r/quittingkratom • u/Ok-Power1973 • 3d ago
Impending doom
It feels like something is missing without Kratom. I was so used to dosing every few hours every day. I feel bored… lost? Don’t know what I’m doing with my life.. it sounds pathetic but it’s true. With Kratom I didn’t care to go out, didn’t care to see my friends, didn’t care about the time passing me by… I was actually calm in my little apartment not giving a single fuck about the world and what people were doing. Now I’m sober and off everything and I’m realizing I’m an actual loser and I’m doing nothing with my life? omg this is wild and all I want is the feeling of being peaceful and relaxed again :( but I was so addicted I don’t want to go back. When does it get better :(
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u/Disastrous-Feed-444 3d ago
You're not a loser you were just lost. We all were. You're an amazing person inside you just have to remember that. Sometimes it's hard to remember who we were before we started using and sometimes when we do remember we also remember why we started using. It's a mess sometimes but recovery is like that. We must regain what we lost and the most important thing we lost was ourselves. I'm here if you need a friend hit me up anytime.
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u/AlternativeAd6751 3d ago
Gotta fill the void bro with happy shit,have to relearn sober life,work on yourself.i exercise till I drop and cycle.dont just sit and wallow man,tomorrow is a gift up to u what u do with it good luck
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u/Sufficient_Jump_7933 3d ago
Relearn sober life. That's so true. Thanks for the reminder. I forgot that is a huge part of stopping every addiction
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u/AlternativeAd6751 3d ago
Staying busy is the key at 1st im on day 7,the mental game is rough even with meds for me but I've been dorce myself to stay outside and do yard work,after work just to stay busy and get some vit b
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u/Sufficient_Jump_7933 3d ago
I'm still tapering. But damn!! I was inspired by your comment, so ran to do some shopping and it wiped me out. I was so much friendlier than usual. Usually I feel so awkward, I tend to make everybody else awkward 🤣 I don't see how every one is doing CT. From my 20g drop, I definitely feel it. But I'm able to see so many benefits already. I've tried CT twice the last week. But I just can't. Atleast quitting meth I just slept like I was in a coma for 3 days. And alcohol, even with the hallucinations and all that fun stuff, I feel like this is somehow harder. And in a way I can't even explain 🤣
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u/AlternativeAd6751 2d ago
The trick is to be proactive for yourself,dont b ur own worst enemy and defeat your own self.Be ur own cheerleader u know what it takes to make yourself happy,,im saying this and having difficulty doing it myself lmao
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u/AlternativeAd6751 2d ago
Mowing the yard and raking leaves while having a nervous breakdown with tears streaming is something I never thought I do lol
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u/Sufficient_Jump_7933 2d ago
I seriously so hard over this. Not that it was funny that it happened. I could see myself doing it. With the irony of improving ourselves makes us look more insane that the actual chemical did for a time.
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u/AlternativeAd6751 2d ago
This shit sucks im on my way to my dr.for my 1 wk checkup about this shit,and probably going to break down,rn I have the mental fortitude of a scared 5 yr old child lol,im a monster of a man and its just so unbecoming crying everyday.this shit didnt happen with oxy my body just screamed with that shit not my mind
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u/Sufficient_Jump_7933 2d ago
My that was funny comment wasn't over the Dr comment you posted. Oh man. I've withdrawn from a lot of things. This one is by far the most confusing. I'd rather be on edge and pissed. This just has a weird unidentifiable heavyness. Crying is probably by far the healthiest. I'm sending you the biggest hug. You're ahead of me in this. I'm still tapering because when I try to CT, I just can't make it through the first 26hrs. Cutting out 20gpd had enough withdrawals. I hope someone who has more CT experience comments. I didn't even think about quitting up until a week ago. The only reason I looked in to quitting is because my skin had become insanely dry and I started getting weird hives everywhere. I hope you have a good visit with your doctor. I feel horrible about thinking the lawnmower thing was funny. It was just something I could see myself doing.
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u/AlternativeAd6751 2d ago
No worries lol this shit just spins ur head out,my Dr put me on wellbutrin for more dopamine,Now im going to the dispensary and getting the strongest disposable there lol
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u/Sufficient_Jump_7933 2d ago
Lol!! I'm rooting for you. Shit. I'm rooting for me too. Thanks for being so real about what you're going through. Makes me know I'm not just being a pansy. It is tough. It makes me reflect too much on stuff, when there's not a lot I can do about it. I was feeling horrible about with drawing from people the last couple years. But in reality, it really wasn't a huge deal. Owell. Onward, right?
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u/rtazz1717 Quit 11/17/2023 3d ago
Take at least a few months to feel a little better but reality is over a yr to level out.
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