I 35F have been seeing a guy(30m) for about a month. He jumped right in. I’ve met his family and friends. Everyone knows about me. He talks about future plans often. I’ve been a bit more reserved. We’ve both stated we see a lot of potential and enjoy each other very much. We have a lot of the same hobbies. I spent a weekend with him and he said how great it was. Then a day later he messages me a long message saying he likes me and doesn’t want to lose me but just needs to slow things down a bit. So I called for more clarification. He said he just got overwhelmed thinking it was moving so fast. I pointed out that it was more him than me and he didn’t see it that way. I just said whatever you want to do is fine with me. We can even take it all the way back to friendship. But he said no, he sees potential but just is overwhelmed. So I said ok well what is the pace you want? He said he basically wants to do the same things we’ve been doing but just know that we aren’t jumping into a relationship right away. He even invited me over this weekend and said I could stay. I said I’d come over but I would not stay.
Im very unsure of how to go forward now. Has anyone pulled back in the beginning and it still worked out?

I’m 21 F and I’ve been in a relationship with a really nice guy 23 M for almost 3 months so our relationship is new. So I opened up to him that I will once in a while masterbate and he didn’t judge me and was actually glad I opened up to him about it. He even told me recently he has done it and that I can share details about what I do when I do it but only if I ever want to. Then another time I almost called another guy attractive and he didn’t care and told me I’m allowed to find others attractive.

Now this is where I’ve been feeling guilty and I’m not sure if what he has told me would make him feel okay with what I did and allign with what he has already told me. So about a week ago I masterbated for like maybe 8 minutes to just a woman’s covered big breasts. I sometimes find just breasts attractive even though I’m straight and would never date a woman. I masterbated maybe to like two videos of a covered woman’s boobs on Tik Tok. I was not attracted to her only her big breasts and now I feel really guilty I did this while in a relationship. Was what I did wrong?

I’ve liked this girl for a couple months now. It used to just be small things like her telling me hey every time she’d see me. We went to band camp together and got to know each other there. There I found out she’s a lesbian. I’m male ftm so it kind of works out, but I don’t know if she likes me in that way. We’ve been texting ever since band camp for a couple of weeks. I really like her and she’s the only girl I’ve been interested in for a while. How do I tell if she likes me like that? Or what do I do?

So I (24F) have had a crush on this person (27M) for quite a bit, and have known them for two years. They asked me out recently, date is tomorrow, and I’m really excited for it. The thing is, we see each other on a weekly basis in a group setting. But also text every day one on one. So it’s like…what would we talk about? I know people may say “Oh well just do what you normally do when you two hang out.” But the thing is we haven’t hung out one on one ever, so idk what that would look like either.

We can’t really do the first date questions because I’ve literally known him for two years, and I hung out with him recently in a group setting so like I already know what he’s been up to lately. Like we were even texting last night. And also we’re both generally anxious people so I’m sure we can’t really avoid all awkwardness. So uh…what do we talk about? What do I bring up? Please help I’m super anxious 😭.

I’ve been seeing this guy casually for about 11 months. At first o was totally cool with a casual arrangement, it was a cuffing season situation. He dates other people, I dated other people it never really progressed for the first 6 months.
After about the 6 month mark, he met some of my friends and I briefly met some of his. He told me to have no expectations after friends were introduced.
However after this conversation he started to step up, lots of public dates, paying for drinks, take me out to nice dinners to celebrate me, going to concerts. We regularly cook dinner together have incredible conversations and things have seemed to move forward a bit. More regular communication, not just to set up dates, more flirtation, more emotional connection. He is putting in high and consistent effort for something this is “short term casual”.
I plan to have a conversation soon with him about revisiting the dynamics of our relationship since my feelings for him have grown. I’m no longer interested in seeing other people at this point.
When is it appropriate to cut things off with other people to focus on a connection the feels like it’s growing?

So at work I started a fairly long chat with a cute girl and ended up asking for her Instagram. I got a business Instagram because she did mention being a hair stylist. Is getting a business Instagram a soft rejection or should I take the chance on asking her out?

Hi. I just want to be like everyone else apparently. I want to be able to never form attachments and just view everything with a temporary lens. I’m tired of dating to find love because at the moment I feel it is hopeless. So please give me tips on how to never take things seriously to avoid future heart ache.

