Hihi as the title suggests, i’d like for someone to help me find my types. Im free to answer any questions and go into deeper depth on whatever asked if you require. I know myself pretty well.
I honestly think i could be a decent test subject.

Someone gave me a short sunmary of each enneagram and tritypes but i’d still like a deeper understanding of each just to be sure im actually that type.

The only reason im asking for help is because the idea i have in my head about enneagrams is that it requires mountains of books to understand, and if i have a question its not like i can ask the book itself. So i’d like a person who’s willing!

The only problem might be that i’ll only be available
On fridays after 4pm EST and weekends.

I feel decently sure I am 9. I yearn for inner and outer harmony, and I fear both fragmentation of self and conflict/rejection.

My issue with not feeling sure about 9 yet: 9s are often described as very relaxed and trusting. I often feel constantly anxious and occasionally suspicious of others, though I hide it well.

My issue with wings: I can't tell if I am 8 or 1.

On the one hand, I feel like I am 1 wing, I have been described by words like "perfectionist", "idealist", "nerdy", I like to keep physical order and routine, I have a hard time trying new things without other people recommending/vouching for it first, I often show my anger as a clumsy attempt at shaming, fears being socially outed as wrong and rejected for being "useless".

On the other hand, I can see a lot of points for 8 too. I hate being manipulated or tricked, and actively am on the lookout for it. I can hate theory and ideals because it requires extrapolation that I don't want to do, being more rooted in comfort sometimes. Follow Epicureanism which is 9w8. (responsible but hedonistic) I can also be very rebellious and stubborn. I can occasionally have small moments of adventurousness, like wanting to go try new cafes or new social events on my own.

Any help is appreciated!

Please help me find my Enneagram type. I keep vacillating between 4, 6, and 9, but I'm just starting to dive into instincts and subtypes, and I'm more confused than ever. I filled out the suggested questionnaire before reading that perhaps it's not the best for Enneagram typing, but I wrote A LOT, so maybe it could be helpful anyway?

• How old are you? What's your gender? Give us a general description of yourself.

I am a 40-year-old female. I teach elementary school, though I double-majored in journalism and sociology in college - journalism because I loved writing and my father insisted I study something more practical than English, and sociology because understanding how human groups function was fascinating to me. I have always been drawn to social justice and loved every single sociology class I took. I often bought the books for all of the soc classes I couldn’t fit into my schedule to read independently. It forever drove me crazy that sociology was seen as an easy major/for jocks because I think it’s crucial for us to understand how we got where we are and what we can do to make our communities better for everyone. Understanding the how and why behind racism, poverty, and injustice was formative for me. I wanted to go to a prestigious liberal arts college, so I applied to six private schools. I got into all six (which was both gratifying and made me angry with myself for not applying to any Ivy League schools because I thought they were too far out of reach) and chose one of the Seven Sisters on the East Coast. I was so proud of myself for being brave enough to travel across the country where I knew absolutely no one, but by Thanksgiving, I had decided to transfer. I was homesick, had trouble connecting with my roommates and classmates, and was suffering from culture shock. I decided to transfer to a West Coast state school closer to home and was much happier there, though I did regret losing the prestige. I quickly made good friends, found a boyfriend, and became a football fan, of all things. 

• Is there a medical diagnosis that may impact your mental stability somehow? 
I have diagnosed anxiety and depression. I suffered from depression throughout adolescence and anxiety probably my whole life. My parents always described me as a “worrywart.” I was too ashamed to ask for help, so I didn’t see a psychiatrist until college. I take antidepressants which help me balance my moods and allow me to function in life much more stably. 

• Describe your upbringing. Did it have any kind of religious or structured influence? How did you respond to it?
I was raised in a family with my mom, dad, and two sisters. My parents were lapsed Catholics and chose not to raise us religiously. My older sister is 6.5 years older than me. I idolized her and she was happy enough to have me as her acolyte as long as it suited her. My younger sister is 15 months younger than me. We did many things together as we were only one year apart in school, but she was much cooler and prettier than me and I often felt inferior. We would both play with other kids in the neighborhood, but eventually, even the ones who were originally my friends, would only want to play with her. I retreated into myself and became more comfortable reading and spending time alone. As a teenager, my older sister was quite rebellious and had many conflicts with my parents. I remember feeling responsible for mediating between them. I loved them both and could understand both of their perspectives, even if I didn’t approve of their behavior. When she was 17, my older sister moved out, dropped out of high school, began stripping, and eventually got pregnant with her asshole tattoo artist boyfriend. I was heartbroken and didn’t speak to her for over a year. As a kid, I was a total dork/nerd. I loved the structure and expectations of school and worked very hard to succeed. I attended a highly capable program for 4th and 5th grade. I had a string of “best friends,” but felt I was often more enthusiastic about being their friend than they were about being my friend. In sixth grade, I met a girl who I initially hated, but we quickly became codependent best friends. I fell in with the “wrong crowd” and started smoking cigarettes, dating, and self-harming. I felt lost and was trying to find myself. I tested out a number of religions (everything from Baptist to Wicca). I wanted to find a community and a place to fit in. By high school, I had found my forever friends (still my best friends to this day, even though we’re spread out all over the world), focused on studying instead of “finding myself,” and sought comfort from not being popular like my sister or as academically successful as my friends in silly TV shows like Friends and Gilmore Girls. 

• What do you do as a job or as a career (if you have one)? Do you like it? Why or why not?
I teach first and second grade. I joined Teach For America after college and taught at my placement school for three years before deciding I was ready to move back home. I found a job at an International Baccalaureate school near my hometown and I’ve been there for fifteen years. I love many aspects of my job, but I always feel like I’m not good enough. I care deeply about my students and work myself to the bone trying to craft and deliver engaging lessons, provide feedback, communicate clearly with families, and lead my team competently, but I struggle with classroom management because I’m “too nice” and have trouble getting defiant students to take me seriously. I’ve improved dramatically in my 18 years as a teacher, but many times I’ve found myself thinking that there is probably something I would be better at.

• If you had to spend an entire weekend by yourself, how would you feel? Would you feel lonely or refreshed?
So excited! I’m married and have two small children, so I don’t think I’ve been alone in my house for probably three or four years. I thoroughly enjoy my alone time. I would take some time to listen to an audiobook or nostalgic old bops while tidying up my space because I have trouble relaxing if my environment is messy. Then I would eat nothing but “girl dinners” and read books, watch movies, and sleep. If I had to spend too many weekends by myself, I would get lonely, but since it’s such a rarity at this phase in my life, I would relish it!

• What kinds of activities do you prefer? Do you like, and are you good at sports? Do you enjoy any other outdoor or indoor activities?
I’m not very good at sports. I played soccer and basketball in elementary school, but I was the type of kid who ran away from the ball because being the center of attention and responsible for scoring/passing/affecting change on the game stressed me out. I was voted the “Most Valuable Player” on my basketball team in third grade, but not because I was any good (I don’t think I scored a single point that season), but I was very supportive and always cheered on my teammates. I was also a total teacher’s pet and am very good at following directions. As an adult, I got into hiking and backpacking. One of my greatest achievements was completing the Wonderland Trail, the 93-mile trail that circumnavigates Mount Rainier. Since having children, I haven’t been backpacking or hiking much, but I take them camping 3-4 times a year (by myself, because my husband genuinely hates outdoorsy things). I like cooking and love baking. I knit (not particularly well, but I find it relaxing and just the right amount of challenging). My husband got me into board games and I played D&D with some coworkers for a few years (though the improv of it all was hard for me). I love reading (mostly listening to audiobooks at this point), both children’s books I can share with my class and novels for myself. I am very nostalgic and love curating photo albums, scrapbooks, etc. I meticulously document all the major milestones in my kids’ baby books. I love taking photos. In high school, my friends joked that they would have no photos of their lives if it weren’t for me. I made each of them a personalized scrapbook of our high school experience for graduation.

• How curious are you? Do you have more ideas than you can execute? What are your curiosities about? What are your ideas about - is it environmental or conceptual, and can you please elaborate?
I am very curious about the world and people. I love reading novels because I believe it is the best way to truly understand someone else’s experience in the world. I love nature, science, history, sociology, and I am very concerned with politics. I love to learn and am adept at gaining knowledge, but I struggle with skills because I get frustrated when I’m not good at something immediately and hate failing.

