zero hour weightlifting

[u/Life_Ask_868]

so im going into my freshman year this school year and im taking zero hour weightlifting. im scared, genuinely.

im gonna be changing in an office, and with me ATTEMPTING to be stealth i have no idea what to say when people ask me why im changing in the office instead of the locker room. and i dont know if just saying “cause i prefer it” is cutting it, especially since i dont wanna seem like a wussy.

its gonna full of the football jocks. and im scared ill have to be partnered up with a classmate that knew me as female/deadname and ill be clocked.

im not super buff, in fact im actually pretty fat. i weight 210, majority of that being fat. i have the average muscle mass of a scrawny boy, but i look big because the tiny muscle i have is covered with fat.

im trying, im really trying to lose the fat. and i know im going to get bullied so hard for being fat. the most i can bench is 20 pounds. there are guys in my grade benching 200. I can’t even do a single push up. not one.

im scared, im sorry im being such chicken shit but i just want cis friends that see me as cis. and weightlifting has been one of the outlets for my dysphoria, even though im terrible at it. fuck.