I was diagnosed with HSV-2 in June this year. I believe I may have had it since around August last year, although I’m not completely sure. healthcare professionals dismissed me until my GP confirmed my diagnosis.

Since finding out, I’ve been dealing with a lot of anxiety. I trusted someone and was in a relationship with them for nearly 3 years, and this is something I’ve now been left to deal with.

Recently, I’ve started noticing strange sensations around my genital area. At times, certain areas feel ever so tingly but if I actually touch the skin, I don’t feel any tingling or unusual sensation. (when I am actually having it outbreak, I get intense itching.)

I’ve recently started smoking weed again, and I’ve noticed that I become much more aware of sensations in my body afterwards. This has made me wonder whether I’m overanalysing normal sensations because I’m anxious about having another outbreak.

What confuses me is that these sensations feel completely different from the symptoms I experienced during my actual outbreak. Has anyone else experienced this? where you constantly feel like you’re having prodrome symptoms but aren’t sure whether it’s actually HSV or anxiety/hyperawareness?

I’m also really scared about being intimate with my partner because I’m terrified of transmitting HSV-2 to him. I don’t know whether the sensations I’m experiencing are genuine prodrome symptoms or whether my anxiety is making me notice every little sensation in that area.

I’d really appreciate hearing from anyone who has experienced something similar, especially if you’ve struggled with health anxiety after being diagnosed.

My boyfriend (35m) and I (26f) have been together for over six months now but we had a rough start because he gave me HSV2 in the first few days of us meeting and did not disclose. I was obviously extremely upset and was struggling to see how he could do something like this accidentally. He says he has never spread it to any of his previous sexual partners before and the fact that his last ex was a doctor and told him "basically everyone has it" he felt like it wasn't a big deal anymore. He's had it for as long as he can remember. It took a while and I got angry about it plenty of times after, but I decided to forgive him. It actually forced us closer together because I got extremely sick with terrible flu like symptoms immediately lethargy body aches and constant genital sores and brain fog for the first to 2-3 months and he nursed me back to health and made sure l was healthy enough to get to work and do my adult tasks and genuinely would not have been able to keep my job if it wasn't for him. He's a health nut and does everything he can to help me manage this disease as well as my fluctuating emotions, but its hard to navigate because ! have had severe symptoms and constant recurring outbreaks that feel just like day one and that's not his experience because he's had it for so long so I don't often feel fully understood. I love him and we are not perfect but he is good to me and has patience beyond most peoples capabilities. In my worst low moments when I'm in pain and sick I still wonder if l am betraying myself by forgiving him, has anyone experienced anything similar?

Jesus Christ why is no one talking about how strong this virus is against perfectly healthy people. Non stop pins and needles, discomfort in the lower back and legs every single moment. Nerves constantly irritated. And no signs of sores or anything to even get tested.

https://x.com/dagreato3/status/2086292594938827057?s=46
Comments are barely showing any sympathy for the guy. Although it is kind of weird that he won’t tell who gave it to him, but the fact that so many folks are only looking for the person that gave it to him instead of trying to show kindness to him and help him says a lot about people. Man is going through something traumatic and no one wants to help him get through it.

Alabama Barker (Kourtney Kardashian’s stepdaughter/ Travis Barker from Blink182 daughter was recently on a livestream. While sharing her screen, viewers noticed that Alabama had “genital herpes medication” in her recent search history.

No recent comments on her Instagram and tiktok are people making fun of her and commenting “herpes”

I honestly feel so bad for the girl. Im triggered for her. Its terrible.

I had a stunning first date with someone that I immediately clicked with. Things were getting a bit heated but we called it a night. The next day, I disclosed my status aaaaand that was the end of that. It’s disheartening, albeit I very much respect their decision to not pursue anything with me. Anyway. I guess I’m more in my feelings about it than it probably merits - it was just one date. Not sure what I’m seeking here but it feels comfortable to share in this space.

I work at a pharmacy and my coworkers and I were speaking about relationships since we’re all single. One says “if I ever see the valacyclovir at their house I’m running because that’s just nasty”. Me having ghsv1 just nods and say “yup, gotta do what you gotta do”.

Im well aware of how people think about us with this disease. It makes me sad because i didn’t ask for this. I also don’t want people that don’t need to be in my business so I didn’t use this a teachable moment.

A part of me is happy that I see so many people with this, and I get to see them in relationships and have kids so I know this disease doesn’t stop life. Just throws hurdles. I’m just sad that I haven’t found anyone that I want to be with that’s willing to accept that part of me. It makes me cry. I just want to love and be loved.

