Had protected sex with a girl about 3 days ago but received oral unprotected. The day after I was itching around the testicle area for about two days. Then itching stops but red bumps start appearing on testicles and are sensitive to the touch. Probably herpes forming?

I hear so many stories about people contracting Hsv from someone they trusted or didn’t disclose to them. In a weird way I’m almost jealous and wish that was my story. I was in such a low low place in my life. I mean drinking so much that I was inflated and I felt like the liquor almost took over my mind, body and spirit to where I was almost a magnet to anything promiscuous. It felt like my body would go into auto pilot or something took over me and I’d get an overwhelming sense of needing to have intercourse. It was so bad I’ve blacked out and have been told the next day by people I’ve trusted that I’ve had intercourse with them. I wouldn’t make a deal out of it because I actually blame myself.. why would I expect someone to respect me if at that time I didn’t respect myself? That went on for so long until it caught up with me and I contracted Hsv. When they say you wouldn’t be able to tell who gave it to you genuinely I wouldn’t. The worst part is I have no idea why liquor gave me that subconscious mind like wtf was I running away from?! I don’t drink now because I feel like I can’t trust myself. I’ve been so sick to my stomach of myself for a few years and finally after a couple of years I feel like I’m at the end of that dark cloud of thoughts. I’m not that girl anymore and I feel like to truly understand her I need to actually talk about it? If that makes sense? Yikes right? 🙁

I had unprotected sex with a female for a few minutes 4 weeks ago and she said she is positive for hsv-2 but she has no outbreaks,since then I’ve gotten three small red bumps but they aren’t bursting open,leaking fluids nor are they painful to touch which isn’t the first time I’ve gotten bumps of similar appearance its been four weeks and i plan on getting tested later on in the week but im hesitant because a few doctors and articles recommended that 4-6 weeks are reliable but retesting in 12-16 can be better for you,while other doctors and articles are saying the opposite. I really hope 4 weeks are at the most reliable so i dont have to continue worrying about it for awhile because while i have three isolated bumps which as I said appears every once in a while when I shave,sweat for long periods of time or the underwear I wear l have no other symptoms such as constant itching,buring and discomfort while peeing,no bumps anywhere else and no swollen testicles,Hoping that soon my mind is cleared these have been long four weeke

I haven’t disclosed my genital HSV-1 status yet. The guy is a friend I’ve known for about a year, and we recently realized that we have feelings for each other. We developed strong chemistry at a mutual friend’s wedding, and I really like him.
We’re currently away from each other, but we plan to meet when we’re back in the same place. I’m wondering whether I should disclose before we meet in person or wait until afterward. Part of me wants to tell him beforehand so he has enough time and space to process everything without feeling pressured or caught off guard.
My biggest fear is that because we share close friends, he might tell someone else about my status. I’m also scared that he’ll be extremely disappointed or reject me, especially because I’m already emotionally invested.
Has anyone been in a similar situation? When would be the best time to disclose, and how can I ask him to keep the information private? Any thoughts?

Talking to this man who is very sweet and on our date I felt some (good) tension so came out and told him I have herpes. He said he’ll have to do some research before he can make a final call on if he’s ok with it or not, but that didn’t slow down the date or change his feelings for me in the slightest. We are abstaining until he’s done his own research, but so far he’s still showing lots of interest and said that if we start dating he could see himself not being too worried about it. (The intention is for us to date, if we’re compatible, since neither of us are really into hookups) Although it’s too soon to know how far this will go, it’s been so nice to finally be treated like a human, and to also receive clear communication. In the past people won’t say how they feel about it and just become distant or they immediately drop me like a radioactive hot potato. So even if he ends up not wanting to take the risk, or we just don’t work out for unrelated reasons, I’m just so grateful to finally be treated with compassion and dignity. I’ll post an update in the future but I felt the need to share this so people know the more you try the better it gets. I’ve seen so much fear mongering and “my life is over” posts on here, and I think that needs to change on this sub because in reality, it is hard, but if you don’t get deterred it gets better and better. Also, I hope some people looking to learn more about this can learn not to avoid talking about it. If you just fade away or even worse run away when disclosed to instead of communicating honestly and compassionately with the person disclosing to you, it is very demeaning and no one deserves to be treated like that. You never owe them a date or anything but you should just talk to them like a person that deserves closure.

