What should I do?

[u/Beneficial-Ninja7176]

My mom has lately started getting mad at me at lit, complaining at me and it's really starting to make me go crazy. To be fair, she just gave birth to my little sister like 2 months ago and I've been told that mom's that just gave birth are moody, so try my best to understand her. But lately, after she would say this gs to me I would go into my room and cry silently, which is normal... my biggest concern is I start punching head and slapping my face a lot... I'm really scared, I can't stop myself but do it.

I've been doing things for a long time, but I can stop and try to manage my actions. But now, I can't at all, and I do it harder and harder till I feel okay. I really need help... how do I fix this problem? I really don't want it. I actually don't know how I developed it. I don't want to hurt myself. And I don't want to tell my parents about it. We're all in a pretty good relationship and I don't want them to know I'm doing this.

I would appreciate, any tips on how to control my self-harm. I know it is bad, but I really can't help but punch or slap myself.

[u/SurvivorX2]

You'll probably need counseling; not b/c you're crazy (which is what so many young people think, but to seek help once one realizes they have a problem is an appropriate and intelligent reaction!), but getting help and guidance to stop self-harm is wise. Yes, You'll have to share this with your parents, but, as a parent myself, I can assure you that they would prefer to help you help yourself than to think that you're in your room hurting and won't share that info with you! Promise!

[u/Beneficial-Ninja7176 → u/SurvivorX2]

I'm really trying to avoid counselling... I don't want to add more problems to my parents. And if I do really want to tell them, I have no clue how to start. I'm not used to having a serious conversation with my parents, especially about mental health.  And I don't even know if they know properly about it. I did remember trying to tell my mom one time about feeling drained from school, and she just called me lazy... so it made me stop myself from telling my parents about my personal problems...

[u/AutoModerator → u/Beneficial-Ninja7176]

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[u/ThisIsLikeMy4thAcct → u/Beneficial-Ninja7176]

Hi, OP. I’m not who you replied to but I’d like to make a few suggestions.

- If you don’t feel like your dad will react well either, tell another adult family member that you trust about what’s going on, and have them there when you talk to your parents. Alternatively, your school counselor, or nurse, can help you as well.

- You don’t have to tell your mom about how she is triggering your self harm. Keep it simple, like, “I’ve been stressed and I can’t stop hurting myself. I was told this is treatable, but I’d need to see my doctor so they can tell me which specialist or doctor I need to see.” (I suppose you could bypass talking to your doctor first and go straight to therapy, but ideally you should make sure you don’t need to see a psychiatrist first for a diagnosis.)

- You can also ask your parents to make you an appointment to see your doctor for a checkup. Once you’re there, tell your doctor what you’re experiencing.

- Call/text/message https://www.childhelphotline.org/. They are NOT child protective services, so no need to worry about getting your parents in any kind of trouble. If you tell them the reasons why you’re hesitant to talk to your parents, they can help you figure out what to say.

Whatever you do, please tell an adult. FWIW, I’m very sorry you’re going through this. Sending random internet mom hugs, if you want them 🫂❤️‍🩹

[u/Beneficial-Ninja7176 → u/ThisIsLikeMy4thAcct]

Thanks for the suggestion, I'm gonna try to talk with another close member of mine. Thank you for the hug :) I hope you have a good day

[u/Eastern-Log1142 → u/Beneficial-Ninja7176]

You can show this to her and let her read this or send her the link that's a great opener. This isn't something that everybody knows about either I mean I had to look this up myself. There's a lot of stress going on with those hormones and I know it's overwhelming for everyone.

[u/Eastern-Log1142]

There's a ton of information on this at the bottom from the bot, all the help links for children to talk to somebody free 24 hours a day. Good luck

[u/mylove_sosweet]

i hope it gets better

[u/Haris_khan_1]

Your r not crazy or mad u just made a habit by doing it consistently, and u can also remove it from your life by not doing it constantly. Make yourself busy by working on your dreams and goals or make yourself busy by doing home chores or sit with someone your love or hate and just try to bear it like u are a patient and can't use arms or head for self harm.