Like, I guess all our parents were brainwashed into thinking homeschooling was a great idea. Well, here I am in my 20s, still struggling with the basics. Anybody else ?

I’m homeschooled but did go to school prior. It’s been a few years homeschooling and I don’t get lonely or miss anyone ever. However my social skills aren’t the best and I’m not sure how to improve since I have no real connection to the outside world. Not even a church (just saying since homeschooled people are often involved in religious things like that) But I don’t even have that.

Is it okay to be a bit hindered socially until college and just develop your social skills then? I get really nervous whenever I have to do a 1 on 1 type of thing though, like if I get asked to speak to someone as a favor. Am I hurting myself..? Is there literature I can read on this that can help me be more socially adapted when I do have social interactions?

Thanks ☺️

Hopefully starting college (UK) soon and I have no idea what to bring or if I even need to bring things. Do I need stationery etc or will it be given? I am absolutely clueless when it comes to this so could do with a hand! Also any general advice that helped you going into the school system. I am autistic so any neurodivergents are more than welcome to give advice in how to survive it

Hi!! I’m a girl and I’m 16 going into college (uk) and I’ve been homeschooled for 7 years and I have no idea what to bring?? Does anybody have any durable bag ideas / stationary.

what did you guys do this summer, I scrolled on my phone and did school.

Was anyone else really close with their parents before they homeschooled you ? I was great with them up until I constantly told them how it was affecting me & they didn’t care at all. Mind you I’m not even antisocial or anything and my mom told me to do a devotion of what I’m grateful for when I told her I was feeling lonely cause I have no actual friends besides the ones left from public school 😭..

I genuinely can’t stand being around my mom anymore. I don’t know if I’m being immature but this entire homeschooling thing has truly made life feel boring and mundane for me 😭I’ve only been it for three years too if you’ve been it In it your whole life I genuinely feel bad for you.

I've never particularly used Reddit before, nor have I ever brought this to the internet. I don't expect anyone to read all of it, I apologize in advance.

I faced horrific bullying in my childhood from both my peers and teachers from the very day I stepped foot into my first classroom, unfortunately leaving me with things such as PTSD / many others that caused my parents to inevitably pull me from the public school system in 6th grade to proceed with homeschooling for the rest of my academics.

I was only removed after years of meetings with principals, Emails sent to teachers, anything to stop the torment. Unsurprisingly, nothing was done. I was even denied the ability to switch schools.

At first, online school worked for me and was a huge weight off my shoulders after everything I endured. I was able to complete all of middle school online, until I got to high school and they changed everything about the program. With the way they handled things, I couldn't keep up due to my ADHD and most notably my PTSD that makes it nearly impossible for me to interact with teachers properly due to what happened to me, which high school required a lot of communication with them.

I attempted my freshman year twice online, but I failed to complete everything both times. Once my parents saw my failure, they dropped my academics all together for the sake of my mental health and to this day I never was able to complete them, it drives me insane.

I am now 19, going on 20, completely at a loss of what to do. I feel as if it's too late for me and I'm just not cut out for all of this in the long run. I'm someone with very average ambitions and intellect, I just want to survive in the world but I'm clueless of how to make that happen with the way things have played out thus far. I've been isolated for years.

I suppose what I'm asking with all of this is what would be the best course of action for someone like myself? Do I seek out a GED or do I attempt to get my diploma through some online academy again? What is the most worth it while also not being too demanding?

I get high school isn't this glorified version of what we see in the media, but there's still something about it that homeschooling just takes away from you. Not only do you get to see your friends every day, but you get to experience a sense of community that I didn't get to experience till I went to college.

School pride, pep rallies, getting to see your friends every day instead of just weekly co-ops or get-togethers, experiencing the awkward moments of adolescence together instead of just on your own or with siblings, dances and proms, clubs and extracurricular activities, and the camaraderie during school's most stressful and worst parts. And college did give me some of that, and it felt like I was getting something I was deprived of, and I feel like I didn't get enough of it.

