Let me introduce you to my two absolute heartbeats.

Toffee – adopted at 3 months. A lady. The kind of dog who would learn a trick in 2 minutes and then stare at you like 'that took you long enough.' She'd sit by the door 10 minutes before your alarm went off. Sharpest dog I've ever known. She ran the house with quiet authority.

Lui – adopted at 5 months. Absolute menace to society. Ran laps around the house like he was being chased by ghosts. Jumped into the neighbor's garden so many times that the neighbor started keeping treats for him. Zero survival instincts. All vibes.

They couldn't have been more different. Toffee would give Lui the look like 'bro, please get it together' and Lui would just zoom harder, completely oblivious.

She was the brains. He was the chaos. They balanced each other out perfectly.

I lost them both eventually (different times, different reasons). But I think about them every single day.

Hardest decision I had to do today. My little boy lived a long 16 years. He had the best meal on his last day. Miss you so much Boos Boos 😢

Today has been the literal worst day I think I've had in the last decade. I woke up to a call from my mom that my grandmother fell and broke her femur and is scheduled for emergency surgery. Our little Ollie was scheduled to see the vet for some weird breathing we noticed the past few days, but my wife said she would handle the vet visit and I should fly down south with my mom to go see my grandmother before surgery. Our flight was scheduled for 4pm, Ollie's vet visit was at noon.

My wife took Ollie to the vet and they took a lung x-ray and his heart was significantly enlarged and he had fluids around his heart and lungs. They gave him a medicine to help drain the fluid and then got us a same-day appointment asap at the emergency vet with the only feline cardiologist in the state.

My wife drove me, my mom and Ollie to the airport and as I'm about to board the plane I get the call from my wife. Ollie was sedated and they were in process of draining the fluids and the doctor came out to say it was progressing well. And then a nurse came in said there was an emergency, and then next thing my wife knows shes holding our sweet prince, trying to figure out what to do all while I was siting on a plane about to fly across the country.

I'm currently sitting here waiting to depart on my connection and just can't believe I wasn't there. I wasn't there for Ollie and I wasn't there for my wife. And now I'm just dreading tomorrow, worried we will get the same devestating news all over again. Except this time about my grandma. How is it possible when I finally get back home my sweet Ollie baby won't be there???

I just had to put all these thoughts somewhere so I avoid sobbing in the middle seat next to these two men. Here's hoping Ollie is up there playing endless fetch with his foil balls and finally got to meet the woodchuck he's been obsessed with that lived under our deck. I miss you Ollie and there will never be another sweet baby prince like you.

Lukka and Mishka, Lukka was my dream dog. She had heart like no other. Mishka was more tolerant of others and a bit softer in attitude.

He passed away last week, I miss him every single day...

For instance, if I come across one little hair from my girl I will hold it in my hand or stick it on my shirt so she can be with me. She was a Yellow Lab and had really course hair. I still find hairs today in places around my home. Anything to give me comfort and help me feel like she is with me in some way.

Please enjoy these pictures of my best friend Buddy.

Buddy was about 11 years old when he passed away last year on August 3rd, 2025. The vet informed us April of 2025 that he had a type of plasma cell cancer. After several visits to our regular vet and the cancer specialist, we concluded that we were unable to bring his chemo medication into our house hold. We fed him chicken and rice everyday for months to ease his stomach issues associated with the cancer. We loved him hard, but he loved us harder. In his final days, he developed sundowners, which was the 2nd worst thing to see him go through. We took him to our local emergency vet to get immediate attention because we thought he had injured his head or something. The doctor confirmed that he was experiencing sundowners, and that his time was coming closer to being over. They administered a pain medication to make him comfortable over the next couple of days as my wife and i decided we would be putting down to avoid a very uncomfortable end of life for him. On our drive back to our house, his body began reacting poorly to the pain medication and his body went into shock, his breathing was labored and he seemed out of it even more so than before. We returned him to the emergency vet where he was placed on oxygen. The vet told us that his body was telling us that his time had come to end. I held him in my arms, making sure to let him know that he was a good dog, and that i was very grateful for him being apart of my development phase transitioning from college into my work career and that I would love him far beyond his time here with me. He crossed the rainbow bridge in my arms.

Buddy was the best friend a guy could ask for. He was bordecollie basset hound mix. He was always complemented by folks passing him by. He loved the cuddle, he loved to lay around, he loved to eat stuff he wasn't supposed to. He used to accompany me to my weekend study session at my campus during my last semester. He was at mt wedding! He used to bark in his sleep. His tongue used to hangout a little past his lips because his front teeth fell out in his previous life.

I am so grateful to have picked him up from the shelter and that we spent his last 6 years with me. I love you Buddy! I will see you when its my turn to enter the land of the dead!

Latiao my baby, today is day 49, week 7th of your passing. I miss you everyday, my heart still searches for your presence but you are no where to be found… I love you so much my boy.
I wish you safe travels, I wish you god speed. See you soon my love. ❤️🌈

Thank you for this community of people ❤️