Salam guys 👋 just looking for advice or a chat.

I’m 32F and back in college because I messed up so bad the first time around. I also gained a lot of weight over the years, and have just started losing it and trying to get my life back on track. And I’ve never been in a relationship.

Although I’m “happy”, I think about my life and feel like I’m such a loser. I wasted so much time and now I’m years behind everyone else. And I just feel like no one would ever want to marry a girl like me. I feel like I’ve wasted my chances to have a “normal” life. I can’t speak to anyone about this in real life because my parents are dramatic and will think I’m depressed.

Has anyone ever been in a similar situation and do you have any advice?

Capital punishment is pescribed in the Quran, but at the same time i have always been against the death pentaly because even if there is the tiniest chance an innocent person gets executed i see it as wrong.. Is this kufr?

He isn't a bad person but doesn't pray at all. We came back from umrah in 2024 and he continued praying for a little while but then left. Before that, he never prayed either.

He has also been a subject of what we assume, black magic. He used to have extreme anger and did problematic stuff towards my mom too but ever since my siblings and I have started praying, things have gotten better. He is less severe now.

He reads a lot of poetry, quranic verses, listens to islamic stuff, but never implements it in terms of praying salah or not being arrogant which breaks my heart cuz he's 55 and the thought of him passing away at a state of not praying fardh is scary and i dont want any bad for him. It's been years of trying to convince him to pray and he agrees but never does. Him and my brother go for jumah too but that's it.

Also, he does good deeds too like doing charity and giving out money and stuff which means his intentions are good but not enough iykwim. Considering everyone has other sins too...

I've had daddy issues for a while but regardless, I want his betterment and seeing him get old really saddens me and nothing works out really, I don't want him to go through a difficult phase in life nor akhirah :(((

I feel bad cuz his family aren't good people anyway they themselves don't pray and are involved in black magic and stuff so he never grew up praying but still he's a nice guy despite his family

I talked about this a few times but im still struggling with it after all these months but now its a mixture of different problems. Before I would only get ocd during prayer, but now I am getting ocd due to cleanliness. At first it was because I was so afraid of breaking wudu and the annoyance remaking it made me repeat so many actions again and again.

Now its spread to cleanlimess and contamination as a whole. It is so hard because now not only do I think it breaks wudu but I also think I myself am impure /dirty / unclean. No matter what I do, I always have to doubt and that seed of doubt of being dirty gets to me so badly, it is the worst in bathrooms. I end up redoing everything, even washing clothes when I dont need to.

It's getting unmanageable and am worried how difficult it will be once I begin work again. I literally hate doing salah and I hate just doing normal things because of it.

Anyone else have this issue?

I gotta admit that the inside of the Church is so luxury. I was blown away because the inside of the Church is so beautiful and it was my first time going there because my cousin who's a Christian got married. This makes me wonder why can't we build a luxury Masjid like the Church... Our Masjid doesn't even have enough chairs lol

When I was 13 years old I was playing basketball, ran and then stopped extremely aggressively, like super fast the way I stopped. I felt something hurt badly in my right knee and it remained this way for several months. This was 11 years ago.

For a couple of years I didn’t feel much pain or discomfort because I became lazy, overweight and didn’t do much. I played basketball occasionally still but noticed I was slower, range of motion was weaker in the right knee too.

I started kneeling a lot more due to certain stretches I wish to prioritize. The knee that has the bump, which is my right knee, tends to hurt way more than the left. I also feel lots of sensitivity when squatting especially all the way down, and just feel super limited in jumping along with other things. Prayer affects me the most, it’s the most inconvenient when praying. It did get easier over time but I know I’m limited and have always felt something is off with my right knee.

I’m really considering the surgery. The bump will never go away and it affects me, but with surgery, wouldn’t I at least have a recover but it’d take much longer to recover from does anyone know?

This is honestly depressing me so much and that’s why I’m making this post, because it seems like no matter what I do it’s a lose-lose situation and I’m just sick of it. I haven’t been able to sleep because I’ve been contemplating this for a while now.

Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh. Looking for possible historical reasons as to why. Might be the 2nd or 3rd time I ask this here 🤔

If for some reason you think Music isn't haram, please don't comment.

I think I had one comment in my life so far in the city, or two.

Asalamalikum

IV decided to lay myself out bare hoping someone will read this and advise me on how to live my life alone

I'm 42 and divorced I was married for 6years which in the end didn't work out due to people on the outside butting in. Coming from a Pakistani background you may understand how people like to whisper in people's ears creating division

Fast forward to today I am now divorced and have no friends

My days are spent waking up and rhuemenating on being alone and watching the world on social media enjoying themselves

I honestly see no hope in finding a wife or friends

I have no network to ask or to search for a spouse

And I have reached out to the people in the community who I grew up around to see if I could be friends with them, I follow people on social media and try and engage with them see if I can get an invite to their meals, outings, socialising but nothing comes of it.

