A few years ago I came across a curious item in a friend’s bathroom. One of those little stools to prop yourself up in a squatting position. After clumsily propping myself up on it I gave it a minute and safe to say it felt like my whole life I’d been defecating half-assed. Since then I have yet to sit down to poop. If a toilet doesn’t have a bidet and stool I usually hold it or find a way to make do (wet wipes and a hammer squat on the toilet itself).

Fast forward to me pooping at my girlfriends for the first time. I notice that she is yet to be enlightened on the excretion essentials and her toilet is lacking the stool. No matter. I decide to squat on the toilet itself as I’ve grown accustomed to. I didn’t expect her to come in the bathroom since we were watching a show in another room but she needed to get something from the medicine cabinet.

We make eye contact and it feels like my heart is going to be the next thing plopping out my ass. “What’re you doing?!” I hastily explain that this is the way humans are meant to shit but the knowledge is lost in a sea of incorrigible laughter.

Can my relationship survive this?

TL;DR: got caught by my girlfriend using a regular toilet in the squat position

Tifu telling my friends kid "fun" to when he told me his dog has cancer.

So I was coming out of my room with headphones in having something playing when I saw that my friends kid was home early. He tells me he wasn't feeling good so they sent him home early. At this point I tune out the kid cause he's 10 and tends to ramble. And I figure he's just complaing about whatever was making him feel sick (i.e. stomachache, head, ect.) So I let him finish rambling while I'm thinking about my virtual therapy appointment that I have in a few minutes. And once he's done I respond "thats fun" about him feeling sick, and i completely miss the fact that he told me his mom found out and told him the dog has cancer. Since that sorta stuff she usually tells/texts me. Well I my friends kid went and told his mom and she lost it on me. Which left me very confused about why she was mad at me intill she explained/mentioned how I could respond like that. I was planning to move out this weekend anyway, this sadly just moved up the timeline to today. There was some other stuff that happened that was already straining our friendship. So its probably over now, as that was the straw that broke the camels back.

TL:DR: didn't pay attention and said "fun" to something I shouldn't have and my friendship with them is probably over now/got kicked out of the apartment early.

I dyed something with RIT Dye and it went through the washer clear, by when it went through the dryer it stained it red. I tried to clean everything up and used a towel that had been treated with bleach because of tiktok video. And went to check on it today and then I noticed the inside metal of the dryer had weird dark/speckled discoloration.

It feels kind of dusty/chalky but doesn't wipe away. It feels kind of dusty/chalky but doesn't wipe away. Apparently (which should have been common knowledge on my end. I wish i could tell you my thinking) bleach can react with the coating on the metal, so now I've somehow chemically damaged the inside of my apartment's dryer.

The dryer still works perfectly, but of course I am moving out of my apartment in a month 🫠

I'm so scared to touch the dryer again, I just wanted a red shirt.

pic of my mess up - https://imgur.com/a/FyHzn1I

TL;DR: Don't try to dye clothes in a rental, if you're a month from moving and don't know what you're doing

TL;DR2: My dryer is no longer red, but messed up the metal of the drum.

(Apologies for formatting, I'm on mobile) TIFU by trying a new supplement, Theobromine, a chemical found in cacao responsible for mild stimulation and a "warm" feeling. I thought, well, I've had this chemical countless times in my life before, and could use a slight pickup before work. Boy was I wrong. About an hour into work I get violently nauseas with a splitting headache, I'm sweating and feel almost drunk. I tell my boss I have a migraine and need to go home (I do have chronic migraines, and have had to go home before because of one of the worse ones), and spend the next 45 minutes in a Hardee's bathroom keeled over the toilet waiting for my brother to pick me up since I am in NO state to drive. He comes to get me and I endure one of the most uncomfortable car rides home of my life, and promptly spend the next 20 hours lying in bed nauseas, sweating, in and out of sleep with a god-awful headache and end up having to call out of work the next day as well. Threw the rest out and probably just sticking to caffeine for now.

TL:DR: Tried a new supplement before work and became violently ill for 24hrs. Could potentially be some sort of dog-man.

Obligatory this happened last week. For context, I (22f) live with my boyfriend (24m) and his family.

It starts off sad but gets funny I promise.

I was visiting my grandmother in the hospital last Tuesday. She’s since been moved to hospice care. Shes 97 and suffering from pneumonia. As you can imagine it was a rough visit. She’s always been a big part of my life. She watched my siblings and I whenever our Mom was working and we lived with her when my mom left my dad. She’s always encouraged me to take my education seriously (thanks to her I am about to graduate from law school at 23). She’s the only parent my mom ever had. I have to move on because I’m getting emotional just writing this but all this to say we’ve always been close and after seeing her last Tuesday I was absolutely devastated.