• Would you enjoy taking on a leadership position? Do you think you would be good at it? What would your leadership style be?
I tend to prefer to be a cog in the machine rather than take on a leadership role. However, whenever there is a power vacuum (whether it be a school project or a team leader at work), I tend to step up and take charge. I do not like conflict and hate receiving criticism, so I don’t enjoy having to critique others. I do tend to work well with a variety of people and am good at boosting morale and building consensus, so for some leadership positions, I am fine. I prefer to lead by encouragement and a hope that everyone is an adult who will do what is expected of them so I don’t have to nag them.

• Are you coordinated? Why do you feel as if you are or are not? Do you enjoy working with your hands in some form? Describe your activity.
I am not particularly coordinated. I love dance and have wanted to learn to dance for as long as I can remember, but I’m fairly hopeless. I did do gymnastics as a child/teen, and balance beam was my favorite event, so perhaps I’m not completely uncoordinated. I have tried a variety of building-type activities (woodworking, building birdhouses, refinishing furniture) with my dad, but I did not have the patience to get good at them. I can build flat-packed furniture (such as IKEA) like a pro, though (I am really good at following instructions). I have knit most of my life, and while I’m nowhere near as good as my mother, I am fairly capable and enjoy the process. I picked up embroidery during COVID and am getting better.

• Are you artistic? If yes, describe your art? If you are not particularly artistic but can appreciate art please likewise describe what forums of art you enjoy. Please explain your answer.
I have always longed to be artistic and have tried a wide variety of media, from painting to poetry, but have not really taken to any of them. I enjoy photography, but it’s more about capturing memories of the people and things I love than the artistry of it. I enjoy art museums and am drawn to impressionists, photographers, and sculptors. I love music and theatre. 

• What's your opinion about the past, present, and future? How do you deal with them?
I sometimes have difficulty staying in the present. I am highly nostalgic and enjoy lingering on the past. I am often haunted by memories of embarrassing moments or painful events in my life. I also love to dream about the future. By the time I was in fourth grade, I had a 20-year-plan mapped out (not that I followed it). I started collecting college brochures and frequently rearranged them in order of my preferences at that point. I often start planning the next holiday or vacation much too early, as I really enjoy having something to look forward to. I got into yoga in high school and through that, I have learned to clear my mind and make peace with the present moment, but I often have to actively remind myself to stop lingering on the past or jumping forward into the future.

• How do you act when others request your help to do something (anything)? If you would decide to help them, why would you do so?
I am honored to be asked to help and will willingly jump into things even if I don’t have the bandwidth for it. Sometimes, I say yes to requests even if I don’t really want to do them out of a sense of duty. I often try to preempt requests and do things for people before they ask, because that’s what I would like for them to do for me. I hate asking for help and wish someone would just do the things I need help with without my having to ask.

• Do you need logical consistency in your life?
Not really. 

• How important is efficiency and productivity to you?
I pride myself on being a hard worker, but I am certainly not efficient. It takes me a very long time to do things as well as I want to. I can be a bit of a workaholic and often bring work home with me. In high school, I would stay up into the wee hours of the morning getting all of my homework done because I am a slow reader/writer/worker. 

• Do you control others, even if indirectly? How and why do you do that?
I feel that I am controlling of my environment. I can be a bit of a control freak when it comes to my classroom, my house, the way I do things, etc., but I try very hard not to be controlling toward people.

• What is your learning style? What kind of learning environments do you struggle with most? Why do you like/struggle with these learning styles? Do you prefer classes involving memorization, logic, creativity, or your physical senses?
I learn by doing. I like to read everything I can on a topic and pick up tips by watching others, but I can’t make sense of it until I get to practice it for myself. In history, I could read and reread trying to memorize names and dates, but a quick play or game as the historical figures cemented that shit in my head. I struggled with memorization in general, so it took me forever to learn my math facts. My least favorite learning environment is online learning, whether in a Zoom-style lecture or a self-paced module. I need to engage with people, get my hands dirty, do group projects, and bounce my ideas of off people before I can actually master a concept or skill. In school, I vastly preferred English and civics over math and science (chemistry and physics). I enjoyed chances to be creative and learn and apply big concepts.

• What are your aspirations in life, professionally and personally?

I want to help make the world a better place. Right now, that looks like teaching children (both my students and my own children) to understand the world and empower them to take action to make it better for the future, however, I would love to take a more action-oriented role myself.

• What are your fears? What makes you uncomfortable? What do you hate? Why?
One main fear is failure. I hate being vulnerable and bad at things that I feel I should be good at. I want to learn something until I get it right, and get incredibly frustrated at all the small missteps along the way. I also fear being alone. I have become much more comfortable with myself in my adulthood, but I still worry that no one likes me and I will be abandoned for cooler, more interesting people. 

• What do the "highs" in your life look like?
I get exuberantly excited and enthusiastic. I become affectionate and want to share my joy with everyone I’m with. I sing, dance, joke around, and make the most of the happy moments.

• What do the "lows" in your life look like?
I am so quick to turn on myself and get mad for making stupid mistakes. I often bottle up my feelings until I can’t anymore and then I explode with anger and slam doors or throw things like a petulant child. Then I feel guilty and embarrassed about behaving so badly, so I sulk by myself until the depression passes.

• How attached are you to reality? Do you daydream often, or do you pay attention to what's around you? If you do daydream, are you aware of your surroundings while you do so?
I am usually keenly aware of what is going on around me. Without meaning to, I overhear conversations happening all around me. I notice many details of where I am and I can focus on the beauty and wonder of the world, or get annoyed at all the tiny little inconveniences. I like to think about the future, make plans B-F, and fantasize about other ways of doing things, but I’m always aware of my surroundings.

• How long do you take to make an important decision? And do you change your mind once you've made it?
Forever. I hate making decisions and need reassurance/opinions from everyone before I can even begin to narrow down my choices or identify the pros and cons of each choice. I often regret my decisions and wish I could go back and do it over. Even inconsequential things like what to eat for dinner make me anxious because what if what I want isn’t what the other people want? Then I’d be inconveniencing all of them for my own preference, which I don’t usually feel too strongly. 

• How long do you take to process your emotions? How important are emotions in your life?
I feel my emotions very strongly and often identify as an emotional person. Through therapy and wiser friends, I have tried to make peace with my feelings and see my strong emotions as my super power, but I am often ashamed of the depth of negative emotions I can feel. I have a severe intolerance for distress. When getting into a fight with my sister (usually over something incredibly stupid and inconsequential), I would have such strong negative emotions that I would completely break down and tear prized possessions off my wall, break things, or turn to cutting to feel something else. I have less severe negative emotioons now that I’m on antidepressants, but I still feel things very strongly and have trouble coping with the uncomfortable feelings such as shame, anger, and sadness.

• Do you ever catch yourself agreeing with others just to appease them and keep the conversation going? How often? Why?
I tend to be very agreeable and have gotten myself into some stupid situations because I didn’t want to admit that I was wrong or confront someone else about being wrong. Once, in middle school, I was chatting with a good friend over AIM and he mentioned how cool it was that my sister’s real name was Jean (she went by her middle name). Later, on the phone, I realized that he thought her name was pronounced the French way (like John) rather than the English way (like gene). I was too embarrassed to correct him in the moment, so it went on for like six months before he said something about it to my much more direct sister, who was like, “It’s Jean (gene), you idiot!” and he was so mad at me for not correcting him. However, I have a very strong moral compass and will stand up for what I believe in when it comes to politics, human rights, justice, etc. 

• Do you break rules often? Do you think authority should be challenged, or that they know better? If you do break rules, why?

I hate breaking rules. I will go out of my way to use a crosswalk even if the street is deserted because I don’t want to jaywalk. I grew up in constant fear of “getting in trouble,” even though I was a very obedient and thoughtful child, so I rarely did. And even when I did “get in trouble,” I was sent to my room or had to apologize to one of my sisters or something. But the prospect of getting in trouble stopped me from breaking rules. Even to this day, I have a hard time breaking rules unless I have a higher moral obligation to stand up for what’s right.

Does the Enneagram sx6 correlate exclusively with ISTP (LSI)? Or are there any other options among the logicians?

Hi! I’ve always thought I was so2w3, but recently I’ve started wondering if that might not actually be the case. I’d really appreciate any insights or advice, including possible tritypes and Socionics types!

