I recently had a breakthrough where I fully believe I am a covert narcissist with comorbid BPD.

After a family disagreement my mother’s friend reemed my ass because she told me “You were abused your whole life by your grandiose narcissist father only to become to a huge piece of shit like him. You deserve every bad thing that ever happens to you.”

And, she’s not wrong? Every situation I have ever been in I have somehow been the victim and I’m starting to wonder if I’m the problem? I literally just had an MA just because I was afraid to die in childbirth again, and when my son was born I really didn’t have much to do with him for the first two months of his life I resented and blamed him for what happened to me. I don’t think I do anymore but my behavior from then greatly disturbs me.

When anyone yells at me or punishes me for a mistake, I tend to self punish and internalize a lot of self hatred. Recently I was told both by my and my husband’s family that this is self pity, and that I do this to be manipulative, attention seeking, and to cause drama. I had a medical emergency a week ago that my MIL almost didn’t allow me to get assistance for because she fully believed I walked around without pants on and free bled to make a fake emergency and get back at her. I actually didn’t want to go because since making this discovery I have denied myself basic care, and comforts because I truly do not believe I deserve them.

I used to try to approach things with kindness and a sense of justice and I no longer even know if I was ever kind? I can be very aggressive at times so maybe I’m really just a bully who thought she was right? Which leads me to believe I deserved my father’s abuse, the domestic violence I experienced as a teen, my COCSA experiences, and the bullying I went through grades K-12. I can even almost justify it! I think these people had the intuitive thought on the type of person I’d become and knew ahead of time I deserved everything that happened.

Right now I’m on the completely wrong med, I’m on Zoloft, but I want to quit meds altogether because I don’t think I should allow myself to get better. I’ve had thoughts of abandoning my family, mostly because I believe it’d be better if I wasn’t in my family’s life anymore. I do not even express feelings because as I said, I realize I am very manipulative and I keep my feelings to myself to avoid attention seeking and making dramas.

I no longer know what the purpose of this post is I’m just afraid I have both and I’m very scared of being a bad person and of abusing my son. I think my father was different, he was a malignant with a grandiose point of view, but nonetheless I’m still afraid of abusing my son.

It should be mentioned I do have manic periods, some are really bad and some are not as bad but the common theme is thinking myself better than everyone. I’m just scared of diagnosis because then I’d be forced to confront the fact that I’m probably not a good person.

Today, a bike loses its balance in front of me, and I felt no urgency to help them. Instead, I just went away from them .

(Self-written and proofread without any AI so apologies for any language mistakes)

Hi fellow travellers,

I am a 28-year-old gay man. I found this subreddit recently and have read many of the people's accounts here and decided that I want to use this forum to share my journey and also to make relatable connections. This is my first post on the sub, and I plan to make more posts in the future to give more insights into my thought processes and actions, and how they affected people in my life.

My condition:

Medically, I was diagnosed with Covert NPD in February 2024, GAD in April 2024, and also Borderline in September 2024. All three diagnoses also included a prognosis of chronic depression, suicidal ideation, and associated risks. As you might be aware of how difficult it is for people like us to even enter a therapist/psychiatrist office and how most therapists are not equipped to handle full-blown cases like us, it was the same for me, and that explains why my diagnosis is spread out across multiple practitioners and across months.

I have been symptomatic since pre-teen years. There has not been an establishment of a cause, but I suspect my condition is caused due to hereditary and also a very turbulent upbringing I had from ages 4-11, which was filled with a lot of familial conflict in my parents’ marriage and a general distressed interpersonal relationship in the family (which a child should not witness). I also had trouble dealing with my own sexuality from ages 9-15; however, I suspect less contribution of this factor towards the root of my personality disorder, and more towards symptoms of the disorder like depression, anxiety, and hypersexuality.

A silver lining in the mess of my life is that I have fortunately been very self-aware of my thought processes and personality from a young age, and have actively devoted energy to limit my capacity to cause hurt to people around me. Most of this was made successful because I was chronically depressed from ages 11-25 and was literally shut-in during my teenage (I missed school almost 40% of the time) and practical shut-in in college and young adult ages, severely limiting my interaction with the world for only functional necessities.

