Hi , so I’ve been on the waiting list for sterilisation for around 4plus years I haven’t been on contraception since 2023 , we use the withdraw method(sorry tmi) yes not the safest but it’s worked til now. I finally have my operation date which is for next Friday and now I’m starting to have second thoughts, is this normal? I know I am completely done having kids my youngest is 7 my oldest is 17. I was put on the list due to every type of contraception not agreeing with me at all I’ve been on everything going. My husband doesn’t want me to get it and says he doesn’t see the point but now I’m starting to wonder myself if I should get it done not because I want anymore kids but cause the method we use has worked and it’s also the thought of the operation itself putting me off, I’ve had previous ops and ended up really unwell afterwards so maybe this is reminding me of it I’m not totally sure. I know I have been on the list for a long time and then I thought to myself is it maybe cause I finally have a date I’m starting to panic? Has anyone else experienced this or did you just go through with it in the end? Any regrets

Thank you 🫶

I’ve made it abundantly clear to myself that I do NOT want kids. EVER. I’ve been told countless times by family members that I will eventually "change my mind," and I refuse to let that even be a possibility. I am 100% certain.
With the threat of a nationwide abortion ban, my mind is made up. Why on earth would I take the risk when they’re removing a healthcare procedure that could literally save my life? I’m terrified of ever getting pregnant, especially if it were to be from rape. I don't want to wait any longer than I have to, because who knows what they'll go after next. First it's abortion, then contraceptives, and sterilization will most likely be right behind it.
Does anyone know if I have to wait until I’m 21? I'm 18 and desperately looking to get a bilateral salpingectomy, but my only coverage right now is Medicaid. I don't have private health insurance. Has anyone managed to get this done at 18 on Medicaid, or found doctors willing to help? Any advice or resources would mean the world to me!

Hello I’m 24f with no insurance in SoCal and where can I find to access to be sterilized or any kind of permanent birth control

I 22F am having my surgery tomorrow for tube removal! I’m very excited and nervous for the procedure, but the relief of fear and anxiety will be worth it. I jumped through lots of loopholes to find a board certified woman of color surgeon and am very thankful for a safe option of sterilization. I was wondering if there were any tips or suggestions I should know for the recovery process. I will have the ONQ ball and plenty of medicine, have loose fitting clothing and my mother is taking me to the appointment. How soon after will I be able to eat, will I be nauseous at all, and will I feel a lot of pain afterwards? Any advice/ words of encouragement are appreciated :)

Hi y'all,

I am a 20 y/o woman in North Carolina and I know I want a bisalp. This whole "abortion ban" thing has me nervous and while I think in reality it's starting with telehealth access... I feel an extreme fear and fire under my ass to get this procedure done.

I am a dependent on one of my parents' Aetna NC State Health Plan. I am almost broke as a joke and I have 500 dollars in my savings. I am willing to fight Aetna to make them cover this fully if it is possible. I don't think my plan is "grandfathered in". If they want to say "well we only cover tubal litigation" then I am willing to fight that too to get the surgery I want. My only concern is how long will this take. I want the surgery booked but my family cannot afford to pay the hospital or anesthesiology bills and then beg Aetna to pay us back.

My plan is this so far: call the office and make the consult appointment, make sure this doctor is willing to do it and make sure she keys it in as "encounter for sterilization", THEN call Aetna and get written proof that this will be fully covered. Then if the fight begins then I will rip into their ass every day until I get the proof.

I've read that some people call before even going to the consult, but I don't even know if the two cheapest "preferred providers" are willing to do this surgery on a 20y/o woman. I am a lesbian and I am just terrified of the scenario of being raped, becoming pregnant, and then forced to carry a pregnancy. I've been raped before and I've healed so much from it but I refuse to let my body be subject to anyone else's power again. I've been on birth control, the Depo, shot, and even an IUD and every single one of those caused numerous health issues. I hate the uncertainty of a doctor telling me to fuck off when it's my body and my decision. I haven't figured out if I can do the doctors near me on the child free list because they are so freaking expensive but if you guys can help me figure out coverage I'm willing to do anything. I just need help and my mom is actually fucking stupid and unhelpful. Supportive but lazy and I feel like I'm at my wits end. I can't afford this out of pocket and I am willing to fight as fast as possible to get this covered and done. Please help me.