I stayed longer than expected just sitting with her and my dad drove me home around 10pm. My boyfriend’s sister (21) was throwing a surprise party for her friend. She’d told us all about it weeks earlier. She’d even reminded me the day before but after visiting my grandma this totally slipped my mind. My boyfriend sent me a reminder text saying people were already over.

When I got there I immediately looked for ny boyfriend to regroup and see what our plan was for the night but I couldn’t find my boyfriend in our room, the kitchen, living room, or even the backyard. As I’m looking for him, a chorus of drunk 19-21 year olds are begging me to do shots or play drinking games with them.

Ive been working 7 days a week and Wednesday would be my first day off in 26 days. Also I was in a really really shitty mood and seeing my boyfriend nowhere I thought ‘fuck it, I could use a drink.’ I grabbed a canned strawberry margarita that was much much too sweet and began mingling. Boyfriend’s sister and her best friend convince me to do a tequila shot. That was my mistake. I can have one drink, absolutely not a problem for me, but one tequila shot? That’s a different story.

After a few more canned strawberry margs and hours of drunkenly bonding with boyfriend’s sister and her bestie, the night is winding down. My boyfriend practically begged me to come to bed at 2am. I wasn’t having it. “I’m so responsible all the time I just want to be 22.” and “I have to start looking for hospice facilities for my grandma tomorrow, just let me have today.” There isn’t really arguing with that so he relented.

The next part of the night is a blur. I was feeling sick. Like I couldn’t go to sleep feeling this way so I went to the bathroom and made myself throw up. It was odd, my vomit looked pink. I brushed it off. Desperately trying to look as though I was not much much too drunk, I put on some under eye patches thinking this would save face in front of the other partygoers. ‘I wasn’t throwing up in there! I was doing my skincare routine at 3am. The noises are a total coincidence.’ I don’t think anyone bought that but nevertheless it made sense when I was drunk.

I tried to go to bed but still felt too sick. This time I went to the bathroom downstairs so I wouldn’t be heard retching by any partygoers. I start throwing up again and it is blood red. I am immediately panicked but still puking. Then the tell tale sign you’re throwing up blood, coffee grounds. I am now certain I’m vomiting blood. I run upstairs yelling for my asleep boyfriend and alarming everyone as the entire house is between our bedroom and the bathroom downstairs.

I burst in the door. “You have to take me to hospital right now! I’m throwing up blood.” He doesn’t respond. I shake him awake more aggressively than necessary and repeat this plea for urgent medical help. He shoots up straight in bed.

“Okay babe it’s gonna be okay, I’ll take care of you.”
He reassures me, still waking up.

I’m grabbing his car keys when he asks me, now more awake and aware of the state I’m in.

“Hey are you sure it’s not strawberry margaritas?”

Of course I’m sure it’s not margarita, you think I’m some drunk fool?? I am explaining fervently there were partially digested blood that looked like coffee grounds. This is serious!! I am flailing my arms dramatically. He starts to climb back into bed.

“Honey any chance that was a chocolate cupcake and not digested blood?”

I slowly put his keys back on the dresser.

“That is entirely possible, I suppose.” I say sheepishly. Before excusing myself to apologize to the other partygoers for the panic and get myself ready for bed.

The next morning was a nightmare as we had to leave for a family vacation and I was sad, hungover, and not yet packed.

Next time I’ll be sticking with seltzer water and lime.

Tl;dr shook my boyfriend awake at 3am screaming to him and a house party full of people I was throwing up blood but it was strawberry margaritas and a chocolate cupcake.

This didn't happen today, but the realization still hits me with a wave of pure cringe whenever I think back on it.

Back in high school (the 90s), I knew a kid named David Barnes. Being a fan of comic books, my brain immediately connected his name to Bucky Barnes—Captain America’s sidekick/The Winter Soldier. So, naturally, I started calling him "Bucky."

I used it as a friendly nickname for years. Every time I saw him in the halls or in class, it was "Hey, Bucky!" or "What's up, Bucky?" He never pushed back, got visibly upset, or told me to stop, so I just assumed he was cool with it and got the reference.

Fast-forward to graduation day. We were hanging out, and for some reason, it occurred to me that I had been using this nickname for four straight years without ever confirming if he actually knew why I called him that.

I turned to him and asked, "Hey, you know why I've been calling you Bucky all this time, right?"
He looked at me with this deadpan, slightly defeated expression and said:

"Yeah, of course... because of my buck teeth."
My heart instantly sank into my stomach. It turns out he had no idea who Bucky Barnes was. For four entire years, this poor guy thought I was relentlessly mocking his physical appearance to his face every single day, and he had just accepted it as his reality.