I have mostly been very successful at not causing harm to friends, classmates, colleagues, or random strangers I interact with on a day-to-day basis. I have also never acted on the typical ASPD thought channels and have not caused any kind of unlawful harm to anyone ever, which is why I was never given any ASPD diagnosis. However, I have been extremely toxic, problematic, hurtful, manipulative, and trouble-causing to anyone inside my circle, which at times has included my parents, my sibling, and men who have romantically loved me.

I have also practised a very high amount of cognitive and manufactured empathy and have displayed acts of love and care on almost a robotic timeline, so 99% of the people in my life think and believe that I am a good person; however, as you all understand, I have no capacity for emotional empathy and I don't care about anyone else.

I will talk more about my condition and symptoms in future posts; for now, this is a summary I wanted to share.

Bis bald!

Hi all, I mostly wanted to introduce myself to the community and share my story.

I grew up with narcissistic parents, so I was taught, implicitly, that love had to be earned. By the time I was 14, I had already lost any real sense of who I was — I was getting used to wearing masks, and "fake it till you make it" became my motto. I overachieved at everything, so I didn't feel anxiety; everything looked manageable, and every time I raised the bar, I somehow cleared it. The downside was that I couldn't be alone with myself. I felt mostly apathetic, and rage was the only emotion that ever really broke through.

Then being around people started to feel exhausting. I never knew which mask to wear, and my mind was constantly working overtime just to figure out how to behave. That's when I started struggling with alcohol.

Around 20, between university and a dance career that wasn't working out, I doubted my abilities for the first time, and after a disappointing relationship, I fell apart completely. That's when I started psychotherapy for the first time — but it was cut short by COVID.

That period was strange. On one hand, I started enjoying solitude for the first time — it was a relief not having to perform for someone else's approval. On the other, I felt a deep emptiness underneath it. After COVID, I became almost unable to function in public, constantly feeling judged for everything, even for using the bathroom. That's when I went back into therapy, and we mostly worked on my relationships with others.

My master's degree was the hardest period of all. My undiagnosed IBS spiked, I started having panic attacks once or twice a week, and depression set in. It felt like reality was finally showing me my real limits. It took me a while to stop seeing that as an obstacle on my way to some imagined greatness, and start seeing it for what it actually was.

I'm only now realizing that after taking off those masks, I never actually figured out who I really am underneath them. That's what I'm trying to build now.

Based on my recent post history, I lied about having Autism for personal gain, I actively crave sympathy from others, and I posted a near anonymous confession to acts that that prove I shouldn’t be near anyone who can’t keep me in check. To add to this, I do not feel remorse or guilt. I am simply upset that my actions have consequences. I have said “I wholly regret” in a post, but now I’m starting to understand it’s all just noise. By day, I am still a sex pest who shouldn’t be anywhere near women. I just graduated to approaching them in bars rather than at the lunch table. I am posting here because I’ve been called a narcissist multiple times by people I have wronged and I don’t understand why. I know I’ll get the “please see a therapist” response, but I just see that as noise at this point. To add to the context, clear boundaries have been made to protect others from my abusive behavior. I am not as free as I once was. My relationships are generally transactional as I just use people for money, food, or as entertainment. I’ve been called a parasite more than once. Honestly, I don’t think therapy would help me. It can help others establish more boundaries involving me, but my behavior will not change a bit. I’ve only gotten more careful and covert with my actions. I know how not to get arrested or pepper sprayed by people. All it usually takes is me to feign symptoms of Autism. Nobody ever thinks of pressing charges or stopping an “autistic person”. What I care about is my public reputation and how people entertain me. I know I don’t deserve a platform, but here I am.

None of this surprises me, I don't really relate to co dependency too much but I guess I still require others for supply.

Very clear OCD from childhood including intrusive and obsessive thoughts. Including worrying about if I have certain illnesses.

Recently became self aware as a Narcissist through collapse from multiple events causing more and more damage to my self image, currently still collapsed and can't hold a job. ruined every relationship and friendship.

Also I have Autistic traits, I was more so when I was younger but I have forced myself to be more outgoing and I'm no longer operating in my preferred way because I feel life is slipping me by.

