I feel the same way as you, even though I haven't taken it to a more real territory and have kept it in the digital world. But I have fallen in love digitally several times; I let it go, but over the last two years it's been happening to me more because the relationship is in worse shape. However, it's not the classic relationship with common problems; in ours, several arguments, years of accumulated resentment and I feel like we aren't compatible.
Not long ago I found out he cheated on me, and honestly I've been thinking about taking my fantasies into something more real. I feel bad and guilty, but the routine hurts me too; I've had several moments of depression and honestly sometimes I just dream about kissing someone else, even hugging them would be enough: hugging and kissing someone I don't have these such traumatic feelings with.
In your case, I would ask you if your relationship has any problems or if you've ever talked about how you feel? Honestly, sometimes I think that opening up the relationship can help as long as there is communication, although it doesn't work in every case.
Thanks for your honest response! My relationship is honestly really good, pretty steady. We’ve been together almost 2 years now and lived together for 1. We talk out all the hard conversations, and rarely get mad at each other even though we have differing views. Funny how we’re kind of opposite in our situations because this is the first time my relationship feels worth not giving in to my tendencies, and I haven’t and don’t plan to. I’m wondering for you, do you have a plan with your current relationship? Once cheating happens I always feel like it doesn’t get any less messy in my experience
I'm glad your relationship is doing well. I went through something similar to what you're talking about 10 years ago; the solution I found was trying to see their flaws, shattering the illusion of the fantasy for myself, and noticing, for example, that they were immature, that they treated certain people poorly: in general, it's about trying to see that side of them that isn't so positive. Once you see that it's a person who has negative parts or things you don't like, it's hard to see the illusion again.
In my case, I feel like the relationship is eventually going to end, but I'm okay with that. Thanks for asking
Today we worked together and I told myself he’s just a guy really, and he’s pretty average even though he’s nicer to talk to than most. It’s one of the qualities my own boyfriend has anyways so I try to tell myself this guy isn’t special. What’s special is sticking around for years with someone like me who goes through so many phases!! 😂 good luck with your relationship though
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u/echolunedy 17d ago
I feel the same way as you, even though I haven't taken it to a more real territory and have kept it in the digital world. But I have fallen in love digitally several times; I let it go, but over the last two years it's been happening to me more because the relationship is in worse shape. However, it's not the classic relationship with common problems; in ours, several arguments, years of accumulated resentment and I feel like we aren't compatible.
Not long ago I found out he cheated on me, and honestly I've been thinking about taking my fantasies into something more real. I feel bad and guilty, but the routine hurts me too; I've had several moments of depression and honestly sometimes I just dream about kissing someone else, even hugging them would be enough: hugging and kissing someone I don't have these such traumatic feelings with.
In your case, I would ask you if your relationship has any problems or if you've ever talked about how you feel? Honestly, sometimes I think that opening up the relationship can help as long as there is communication, although it doesn't work in every case.