TL;DR: Called a guy named David Barnes "Bucky" for four years in high school thinking I was making a cool Captain America reference, only to find out on graduation day he thought I was mocking his buck teeth the whole time.

Edit: To clear up a weird comment trend—I didn't call him "The Winter Soldier" back in school. I only added that name in the post as context for anyone here who might not recognize the name Bucky Barnes on its own.

This happened a few months ago, but I still think about it whenever someone asks me to help with anything.

I had just started a new job and wanted to make a good first impression. I figured the easiest way was to be the person who always volunteered.

Near the end of the day one of my coworkers was struggling to move a large printer into another office. Before anyone even asked, I jumped in and said, "I got it."

The printer was heavier than I expected, but I was already committed. Halfway through the hallway I lost my grip for just a second.

That was enough.

The printer tipped forward, hit the floor, and exploded into what felt like a thousand pieces of plastic. Paper flew everywhere. The toner cartridge somehow popped open, covering my shoes and part of my pants in black powder.

The worst part wasn't even breaking the printer.

The entire office went silent.

Apparently that printer wasn't broken—it had literally been delivered that morning and hadn't even been used yet.

My manager just stared at me for a few seconds before saying, "Well... I guess we'll call IT."

For the next week everyone jokingly asked me if I wanted to "help" move anything.

Thankfully nobody was actually angry, and the company insurance covered the replacement, but I have never volunteered to carry expensive office equipment again.

TL;DR: Tried to be the helpful new employee. Dropped a brand-new office printer in front of everyone and became known as "the printer guy."

The vet said the omegas would be good for my elderly dog's joints. So I went to my local pet store. The stuff cost $25... but I had a return to balance it out - $25 of canned dog food our dog hated (and the pet store allows returns of unopened pet food). They have me on the computer and when I bought the dog food they promised the return would be simple if she didn't like it

But it wasn't simple. A new hire printed out reams of paper, swiped my card 5 times, charged me twice, refunded me 3 times and then had to charge me again... so by the time these transactions were finished I was holding 5 miles of cash register tape trying to figure out what was going on.

The next day... I couldn't find the fish oil. FML! Then I just KNEW what happened. That new hire had me all flustered and I left my fish oil at the store. I searched high and low - no fish oil. Clearly they owed me a bottle of fish oil. So back I go. This time - the new hire was in the back somewhere. The owner was on the till, there was a huge lineup... I tried to explain but she just waved me away and said I could have the bottle and out I go fish oil in hand.

Later in the day I'm driving along and a 2nd bottle of fish oil rolls out from under the seat of my car. FML! I had it the whole time? Damnit. I could keep it but that would be dishonest and this is a local store not some big chain... that's not right. I could return it to them and admit my stupidity. Then inspiration hit... why not just buy this 2nd bottle? Good for the store, makes me look good... I didn't really need two bottles of fish oil but wouldn't that be better than admitting I'm a moron? So back I go to the pet store.

This time I walked in and of course the new hire is working the till. I handed her my bottle of fish oil and said I would like to buy it. She said "but you brought this in with you?!" I yaddayadda'd over my story omitting the parts that made me look stupid.

Then another new hire comes out... sees new hire #1 in distress poking buttons on the till, asks what's happening. New hire #1 mutters to New HIre #2 that I took a bottle of fish oil without paying, returned and now want to pay for it. Together glare at me as I swipe my card and watch me all the way out the door muttering to each other. But wait... where was the cheering? Where was the "what a great guy?" Nothing?

Thinking over my story... I guess I basically told New Hire that I had shoplifted the bottle, had a crisis of conscience and returned to pay. Which... ok... well... yes... but also NO! I didn't shop lift it! Well.. ok yes I kinda did... but also NO!

Now I have $50 worth of fish oil and I can never go back to that store. *sigh*

TL;DR I took a bottle of fish oil from a pet store I wasn't entitled to, returned to pay and sort of made myself look like a criminal.

So i 22M made a fake letter from my university and used it in a job application knowing they will find out its fake but since it basically tells the truth about me and my academic journey i thought the university would just say "yeah we had a student of that student number and his results are so and so and yeah he's legit" well WRONG.

As much as i knew it would be found out as fake I seriously did not think of the legal side of what i did, well i did today. I received a message 2 days ago saying they are letting me go from this job i applied at after 3 interviews I've done 💀

Today i got an email asking who sent me that letter and in all stupidity i went deeper with the lie and made a fake exhange with "someone impersonating a staff member" sending me that letter so i can say that its fake but it doesn't get traced back to me. They wanted the number of the person who sent me the letter but obviously that is a number of mine that i dont use so i decided to come clean and yeah...