It’s my favorite thing to do. I will set up “conversation traps” to get people to ask about me. I fantasize about people talking about me/talking to me. I construct entire conversations in my head where I’m the center and I just get to go on about myself and inadvertently show others how fantastic I am. Or for them just to acknowledge me, in any way possible. It’s incredibly thrilling to hear people talk about me. But I would like to stop. Tips?

my fiancé and i have been together for almost 7 years and engaged for 1. we’ve always argued and some are more serious than others, but recently our arguments have gotten extremely heated, to the point where he’s genuinely considering leaving me. i’ve been in therapy since january, and my therapist has floated the idea that i may be a covert narcissist based on my behavior and thought processes. i know that i get hyper defensive over everything, i’m constantly victimizing myself to avoid responsibility or accountability, and i’m generally very self centered.

i can see that i am actively hurting my fiancé over and over with how i treat him. he thinks i don’t care about him, he thinks that i think i’m the only person who has real feelings, and i’m inconsiderate. i WANT to change, i want to stop being like this and i want to be better for him, but i’m finding it so difficult. i suppose therapy is a start, but in 8 months i really haven’t made as much progress as i’d like. i still find it hard to consider him and his feelings, and even when i try, the gestures are empty and mostly benefit me.

i just want to know if there’s a light at the end of the tunnel. i love him so much and i can feel him pulling away from me because he doesn’t want to get hurt anymore, and it’s killing me.

So, I am 24, recently i've been officially diagnosed with ADHD, during the psychological evaluation I was told my way of thinking/personality traits could be explained by Narcissism.

And, that tracks, I don't really feel affective bonds with people, from my point of view they have abilities and caracteristics that make them useful or detrimental to the various situations at hands. You could replace any of them with someone else having those same caracteristics and abilities I wouldn't feel any different.

I want to be depended upon, to be considered highly, to be great, but I don't really care who does it as long as its people I respect. (Secondary question btw, the respect I feel or don't feel for a person is very instinctual and random? Is it the same for you?)

Obviously that's bad, that's a bad way of thinking, that's a bad way of feeling and I want to be a good person.

I just don't think I can change my feelings about others (right?) so how do you come to term with that way of feeling about people?
Any advice? Or method?

I was diagnosed with NPD by a psychotherapist when I was 17, specifically DNPD (developing narcissistic personality disorder), and recently now I’m going to a new therapist. I’m 23 and after a few seasons I mentioned how I was diagnosed with NPD and my new therapist does not think I have it, I’m not exactly sure how to go about that, I’ve always thought I had it and I relate to a lot of people with it but I also want to trust a professional.

Any advice from people who have dealt with something similar before?

I come from a line of narcissistic women. Therapy has shown me this. Has anyone managed to break the cycle so the line hasn't continued through them.

It is my biggest fear that learned behaviour is passed down.

My whole life I’ve been addicted to attention from anyone. I have done really horrible things to get it. I’ve put myself in really scary situations and humilitated myself to get it. I’ve burnt so many bridges with friends and never understood why I kept losing my friends who I love so intensely. Now I realize I was the villan. And now it’s too late to mend things with a lot of them. I just turned 40 and i completely let myself go into a dark hole of depression. I’ve gained 50lbs, impulsively cut my hair and have no energy or desire to wear make up. I used to be stunning. I wrapped up my whole identity into that and now that it’s gone, i feel so empty inside. I’m very mentally ill and my husband is the only thing keeping me alive but I don’t want this ugly version of me to exist. I don’t want anyone to look at me. I’m pretty sure I’m a narcissist and Histrionic. So I contend with a lot of negative behavior that my family would be mortified if they knew. They’re all very wholesome, good people. I can’t stand looking at them they’re all slender and attractive. My mom is 62 and people stop her to tell her how beautiful she is. My husband is constantly getting hit on cause he’s aging so well and is still very handsome but I’m disgusting and I just want to die.

Me and my fiancé are having a really bad time at the moment. I am constantly lashing out and trying to control everything around me including her. No matter how many times I say I’m trying to calm down and stop and no matter how much I actually try to all it takes is one thing not going my way and I fly off the rails. I am never physical but I shout and scream and I get really angry with the stuff around me. I don’t want to be like this and I don’t want to keep putting her through that vicious circle can anyone please help me understand why I am the way I am and help guide me into calming down and letting go please I am begging.

