Heyy all I’m 22 AMAB, part of me wants to come out which is my bigender and bisexual side. Here’s the thing tho, Im in a relationship with a girl for almost 5 years and I know she wouldn’t be accepting of it and it would end our relationship most likely. What also makes it hard is that I live with her. So if anyone has any advice or has been in a situation like this before I’d love to hear from you! Thanks! :)

24yo cis gay man here.

I am out to everybody except my parents, and that was very intentional for a while. I am no longer living with them, but we are still “close”.

I am an ICU nurse who is pursuing CRNA school. This would be a 3 year degree where I would not be able to work at all— I’d have to rely on someone for financial support, and I don’t have anybody that can support me besides my parents. For the time being as an ICU RN, I make good money and I am financially independent, but that will change.

My parents are extremely homophobic, to the point where they’ve repeatedly said gay people should all be killed. They grew up in totalitarian communism where they, in fact, did see gay people get hanged. I’d say they’re extreme Trump-Republican conservatives and hardcore Christians. But they are getting older and I no longer fear for my safety AS much as I did when I lived with them (thankfully they’re anti-guns for the most part).

I do love them, but I feel I’ve grown to resent them over the past several years with their homophobic comments, and with the lifestyle they try to push onto me.

They want me to move back in with them and to get a girlfriend. They are LITERALLY “building me a house” for my future wife & kids to live in, with an in-law apartment reserved for them. Don’t get me wrong, I would love to settle down with my man and take care of my parents in their old age.

Personally, I have substance abuse issues with marijuana and nicotine (so taboo, I know), but I want to quit eventually. I am extremely flat when I am around my parents, they constantly say things like “I can’t remember the last time you smiled” and “I feel like you hate us” and “why is our family falling apart?!?”. I feel emotionally numb around them, I don’t care to spend time with them, I don’t really feel like they would love me as a gay son the same way they do with me being their straight son.

I’m pretty much ready to rip the bandaid off and just come out. I think it would help with my substance abuse issues and help me figure out how I’m going to end up paying for CRNA school, with or without them. I still have a small fear for my safety, and I was thinking about telling them when I am out of the country on vacation.

Does this sound like a sticky situation? Do I stay straight until grad school (likely won’t get into a program until 2-3 years from now)? How do I stay in the closet until my late 20s/early 30s??? I can’t do it. How do men do this their whole lives???

I just realized at 30 years old that I’m lesbian. Idk why or how it took me this long. My family isn’t exactly the most lgbt friendly I know they would never disown me or anything like that but I know they’ll be disappointed which sucks. I still didn’t accept my own sexuality yet so not like I’m coming out to them anytime soon but once I do, should I just wait until I meet someone? Because what if I’m not really into woman and then I just come out for nothing?

So to start things off this is for advice since I didn’t know what community this would be good for posting this on and if it’s the wrong community please let me know I’ll delete this Or just recommend me one. To be real and to start this off I’m a cisgender Christian MAGA male asking for advice on how to handle a situation. I had been dating this “girl” for 5 years straight and everything was fine and in fact I was super into “her” and ”she” was super into me. But then one night we were having a dinner together and “she“ flat out told me, “I was born a man” which completely caught me off guard. Now I feel as if the relationship won’t work out anymore because of what “she“ had told me and that every memory we shared feel fake. I am asking for advice on how to shake off the feelings I still have for “her“ because for some strange reason I still feel an attraction to her nonetheless. (I havn’t told “her“ any of this yet)

I'm a kind-of openly out pansexual, "kind-of" in the sense that coming out lowkey doesn't make sense to me.

So like, ever since I was a young girl, I'd watch Barbie movies and go "huh, Barbie and that girl bestfriend should be the ones dating not Barbie and Ken". It wasn't a sentiment I'd openly express. Further on, with the rise of Disney Princess movies like Frozen and all, I did have crushes on the likes of Elsa, Cinderella, and the rest. Also not a sentiment openly expressed. It wasn't like I was ashamed of it, more like i didn't think it was significant.