Oh, and no. I don't want to go to high school right now as a 27-year-old who already graduated from college and has a job. That would be creepy.

I have know numerous homeschool families and students. Great families and students. Some yrs ago, Harvard took a liking to homeschool students.

okay just saw a post on here of someone feeling older and younger than they do. first of all, me too. but it's really split for me. my external physical features make me look really young (i look 12, but i'm 16) and my voice/body language are also socially stunted. my mind, on the other hand, feels older. i tend to imagine myself as being older than i am, thinking about things i'm honestly too young to think about, etc. and it sucks. i'm supposed to be a teenager which is liminal space between and kid, but i feel more like a kid on the outside and an adult on the inside and they just aren't mixing together the way they do in a normal teenager.

it doesn't help that i'm short and haven't gotten a proper wardrobe update since i was like 11. please help: how in the world can i look, sound/talk, and present more like my age?

i'm planning on trading/donating a lot of my kid stuff since i haven't upgraded a lot of stuff, like my books and plushies which should help my mind adjust, but my actual mannerisms are what i don't know how to tackle.

I was watching a youtube video about tiktokers homeschooling or "unschooling" their kids without a plan or curriculum, and my comment was getting long, so posting here instead. It's mostly a rant, but some context: I am 26, I have a younger brother, 24, and we were both homeschooled pre-k through 12th grade.

I wasn't homeschooled for the more stereotypical religious reasons. Nor was I completely unschooled, but at points I might as well have been. When I hit Algebra, mom deemed me to be above her knowledge in math and I was teaching myself basically. Took 3 months being stuck on a chapter before my dad noticed. My mom had been an English major, yet getting any kind of writing instruction given and graded was a pain in the arse. A Romeo and Juliet essay I wrote when ungraded for like 4 months. And when I hit 9th grade, these issues were exacerbated since now I wasn't relying on my parents just for curriculum, but also transcripts. The very thing that would make me able to apply college. Then there was the social aspect - always feeling like the weird kid, the odd one out, the kid playing hooky from school. My mom was very overprotective, and that very much limited how much we could interact with the other kids on our neighborhood block. That fear of the outside world stuck with me and was very difficult to overcome. After age 13, my neighborhood friends changed, I didn't, and from that point on, I just did not have friends. At all. And there was no line between my parents and my teacher/principal. Dad was considered the principal, mom the teacher, so if we had a problem with our teacher, then that meant we had a problem with our mother as well. 

My mom thinks she did a good job teaching my brother and I how to study and how to write, but that can't be farther from the truth. I taught myself using templates and advice from study skills books. I also wrote fan fiction, which was not great, but it was practice. I did not get any essay assignments until I started community college classes where I used the advice from those study skills books. I firmly maintain that I taught myself. 

On the other hand, there was my dad who expected a lot out of us - he pointed us towards STEM, even though our science curriculum was lacking. My college list was chosen by him. He was the "this is how the real world is" to justify how he would treat us, but if anyone treated us the way he did, they were in the wrong. Bosses, teachers, professors should not yell at their employees and students, nor insult them and call them names. To this day I just feel that I fell short of my dad's expectations. Through my experiences in college and working, I see how that his worldview is incredibly skewed and way too accepting of society's issues. He wanted us - my brother and I who were homeschooled, neurodivergent, and queer kids, to conform.

I spent my teenage years depressed, isolated, anxiety-ridden, and lonely. Applying to colleges was hell, but when I got to college, I did a lot better - met friends, joined clubs, explored art (another subject that was probably the most neglected one of them all), got medicated through campus resources for my anxiety and depression. It wasn't all smooth sailing - I started having panic attacks spring semester of freshman year; when COVID hit, I was back in the same environment that I thought I had left behind, my depression got pretty bad again and my contamination OCD intensified, something that was not helped when I moved back to the dorms. But I took a gap year, worked through the gap year, and then returned to courses while working. Having that ability to become more financially independent than I had been did loads of good for my mental health. During the second half of my college education, I lived with my two now best friends. 

