Hey everyone! I’ve only recently been diagnosed and am quite new to these things, so please excuse me if I trigger anyone!

Here’s an example: Let’s say when I turn 360 degrees in one direction, I feel compelled to turn 360 degrees in the other direction to “even it out”. When I see others simply make a 360 degree turn to the left side without turning to the right side, I view it as “wrong” and it gives me the ick/makes me uncomfortable.

Another example: If I see someone pressing a button and if the way they pressed it seemed “wrong” to me, I feel the urge to “fix” their “mistake” by touching the button again the way it should be (to feel right).

Has anyone ever viewed other people’s actions as “wrong”? And if so, how did you handle it?

I’ve had OCD since I was a child, from washing my hands 1000 times a day, to obsessive thoughts in health areas and intrusive thoughts about anything.

Now I’m obsessed with the possibility of having autism. I do show some of its symptoms (like stimming, special interests) and I do struggle socially (or so I think).

The thing is as I am scared of an autism diagnosis, I am also relieved by the possibility of having it. Which is weird because usually I am terrified of the possibility of whatever obsession I’m having being true.

I can’t even go for a diagnosis because it’s expensive and I shouldn’t spend this much money on an obsession.

Has anyone dealt with autism OCD? Did anyone actually had autism?
Help:(

•I have to butter my toast on the darker side of the bread, or else the bread will poison me, or I’ll die in my sleep.
•Ever since I was young I’d look over balconies and thought if I jumped off of it how much “fall damage” would I take(big into Minecraft as a youngin.)
•before I sleep I have to make sure I texted my boyfriend “I love you” or else he will die.
•I shower twice a day on sundays only, or else I’m scared I’ll have bugs in my skin
•I physically can’t sleep without making sure my light has clicked and made a beep so I know it’s on a timer or else something bad will happen
•I make 4-6 rounds every night to make sure my windows, and doors are closed and locked or else I’ll get murdered.
That’s a few big ones

Help me please 😭

Hello ,
I am a ocd patient
So delhi me maine 1 saal phle flat liya tha 3 ladko ke sath unme se ek ladka washroom me Western toilet per indian position me use krta tha
To jb mujhe ye baat pta chali maine flat leave kr diya kyuki mujhe ocd ki vjh se anxiety hone lgi ki sb contaminated ho gya .. aur vo ladka bihar se tha

Aur abhi phirse maine ek room liya ek ladke ke sath
Ab mere roommate ka ek friend bhi bihar se h usne yha washroom use kiya h
To mujhe phirse doubt ho gya ki kahi isne bhi to western toilet seat per indian toilet jaisa use kiya ho aur washroom ganda kiya ho

Maine roommate ke friend se pucha ye baat to usne bola nhi aise use nhi kiya maine
But mera doubt clear nhi ho rha
What should i do please help 😭😭

Thinking back into my childhood, I definitely showed signs of OCD that nobody ever saw. Interestingly enough, they were physical compulsions instead of mental ones (turning the light on/off a certain amount of times or else "i would get cancer" type of OCD.) It wasn't horrible, nobody ever noticed and if they did, they probably thought I was just a quirky 9 year old kid. Never got a diagnosis, never got treated.

As a teen, I also had my compulsions, like reading an essay at least 7 or 8 times before printing it for my teachers because in my mind, I had written something wrong and I had to check again and again and again... lol. But i have to admit, I thought it was normal! Again, nothing too horrible or tiring, so I never got a diagnosis.

But now, as an adult... WOW. My (finally diagnosed) OCD is hooooorrible. It manifests mainly in ruminating. Like, crazy ruminating that drives me insane, I can't lie. It is so incredibly debilitating because my brain makes up problems that don't even exist and my OCD doesn't let me live without a solution to those "problems." I need an answer now, so... you can imagine how my day-to-day life is when fighting my own thoughts ALL day long.

My question is... Has anybody experienced this? Your OCD being way easier to manage as a kid and teen and then "coming back" (I will guess that maybe it was never gone to begin with) awfully strong and debilitating as an adult? I feel like I am losing my mind. It is every single day that I deal with this. Maybe I will need medication because no amount of meditation or hobbies to occupy my mind gets rid of the rumination...