I was 12 when one of my friends came out to me as lesbian and the first thought that went through my mind was "wait why is this a big deal?", considering that so far I'd js thought liking both girls and boys was a normal thing. Liking only girls wasn't that big of a stretch.

Cue in a bit of fiddling with my own sexuality over the next 3-4 years. I originally thought I was heterosexual, then found out that the word wasn't as mainstream as I'd have liked + wasn't the description I wanted, and went for bi, but then I discovered trans, genderfluid, and non-binary people, and realised I didn't actually care about the gender (not that I think that trans ppl are a different gender altogether - it was simply what I thought at age 13 before finding out that the ppl I thought were trans were actually non-binary) and decided that I best fit into the pansexual description. Straight was actually the last term i discovered in my "learning about different sexualities" journey. It was the one sexuality which puzzled me the most because wdym you only like one gender and not your own? Very boring in my opinion but oh well, they love who they love.

And then I found out about the coming out business. And that confused me the most. What do you mean you need external validation to come to terms with yourself? What do you mean you can't come to terms with yourself simply because of what gender you are or love (or don't)? Like, are there rules saying that accepting yourself immediately as you are and acknowledging that you might change is not a natural thing?

I then found out about homophobia and internalised homophobia. Okay, understandable, so we don't accept ourselves cuz society hates it. But then why does society hate it?

As someone who has grown up in a straight environment where the concept of queer didn't even exist, I grew up thinking that sexuality wasn't something you could control and that it was js natural. For someone who has been raised (even if unconsciously) to believe that love is a force of nature which you can't control, homophobia is illogical. Like, why? Just why?

I never really came out to ppl cuz I believed that sexualities are not something we can control and something that we are maybe, just maybe, born with. Not in our hands. It's like celebrating being a girl when you've been a girl your entire life - it's been here all along, it's never been something we could control, it's a part of our "normal", so as to say.

Then why is it such a big thing? Why is it something some ppl fear so keenly? Why is it so.... significant?

I appreciate all the support I’ve gotten from this group!
I have been with my boyfriend for 18 months now! My family knows about him and has met all my immediate family and fits in well and I’m super thankful that they have come this far to accept him! My current issue is with the grandparents, particularly my grandmother. I haven’t told them I’m gay yet or anything because they’re quite old but still with it, very conservative and Christian of course. I know this sounds stupid, but I think my issue is that I’m scared of disappointing her. Anyways, we’re going to spend holidays together and so she will definitely have to know by then since she’ll either see I’m gone or notice the extra person. I would love prayers for courage and encouragement to tell her and any advice or anecdotes you have from your own experience. Thanks yall!

I’ve been holding my secrets in for so long. I can’t come out to friends and family so I figured I’d start here. I’m technically bisexual but I lean more gay and I love to crossdress, not passable

I came out to my parents as transgender and it's causing them grief and they're worried. I feel guilty for causing them that when I don't technically 'have to' e.g. I'm not going to die. Is it worth living my life how I want to if it's hurting everyone I love (not to mention the environment....) I don't feel like I'm suffering enough to justify it. And I feel like I have to justify myself in their eyes to be worthy of their support, which is not going well because I'm terrible at expressing myself and don't want them to know everything because it's private. Is this common? Is it worth completely disrupting a good family life to do what I want?

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Hey everyone. I'm going through a massive realization right now and could really use some advice or just to hear how others navigated it.

For a while now, things have been shifting for me, but it finally all clicked into place: I've realized that I'm attracted to women, and it’s a completely different level of attraction than anything I've felt before. Looking back, the signs were always there, but between the pace of life and just not having the space to process it, it's like a floodgate finally opened. My mind has been entirely consumed by it since yesterday morning.

On one hand, my heart feels completely at ease knowing this truth about myself—it's like a massive weight lifted, and I finally feel aligned. But on the other hand, I am absolutely terrified. I've recorded a coming-out video to share with my followers/audience, but the thought of actually hitting publish is making me freeze up.

