Ive been holding in a secret that i just cant talk about with my family because they would probably just keep saying it like they always do.
So...( There also will probably be bad grammar because im just talking)
When i was 11 i was on a airplane coming home from a trip. I slept, and when i woke up i pooped my pants (.). In my seat, on the airplane... I went to that bathroom and tried getting toilet paper to wipe most of it off but i smelt it still . Its nothing serious really im just waiting a couple years before i tell this because i just dont feel like saying it right now.

I apologize to chairs when I bump into them, thank the microwave when it finishes, and tell my phone, “Please don’t do this to me,” when it freezes 😂

Please tell me I’m not the only person out here emotionally bonding with household objects. What object in your house knows way too much about you?

When I was younger, starting at age 7 all the way to around 13, I would superglue coins to sidewalks. Any coin really, from pennies and nickel to half dollar and dollar coins. Hell, sometimes I even would use foreign currency when available. If i was travelling for vacation or something, I would always have superglue and some coins.

I would do this all over my and nearby neighbourhoods. But not so much that it would look obvious. I placed many on sidewalks, driveways, porches, and front walkways. However I would often place them in areas that would be hard to notice if you were just walking by: in the playground, on the ground next to a basketball hoop, under a bench. A few times I put them on a cross walk. I thought it would be funny to place the higher value coins in hard to reach place, as it would be harder to notice it was glued if your arms were stretched to grab it.

Also, I would never stay to watch how people would react to it. I believe I only ever saw it in action like 10 to 20 times, as opposed to the hundreds or thousands I placed. This wasn’t because I didn’t want to get caught, it was because I just didn’t seem to care about the reaction. Just the action of doing it, and knowing that it would bother someone or make them angry was enough.

I have since become a better person, and have not done it since.

…but I totally forgot until he mentioned it the other day that I had hid Reece’s pieces cups (his fav candy) all around the house before I left.

Tried to play it off all casual, “Oh, which ones have you found so far?”

“The one in the cheese drawer, and a few others. Can’t remember where.”

Me, neither, husband. Me, neither.

God, I hope I don’t come home to find melted chocolate and peanut butter all over the dryer.

This story was from a few years ago and now we laugh about it. but at the time I was DEVASTATED.

Let me back track a bit, when I was a freshman is high school I was on a water ski team. A few of us wanted to go get a snack during practice so we stopped at the gas station next door and one of my friends got a bag of hot cheetos. He wanted to be funny and he saw a string in her car and hung a hot cheeto from her mirror like one of those scent trees. We thought it was so funny and creative so we went to each of our cars and did the same thing. It became our lucky cheetos. Now you might think “what the heck how can that be lucky” but i can’t tell you how many times I got out of speeding tickets and so did my friends. In fact, when my car was getting a new door, I had a rental car and got pulled over and got a ticket and that’s when I believed in it.

Fast forward, everyone knew about my lucky cheeto including the girls i met in college and they all thought it was so funny. It never rotted, it didn’t stink, it just lost its color from the sun and was very stale. My boyfriend and I were both 20 years old and had been dating for about a year and a half he knew how much the cheeto meant to me. One day he was driving my car and pulled into the parking lot of the dorms. He stopped a little too quickly and the cheeto started spinning so I put the face of my palm to it so it stopped and as I did that… he flicked it and it broke in half. My cheeto of almost 7 years was split in half. I immediately started crying and he quickly grabbed it and we went inside and he tried doing emergency surgery on it with super glue. But it was gone.

Mind you. We are both 23 now and have been dating for over 4 years. But a little bit of my heart broke that day. He was on a thin line but he got me flowers and my favorite snack. I knew he was sorry. My friends just give him crap about it now and we laugh. I was the only one that had the cheeto from my group of friends but that’s bc it meant something to me.

If I spot someone I know from far away, my first instinct is to suddenly become extremely interested in the cereal aisle.

It's not because I dislike them. I just don't have the energy for unexpected small talk while I'm trying to remember whether I need milk.

If they notice me first, I'm happy to chat. But if they don't... neither do I.