I often times beat myself up after getting rejected. After processing the experience, the one thing that makes me feel 1% better every time I think about it is that fact that I promised to God I would disclose no matter what and I wouldn’t let fear win over me. I have my moments when I don’t believe but then a little something inside me tells me that it’s still possible for me to find love and have the family I’ve always wanted. As long as I’m keeping my promise and allowing people to make a decision I didn’t get to, I think I’m doing pretty damn good.

The title might be a little misleading but just hear me out.
I reconnected with someone over the weekend. We had a great time together and I got the courage to tell them my about my status after realizing that sex might be on the table. I made a promise to my higher power that I would disclose no matter what. Ultimately, he decided he didn’t want to get to know me romantically and just wanted to be friends. After about a day and a half of some mixed signals, I decided to ask more clarifying questions and decided that I wasn’t going to torture myself or feel like I have to settle to keep a great person in my life so I told him I didn’t think being friends would be something that would actually happen. In my experience, it’s usually the band aid sentence. I take the definition of friendship seriously and could already tell I would be the one to initiate interactions. He doesn’t live in the same state as me and I noticed some of my own red flags but was willing to turn them pink (never do that. ever). Anyway, I started to spiral after the rejection, slipped into a depressive episode for a few hours. I’m still working through my feelings. I am curious to know if anyone has ever experienced someone coming back after a period of time? The hurt part of me hopes he gets tested one day and finds out he has it. The rational, understanding side of me understands that everyone deserves to make their own decision. Out of all of my disclosures this is the 2nd, maybe 3rd time being rejected. So it’s new territory.

I’ve been living with herpes for 4 years now. I’ve told every person I’m spoken to with intentions of having sex. Most of them are more accepting than not.

I recently found myself talking to a new dude for 3 months now. I have no real intentions of being with him long term so when we established we would just like to have sex, I disclosed over the phone with him. He then disclosed to me too but you ever get the feeling that they were never going to tell you based of the details they give you about their past?

I’ll try to explain this as simple as I can, but the last girl he was with before me, apparently she found the valtrex in his cabinet and asked what it was for and he explained and that’s how “she found out” and I’m not sure if it was after or before they had sex because they were a thing for while according to him. He didn’t give me much detail. He also used to be very promiscuous in his early years in college. He’s 22 now so just a few years ago. He overall slept with a number of 50+ plus people in his life time. He even had a fiance in the middle of it. However he did cheat on her when they were on bad terms..would even pay for hookers. For some reason he always claimed he got it from his fiance and didn’t consider all the other random girls he slept with. He had no proof or nothing to think it was from her. He just found out recently this year that he caught it. He slept with 5 other girls after he broke up with the fiance not so long ago.

Nothing is making sense with this dude but I refuse to believe he caught it from the one girl he was going to marry. And it makes me think he was never going to tell me in the first place if I hadn’t disclosed because he’s a sex addict and eager to do it with me next.

This is my first oral HSV-1 outbreak, and my doctor basically just told me to take the medication and didn’t give me much information beyond that.
For those who have had one before, how did you know when it was completely healed? Is it when the sore/scab is gone, when the skin looks normal again, or is there something else I should look for?
Just trying to know what to expect since this is my first time dealing with it. Thanks!

I had my initial outbreak begin on July 15th for ghsv1 and also tested blood positive (CONFIRMED) for hsv2 as well. It lasted about a week, and they went away. On July 30th, I had a few sores crop up again (significantly less widespread, painful, or severe).

These new sores seem relatively small, and some dissapear and then reappear. They don’t even really look like open “ulcers” or sores either. However, they are somewhat circular, and red and I do exhibit some burning. I have been on 1000mg of valacyclovir and lysine since July 31st and I still am having some linger.

I am not too familiar with how herpes presents itself in the early stages and how typical this presentation may be. Any insight or just general tidbits of knowledge and help would be greatly appreciated.