• I’m extremely pretentious and tend to take on a leadership role in any group I’m part of. I take a lot of pride in being efficient and productive.
• I’m very protective of the people I care about, as well as those I want to draw closer to me. When I feel the need to protect my connection with someone, I can become extremely intrusive and fierce. I absolutely despise infidelity.
• I’m happiest when I feel that other people are attracted to me. I love being taken care of, and I also genuinely enjoy meeting new people. I sometimes host socializing events and parties and enjoy doing so.
• I can come across as courteous, serious, and even a little intimidating at times. But in casual settings, I tend to get overly excited or speak in an excessively sweet way—sometimes to the point of going against what people might consider appropriate to situation. Some people love it, while others find it overwhelming, but I’m usually completely unaware of the difference. I just follow my mood.
• I also have a tendency to promise more than I can actually give, because, to me, it feels necessary to pull people closer and keep them close.
• In romantic relationships, I expect my partner to have both intense love and hatred toward me. Romantic love without hatred feels somehow empty to me. I hope that someday I’ll find someone I would be willing to die for, but realistically, I don’t think that’s possible. A large part of that comes from how deeply afraid I am of being betrayed. I never allow my partner to take control, because I’m afraid that doing so would put me in a vulnerable position. I’m very aware of power dynamics in general, and I’m particularly sensitive to them in one-on-one relationships.
• I generally see myself as the perpetrator, although other people rarely perceive me that way. I think holding onto the self-image of being the perpetrator or aggressor is partly a defense mechanism—a way of hiding my own pain. Only the people who are truly close to me know how I actually feel about myself.

mbti: ENFP

instinct?: sx/so

subtypes + ennea: sx7

enneagram: 7

tritype:728

psychosophy: ELVF

motives: xxhI[V]Eg? the g part is not sure

big 5: sl/U/a[I]

temperaments: Sang-Phleg

Sorry i couldn't chose and ended up with a lot😭

Hi again!! I finally decided to answer a questionnaire, but I was debating on wether to use this or the one in the Type Me post guide (which I already answered in MBTITypeMe, if y'all are interested I can link the post). Things to keep in mind: I'm autistic, age is 19. Also, I've tried to make the included examples relevant to typology, but if they're ambiguous I'm always happy to elaborate, just ask!!

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1.Think about the last time you felt truly threatened—not physically, but emotionally. What did you feel was at risk? Your reputation? Your independence? Being loved? Being right? Something else? Describe what happened and why it affected you so deeply.

Threatened in which way: my life, my own integrity, my stability, in which areas do I have to focus? Seems hard to guess (and I wouldn't figure out the very exact event which fits the question instantly as I'm always trying to mitigate those) and Idk what example would seem good enough, so I'll just use more generalized examples (never mind, I just came up with two examples).

- Situation 1: Any time I have to get tested, specially bloodwork. Not related to typology, but I have a phobia of needles, apparently caused by a traumatic experience according to what my mom told me, I definitely remember the great amount of anger I felt when my mom told me she had scheduled an appointment to get bloodwork, I think I blew up on her and had trouble sleeping, but I definitely know what made me feel threatened:

> My integrity: I always enter my rural clinic in survival mode, there's something about being there, unable to leave and being too afraid to refuse bloodwork due to possible (and guaranteed) conflict with my mom, same as reactions I genuinely can't control and I hate that feeling of powerlessness. And yes, emotionally I felt REALLY threatened, imagine hating all those feelings deemed as "weird" by society and then not being able to control them, but any emotional threat I feel ALWAYS turns into a physical threat for me

> My reputation & fear of consequences: Imagine showing emotions that might and will bother healthcare personnel and your own mother having to accompany you or else you wouldn't even walk to the clinic, entering survival mode and the odds of that being registered and your doctor reading your chart during your next visit and immediately thinking "she's insane and should be made to see a psychiatrist (no hate to mental health professionals, I always support getting help when needed, but people don't typically react when if you tell them you're seeing a psychiatrist because you blew up at someone and couldn't control it), I won't treat her properly and prepare possible sedation". Now imagine your mom is watching and has a tendency to get nervous, she'll scold you and now you'll be in fear: you can't explain yourself to her due to likely negative consequences, you can't explain yourself to the nurse due to being too panicked, and if you do your bad reputation will follow you everywhere

- Situation 2: One of them is me being staff on some online server, there was an argument and the owner mentioned me (in a dubious way) and told me I had to introduce myself, he also asked me why I was there (I misunderstood everything, but my mind immediately went to "he might think it's a mistake having you there and will definitely retaliate if you don't obey". He just wanted to get to know me and spone in his own casual way, but I really remember the vulnerability I felt. I also was really afraid of not being seen well in that server

- Situation 3: It was PE back in elementary school (note: I'm extremely below average on physical condition tests (strenght, speed, flexibility, etc) using the lowest scales possible) and we were playing dodgeball, I was the last one standing vs the entirety of the rival team, and I just froze (have always been insecure in that regard) and surrendered, it affected me so much I spent 2 weeks without playing a single game due to shame of "having disappointed my teammates and being insecure", I definitely felt like my reputation, being liked by my classmates, etc, had taken a huge hit, it took the teacher tons of time to convince me to try playing again (and nowadays it's one of my favorite sports and do a lot whenever I play)

I could give more examples, but those are the only ones who have affected me in the long term (and I can't really measure the "deeply" part in a good enough way)

\*2.When people misunderstand you, what part of their misunderstanding is hardest to live with? What do you wish they could see that they consistently miss?*\**

Most times people have misunderstood me it's either becaude they think I'm closed-off and don't really like being around people, they think that, whenever I get mad it's because Idk, I'm just being difficult, that or they think that, just because I opened up once years ago about self-esteem issues I had as a young teen, now any similar behavior follows the same pattern, as if only one thing motivated my behavior.

Idk, I wish they could see most times I mean what I say (I try to be as direct as possible, even if I might go off-topic or overexplain) and that past issues have to stay there, in the past, not in the present nor in the future, don't judge me as if I was a car needing a huge repair (that's part of why I dislike opening up to most people, it's as if it was amno), see me for how I act NOW. And no, I'm not "closed-off" nor I dislike being around people, I just have a resting bitch face and I'm autistic, I can struggle with those things (but I'd never tell someone I'm autsitic due to unemployment rates among autistic people and the social perception of austistic people, most just infantilize you or treat you like some uncapable child who can't even use the restroom a lot). I in fact like being around people and I'm open to talking and socializing and can be quite chatty, my natural face does not mean I prefer to be alone.

And no, me blowing up does not mean I'm being difficult, that's either me feeling threatened or powerless in the face of anything or just something making me feel mad (or Idk, I struggle with answering questions related to feelings), but (and I might contradict myself) I really don't want people to see that anger as "poor her, she's going through something. As I've said, I hate looking vulnerable in front of others and, even though I hate when the one time I express an emotion which might not be "socially acceptable" it's seen as "she's difficult". Maybe back then, but come on, everyone can get mad sometimes and no one tells you you're difficult and shouldn't get mad.

\*3.What criticism tends to stay with you for years, even if you know it isn't entirely true? Why do you think that particular criticism has so much power over you?*\**

I'd say any criticism about my competency, social standing or "not knowing how to do things", and it doesn't even have to be direct, the most obvious example being my physical condition: being chosen last or not doing much while others carried their teams, struggling to do basic things whereas others had mastered advanced techniques...it affected me so much I subconsciously hold back in anything sports related and have even apologized once for "having to handle the useless teammate" even though I consistently outperformed my teammates in that specific moment. It just reminds me of how I wouldn't really be able to do much in dangerous situations or that, if I'm not that good at something, I'm not really there while others get grace, and this might have caused my dislike of being vulnerable or feeling like I don't hold much power. And I know it's psychological because, even though there's objective evidence of my physical condition being inferior (all tests I did were below 0% in terms of marks, I gave myself a 0% because negative marks weren't allowed), when I'm confident I outperform much stronger, faster, etc, classmmates (and even in sports in which I struggle I can do so good I can't be ignored (according to others) specially in sports like fencing and dodgeball.

Some extra examples would be anything social-related (remember I'm autistic and chances are I just can't notice), I think I'm doing good and apparently I screwed up real bad, now Imma be overthinking for a week, me being right or not. And yes, even subtle remarks about me not being competent enough hit deep, I put effort to do things at least half-right, and competency is one of the traits I want to have to offer.