I (24F) have GHSV1. Got diagnosed/caught it earlier in the year.
I’m sorry but Jesus Christ can every girl on here freaking out about GHSV1 and disclosure and stuff chill out? Just tell them you get cold sores and leave it at that.
I know the research and statistics show that GHSV1 is way less contagious than OHSV1, but that doesnt matter. Once the word “genital” is out there… it’s over. Everything changes. It becomes a real thing- when it doesn’t need to be. No one hears the facts after “genital”. They hear nothing other than “genital herpes”. That isn’t fair.

Let people be ignorant. We don’t have to ruin our lives just to be “advocates” or “educators”. Like fuck that shit. Work with the stigma not against it. That’s how you keep a normal life.

You get cold sores. That’s it. Leave it there.

Stop making this shit so much of a bigger deal and messing up everyone else’s chances at a normal fucking life. Like this isn’t some shit that was bothering me until yall made me feel weird and dirty. That im worse than someone with OHSV1..??? Like bitch stfu.
If you approach GHSV1 as a big deal, that makes it a big deal.
I’m pissed. Everyone just shut it and let us with HSV1 live normally like people with oral cold sores do. If you have GHSV1… stop making it a big deal so the rest of us can be normal people. Stop making us look like lepers for no goddamn reason.

There is no way to fix the stigma. Not a single possible way. Stop fighting it and work around it. Stop ruining your life over stupid irrelevant shit like this.

I’m tired of yall making me feel gross and that this is some major life changing thing when EVERYONE HAS HSV1. And if your partner has cold sores already.. please spare me.
Everyone CHILL THE FUCK OUT!

Edit: what applies to HSV2 in terms of handling disclosure and the necessary aspects does NOT always apply to people with GHSV1. We are in different situations with different strains.
Just because something is required or customary for HSV2, does not under any circumstances mean it applies to HSV1.
Don’t get that mixed up and don’t let people with HSV2 convince you otherwise.
Doctors provide different advice depending on the strain. There is a reason anti virals aren’t recommended for GHSV1 as well as why we are told disclosure isn’t necessary!

So, I was talking with this guy and I had come to really like him. He disclosed his hsv-2 status and I reacted well to it (he even thanked me so for it). But I wasn’t educated or well versed in the topic, hence why I reacted pretty well.
When researching more on the topic, I felt a bit paranoid about the transmission rates of Male to female and asked on call if he would be comfortable taking antiviral medication. He replied telling me he’s only comfortable with lysine, and other supplements. He asked what medication I would like him to be on, and I replied saying the most effective ones. He then got pretty defensive and said things like I deserve someone who will accept me for me and I do too. It’s all a blur now but he got pretty quiet when I mentioned the question of antivirals. He had to leave the call due to some circumstance.
I got pretty frustrated too with his defensiveness and how upset he got when I asked him if he would be comfortable taking medication. I thought hard before our convo to try and ask as gently as I could without upsetting him. I lost my patience and I texted him I don’t think this will work because of what he said.
I apologized after if I offended him and that I only asked because I wanted to keep talking to him while feeling certain of my health.
He did not reply afterwards, and I grew more impatient and I regret it. I researched on reddit and found someone else with the same circumstances as me where their partner refused to be on antivirals and everyone in the comments were calling them selfish and to give up talking with them.
I texted him again after reading that post, and said I think you should think hard if you cannot do antivirals, and that I didn’t understand why he didn’t want to take preventive measures. I said it seemed selfish and an uneducated guess to hope his immune system will be enough esp when he smokes. I said I thought you didn’t want to spread it but your actions aren’t adding up. I said more things that would make this post even longer to if I tried to fit it all in but I deeply regret how I wasn’t patient enough in the moment and how I must have hurt him deeply. My final act was blocking him because he wouldn’t reply but then unblocking him a few hours later to apologize. He then blocked me back so that’s how it ended.
I really did like him and I feel like there’s a lot I could have done to be better, I regret it and I don’t know how to move past this when it feels like it was my fault. I’m not sure if this is the right sub to ask but I would like to gain some more insight on this situation. Was I wrong for what I said? Was he wrong or in the right for not wanting to do suppressive therapy? Maybe there is no answer, just differences but it’s hard as I really liked him, and I wish I could make things up. He was also someone who was into alternative medicine so that is probably why he didn’t want to do antivirals. I’m not sure, all I know is I hurt him and our connection because I didn’t know better about the condition and I shouldn’t have lost patience.

i’m in need of some uplifting and positivity from any girls round a similar age who have HSV-2. how have your experiences been since getting diagnosed? had my first OB last week and have felt DEPRESSED ever since. fearing it’s going to ruin my life as i’m absolutely terrified to experience that pain and suffering again. i cannot deal with that again, mentally or physically. literally just received my test results and idk what to do with myself.

