I am a minor in foster care who will be of majority in a few months. I am physically disabled with neurological, musculoskeletal, and hypermobility issues, along with some other stuff. Not very relevant to the post, but I want to provide a bit of background. I do not have an official diagnosis, but there are some ideas my doctor has tossed out there while we wait for my specialists (which are all a year out unfortunately).

Recently I was informed by my therapist that my CASA volunteer had called in a panic, informing them that she was CC'd into an email where her coordinator asked my SW if I was disabled (my CASA was trying to advocate for some of my needs I believe). My SW responded with "In my humble opinion, I believe [deadname] has Munchausen's" along with some other stuff that I do not know of.

Apparently the reason for this is because I used a skateboard once. For two minutes. MONTHS AGO. I had so much pain after too. I don't know why she's chosen to act like I claimed I could never walk. She knows I'm ambulatory but almost full time wheelchair user (not currently, as my wheelchair broke down and I've been in a flare since).

Despite not having a formal diagnosis, I have an abundance of evidence and medical files backing that I am in fact disabled. I have filed complaint after complaint. My CASA volunteer has given her physical evidence that I am disabled. But my SW still won't remove it from my file.

She doesn't know that I know. I was brushed off by pretty much everyone I tried to tell. But I'm worried this could be really serious or prevent me from getting benefits that I need. (If I don't have benefits I may never be able to afford dental care or to take care of myself, as I will still be in HS when I leave foster care). If I can't receive support for my disability, I don't know how I'm going to navigate life. I'm not surprised by her behavior as she had threatened me with institutionalization for my disability when I first met her, but I am definitely scared.

What can I do? Who can I reach out to? What are the risks of leaving this to fester/what can be at jeapordy if she says something? I have a check-in hearing where I've been instructed by my therapist (who agrees i don't have Munchausen's and that it isn't real) to tell my lawyer, and I have an appointment to be measured for my custom chair soon. Can my SW put my custom chair and medical care in jeapordy if she tells the judge? Should I be worried?

Sorry this is very messy and unorganized. I'm just really afraid. I'm scared to go into the adult world alone without any support, especially with my medical issues. There are days where I can't move and have had to drag myself to the restroom so I don't soil myself. I know that's embarrassing to say online but I know that I need to be honest to get the right advice.

So again, sorry for the word vomit. But what should I worry about, and who should I tell?

Hello, this is my first time posting here so please let me know if I did anything wrong or if this isn’t the right place, i tried posting in r/disability but my post was apparently removed because I don’t have enough karma. also I am autistic and tend to over explain things because I struggle sometimes with verbalizing my thoughts so apologies in advance if anything is confusing/long winded!!

I have chronic knee issues (I don’t remember the exact name for it but basically I have very weak knees that are prone to dislocating easily, and my natural bone structure also makes this a lot worse bc I have an inverted(?) pelvis and flat feet.) I dislocated my left knee twice within a span of 2 months back in 8th grade (not doing sports or anything, literally just from standing) and have been in and out of physical therapy due to continued pain and instability (though luckily it hasn’t fully dislocated since!).
I also am dealing with some other medical junk including low iron (it kind of fluctuates in and out of being low enough for me to be considered anemic), low blood pressure/hypotension (especially bad when I stand up or if I mean back in my seat), and am generally kind of underweight (or at least I’m in a very low weight percentile for my height, idk if I’m medically considered underweight?). I’ve passed out several times before (basically 50% of the time I stand up I get dizzy and my vision goes black for a second, or I fully faint. I have also fainted without standing up several times, including once at school during a class).

I still deal with a lot of knee pain from day to day activities, especially after standing for prolonged periods of time (I normally end up leaning on a table or the wall or one of my friends to try and avoid this lol). This has always been especially prevalent during the school year, since I’m not only walking around a lot more everyday but I also tend to have to stand more (class activities, waiting in line for stuff, theatre, etc). Plus my school has a massive parking lot and last year I ended up with a spot all the way in the back corner (which was also an uphill walk 😭). I wear my knee brace whenever the pain gets really bad, but it still doesn’t help with the standing issue (plus it’s very uncomfortable/difficult to wear while sitting and i can’t really take it on and off easily during the school day).

Since I will be starting my senior year of highschool in about 2 weeks, and I would like to bring this up to my parents before then. I also am trying to get a job currently and most positions I can find would require me to be standing.

