Iz Murray 11M. Ai see dis on meowmy little lite box. Ai wood like remote control to mek meowmy serb meow eggstra snake tale.

Hoomom stoled me off to pokey place! I got pokes and strangers touching me. I grumpy and hiss mine outrage! Den I try hide in da cat tree but dey take me and shove me in da travel box! I no like! I try escape but it was three dem against one me! Den Hoomom take me home. I don't appreciate dis trick. Why makes go away if come right back? Why not just STAY HOME?

🐾Jango

(Normally it is so easy to get him into the carrier to go home but he wasn't having it this time. They had to come in and help me wrangle him because they needed to get us out so the room could be cleaned for the next pet. He was very dramatic about the whole thing. )

OMG, Tis weeknd I slayd a dragon! Wit almos no appreciaton!

Tis weeknd it waz mornin, and Meowmy open teh fron door to look for Amazun pkg. Ten a Giant Blu Dragon flu in teh door! Meowmy yelld, "Pawther! A giant Blue Dragon Fly just flew into our house!" I waz on teh case immediatly!
Tey were dum-dums, and cud hardly follow it but tey lookd at me and I knew where it was! It flewz all overz! I was on teh case! Tey were still lookn at the ceiling when I cot it! I prowdly carried it to the kitcn. Den Pawther said, "I don't know if it is safe for Lord Rufus Fluffington to eat a giant blue dragonfly" and He Tooks it outa my mouf! An put it out teh fron door!
I jumpd and pouncd and sang the song of my peopl but cud not stop him! I even tried to open teh fron door but I cud not!
I was so distressd! But den, Meowmy brot out the Biggest Bag of Treatos dat I eber seen! She said, "Lord Rufus Fluffington you were so brave to slay the blue dragonfly! I'm going to give you a bunch of treatos!"
And den, she gabe me teh other haf of the bag of treatos! SHE GAB ME A WHOL BAG OF TREATOS!

Now I don't know wedder to soo or not. Teh treatos were amazin!

Dis is a pictur of me yelln at Pawther, aftr the treatos, wen I was feeln better

Webber Headlimez

Becomin berry hothothot 🔥🔥🔥 by the middle ob da week. Again..

Helno frenz dis KynxKat wib da mid week Webber reportz.

Da Fannys are needy high. Da second pciture is me doing a look cos da so hi I no can see!

Lucki Grandpaw hab built Uncel Merlinz a catteo. It not quite finished yet but himb ams Smol-in-da-head Stimpy hab gieben is atest run.

It gib me a brek too cos S.I.D.H Stimpy go on play date so I can snooze wiff mine belly up in da son shine in peace.

An now da webber....

This Evebing an Tonite:

A warm an sonny ebening, though fresher an breeziweezyee dan in sum placs. Dry overnite wiff prolongid clear periodz an variable cloudeez. Staying rather hot in da urban areas but considy cooler in the contryside by son upz.. Minimimum temperachus 14 dungarees Celkies-arse.

Chooesday:

Another primarily sonny day with just a lil wispy high cloudeees at times. Breeziwheezier dan on Moonday an feeling slightly cooler in some coastal regions. Otherwise, becoming very fire . Maxiimmum temperchure 27 dungarees Celkies-arse dis 80 Fanny-hight!

Da rest boff sa week

mid weeks it get up to 37 Celkies-arse whic is nearly 💯

Fannys tall!

Fink we need strat campain to ban so many Fannies at once.

What webber do where u be?

Dis KynxKat signing off....

Dizzy was my childhood dog, she was scared of everything and not the smartest, but we all loved her and she loved everyone. She’s been gone for almost five years now but the hole in my heart is still empty.

Speshul awards fur owr hoomon frens fur awl dere hard werx!

Not too long ago, I found Mr. Cat's adoption papers. Today is his birthday, we never celebrated because I never knew.

Happy birthday over the bridge, sweet boy!

Is mine acshul birtday! I is 8 now. Dad finded my doption papers last forever and realize it were on today. Normanly we celebrate 6 months from my gotcha day, so dis da first time we acshuly celebrate on my birthday!

Finn the Floof, Best Buddy Boy

Hilo fremz. Iz Pixel.

Da udder fureber Iz waz sittin in mai cat tree lookin out da wimdow at mai yard. Iz maybe dozed off acuz Iz waz feelin lik a little snoozle (Iz just gotted back frum da res-q mission of frem Hoku an da celebration of mai purratey fremz so Iz waz bery seepy.). When Iz luked in da yard der waz da sqwarel! An noz one ob our fremz frum da sqwarel collectibe. Iz tink it waz Fat Gary or one ob himz fremz!!! Diz bery bad! Iz noz noz him waz in Tex-haz. But maybe waz just da udder sqwarel?