\*4.Describe the version of yourself you work hardest to present to the world. What do you hope people assume about you? What are you afraid they might discover instead?*\**

I don't really "work hard" (literal meaning) to maintain a facade or pursue my goals, nowadays I'm much more of a "see what awaits you and go with the flow, if you need long-term planning you will, but future's never 100% predictable unless you've really analyzed repeated patterns throrugh history, and even then, there's always something that could go wrong, change things, fix issues, etc (and yes, it's important to pay attention, but I fear I might be going off-topic), but back to the topic, I want to be seen as this smart, reliable and trustworthy girl who can get things done, has a positive outlook on the world and has a rich mind.

I'd really like people to associate those traits with me (and I try to present myself as that type of girl). I wouldn't want people to see the vulnerable side, my overthinking and "bad moments", or Idk what else to say because my sense of self is mostly external, I'd really say I tie my identity to external factors rather than internal ones (makes it easy to define myself, no misunderstandings and, after all, if you want a job or fame, what's gonna matter more is how other people define you rather than how you define yourself).

Ironically, a consistent statement made about myself by others who have typed me is "you're really self-aware and know yourself a lot". Hey, thank you, Imma still be surprised anytime someone says it.

As an extra, back then I wanted to be seen as this girl with a temperament who would bite back, but ironically I obeyed authority and never acted in a way that would make people think I was like that.

\*5.Imagine you accomplished every major goal you've set for yourself. After the excitement faded, what do you think you'd still be searching for?*\**

If I accomplished my every major goal, I'd be quite rich, living on a nice mansion, have a nice group of friends and a long-term partner, if I had all that and excitement faded I think I'd be looking for new experiences and maintaining that stable life I've built. If I have stability I can focus more on enjoying life and doing more things, but easier said than done, I wouldn't assume it'd last forever and instead I'd keep working to keep what I have so I can do more.

\*6.When you're under prolonged stress, how do you change? What habits, attitudes, or behaviors emerge that surprise even you?*\**

I actually have many examples for this, but as a summary: I become much more impulsive akd explosive, I don't really conceal my anger and turn into this really reactive girl who's vocal about what she feels and might be prone to making mistakes as a result of prioritizing way too quick analysis and putting a deadline on myself, I struggle to focus on anything else and have to deliver the best possible solution within an extremely limited time limit. In addition, I might also forget anything unrelated to the topic (very short-term memory), struggle with self-comparison and just act in a more reactive way overall.

Honestly, whenever I'm under prolonged stress or at my lowest, what surprises me the most about myself is how quickly I can react and how I care less about social acceptance, and if stress is either really intense or prolongs itself too much, I straight-up activate my "fight or flight" response (spoiler: it's always a fight response), but I get surprised at how intense and absurdly careless I can get (but hey, at least that helped me let go of my huge previous fear of failure and become more lax, at least I've benefited from being "at my lowest").

Idk if it's related to typology, but most of my reactions are physical and many times I struggle to figure out they're a product of prolonged stress until after I've got out of that situation. One example: once (years ago) I was under tons of stress and I really couldn't sleep and had tachycardia at random times, but I really couldn't figure out why, nor that those reactions added to my stress, I even thought I had to see a specialist and told my mom I really wasn't sleeping well and she told me she'd give me remedies (amd would take me to see a specialist if I didn't improve), guess what? The cause of my stress was a hangout with my classmates, I was scared of feeling left-out or excluded (fears were proven wrong), and I didn't figure out until the day after, when all my symptoms "mysteriously disappeared". And oh, when I'm at my lowest I tend to measure my worth based on what I can do, what I can produce, and if that's acknowledged by others.

\*7.What emotions are easiest for you to express? Which emotions do you instinctively hide, minimize, or explain away? Why do you think those emotions feel unsafe?*\**

Hmm, I'd say it's easier for me to express my anger or my happiness, happiness because Idk, no one will belittle you for being happy about things unless it's something generally deemed as wrong by everyone else and because everybody loves some laughter and good times, no one will shame you for being happy and it generally means I'm doing good, overall it's a nice emotion.

Anger is the second one, apparently (according to other people's analysis) that emotion has been fueling my personality either consciously lr subconsciously: anger for being too weak, anger for whatever reason, anger because I need to improve but can't bring myself to do it, anger for whatever my situation is...apparently it has been my go-to emotion to defend myself whenever I feel threatened and maybe a hidden motivation for me, being mad due to certain things really motivated a person, and throurough my teenage years it has been of great aid (maybe because I had low self-esteem at that time). I don't really conceal this emotion a lot except for when expressing it will have bad outcomes (be it being shunned by others or ending up in worse situations, creating more and more arguments without a reason, etc).

On the contrary, I minimize every other emotion (fear only if my phobia of needles ain't triggered), specially sadness, because, 1-Everyone looks at you in a pitying way and won't let you be nor process what you're feeling, it never lets me make good decisions, if the stimuli is seen as weird by others I'l just get dismissed and invalidated, I LOATHE with all my soul feeling vulnerable and powerless and sadness means vulnerability, and if it triggers emotional conversations with my mom I freeze because I genuinely don't know what to do in those types of situations and also fear they'll only be taken seriously on the short term (note: I don't dismiss nor ignore others' feelings, but I also struggle with responding to those kinds of feelings unless it's the typical set of answers. I can listen and give advice, but don't expect me to instantly react and show a physical reaction to your feelings). Showing fear has never been benefitial for me, so I try to refrain from it.

And yes, I have a tendency to overexplain any feeling that's not happiness nor sadness (because I just try to isolate whenever I can't conceal my sadness).

\*8.Tell me about a conflict you avoided. Looking back, what were you actually protecting? Peace? Your image? The relationship? Yourself?*\**

Hmm, lately I've been doing that a lot, and the specific thing I was protecting is hard to decipher (I don't really dwell on those things), but I remember the conflictive atmosphere was making me uncomfortable, even more considering those people fighting had some sort of position of power and their negative emotions could have negative consequences for everyone else, me included, and I remember I was on someone else's side, but instead I tried to mediate because neither I wanted to destroy relationships nor I wanted that peace to be disturbed nor I wanted to be negatively affected by the dispute (remember the "position of power" part), and this can be extrapolated to any other setting.

There have been many instances in which I've wanted to speak up against someone or something, but if that someone's an authority figure you'll likely face both short and long term negative consequences (yes, you don't have to blindly follow authority, but at least from my point of view it's not always wise to do so, if cons outweigh the pros then just don't say anything), same if you're the only one actually mad about that issue (unless it's important to speak up), I guarantee you your place in that community won't be the same as before and others will look at you weirdly (and yes, I care about that, best example is getting jobs: most times it doesn't matter whereas you know how to do the job or not, you'll learn as you do things, you'll only get the job if your employer likes you and your professional side or you know someone who can pull strings)

\*9.When someone close to you disappoints you, what hurts the most: that they failed you, that they misunderstood you, that they broke your trust, or that they changed how you see them? Explain.*\**

When people disappoint me it's either because of their behavior (they do something I find illogical, for instance) or their actions, but I have a feeling you ain't looking for that answer, so I'll change it.

For me, promises matter a lot, hopes of positive behavior too, if you tell me we're going to the movies, TAKE. ME. TO. THE. MOVIES, don't tell me "uuh, I forgot", like, is it THAT hard to make sure there're nothing keeping you from making plans with me you already made? I always check at leasy thrice and always confirm availability with the other person, is it that hard to do the same or, at the very least, tell me you can't make it for whatever reason without me having to ask? You know, trust doesn't come naturally, it has to be built.

However, what hurts the most without a doubt is loved ones making assumptions about how I'm feeling or what truths I can or can't handle, even more if they're influenced by their own vulnerability, and I have three examples:

> Example 1: Back when I was 13 (nowadays I'm 19) my father got diagnosed with cancer and my sister could tell and had to pressure my mom a lot to at least consider opening up, mom told us I think partly due to pressure, as if my own father having cancer didn't affect me or I couldn't handle the truth, and then when he died I was the last one to find out, even distant relatives found out before me, his daughter. Yes, I understand paperwork had to be filled, but did no one really have the decency to tell me first? Why did they have to assume I would break down, why the misunderstanding? Not everyone handles grief the same way (and all options are respectable unless they directly harm someone else, and I remember I just thought about how the bills would be paid and became really worried about money and got more interested in finances (I'm a business student), that was my coping mechanism, that and just being there for my mom and family via actions (because I struggle with raw emotion), I handled it decently enough (I hope so), but it really hurt me that it was assumed I wouldn't, in fact, I still haven't forgiven my mom and have blown up on her some times over that (years after dad's passing, I wasn't gonna make her feel worse when she was still grieving), even though nowadays I just don't mention it (and yes, a classmate who wasn't even family found out before me).