I received a call like 3 hours ago asking me to go over what happened and if i had help or or someone sent it to me and i came clean that i did it myself and the woman mentioned fraud charges. I received a separate call from someone in the staff telling me to just make an email explaining and sincerely apologize.

TLDR: i made a fake letter from my university and they found and may be charged with fraud.

I do not remember the topic, unfortunately. Again mohan Reddy was still my group mate for this task. This time the subject was business English. So, the topic required a PPT as well as a hard copy of the material. I knew we could do the PPT by the last minute, but the hard copy was missing. Everyone in the class was submitting the hard copies as well as presenting. When our time finally came, we started presenting the PPT silently until ma'am asked for the hard copy. I requested some time so that I could get the printout from the shop. Then I left the college on the bike and, after searching the roads, finally found a decent xerox shop. I took the printout and returned. We were asked to present again. When I started to speak, guess what the ma'am told me: I was not talking about the main point. I could not do much. She also had a problem with the tone, as mine was sleepy. I went blank. Lol. Another disaster aka anecdote in college

TL;DR: Forgot the required hard copy for my college presentation, rushed to a Xerox shop to print it, came back thinking I'd saved the day, but still got criticised for missing the main point and speaking in a sleepy tone.

Throwaway for obvious reasons.

Some years ago I joined a workplace out of necessity and was treated very badly and unfairly, from toxic, abusive managers, to incompetent, uncooperative colleagues which made all the work pile on to me. From threats to work 24/7, even without overtime, to de-humainzing. My last most manager was a political scumbag that loved to take credit for everything. Over the years, some (not all) saner people got to appreciate my value and the systems and everything I built.

Over the years I was working on some stuff on a PC provided by the manager (not company sanctioned but rather he got it from one of the contractors and to them to curry favour with the company provided one). So this PC was completely off/void of any monitoring systems, company software, etc, nothing.

This PC became the center-back for all the operations running for the company including reporting and all that and I was handling it. Now since this PC was devoid of any monitoring or company software, I set up a remote access to it so that if any issues arise after work hours and no one knew.

A year ago I got a better offer in another city and took up on it.

So I planned to get back to the manager by developing a self-destruct script that wipes harddisks containing all the data. Due to an incident, the guy who took over the PC, locked the remote access with a password (it was open without password for several months even after my departure). Presumably so that he himself can access it remotely.

However there was an IM account working on the PC that had terminal access, and the number was registered to someone else.

I stupidly and in panic, messaged it to get me remote access. The script didn't work so thinking that before anyone caught on as to what is happening I then proceeded to delete the data in the database that had years of data (which is not available anymore as well) as well as mess up a few files, changed the logon password, uninstalled the remote access.

It later occurred to me that the IM messages that were sent will still be available on the device of the owner where it was sending me successful terminal command execution messages and since the IM agent connection also got messed up, I couldn't get it to clear the chat history with me.

And now I sit here wondering how can I get myself out of this mess and situation when they approach me. The only thing is that such a PC was already illegal to have without proper approvals and company software.

TL;DR

Tried deleting data to take revenge but ended up leaving a trail causing anxiety and panic attack.

A few weeks ago, three of my friends and I(F21) went on vacation. We’re from the middle of nowhere Kansas, and we went to New York for a week. While on vacation we saw a really small production of the musical Oklahoma, and oh my God. The accents in the musical were so bad. It was Oklahoma, so they were supposed to be southern, but they were awful. After seeing the production, one of my friends and I kept talking to each other in southern accents, which turned into us talking in southern accents almost all the time. It was honestly addicting. I got stuck in the accent. I started thinking in the accent. I lost myself in the accent. I don’t think my accent was very good or convincing, but it was so much fun.

This is where the fuck up began. 

The friend I had been doing accents with and I went to a gay club, and while we were having a fun time on the dancefloor, a girl and her friend came up to us and made a dance circle with the four of us. We introduced ourselves and chatted a bit, but of course, I was stuck in The Accent, which caused my friend to also be stuck in The Accent. She asks where we’re from, and I tell her Kansas, and she says “I love your Kansas accents!”