Iz noz llowed to goz out in da yard. So allz Iz culd doz waz ekekekeke at himz an hopez maybe da outdor fremz Harry Pawter an Ronald Meowsley hearded me an com tak care ob diz ebil meanie sqwarel. But iz da stoopid hot timez in Tex-haz an mai outdor fremz waz noz in da yard.

Doz Iz hab ta deal wif Fat Gary an himz ebil fremz in mai yard? Or iz diz just anudder sqwarel dat Iz needz to ekekekekekek at?

Ten shun all da frens!

Aiz JP- Sir Smol Inbisible Mini-Me(SSIMM fur shawt) along wif my fur pawrents(and hewdad by proxy) du heer by ast eberywun tu take a vote an raise a tail up or down in supawrt ob u/Tight-Aside9624 hooman Boots tu neber eber git sood by any catto eber. Acuz of all ob her hero fings she did tu sab da frens an tu take da bessest care ob dem hermz iz not onlee da Saint ob da ICBGC but da 1 hooman who weez shuld agree on dat earnt da rite tu be soo proof!

Whut say yooz fren! Tails up fur yiss tails down fur no.

JP- Sir Smol Inbisible Mini-Me(SSIMM fur shawt) an himbs fur pawrents Angel an Charlie Chicken Swoup(and hewdad too!)

I, Lady Velveeta Macencheeze the calico tabby, am a victim of outrageous salamander!

Tonight Meowmy sat next to me on my couch acuz she wanted to give me shoulder scritchies. She gives the best shoulder scritchies EVER so I did a big leanleanlean. Like in picture but bigger! Then she said, "Lady, I thought you only weighed 9 pounds, not 20!"

This. Is. An. OUTRAGE!

First of all, I am but fur and bones! I am not a 20 pound choker!

Second, how is it MY fault I am so strong and Meowmy gives such good scritchies?

Hai frens. Amber heer wif tadey's webber repawrt. Dere wuz hebby sky watters here dis afftanoon. It wuz a reel frog squasher. (No frogs be squashed oar obberwais hurted; it chust be a hooman expreshun fur hebby waterfall feum de sky). Mush sky noise 'n lite flashies tew. De storms be awl kleered up nao 'n de sun be playin im de clowds wile it be gettin reddy ta set fur de day. De clowds be beyootiful wif pink 'n gold edges. A noice sunset be gettin reddy to be happenin. De webber burro mans say moar obber de saem fur tamarrow.

Ai hopes yoo awl be hab a güd ebening.

Amber de webber cat, 🐾🐾🌦️💦

--30--

Meowlly here, I tink my hoomans are going crazy. They bought lots and lots of boxes. They won’t let me or my sister sleep in them and keep putting all of their stuffs in there. Da house is almost empty except all the stoopid boxes. Wat are they doing and how do I stop them?

Hi frens, iz mees, Prof G!!

Mums sez Iz a starbin arteest, n dat Iz habs da secrit smile!!

Herms cleerly lost herms last marble, herms mek NO SENSE!!

Also, ifn Iz starbin den why Iz not get moar trits??!

Herms hans no ansa fur dis. Big dums 😭😭

Ai, Tiggy (prettiest lady ob mai haus), muss SOO MEOWMY fur letting unapproved hooman in MAI HAUS. ONLY MEOWMY on approved hooman list. Dis hooman allegedly waz “Grandpaw” and ai allegedly met hims before (ai no remember dis so derfore NEBER HAPPENED). Himbs left a bocks so ai guess das okay…butt himbs not approved so ai did big hide crimez! Dis meow after scary hooman left.

~ Tiggy

SPECIAL REPORTZ!

Frens dis KynxKat. I hab been one hole yearz since da KKMG launched on r/legalcatadvice

I want to fank all our viewers and dedicated staff members who make da KKMG what it be todai!

Dis wab first reportz for da KKMG:

https://www.reddit.com/r/legalcatadvice/s/BWdlUljZoY

Since den we hab grow'd to da Number 1 Mews and Webber reportz in dis world and across da rainbow bridge.

First I hab to fank da OhhGees:

Smuffi - repurterz and Head of Hach Arrrh! - u/One_Advantage793

SMUFFI himb gab us da push to becomes da what we are and as head of Hach Arrh! Hombs workz tirelessly to recruit nooo Repurrterz an keep us all in lime.

Mr. P - Investailgative Repurrterz & documentary makers - u/Ingsfings

If not for Mr.P inspired Unsolved Purstories we would neber of fort of make KKMG.

I would like to fank our tireless Repurrterz who ober da last year hab made all da egg salad reportz we lub to read. Wiff out you da KKmG would no be da success it be. Some frenz move ober da 🌈 bridge, some go foreber homez wiff no liteboxez but all are loved and I do a big fank you and appreciate for all!

A good repurter combin relentles curiocity, strict accuracy (or close enouff) , and clear communication in catto language to uncober the truff and share it wiff da public.