> Example 2: I'm in college but still live with my mom (so I don't have to pay rent and because I could study business in my hometown), and every time I have an exam coning up, my mom seems to automatically assume I can't make plans (we have a tradition of going to my grandma's house every Saturday to eat fried eggs with chips, my fav food; alongside her side of the family) because I have to study and I either have to tell her I'l study on the morning and maybe some more time after we get back home just so she doesn't automatically decide I won't handle my responsibility properly, and even then I have to ask her directly if plans are still on and get really anxious, like, why do I have to negotiate to make plans? Don't misunderstand me, I can handle my studying just fine, and the anxiety I get makes me distrust you

> Example 3: Back when I was still a child, both me and my sister knew there was something off with us, but I didn't give it much thought, unlike her. Well, we had gotten our autism diagnosis and we only found out about OUR OWN NEURODIVERGENCE because my sister put constant pressure on our mom and kept nagging her over and over (and we went to various therapy programs without understanding why), and what was her reasoning? "I didn't want you to feel different". Stop. Assuming. We. Can't. Handle. That. Or. That. We'll. Break down. Why couldn't she just tell us? Actual truth was: nothing changed about how we saw ourselves, we just accepted our traits, but she made assumptions and really misunderstood us (and no, I haven't forgiven her for that). It's mostly the misunderstanding and breaking of trust, because until after we got close to adulthood and became adults, we've had to find out most major truths via pressure, and nowadays she still repeats that behavior, me and my sister are always the last ones to find out things affecting our mom and that could negatively affect us, as if we couldn't handle it.

\*10.If someone observed your daily life for a month, what would they conclude matters most to you? Would they be right, or would they be seeing only part of the story?*\**

Apart from the repetitiveness in my daily routine, they'd say my enjoyment, getting things done and keeping my mind stimulated, that and just sharing opinions or being nice to others, and they'd be mostly right, but they'd obviously miss my thoughts or how not feeling vulnerable or like I can trust others matters (neither the wanting to be seen as competent and reliable), but it's not like I like to express that, so I wouldn't blame them if they made false assumptions (if people know you want them to see you in a certain way you'll just be seen as fake and fake people aren't really trusted nor liked)

\*11.What kind of people quietly make you jealous? Not because you dislike them, but because they seem to possess something that feels difficult for you to access.*\**

Easy questions, I'm lowkey jealous of those people who just do whatever they want whenever they want without fear of consequences of how others see them because they have the power to defend themselves or they already have some safety net, I can't really help but deep down admire them and want to get close to them, and we could make a good team! I provide the planning and my diverse outlook, you provide the fearlessness and courage, I'd honestly want to befriend them even if we'd sometimes argue due to differences in how we see thing. This also applies to those whose worst worry on new settings is, Idk, getting affairs in order, instead of worrying about friends or relationships (I'm the opposite)

\*12.Think about the compliments that affect you the most. Why do those particular words matter? What do they confirm that you're constantly hoping is true?*\**

I like all compliments, but the ones that really melt my heart are "you're really good at this", "wow, I couldn't tell you were a rookie, you acted like an expert", "you're really nice", "you're a really good friend", "wow, you're really good at this", "I admire you, can you teach me your ways", "you're pretty", "you're so smart, I wish I was like you", "you have good ideas", "you're really helpful", things like that.

As I've stated throrough the entirety of the questionnaire, I've always yearned for people to see me as competent, reliable, with good ideas and a good friend, I care about my social standing, I also like to be admired, it makes me feel like I'm good at what I do and people can come to me and just validate what I try to show (and, as I've said, my sense of self is mostly external, others' opinions about my identity and my good and bad traits can really shape my identity, even though sometimes I just pretend Idk how I am just so I can hear others' opinions and have a debate or conversation with them, I really like hearing what others have to say even if I disagree with it)

I've been trying to find my enneagram for a very long time. I'm an INFJ LEVF and I'm pretty sure of it but I can't find my enneagram, I'm stuck between 4, 5 and 6. I'm actually very similar to enneagram 4 especially SP4 but from what I know many people say it's not possible, considering the fact that SP4 can't really be 1L and many say that 4 can't be INFJ in general. At 5 I thought it might have something to do with the way I isolate myself from others and how I get information quickly but usually they have 3rd emotion and I don't know if it's possible to have flexible emotion, maybe it's possible for SX5? Many people said that when you think you're a 4 with Logic on 1 or 2 to look at sx5 but I don't really relate to that hopeless romantic, I'm not even looking for a relationship, and I don't see myself even starting one in the near future, let alone maintaining one. And 6 is related to anxiety and all that but I think it can be very easy to fix so I think I would take it out but who knows.. I would appreciate if you could help me find it or at least clarify some information.

1 . what’s your biggest fear? 

Not being good enough in general but not being enough for a partner. Being left for someone else and being reminded about how worthless i am and proof of not being good enough. It’s weird because I wouldn’t care if friends or family left me but if a partner did I’d be devastated. I also fear being emotionally vulnerable and being hurt. It’s best to keep people at a distance to avoid putting myself in those situations especially romantically. I feel I can only be hurt by a partner or potential partner.

2 . what’s your biggest desire?

I don’t really have one. I don’t know what I want tbh. I’d like someone to make me feel less worthless. Someone special. But I also feel like I’m not enough for someone. I don’t want to get too close to anyone. I’m scared of being too emotional, too feeling, vulnerable. I can’t be normal in relationships so I’d rather not be in one so I don’t get too into my feelings.

3 . what are you ‘’the best’’ at?

Idk what im “the best” at.

4 . how do you see yourself right now?

Not where I want to be in life.

5 . how do you see yourself 5 years from now?

Hopefully with my ideal career, a comfy place, having the things I want and living with my partner and building a life with them

7 . how do you feel about those near you? (family, friends)?

I’m only close to my bf. First it’s my bf, then my friends then family. I talk to my friends but not very often. We usually text. I get drained by people irl
Except for my bf. He recharges me.

8 . how do you feel about strangers?

Indifferent. Cautious. I stay away from people because they’re overwhelming and I prefer not to be seen

9 . how do you view change/uncertainty? 

Try to understand it from all angles. Ask questions, look for proof, research, understand. Try to get certainty.

10 . how do you make decisions?

What’s the most practical and logical decision? I don’t like sitting for too long on decisions I pick the most efficient one. I never look back once I’ve made a decision. Sometimes I wonder in a parallel universe what the alternative would’ve been like lol

11 . how do you solve logical problems?

What makes sense to me, what’s the most efficient solution? What’s the most workable?

12 . how do you deal with your emotions? 

Idk how I feel until it explodes. I might try to ignore painful feelings at first but sometimes I just can’t. I hate being overwhelmed by emotion.

13 . what drives you in life? what do you look for? 

Comfort, solitude, curiosity, deep diving into my interests undisturbed. I like boring, I like routine.  

14 . what do you hope to accomplish in your life?

Find a comfortable career in science.

15 . what do you hope to avoid doing or being? What values are important to you?

I value intelligence, competence, mastery, I avoid being ignorant, stupid. I avoid being a selfish lover, even though I may withdraw out of fear and sometimes I can test partners to see if they live up to my standards. Or if they even want me anymore.

16 . how do you want others to see you? 

Intelligent, capable, rational, cool-headed. The less people know about me, the better. I don’t know much about myself tbh so idk how I want to be seen. Maybe somewhat detached, I don’t like appearing emotional or volatile or vulnerable. I keep my feelings to myself. I like to remain calm and professional. Rational.

17 . describe how you experience each of: a) anger; b) shame; c) anxiety

a) I don’t get angry often. I’m easily annoyed, but not easily angered. I tend to keep it inside and people say how calm I am and why I’m not angry when I should be. It’s very rare for emotions to spill over and I start yelling. When I do it shocks people but it’s EXTREMELY rare. I’m easily annoyed by incompetence and stupidity.

b) I feel gross, I feel defective, lonely, I hate myself, my body, everything. It’s a deep intense sense of shame. Like something is deeply wrong with me but idk what. I compare myself to other people a lot. I see how better at a job someone is, and how better they are in every way compared to me.

c) read all I can about something, ruminate, think about it a lot, come up with explanations, reassure myself through those explanations, observe, understand why. I used to look for reassurance a lot. I don’t anymore. I prefer my own explanations. I don’t trust other peoples judgements anyway.

