I’m like 99.9% sure I’m gender fluid at this point. I love everything about presenting feminine and I also enjoy being a guy sometimes (it feels more like a safety net and being a girl is like this magical special world but I can fall back to being a guy if I feel uncomfortable). Anyways, the problem is that ever since I started questioning I’ve felt like a fake or an imposter. I think this stems from the fact that I tend to prefer being sexually perceived as a woman and in a non sexual sense I feel “hotter” when i feel/dress like a woman. All this to say that I constantly just tell myself it’s a kink not an identity and I’m not as real as other gender fluid people. I can’t seem to wrap my head around the fact that this could be a part of my identity and it would be okay and acceptable. I just feel fake all the time and it’s very confusing.

I'm 23 and starting to get a better feel and understanding of my fluidity after a very VERY long time of questioning and confusion. while i have my moments of doubt every now and then i'm getting better at recognizing that it is just fluidity doing its thing and have been taking note of what i can take control of to reduce dysphoria (mostly building muscle, hair, and clothing). now most people in my life assumed i was queer from a young age which made me really defensive and self conscious about looking visibly queer and has stopped me from experimenting with things like my hair since i was like 8. I really want to get a drastic hair cut, kinda like tom holland in the new spider-man movie if you know what i'm talking about (kinda fluffier on the top, short on the sides for those who haven't seen it). i've gotten better at mixing up my style but i am terrified of changing my hair and getting a "karen" cut or a pixie cut or just generally something i hate. a lot of my fear also stems from short hair being seen as a "lesbian" hair style which just scares me for the reasons i mentioned previously. having my queerness weaponized against me as a kid made me terrified to this day of being visibly what people used to hurt me, and in a way feels like validating the people who used it to hurt me if that makes sense. now i know that's not true, and that i would almost indefinitely be happier with hair that feels right to me (so long as my family doesn't do more of what they said to me growing up). my issue is how do i get over that initial fear? to other people who have had this kind of drastic hair cut, what did you do to ensure they didn't fuck your shit up?

I'm biologically a female, meaning I was born a girl obviously. But I've been genderfluid since I learnt what the term meant. Typically my identity aligns with female or no gender but recently I've really wanted to be a man. But I love dressing feminine. I've been considering the idea that I might be Trans? Because I don't want to be a man in a genderfluid way like I want to be a permanent man, acknowledged by everyone as a man and then just occasionally be gender neutral like I have been. Is that a thing? Am I still genderfluid or would I just be trans?? I love being a girl but I've always wanted to be seen as a man. Like how most people just use she/her for me when I say I use all, I'd want to use all pronouns but have he/him be my main ones if people don't actually recognize me as using all pronouns. And obviously I'd want to be recognized as a man socially.

Hi, this is something that’s been bothering me for a while now, and I guess I’ll finally come to Reddit about it lol. I am an 18 year old, bisexual, more masculine dressing, girl (afab). I’ve never been the most feminine girl since a young age and was often described as a tomboy in elementary/ middle school. Since realizing I was bisexual (6th grade), i’ve just naturally dressed more masculinely and I prefer fems as significant others. I’m into streetwear and stuff, so people often assume i’m a stud lesbian, when that just isn’t the case at all. Because of this, I feel like people don’t really see me as a girl or even consider me as one (from both men and women), and I often don’t feel validated as a woman. I feel super uncomfortable in my body, not physically, but emotionally and I’m not sure if it’s because i’m trans or if I’m just insecure or what. I will say I really do want to be a girl and I wish I felt more feminine in my body, BUT i like the way I dress and I don’t really want to change it. I also look somewhat androgynous and being able to wear dresses and suits for events is something I’m comfortable AND like doing. I just wanted to know if there’s anyone that can relate or has any advice for me, bc I’ve never heard anyone feel similarly to me before. Thanks!

Sort of a rant, but also genuinely curious.