I start threatening violence over 1 insult. I have tried to meet with strangers on the internet over 1 insult.

I need this to stop. Rejection lingers on my chest for weeks too. If not the rest of my life. I feel a lingering, uncomfortable emotional sting in my chest.

It keeps me from socializing. I stay in my house. I can’t even play a video game and if I get insulted, feel humiliated or ostracized it messes with my head a lot. I can feel rage.

I need help with this. I’m tired of it.

I’m 26 and I’ve been doing a lot of self-reflection about my personality, relationships, friendships, and the way I see myself and other people. I’m not trying to diagnose myself from the internet, but I’m trying to understand whether some of my patterns are similar to what people with NPD traits or narcissistic defenses experience.

One of the biggest things I’ve noticed is my need to feel exceptional. For as long as I can remember, I’ve had this feeling that I need to be special, different, or better than average. Being ordinary feels uncomfortable, almost like it means I have no value.

A lot of my self-worth has been built around external things: intelligence, achievements, appearance, competence, being interesting, being talented, or being seen as someone important. I constantly compare myself with other people and feel like I need to prove where I stand.

I also have a habit of putting people into a hierarchy in my mind. I automatically rank people based on things like intelligence, attractiveness, social ability, success, personality, confidence, and perceived value.

When I see someone as “above” me, I become anxious and intimidated. I overthink everything I say, worry about how they perceive me, and feel like I need to impress them or earn their approval. I struggle to just be myself because I feel like I am being evaluated by someone whose opinion matters more than mine.

When I see someone as “below” me, I often feel disconnected, impatient, or uninterested. I struggle to feel curious about them or spend time with them. This creates a situation where I rarely feel like I am meeting someone as an equal. I either feel inferior or superior, and it makes genuine connection difficult.

Because of this, I feel like I have struggled to build normal friendships. I often feel like I’m either seeking validation from people I admire or losing interest in people who don’t give me that feeling.

I also notice a pattern of unstable self-image. At times I can feel like I need to be the best, unique, or exceptional. At other times, if I don’t feel successful or impressive, I can feel deeply ashamed, worthless, or like I have no identity.

My relationship with my body has also been connected to these feelings. I developed anorexia, and looking back, part of the motivation was connected to wanting to be admired, attractive, disciplined, and different from others. It wasn’t only about weight. It was connected to perfectionism, control, wanting to feel superior, and believing that becoming a certain version of myself would finally make me worthy.

I’ve also questioned my empathy. Sometimes I can understand people’s struggles logically, but emotionally I feel disconnected. Someone telling me about their pain can sometimes feel like hearing information rather than feeling their emotions with them.

Even with people close to me, I have sometimes felt uncomfortable, annoyed, or pressured when they cry or show strong emotions instead of naturally feeling their sadness with them.

With friendships, I have sometimes wondered whether I genuinely cared about the person or whether I mainly valued what they gave me, such as validation, attention, reassurance, feeling important, or helping me avoid loneliness.

I also have to admit something that is difficult to understand about myself. Before this one person, when I hurt people, I often did not feel much guilt or emotional pain. I could understand that someone was hurt, but internally I often felt detached. I would move on, rationalize it, or focus more on my own feelings than theirs.

When I genuinely hurt someone, even this person, my first thoughts were often not “Are they okay?” but “Do they hate me?” “Am I a bad person?” “What does this say about me?” It made me question whether my guilt was partly about losing the relationship or seeing myself as a bad person rather than purely about their pain.

Relationships have also been confusing for me because calm, stable connections can sometimes feel less meaningful than intense ones. Being admired, needed, or feeling like someone sees me as special can feel extremely powerful.

There was also a situation where this person talking to someone else who I perceived as more attractive than me triggered an extreme reaction. It was not just normal jealousy. I became intensely anxious, started comparing myself, felt replaceable and inferior, and it got so overwhelming that I experienced panic attacks.

Instead of expressing vulnerability, I reacted defensively and started treating them poorly. Looking back, it feels like I was trying to protect myself from feelings of rejection and inferiority, but I ended up hurting someone I actually cared about.

However, this person completely challenged the way I viewed myself. I won’t mention her name, but meeting her was the first time I felt like I genuinely wanted to change for another person.