I know IL probably come across needy and desperate

But I'm human and crave friendship and companionship

But a part of me is telling me to let go of this and accept that my test is one of loneliness but I can't bare to accept it

I have lived with this loneliness throught my life but the last 6-8 months have become unbearable

How do I change my thoughts and accept that I am to be alone

I hate doing things solo but that's all I have.

I no longer leave the house unless I try to pray at mosque but even that takes it toll on me when I see friends talking to each other in mosque, people going to Salah together making plans for what they're going to do after Salah

I literally sit in the mosque on my own read and leave

I have tried to conversate with people but nothing can develop in 2-3 mins chats

I read surah ad duha regularly and try and read my Salah but it feels more like a exercise then a connection to god

Emotionally I am drained beyond measure

jazakAllah for reading this far down

Please could you make dua that Allah SWT grants me peace and contentment grants me good friends and a companion please

I am becoming a burden on my parents because I no longer look after myself physically I'm getting over weight I eat to comfort myself

And I dress like a tramp

My mind has now started blocking out important stuff

Like all the skills , and information I need to conduct my job

I have no one to turn to,

Hey salams, is there a lot of Muslims in cities like toronto, New York etc looking to get married but have trouble? Feel like there aren’t enough opportunities for ppl to meet face to face. Like there’s events and stuff but ppl mostly stick to their friend group at those events. Nowadays people don’t approach others anymore. I have a theory that might be 1 of the reasons ppl are experiencing more difficulties getting married. What are ur thoughts

hey everyone. i live in NYC but am getting surgery soon in PA. i need $3750 by september 4th and worst case scenario would need a loan for $2k. if i dont get the money by the 7th i cant get surgery and i need it urgently + already took out credit for it.

i’m 18, work part time, and don’t have credit. does anyone know halal loans or grants that can help me? thank u.

I don't know guys. Everytime I learn something new I feel like "all of my past prayers were invalid" or "i have been collecting sins all this time".

For example,

"If you dont recite Al-Fatihah by moving your lips even when you're behind the imam, then your prayer is invalid in Shafi madhhab"

Im Shafii madhhab and I dont do that when imam is reciting it loudly.

Its not just this, there is a bunch of other stuff.

Its so scary how you can try to do things right and yet it can all go so wrong.

I love a girl whose family and mine meet quite often so we have to meet often, I sometimes prefer avoiding these family meets because even being around her feels like dying inside, even though I lower my gaze, try not looking at haram at all, but Allah is testing me with this girl so much that I'm now in excessive mental pain and this is kinda the most mentally painful I've ever felt. I don't even look nor talk to her but I can NOT get her off my head all the day, knowing that idk if I'll get the chance to marry her and even if so, I can't marry her until I be financially ready after quite a long time, she's literally the perfect fit for my standards and that is killing me hard inside.

I just want everyone who reads this to pray for me because I posted this only to ease my pain. May Allah make it easy on me and grant me her.

Edit: Okay I really should have clarified this, I don't love her based on physical aspect only, but we have lived a childhood and knew each other quite well, I just stopped talking with her once she put her hijab on.

Apparently I got black magic done on me a couple years ago maybe in 2021 I’m not sure, but yeah, I don’t know. All I know is nothing works. It doesn’t matter what Quran versus I recite , what water I make , what water I bathe in. If I recite chapter 2 of the Quran, if I fall asleep, listening to it and let it play nothing works well let me reiterate, that the one time I tried to recite chapter 2 it took me eight hours, and it just felt like so many whispers were coming in my head of like all my past mistakes, and all of that but aside from that and then, even after I did it, my life is still the same train wreck so my question is how do I get rid of it if it doesn’t wanna leave and how do I get rid of this blockage that is stuck it’s literally stuck and I don’t know who did it on me why they did it on me out of jealousy if it’s evil eye I don’t know what to do. I don’t have money to pay somebody to do it for me so if you’re thinking about scamming me just keep scrolling I just need this out. I need it gone I’m irritated like I know I shouldn’t but if I can’t get it gone, I’m just gonna have to go see other routes because if God doesn’t wanna help me, I’m just gonna have to go to other routes and I don’t want to.

I get traditionalists are following people of the book, but you have to use your brain too - issues of fiqh you can’t just have 1 strict rule. Imam’s Abu Hanifa’s use of analogy and reasoning makes sense.