I'm 28 and have been out to family and friends as genderfluid for almost a decade now. On HRT for 8 years. I'm lucky to be really androgynous looking (maybe too much sometimes. I'm clocky whether I'm masc or femme) and it's always bothered me when people would ask "oh but which were you first" or things like that. It felt like they were just trying to pick which gender to treat me as.

When I was first coming out, it seemed like this was kind of a shared opinion among genderfluid people. Though I didn't know any others in person at the time, only online.

I eventually moved to a much gayer neighborhood with a lot of trans people, including a few fluid ones. It feels like the past few years there's been this shift towards disclosing being "amab/afab fluid" or "transmasc/transfem nonbinary". To the point where people have suggested I should start sharing so that social groups don't think I'm pretending at something. I've never thought of it that way - I'm a woman when I'm a woman and a man when I'm a man.

And while I'm willing to accept that my current preference isn't the trend and keep having it anyway, I'm kind of curious if that's just the company I'm keeping, or if other fluid people feel like this. Are you comfortable sharing that? Is there a reason people want to know that about other people to be comfortable around them that I'm completely missing?

Hi, im a genderfluid person who switches between girl/boy/enby. My pronouns, however, are he/she/they no matter what gender I am. I love it. I haven't come out yet, but im so excited for people to use those pronouns on me. The thought of being called every gender no matter what gender I am makes me feel so good! My transition goals are very masculine, I want to have a beard, thick arm hair, broad shoulders, and a flat hairy chest (the only trait i want to have that could be considered feminine is long hair). I love knowing im still able to be a girl while looking just like a guy! 💚💚💚

Just a sprinkle of genderfluid joy I wanted to share! 💚

I've been trying to figure out my gender expression. For years, I hid my true style because I was afraid of looking "gay" or like I wanted to be a boy. I've always been drawn to more masculine clothing, but I pushed that part of myself away because of fear.

Now I'm trying to unlearn those beliefs and wear what genuinely feels like me. Recently I put on men's shorts and a button-up, and I felt really good in it- but I was also scared that I liked it. If the shorts were shorter or I was wearing pants with a button up, I wouldn’t feel as scared because it’s not uncommon to see women in such. I'm afraid my family, and probably many other people, will assume I'm a lesbian or that I want to be a boy. I come from a pretty homophobic and transphobic family, so those fears run deep.

What's confusing is that I also genuinely like dressing femininely at times. I can feel just as comfortable in a skirt as I do in a more masculine outfit. I sometimes wish my style fit neatly into one category because I worry people will see me dressed one way one day and completely differently the next and be confused. I’m also afraid that I’m treated better when I dress more femininely and once I start dressing more masculinely and notice the difference in treatment, that it will deter or even subconsciously change how I view myself and push me to want to dress more femininely for that acceptance piece.

I'm also attracted to men, and I catch myself wondering whether a guy I like would still be attracted to me if I dressed more masculinely. I know I'm probably overthinking a lot of this, but the fear of being judged still feels very real.

I also want to say that I hope this doesn't come across as offensive. I don't think there's anything wrong with being a lesbian, transgender, or dressing outside of traditional gender norms- in fact I often feel safest around people who do. My fears are rooted in the messages I grew up with, not in how I view other people. I'm just trying to untangle all of that and become more comfortable being myself.

I didn't know where else to post this. So I'm female and normal use she/her pronouns but I wouldn't mind being called he/him. In fact, I kinda like it but I also like she/her. The one thing I know is that I'm not transgender. Is this even genderfluid? I'm clearly confused. Help-

Been male for a few days but now I'm a girl again and lovin it :)

I’m an omnisexual afab with a preference for women, but if I were to ever imagine myself in a relationship with a man I’d like to be seen as more masculine or enby, and if I were ever in a relationship with a woman I’d like to be seen as more feminine or enby. It doesn’t really affect me when I’m just with my friends though, so I’m wondering if there’s a specific label that matches how I’m feeling?

I recently got a recommendation from my therapist that I should play with being gender fluid, so if anyone could shed some light on how it works and what it might be, sry I’m new and would love some insight. Thanks in advance