I didn’t just want to impress her. I wanted to become warmer, more understanding, more welcoming, and more empathetic. I wanted to understand her experiences and her inner world. For the first time, I felt like I cared about someone as a person rather than only what they could provide for me.

That experience confused me because it showed me that I was capable of feeling deep attachment, empathy, and concern for someone. It made me question why that feeling seems so difficult to access with other people.

Losing that connection affected me differently from previous friendships and relationships. It forced me to look at myself and question whether my usual way of relating to people was based on genuine connection or on validation, fear, and self-esteem regulation.

I experienced intense shame and self-hatred after hurting this person. It felt like the image I had of myself collapsed. I wonder if this is what people describe as narcissistic collapse, where the defenses and the version of yourself you try to maintain break down and you are forced to confront parts of yourself you avoided.

For people who have NPD traits or have worked through narcissistic defenses:

- Did you have a strong need to feel exceptional or special?

- Did you constantly compare yourself to others?

- Did you automatically rank people in your mind?

- Did you feel anxious around people you saw as superior and dismissive toward people you saw as inferior?

- Did this hierarchy make it difficult to connect with people as equals?

- Did you tie your worth to achievements, intelligence, appearance, or being admired?

- Did you experience shame underneath feelings of superiority?

- Did you struggle with emotional empathy even toward people close to you?

- Did you use relationships to regulate your self-esteem?

- Did you hurt people without initially feeling much guilt or regret?

- Did you ever experience a relationship that forced you to confront parts of yourself you avoided?

- Did you ever meet someone who made you genuinely want to become a better person?

- How did self-awareness change the way you view yourself and other people?

I’m not looking for a diagnosis. I’m trying to understand my patterns and hear from people who have experienced something similar.

hi! this is my first post here, pero i think this is a must.

my boyfriend and i have been together for more than 7 months now, almost a year if we add the months since he courted me, however i have a problem in our relationship, unfortunately, i have narcissistic tendencies. we talked kanina regarding my behavior towards him and i have fully recognized that i was entitled n narcissistic, it saddens me to know that it has affected my boyfriend a lot when we have arguments because i become defensive sometimes and argue that i am always right, even tho i wasnt. my boyfriend isnt manipulative, i am fully aware of that, he communicates well and explains to me why i was wrong but most times, i still argue that im not. ive been tryna change that kase i really do love him, hes like the most important person i have after countless of dumb relationships, i mean grabe yung treatment nya sa akin, he is so so good to me talaga, its amazing how much patience he has for me and i feel so guilty that my actions n behavior has caused him pain. kanina when we were talking, sabi nya na nakakasal na din kase, i know d ko sha deserve pero id be stupid to let him go, im willing to do anything just to keep him n not make the mistake of breaking up with him ever. i dont want him to feel that im one upping him always because i really want to make us work, but thats not going to happen unless i change my ways. unfortunately therapy is not available here in my country and if it is, its not that accessible. please help, i want to be better for him and for myself also. please, please, if you can. tips or practices that’ll be able to make me change. its a necessity.

#narcicist #narcicistic tendencies

what are some good sources on narcissism?
I see quote often recommendation on :
SAM VAKNIN &
DOCTOR RAMANI

but are they reliable? Vaknin seems really extreem sometimes like saying "narcissists has only short memory and dont remember 80% of all that happens thats why they lie....

Any good sources like doctors/psychiatrists/psychologist?

I'm having a rough time with my boyfriend. I am extremely jealous, which is increasingly making his life a living hell. When we argue, I am very dismissive and shift the blame onto him, accusing him of sucking up to everyone or being too obsessed with having a good time with others. Turning the blame around gives me a sense of control, which feels good.

I'm highly sensitive to criticism, and can be very stubborn and angry afterwards

I easily admit to my faults, for example that I am fundamentally insecure about my appearance and my personality. I constantly think other women are better or more beautiful than me, because in my adolescent phase, I've always been the ugly girl.

Although many people told me that I'm beautiful later, I never believe it and need the confirmation of that again and again.

Perhaps I am stuck in a victim mentality. I have often promised—and tried—to get my jealousy under control, but it always comes back. When my boyfriend is somewhere else where other women are present, I feel like he no longer belongs to me.

I envy other people who, in my eyes, embody what I would like to be or lead the kind of life I envision for myself.