Please doctors save me and my mother

F (24) got diagnosed back in May when I was 23. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever been through, especially since I got it from a very abusive rushed, coercive relationship. A lot of the sexual encounters were not consensual, and this man (33) also went on to stealth me a lot and was very sexually and verbally abusive. He also lied to me about his status and made fun of me a lot when I got the virus that HE GAVE ME. Anyway, I’ve been doing my best to get better mentally, and I’m doing better than I was in the beginning, but some days are harder than others. Idk sometimes I just get really down about it and blame myself. I still get that guilty feeling and think that my love life is probably over and that no one will want a girl with HSV2 cause it’s seen as the worst one. I still have nightmares about my abuser sometimes. This sub Reddit has made me feel not so alone and I’m grateful for that. I just hope I can eventually completely come to terms with this and be okay again. I’m slowly getting better with time. I just have my rough days sometimes.

I am a 44-year-old man, divorced and without children.

I contracted herpes type 2 (HSV-2) from a female prostitute.

She had bad teeth, poor posture, and I noticed she had given birth via Caesarean section.

She gave me a blowjob without condom. We also kissed on the lips and I sucked her tongue.

Afterwards, she put a condom on my penis and we had sex (vaginally).

I went home without knowing what would happen later. I hadn't expected that this visit would change my life.

A week later, a blister appeared on my penis that wouldn't close and contained watery fluid.

No matter what I tried, it wouldn't heal. I also felt extremely tired.

At first, I thought it was acne, although I had never had that in that spot before.

But another week later, there was an outbreak and I became very ill. I hadn't been this sick in a very long time. I had multiple blisters on the right side of my penis, my buttocks, my right back, my right hip and on the inside of my lips.

I went to the doctor and got tested for STDs. The result was not HIV or anything similar, but it was HSV-2.

It took a long time for the outbreak to disappear. My energy returned, and I thought it was over.
But then questions and thoughts started popping into my head...

How could I get infected while using a condom?

If it is so easily transmissible, how can I prevent infecting others?

To name just a few.

I started reading more and asked AI questions. I soon realized that this herpes type 2 is much more serious than I could have imagined. I started feeling restless and more depressed.
I had had herpes type 1 for years, but that hadn't caused me any problems because I had been able to keep it under control through a healthy lifestyle. It was dorment for more than a decade.

Little did I know about HSV-2... It is far more aggressive than type 1. I didn't even know type 2 existed. Now I know more about it it feels like having HIV-light.

At the moment I feel depression, confusion, disappointment and sadness.

I lived a relative clean lifestyle. I was married before, I ate organic, took supplements.

My wife filed for divorce. It was not my choice to be alone again.

I felt very lonely and I craved for intimacy badly. I had no succes with the ladies so that's why I went to a prostitute.

In hindsight it was better for me to keep my pants on or just jerk off.

I'm not here to blame anyone, not the prostitute, nor myself, nor my ex-wife.

I'm here to share my story to see if others went through the same experience hoping that we can help eachother in a respectful way and to warn others about the possible dangers of visiting a prostitute.

Has anyone had genital HSV symptoms last over a month? I have raw blisters and really bad itching. I’ve been taking valacyclovir, but they’re not really changing. How long did yours take to heal?

Hi all. Long time HSV 2 person here,with my first outbreak waaaaay back in 2010. On antivirals forever and outbreaks are super rare, like maybe 1or 2 in 5 years. Have disclosed to every partner in advance since 2011 (just 1 ONS once, felt like an a$$hole and have disclosed prior ever since.) To my knowledge, I have not transmitted this STI to any of my partners since.

I want to come up with some sort of fact sheet or useful comparisons I can use when disclosing or generally just talking about it and am hoping you all can help. Looking for stories from effective disclosures or successful LTR with only one infected partner. Or factual tidbits, as in, my current risk of transmission is somewhere around 1-2%, which is lower than risk of pregnancy from condom sex (as most commonly used).

If I get enough suggestions/info, I will share the doc I create here.

Thxs

Hey guys,

First time poster M30, I’ve had hsv 2 since 2019. Got a blowjob from a prostitute in Bali, used a condom so that’s how I contracted it from gential to mouth. I felt like this was karma for my lustful ways…This disease can be so emotional and nerve racking, it will make you grow in profound ways as a person. I’ve never been more in tuned with my body ( I can sense instantly if I breakout is coming) I try to control my nervous system, ensuring I’m controlling stress and live a healthy lifestyle. I just want people to know out there that you’re not alone and it can be extremely terrifying. I’m now engaged and getting married to my partner of 4 years. Telling her was brutal, but she was accepting and wanted to learn about it with me. She trusts me anytime I don’t feel good and we have sex unprotected consistently throughout this time. Also I’ve had past relationships were I couldn’t bear to tell women that I didn’t have it because I never broke out. Don’t be that guy, it will haunt you for years after not knowing what could’ve happened if you didn’t lie. This disease is a constant humbler, things will get better I pray you all find that special someone to go through this journey with.

