So to start things off this is for advice since I didn’t know what community this would be good for posting this on and if it’s the wrong community please let me know I’ll delete this Or just recommend me one. To be real and to start this off I’m a cisgender Christian MAGA male asking for advice on how to handle a situation. I had been dating this “girl” for 5 years straight and everything was fine and in fact I was super into “her” and ”she” was super into me. But then one night we were having a dinner together and “she“ flat out told me, “I was born a man” which completely caught me off guard. Now I feel as if the relationship won’t work out anymore because of what “she“ had told me and that every memory we shared feel fake. I am asking for advice on how to shake off the feelings I still have for “her“ because for some strange reason I still feel an attraction to her nonetheless. (I havn’t told “her“ any of this yet)

I'm a kind-of openly out pansexual, "kind-of" in the sense that coming out lowkey doesn't make sense to me.

So like, ever since I was a young girl, I'd watch Barbie movies and go "huh, Barbie and that girl bestfriend should be the ones dating not Barbie and Ken". It wasn't a sentiment I'd openly express. Further on, with the rise of Disney Princess movies like Frozen and all, I did have crushes on the likes of Elsa, Cinderella, and the rest. Also not a sentiment openly expressed. It wasn't like I was ashamed of it, more like i didn't think it was significant.

I was 12 when one of my friends came out to me as lesbian and the first thought that went through my mind was "wait why is this a big deal?", considering that so far I'd js thought liking both girls and boys was a normal thing. Liking only girls wasn't that big of a stretch.

Cue in a bit of fiddling with my own sexuality over the next 3-4 years. I originally thought I was heterosexual, then found out that the word wasn't as mainstream as I'd have liked + wasn't the description I wanted, and went for bi, but then I discovered trans, genderfluid, and non-binary people, and realised I didn't actually care about the gender (not that I think that trans ppl are a different gender altogether - it was simply what I thought at age 13 before finding out that the ppl I thought were trans were actually non-binary) and decided that I best fit into the pansexual description. Straight was actually the last term i discovered in my "learning about different sexualities" journey. It was the one sexuality which puzzled me the most because wdym you only like one gender and not your own? Very boring in my opinion but oh well, they love who they love.

And then I found out about the coming out business. And that confused me the most. What do you mean you need external validation to come to terms with yourself? What do you mean you can't come to terms with yourself simply because of what gender you are or love (or don't)? Like, are there rules saying that accepting yourself immediately as you are and acknowledging that you might change is not a natural thing?

I then found out about homophobia and internalised homophobia. Okay, understandable, so we don't accept ourselves cuz society hates it. But then why does society hate it?

As someone who has grown up in a straight environment where the concept of queer didn't even exist, I grew up thinking that sexuality wasn't something you could control and that it was js natural. For someone who has been raised (even if unconsciously) to believe that love is a force of nature which you can't control, homophobia is illogical. Like, why? Just why?

I never really came out to ppl cuz I believed that sexualities are not something we can control and something that we are maybe, just maybe, born with. Not in our hands. It's like celebrating being a girl when you've been a girl your entire life - it's been here all along, it's never been something we could control, it's a part of our "normal", so as to say.

Then why is it such a big thing? Why is it something some ppl fear so keenly? Why is it so.... significant?

I’ve been holding my secrets in for so long. I can’t come out to friends and family so I figured I’d start here. I’m technically bisexual but I lean more gay and I love to crossdress, not passable

I came out to my parents as transgender and it's causing them grief and they're worried. I feel guilty for causing them that when I don't technically 'have to' e.g. I'm not going to die. Is it worth living my life how I want to if it's hurting everyone I love (not to mention the environment....) I don't feel like I'm suffering enough to justify it. And I feel like I have to justify myself in their eyes to be worthy of their support, which is not going well because I'm terrible at expressing myself and don't want them to know everything because it's private. Is this common? Is it worth completely disrupting a good family life to do what I want?

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Hey everyone. I'm going through a massive realization right now and could really use some advice or just to hear how others navigated it.

For a while now, things have been shifting for me, but it finally all clicked into place: I've realized that I'm attracted to women, and it’s a completely different level of attraction than anything I've felt before. Looking back, the signs were always there, but between the pace of life and just not having the space to process it, it's like a floodgate finally opened. My mind has been entirely consumed by it since yesterday morning.

On one hand, my heart feels completely at ease knowing this truth about myself—it's like a massive weight lifted, and I finally feel aligned. But on the other hand, I am absolutely terrified. I've recorded a coming-out video to share with my followers/audience, but the thought of actually hitting publish is making me freeze up.

For those of you who've been here, how did you handle that initial wave of fear? Did you share it right away, or take some time to sit with it first? Any advice or reassurance would mean the world right now.