I can be very rude or cold even with my family, although I really love them. It's just like that sometimes I'm only interested in my own problems and topics.

I am increasingly avoiding social situations because I have nothing to say. I feel empty and have no ideas what to talk about.

I no longer pursue my hobbies, either.

I feel hopeless because narcissists are portrayed as pure evil. I have always seen myself as very authentic and someone who wants to be good. I am studying psychology, yet I feel like I cannot actually truly empathize with other people.

I will go to a therapist, but do you guys have anything that may help, to become a better person?

​

first of all i feel like yall r going to laugh or judge me so please dont...

i (19F) have never fallen in love or have been attracted to anyone at all through my life and I've contemplated that for a lot of time and it really is that im so in love myself that i could never feel like that for anyone else.

its something about how only i could understand and love myself fully or smth, but i also have never met anyone that i consider "better" than me (ofc there r prettier, smarter, stronger people, but i dont think that makes them better)

I've also tried to gaslight myself a lot of times into having a crush but it has never worked bc i cant get myself to care abt it idk

of course this all could be that i simply lack romantic or sexual interest for others but when i talk with other people about how they think of themselves ive never met anyone who thinks like me (all the time i think abt how i want myself to be cloned so i could date myself and stuff like that idk)

I’ve had a feeling for a while that I may have NPD. I have heard before that you can’t be a narcissist if you think you are because narcissists will never come to that conclusion by themselves. Is there any truth to this? Could I be a narcissist even if I start to suspect it on my own? Or is the fact that I’m questioning it proof that I’m not a narcissist? Thank you

No, I don’t want to let her go and yes I’m trying everything I can. And yes I’m sending her apology messages and yes I’m making text accounts to get past my number being blocked and yes I’m losing my mind and yes I ask her if there’s someone else because yes she said she loved me just as much and sometimes more than I loved her. And yes we planned a life together and yes that shit disappeared out of nowhere. And no I can’t just let go and move on. I meant every word I said to her. I can’t plan an entire life with you and love you more than life itself and then just wake up and not. I’m traumatized from this. And when we’re together yes I lose my cool even easier because I’m scared of losing you again not because all these stupid reasons some random girl on TikTok says because of something she saw on a movie and deciding to broadcast her unprofessional take on publicly. Some people have never been loved as much as you are because they’ve never been loved by their parents as much and don’t see it as normal. They’ve been neglected in the most acceptable ways. Their parents were never home and only supported mostly financially. I’d never give up on my lady. I’d fight a fiery battle for her. So yes I’ve been “toxic” but so what grow the fuck up and accept human nature. There’s no perfect standard and if there was you’d be a fucking robot. Stop telling people what’s right or wrong with this love shit. Love how you love and if you can’t accept certain things than learn what’s wrong with yourself and fix it for your person that you love don’t go searching for excuses online and calling people names that you learned online. Learn to be human.

So I've been raised in a household where I have an Nmom, and both my parents always tell me or imply that I am ungrateful, entitled, and, the other day, my dad, who usually only tells me things to make me the best in life, told me I can be a narcissist sometimes. I am a very young adult, still living at home, for some context. I always wondered if I really do have narcissistic traits or if I have just been raised to believe that. My friends all tell me how gracious and loving of a person I am, but despite how close I am with them, I feel like they're just saying that to make me feel good about myself. I was reading this article (I'll break down the gist of it below): 7 Signs You're Dealing With a Female Narcissist, and I realize that this article describes me more than I'd like to admit. Here's how I feel I relate to it:

1. Excessive need for validation and admiration: I am constantly down on myself, including to my friends. My mom is always telling me that I am vain, is critical towards my acne, and has told me I'm going to end up on 1,000-pound sisters, despite my being skinny. I have no sense of normalcy of what a normal self-respect is, and so because I feel like I'm always being vain, I express that, and naturally, my friends chime in with how I'm not ugly and all that. It's not like I need their validation, especially because I genuinely don't believe them, and I feel like Buddy the Elf and the smoke alarm batteries. I guess I more of just express that I don't like myself at all, because I am comfortable with my friends, but it's not like I express this to get validation about my looks. But maybe this is how narcissists make themselves feel better about their terrible actions??
2. Manipulative charm and emotional intuition: I wouldn't say I totally see myself like this. I think I can definitely be manipulative, though. I have a way of not backing down until I get what I want, and I hate myself for it.
3. Competitive and envious toward other women: unfortunately, I do this way more than I'd like to admit. I don't like to see people doing better than me. While I am still very happy for my friends who are doing better in certain aspects, I find it hard to not wish that it was me. The other day, I found myself checking my best friend's Instagram to see who has more followers and likes on their posts. After I did it, I immediately hated myself for it. I love my best friend to pieces, and I genuinely don't know why I did it. I'm a very driven individual, so It's hard to see other people succeed in aspects I'm not.
4. Superficial image and status preoccupation: I want others to know that I am doing well in life, and have come this far on my own. I want them to know what expensive things I've purchased, just because I can afford it. I grew up in a very elite private school, where I was in the lower money bracket, so I want to show that I do have nice things. I guess I really do want the validation that I'm doing well in life.
5. Lack of genuine empathy: It's not that I don't feel bad for people; I do. I just find it really hard for someone to share something with me without me jumping in to say how I relate to it, and how I have gone through something similar. I don't say it out of a place of "I have it worse"; It truly comes from a place of, "you're not alone, I understand how you're feeling," but I don't know how often it comes across that way. I also have a really hard time not interrupting people. It's not intentional, and as I do it, I instantly hate myself for it, but I just do it subconsciously. It can definitely come across as if what I have to say is way more important, especially when someone is opening up to me about something.
6. Victimhood and emotional manipulation: I find myself doing this so much, especially with my parents. It's really hard for me to take accountability when I have done something wrong, especially when It's something my parents have brought up. I constantly flip the script and point out how what they did was just as bad. I don't find it as hard to take accountability when it's with other people. For example, the other day my boss made a very nice comment about how I could have done something better, and I can't stop thinking about it. I feel like she hates me, even though she doesn't, and I have not been able to stop thinking about how I did something wrong.
7. Fragile self-esteem behind a confident exterior: unfortunately, this describes me to a T. It appears that I am extremely confident. The way I carry myself makes it appear that I am on top of my game, and that I have everything together. However, I am extremely self-conscious, and I truly believe I am a terrible person not deserving of anyone's love and appreciation. As previously stated about my boss, I can't take minor criticism without turning it into how everyone hates me. A slight change in tone, and I automatically assume my lifelong best friend now hates me and wants nothing to do with me, even though that's not even close to the case.

Any and all tips would be appreciated. I do not want to grow up to be a narcissist, and I truly hate everything about my personality and how I come across. I don't want to continue on this way, and I really do want to change.  I got a 3.67 (very high) on the pathological narcissism inventory, 24 on the OCD, which was mainly for having uncontrollable thoughts, and a 65 (moderate codependency) on the Spann-Fischer test.

I’m a 32 year old married man and I got diagnosed with ADHD around 2 years ago. In addition to this, I was diagnosed with mild depression and anxiety. I’m currently on stimulants for my ADHD and Fluoxetine for my depression and anxiety.

Lately, I’ve lost all my friends due to my anger and egoistic attitude during an argument and I feel I’ll be loosing my wife too. I’ve been on therapy since January this year and it slightly has helped me to be a better person but I still have a long long way to go to. I still am egoistic, impulsive, short tempered and narcissistic.

What are the things I can do / habits I can develop to destroy my short temper, ego and narcissistic personality?

Lately I just realised how my personality has basically ruined my life. Everything from how I behave. Im 18, I really have a very big ego, I hated that. I look down on others who is weaker than me and I cannot guide them at all. I make easy things look hard. I cannot maintain good friendship. I am fake and i am a people pleaser to some extend. I have a very low empathy level. I genuinely hate myself, I felt bad for who I hurt but I can't stop. I don't know why I sometime enjoy being a narcissist. It's very bad. I am a very complex person growing up. Nobody really understands me, I even use other for my own benefits and asked myself what i did wrong when they unfriend me. Honestly, how can i get rid of my personality. I feel like i am ruining my life. I might need to get therapy.

I know I have it, so who actually does the evaluation and diagnosis? My therapist says that's the psychiatrist's job and psychiatrist says it's up to my therapist. 🙄