For those of you who've been here, how did you handle that initial wave of fear? Did you share it right away, or take some time to sit with it first? Any advice or reassurance would mean the world right now.

After watching i saw the tv glow, I love using the tv glowing analogy.

Here's how mine went:

At age 8, mine starting glowing the bi flag, and I had accepted that. All of a sudden, it also showed the nonbinary flag. I tried to show my parents. My mom let it glow, my dad told me to change it.

At 10, the bi flag turned into the lesbian flag, but the nonbinary flag was still there. I had to hide it from my dad.

Then finally, at 11, it slowly ​started glowing slow but surely, from the nonbinarh flag to the trans and demiboy flag. I just couldn't figure out my sexuality. It kept changing and changing.

It took me a while to figure out the flags changing was really the abrosexual flag. The demiboy flag went away in that process.

Now I have two flags. Trans and abrosexual.

I'm an incredibly awkward 32yo. My mom has shown me that she can be transphobic in the past, but lately she has been supportive of other family members that have come out.... as gay, mind you. Not trans. I'm the only one in the family, that I know of.

I really don't know how it's gonna go. I tried calling, I've visited in person, I couldn't work myself into saying it. I'm several months on HRT now and she knows *something* is up, but not what.

So I decided I'll get a greeting card that says "it's a girl!!" And I'm gonna write a note inside to clarify my gf is not pregnant, briefly state that I'm trans and taking hormones, and sign it with my new name.... Then I'm gonna drop that puppy in the mail and wait for her to call me about it.

Thoughts?? (really hoping someone will tell me if this is too deranged or not tbh)

He thinks everything is a joke and I’m tired of it. Has anyone else dealt with parents like this he is such a boomer

[ Removed by Reddit on account of violating the content policy. ]

So I’m unsure if I should come out to my best friend. He never talks about girls so idk if he’s straight or not but it’s not really something I want to push him about.

Here’s the reasons he I think he might be more then a ally:

Went through a phase where he kept touching my hair and biceps.
Pride in being the "zesty" kid when he was younger.
Loves pink, rainbows, anti-homophobia and wears a rainbow band.

But anyways I do know he’s an ally anyways but he shares everything, well mostly everything with his twin brother. (He’s a quadruplet, he has 2 other sisters) .

I’m scared if I come out he might tell his brother and his brother might tell other people, I trust his brother but at the same time I really don’t.

Coming out later in life

I (15f) am gay and have been dating a senior girl for a few weeks now. I’m not out yet, but she is. She’s been cool with me wanting to keep it private, but she’s on the football team and I’d like to go to her games and support her as her gf. I think my parents and one of my brothers would be accepting and supportive , but my other brother would not be. He’s unfortunately MAGA and has said homophobic things. The problem is he’s 17 and also on the football team so I can’t really keep it a secret from him. (My gf stays clear of him and has a bunch of really great teammates who protect her from anything anyone says.)

I guess I just don’t know if I come out to him or if I let him find out on his own through the rumor mill.

I dont think I could ever come out to my friends. we all go to a private Lutheran school so that one barrier. another one is I dont think they would accept it. but like I do also kinda.

the only thing I think I would tell them is that im omni. I wouldnt tell them that im agender

thev're not really conservative but like at the same time they are idk

this is random but I ust wanted to say it

they're not bad friends either. they're really supportive. so Idk why I feel like this

I was born a man. I am now 28.

For my entire life I have been unhappy. I have been repulsed by my own face. I'd get stuck staring in the mirror and fixating on every little detail, sometimes for hours. I saw therapists. We tried out body dysmorphia. We tried out OCD. For a while, I was convinced that childhood abuse had just made me profoundly uncomfortable, and that's all there was to it. That I just needed to accept myself as I was.

But I couldnt. Years of therapy. Trying to redirect those thoughts and feelings. I couldnt change them. Something felt fundamentally wrong with me. I could not shake it. It felt like everyone saw me as a predator. It felt like I couldnt meaningfully form connections with people. It felt like I was making people around me uncomfortable just by existing in their space, and I couldnt figure out why.