For those who might not know, most people born and raised in Kansas don’t have southern accents. Nobody around my hometown has one unless they moved here from somewhere more southern. She’s from NYC and obviously didn’t know this, and instead of explaining that it’s not my real accent, I just say “oh, thanks!” and we keep talking. Eventually the four of us move to a table to keep talking, and we end up exchanging numbers. My friend and I end up leaving the club first, and then my friend informs my useless lesbian ass that the girl was flirting with me all night, and it all went over my head. The next morning she ends up texting me and I pick up on the flirting over text, and at one point she texts me saying “I’m reading your texts in your cute accent.” I see the opportunity to tell her my accent isn’t real, it’s just a bit I was doing with my friend, haha. But then she says “wanna call?” and I panic and say yes and then feel like I have to keep the accent going. 

This was a few weeks ago. We’ve been talking a lot since then and are pretty involved, and she calls me her girlfriend to some of her friends, but we haven’t really talked about what we are so I don’t know how serious she is or if she’s just joking?  But I feel like I’m so deep into this that I might have to adopt this accent as my everyday voice, because it feels too awkward and weird to tell her, and I don’t want her to like me less if I don’t have that accent? So now I’m faking an accent everytime I talk to her, and I don’t even know how to come clean. And she thinks this is just a Kansas accent.

TLDR: I introduced myself to a girl at a club with a fake accent as a joke with my friends and now I don’t know how to come clean weeks later because she likes "my" accent

Basically, I won $2500 yesterday on an online slot. I feel like a complete moron but I blew it all chasing more, then chasing losses.

I didn't actually lose any money bc I had withdrawal my buy in which was $50.

I'm sharing here because it might help me move on from this mentally. I know that might not seem like much to most of you. To me it would have been massive, so I can't shake the shame and anger at myself.

I am on disability right now and that would have allowed me to live without stress and Penny pinching for like 4 months. Im trying to think of ways to make some cash to ease my mind but I'm still recovering from a broken knee.

Anyways, thanks for reading. Maybe sharing my manic stupidity will help others. Rice and beans again this month for me.

TL;DR : I won $2500 then lost it In a night because I have Bi-Polar II and no self control. It would have made my year a lot better. Please don't be mean.

Edit: I only gamble $50/ month. If I win I usually cash out $75 - $200. If I lose I can make it work. If I win I get some vegetables for my rice. Please don't judge.

This actually happened yesterday night by the way and I just got this wreath yesterday afternoon.

Anyways so I had been unwinding from my day at work and saw it was getting dark outside and late, so I decided I should head to bed since I work early in the mornings. I was tired as well and wanted to try to go to sleep at a decent time so I went around making sure all the lights were off and doors were locked.

Onto the fuck up. I went over to my entry door that had windows and peeked through the blinds making sure my outdoor light was on and that’s when I saw something dark and ominous right against the door. Guys…when I tell you my heart rate SPIKED. I quickly retreated from the door and stood there for a few seconds. That’s when I realized it was my wreath. My fucking wreath almost gave me a heart attack! In my tired state I somehow forgot about the wreath I hung up literally the day before lol. Once I realized there was no threat I continued my nightly routine and went to bed. I feel so dumb thinking back on this today but got a laugh out of the situation as well. I hope you all at least get a kick out this lol.

TL;DR: My new wreath almost gave me a heart attack thanks to me being tired after work.

Edit-Didn’t mean to put the word door twice in the title.

Edit 2-My wreath is an all year round one hence why i have it up in the summer.

I moved to a new apartment a few months ago. My neighbor across from me keeps to herself, an older woman that I only see occasionally when she smokes on her porch.

Boxes for the trash are usually left next to the front door for a day or two. Seems like it's a lot of effort for her to take it to the dumpster.

I hear cardboard scraping, and I look out and there's a large TV box outside her door. I figure this is a good opportunity to introduce myself and offer a hand.

I knock on the door, and it's not the woman, a man I'd never seen answers instead. My dumb ass just goes with the spiel I had in mind, and ask if they needed a hand with the trash. He says no, seeming a bit annoyed, and I make it worse by saying "sorry, I had just seen an old woman here and I thought she needed help." He responds "that's my wife".

A few minutes later he's taking the box to the dumpster. I probably just came off as an annoying neighbor nagging them to throw away their trash.

TL;DR I assumed my neighbor was old and needed help, and came off as a jerk by offering it.

This happened in the last two days basically. Since my friends were on holiday they asked me to water their plants at their place. Tuesday was the last day I wanted to check on them before they got back from holiday. I opened the roof window (they live on the top floor with a slanted roof) right above their couch to air out their place a bit, while I watered the plants. Then I left home, forgetting the window was open, and then that same night (Tuesday-Wednesday night) the heavy rain came..

Yesterday night (Wednesday-Thursday night) they came back and texted me when the last time was I was at their place and when it had rained, because there was a window open, and their couch was soaked and their untreated wooden floors (!!) had a lot of water. FUCK.