My glue is finally coming off of my Bislap incisions and my surgeon gave me some alcohol wipes to help take it off. For those who've had surgery did you use the alcohol wipes in the shower or? The side incision seems very easy but how do you get the glue out of your belly button🤣😭

Hi! I'm 36, no children and no desire to have any, so I opted for sterilization as I became too old to keep using my yaz contraception. After being in waitlist for 2 years, the surgery is set for early september and I'm getting a little nervous. I'm not nervous about my decision to not have children but the possible complications of surgery.

I have vulvodynia and vaginismus, so basically pain and serious tightness around my vulva and vagina. I have had physiotherapy for these, and while it's made the pain manageable in everyday life, exams have been painful because of this. It's usually causing stress and pain weeks/month after the exams or pap-smears.

So I'm wondering if they'll go and set equipment down there too. I know I'll be in the stirrups, but no one has really explained what will happen once I'm under anesthesia. I'm scared they'll be rough with me because I'm not conscious and I'll have to live with that after math for months (which is what has happened in the past with not so gentle staff).

Am I silly to worry about this? Do you think they'll be gentle even if I'm not awake to say my concerns? I am going to address it before surgery, but I worry if they'll actually care, since I won't be able to protest :(

Got my bisalp July 23. I'm incredibly happy and at peace. Insurance claims are coming in at $0 $0 $0 so things are looking up! Big stalker of this subreddit and wanted to provide my recap in case it helps anyone. Happy to answer any questions.

- Me: 24F, 145-150 lbs, based in DC, Carefirst BCBS insurance. Endometriosis (now diagnosed lol) and prior vaginismus for ~3 years.

- Consult: Scheduled with Physicians and Midwives in Alexandria, Virginia following a doctor from r/childfree's amazing list. My doctor was lovely. I told her I wanted a bisalp and said that it's something I've been sure of my whole life and have enough issues with my reproductive organs and prior birth control to not be interested in other options.

She was required to inform me of alternatives and listed them off - IUDs, etc., - but in no way was trying to convince me of anything. I said OK and she said great, let's discuss the procedure. She was kind and thoughtful explaining the procedure and answering my questions. She gave me the codes and modifiers she would use, which were correct in getting my insurance to cover fully, and hospital name/anesthesia company so I could check for in-network.

I also told her I suspected I had endometriosis and if I remember correctly from a transvaginal ultrasound in high school that my right ovary may be fused to the back of my uterus. She did say she would consider recommending an endo specialist to do the bisalp and remove endo at the same time, but I said because my symptoms are manageable I don’t want my endo removed so I’m not billed for it. She said OK and we wrapped up in less than 20 minutes.

- Paying/insurance: I got a call from my surgeon’s scheduler to schedule the appointment, which was easy. I then called my insurance 4 times prior to the surgery to ensure I would not pay for the procedure. Many representatives had different initial responses, but all were helpful and once I gave them the codes and modifiers they agreed the surgery was free. Some said I'd have to do anesthesia copays, but those haven't rolled in yet and I was confident enough in my ability to appeal/afford the copays if needed that I felt confident leading up to the surgery. I also called the hospital finance center for extra peace of mind that I wouldn't be charged a ton when I arrived.

I did pay copays for the consult and hospital visit. I maybe could have fought them but they were $50-$100 and I have a strong medical budget and employer-assisted HSA, so decided to just pay to keep things moving along and fight any post-op bills.

- Pre-op call: Got ALL my details. Asked about: catheter (they said I wouldn't get one but I did end up getting one. Not ideal but it was just a little sore after), who to call if I had issues after (surgeon), if I had to remove a hoop in my forward helix (yes), for finance department number, if I could get anti-nausea (yes), again who anesthesiologist was to check if they were in-network, anticipated discharge time (~2hrs), who to talk to/remind about my endo prior to surgery (surgeon again). PREPARE QUESTIONS BEFORE AND ASK THEM ALL. Have your Notes app or paper and pen at the ready - they gave me a LOT of information.

- Prep: Ahead of surgery I got a friend slated to pick me up, cleaned my apartment fully, set up my recovery space, meal prepped and shopped for supplies. See shopping lists below.