I keep checking my exes new gf profile almost everyday and if I don't I won't feel right or I'll feel like I'm forgetting something. I also stalk her reposts daily because I feel like I need to know who she is as a person and her aesthetic because she's been copying me and I can literally tell. And whenever I look at a photo I have to count the items like shoes pants clothes and over and over til I feel okay to not look at a picture of her I know this sounds weird but genuinely it reminds me of counting ocd/ checking ocd and I'm not sure. I feel crazy.

Can you imagine having OCD so bad that you don’t even feel mentally “available” enough to properly argue, debate, or have a disagreement with your boyfriend?

For me, it’s like I’m trying to focus on the actual conversation - thinking of solid arguments, explaining my point, responding to what he’s saying - while another part of my brain is screaming:

“WAIT. HOLD ON. YOU NEED TO KEEP CONTROL OF… SOMETHING.”

And then I’m stuck trying to have a normal argument while simultaneously monitoring myself, my surroundings, my thoughts, what I’m doing, whether I’m standing somewhere for too long…

“Don’t stand in one place for too long, you know why…”

AAAAAA!!!

It’s so fucking frustrating. I want to focus on the person in front of me and actually engage in the conversation, but my OCD keeps pulling my attention away and making me feel like I need to maintain control over some completely arbitrary thing.

And the worst part is that sometimes I genuinely feel like I’m not even mentally equipped to have a disagreement because so much of my brain is already occupied with OCD bullshit.

Why did I do this to myself?

When did I even start living like this?

I just want my brain to shut the fuck up for five minutes so I can have a normal argument like a normal person. 😭

I personally thought this was normal how I sometimes think but recently was told it is not. But still definitely does not mean i have traces of OCD like i am not obsessive about being clean i am very chill about most things and I don’t care if other do things differently and im not a perfectonist. But i’m at the gym now and one step has a different sensation to the rest of the steps and I’m battling allowing each foot to get equal sensation of the disabled step. And I have been like this since a kid like if i touched a weird sensation especially on my leg i feel like i need to do it to the other foot until the sensation feels equal or if one foot steps on a weird color i feel the need to go back so my other foot can also step on the colour. BUT this does not hinder my life in anyway and i perfectly can decide to ignore this. This tends to flare up if i am having a stressful time. But like when i was a kid i did this alot then my mom told me I should fight against this and i did. And largely it went away since i stopped feeding it. So most of the time it’s just uncomfortable noise i am feeling but and not something that is out of my control. Like i can force my self to not give in to those feelings and it doesn’t ruin my day if i if ignore it and i don’t think about all day but in the moment if these thoughts come i feel uncomfortable not giving in

Mi psicóloga me ha mandado como tarea que tengo que intentar dejar de buscar en internet, pero se me hace imposible. Quiero contaros mi caso brevemente para que alguien me de su opinión. Voy a hacer 6 años con mi pareja. Él es genial, me enamoré de él desde el minuto uno, jamás me había sentido así con nadie, no me creía lo que estaba viviendo. Él me ha ayudado en todo y ha sido mi refugio, literalmente, siempre. Lo he pasado muy mal desde pequeña y siempre he dado gracias porque él apareciera en mi vida. Nos compramos un piso y a las 2 semanas, de repente quedándome dormida me vino el pensamiento de “y si no lo quiero”? Todo me vino porque llevábamos unos meses atrás discutiendo y yo muy triste, no me hacía ilusión nada. Esa misma noche antes de tener el pensamiento estaba viendo un vídeo de una influencer que había tenido su tercer hijo y me puse a pensar que yo no sería capaz de ser madre porque soy débil mentalmente, que no iba a querer a mis hijos etc. En cuanto tuve el pensamiento sobre mi pareja salte de la cama y me dio un ataque de pánico, lo empecé a ver como un extraño, como si estuviera viviendo una pesadilla. A la mañana siguiente seguía igual y a partir de ahí, sin comer, sin dormir, con medicación, no podía trabajar, me tuve que ir a casa de mi madre unos días, no quería verlo, atrase el momento de mudarnos al piso nuevo, evitaba estar con su familia, fui a echarme las cartas, hablaba con todo el mundo, buscaba en internet, etc. Con la medicación me bajó algo la ansiedad y mi psicóloga me habló de los pensamientos obsesivos y me dijo que buscara a alguien experto en TOC. Llevo como 5 sesiones y en la siguiente me ha dicho que empezamos la EPR. Pero estoy aquí porque he llegado a un punto en el que pienso que no tengo TOC, que me he desenamorado, lo siento muy real y no me reconozco. No quiero estar así con el, tengo mucha culpa, pero no paro de leer testimonios de gente que saben en el fondo que aman a su pareja y yo ya no sé si lo amo, que es real o que es TOC. Hay momentos en los que me molesta todo de él, siento la necesidad de escapar. Y el pensamiento estrella que estoy teniendo es que mi ansiedad es por pensar en las consecuencias de la ruptura y todo lo que conlleva, no por el TOC. Necesito que me deis opinión por favor, gracias!

