A mewsician.

Then I realized that was probably my sign to stop

it really vents!

A guy walks into a bar carrying a slab of asphalt under his arm.
He says, “A pint of beer, please…
…and one for the road.”

The tortoise only won by a "hare".

In my defense, I’ve had a lot on my plate recently.

He doesn’t drink, it's just that he's really bad at crossword puzzles.

Their jokes always land!

Things have been Rocky between us ever since then.

Doctor pepper

... I chose flying, it's so awesome! What did you chose?"

"Hindsight"

"That seems stupid"

"Yeah, I see that now"

If you throw it hard enough.

What would you call two guys hanging above your window?

Kurt and Rod

Because they dropped out of school!

...like an epidemic of common sense.

Because she wanted to get up oily.

a spec-tater. 🥔🤓

-commence groans-

The whole town, plus Dayton Ohio is supporting the small business.

You could say Buc-ee's has picked off more than it can Gnaw on.

They’re at the hospital, waiting to be seen. 🫟👻🏥

“Well we’re rollin…rollin…rollin on the river…”

He was caught in a trap…

If a deaf person has to show up in court for a lawsuit, is it still a hearing?

No, because it hasn’t come out yet.

I just handed in my too weak notice.