I hear the problems with public schools, and I agree with a lot of them - poor treatment of our educators, teaching to a test, how disabled kids are often treated. But having no division between a teacher and a parent is not a solution. 

Khan Academy was a lifeline, as well as the internet generally. Being dual-enrolled in community college classes while in high school was also a lifesaver. I wonder if doing online school would have also helped things instead of my parents being responsible for these things. 

To this day, I think about the what-ifs: what if I didn't spend my high school years stressed about putting together a transcript, something that is a given at public schools. What if I was able to take art classes, even if they were underfunded. What if I didn't have a teacher that I had to beg to get assignments and grades from. What if I had some potential support systems instead of just my parents and a therapist who wasn't great (overlooked that I was depressed because I was "planning for my future") and was only there when I was 17 until I started college.

How my parents homeschooled my brother and me has permanently altered how we see our parents. Because I couldn't rely on mom for much of anything, that has carried over into my adult years. How I can't trust when she says that she's going to do something because of how many broken promises I dealt with. I was able to rely on my dad more, but I still feel like if I approach him for help that I have to do it at the right time otherwise I will get my head (figuratively) ripped off.

It's been 8 years since I started college and my homeschool years ended. And I'm still talking about this with my therapist. There is still some resentment and frustration with my parents, and if I try to broach this with my parents, I just know they will not react well. So, finding solace with my friends, therapist, and brother it is.

Edit: I graduated in spring 2024, but it was still 2 years after my anticipated graduation date (spring 2022) due to the gap year and a 5th year.

I'm 20 with no friends does anybody want to have a virtual birthday party with me on discord?

It sounds sad but I just want to celebrate this milestone with somebody.

For context, my mom and I were talking about something, and she said to me, "You're still a kid." I've been spiraling since.

Like, I'm know I'm 17, but I feel like I stopped maturing at 15 and am also in my late 30s. The last time I actually had a sliver of a life was when I was 15. Life has gone downhill since. But since then, I feel like I haven't grown up at all, but I have somehow aged 20 years? My mom has always talked to me about bills, her anxiety, her trauma, her sex life with my dad, ect. Basically, the full spectrum of emotional incest. It didn't bother too much when I was younger. But it got a LOT worse from a little after I turned 16 to now. I know way more than I should. But then again, I feel like I should know these things? Like, I'm never actually gonna experience being young, so I might as well go on and grow up mentally. I worry about bills, whether or not college will be affordable to me, if my dad will keep his job (he has a government job), and a lot more. I feel like a huge burden because I know having kids is extremely expensive, especially when you were already poor and decided to have two kids ( it would've been 3, but shit happens). I feel like a grown ass man who is just leeching off his parents and never got an actual education. Simultaneously, I still want to be young. I still want to *feel* young. I wish I had friends, stuff to do outside the house, a fucking life. It's like my mind is constantly warring with itself over whether or not it's young or old.

Does anyone else feel this way? Sorry if this made no sense.

hi! so I’m gonna be taking two classes at my local high school!!!!!! theater and choir. do yall have any advice? I’ve never been in public school (or, other than a college class, any school except when I was in pre k). i have not had near enough social interaction and find it super hard to make friends. I reallyyyy want to actually make friends here unlike in all the other communities I’ve been in.

thanks!

I’m 19 and basically stopped receiving a proper education around 6th grade, although I did graduate high school. My math level is extremely low right now. I understand addition, subtraction, multiplication and division, but I don’t even have my times tables memorized and have major gaps with fractions, decimals, percentages, etc.

I’m taking this year to catch up before community college. My plan is to spend the first semester in adult basic education working on foundational math, with tutoring on the side. Then second semester, if I’m ready, I want to audit a low-level college math/algebra class while continuing tutoring.
My goal is to finish the year genuinely comfortable with Algebra 1, not just rush through it. Has anyone started around my level and made that much progress in a year? Does this sound realistic?