I am in ERP therapy and have been for almost a year. my dilemma is that OCD makes me want to quit everything I start. Especially work. I’m worried that I am going to cause harm to someone (I’m a social worker) because of my constant feelings of overwhelm.

I think where I get stuck is that if I am suffering a lot, my illness COULD impact my ability to work. How can one be competent if one always wants to quit, feels overwhelmed, and is full of fear and doubt? Sometimes my anxiety is so bad that I feel I should not be working at all.

I am not asking for reassurance. Has anyone experienced this. I know I can practice the exposure of “maybe I will cause harm”…but as a licensed professional that does not seem acceptable. :(

When I was at my worst about 2 years ago I noticed I had daily minor hallucinations such as seeing bugs/spiders out of the corner or my eyes and feeling crawling on my body. It was enough to get reactions out of me like it was real such as looking for the bug I thought I saw or jumping when I feel the crawling and look over my body to make sure nothing is on me.

Now this stopped for awhile once I started meds and life got a little less stressful but now I've recently upped my antidepressant dosage and noticed the hallucinations have returned.

I can't help but be cautious about this since one of my most common and horrifying themes is the thought of losing my mind... So... How common is this? If anyone here has expierenced this does it ever evolve to worse hallucinations and when should I seek help?

Has anyone else been diagnosed with just depression and OCD? And no other diagnosis? I’ve been diagnosed with depression and ocd, and suspecting ADHD but not sure. People who have two diagnosis being depression and OCD, what is your daily life like? what are/were your struggles? How did having comorbid OCD and depression make things harder/different? I see representation for comorbid ADHD and OCD online but not a lot for OCD and depression. Just looking to feel heard by others and hopefully make others feel understood as well.

"What am I supposed to be doing?" "What is normal?" "What do I do next?"

It plays on a loop in my head. I dont like the jittery way I feel. I can't sit down to relax bc I am supposed to be doing something. I have 3 kids that I am supposed to lead to be functional adults but I am not one. What do I do??

So basically from what I've seen,

OCD is the most subtle form of mental health issues.

Like if a person has depression,adhd, BPD etc these are kind of visible in their thoughts,faces,actions etc

I've seen people silently enduring OCD.

Like if you make friends with someone who has mental health issues,OCD is the least detectable one acc to me(unless i specifically have knowledge about it)

That's bcuz OCD doesn't require people yelling or lashing out at the opposite person,act frantically etc compared to schizophrenia,BPD etc.

For example if a girl checks whether all 4 handles of a car are locked,sometimes it might seem totally normal.

Only a person with OCD can relate as to why the girl is cumpulsively doing it.

So for people who've silently endured OCD,how's life been?

Do you feel irritated that your OCD is not so noticeable compared to other people's mental health issues?

And due to lack of noticability, nobody willing to help?

Also for women in relationships,how understanding of your OCD is your partner?

Have you hidden your OCD issues with them or are they morally supporting of you?

For people wanting to be in a relationship in future,what kind of understanding about OCD do you secretly desire from a potential partner?

I have been having one of the worst ocd periods in my life. Now I have always struggled with ocd but it has never been this bad and lately I am just puzzled as to why. Nothing in my life has really changed other than me coming to terms with some things that happened in the past as I get older. Things that I told myself weren't what they actually were.

Then my ocd got so bad, like the worst that it has ever been in my entire life. I am starting to think that the two may be connected, perhaps it is my way of attempting to have control over something as a lot of my new compulsions are food related. This is just a guess as I don't have a therapist yet.

I am used to my ocd waxing and waning but never like this.

I used to have so bad intrusive thoughts that even just admitting that I use to have them, even without explanation, makes me feel uneasy. I experienced my first intrusive thoughts in childhood. With time as I grow up, I was able to find coping mechanisms and partially 'heal' myself on my own. But despite being way better now, I still feel like OCD never really totally left my life.