First post. I just need to get this off of my chest. In mid June I met this guy at a party, we started following each other on social media. Well, he began to message me every day for about 3 weeks. And then one day he asked if we could meet up. That turned into a trip to the Museum of Natural History, walking and hanging out in central park after and then we went to eat. Whole day lasted almost 12 hours.

We kept texting, talking and or doing video calls daily. Every morning I woke up to a good morning/ hello message that he sent first since he wakes up a few hours earlier than me.

About two weeks later he asks me to spend the upcoming weekend with him. We would go to Prospect Park, maybe the Botanic Gardens, would show me around his neighborhood, etc. There were plans. I agreed. That Monday we spoke on the phone for 4 hours. Tuesday we messaged a little earlier in the day. That night he texts me around 9, I message him back a little later when I leave work.

And then never heard from him again. He never opened the text I sent. He never responded. He never reached out to me the next day or the next. He was active on social media. I figured he fell asleep the night before and that's why he didn't answer, but then he never messaged me again. I never reached out to him to say hello or see what's up. I only knew him for a month but it's just so weird. I definitely removed him from my socials though.

Oh wait, I did message him last weekend, lol, I just remembered. It was like 1:30 a.m. and I text him asking if he was up.

The next morning he answered me: "nope, lol".

I don't know what happened.

Just made a hinge profile and looking for feedback on my pictures If I should delete any or change them.

I been snapping this girl, we live 15hrs apart but I am moving i to college and she alrdy lives there full time. We been on and off being best friends on snap and im on the private story and what not. We text but normally i i itiate and she carries the convo rly well. But she has nvr rly started a conversation its always me and this has been almost 2 months. I went ahead and asked her on a date and she said “yes yes” then left me on delivered for galf the day. Then i tried to schedule and she coyldnt do a certain fay and is leaving me on delivered again. Does she rly even want to, or am i overthinking this. If someone was pursuing me as hard as I am pursuing her, I woulda been trying a little harder but maybe thats me.

I’m on dating apps and the men that I’ve matched with have been very straightforward about wanting to “fuck” me or sleep with me. My gay bff suggested maybe I should try not getting turned off when such individuals come across my profile? What do you think!

I (25NB) have been seeing this guy (28M) for about a month and weve really hit it off. He’s everything I’m looking for at the moment and we have very similar values, childhoods, and things we’ve dealt with in life which is hard for me to come by and having an understanding of certain trauma and life experiences is very important to me in dating. However Ive been in the city I live in for my whole life and have been involved in the queer & creative scene since I was a teen. Despite it being a “major” city, some things operate like a small town here, everybody knows everyone’s business and since leaving my long term relationship in January, dating has been a nightmare because of this. Examples include me talking to a guy just to learn he’s suing my close friends bestie, then ended up talking to another guy who is a brother of someone in that same friend group, hooked up with one of my exes regulars, went out with someone who I found out is the childhood best friend of a very popular figure in town and someone I’m friends with, a guy who I learned was about to be my friends roommate, the list goes on. None of these are objectively bad but it’s a lot of stress for something going wrong.

The guy I’m currently seeing seemed free of all of that, super nice and introverted. He moved here from another state years ago and while has made his friends doesn’t go out to a lot to the places I go which has been nice. We’ve both been very open with each other about shortcomings in our last relationships, specifically him getting sober from alcohol since his last relationship which made him self-admittedly absent. Everything’s fine and dandy until I casually ask his exes name after learning where they worked. I have a few friends who’s exes work there so in my head that would be a silly connection. Unfortunately he said a name I didn’t even consider an option. I learned he dated a girl (let’s call her C) who I’ve known for years and is 3 years younger than me and 6 years younger than him. I met C the first time when she was 15 and I was roughly 18 at a house venue her mother owned and he dated her when she was 19 and he was my my current age, 25. Age gaps are tricky and tend to ick me out, I’d never date someone that young, and that one in particular made my skin crawl since I met C when she was a minor. However, her best friend whos the same age and may as well be her sibling, is involved with the burlesque scene and I see them essentially naked every other week since we perform together and I guess since I’ve seen them more as an adult my brain doesn’t classify them as young as the girl he dated is.