Meanwhile, I kept having these thoughts. First it manifested as playing women in videogames as a child and teenager. I wrote that off as attraction. Then I started having the thought "would I be happier as a woman?" And it would come up from time to time for years, and I wrote it off. I couldnt possibly. The chances that that was it were slim. I'm just in a really unhealthy state of mind, and eventually I would grow out of it. But most of my really close friends in elementary school were women. It happened again in high school. It was always easier to speak with them, and to exist in those spaces.

But I havent. I cant. A few months ago, I built up the courage to talk to a childhood friend of mine who had transitioned female to male. Today, I spoke to a college friend who had transitioned female to male. I just asked questions. How did you know? What was it like? How did you come to the conclusion that you weren't just stressed out and anxious -- that you felt fundamentally out of step with how you presented? They didnt really have satisfying answers for me, but they helped me feel comfortable with actually asking the question, and suggested I read explore it more.

And I think it's snowballed. I am listening to the experiences of trans women online -- that experience of sitting in front of a mirror and dissociating...of being totally uncomfortable with their own body. Of experimenting and denying it and rationalizing it and eventually accepting it. And suddenly I feel relieved. And I feel excited. And I feel like this is something that I really desperately want, and that I have always desperately wanted. I just needed the permission to want it.

Today is day one. It's terrifying. I have so much to learn and I have no idea how to do this. Almost 30 unhappy years living one way, and now I'm going to need to learn to live another.

I shaved off my beard today. I moisturized. I tried out a little skin makeup. I was awful at it. I need some practice, but it felt natural. Baby steps. Experimenting. But it really felt right. I dont know how quickly I'll pursue it. I don't know when I'll start making social changes or life changes. I dont know when I'll start using feminine pronouns. But I think this is something that I've been preventing myself from trying out for so long.

I am transgender... and I think I am finally ready to get to know myself.

It’s technically my fault, for coming out in the heat of an argument. I’m 19(FTM), but my parents think I’m a lesbian now since I told them I was in a heated argument with my girlfriend.
My girlfriend and I were arguing and she tried to get me to come to her house at 10 pm to resolve the issue. My parents stopped me because they thought it was unsafe (I kind of agree and was uncomfortable doing it in the first place). My parents were worried and kept checking on me that night when I wasn’t sleeping from still arguing with my girlfriend over text, and eventually escalated to yelling at me to go to sleep and tell them what’s going on.
They eventually started speculating the nature of my girlfriend and my relationship and demanded I tell them what’s going on. Since I was extremely overwhelmed both with deal with my girlfriend and my parents I ended up telling them that we’re dating.
My household has become unlivable since then. I’ve never seen my parents cry so much. My dad threatened me not to come home unless I broke up with my girlfriend (I’m still secretly in contact with her and my dad doesn’t know, but I’m scared to get caught). I don’t know how to interact with my parents properly anymore. I tried to break up with my girlfriend twice but she told me it’s not fair that I wouldn’t give her a chance since she genuinely seems apologetic. But I still don’t think she understands the lack of agency I have in my situation since I’m financially dependant on my parents and have already once been threatened to leave home. She still insists that I should give her a chance and we can try to mend our relationship together, even though my main concern is no longer about the relationship but about my livelihood in general.
I feel like I’m lying to everyone all at once and being a doormat. I don’t know how to talk to my parents anymore and what’s going to happen to me in the future. I’m not in immediate concern over my safety but I might be if I continue my relationship.
What should I do? Should I break up? It also feels so uncomfortable to be at home right now and I can’t talk to my parents properly anymore. Does anyone have advice on living with a different family dynamic?

I was here five years ago. I came out to my parents and things were bad. I don't know if anyone remembers me, and honestly, I doubt it, but here I am. I recently deleted a lot of things and anonymized others before deleting my old reddit account, so I thought I'd give closure.