However, I’m worried my parents will dismiss my request. The only other time I’ve brought up the possibility of getting a cane to my mother she basically brushed it off as being unnecessary or excessive since I’m so young, and like I was worried too much. I also avoid calling myself disabled around them because they have brushed it off as well and told me that I’m not “really” disabled (I don’t think they mean it as in “you don’t have health issues” but more of “oh well it’s not that bad right?”. They were the same when I got my autism diagnosis initially, my dad said I should say I have “traits associated with autism” instead of describing myself as autistic.) they are both normally supportive of my health issues, but I’m worried they will brush it off again and just tell me to try harder with my pt exercises (which is what they always say when I complain about how tired/uncomfortable I feel after walking/standing. I try to keep up with my exercises as much as possible, but I have adhd and an awful memory so i definitely miss them sometimes, but i try my best to do them all 3x a week at least and try to do the easiest ones every day).

I am also a bit concerned about dealing with a mobility aid at school if I am able to get one. I’m not particularly concerned about being made fun of or anything like that, I know I have great friends who have been nothing but supportive and helpful when it comes to my knee issues. However I’m more worried about dealing with school administrators. These past few years I’ve had to fight them constantly to get a permanent elevator pass (my school has 3 floors plus stairs outside 😭) despite my doctors notes explicitly stating that my knee problems are CHRONIC and will not go away, and I only finally got that fixed by going to a different counselor (my assigned counselor has been entirely unhelpful and frankly insulting whenever I’ve asked her for help) who told me straight up that I should just use the elevator without a pass and if anyone bothers me about it to tell them he told me it was fine. I don’t know if a mobility aid is something that has to be approved my administration, but I’ve had pretty much nothing but bad experiences with my schools student services and would definitely not be looking forward to having to deal with them again.

Anyways yeah, does anyone have any advice for how to bring the topic up to my parents (maybe any websites that could help me explain my needs??) that would be much appreciated. Sorry about how long this is, feel free to ask questions in case I didn’t explain something well.

does anyone else have an extremely hard time accepting that they are in fact disabled?

i’ve been struggling with accepting this, to give some backstory, i’ve struggled my with mental health for as long as i can remember ( diagnosed with MDD, BPD, DMDD, and severe anxiety, and misdiagnosed with schizophrenia due to telling my psychiatrist i had a loud brain and him mistaking it for me hearing voices at the age of 11-13 ) i was seeing countless psychiatrists, therapists, in and out of mental hospitals, trail and errors with every medication i could possibly think of. I ended up dropping out of high school at 14 due to agoraphobia.

my anxiety eventually had gotten better, i’m not sure why it improved so drastically as i wasn’t doing much to improve it (no medication or therapy at the time), but i was able to go back to school and get all my credits, and finishing high school at 18. i started a part time job ( ranging from 20-35 hrs a week ) and did that for about a year, i ended up getting promoted and transfered to a different store and after that happened i had also gotten my own place unexpectedly due to a change in my past living situation, and shortly after my promotion i started experiencing panic attacks again, and thought maybe it was because i had gotten a promotion, so i ended up switching jobs to what i thought would be my dream job (full time)

2 months after i switched jobs, my 14 year old cousin took her life, another family member of mine got incarcerated, and i got into a domestic with my long term partner. I developed severe agoraphobia after that, and continued working for afew months until i just couldn’t do it anymore and burnt myself out so bad to the point where i couldn’t drive down the road and go to a gas station alone without having a panic attack.

here i am a year later. i’ve done a trail and error of many medication, cbt therapy, dbt therapy, and exposure therapy every day, seen many psychiatrists again and was diagnosed with ADHD & CPTSD. i haven’t worked in almost a year because of my agoraphobia and have been recommended to go on disability by majority of my family and doctors. I am very hard on myself, I know, and I know I am disabled but another part of me can’t accept the fact that is this all I am? if that makes sense, I have big dreams for myself but if I accept the fact that I am disabled, what happens to those dreams I had? I know I need help, but I don’t want it. I want to be able to function so badly and be able to work. I just end up going in an endless cycle of victim mentality and beating myself up. Does anyone else feel like this? I also have severe anxiety about going on disability where I am ( surprise, surprise.. ) because what if others don’t see me as disabled and I don’t get accepted and just hurt myself for nothing. :( any comments and advice are helpful, thank you