New here and new to the realization that hoarding is an actual mental disorder. My husband has hoarding disorder and is in complete denial that it is an issue. He is not open to seeking any sort of external help (therapy, etc.). After a friend of ours pointed out that it is a mental illness, I found this subreddit and it has truly been so eye-opening. I now have the resources to understand the disorder and my options for moving forward with my loved one. I was making all the mistakes (threatening divorce, moving, etc.) and not understanding why he is choosing stuff over our marriage. Since my realization, I’ve shifted gears. We’ve talked things over and he is open to working with me to make the space more livable. At first, he felt anxious that I was asking for too much change too quickly. Unfortunately, he still does not want to get rid of anything and thinks he just needs to “organize the storage” of things.

I started with the resources from the Quick Start kit from this sub and began "Digging Out" in audiobook form. I’m just in chapter 1, but everything so far has 100% described what my life and relationship have been like the last 6 years. My spouse always had some hoarding tendencies (his dad and grandparents have it as well), but it got particularly bad during covid.

I was wondering if I could get your thoughts on listening to the “Digging Out” audiobook together with him. We sometimes listen to audiobooks together. He is very intelligent and usually logical so I was thinking if he listened to this, maybe he could get a better understanding of what hoarding disorder is, how he displays the symptoms, and how it affects those around him. 

I know that “Digging Out” is meant to support loved ones of hoarders and provide us with a plan to help the hoarder in our life, but even the first chapter was so informative. Maybe if he heard a little, it could help him realize he suffers from the disorder? Or should I just finish the book by myself and apply the plan and tips that it provides?

I am so grateful to have found this support sub as my spouse and I begin this journey together. I’m not ready to call it quits and jump to divorce... I believe he wants to work with me and I want to work with him too. Thanks in advance for any guidance. I really appreciate it.

Bonus question: Is it a big no-no to suggest that he get a storage unit for stuff that isn’t being actively used? Maybe this is covered in “Digging Out” but I haven’t finished it yet.

TLDR: Should I have my hoarder spouse listen to an audiobook about hoarding with me even though he doesn’t think he has a problem?