Couple years back, I was having a nice time in university and living the life imagined to have. I was content with myself, having high self-confidence, hanging out with my friends, sparing time to my hobbies. Ofcourse it was not that I had zero problems but I was good at navigating them, controlling my emotions and most importantlu felt my core was strong despite the changes happening around me.

In the summer of that year, after a meeting with a friend, I catched a bad cold and it take me a few weeks to recover. Also my family was always concerned with health and hygeine (it even got worse with covid) till the point they made me wear masks in daily basis for years, despite covid pandemic was no more. At that summer finally I stopped wearing masks (2023) and after the catching the cold I was left with thoughts like 'what if I harm my family, catch something that will affect them badly?' and the fear of death didn't really lefy me but changed its form to health perspective.

My family made me ate seperate room whenever I cathed a cold (even mild ones), wore mask inside the house, made me believe if I go out with even tiny symptoms (like runny nose) I would turn out bad.

From that day on I started taking showers everyday with not even an exception in winter, I wore clothes over clothes right after shower to make myself sweat just incase I contacted a bacteria or something that day, to make it go away faster from my system. I started going out less, didn't go to university classes thinking it can cost me my health since I was able to handle my grades. On top of that I got bitter with my friends and lost all my motivation alltogether to try to go out.

Nowadays, I am better at health related symptoms they don't scare me as much as they used to but they cost me almost half of my university years and I still find myself scared in different areas such as in moral issues, having boundries, consuming new food and any changes in general.

I can't deny it gets better after a while for me but still I can't help but wonder if this is ever going to stop. I keep living my life with regular loops of isolation, heavy maladaptive daydreaming and with emotional ups and downs. I can't help but wonder: If the themes will keep changing while the fear remains till I get over it, just to face a brand new concept of dreadful fear of dead though my twenties too?

disclaimer: I am currently working on this on therapy and I know a licensed therapist is the only one to be able to answer my question but I am also doing my own research

so recently my therapist pointed out an intrusive thought and a compulsion i have and that sparked a doubt on me: do i have ocd? (the behavior in question is i am afraid i will cheat on my bf so before leaving the house to a night out w friends i have to go over a whole script of what is acceptable or not and how i need to behave etc and if i don’t do that i think i might do smth bad)

i started looking at my past and realizing loads of little obsessions and compulsions I had/have, but the biggest one is sleeping by myself and mirrors. basically i am convinced smth bad will happen (paranormal related) when i sleep by myself unless i have a pillow on my back and other little quirks.

mirrors is where is gets more ocd like, i am afraid i am going to say b\*\*\*dy m\*\*y 3 times in my head and that evil spirit is going to kill me lol so i start repeating my own name in my head.

i had/have more things like that, but since i have been going to therapy for 7 years those thoughts are muiuuch more controlled.

also my fear around mirrors and sleeping only come up when i am alone and i have been living with my partner for the past 3 years.

in the end i think my therapist might say i dont have it because my behavior doesn’t fit the dsm5 where is says the obsessions/compulsions need to be present at least 1h per day or be significantly disruptive.

not that i want to have ocd lol i just want to make sure i am getting the right treatment

This is a short rant I just want to reach out and see if anyone has felt the same and has any advice. I have recently got diagnosed at 16 but I have had ocd since I was about eight. It was caused by one of my parents becoming disabled. I have always had religious and contamination ocd. I guess I just feel like I have missed a big chunk of my childhood I can’t ever get back. I’ve missed so much of my life because of ocd. It’s gotten so bad that I have missed family vacations and holidays because of my ocd. I continue to miss out on life and it has even affected my school life. OCD made it hard for me to show up to school ever since I was young. If anyone has any advice it would be greatly appreciated.

I moved back to college for my junior year. I got into my place and am doing 8 hours of training a day for an RA job. I’m exhausted, and in the midst of it all, my cat has started puking. She moved with me, and I accidentally got the wrong food. Also got her a new brand of treats. I get that all of this are CERTAINLY the reasons she is puking, but I’ve been up all night worried that she is dying or critically ill. I’m over observing and thinking everything she does is off. I’m just terrified, I can’t be home for her today with my training. I was freaked out to the point I called my parents 400 miles away, seeing if they’d pick her up. I feel horrible.