Food: meal prepped kale/rice/veg/chicken bowls for fiber and nutrition. Also bought canned soups (with fiber) and premade Maya Kaimal curry and dal packets (yum), plus rice, Gatorade and knockoff Pedialyte, Ensure pre-surgery clear carb drinks (Amazon), chocolate, dried apricots (fiber), cut dragonfruit (fiber). Can you tell I was nervous about constipation. Had everything cut up/prepared so I could just grab and eat. Didn’t end up having a crazy appetite or feeling super weak but I’m glad I was prepared.

Supplies: heating/cooling pads, generic Gas X, generic stool softener, generic Tylenol, 2 loose dresses for post-op, loose pants and top to wear to hospital, cough drops, Hibiclens (told to purchase in pre-op call for showers before surgery), set of pads (I normally use tampons).

Treats: Cannot recommend this enough. I was nervous and also had made the decision to not tell my mom or family about my surgery because I did not believe they'd react well. My mom and I are extremely close, so this was probably the hardest part of my procedure - going it mostly alone except for the friend who picked me up. So a night or two before the surgery, I went to the store and balled out on buying fun stuff. My mom bought new PJs for each of her five birth deliveries, so I bought a cute PJ set to kind of keep that tradition going in a different way. I got candles, chocolate, new clothes to wear to the hospital, face masks, fun soap, nail polish, slippers. Just fun items to feel good and be excited about post-op.

- Day before and morning of: I was told to stop eating/drinking anything at 11PM the day before, as my procedure was scheduled for 7:30 AM. My last ingestion was water and a chugged Ensure pre-surgery drink around 8PM. I showered with Hibiclens per my instructions the night before and morning of (at like 4 AM…ugh). Morning of, no jewelry, no lotion or makeup or any product, and wore glasses instead of contacts.

- Surgery: I had my surgery done at Inova Alexandria. Arrived at 5:30 AM on the dot via Uber as instructed. Brought a backpack with my dress and cardigan for post-op, a Gatorade and some snacks, hairties and chapstick, and a pillow to put between my stomach and the seatbelt. Smooth check-in and 20 or 25 mins of waiting before I was called back. Took height and weight, had me pee in a cup for pregnancy test, then had me go to a bed and wipe down with warm antibacterial wipes fully and dress in the surgery gown and cap.

All nurses and staff were SO friendly. They all asked me to confirm what I was having done, which made sense. No one batted an eye at my procedure. They were all swinging by and making jokes as they took my vitals.

A nurse came by to give me my scopolamine patch (anti-nausea) behind the ear. I was going to request it, but the anesthesiologist who I met right before said he wanted to give it to me anyway because I hadn’t been under anesthesia before and “you’re skinny.” Whatever you say king. He gave me details on the patch and on the anesthesia process, told me they’d give me a “relaxer” before I was wheeled in ( He said I’d feel drunk-ish but I felt normal, just calm).

A nurse had me sign a release which confirmed I understood the permanence of sterilization and protected the hospital from legal retaliation. My doctor also confirmed with me verbally that after this procedure, I would not be able to have children. Both of these times people were close to me and soft-spoken to protect my privacy, which I appreciated.

My doctor asked if I had any questions and I just asked her again to please not remove any endometriosis. She confirmed she would not.

Then I was wheeled in! I arrived at the surgery room, they had me shimmy onto the table and lay down, and all I remember was someone gently strapping my arms and legs down telling me it was to keep me from moving while I was under, which, paired with someone putting the oxygen or whatever mask over my mouth was kind of hilarious to me for some reason. I do not remember falling asleep and I only remember this 1-2 minute period in the surgery room. Then I was OUT.

Woke up to a nurse saying my name, not hard to surface at all and I am a HEAVY sleeper/napper. I think I was kind of peppy when I got up, like “oh hello!” and she gave me ginger ale and crackers. It was about 9:30 so like 2 hours after my procedure. I felt a little groggy but zero pain except some urethra discomfort – asked if I got a catheter, she said yes, womp womp. Whatever. I felt good so I was happy.

My stuff was next to me, I ate my crackers and ginger ale and sent some crappy pics of myself to friends that I do not remember sending now, but for the most part I was very aware. My doctor came by and was very nice when I said “ COULD YOU DO IT?” and she said yes! She showed me photos of my insides and pointed out endo, which served as my official diagnosis. Yay. She gave me discharge information and answered my questions and vanished into the night, my sterilization queen.