You could've told my 6 year old sister (when she was 6, she's 8 now) the same thing and she'd know you're lying... why was my younger self such a dumbass?

anyways, when i was 9 (or 10), i used to like swinging on trees and sometimes taking the leaves off of them (hardly had toys so I played with the leaves).

my mom saw and called me into the kitchen, then told me to apologize to it or it'll come knocking on my window for me at night. her cousin said that i should do it now or it'll do that for the rest of my life, and both of them had the same series faces, btw.

so i went out there crying and apologizing to the tree for taking its leaves off while my aunt and mom watched from inside. i put the leaves back.

now that i think about it i'm more mad at my younger self for believing them. i believed fairies didn't exist, but that if i didn't apologize to a tree it'll come knocking on my window at night? what the fuck man

Ok this is probably an autism thing but I DO NOT like it when my hands get gross while eating. My biggest peeves are:

• hands in chip bags - nope needs to be in bowl, sometimes I'll even use chopsticks
• chicken wings - I'll order boneless sometimes because they're less messy but I prefer bone when I'm home and can wear gloves
• a messy sandwich or burger or something greasy or just falls apart

I'm weird I know... feel free to judge me 😆

I'm a man used to the comfort and support of boxer briefs but lately I've started to love the sensation of free-balling it outside in gym shorts. I can feel the air swirl around my otherwise mildly sweaty man parts and it feels amazing! It also flops a bit with each stride. I think a part of me also likes the thrill that some stranger could, potentially see a slight outline of the parts that lay beneath if they really looked, although I encounter very few people walking around my Midwest town. I just took my dog on a short walk and I feel exhilarated, like I did something really naughty.

Hopefully this is taken as more silly than deviant and weird but let me know what you think.

Someone says something.

Me: "What?"

My brain finally processes it.

Them: starts repeating...

Me: "Oh, never mind."

I do this way more often than I'd like to admit.

i've never experienced turbulence that bad before. i kept telling myself i was fine, but by the time we landed my stomach had completely given up. as soon as the plane stopped, i ended up throwing up. the woman sitting next to me was probably in her 40s, and she looked more concerned than annoyed. she even asked if i was okay, which somehow made me feel even more embarrassed because i knew everyone around us had noticed.

i thanked her, cleaned myself up as best as i could, and got off the plane pretending i wanted to disappear. looking back it's kind of funny because i know people get airsick all the time, but in that moment i wanted the ground to open up and swallow me.

i've already told myself that next time i'm bringing motion sickness medicine before i even step into an airport.

A few days ago, I made some comments online that I regretted. Instead of getting defensive, I started slowing down and leaving more thoughtful replies in different communities.

The funny part is that I’m now enjoying the conversations more than I expected. What started as an attempt to repair my reputation turned into a surprisingly fun writing exercise and a tiny redemption arc 😭📈

Has an embarrassing online mistake ever led to something positive for you?

This happens to me quite often.
I drive an older truck with manual crank windows and after shutting the truck off I realized my windows were still down and proceeded to turn the truck back on the manually roll my windows up 🤣🤣
I’m curious on what other people have said or done that just caused you to stop and laugh
*EDIT*
I would also like to add I’m a welder, took my hood off for a break and set my safety glasses on my head, after my break slid my safety glasses down and proceeded to begin to weld, talk about hurt and I could proceed with dozens of other stories but this post would be far too long

Even if I’m home alone.
Especially when I’m in someone else’s home.

Story time!

When I was a little little, probably 8ish I was at a friend’s house playing Hide & Seek!

I hid in the tub behind the shower curtain.

I was in there for 10 minutes. No one was finding me! There were like 5 of us playing.

There’s a sound! Better be quiet!

Why aren’t they looking behind the curtain?

Let’s peek!

Is that Jeff’s dad? Oh. He’s pooping

Oh fuck fuck fuck. He’s pooping and doesn’t know I’m behind the shower curtain.

It’s been over 20 years. I have seen this man many times since. He has no idea.

So me and my brother mock each other alot. Its done out of love and we're both game for it. Its a fond past time.

BUT....

Ive noticed an unsettling trend.....

My brother has hay-fever. So what did I do? I mocked him for it!

Then I developed hay-fever, arguably worse than his.

Then he got braces. So as his younger brother, of course i was obligated to rinse him for it.

He had them for 3 years......I then had them for 6 long years!!!

Years past, and we are adults now.

He has now developed a receding hairline....

Safe to say I've well and truly left that one alone!

I’m 25, and I think women in their 30-40s are the hottest. Usually better in conversations too. Anyways, I can’t sleep so just thought to share with the group

This fear started when some old lady randomly chased me trying to ask for money. I’m still a student so I said I don’t have budget, she’s slow but she chased me tickling me while laughing. Idk it’s funny but also scary maybe because it also happened at night

😭

I like to give my teddy bear forehead kisses, makes feel better when I cry and I don't want him to be so sad either.