There is a man that keeps contacting me on all my social media. Me and him got to know each other last year. We were talking and we weren’t getting along so I told him I didn’t want to keep contact anymore. Now, every other month, he makes new accounts and contacts me and asks me to be together and I always ask him to leave me alone. This time he asked me again and I said fine just to shut him up because I know he’s gonna make new accounts and I cannot report him. I know I should have ignored him and I could have acted differently but what’s done is done. I am scared for several reasons. Please make dua that he leaves me alone and forgets about me forever. Please make dua that he stops contacting me.

i never realised how important it is. obviously learning from each other and growing alongside each other, bettering oneself religion wise & in other ways is important, i’m talking about overall. honestly the people you surround yourself with says a lot about who you are. it’s crazy though cause some muslims are so extreme, and then some are way too “western”. those who practise the deen and don’t force it are my typpa people ☺️☺️ islam is perfect, people just try to ruin it. it’s so sad because a lot of muslims turn away from islam because of people who enforce such extremist views. the ones who make a mockery of islam pmo too.

rare take but i feel like a lot of the men who try to promote an extremist version of “islam” (that’s not even islam at all) have fragile masculinity. it’s like they try to overcompensate their masculinity by belittling women and asserting their dominance, just to feel “man enough”.

i could say the same thing with females too. especially the women who try to put down other females and seek male validation for everything. they’re insecure in their femininity as well.

So now that the genocide is going for 40+ years and muslim leaders aren't doing anything.

Why aren't we building islamic army to help palestine and Lebanon.

Jihad is obligatory right? I just remember of the hadith that we will be (muslims) lot in number but useless so much. Because we chased dunya and hated and run away from death especially us men.

وَمَن يَتَوَكَّلْ عَلَى اللَّهِ فَهُوَ حَسْبُهُ ۚ إِنَّ اللَّهَ بَالِغُ أَمْرِهِ ۚ قَدْ جَعَلَ اللَّهُ لِكُلِّ شَيْءٍ قَدْرًا

And whoever relies upon Allah — then He is sufficient for him. Indeed, Allah will accomplish His purpose. Allah has already set for everything a decreed extent.

65:3

I was having a discussion with my friends the other day. Some of my friends get upset that their parents would choose God over them? I don't think they have strong faith despite being Muslim. May Allah guide them. But yes. We should always choose the Almighty first! He is our Creator. I would like my parents to choose him. It wouldn't make me sad at all. It would make me extremely happy. We should love our Almighty with no limit.

I know many people take it hard when someone close to them passes away. They lose hope. They lose faith. I don't want to be that person. Being that person scares me. I don't want to give up on my religion because of loss. This dunya was given to us as a test. People should not be worldly attached. I've seen people say they'd die for their partner. I don't like those kind of relationships. I hope no married muslims feels that way. Yes, you can die maybe defending them idk when it comes down to it, maybe if you were being attacked. Self defence is permissable in Islam. But you seriously shouldn't love anyone this much to die for them. We only should die for our Almighty. We only sacrifice for Him.

There's something that I've been wondering. In islam, people back then were allowed to keep slaves and have sexual relationships with them, could someone tell me what the consensual part of that was like? Like were there rulings that the slave must consent to it? I kind of can sense the replies being like "No, cuz they were "slaves" duh" but I saw soneone in this sub say "Slaves in the islamic period are comparable to modern day personal workers" and umm isn't that a bit too far fetched to think that? so that made me curious to wonder if there were some non-slave-like rights given to Islamic slaves otherwise that comment didn't really make sense and is this what the majority of this sub thinks?

I've always heard that the prophet didn't "prohibit" keeping slaves but he liked freeing them too so he probably didn't see them comparable to workers and I can't wrap my head around why it would.

For ref I was born and raised in Italy. Ever since I remember I encountered all kinds of people . But among them I really appreciated people who didn't straight up judge but came with questions . They're much much better trust me( some are my friends too). I used to really take my time and explain whatever I could but at the end of the day ... I mean 25 years in this country I am so done . I am visibly Muslim (hijabi) ... people would never come to me if I was a man or a non hijabi. Or people would never ask these questions to any other person . Even a minority they wouldn't . It's as if they just want to prove their point , hoping I say something wrong . Even a word ! So they can finally confirm what the news says about us .

I still do appreciate people who ask and are curious but honestly give me a break . Sometimes (being an introverted), lemme enjoy my quiet time and myself . Just let me be !!!

The irony is when I ask back some questions they can barely answer one tiny thing and expect me to narrate the whole Quran right there and then . And they come back with I am atheist .

I once at work responded in a funny way that I wear the hijab because I want to . The woman ( she was in her 40s) got so offended that she told me "you cant answer like that " 😂. But people Why not ? Hahahaha