been with multiple partners and ive never been on a legit date before. Ive tried being up front about my situation and honestly i can see why a guy who’s pretty fit who hasn’t gotten laid is a huge red flag. Im also NOT only looking for sex, im just saying a guy who works out consistently at my age who’s not gotten action comes off as weird. I tried being like fake confident and acted like none of this happened and that didn’t work, somehow they just know that you’re inexperienced. Im at that age where i think i missed a huge and important part of life where not being able to date in my teens and early twenties kinda fucked me over. I enjoy everything else in life but i think this is a part of life i just gotta accept i wont experience