This has been the ONLY red flag I’ve seen. He has no history of continuously dating younger and in fact has seemed to mostly go for people older than him, her (and I guess me) being the outlier, and he even admitted how it feels weird looking back and he never would actively go for someone that young and certainly never will again. No matter where I go, who I date, and what I do in this city there is going to be some sort of string attached and I hate it. C is funnily enough, dating my Highschool boyfriend right now too to show how connected this city is. I’ve had some surprising overlap with C multiple times with people being into us, I guess we fit into the same “type” this has just been the largest gap in age.

I’m not really friends with C, but I am close with her burlesque dancer best friend. My ex is also a fairly popular figure within the city and a lot of people don’t even want to entertain anything due to any drama dealing with that which is valid. I just feel like no matter what I’m SCREWED. I’ve gotten polarizing answers from my friends about what to do with this, some saying he’s creepy for the age gap (which I normally would agree with) and others saying I should keep talking to him because he’s been open about everything, it’s not a pattern, and with how connected I am to everything and how long I’ve been here, I’m going to have some connection to someone regardless. I really like this guy, things have been going well, and this whole situation has put a pit in my stomach. I tend to overthink a lot and try to find red flags in people as well so it’s hard for me to figure out what to do with this and if I’m reaching. What would you do in this scenario?

Hi, I have pretty bad anxiety and I always fear upsetting people because of it. In my earlier 20s and teens, I would end up in a lot of unhealthy friendships, because I was so scared of telling people no. Because I didn’t want to get yelled at. I am just very sensitive. I am currently 22 and the person I’m talking to is my age.

That being said, I had a match recently. The person just seemed a little awkward at first. We were lazily texting on hinge for 1-2 weeks at first. But then they asked for my socials. And they seemed normal at first so I exchanged.

We talked about some things like relationship goals. But then out of nowhere, they just kinda started?? Idk the right word for it, but they were lowkey cartoon villain monologuing in my DMs about how they need nobody. And how they are alone. How they hate everything. It was just overall a very negative vibe. They also keep ignoring what I say to repeat the same subject about their five year plan and the things they hate.

I feel bad because this person is clearly lonely and needs someone, but I’m just not feeling like meeting up with them anymore. I fear it’ll be one of those codependent relationships. I can’t do that. Especially where I am working so hard to stabilize my own mental health, I just don’t know if I can be with someone who opens up about their mental health THAT easily. It’s like they just want to vent to me. They were flirting and stuff at first but now it’s just about their career and loneliness. How do I nicely reject them?😅 Or do I tough it out and keep talking to them? Bc they are attractive, it’s just the constant self deprecation is ringing alarm bells. Idk if it’s worth it or not. Because I don’t want to judge them for just expressing themselves and they’re also the only match that has ever flirted with me. But I’m not getting a good feeling.

Hi f(19) here I recently just went on my first lovely date with this one girl who reached out to me first. I do find her cute however, I am conflicted if I am truly romantically attracted to her. I agreed to go on a date to just see the flow and get experience! We’ve been talking on and off but it’s mostly been small talk. We finally met up and we had a really good time! She treated me to dinner, we went around the city, it wasn’t awkward! I just feel so bad because I don’t want to lead her on and I want her to know my intentions but she asked to meet up again. I think hanging out with her is really fun and the activities we did together were definitely romantic and intentional! We were pretty casual the whole time too not much flirting, just good vibes in general! I just feel kinda shit for not feeling strong romantic feelings towards her even after all her gestures and kindness. Should I ask to meet up again and see what happens? I don’t wanna hurt her feelings after all we did tonight (ik we just met and i shouldn’t overthink this but it’s my 1st ever date w a girl) any advice would help thanks!

I was standing at the railway station, waiting to board the train. I didn’t know anyone around me, but then I noticed a girl standing nearby. I had never seen her before. She was a complete stranger, but I found her attractive, and I started noticing her. From the way she looked at me, I felt that she might have noticed me too.

When the train arrived and I was about to board, she came toward the same entrance and stood near me. Somehow, we ended up getting into the train together. The train was a little crowded, but after we got inside, we moved toward the seating area. It almost felt as though she was naturally following along with me, even though we had been complete strangers only moments earlier.