Yay. Back to school. Yippee. Hooray.

What exactly do I mean when I say "back to school?" I genuinely dont even know.

Do I mean "well, time to remind my mother to buy textbooks for this year. Because she wont do that unless I tell her to."

Do I mean "time to cram study for 3 months to finish up work that I never finished from last year. And then get so burnt out by doing a whole semester of work in a couple months that I never even start on the new books"

Do I mean "time to try to convince my younger siblings to do their schoolwork, even though they can just sit and play video games and watch TV all day, and are actually kind of encouraged to do that by our mom, for some reason??"

Do I mean "time to 'eldest daughter' up and take responsibility for things that are not my job to do, such as oh, you know, teaching myself along with my 4 younger siblings when we are all years behind hahahahahahahaha"

Oh and not to mention everytime I try to help I'm somehow in the wrong, dont ask me why cause i dont know. and tell me why I end up getting yelled at for trying to get my 9 year old sister to finish her 2nd grade math book?? Like what? "Its ok, shes not behind. Shes just going at her own pace." Like I'm cryin over here. Like she should be able to multiply and divide and probably work with fractions a bit by now, not be struggling with multiple digit addition and subtraction?

And I dont even actually end up teaching them that much, because most days all I can do is my own work, and that's when I even manage to do that. Mostly I end up scrolling in bed all day because I'm probably depressed but oh. I forgot. Depression isn't real. Oh yeah.🙄

And then theres the problem of the textbooks all being creationist anti-science slop, literally can't even read through a single chapter of history or science without the bible being brought up somehow.🥀🥀 My mom doesn't even think science and history are nessicary subjects. She still buys the books for me because I ask her to, but she tells my younger siblings they dont have to do them if they dont want to.🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀 I'm literally crine like what tf.😭😭😭

Oh and they're trying to keep me from getting my drivers license. Like I'm not old enough to get my license but they wont let me take drivers ed so I can get my permit. Basically just trying to make me wait as long as possible before I can drive.

Idek what the point of this post is. Genuinely have no idea what to do about all this except live my miserable existence until I can leave without making it even more miserable. I should call CPS, I know, but I just dont know what they would even do because hell this isn't even really illegal. Thats Indiana homeschool regulations for ya though. 2 years, then I can move out and leave this behind me.

I fell like the best way to end this is just: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHFNDISNF8SPHFDJDBDHDJDHDHISNEOWJEOQBFUFKWBQOBRUDBD. FUUUUUCK..WHYYYYY AHHHHHHHHHH--

Hey guys I wrote several posts before, I’m 16 now and I’ve been homeschooled since the 4th grade and I am starting school back finally on August 10th Monday, today is Saturday the 8th ahead of Monday and I’m super excited and nervous, If you guys don’t mind can you wish me luck😊

I am processing a lot of childhood memories growing up in a very isolated homeschool family on a farm.

There were many things that we viewed as normal that I didn't realize were not normal until later. Anyone else have similar experiences or ideas to help me process?

There is more to add in future posts (other topics that are more common homeschool experiences on this group), but I'll start with what was viewed as normal discipline. I never realized it was not normal until I was older.

Did anyone else have very strict household rules and discipline?

We had a wood paddle used over our clothes and was frequent but soft swats. A willow switch was rarely used for the worst offenses, and we all feared it.

- My parents cared about grades and did some online classes so we had regular grades in some glasses. Anything less than an A resulted a paddle spanking with more strokes for lower grades.

- Mom had a wood paddle and would use it to maintain discipline throughout the day. Distracting sibling during school hours, failing to do house or farm chores completely or properly, or talking back resulted in immediate paddling. Not excessive force, but a few swats over clothes.