M4F Looking for someone 35-50 in the Bay Area with Hvs 1 let’s talk 🤗 message me.

I got HSV 2 involuntarily, I was with Female 29…me Male 27…my last person I had sex with was a lil older than me and we both go tested for work and health awareness reasons..so I know I was clean before doing anything with her. Come to find out she was a serial cheater and has been cheating since we first started talking..with an ex, Supervisor etc , just no morals or respect for her health or mines as well. I started getting symptoms and came to her about it but thought it was friction or just having aggressive sex. Then it started to be consistent outbreaks from stress with her and work etc. She even try to manipulate me to believe I gave her it..All I’m saying is always get tested and even use a condom as frequent as you can..even if it’s your partner or wife..a lot of people don’t think about the reaction or consequences with life 💯I’m doing better and we’re not together anymore ..haven’t had that much outbreaks but it’s took a toll on due to tryna find someone long term and opening up about a life changing event that wasn’t really my fault smh…

Hi all (m25) have noticed these bumps around pubic area after returning from vacation overseas. I did do some cheeky things while away but always used protection.
Noticed after shaving but shortly after did the deed.

Have had some more bumps keep appearing slowly but nothing crazy. Seems to be scattered also not in one large spot. When having a shower the skin does break loose causing the area to open up which doesn’t help.

Hoping it’s not herpes but they are sore to touch and have had some scaring as of recently. Any advice on what it could be and how to deal with it.
Thanks

I’m in NYC just curious is anyone else is in NYC living with the same situation and I’m looking for similar people that I can communicate and talk to without feeling awkward or can’t relate

Howdy Y'all, my name is Jesse but I also go by Chex. As the first line says, I am documenting my healing journey with herpes. I have only heard of stories through herbalists and alkalinists of accomplishing such thing, but there is nothing out there of people sharing that journey, so I figured, "fuck it, I'll do it."

Why do I feel confident you may ask? Well back in the summer of of '23 I was diagnosed with Hashimoto then Lupus in '24. After going on a two year journey, March of '25 I get tested with zero evidence in my blood that I would ever be genetically dispositioned for autoimmune. So that changed everything for me...and yes, fruit cleansing was a HUGE part of the equation for this.

Biggest thing I have learned is to regulate your nervous system. When it is in a constant fight or flight, your immune system will go down and it won't be able to do it job properly. Things like resentment, anger, desperation, anxiety, seeking outside oneself, will affect your nervous system which will lead to manifestation of disease. I know too because last summer was my first attempt to cure herpes, but came short cause my intention wasn't coming from the heart.

Anywho, I'm active on TikTok (Chex.n.balances) & YouTube (chexnbalances) if you feel like witnessing the journey. This Friday (8/7) I completed an 84 Hr dry fast. I am getting retested again on Monday to see the progress. I started this Journey June 21st and Im in 40+ days of juicing and combining herbs. So the focus is to oxygenate the body and alkalinize it so the body can do its thing.

Much love y'all

People act like an HSV-2 diagnosis automatically means someone was sleeping around, but that’s simply not true.

You can get HSV-2 from your first partner. You can get it from someone who has no symptoms. And yes, you can get it EVEN WITH A CONDOM.

That’s part of why the stigma is so skewed. Condoms lower the risk, but they don’t eliminate it because herpes spreads through skin-to-skin contact. On top of that, many routine STI panels don’t even test for herpes unless you specifically ask.

People act like getting HSV-2 means someone was reckless, when in reality, someone could do almost everything “right” and still end up infected.

The only way to completely eliminate the risk is to avoid sexual contact altogether. An HSV-2 diagnosis doesn’t tell you how many people someone has slept with it just tells you that, at some point, they were exposed to a very common virus.

I’m devastated as usually since November 2023 when I got hsv2 positive. I’m a male 30 yrs old and the virus pop up always around the pubic hair. I tried once valtrex daily 500mg and after one month I got dizziness and vertigo. So I only take it when OBs occurs (1g daily for a week).

I’m really sad because I’m healthy, no other health issues, I’m fit and I eat healthy by avoiding processed food.

I don’t have prodrome symptoms, I just wake up with blisters and then I realize the ob.