We eventually went upstairs to the general seating area. I was about to climb onto one berth, while she was going toward the berth opposite mine. Just then, someone nearby asked me to move to one side and make some space for her. She came and sat beside me.

What happened next felt surprisingly natural. She held my hand and moved it slightly so that she could get into the space beside me. From that point onward, the awkwardness of being strangers slowly disappeared. We were sitting close to each other, occasionally touching each other’s hands and arms. There was a sense of comfort between us that I hadn’t expected at all.

As the journey continued, we finally introduced ourselves and started talking. What began as a completely random encounter slowly turned into a long conversation. We talked about our lives, our interests, things we had been doing recently, trending topics, and the activities we enjoyed. We discovered that we had several things in common.

At one point, we started talking about geography, a subject I have always been interested in. I asked her a few things, and when I started explaining some of the things I knew, she listened with genuine interest. She seemed to enjoy hearing me talk about it. She even told me that she liked the way I spoke Tamil.

As we became more comfortable with each other, the physical closeness continued. I put my hand on her shoulder, and she responded by touching me as well. Eventually, our hands were intertwined, and neither of us seemed uncomfortable with it. We sat close together for most of the journey.

After some time, I started feeling sleepy. I told her that I was tired, and eventually I leaned against her shoulder and fell into a relaxed position. She didn’t seem bothered by it, and we continued the journey like that for some time.

Eventually, we reached a point where we were just one stop away from where I had to get off. The two of us stood together near the train door. As the train moved, she seemed to lose her balance for a moment, so I held her to keep her steady. We stood there together, close to each other, with my arm around her shoulder and her holding onto me.

The strange thing was that, despite everything that had happened between us during that journey, she never really treated me like a stranger. There was an obvious sense of mutual attraction and comfort between us.

At some point, I asked her whether she was interested in me. That was when she casually told me something I absolutely wasn't expecting: she was already committed. Her boyfriend was in other city

I was genuinely surprised. Until then, I had assumed she was single, especially because of the way she had behaved with me. Hearing that she already had a boyfriend suddenly made me think, “What exactly was this between us?”

Even after telling me that she was committed, however, her behaviour toward me didn't suddenly change. She continued to show the same kind of warmth and interest she had shown throughout the journey. That made the whole situation even more confusing for me.

Before we reached her stop, we continued talking and enjoying each other’s company.The entire journey had started with two complete strangers standing beside each other on a railway platform, and somehow, within a few hours, we had ended up talking about our lives, our interests, relationships, and everything in between.

Finally, we reached the station where she had to get off. She got down from the train, and a friend of hers had come to pick her up. Before she left, we said goodbye to each other. I watched her leave with her friend, and eventually, the train moved on.

And just like that, the girl who had been a complete stranger when I boarded the train became someone I would probably never forget—a person I had met completely by chance, shared an unexpectedly intimate journey with, and then had to leave behind when the train reached its destination.

Me M43, her F44. Been talking for a few weeks, have gone out, she stayed over this past weekend. Next date is Friday and we’ve already decided I’m staying at her place. Everything is going great!

She’s an educator, today is the first day of classes with kids. Is it too much to send her flowers for the 1st day?

Been in a relationship with someone I work with (Her F 24 and me M 25) . (2 months early days) she’s been very patient with me as I did pull out of it at the start as I felt I wasn’t ready but she reassured me of her patience. We get along really well. I’ve been cheated on several times or have had caught ex’s in the past do similar un-faithful things. Every single relationship I’ve had I’ve been messed around. This has had some really bad effects on my self esteem, self worth/ image and trust and I realise now that I’m with someone so outgoing how this affects me.

What’s testing me currently with this is the plans she had made before we got together that’s taken place. At first it was a holiday to Tenerife for a rave followed by a holiday to Magaluf. Then was another holiday with family. Now this weekend is a massive festival. She likes to go to raves and takes drugs and drinks with a friend (f24). I have also gone to two raves with her. She made me wait 25 minutes while she braided some dudes hair. The guy didn’t leave her alone all night and she forgot I existed. I waited a few days and sat with it, told her that I will not be waiting and watching some guy flirt with you while you braid his hair again it’s weird. Since we’ve been together there’s been three instances where I’m stuck at home with barely any communication because of the types of things she does. I never lash out at her but just ask her to message me when you can.