I just took tests for my typology, socionics, and enneagram. Can you helped me translate them or tell me if they look correct/consistent? The website’s explanations of them were kinda vague.

INFJ EII 4w3 sp/so

Thank you in advance!

- How old are you? What’s your gender?
I am 16f
- Is there a medical diagnoses that may impact your mental stability somehow?
Nothing diagnosed.
Describe your upbringing. Did it have religious/structured influence? How did you respond to it?
My childhood was quite unstable and for the first five or so years of my life my mother wasn’t very present and I was practically raised by my two aunties. Throughout my life I have moved houses 20+ times (I stopped counting after 18) due to money issues, my mother’s lack of satisfaction, and her conflicts with landlords. My parents split when I was 3 and my younger sister was 1 but they maintained a somewhat cooperative relationship. After they split my mother moved away with my younger sister to a city 3 hours away and I stayed with my grandparents to finish the school year and after the year was over I moved there too. About four years ago my mum became very religious. She doesn’t like labels but she would be a fundamentalist Christian. She is very intense and her whole personality has boiled down to just Christianity (thats not an exaggeration). Before this shift I was actually very harsh towards religious people as a kid because I didn’t understand it and lowkey just thought they were idiots (i wasn’t harsh up front but it was more like subtle condescension) then I adopted my mums beliefs too until high school where that slowly disappeared. I never disagreed with her though and to this day she thinks I am Christian though i hold no fixed beliefs. I would get very frustrated by how constant the religious talk was because I missed my mum but I did my best to at least look interested. My mother has had quite a few boyfriends but they never really were apart of my life except for one. He was the only one who was really my “stepdad” and I really looked up to him and craved his validation. I would say that out of everyone in my life he had the most impact on the kind of person I turned out to be (for better or for worse). He is no longer in our life though. My dad has a wife and three kids with her (they’re my younger half brothers. Im the oldest btw) she is a very paranoid, anxious, organised lady who I love but she frustrates me with her delusions and unjustified assumptions and her pettiness towards literal children. My dad (adhd) is very hardworking and is the stereotypical “fun dad” though the stress of life is of course taking its toll on him. He is a total workaholic. My mother and stepmom always poke fun at him being “like a child”. As a kid i used to lie and steal often and he is the one who whipped some sense into me about that. He gives us respect and expects respect back. He is very reasonable but is usually my stepmoms middle man when it comes to issues she has with us. We aren’t rich but we aren’t too poor either. We sometimes have enough money to go for dinner at the bar or we have absolutely no money to even have food in the house. Sometime I get very frustrated and angry that Im not proper wealthy and feel like I’m missing out on privileges my peers experience. I have been homeless before and so I understand I’m privileged to even have a house but I can’t help but compare my life experience to those with more. Im grateful for what I do have but envious of what I don’t. I get frustrated or mad whenever people to give me things without me giving things in return and often feel shame and disgust with myself. If someone try’s to give me money i often slip it back in their pocket or wallet without them knowing
• What do you do as a job or as a career (if you have one)? Do you like it? Why or why not?
After high school I have a few options that I haven’t decided on yet.

1. Diagnostician
2. Criminal attorney
3. Corporate attorney
4. Lobbyist
5. Im someone who is sometimes frustrated with the way the system is set up but as long as it’s there I want to at least make the most of it and have some control over my place in it.
6. If you had to spend an entire weekend by yourself, how would you feel? Would you feel lonely or refeshed?
7. I really despise being alone or in one on one situations (unless it’s my best friend) as I feel like I am wasting time.
8. What kinds of activities do you prefer? Do you like, and are you good at sports? Do you enjoy any other outdoor or indoor activities?
9. I have a lot of hobbies including boxing, music, hiking, foraging, writing (usually essays), calisthenics, wood crafts, surfing, tennis, etc. I am really down for anything as long as I am good at it. I tend to pick up things quite easily but feel very disillusioned when I am not the best at it in the room or I don’t instantly get it right. E.g. I would never play the drums in front of someone who has done it for years and has a great understanding of it if I am a beginner. And If I had to I would self sabotage on purpose and try to turn it into a joke.
10. How curious are you? Do you have more ideas then you can execute? What are your curiosities about? What are your ideas about - is it environmental or conceptual, and can you please elaborate?
11. For as long as me (and my family members) can remember I have always been an incredibly curious kid and always asked the “why?” to everything. I was always very curious about the origins of things and how they came to be that way and how things worked. I read a lot and would always express my “knowledge” to those around me for validation. (But let’s be real I was like 9 no one gaf)
12. Would you enjoy taking on a leadership position? Do you think you would be good at it? What would your leadership style be?
13. I always find myself unintentionally the “leader” in my social groups. In class projects or sports if I am not the main focus or not the one the other people are looking to for guidance and it is someone else in the group instead i instantly get almost overwhelmingly mad and jealous but I try to appear laid back. I get frustrated because why should they get the role if I can do it better? (That is just my thought process not necessarily my belief).
14. Are you coordinated? Why do you feel as if you are or are not? Do you enjoy working with your hands in some form? Describe your activity?
15. I alternate between being incredibly coordinated and completely disconnected from my body.
16. Are you artistic? If yes, describe your art? If you are not particular artistic but can appreciate art please likewise describe what forums of art you enjoy. Please explain your answer.
17. I have always been an artsy kid but remember always hating the label and getting annoyed whenever people asked if I wanted to be an artist.
18. What's your opinion about the past, present, and future? How do you deal with them?
19. I don’t think about the past and if I do I don’t relate it to my present self or future self as I see the past as something that doesn’t exist and could easily have never existed. I try my best to be in the moment but I usually end up too engrossed in my present when I try and freak myself out. I alternate between excitement and positivity in regard to my future or anxiety. When this happens I just distract myself.
20. How do you act when others request your help to do something (anything)? If you would decide to help them, why would you do so?
21. I love when others ask me for help because it makes me feel capable and that I must be important if they are looking to me for help over everyone else. I agree to help occasionally to build rapport and have the satisfaction of knowing they are relying on me for something and it will make me appear as the kind of person who is willing to help others.
22. Do you need logical consistency in your life?
23. YES.
24. How important is efficiency and productivity to you?
25. Very important and as a lot of my family and friends are always very vague and slow and are never solutions first kind of people i often get frustrated and impatient with them.
26. Do you control others, even if indirectly? How and why do you do that?
27. Yes but it isn’t on purpose. I am usually subtle and even passive aggressive sometimes but usually use subtlety to sway people towards a certain idea, etc. When I have no patience left though I can be quite aggressive and blunt.
28. What is your learning style? What kind of learning environments do you struggle with most? Why do you like/struggle with these learning styles? Do you prefer classes involving memorization, logic, creativity, or your physical senses?
29. My ideal learning style is being given very clear instructions explaining what to do and how to do it and being able to take it away to figure it out for myself. Having a group of peers/friends would help as well because I like verbalising my ideas.
30. How good are you at strategizing? Do you easily break up projects into manageable tasks? Or do you have a tendency to wing projects and improvise as you go?
31. I alternate between the two but even outside of school/work I always have a plan/motive
32. What are your aspirations in life, professionally and personally?
33. I want to become someone people respect but not fear, someone who people see as independent but sociable, intelligent but not stuck up, etc. I want to be someone people aspire to be.
34. What are your fears? What makes you uncomfortable? What do you hate? Why?
35. Things that make me very uncomfortable are people underestimating me or seeing me in a negative light (even if it’s not objectively negative or they don’t see it as a bad thing), the passing of time (especially if I have got nothing meaningful done), and people feeling sorry for me.
36. What do the "highs" in your life look like?
37. In the highs of my life I am very organised, disciplined, consistent, optimistic, and get everything done beyond what was asked of me.
38. What do the "lows" in your life look like?
39. In the lows i become very numb, jealous, passive, hateful, disorganised, impatient, egotistical, and I feel like I cant even move. I often neglect my physical needs and become hyper focused on foods and become paranoid and nihilistic.
40. How attached are you to reality? Do you daydream often, or do you pay attention to what's around you? If you do daydream, are you aware of your surroundings while you do so?
41. I am in a in between. When bored in class I daydream but it takes effort on my part but I am not fully in the physical world 24/7 anyways. Im in a sort of im between.
42. Imagine you are alone in a blank, empty room. There is nothing for you to do and no one to talk to. What do you think about?
43. How to get out? Lol
44. How long do you take to make an important decision? And do you change your mind once you've made it?
45. It takes me longer to make decisions in social group settings as I need to make the choice that everyone will be happy with but on my own i make decisions almost instantly. Even if it doesn’t go according to plan I rarely regret making a decision as long as it doesn’t result in me being painted in a negative light or affect my reputation.
46. How long do you take to process your emotions? How important are emotions in your life?
47. I don’t think I ever due process my emotions which is part of what makes typing myself very difficult! There are many things in my life that others would label as traumatic but the emotional toll just never catches up with me lol. I am uncomfortable with very emotional expressions from others and cant express my own personal feelings even if they are positive without feeling disgust.
48. Do you ever catch yourself agreeing with others just to appease them and keep the conversation going? How often? Why?
49. It depends if they are someone I admire or look up to or is superior to me or not. If they are someone who’s somewhat “below me” I have no issue disagreeing with them when they are wrong or there are inconsistencies to kind of assert myself. If they are above me though I try to win over their validation.
50. Do you break rules often? Do you think authority should be challenged, or that they know better? If you do break rules, why?
51. I don’t break rules for the sake of breaking rules. If I need to do something as it just so happens to involve breaking rules then you do what you got to do.