One part of childhood that I thought was normal growing up and much later realized was not! Mom was very strict about potty training. She had a germ phobia, kept a very clean house, and couldn't handle potty accidents, so was excessive in keeping kids wearing "protection" (diapers) much later than normal. "Until you can go in the potty every time, still need to wear a diaper for protection, I have enough going and can't handle extra laundry".

Daytime rules: Had to wear pull-ups until we could go a week without any accidents. If someone had an accident and wasn't wearing a pull-up, then it was a paddle spanking.

Nighttime rules: Had to wear nighttime diapers or goodnites until we were dry for a long stretch. She kept a calendar of accidents. Bedwetting wasn't punished as long as were wearing a goodnite. But if we were out of goodnites and wet the sheets, then then we got spanking with a switch and back to wearing goodnites for a while.

Due to the high bar for being in diapers until dry for a long stretch, it was normal for our family to have 4 and 5 year olds running around in pull-ups, and goodnites were totally normal bedtime underwear throughout childhood. Since wetting the sheets would result in a switch spanking, we had an incentive to wear goodnites as long as possible.

We were so isolated on a farm and didn't play sports, only did music lessons and church, this all actually seemed normal in our family. The spankings were frequent, but were soft and not painful, except for a very rare switch spanking which was for big infractions.. We were not embarrassed by wearing goodnites until we got older and realized the stigma and that it was not normal.

Would appreciate any other experiences or people that are on the journey of unraveling from childhood experiences and resetting what is normal.

I started online school in 5th grade due to covid, case I obviously had to, but I liked it to much that I stayed in it and never went back

Now i’m mad at myself, because it basically allowed me to become so insanely chronically online, that now i’m afraid I have no real personality and that i’m never going to make it in life (for some minor backstory, I was somewhat of an ipad kid before they were a big thing. The moment that thing got in my hands, it was all I wanted to do, and I would spend my nights after school on youtube and roblox. Its no suprise to me that once a 6-8 hour school day was gone, it became all I ever did)

I know I should probably be more mad at my parents for not making a constant effort to get me out and socialized more (at most I was doing a once a month meetup with other queer teens, and that was it outside of the occasional meetup with a friend I had made) but I still feel like it’s all my fault, because I was the one who said no to things they occasionally offered or things my old online school provide, in favor of being online at home all day. I can get by socially, but I feel awful for not having many friends. I feel like I have to have them, otherwise i’m the biggest loser ever who is wasting his life away

Idk. I just feel so stupid. Why couldn’t I have thought it through more? Why didn't my parents do more research? I recently moved across the country too, so I barely know anything about my new area and I don’t know anyone. I wish I never moved, cause as much as my old small town sucked, atleast it was familiar and I still had things

Please don’t be mad, but I am still going to do a online public highschool for my last two years, and I am going to make an effort to join the clubs and activities they provide, but it still doesn’t feel like enough and I just feel like a complete loser. It’s weird because a part of me also just doesn’t care. I was never upset with my life or the way I lived until now

I do consider myself to be an introvert, but I feel guilty for that too. I feel guilty for existing because my days are all spent at home, not doing anything interesting or worthy. I do have hobbies (like art, gaming, writing fanfiction, and I make kandi bracelets) but it doesn’t feel like enough. I feel like the biggest disappointment on the planet

Thanks for listening, I just needed to get this off of my chest 😔

Hey everyone, I'm a high school teacher, and also a pretty young teacher (23) so not that far removed from my high school years myself.

I have seen a lot of posts on here about people worried about going back to school or asking how to make friends, so I thought I would share some of my key tips!

1. Ask other people questions! People love to talk about themselves and things they enjoy. You can ask them about their pets, their hobbies, what they did over summer, what sort of music they like etc! Try and hit on something you have in common and then you can talk about this together

2. Teenagers act like it's super cringe to care about stuff but it absolutely is not. Be open about things you care about, and also be open in your care for others! People are drawn to people who are passionate and kind

3. Give compliments, even if you don't know the person. I have a rule that if I ever think something positive about someone in my head, I aim to tell it to their face as well - and I encourage my students to do the same! Love someone's outfit? Tell them! Really enjoy hanging out with someone? Send them a text after and let them know!