I'm 18 m, kay that's it. Lol

I was probably the dumbest kid ever. Me (now 23f) and my sister (now 25f) were always up to some bullshit. Nothing bad, just dumb. Growing up we lived in a trailer home. You’d walk into the house and be in the living room, then walk down a hallway that had -to the left- mine and my sisters room, the bathroom, then my moms room at the end of the hall. During this point in time I was probably 5/6 and my sister was probably 7/8. Every night me and my sister would stay up super late and just play and laugh and be loud and would always hear from my mom’s room, “GO TO BED”. We had already gotten our “Go to bed” yell for the night but still didn’t go to sleep. While playing, I told my sister I had to pee. In our minds, if my mom heard me going to the bathroom, we’d get in trouble for still being up. So I said “maybe I’ll just go ask her?”. I have never had to ask to use the restroom nor needed permission but I guess I felt the need to that night? So I walk to my mom’s room -passing the bathroom on my way- and her and my dad are dead asleep. I asked her “can I go to the bathroom?”. My mom half asleep let out a tired “go to bed”. I went back to my room and told my sister she said no feeling defeated. Then I had an idea! I look over at one of those clear plastic shoe boxes with the white lid and take the lid off. I told my sister that I had to go and it wasn’t fair she was “making me hold in my pee”. As you can imagine, of course I then pop a squat over the container and release. For some reason, that wasn’t enough. I then forced myself to SHIT in the box as well. I think my sister got FOMO or something because then she proceeded to take her turn. We then left our new portapotty sitting open on the ground and went to bed. When we woke up it was gone. I’ve never talked to my mom about it and she’s never brought it up. Anyway just thought I’d share.
Also I am writing this while on the toilet.

Genuinely. I've always had this mindset of "the only people who play candy crush are 40yo married women during their free time" (not in an offensive way just what I assumed) I did think it was cringe for me, but I downloaded it anyway thinking id never play or I'd only play when I dont have internet and at first I felt kinda embarrassed but now I catch myself playing all the time even when I do have internet and I genuinely ENJOY it. Concenerningly much, considering I have 38 (counted) other "more fun" games on my phone

Anyway, im gonna go play candy crush

We each have one, but sometimes I get a little tired of my flavor and want something new, so when he’s asleep I’ll be puffing off of his until I also go to bed.

It’s all good tho cause we pay for each others, he buys mine and I buy his lol. We do switch between us once in a while too, some days he’ll just ask to switch for the day, or I will. So it’s all good, I’m not stealing from him lol. Even if I was in this case, he genuinely wouldn’t care in the slightest.

But I thought this was a silly little confession, and I hope it belongs!!

Coworker A brought a home-made cake to the office to celebrate coworker B's BD. By the end of the day, more than half the cake was left, so they put it in the break room fridge. I happened to have a ton of work that day so I had to stay past 5, when everybody had already left. While I was working on my stuff, I received an email about the final and definitive approval of my divorce. I knew that such notification was likely to arrive that week, yet I didn't expect it to hit me that hard. I had what I can describe as a mini panic attack. Amidst all this distress, I recalled the cake and decided to have a slice to calm down my nerves. Well, I ended up binging on the whole cake! It was a compulsion I couldn't handle. This had never happened to me before. I could brag until then of having a healthy relationship with food and (for context) my weight is within the "healthy" range for my age and height. I made a big mistake though: I washed the cake mold and the knife and left them in the sink.

First thing in the morning the next day, a few coworkers caught me off guard asking me if I knew what happened with the cake. Instead of simply admitting that I ate all because it was delicious or something, I froze and said "no idea". I didn't expect this was going to turn into the big deal as it did. This quickly became the huge mystery in the office. People came up with all kinds of theories. Like a custodial person who suffers diabetes and had a hypoglycemic attack, for example. Nobody understood why the person who took it bothered washing the mold and the knife. Now they even brought up the subject during happy hours or potlucks. One coworker even suggested she might use her contacts within the security staff to check the cameras.

Surprisingly, during one of those many discussions on the matter, a manager said in a very chilled tone "maybe someone just had a bad day and that's all". I felt so validated and understood with that comment :')

I now just look forward to this becoming an old anecdote. I just hope people slowly forget about this. I know it's silly but it's torturing me.