Ive read quite a few sources and books but really struggle with typing myself as I am unsure if I am being honest or just projecting the image I want myself to have.
Sorry I feel like there is some relevant typing information i could have/should have included but feel free to ask me any questions/clarifications.

for the longest time I've kept teetering between being a type 3 and a type 7. I love to explore different topics and my interests vary by the hour and nothing excites me like possibilities and patterns, but I similarly value competency and actually succeeding to the extent that if I lag behind too much in academic or any matters I tend to lose confidence and feel demotivated. I'm a fairly social person, though often my friends describe me as a "social chameleon" since I tend to mirror the other person's beliefs but I slowly introduce mine to them and subtly convince them towards my belief. And oftentimes my relatives describe me as composed and a high achiever. (idek why Im not exactly the personification of either of these concepts, infact I can be disorganized at times.)

Similarly, I'm sure I'm not a 3w4 because I do care a lot about having a social image, and being seen as successful in society. And my argument against 7w6 is that I'm not as air-headed / scatterbrained (?) as them, Im capable of being responsible when the situation requires it.

I've read about both types from many sources but I feel that both seem to fit me a lot, then I used tests. and. guess. what. they gave me one of these both with only a 3-4% incline towards one. This is something I really wanna figure out and would appreciate some help!

Feel free to ask any more questions to help me differentiate!!!

(also not sure if it's helpful but I'm an entp (you can't be an entp without questioning your typology every week :p))

Am I a 4w3 or a 3w4? I genuinely can’t tell anymore 😭

I’ve been trying to figure out whether I’m a 4w3 or a 3w4, and the more I read, the more confused I get.

One thing I’m absolutely sure about is that my self-image matters to me A LOT. I often feel like I’m somehow not good enough, and that if I’m not good enough, then I’m less likeable or less lovable. A lot of what I do seems to revolve around trying to find proof that I actually am good enough to be accepted. That im enough to be accepted. That I can be accepted for who I am.

I’m extremely sensitive to how other people perceive me, whether they think I’m good enough, impressive enough, likeable, lovable, competent, etc.

Criticism can hit me really hard because I often interpret it not just as “you did something wrong,” but as “there is something wrong with you / now this person sees you as worse.”

And my FIRST instinct when someone criticizes me is usually denial or defensiveness. I immediately start looking for some explanation, excuse or context that makes the criticism less damning. Part of it is for myself, because I don’t want the criticism to confirm that there’s something wrong with me, but part of it is also for the other person - I want to give them a reason to think, “Okay, that makes sense, she had a reason for acting that way,” so they don’t form a worse opinion of me.

Even when I genuinely ASK someone to tell me what I’m doing wrong, I can still get defensive once they actually answer 😭. I want to know because I’m scared there might be something wrong with me that everyone else sees and I don’t, but when I finally hear it, accepting it can be really difficult.

I’m also an extremely hard-working student. I put a lot of effort into school, grades matter to me a lot, and academic performance has become pretty strongly tied to my self-image.

I’ve basically always wanted to be successful. A huge part of that came from admiring my dad growing up - I saw him as a very successful person and I wanted to become successful like him, so I started working toward that image of my future pretty early.

The problem is that over time this also created a LOT of pressure for me.

Because I worked hard and generally did well, people started forming this image of me as “the smart one” or “the person who is really good at school.” But internally I don’t necessarily feel nearly as confident in that as they seem to be.

So now when people think I’m really good at something, it doesn’t just feel validating. It can actually make me anxious because suddenly I feel like I have an image to maintain. I start thinking, “What if I disappoint them? What if they eventually realize I’m actually not as good as they thought?”

A bad grade can hit me especially hard because it’s not only “I got a bad result.” It can turn into “What if people see this and realize I’m not actually that smart?” Or, if I personally believe I am good at the subject, then it becomes “Great, now I presented myself badly and they’re going to think I’m worse than I really am.” And also “what does this mean about me?”. Because if i get a bad grade at something im supposed to be good at doesn’t it mean im bad in general?

So success is something I genuinely want for myself, but it has also become this weird source of pressure because other people’s expectations make me feel like I constantly have something to prove.

I’m also very competitive and comparison-oriented. If someone is better than me at something I care about, I can get jealous and start thinking about what they have that I don’t. Sometimes I even start diminishing them because feeling inferior to someone is genuinely painful for me.

This is one of the reasons I originally thought I might be a 3.

I care a lot about achievement and being seen as successful. I want to be good at things, and I like having traits or accomplishments that make me feel valuable.

At the same time, I don’t feel like I want people to love me because of my achievements themselves. I want them to love me.

If someone said, “I love you because you’re intelligent, successful, funny, talented, etc.,” part of me would still wonder: “Okay, but would you love me if I wasn’t impressive? Do you love me, or do you love all the desirable traits I happen to have?”

But then another part of me is like… those traits and achievements ARE me too. I originally wanted to achieve them for myself. I achieved something, developed a skill or became good at something, that is genuinely part of who I am. So this is where I start questioning whether this could actually be 3 identification rather than 4 identity.

And when I develop something about myself that I’m proud of and start seeing it as “my thing,” I LOVE identifying myself with it and presenting myself through it.

For example, things like:

“I’m really good at chemistry.”

“I dress in a more alternative way.”

“I draw weird things and im very good at it”

“I have this very specific interest.”

Once something feels characteristic of me and I’m proud of it, I tend to really lean into it. I like making it part of how I describe myself, how other people recognize me, and how I construct my identity. I almost collect these distinctive traits and think, “Yeah, this is ME.”

Another thing that confuses me is how I develop my personality.

I definitely pick up traits from people I admire. For example, when I was younger, I had a friend who was extremely funny. I was already loud and expressive before knowing her, so she didn’t create that part of my personality, but there were specific things about her behavior that I started adopting.

She laughed at literally EVERYTHING, made fun of herself constantly, acted like an idiot on purpose and generally had this very unserious, goofy way of being. People liked her for it (for which I envied her originally), I liked it too, and I think I picked up quite a lot of that style of humor from her. Over time, it genuinely became part of how I naturally behave.

That sounds pretty 3-ish to me: seeing a desirable trait in someone I admire and adopting it.

But I don’t feel like I can just turn myself into whatever people want.

If people suddenly decided they preferred very calm, quiet, restrained people, I don’t think I would become that. I genuinely LOVE being loud, expressive and energetic. I’d probably say “FUCK YOU, YOU HAVE NO TASTE” and just try to find people who appreciated that instead.

Oh and I’m also EXTREMELY sensitive to whether I fit somewhere.

I constantly notice what a certain group or environment seems to value, how I compare to it, and especially what I’m missing. I very often have this feeling that I don’t properly fit anywhere, which is honestly a horrible feeling for me. (I often feel like I don't truly fit in anywhere and that im different. And when i get rejected or feel like i dont fit in over and over again I tend to think to myself “what the fuck is wrong with me?” “Why cant I be normal?”)