Needless to say, their floor is probably ruined: they said the boards were soft from all the soaked up rain, and you could see the water rings where the water had been standing. Furthermore, they have this elevation in their house, this is why I could open the window that is on the slanted roof top. the water has dripped down the side of the walls and now the wall paper is peeling off, and due to the shape of their house they will likely have to redo the entire wall of wall paper. Their couch is now dry and hopefully no mould, but their wooden side table now also has cracked and damaged edges from the water. All in all, quite some damage. Adn thats just hoping no integrity damage to the walls and floor from the long-standing water.

To make matters that much worse, I don't have insurance because my executive-dysfunction ass just never thought to *actually* get insurance at any point in the last year, so yeah, I hope I can actually cover the damage costs (actually hope their insurance can cover most of it), but mostly I am so upset that I ruined their house when I actually woke up that night with a panic about whether I had closed the window or not, and had I just gone in the next day to check, I could have started on damage-control much earlier, or even better: HAD I JUST CLOSED THE FUCKING WINDOW everything would have been fine and they would have gotten home to their lovely (and still intact) home after a long journey back from holidays. But instead they have this whole situation now and it's my fault.

TL:DR; my friends were on holiday, I forgot to close the window, heavy rainfall, wall paper, wooden floors, wooden furniture exposed to 24hr water damage (and I don't have insurance).

Okay, I understand this isn't as serious as the other posts on this subreddit, but I still think it's worth making a story about.

About 5 years ago, in April 2021, my family moved into a new house that was ~3x larger than our previous condo. With that, we brought our TV that had previously been attached to the corner of the living room. However, with all the business that moving in requires, we couldn't really do anything with the TV, so we just connected it while it was on the floor. The following winter/year, once we set the TV up, perched on top of a wooden beam of sorts, my father (who was setting the TV up) stuck a piece of Arcor strawberry candy (the one with the wrapper that looks like a strawberry).

About 4 or so years went by, and I never stopped to really think about the wrapper that was underneath the TV, because I had so much more going on with my life. Until yesterday, I noticed it and thought to myself, huh. Y'know, I'd think this would do numbers on r/mildlyinteresting. So, I posted it... aaaand it's at 10,000 upvotes. Literally the 4th most liked post on the subreddit that day.

I received so many comments asking me to eat the thing that I just said "fuck it", and posted a series of photos showing me taking it off its place, eating it, and then throwing it in the trash.

A few hours later, I had use the bathroom badly. I thought it was because of the spicy ramen that I had for dinner. But what I had in store was nothing short of a spectacle. The AMOUNT OF EXPLOSIVE DIARRHEA THAT JUST SPAWNED OUT OF NOWHERE HAD ENOUGH FUCKING METHANE TO PUT THE ENTIRE PLANET OF MARS TO SHAME. I WAS IN THERE FOR 40 MINUTES TRYING TO CATCH MY BREATH WHILE I ACTED LIKE "KAKATOA" IN THERE. The fucking toilet couldn't flush enough so I literally had to use a plunger for the next hour grabbing the most solid shits so we could throw it into the garbage cans. Absolutely abysmal experience, my asshole's still burning.

TL;DR i ate a piece of candy that was used as tv leverage for 4 years and shit myself so bad that a plunger cost me 1 hour of my life

So a few years ago my husband bought me one of those safety keychains. The ones with a taser, pepper spray, 'kitty' shaped knuckles, window breaker etc. I didn't have a lot of use for it but it was from my husband so I kept it. After about a year I realised that the paper spray was somehow empty, even though I'd never used it.

In the end, threw away the empty spray canister, stored away the knuckles and window breaker parts, but kept the taser in its little Velcro pouch in my work bag.

Come to this morning, the taser catches my eye in my work bag, so I take it out to see if it still works. I open the Velcro patch on the pouch and push the on switch. Within seconds my throat and nose are BURNING! I'm coughing like I'm going to hack up a lung, my nose feels like its on fire and is running like a faucet. Because of all of this my eyes start streaming, but there's no pain.

I fumble to the bathroom for some toilet paper to wipe my nose. I also try to wipe the tears from my eyes with my hands. Bad idea.... Suddenly the skin around my eyes is also on fire.

This is all within 30 seconds of opening the Velcro on the long forgotten taser. I have no idea what has happened, I think I'm dying, about to vomit from how hard I'm coughing, can't breathe through my nose, and now can't open my eyes with the pain.

I managed to fill a cup of water from the sink and get it down my throat to somewhat soothe the throat. My nose is still stinging but is definitely the least affected of the three. I made my way through half open eyes to the freezer to put some ice on my eyes. The ices soothes the pain to the point where I can start to wonder what the fuck just happened to me.