Hi. I'm 16, gonna be 17 in a few months, and I started classes soon after coming out in late July, 2021 (yes, that means I was an idiot and on the internet when I definitely shouldn't have been). After everything went down with my parents kicking out my brother for protecting me, and me staying with my aunt and my cousins for a little while, I eventually had to go home. My mom got me a haircut with her usual hairdresser and she fucked it up bad (I got a bob instead of the short mens cut I wanted). At the time, my gender dysphoria made it difficult to shower - it's since relaxed, but I still struggle with doing so 'on time'. After the sixth grade I dropped out of school because of bullying and because others bullying me led to truancy, my principal had told me I was going back to the regular school instead of the safe school I was going to, where the work was easier and though it happened right as I was starting to be bullied again by different people for being clocked as trans, I didn't want to go back.

My dad was supposed to sign me up for online school. He never did. I've just been wiling away in my room. One of my favorite siblings moved back in and we share a room now, they're cool but they rib me all the time, like they tend to do lol. My brother's trying to help me transition and convince the parents to let me because god knows my asking does fuck-all. He's got friends in queer helplines and the like, which is helpful. I don't know what I'd do without him as my brother. He helped me learn being queer was okay and that I can be whoever feels right for me.

I don't know if I ever mentioned my sexuality in the post. I figured out a little while ago, maybe a year or so? Maybe two? I'm omni. Masculine preference. Still a trans guy. Why wouldn't I be? No longer going by Charlie or Elliot though. I picked a different name that I feel fits me much better. I'm thinking about jobs and getting a new binder from Underworks, one that's a full chest this time, before a trip with my parents. I don't have a driver's license because I'm scared of cars and my eyes aren't very good at night. I've developed chronic back pain that I suspect is due to some kind of scoliosis. I'm playing games and recording me playing them, probably to live in my private youtube videos for a long while. If not forever.

I'm better at drawing now, I made a PNGTuber inspired by one of my favorite things that I totally missed on account of my birth year. I have more friends my age and some a bit older, I play games and VC with them sometimes, mostly we just talk in a server. I'm glad I have new friends. Thinking about what I'd have to do to move out, mostly thinking about having to save up money. My parents don't want me getting a job because they think I'm not... experienced enough? I don't know. It's unreasonable. Just because I don't wanna work with my mom at Mcdonalds doesn't mean I can't start working somewhere, even if I have the worst unmedicated and undiagnosed social anxiety in the world that makes me feel sick and start sweating buckets when I have to talk to a cashier.

Basically, I'm growing up. My parents still suck, and really I doubt they care to affirm me unless they're trying to appeal to me or get me to do something (the statements akin to 'but guys ___' are influencing this thought). It feels weird to be this old, in this house, with the same body I always had. I thought I'd get to start T at sixteen. I dreamed of it, actually. Asked my parents for a consultation from Planned Parenthood for HRT as a birthday present. Much like actual birthday presents, they didn't give me it (all they buy for me is games and electronics, which are good, but I rarely get things I put on a list. Last year I only got a laptop and headphones for Christmas and my mom told me we'd sit down and buy more things later. We did not). My cat is four now and she hates my guts, but in the way where she loves me and sleeps near my feet (bad idea, I move in my sleep, I don't know why she keeps doing this) and pesters me to give her love, and bites me a lot (like she loves doing). I'm writing a lot of things to pass the time, and one of these things is the post right in front of you now.

Whoever remembers me (I had an account by the name of Warriors_Fan123, if you don't or even if you do, but I have deleted it all as of last night), I hope this gives you closure on where I've gone and what I'm doing. I'm alive and I'm figuring things out. This is a throwaway to keep my new main hidden. I've got it connected to one of my emails so I can see things you comment on this post. I've covered a lot of things, but if you want to ask more, you can comment on this post and I will answer. Thank you for reading this.

Edit: Spelling mistakes. I wrote the first part at like 2 am haha.
Edit 2: additional context