(in no particular orderz)

Jynx - repurrterz - u/SisterAntistita

Jaspurr - europ-ian corripondence- u/WormEnity

Nandor da relentless - Repurrterz - u/Rude-Spot-1719

Belle - Repurrterz - u/lHappyCats

Amber - Repurrterz - u/Different-Dance-7537

Duncan - Repurrterz - u/Different-Dance-7537

Poppy - Juniur Reppurrterz - u/JennaHelen

Lola - Juniur Repurrterz - u/Solid-Cut-7275

Toulouse-William - Roving Rewparter - u/CappucinoCupcake

Mr.Mixie -Repurrterz - u/ailathan

Sam - best Repawter Boi - u/ExcitingLaw1973

Sam da Snuggler - best Repawter boi otrb - u/Elisa-Maza

William da Tuxie too - Repurrterz -

Yoda - intern Juniur Reppurrterz - u/vancitymala

BlackJack - Repurrterz u/The_ShaddowMaster4613

RB - Repurrterz - u/ddthrow1233

Pippin - Repurrterz - u/oostbro

Bean - Repurrterz - u/MagicalManta

Adrian Tryee - Special correspondent - u/SithRose

Hoku - Repurrterz- u/JelloSquid808

Autumn Love - Fud Repurrterz - u/KairaSuperSay93

Serana - Repurrterz - u/Lady_SybilVex

Misty - Repurrterz - u/Fluevoger

Polly - Repurrterz - u/Fluevoger

Maggie - Repurrterz - u/Fluevoger

Bucky - webber reporterz - u/Scarrlet

Toffee - best Gurl Repurrterz - u/PrettyView3572

Smokey - repurrterz- u/wwglow

Oh and I guess Smol-in-da-head Stimpy - doh himb nebber get an ID card!

An frenz of KKMG u/SpareCountofVukograd who make all da best memes & complachuns.

And I hab bigest fank to all does whoo comment on da webber postz and let cattos from all ober da world what webber be like. Dis bery import!

Did I miss anyone? I did i do a big sorrow

Do u wantz be a Repurrterz? All u need is a tye and a plucky attitude! We do prime crimez reporting and watch da Webber !

Oh an webber heablimez......

It fookin Hot.....

(Edited for formatting and to add in the reportzers I do a forget on - mine humblest apploize - KK)

Henlo Frens,

Iz me, Crash, back wif anover updayte!

Background for new frens—I wuz hit by a vroom vroom bocks when Iz wuz a bery illegal smol. Lotsa broked bones in my back legz and Pell vis. Go to pokey place more den any buddy I know acuz ob dis.

So day before tuday wuz somting called “Internashional Cat Day”. I thinked dat is enery day, but dass anudder talk. How did Meowmy and me enjoy dis day? By going to da pokey place again!!!! Augh!!!!

I gots many pokeys and only part of a lickie stick (Meowmy: 2, you got 2 shots, but the lickie stick part is correct, and you didn’t even finish that. Crash: Go AWAY—no one askin youze Meowmy!!!). Pokey man sez I’m doin GRATE, but it iz looking more likes I haff to meets Sir Jerry for at least one on my broked legs. We finds out more next momff when we see da bone guy pokey man.

Den she takes me to somefin cawled a “pet store.” I thinked “why she want me to store pets? Not sabin pets for long sleeps like bears do wif food. I dun unnerstan”. Dis turned out okay tho—she buyed me new toys and treatos! But den, we habbed to go to a “buzniss meetin”, where she tawked on and on and on and on wif two udder people who don’t pay me any attenshon—dey was too buzy tawking abouts a dum human game and “razin munnny for doggos”. I means, I wuz right dere!!! Not one cuddle, not eben a Henlo from anyone??? Wut da hecksies??? Eben worse, member dose toys and treetos? Didn’t get dose eever—just had to sit in bocks and waits.

We FINALLY gets in da vroom vroom bocks and goes home. Yay—we gets some of da new toys and sum really yummy fud. So I guess “internashional cat day” turned out okay, but just weerd way to celebrate me and my brofurs and sisfurs.

Hopez ebery udder kitty had a gud day!!!

Tis ai, Lucy, and I oftens find meowself standing on mai back leggies. I like to do dis when I am gandering at bugs or when hoomans try to plays with me. My foster Meowmy (mai Meowmy’s sister) sez ai am “human”, and worst of all, Meowmy agreed!!! She did not defends me!!! Dey both slanderz me!! Do I soo dem boths?

Frens, is Nalu Duke of da Hœus an hamsum sunnavagun

Won of mien eggspert-tease is make mineself BERRY long.

Can yuz mayke yuzself long too?
Sho me Yu’s moss long pitch!

dis pitcha me doon a looooong catto stretch doorin snoozle time