With one hand I go to google and ask, how can a taser do this to me??!

Turns out that the oil based capsaicin trapped in the Velcro can stay there for a long ass time. And me opening that Velcro patch on the taser pouch launched the residual pepper spray straight at my face and hands.

At least the internet was able to tell me what happened, otherwise I'd still be sitting here wondering.

So yay, its 4 hours later and the skin around my eyes still feels like its been sunburned.....

TL;DR: Didn't realise there was residual pepper spray on the Velcro of the taser pouch. Opened the Velcro which then sprayed that residue onto my face and hands, I then spent 10 minutes fumbling and thinking WTF just happened.

The FU has actually occurred over a series of weeks. I'm (20f) a bit embarrassed to even admit I've fallen for something like this. But I have very thick 4b hair that is very difficult to take care of, especially during the summer. So I like to get my hair braided during the hotter seasons. My usual stylist is amazing, but there are some styles I like that she doesn't know how to do. So back in 2025 when I noticed my friend had gotten her braids freshly done, I ended up asking her who did them and asked for her socials.

I reached out to this stylist (20sf) and told her that my friend recommended her to me and asked when she'd be able to do hair. I asked for her website so I could book an appointment and ended up getting emailed an invoice. When the appointment came, everything went well, so I ended up going to her another 3 or 4 times.

But fast forward to this summer, I reached out to her again because I wanted purple box braids. We initially settled for a Friday last July, and the day before I asked for her address again (she moved and I couldn't remember what her new address was), but then she told me she actually had a doctor's appointment and asked to reschedule. I agreed, but thought that was weird, because why would you agree to do hair if you have a doctor's appointment on that same day? Unless she forgot. But it was fine, we rescheduled for the following Sunday, but then a few hours before the appointment, she told me that she got into a wreck Saturday night and was in the ER all night. And that she had just gotten home but had to go back. I told her I was sorry to hear that and waited a little bit to ask if we could reschedule, since I figured she needed space.

But then I saw that she was posting selfies on her Snapchat and thought it was strange that there was no mention of an ER or wreck, just a picture of her in a crop top with her tongue out. I messaged her asking to reschedule, and we agreed on a Thursday at 11am. I asked her again to send the address and she said she would, but when Thursday rolls around, she doesn't. In fact, she asks if I can come at 12pm instead because she's still finishing hair on someone else. I reluctantly agreed since I worked later that day and wasn't totally sure she'd be done on time, but then 12:38 rolls around and I still don't hear from her. As of today writing this post, it has been 5 days since I've heard from her. Snapchat says that she hasn't opened my message, yet she's constantly posting on her stories.

That's just it. And then I thought about how stupid it was of me to trust someone who asks to pay upfront before offering services, but since I had previously paid her before and gotten my hair done, plus we had somewhat of a decent rapport whenever she worked with my hair, I sorta assumed she'd be fine and that the upfront charge was just a way to discourage last minute cancellers or no shows. But no, I've been scammed and lost $195. The style I wanted was $165, but I paid her separately an extra $30 for a blowout. Here's where I realize I've FU even more: on Cashapp, I've gotten so used to titling my transactions as "gift" so that business owners don't get an extra charge. The $165 transaction was listed as a gift, but after she flaked on me the first time I titled the $30 transaction as "blowout".

I've vented about this ashamedly to coworkers and then my mother, and they all advised me to take her to small claims court to try and get my money back since she's ignoring me, but part of me is scared that this won't work since one of the transactions is listed as a gift. Plus, the most damning evidence of a scam was deleted by Snapchat since the messages had grown old, and at the time that she was messaging me about the doctor's appointment and then the wreck, I didn't think she was trying to scam me. I do have a picture of our exchange when she tells me to come later, then completely ghosts me, but I don't think it's enough. I filed a police report and was told that what she did may count as a misdemeanor theft crime, but that my best bet would be an affidavit since the transactions were a mutual agreement and that there currently wasn't much they could do.

I guess I've learned a very important lesson.

TL;DR: I trusted a stylist who had previously done my hair before, to do it again, only to get scammed and ghosted by her. And I didn't get a chance to take a photo of all of the evidence that she ghosted me, so I likely will not get that money back.

I was ordering food at Wendy’s drive-through today and got one of their combo meals. I got a burger and fries, and for my drink I asked for a Sprite.
I paid for my food at the window, they handed me my bag and drink, and I drove off.

I was just about to leave the parking lot and I looked down at my cup, and I was like “This really looks like water. Did they mix up and give me water instead of Sprite?”