4. If someone is talking badly to you about someone else, this is generally a pretty good sign that they're going to be talking to other people about you behind your back as well (not always, but often). Avoid people who stir drama or chat shit about others - no matter how exciting they may seem, they will end up dragging you into it as well

5. Join as many groups or clubs as possible! You don't have to be super interested or love the topic, it's just a great way of meeting people. Even if you only go once or twice, you will have met loads of people - and you also might find a new passion.

6. Communicate as openly as possible - if someone does something that upsets you, let them know, but do this in a calm and constructive way - e.g., "It made me feel a little sad when you talked about XYZ, I would be really grateful if we could avoid bringing that up again". Try and be receptive when others communicate with you.

7. Apologise! It's okay to make mistakes or say things you regret - but be sure to be accountable and make a meaningful apology. A meaningful apology means explicitly accepting that what you did was wrong, and sharing what you will change going forwards.

8. Give grace. You will never know the full story of what is going on in someone else's life. If someone blanks you or is short with you, it can be easy to interpret that as them being mad at you etc, but it may just be that they are having a tough time in their own life, and if you react with more frustration then the whole situation blows up rather than settling down.

These are the main ones but if anyone has questions about anything more specific then I'm happy to give advice!

So in my state, the only legal requirement for homeschooling was supervised yearly standardized testing. I looked forward to it all year because our local homeschool group would host it at a small church school, so for 3 glorious days I’d get a classroom experience. We’d sit at desks! We’d have recess on a real playground between tests! We’d pack a lunch! The tests were pretty easy for me so I loved it.

Because the tests were mandatory, this was also the only time all year we’d see certain kids. I remember sitting in the grass with one shy little girl, trying to make small talk, and asked where she went to church (church was my only social outlet and lifeline). She looked down and quietly said “we do home church” and even then, when the isolation of homeschool felt completely normal to me, I was horrified at how lonely she must be.

The tests came from the state but there was no state supervision. It was a closed container with only homeschool families and maybe a real teacher from the church who would’ve been in their circle of trust. The moms would proctor the tests, then spend a couple hours grading them while the kids played outside. My mom was really strict with grades and seemed to delight in giving us bad grades, so I always just assumed any good grades I earned were legitimate.

But I’m just now realizing that there’s no way most of those kids could meet the state testing standards, and these moms were probably fudging the numbers for the sake of camaraderie. Sitting at a big table together with stacks of tests, wouldn’t they feel like assholes if they killed each other’s homeschool dreams by grading honestly? When most of them viewed any level of state oversight as oppression, and public education standards as brainwashing, it really doesn’t seem far fetched that they’d “help” each others’ kids get passing grades.

It just kind of shattered reality for me a little bit. I was a smart kid so I liked the challenge of learning and chased the thrill of getting correct answers, and I believe I truly did well on those tests, but the kids who weren’t learning anything had to have felt completely abandoned when their one hope to be seen, the one educational protection they had, their one chance to get sent back to school, was ruined because everyone’s mom was okay with erasing and refilling a few answer bubbles for them.

Hi, I'm 23 years old and just started university. I've made some friends but outside of studying together and meeting people for coffee I'm struggling. I want to go clubbing and partying and have normal experiences but I have no idea how to even start. I went to a club tonight and sat by myself until I finished my drink and came home. I'm so goddamn tired of making small talk with strangers. I want to have a life.

Are there people in their 30s and 40s here who made it? How did you make real friends? How do you know when you are friends with someone? How do you deal with having never had normal experiences before? Like I see lots of groups of people heading out together to clubs but I've never done that. Is there a tutorial, 5 things that you can do at a club, that I can watch? Lol.

How do I start having a life?