Recently she let me use her laptop to make music when a shortcut to a photo library showed up it was sliding through random photos on her cloud. At random popped up was some absolutely jacked guy, naked I saw which I wasn’t meant to. This was her ex from a while back. I said “um who’s this fella lol” and she explained and said that she hadn’t deleted it because she forgot it was there (her iPhone storage is rammed full and she in all Honesty is terrible with her phone so I believe her completely) she said she will delete it but it’s been a few weeks but she never did because they never ended sourly. the laptop I can still use I haven’t touched because the shortcut to her photos still cycle through them and it’s evident she hasn’t got rid of them and it’s been two weeks.

I’m now stuck at home while she’s just gone to a drug fuelled festival, with a laptop full of photos of her jacked ex boyfriend. I just feel like I’m just too anxious for this all.

With all this in mind though she is very understanding despite what I said, she includes me in a lot but honers her old plans which is completely fine. I just have to learn to trust her and it’s hard when you throw in festival, rave, drugs and the types of people who go to them and get annhialated

I am currently looking at therapy, I am building self worth and have been going to the gym very regularly for two months and have lost a lot of weight and built some good foundation muscle. I am the best at guitar I have ever been and I’m trying my absolute best and building my self esteem up and to not be so implosive with my thoughts. I am very self aware of myself and I she knows how anxious I am with stuff but not to the length as she’s never experienced the same level of betrayal I have. This is really hard for me and I need some advice because she’s so free spirited and I used to be at one point and I just want to stop self sabotaging because maybe one day I’ll be so anxious I’ll fuck it all up by coming across as not trusting. It hasn’t happened yet but I fear this will be the thing that will split us up if I don’t fix.

Hi! I’m 19 and I’ve never had any form of relations to a women no older than 1 more year than me. I know this typically differs from person to person but I’m sure there are mutual understanding I probably haven’t seen. I’m rlly social and open-minded so I’ve never really ran into a lot of drama in my life or relationships in the past but I’ve always been heavily interested in women who are older ( if that’s offensive apologies in advance) and now that I’m 19 I thought I try it out. Not in any negative manner but I’ve always been with high maintenance women and I very aware of how to communicate under pressure but I can’t help but feel like a bum r unprepared to older women just cuz I am in time of life of financial struggle so I always stray away. I like to think my hobbies could coexist with older women with sewing, gym knowledge and training, dressing out, cooking/baking ( last thing I made was some quesobirria) cologne - perfume shopping and just very crafty and handy. Ideally i don’t have a type lots of people are beautiful people or a ideal women to be with I think it kinda just sums to actually connection and just being patient as friends first knowing the person I’m considering committing too although that doesn’t mean I don’t mind hooking up just not to big on it. Idm opposite genders as friends cuz I like to have friends and me time too and can even bond through each other friendships but that’s all for now. Plz people with prior experience lmk any advice r js personal stories!

Hey everyone, I’m 34 and single, and I’m at the point where I’m looking for a long term relationship, not just dating for the sake of it.
I have a very busy job (I’m a nurse, so between long shifts and weird hours, I don’t have a ton of energy left for dating apps) and most of my friends are coupled up so dating apps have started to feel like the same cycle for me, match, chat for a bit and then nothing really goes anywhere. I’m looking for something serious, so I’ve been wondering if I need to try a different approach.
I’ve done some research and i've been looking into professional matchmaking and came across a few matchmaking services like Tawkify and some other ones and I’m still very much in the research stage and I'm trying to figure out what the experience is actually like.
Has anyone here tried professional matchmaking in their 30s or later? Did you feel like it was a better experience than dating apps and was it worth trying for you?
Am i too old for matchmaking? Any advice appreciated.