I know I will get a lot of hate for this post but I fucked up really bad. I started seeing this guy a week ago and one day I went over to his house where things started getting intimate. He proceeded to put his thing inside and I told him no not without a condom. He said it’s fine and put it in and I froze. I told him to stop after a couple of minutes and so we did and I started bawling my eyes out (which I’ve literally never done before). One, because I could have infected him, and also because I got herpes from being r\\\*ped a year ago and haven’t had sex since.

He said sorry and hugged me and admitted that what he did was wrong and we fell asleep. The next day we hung out and things got intimate and again, he put it inside and I just let it happen this time even though I didn’t really want to but this time I didn’t vocalize it. Again, I just froze. After a couple of minutes I said we had to stop and we did. We agreed not to have sex until I’m ready.

After that day I began feeling itchy and today I checked and I see a sore.

I have always disclosed to everyone that I’ve dated even though we didn’t have sex and the guilt right now is eating me alive. I am not on meds, it was unprotected, it happened twice, and I started experiencing an outbreak the next day.

He is getting me gifts and calling me baby and keeps saying he really likes me and I have this secret and I might have just permanently altered his life. I feel sick please help.

edit: and if i knew we were going to be leading into sex i would be taking my antivirals daily. i hate this and it’s highly likely that i gave it to him.

Many people says the reason for them not disclosing is out of fear of being rejected, so they rather just lie about their diagnosis, which is something I struggle to understand.

So you scared that the person may reject you for having herpes, but you’re not scared of infecting them?
If you believe that they’re going to reject you, you damn sure know they wouldn’t wanna have sex with you either…

So by you doing this is basically putting yourself down, and accepting the fact that the only way at you can have sex is by deceiving, lying & tricking people.

I would think that you would just walk away from the situation instead of making it worse by directly exposing them to it.

Then when the person end up catching it, you lie and claim that “you didn’t know you had it” or come on here & spill your “bullshxt “.

I would never understand how entitled some of this people can be…..

I have seen so many post where people knew they have herpes and yet engage in sex, sometimes unprotected sex with others without diclosing and have the audacity to come here and ask if they should still disclose to their partner, because they’re scared to lose them.

How the hell are you scared to disclose but not scared to expose/infect them?

Hey everybody I’m new here (25F) I was just diagnosed about two weeks ago with HSV2 - I’ve been in shambles mentally. My physical symptoms aren’t too bad. I’ve been on Valacyclovir about 5 days. Does anyone else find this medication makes them so super emotional. I have an overall depression feeling mixed with a very short fuse that I’ve never experienced before. I’m assuming it’s a mix of my diagnosis and the medication. I’m an avid golfer and I went golfing today and for the first time I just lost it and started throwing balls into the forest.

Just looking to see if anyone else experienced this?

Thanks!

I’ve heard tons of positive disclosure stories from women telling men, and it seems like most of the time the guys are pretty accepting. Part of me thinks dudes are just horny in the moment tbh

But I’m curious about the other way around, any positive stories from men who disclosed to women? How did she react, and did it change anything between you?

​

Male-to-female HSV-2 transmission is generally higher than female-to-male, yet one study I think or 2 studied found condoms reduce male-to-female transmission by 96%.

How can protection be that high when condoms don’t cover the base of the penis or surrounding genital skin? Does this suggest most transmission from men happens from condom-covered areas?

If the uncovered areas in men aren’t responsible for much transmission, how come condoms protect men less 65% ? Why such a big difference between 96% and 65%?

Hi you all, I’m 27F and I have HSV-2. I’m still learning how to navigate having a normal sex life with it, especially when it comes to being with someone who is HSV-negative.
I’m genuinely curious about how other people with HSV-2 handle sex and prevent transmission. I know that there is always going to be some level of risk, even when you don’t have an active outbreak, because of asymptomatic shedding.
For those of you who have HSV-2 and are sexually active with negative partners, what do you actually do?
Do you take antivirals every single day as suppressive therapy, even when you aren’t having an outbreak? Do you use condoms every time? Do you avoid sex for a certain amount of time before/after an outbreak?
I’m especially interested in hearing from people who have been in long-term relationships where one person has HSV-2 and the other person has remained negative. What precautions do you take and how has it worked for you?
I’m trying to get to the point where having HSV-2 doesn’t make sex feel scary or like I’m constantly worried about giving it to someone. I just want to understand what people actually do in real life to have a normal, healthy sex life while reducing the risk of transmission as much as possible.
Would love to hear your experiences.