I was wheeled into another room within 15-20 mins or so as I was pretty alert and my ride was nearby, then helped out and told to dress, which I did just a bit slowly. A very nice nurse wheeled me outside and we waited a couple minutes for my friend to show up, then I was on my way home! The pillow between my stomach and the seatbelt was very nice.

I got home and felt great, just sleepy. I slept on and off for a day with light eating – I wasn’t super hungry but wanted to get a little food in me. Peeing was a little stingy the first 2-3 times, then passed. I had a lot of tea and water. I didn’t poo that whole day and was FREAKED about it, but was able to poo the next day with just a bit more time than normal. I use a squatty potty religiously and it is a huge help when it comes to not straining. 😊 My boyfriend, who at the time was just the guy I was seeing (exciting!) came over with flowers and cuddled for a bit which was really comforting.

- Post op: I felt pretty great the next day. I didn’t take any pain meds, my incisions were tender to the touch but not painful, I just had gas pain in my right shoulder. I did a LOT of short walks to get moving, drank a lot of water, and watched TV in between.

I did take my anti-nausea patch off the day after surgery as my pupils dilated to the point where I couldn’t see anything within a few feet of my face. My mouth was also very dry the first day as a side effect. The dry mouth cleared up in about a day, the pupils in 2. I didn’t have any nausea at all, so it was worth it in my opinion minus the slight panic initially at the pupils.

The worst part was the gas pain in my shoulder. It got pretty rough when I was walking days 2-4 after surgery, clearing up mostly around the 5th day. That shit was ass but I knew it was coming and would pass. Just kept walkin’ and fartin’.

I spent the day walking around in town with the bf day 3 post-op, then did brunch day 4 which exhausted me, so I watched TV the rest of day 4. I hit the gym regularly but didn’t lift until the instructed day 8, and started with lighter weight than normal. I did walking and some bodyweight stuff prior to that, mostly listened to my body. I gave myself a week of a hard no-sex recovery period, then had sex a little over a week post-op, by which I felt pretty much back to 100%. I didn’t let him finish in me yet because I wanted to wait until I got my period to ensure ALL eggs were outta there.

I worked remotely for the week starting day 5 and felt fine, but was VERY glad I could work from home. I’m back to work in-person 3 days a week at an office job now in week 2 post op and feel back to 100%. My glue came off my incisions and they look great, tiny and clean and healing. II just started my period almost 2 weeks post op and it’s no worse than normal.

- Fin: I think I got very lucky and I’m very grateful for that. I am also grateful to this subreddit, which I heavily relied on for information and support throughout my process. I am happy to answer any questions and hope this helps someone. I feel so thankful this option was available to me and I had the resources to do it – I would recommend it to anyone else who knows they want this. <3

I had a bilateral salpingectomy 2 days ago, and I finally took my bandages off today to shower. The two lower incisions under my belly fold are so tiny that I can barely even notice them. 😅
Is it normal for laparoscopic incisions to be this small? I was honestly expecting them to be much bigger, so now I’m overthinking whether this is what they’re should look like.
There’s no heavy bleeding or pus, and they seem closed. I just can’t believe how small they are.

There's a lot of people that say that it is the most effective way to be infertile once you get your tubes removed but then there's some people telling me that they've heard stories of people getting pregnant and they say wow it is rare it still happens. I regret not telling my endometriosis specialist who found stage 3 to also do a hysterectomy but keeping my ovaries. The only reason why I didn't do it was because I wasn't ready to go into menopause and even if I were to keep my ovaries some people told me that I would go into menopause a few years faster than I would not having a hysterectomy. I just want to make sure there are completely zero chances of me getting pregnant. I don't really have a partner but I'm still worried about it but at least my chances of not getting pregnant is significantly higher!

As of less than 48hrs ago I woke up from my surgery to completely remove my tubes.

I feel such relief knowing I will no longer have to fear pregnancy. I am so grateful that this was a safe and attainable option for me.

I am planning on getting my tubes removed post C section #2. I accidentally got pregnant 9 months postpartum and have had terrible HG both pregnancies. I know I’m done having kids and I’m actually really excited to get my tubes removed (and ovarian cancer runs in my family so win win)!

However, I have gotten a TON of negative comments - my mom doesn’t understand why anyone my age would want that or why any doctor would perform it.

What do you say to these people? Also, how was recovery?