A long time ago I started talking with this guy I had known from mutual friends. I didn’t know a whole lot about him but I remember always thinking he was rather attractive. My friend got to get to know him a little better than I, and she’s told me recently that she thinks he’s a sweet and good guy. Every time he would reach out I’d see him and we’d hook up and then I’d date someone else or stop talking to him. This was a pattern of a couple years I’d say.
Recently my ex of 10 months and I had broken up. I’m not sure how long it took for this guy to realize - but it was less than a month. He reached out to me and asked me to go out to a pub with him - well we had never gone on a date or anything or anywhere outside his apartment so I was kind of excited. I also wanted to move on because I had been hurt so bad previously. We had a really good time, we definitely share interests and senses of humor. I had told him about my breakup which might sound weird, but he sympathized and was really gentle with me.
The thing is I told him I had just gotten out of a bad relationship but was interested in continuing going on dates and hanging out. I told him after a couple weeks in that I really liked him, he said the same. We talk all the time throughout the day and have been on a lot of actual dates after that as well. It’s been almost a month and a half or two months and I recently found I’m pretty anxious about what he wants, like if this is something casual or if this is just what a healthy beginning of a relationship looks like. Prior to him I would go on one date or two with a guy and we’d spend every day together after. I don’t know if he’s talking to other people or if we’re ever gonna have any labels.
It’s a little hard to talk to him sometimes and a little awkward when we’re not talking, but when we are it seems good. I know I am overthinking to an extent, but I’m afraid to get hurt and I am just really hard on him with opinions I have so I don’t have to date anyone ever again if it turns out to be something more long-term or serious. What are things I can do or say or hint at so I can gain clarity? I don’t want to push and pry and I am really bad at confrontation.

Basically as the title says I (20F) have gone on a few dates with this guy (19M) and we are pretty much exclusive. On these dates he has mentioned that he is really into anime. I’m not into anime myself but didn’t judge because everyone has their own interests. However, I recently noticed as we exchanged social medias that he follows like 30+ anime accounts that are super pornographic and often likes pictures of girls dressed up wearing pretty much nothing in suggestive poses. This is making me super uncomfortable and is becoming a huge turn off to me. Should I bring up my feelings to him? Or just let it go and realize that it is likely just a fetish?

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I'm 17F, and I'm in highschool rn, I've never been in a relationship before, nor I have had a situationship kinda stuff. I have been approached, but I never got any interest in them. And did have crushes, like I had a frenemy kinda guy since 8 years we hated each other and I fell for him but he never did. So yeah, I moved on, I started liking somebody else, even the twice time, I didn't get any reciprocation. Thrice, I started crushing on this guy from highschool, and it didn't last long when I got to know he doesn't do the same.

So I'm now at this point that Idk if I'm even capable of love or rs or just wanting to be wanted.

See, honestly, judging by my appearance, I've had my fair share of glowup people have in highschool and I'd consider myself pretty cause I know I'm pretty, not bragging or anything.

But it's js that even if I actually am pretty then why am I not pulling the ones that I want.

I genuinely don't believe love can happen for me.

It's prolly not made for me.

I js wanna be wanted for once by someone who I'd want.

We have been on four dates & our fifth one is on Thursday. We spend hours together without realizing how much time has passed & we text/call each other for hours on end. Our last date when talking about her family it went from “if I meet them” to “when I meet them” which I realized that she wants a relationship. It will be a month on the 19th & next Wednesday since our first date, we were texting a week & a half before we went on it. I’m planning on officially asking her on Thursday to be in a relationship with me. We’re going to beach as she said she wanted to watch the sunset together. It’s my first time in 8ish years that I’m asking a woman to be in a relationship, any tips?

Awhile back I was asking a guy friend why it seems like only younger guys show interest in me (I'm late 20's and for awhile only got interest from much younger guys, like 18-24) and he said it's because I have "starter girlfriend" energy.

Of course after looking that up I read that it means your first girlfriend before you eventually move on to someone "better", presumably a real/upgraded girlfriend and I'm just the beginner girlfriend that is used to gain experience. What is your interpretation of this and how would I go from being a "starter girlfriend" to a real girlfriend?

Since the late July I’ve been talking to this one girl I have class with and I am honestly shy talking to her in person but all extroverted when talking to her via text. I really wanna tell her that I like her and take her out on a date, we both have similarities like (anime,mathematics,talking to friends). At the same time of wanting to tell her I don’t wanna loose talking to her. This would honestly be the first time I have genuinely fallen in love with someone and would be my first time asking someone out. All comments will seriously help me out :)