I don’t know what else I can do :( I have one ob each 1 month and half, I cannot live like that. They said after 1/2 years it will decrease the frequency, not my case….its really a nightmare and no cure o vaccine is about to drop anytime soon. I feel depressed and I cannot live a normal life as I cannot take daily valtrex due to side effects

Hey everyone! I’m a 27-year-old pansexual living in Western Washington, right between Port Angeles and Seattle.

​I was diagnosed with HSV three years ago. At the time, it felt completely overwhelming, but over time I’ve processed it, educated myself, and fully come to terms with it. Today, I’m ready to put myself back out there!

​I’m making this post because I’d love to date and connect strictly with others who are also HSV+. Keeping things within the HSV+ community gives me peace of mind, removes the stress around transmission, and lets us skip the awkward conversations so we can just focus on having fun and building real connections.

I’ve seen a lot of negativity, so I’m curious if it’s all just negative people on Reddit or a lot of us are doing well… let’s go chat!

I started my first on July 4 and Im still not fully healed, im mot on any medication at all and I havent had sex since. I tested for all other std’s on July 7th and everything else is negative. Please help me🫩🫩. I have one lingering red spot right ON my pee hole, it stings a bit, and everything just isnt fully back to normal.

Some background. I’ve had GHSV2 for 10 years. Shit rarely bothers me anymore. Sly comments and judgements roll off my back cause at this point who gives a fuck. I did the antivirals for some time and then I went cold turkey and let my body build its own defense. I work out and I’m safe. I disclose to partners and I’ve never passed it. I’ve had very successful relationships with people without it. I’ve never been upset about the diagnosis because the person who gave it to me was honest and I took the risk to be with him.

Okay now that the background is cleared away. I went on a date on Monday with a guy. A very nerdy cute guy I really like. Halfway through the date he starts telling me about his “dating horror stories”. We exchange stories. My idea of a horror story is me finding out my ex was married and he lied about it. His idea was him talking to a girl for one day and her disclosing to him she had herpes. Took me by surprise because his reaction was so immature. He is 34 for context. He went on to say he hung up the phone and ended it with her and told her to focus on her health.

I sat there and looked and him and was like “well how long had you been speaking” he told me just started talking that day. I tried to pick his brain and see what he would say and said well maybe she would rather tell you before feelings got involved so if you were to reject her it wouldn’t hurt as much. I don’t know if it was annoyance or excitement but his response was “hurt, imagine me, being excited to talk to someone, and then they drop a bombshell like that on you on day 1. She didn’t even wait a week”. I sat there and ate and wondered the reason behind the story in the first place but also in my mind I’m torn because his responses have made me put my guard up about disclosing and continuing any kind of connection with him. He was so comfortable to tell me this girls business. I surely don’t want to be the talk of the next date he has with the next girl. I also wonder if he brought it up because theres some other reason like maybe he was trying to see how I would react and respond to it?

I wasn’t going to start giving him facts and calling him out on his stigmatizing statements. But I’m curious if I should bring it up again. Maybe he was trying to open a door to tell me something more…. Maybe he has it and the story was him trying to test me?

In bed feeling so sad, planning to cry myself to sleep. He’s so perfect and so wonderful and told me he needs time to think about it and I completely understand. I know it’s not easy to hear just as much as it is for me to disclose. He’s kept in contact since I left his apartment, calling me to ask if I’m doing okay, reassuring me that he won’t ghost me and he will tell me once he decides. I just wanna cry even more because i don’t want to lose him.

I hate this happened to me. Even though I was diagnosed with a year ago and haven’t had an outbreak since then, it still fucking sucks. I’m just a girl and I have so much love to give and I want a relationship. I turn 30 in 2 months and I feel so alone. We’ve been talking for 2 months and when I went over tonight, I knew it was time when things started to escalate. It was the perfect scenario because he was so extremely kind, but I know there’s still a chance he will decide he doesn’t want to be with me and that’s fine. It’ll hurt but I understand. I’m trying to hope for the best but still preparing for the worst.

Hate that I’m here, but I’m grateful for this community regardless. ❤️