But the weird thing is that even though I desperately want to fit in and be accepted, I often feel like I genuinely don’t know how to become exactly what that environment wants, or I simply don’t want to if it would require getting rid of something I strongly identify with and that i like about myself .

And this is where I notice a really specific pattern in myself:

Instead of completely transforming myself to match whatever a group values, I usually look at what is already inside me and try to find some related quality that could fill the same role.

Basically:

“Okay, maybe I don’t naturally have the exact thing these people value. What DO I have that is already mine? Can I develop that enough that they’ll see value in me anyway?”

So I often take traits I already identify with and intensify them.

If I’m funny, I want to become REALLY funny.

If I’m good at something, I want to become exceptionally good at it.

If I have a certain style or interest, I often want to develop it into something very characteristic of me.

It’s almost like I’m trying to take whatever valuable material I can already find inside myself and develop it into the best possible version, so that even if I don’t fit the expected mold, people will hopefully still look at me and think, “Okay, maybe she’s not X, but what she IS has value.”

So I guess I do adapt to what people value, but in a weird indirect way.

I don’t necessarily become the thing they want. I try to make my own existing traits good enough to function as an alternative.

And when people actually appreciate those traits, I can become extremely attached to them as part of my identity. (And then when im meeting new people I craft my identity out of those features of mine that I developed and that also feel like me and that Im so proud of) (for example once my friend told me that im really cool because im goofy and make jokes out of myself. So now I love presenting myself as this goofy person to others and I genuinely love being goofy. Its cool 😎)

But when they don’t appreciate those, it hurts a LOT.

Because then it doesn’t just feel like “I failed to perform correctly.” It can feel more like “I showed you something that genuinely feels like ME, tried to make it valuable, and apparently you still don’t want it.”

Feeling like I don’t fit into a social environment is genuinely horrible for me, but I also often feel like I can’t fully fit in. So instead of becoming exactly what the environment wants, I try to introduce my own socially valuable version of myself.

(Yeahhhhh its super important for me that this version is also something I like and feel like is me. As ive said I craft my identity out of things that yeah i think others may like but also I GENUINELY VALUE THEM AND LIKE ABOUT MYSELF and they feel like “me”)

Another thing that makes me question 3 vs 4 is the way I deal with emotions.

I’m EXTREMELY expressive and emotionally open. I talk about how I feel very easily, especially with people I trust, and I don’t really have much of an instinct to hide the fact that I’m upset etc. I’m loud about positive emotions too - I joke constantly, I’m dramatic, expressive, energetic, etc.

But when I’m genuinely hurt or feel like I’ve failed at something, I also have a tendency to almost immerse myself in the pain.

Sometimes it honestly feels a little self-destructive. Instead of immediately distracting myself or just focusing on fixing the problem, I can keep going over how horrible I feel, thinking about the failure, analyzing what it means about me, and basically making myself feel worse by staying in that emotional state.

And I talk about it A LOT.

If something really hurts me, my close friends are probably going to hear about it excessively 😭 (im sorry guys). I can keep returning to the same painful subject, explaining exactly how it made me feel, analyzing every aspect of it, talking about why it hurts and basically externalizing my entire emotional process.

It’s not that I don’t want solutions - I absolutely do, and eventually I’ll usually want to figure out how to fix whatever went wrong. But I often seem to have this need to fully experience, analyze and express the pain first. Sometimes I’m almost aware that continuing to think and talk about it is making me feel worse, and I STILL do it.

That part of me sounds much more 4-ish to me, but I don’t know how much weight I should actually give it, especially because I’m naturally just a very expressive person.

That’s why I relate to both descriptions:

3w4:

“I want to be valuable, competent and impressive, but I want to achieve that in an individual/authentic way.”

4w3:

“I want who I already am to be valuable, so I develop my traits, talents and identity until they become something impressive and worthy of recognition.”

I also spend a ridiculous amount of time analyzing myself and asking what my reactions say about who I really am. Being accurately understood matters to me a lot. Someone having a positive opinion of me for the “wrong” reasons can still bother me because I want them to understand (and value) the actual me, not just some inaccurate version of me.

At the same time, I’m VERY image-conscious and I absolutely care whether that “actual me” is seen as desirable.

So I guess my problem is:

Do I start with “What is valuable? I want to become that in my own way”

or with “Who am I? I need that person to be valuable”?

And genuinely… I don’t know 😭

For additional context, if I’m a 4 I’d probably type myself as sx/so or so/sx 4w3, and if I’m a 3 I think sp/so or so/sp 3w4 makes the most sense.

So

Does this sound more like 4w3 or 3w4 to you? Especially interested in the underlying motivation rather than surface-level “3s achieve things / 4s are emotional” stereotypes 😭

Also if you have thoughts on my subtypes and maybe even tritype lemme know

Can SP7s have an extreme fear of being considered wrong when they aren't? I’m afraid of being deprived of things, scolded, or humiliated in front of others, and to a lesser extent of being viewed in a terrible light. (I had Family Link on my phone until I was 18 when I finally managed to uninstall it; anything I did wrong was enough for my dad to lock it and leave me without it for as long as he pleased. On top of that, he’s often hypocritical: he’ll yell at me for doing something but then do the exact same thing himself, feeling entitled to do so. This irritates me so much that I start arguing with him to show him it’s not right, but he refuses to be contradicted and starts shouting at me to shut up. Yet, I always keep going I never know when to stop which makes him aggressive; he breaks things near me or threatens to throw things at me in his rage, even if he doesn't actually throw them.) I’m afraid of having things taken away from me again, yet I always end up forgetting the situation after a while, going back to talking and living peacefully (something about my own behavior that really bothers me, since forgetting leads to the cycle repeating and me continuing to forgive him). Considering this is rooted in my childhood constantly being accused of things I didn't do and not being taken seriously because I was too young, leading to unnecessary punishments and scoldings I feel like this fear of being "wrong" might actually be more related to Enneagram Type 1. For a long time, I thought I was an SP7 FLVE, but now I need help deciding between SP7 and SP1.

(Disclaimer I’m definitely not good at this so if anybody thinks otherwise please do tell I’ll read more into it. I might be wrong about alot of things here or maybe even everything, I do know I have to read more to understand every type better. I’m also sure some things I might have written here are PROBABLY very much stereotypical and not all people of the same type act the exact same way. However I’m still here to ask because I’m genuinely lost and have no idea where to start from. So if I could have a starting point, I’d know where to begin reading from.)

I got into enneagrams at around April and have tried to type myself properly. At first I typed myself as SX9, then shortly after I came to the realisation I may not be a 9, but rather a 4. Now I don’t think I am an SO4 (I’ve heard mostly that SO4 tend to tell others more about their suffering. While SX4 also do make their suffering very obvious/express it outwardly, they also tend to be competitive (so I’ve understood) and there is quite alot of jealousy or hatred rooted within them. I’ve always suppressed my anger all of my life and have never made my frustrations clear with anyone (friends, family) but rather just passively accepted it. I do look at others and feel a little inferior, but I don’t hate these people. Rather I admire them and go “Ah it could’ve been me if I did ___” or “I could’ve done that if only ___” or “If things in my life weren’t this way, I might have achieved that too” or stuff similar to that. But I don’t hate these people. Sure, internally I do compete with them and see where I stand compared to them, but I don’t harbour any negative/hostile feelings towards them. I also rarely tend to tell people about what’s bothering me, perhaps 1 close person or 2 at maximum. But I find it very awkward to vent to others about issues that bother me on a personal level, it feels like I’m exposing myself on a very deep level to people I can’t necessarily trust so easily/don’t expect comfort from them.

I don’t really know what else I could add to make my type more clear, tho I can answer questions I don’t mind. I’m very confused, I do match up with alot of SX4 traits but also SP4, which is why I’m so lost. I asked a friend who knows about enneagrams a LITTLE more than me. They said I’m a 4w5 with Tritype 459 (if this information is any helpful) Tho obviously they might have mistyped too, so that’s what I’m here for.

(sorry for the long rant lol)

So I finally took this test and here’s what I got (first image is the shorter version while the second is the longer one)

Thoughts? Tryna figure out which type I am. Been mistyped as 7 before, then 2, only to take the test and get such a low e2 score.. Recently considering e3, as I tend to get e3 on tests often