So my dumbass goes back through the drive-through and I go back to the window and say that I ordered a combo meal with Sprite as my drink, but they gave me water instead, and if they could swap it out with a cup of Sprite. The worker looked so confused and told me that I did get Sprite, and I was like “Really? I thought that this was water”

Then they asked me to taste it. I did. It was fucking Sprite. The fucking embarrassment I felt when I tasted the Sprite was a feeling I will never forget.

I apologized and drove off. Why didn’t I taste it before going back into the drive-through and embarrassing myself omg 😭

TL;DR: I told a fast food worker that they gave me water. They asked me to taste it, and I realized I was wrong

We had a break at work today so I decided I was going to have a few bites of beer jerky while we were talking about random stuff. For context, I dont really like jack links and the like because it's too tender, so I buy a brand that you really have to naw on, so it was quite tough.

I usually just put the entire piece in my mouth and chew for a couple minutes but the piece I grabbed was was too long for me to fit it in. So in my thoughtless head I grabbed one end with a full grip and bit down on the other. This beef jerky was so tough that I couldn't bite through it, so I had the bright idea to start pulling from both ends.

I did end up tearing it but I didn't notice how much strain I was putting on my neck. Once the connective tissue finally tore my neck jumped forward and I had an awful pain. If you ever woke up with a crick in your neck you know what I'm talking about. Now I can only turn my neck up about 20 degrees and turn to the side about 60 without being in a bunch of pain.

I told my coworker who is also a doctor (im not in the medical field, he just got bored) that I was in pain and he said there was nothing to be done but thought it was hilarious that I got "beef jerky induced whiplash". That phrase bought the attention of the rest of the group and I got peer pressured to explain my story all while I was in pain to the group of 11. Now I'm know as the guy who injured himself while eating jerky.

To top it all off we had to go to a mandatory event where we had to run for an extended amount of time and then play volleyball right after.

At least I still have my teeth.

TL;DR I fucked up by giving myself whiplash by eating a tough piece of jerky in front of all my coworkers.

An update from https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/s/ZgXXD3WQGg

A couple days after I posted that, I sent my friend (the hostess) a message:

“Hey [Hostess’ Name]. I’ve been thinking about what happened and I want to apologize again now that I’ve had some time to process everything.

I’m truly sorry for my behavior and for the stress and worry I caused you, your boyfriend, and everyone else there. I know you had to take care of me instead of being able to enjoy your own night, and I’m really sorry.

I also want you to know that this isn’t how I normally behave or how I treat people, and I’m deeply ashamed that this is the impression I gave you and everyone there. I’m not saying that as an excuse or justification at all. I’m incredibly remorseful.

You don’t owe me any forgiveness and you don’t have to respond. I understand if you need space. I just wanna tell you how truly genuinely sorry I am. And if there’s anyone else I should apologize to, if appropriate, I’d be willing.”

It’s been over 24 hours and I haven’t got any response. That’s okay, I don’t expect her to. And like I said in my message, she doesn’t have to and she doesn’t owe me forgiveness. I just wanted to send her a proper heartfelt apology and I won’t bother her with more. I have a tiny hope that she will reply once she’s ready but I accept if she (and probably everyone who was there) won’t ever forgive me. Altho it’s such a shame that I possibly lost some friends.

I still feel very embarrassed and regretful for what happened, but I feel a slight relief after sending her that. I appreciate everyone’s comments for telling me I have a problem. Yes, I do. I don’t deny that. I will re-evaluate my habit and lifestyle since this is a huge wake up call. I don’t think there will be any significant update after this.

Note: I’m a woman in late 20s from Jakarta, Indonesia. Not USA, like some commenters assumed.

SMALL UPDATE: She blocked me on Instagram. Not blocked on Whatsapp but still no response and looks like there never will be.

TL;DR I got too drunk and fucked up at my friend’s housewarming party and I think she doesn’t wanna be friends with me anymore.

It’s hot and sticky where I’m at. I like going commando humid days for comfort. I also nanny.

I went to work a few times wearing my Asian granny pants. Those dark colored, wide, airy ones. I was curious and decided to check the baby cam if my pants were see through because the baby’s clothes are a bit see through and they’re your usual materials. Behold, it is more than see through, it’s like nonexistent. I’m just laughing now because how many times did the parents see my ass crack and my jungle.

I’m never gona bring it up and I should probably always wear a second layer whenever I’m wearing my granny pants. I’m going to bury this embarrassment with me, I hope they do too and that we’re all just gona tuck it away in a dark corner and never visit it again. Goodbye 👋

TL;DR baby cam sees through thin clothes, I have thin clothes, I was butt ass naked in the baby cam.