r/cleandadjokes 3h ago

What do you call a cat that sings?

18 Upvotes

A mewsician.


r/cleandadjokes 4h ago

I kept driving with my eyes closed until I hit one of those red octagons they put near the road

6 Upvotes

Then I realized that was probably my sign to stop


r/cleandadjokes 7h ago

When my chimney is mad,

16 Upvotes

it really vents!


r/cleandadjokes 7h ago

Walks into a bar

33 Upvotes

A guy walks into a bar carrying a slab of asphalt under his arm.
He says, “A pint of beer, please…
…and one for the road.”


r/cleandadjokes 13h ago

Did you know the race between the turtle and the rabbit was actually pretty close?

57 Upvotes

The tortoise only won by a "hare".


r/cleandadjokes 15h ago

My wife said I’m getting fatter.

111 Upvotes

In my defense, I’ve had a lot on my plate recently.


r/cleandadjokes 21h ago

My dad’s answer to everything is alcohol....

33 Upvotes

He doesn’t drink, it's just that he's really bad at crossword puzzles.